This... This was the beginning of my recovery. Now it's clear! I used avoidance as a coping mechanism not because I'm lazy or what not; but because I was wired up to be in a double bind whenever effort came into play. After 3y suffering in college, it was you that made me wake up. Thank you so much!! It was an internalized coping mechanism for my own survival. Since my childhood I was constantly dismissed and played down by my family (except for my father, whom was too preocupied looking at himself at the mirror to even notice). So here comes the double bind: If you don't do, you loose. If you do, you put effort and still loose (ps, this one hurts way more than beign labeled as incapable, which is far from the truth and you know it). Anyway, this led even for my self isolation tendency as soon as someone starts to disimss my ideas or play me down. It also hurts so bad that I'm incapable of accepting a compliment (as in my head this means that person wants something from me, a relique from the conditional love I know so well). Thank you so much!!!!

Do abusers do all this knowing what they are doing?

Isak is Jason Alexander

6:02 This thing looks like a grid RPG where the two on the right are about to drop a major combined attack on everyone

This is a fucking good video and should get a lot more views

But late to the party here but I will say that I have another possible interpretation of the essence of the story of Adam and Eve. I see it maybe be represented as you say in the bible. But I essence what I heard was- god created this world for us with free will. We can do what we want except destroy it. That is- the idea is we signed a contract before we came here that should we do that our free will will be intervened with. People have understood this to be a specific thing- things like splitting atoms and Nuclear wars. Are humans so ego centric we think that god first have boundaries? That we can egnore those boundaries and not face consequences? This is just a perspective and I appreciate yours more as a critique of how this story has been misrepresented than as anything that relates to creation as such.

Great post

For years I watched my Mother become seriously ill after a breakdown in her earlier life. Miss diagnoses and treatments actually made her seriously unwell. She took on everyone's suggestions as her own, spent most of her life asking permission to live. She was terrified of everything and everone. I as a child was sent to church she became the happy clapper for a while until she couldn't do it anymore and then slept the day through ignoring the world, She suffered electic shock treatment various other systems of what I look at as extremely abusive but were thought in those times to be the cure. She was commited into what was known in those days as asylums, as a child I watched her have a cigerette ripped from her mouth to the point it tore her lip and slapped by another residing there as a patient, It was hurendous. She should never have been in there. We are all human and even those in authority may have it wrong, questioning should always be open and we should always be aware of the importance of reflection and change. My mother was terrified of doctors and people in authority. Looking back I believe she also had long term ptsd along with what ever else she picked up she was also someone who lacked personal boundaries they had been broken in every way. She suffered a breakdown for a reason, the reason was distorted into a mirriad of others beliefs on how to fix her in processes that totally destryed her. She had no support what so ever a controlling husband who had his own problems and misguided undersdandings not a bad man but his behaviour was accepted because it was unseen, an over disiplinarian and a bully at times but someone who in the last couple of years in his life was starting to undersdand the error of his own ways. Its a reminder to fully be aware and understand influence. The power of influence and what it can make us do and the responsibility of those in hirachical positions. These posts are so important for those who support others to be aware of our own vulnerabilities to be swayed our own unconscious biases, there are alot of grey areas. I fell more than once into others opinions due to a personal fear or a trigger the them and us thing lurks within myself too I too got behind some beliefs that were not myself during religious seeking and looking into that was a real eye opener. When a threat is positioned in front if us who do we become? Knowing those areas isn't easy but necessary, im not a psychiatrist or entering that field but the posts have been valuable through my own introspection and personal development. How do we know what we don't know, nuances are tricky. Thank you for sharing appreciate the lack of dramatic music, its nice just having speach.

As a muslim, I think people should tell the difference between straight up being racist or critical and just stating your own views and ideas.

Thank you so much for this video, it's validating.

Just.. thank you.

💗

Drug addiction red flag

20:20 yeah sorry buddy I have every right to say who sleeps where in my house and if someone disagrees I’ll be charging them rent. lol

AMAZING

This gave me a great sense of peace to where I just felt like crying, not because I was sad, but because I’ve needed to hear this my entire life. Thank you

Being an only child is understandable as a red flag im sorry

good video

Thank you so so much for bringing clarity to the subject

One of the fake ex muslims who was in a group of fake ex muslims in a social media platform stated she didn't want to do fasting,then I wrote if she was truly sincere (which I doubt she wasn't a fake ex muslim) she would do fasting no matter what. Also the fact that muslims have to eat suhoor meals first before fasting and the fact that if the place a muslim lives in has very long fasting hours then that muslim can follow Mecca's time of breakfasting after fasting for several hours are what make no excuse in fasting.

When someone sees what they think is a red flag and views and treats a person from that perspective they fall into confirmation bias. Being treated like you’re displaying red flag behavior when you mean well and sincerely aren’t being manipulative can drive you crazy. Trying to call it out only makes you seem more manipulative - this could be seen as gaslighting (?).

I found at least one group in a social media platform which has so many fake ex muslims. They can't even read Quran in arabic with good makhraj and tajweed. Why would I believe them and now you? 😂

Cheer~~~the state or fact of being organized in a tribe or tribes.😊

Love is a drug

Ive been terrified of perpetuauting the abuse i experienced as a child in my serious adult relationships. I can feel myself slipping into it and i need to stop

Massage therapist are not people pleasers. We fix back pain. Narcs hate us.

I identify with all these examples and a former long time partner stated I was being manipulative and abusive. I didn't see it. I do now. I want to believe I've never had ill intent. That I'm not a bad person. But I am sorry. Got to get to work.

Such a valuable video. Thank you!

Are you sure Parinder wasn’t a Sikh?

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This is a beautiful piece of work

This was amazing thankyou 🙏

0:04 Trauma: fully fragmented 0:20 Processing trauma: connections start to get formed 0:29 First glimpses of psychological healing: healthy 'tissue' i.e. outlooks, begin to form. 0:40 Healing progresses: direct manifestation of trauma (the flashes) largely gone. 0:57 Positive stances solidified: body robust and changing in color. 1:15 Immediate healing complete: a stronger sense of self, but 'jagged edges' remain. 1:44 Long-term healing complete: the edges get smoothed over and a 'more full' body emerges. 1:50 Personal growth: the healing allows personal growth as symbolized by green, 'filling up' what was missing. 2:22 Full healing complete: a 'fully upright,' robust, confident and strong sense of self is finally established. 2:43: Optimism: healing allows for an optimistic outlook on life. 3:02: Transcendence: a deeper consideration of life. 3:26 Reflection: on how far you've come.

I recently left religion after my purgatory experience. Thank you for being one of the cogs in understanding what drove me there in the first place. I'm on the path of my authenticity before all stuff was added from my life long experiences.

i think the reason criticizing islam is so difficult is because muslims are indeed discriminated against. there is a lot of prejudice against muslims and of course prejudice is never okay. but because the muslims are already an oppressed group, people think that we are not allowed to criticize them because it almost seems like we’re contributing to the prejudice. this is why it is important to distinguish between prejudice and criticism. muslims should not be inherently treated differently due to their beliefs. but the beliefs themselves are absolutely subject to criticism because they certainly contain harmful ideas.

This is such good information.

I wonder how many female red flags are ignored by men due to a gender difference perception. A "women are just that way" idea.

I will definitely be rewatching this again. Thank you for sharing.

Most of the times people online forget that nobody's perfect and someone may have reasons for being the way they are. If you don’t notice consistent patterns of behaviours and if the other person isn't trying to hurt you you don't need to go slander them online. So many people not trying to know and understand each other and being quick to judge and make assumptions is the reason we're so isolated nowadays.

Thank you for sharing this is such a great post and so valuable. I'm grateful to have come accross this 👍

This is such a smack in the face for anyone who innocently wants to be part of a tribe or group. We are connective people and value connection this can lead one to be drawn partly for the need to belong, blindly without having awareness only seeing, what's on the surface. We must firstly remind each other of respect and what it means it's the first step to recovery and understanding what respect is and how it shows up to them for others and themselves. Thank you for sharing. This is so good regarding mothers too.

A very thoughtful treatment of this topic. I'd also say it works in a broader societal way too. For example, the blindness that overcomes people when they deal with professionals in white coats, politicians, "office holders", the media etc etc. The outright abuses perpetrated by some of those, especially over the last few years, ought to give some people pause for thought on how they view these agents now and in the future.

Pretty sure the child talking with toys is developmentally normal. Regardless of projection going on, I wouldnt call the child a narc. Unless.. that was the point of a comparison. The narc is basically a child w toys…

YWS

Funny you guys don't know pagan arabs buri ed alive their baby especially if their baby was a girl. So yeah the prohet and islam are bad for forbidding it and other atrocities.

Go ahead following rules based on your head. Perhaps one day you'll agree with cheating on your spouse with many women because both of you are polyamorous. Perhaps one day you'll agree with you can fondle your closely blood related relatives. Etc. Because you think they're not wrong.

this is beautiful and life changing, thank you

Whew. ❤ This channel. ❤️🥰

This is sick, thank for sharing.

It's good that you use the word 'targets' instead of 'victims'. That's good