It's a wild ride for sure. My fella passed away about a year and a half ago. He had 2 years of very bad sickness . I did grieve before he passed from the time of his diagnoses his kids didn't come to see him much really he ran for them . He was with me in my care pretty much to the end only one day till he passed in hospice it was heart wrenching for me. I'm not healed from the loss or the way things where handled. I did feel relief when his pain was over . I don't feel guilt for that his life was not life in the end. He wasn't hardly himself in the end. I would love him back but not sick .

My Mom died when she was only 41 years old. My dad was in so much pain he did the same thing as you. I believe her clothing was the first of her things to go. My husband died on May 15th of this year. He has/had a den where he kept most of his clothes and other clothes upstairs in the master bedroom closet. Everything still looks like he's coming home tomorrow. I just can't part with his belongings yet:(

Thank you Leo and all on the live stream. 2 weeks in to this nightmare. This is enormously helpful. God bless you.

I would have never let her see his kids again

Is anyone else having trouble accessing the Grief Pivot Course on One Happy Widow? I love Leo's approach and KZbin vids. Thanks!

Its been a year since my husband died. I had neglected myself, in order to care for my husband. I went weeks without washing my hair or applying face cream. I took a shower everyday, but anything more i just couldnt do. Forget makeup. I needed my hair cut. I prctically quit eating. I didn't care. Now, a year out, i take time everyday to care for myself. My docto is worried because I've trimmed down 60 lbs and im not dieting.

Same with my hubby’s things

Ty Leo. You've helped me so much. God bless you

Their lives move on.

I am so grateful that I found your channel! I am 7 weeks in to being a widow,,, and I can't believe how some people are so judgemental on so many aspects of my grief journey... Your support during this lonely and difficult time means so very much... I wish you healing and happiness... Bless you dear❤

In the first month or two, not much of this made sense. At nearly five months, I recognize a lot of it.

My husband died on May 15th of this year. I have to say, fortunately there was no drama. His family was very accommodating, but honestly I haven't heard much from them since he died. To be fair I haven't gone out of my way to contact them either. I hope if there's a heaven above hubby is up there looking down and proud of how we all handled ourselves during that very difficult time. 😥

My husband of 27 years died 10 days ago. Today, I got up and put pants on.

One and a half years for me now. The grief is changing. Now it is sometimes very sharp. Seems to not be waves anymore, more like a circle. Linda was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2019. Looking back over the past 5 years, I can see the changes in her from about 2014. Didn't know what it was all about, what was happening. Lewy Body is that way. The sharp pian is back from time to time. I see it, I won't push it away, but I know to not let it take over. That is tough. Main point of that is, she would not want me to just give up. She would want me to live. 2020, tough year, as you point out, for everyone. Linda was regressed to the point of not knowing what was happening at all. Covid, and then there was a fire here. 173,000 acres of forest. 400 homes lost. We were lucky, it just burned all the forest around us. We were evacuated for 2 weeks. Highway was closed for 47 miles. We live at mile 24. Anyhow, thing I remember the most right now is my thoughts from 2020 to 2023 when she died, 3/19.2023. I remember giving up our horses and donkeys to a great rescue place, all in great homes now. That happened in 2020 as caring for Linda and all of them became too much. Weird thing I remember the most is helping her up from her recliner every night, walking her to bed, tucking her in, I love you dear. I would do this walk with her, thinking "How long am I going to have to do this?". Maybe because she always healed from all her ills so well. Strange thing is looking back at that and realizing I never thought that those walks would end because she was going to die. It took 2 and a half years of those walks till she died at home. I am still amazed that thought of her death never crossed my mind during those walks. Although I did know she was terminal as are all with dementia. Anticipatory grief was very real for me then. Maybe it was just that it lasted for 5 years till she died. We have no children. I still live in the same house. 24 miles from town. I have a few friends up here, mostly alone now. I am getting out, forcing myself sometimes to stay mobile and not just sit and waste away. Acceptance and grief got better at the beginning of this year, easier to handle. At this moment it is tough again. Tough times are getting further apart. I can see that, but I wish the tough would end. Trying not to make grief the focus of my life and not push it away either. It is smoothing out. My job is helpful. I have my own business for 44 years now. Started working in the field in 1969, 55 years ago. Seems like it might just pan out ok. The guilt for having a happy time or day is tough but I am finding it less difficult as time goes on. I just keep telling myself, reminding myself, Linda would want me to go on. As I would want her to go on if it went that way. We did discuss this point years ago. Everyone, be sure to cover this point now, not later, with your family. Thanks for the opportunity to ramble on here. Be well.💖

This was really really reeeaaallly good!!! Thank you!

My deepest sympathies to you and your family. It is unconscionable that your mother-in-law did this to you. I am so sorry. 😢

You ARE a widow. And also ARE married. It is what it is. If peeps can’t understand that, or choose to split hairs, they can move along! I honor you and your journey. Thank you for sharing.

Cold cold cold

I wish this was louder. The topic is interesting but I can not here you very well😭😭 not sure if it was your mic

Just started watching this. Yes, please go to the ER for abdominal pain! I had a stomache and thought it was nothing. Went to ER and they admitted me. My appendix was rupturing! I had an appendectomy a month later. They found cancer in my appendix which caused it to rupture.

7 weeks out is called rebound. Not healthy. I was a widow for 8 years before I started to get my act together and it wasn't until after 13 years. I went out on a date of any kind of seriousness. Unfortunately, the person I started dating when I thought had been a widower for 10 years and had actually been a widower for only 5 months. True everybody's grieving process is individual but the point of it is you have to grieve. Perhaps I grieve too long. I kind of numbed out the man I dated on a more serious level. I've been the caretaker of his wife and he was sort of like a kid who was let out of school when she died on summer vacation. He didn't know what he wanted. He just knew he wanted to go out and date and had I known this I never would have gone out with him. He too said well. Grieving is a personal thing but again you have to grieve. It's sort of like putting your grief in a broom closet and locking the door. The thing of it is all those emotions are still there. You haven't dealt with them. So what when you open that closet door up again? All going to come surging out. You can't put it off. You have to grieve. With all that said he and I were in two different places in the process of grieving. I was on the end of it. I realize at some point this was as good as it was going to get. I went through the different steps so measuring time. Did I do these things before my husband died or after my husband died? Usually you do that timeline with movies when you see a movie and then you see the date the movie came out. Did we see this together and then after a while you kind of stopped doing that. He was at the beginning of the grieving process but actually he hadn't even started to grieve so I couldn't understand why he was the way he was. He was scattered. He was all over the place. He didn't know what he was doing half the time and I knew one thing. I didn't want to go back to that place where he was. I was at the other end of the tunnel and he, hadn't actually gone and taken one step into that tunnel and it is a dark dark place to go. But nevertheless you have to do it and he didn't. So I'm not going to go in particulars of what went down between us. Let's just say it was irreconcilable differences though and light choice.

Every morning I get up and list the many things I need to do to take care of myself. I make my bed, get dressed, wash my face, brush my teeth and my hair. Make something to eat and drink. All the basics. I spent too many years taking care of a sick husband, and neglected myself. He's been dead a year now and I'm taking care of my business.

I lost my husband on August 14th of this year and I don't know until when can I feel pain every day. From sunrise to sun down the pain is consistently excruciating. I don't know how to move forward. I don't mean to think about him but always he's in my head. I feel tired of myself crying and feeling so hopeless and lonely all the time. I honestly feel like I died with him.

Thank you this was very helpful ❤

Well, I feel like shit. My husband died August 26. The only saving grace that I can say is it at least he was here to hold my hand when I lost my son because if I had lost my son after my husband, I don’t think I could’ve done it without My husband.. My husband has been my rock for 33 yrs. I was worried about him anyways but he kept saying nothing is wrong but he had a heart attack right in front of me. I tried CPR and nothing.. I was afraid this would happen. But I am still in shock and I am lost. He has been the one who gave me a life that was worth living. And now I don’t even have him to tell about my day. I hate waking up.. I hate coming home and not seeing him sitting in his garage waiting on me to get home. I hate feeling like I am in constant verge of vomiting. So I have been grieving my son who was only 23 to now, my husband. How can I go on? Why do I want to? No I am not contemplating on unloving myself but I ask what is the point now? I feel despair and I keep praying and I am praying God will talk to me

My late husband deceased eight years ago I will miss his support I thank him he was the best for me!

My husband needed to resume dialysis. I was able thankfully to get him into the dialysis unit that I worked in. The dialysis unit is also part of a nursing home. Of course, the few times that he needed nursing home, rehab and care. She went to that nursing home. When I went back to work after he passed away (8 weeks ago today) I realized how difficult it is to walk into the building as a whole, be in the cubicle where he received his dialysis, and go up to the residential floors if I needed to speak to staff there. I cry every morning I walk in. And I had to tell my bosses that I cannot work there anymore. I’ll give them a couple of months to find a replacement but it can go on much longer.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience through this channel. I lost my wife of 33 happy years to cancer on 9/2/24 and I am barely able to breathe and get through each day. I cannot imagine (right now) surviving this and have no clue how to survive this, but one of the crutches for me that literally helps me eke my way through each day are your videos. They help so much--thank you! Also, I am so sorry for all you've gone and are going through. I hope my sharing how important and helpful your videos are to me helps you in real and meaningful ways. ❤

My husband died two months ago tomorrow. I have been looking at widow’s rings, but then I looked through an old jewelry box and I found one of my mother-in-law‘s wedding rings (she worked in Macy’s and would buy gold wedding rings for herself so she could switch off). She died a few years ago and now I’m wearing one of her rings on my left forefinger as a widow’s ring, from one widow to another.

I’m 63 years old. I have never known a widow, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, older coworkers, my mother, who ever took off their wedding rings unless they and remarried.

Absolutely brutal, but thank you so much for sharing such a painful memory. My wife of 33 years just passed away from stage IV breast cancer (earlier this month) and died, at home, under hospice care. Hearing your family's story is triggering. I just wonder how a surviving spouse survives such an event because right now I am just trying to claw my way through each day. The pain suffered by surviving spouses is real and intense. Your story gives me some desperately needed hope this is survivable, so thank you!

I Just became a young widow and can't rap my head around any of this. I've been listening to your channel trying to make sense of something. Thanks for your insight on all of this. Requested access to the group as well on Facebook.

Just became a young widow and can't rap my head around any of this. I've been listening to your channel trying to make sense of something. Thanks for your insight on all of this. Requested access to the group as well on Facebook.

My husband was on hospice for 20 days, at home. Probably 10 days he was lucid, then the pain got too intense, medicated to a state of sleep all the time.

People need to shut up. They’d never say it to your face. It’s like they get beer muscles.

i cut off all his friends after one of them made a nasty comment to me. havent seen them in over a year.

I am less than 2 months into my widowhood. My husband was on hospice for 20 days after withdrawing from dialysis. I feel raw and numb.

Leo, Are you still active here?

Before my husband died we had to sell our property. Then I had to clean out the house. I had help, but a lot of things I wanted to save disappeared.. I couldn't remember if I had eaten or showered. I couldn't sleep. Had the doctor prescribed a sleep aid. I'm a year out now and my brain is much better.

This was only a few minutes long and nothing about addiction to grief. Is it on another vid? It shows that it is to run for 29+ minutes.

I'm 2 weeks new to widowhood and you are 1 day new to me. I loved and hung on to every word you had to say. You even made me laugh twice, which surprised me. I liked and sub'd and will be marathoning your vids today. Thank you for such wise and smart words.

My husbands doggie was going downhill and could barely walk. We talked about putting her to sleep, but my husband said he just wasn't ready for that. Mind you, my husband was on hospice and dying. The day he died, i had to put our dog to sleep, she had suffered enough. So the two of them died the same day. I cried and cried!!! It was a very hard day for me!!!

I experienced some of the same things. 16 years together, on hospice, had stopped hemodialysis, knew he was dying. Absolute relief when he passed, one of my first thoughts was that he’d be suiting up for football (it was a Sunday). He was out of pain and he was well. Now just pain and sadness for the most part.

👍👍👍

I was looking at my wedding ring my jewelry box in my bedroom. Then I went in the kitchen and noticed the stovetop burner was on the strange thing was I didn't use the stove at all that day it was 90 degrees so that was interesting kinda scared me my husband passed away this year unexpectedly and I cried when I look at my husband clothes in the closet he was only 57 the stovetop burner that was on nobody was there but me that was strange

Thank you for this video; very informative and I can see I need to begin journaling. I've refused to do this because it has felt like the words staring back at me would be too raw and prompt too much sadness. However, now that I'm in my 16th month of grief for my husbands very sudden passing, I think journaling may be helpful. I've done daily journaling prior to his passing, regarding daily scripture reading, but when he passed I couldn't even open my Bible for the first 14 months! I was so mad at God and in utter shock. We knew he had cancer but the docs kept saying how lucky that they caught it in an early stage. However, after spending 2 1/2 months in the cancer hospital for various infectious complications, he suddenly took a turn and I was told he should be taken off the respirator in the next 1 to 2 days!

Yes, you know me and I'm so glad I found you. You're so on point at 8ish minutes in. It's been 10 weeks since my husband of 30 years died. I have done all the immediate things when I could barely think, but now am procrastinating about the semi-immediate tasks. I've also had the anticipatory grief for the last year and a half when my husband's cancer treatment wasn't tolerable and then 2 hospital stays after starting a new treatment and finally hospice. I'm going to join your Facebook group and look forward to your KZbin videos.

After 60 years of marriage my spouse “flew away” and I experienced every emotion exactly as you described! Especially feeling like I wasn’t acting like a grieving widow. It’s now been 3 1/2 years and no tears. My morning prayers end with singing One Day At A Time.

Ho Leo, I will always be a widow. I don't care what anyone says. I will always grieve for my husband. And I won't listen to folks who say I shouldn't be grieving!!!

❤❤❤