ARE YOU FORGETTING YOUR GRIEF DAYS? // One Happy Widow

[@OneHappyWidow]

Are you on autopilot?

[@lindamorse313]

I have journaled since the day my husband died - October 24, 2020. We wrote to each other a lot - from our teen years in the 1970’s, Marriage Encounter weekend, emails…now I write to my husband every day & tell him how I am, what I think, feel, everything. I start my day every day that way. I think it has saved me!! Only rarely have I gone back to read what I wrote - the pain is palpable & brutal. I’ve often written my feelings & if my husband & I were struggling over something we’d write to each other so it was natural. Journaling is also like meditation. Highly recommend. I cannot believe I just passed 3 years of my life without him. We met at 14 & 16, married at 18 & 20, had 44 years together. I miss him every day but also try to keep him proud of me.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I’m sure he is proud of you, and thank you for sharing your journaling experiences.

[@user-gm9cc1lw4t]

My husband died 4 years ago. His death was sudden. Ironically, my high school boyfriend lost his wife to cancer @ 3 months before my husband died and within 6 months, we were a couple. Different as night and day, but in some ways, very good together. Fast forward to now and he tells me that we are too different and he walked away. Honestly, I saw it coming, so I wasn't surprised. I will be ok, but in some ways, I think the grief of losing my husband is starting where it left off !!! Thank you for the comment of journaling. I have been writing things down for months.... mostly because I feel that people are just getting tired of hearing my sadness, my loneliness, my frustration with being alone. I don't think I am alone in my question of "why am I still here?"

[@OneHappyWidow]

Interesting way of seeing the journaling…thank you for sharing #widfam

[@user-gm9cc1lw4t]

@@OneHappyWidow I think I listened to almost all of your KZbin videos this weekend. I appreciate your honesty, but also your willingness to share your journey.

[@sherrycortese5856]

It's been 21 months for me & I ask daily why am I here? There is an abundance of things to do to keep busy. But why? What's the purpose? I realize now that my whole existence was wrapped up in trying to make my husband happy. He was never happy with me, but as long as he was alive, there was a chance that I could succeed. Sad.

[@naomiferreira8255]

Tomorrow the clocks “fall back” one hour and I don’t like it one bit. It’s a reminder that the holidays are fast approaching and that triggers my grief so I go on auto pilot to get through it. That and all the sadness in the world right now makes it harder.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Did you see the Hope for the Holidays Summit? It’s free, and will have tons of resources to help us all get through. Check out the FB group for the link!

[@lealugerlynch802]

I’m a widow of 2 years this month. I’m still on auto pilot. I don’t know how you did everything you did. You are amazing ❣️ It’s been almost 2 years not 2 days, not 2 weeks, not 2 months but 2 years. Sometimes it seems like yesterday. I know my grief has changed but it is still very hard. Very hard!

[@OneHappyWidow]

We just do what we have to do, most of it is not a choice. Take one day at a time, and win the day, sometimes I have to break it down into small bits like that.

[@susanswayngim1854]

Maybe I am on autopilot. At 2 years I’m still sort of numb. I really thought that part would go sooner than this. I find my mind is so overcrowded with thoughts that when I talk sometimes it comes out wrong. Like often. The people around me give me weird looks when I do that then I realize…oh crap those weren’t the words I meant. I don’t recall much of the first year at all either. I journaled the first few months and I know I’m definitely better than that now! So yes, journals are good.

[@OneHappyWidow]

So glad the journals are helping. Sounds like you might have some widows fog. Maybe seek out a therapist to discuss your communication struggles?

[@dorislacaze8475]

During that first year or so i lost weight because it was grief thats why i lost it because i wasn’t eating much and i was on auto pilot because i had things i had to do and kept myself from licking my self away from everyone and everything and bury mysefl in the grief, i would like to do that but i cant and my daughter and friends wouldn’t let me, and for that i am grateful.

[@dorislacaze8475]

I didnt journal then i wish i would have . And mabe i will start doing it. Thanks for your insight much love and prayers to you and your family

[@OneHappyWidow]

Don’t worry about the past, you can go ahead and start now!

[@gingerevans1346]

I journal on a daily basis. It helps. The second anniversary of David’s passing was on 8/29/24. I am able to expesome joy and I think he would want that for me. 💕

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks

[@tinajackson5450]

I’m still on autopilot.😢

[@OneHappyWidow]

Sometimes we just go through the motions because we have to.

[@christinawilliams2207]

This makes so much sense now l am so tired all l'm doing is going to and taking care of myself. My husband had cancer for 9 years.l took him to his appointments measuring his meds. Ordering his meds supplies for medical needs Preparing he's meals so he could eat while l'm working or running household errands.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching and sharing your story with us #widfam

[@susanbrennan5511]

Fourteen years ago my husband had a brain aneurysm. I spent a week with him after surgery had failed and he had a stroke. I kept him alive until our 2 sons could come home to say goodbye (they were both in college it was a week before Christmas.) They came home we said goodbye and he was gone after 24 wonderful years. I lost forty pounds. I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t cook something I loved to do for my family. Fourteen years later I am still on autopilot. I still cook occasionally but my sons now have their wives. I gained back some weight tried online dating and decided I would never find what I had had. I also cared for my aging mother for 5 years and now I’m very happy just being alone. I survived and moved on and that’s enough. I still miss him every day.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching and sharing your experiences.

[@KarlBrkr]

I’m 6 months widowed and since the 1st week I started just walking every day. First 4 blocks, then 1 mile. Now I’m up to 3.3 miles per day. EVERY day. I target heart rate of 120-165 with watch monitor, so I jog and walk to target the heart rate. Plus eat as good as you can. Lost 15 lbs in 4 months extra. Walking really help. Good luck! 👍

[@OneHappyWidow]

I need to start walking for sure! My eating is on point, but at this point, diet alone is not getting me anywhere. I did walk the dog for about 15 min during my lunch break yesterday…visited the donkeys, got some sun and fresh air. Maybe that should be my daily routine

[@KarlBrkr]

yes I started it as my therapy to get out of the empty house. Smell the fresh air, hear the birds, or listen to music. Now I look forward to it when I get home from work. Have to make it a routine. Good luck. I’m also dating online because of you. Went on two dates this week and have another tomorrow with the same girl from Sunday. Good family values, good heart. You pushed me to start. Thank you. It’s a new chapter as they say.

[@swysocki3920]

It's called "Widow Brain". It's very common.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Yes, I did another video about this too! This video mostly talks about blocking out old Memories. Widow Brain is more of a present-day fog where you feel absent minded and can’t concentrate as well. But they are both related to grief!

[@kbenton8609]

I did use writing to get thru this mess. Going back and reading the things I wrote, I do see the differences in then and now. Another thing I like to do is share some of the things that I wrote so others can see that they are not alone in these feelings.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Great idea!

[@nancys.100]

I got a prayer journal at the thrift shop today!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Awesome!

[@loriramminger222]

I moved to a condo 5 months after Richie passed. I don’t remember how I did it all. I wish I would of did a Journal

[@OneHappyWidow]

Try starting one now! Www.onehappywidow.com/journal

[@barbaraingram5147]

He will be gone 10 years in May. I must say there are low times but my heart feels lighter and the sad times are less. I was retired and didn't have young children to raise so my experience with grief is different.😮

[@OneHappyWidow]

This is the case for me too. 7 years almost, and the grief is not as intense, but always there.

[@sharonwatkins9249]

I lost my husband, 1/1/2022, i think i still on autopilot?;Its been so hard to keep going? But, i have my 17yr old son that gives me that extra push i need at times.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Sometime our children are what motivate us to keep going!

[@lynhead52]

9 months out-a lot days still auto pilot . I've had a lot of project. I need a vacation.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I hear you!

[@jericamcbride3659]

This Widow's fog is a hot mess.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Yes I agree!

[@patloguidice]

I am new to this channel, how do I join the support chat I have heard mentioned? I am not on Facebook. Thanks

[@OneHappyWidow]

Our main is FB, but you can get in the mailing list for updates on the other resources I’m releasing this summer. Visit www.onehappywidow.com/journal to grab a free template and sign up for the email list.

[@jennebeattie3168]

❤

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching

[@independent-network.]

I couldn't find your Facebook group

[@OneHappyWidow]

Www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow

[@shellycaris6087]

But it’s getting fat off your organs which is important and the weight is not the factor it’s the reduction in body mass. Your body is downsizing

[@OneHappyWidow]

I keep trying to tell myself that, but I’m not seeing much change in my clothes or anything. I can usually tell in my face, too…and I don’t see it there either. This week I’ve been losing some, so maybe I’m about to go into a state of losing for a bit! With carnivore, they say you heal first, then lose. Maybe I’ve been healing for 6 months lol.

[@shellycaris6087]

@@OneHappyWidow I read our bodies like a certain weight and we will stall and at some point if we don’t give up we readjust and our bodies metabolism kicks back in. But I did the best following Dr Berg and I ate the coniferous veggies. Lots of cabbage. And 6-8 cups of green spinach and other baby green salad a day

[@kgb2905]

Stop moaning go out out AND GET IT DONE🥰

[@OneHappyWidow]

Right?

[@kgb2905]

@@OneHappyWidow IT IS NOW AND HERE THAT MATTER,NOT THE PAST THAT WILL NEVER BE AGAIN

[@ppw8716]

Hi I just found your channel. Lost my husband less than 4 months ago with bile duct Ca also. 🥹😓😭 I feel so lost and alone. Being on autopilot is the only way to survive 1 day at a time. Have to force myself to eat, but swallowing the food is difficult.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I’m so sorry #widfam. I know how tough that journey can be.