It's a delight to hear heleniká, aside from reading the New Testament.

Even though I am ignorant of this beautiful language, I can still watch and support you 🙏❤️

Very descriptive video. I am the oldest girl of 8 children, and definitely was my mother's target supply/emotional caregiver. She is covert and good at hiding it from even other family members. My dad is the kind who goes along with her because he "doesn't want trouble", though he's almost as bad. Neither parent I've felt comforted by or close to...I was able to be comforted by others outside the family, and just thought that was a defect of my own, and was told that many times by her and my dad saying things like: - I was too emotional - I was too sensitive - I expected too much - I was whiny, needy, and a crybaby so i needed to figure that out because that's why no one wanted to be around me - I needed thicker skin - I didn't know what I wanted - They didn't know what else I wanted from them because there was nothing else they could do for me - I couldn't explain myself properly - I was accusing them so of course they didn't want to be around me - That I invested more in my friends and outside life and that's why my family relationships were poor - That I wanted too much - I had an imaginary idea of what parents do or parenting responsibilities that didn't exist and needed to adjust my expectations - If I would just help more then mom/dad wouldn't be so angry/frustrated/mean -That being bullied at school/home was my fault for not shrugging it off or standing up for myself -That I didn't understand what it's like or what it means to be a parent or an adult, but someday I would get it. 🤮🤮🤮

Need relief ….. 😢

These are often the nice little old ladies who appear sweet and considerate but they have no visitors especially when they go into care. The people around them are lead to believe that the kids are selfish and neglectful as they are being manipulated by an expert victim who wouldn’t hurt a fly 😇#covertnarcmothers

My main problem is I live at home and have no other place to go, I can't ask friends to stay with them and certainly can't afford my own place, or even a hotel as I've been unemployed for a very long time, I just want to be free of her control and I fear I'm going to suffer very lasting and serious mental effects soon, the debilitating pain from every time she tries to control me gets worse and worse to wear I feel worthless, I just wish I could have some relief but they're around all the time, I try to do the disengaging and walk away when she's berating me but she just follows me, she feels that I need to hear her every thought but if I try to say anything she does she gaslights and flips out and tries to blame me for everything, its so exhausting😔

Because I always felt like an orphan I actully once had the guts to ask my mother if I had been adopted, because she ( and my father too but he was more absent) was very pleased to treat me differently from my brothers, in an inferior way.

How can a narcissist mom die faster my mom is making my life hell.....she needs to go

O my lord, Sorry for the pain you are enduring, I am going through the same things So i know how much it hurts deep down. Hang in there 😥

All my life has been trauma and dealing with narcissist Family and friend. In those impressional years of my growing up, I was punished for staying quiet and saying "i dont know what to say" Therefore I am labeled as not able to communicate and I was told I need to speak up. Not one of family or so called friends has remained in my life. Counseling didn't help, church pastors didn't care. I dont talk to anyone anymore because I know they will also think I sm hiding something. People dont like quiet people, so these vermin idiots pressed me long enough to the point where I don't care anymore about them. I crave connection with people like I crave Thai food but I know I will always be alone and quietly dying no one will know I am gone.

Aren’t all relationships dysfunctional… by degrees 😂I have a disabled sibling (among other relationships) that is a mean SOB - if I don’t take care of him, he will die. It majorly sucks. I am the kiss ass in all of my relationships. It’s just easier. On the other hand, I just worked with a woman who is the meanest, evil bastard - absolutely no grace or decency. No thanks to that. Lately, I have yearned to just be away from people.

Speaking my truth, speaking the truth has rendered me so guilty. It's so unfair. Just saying the truth i feel like I'm betraying family, yet they have betrayed me my whole whole life.

Thank you for speaking out about this. I've suffered depression my whole life while going from one self-silencing relationship to another. I'm not a caretaker, I am a conflict avoider. I live in fear of being thrown out of relationships. After my last break up over 20 years ago, I've been mostly on my own taking care of myself. I've been slowly finding my voice, speaking out, and finding people appreciating what I have to say. Lately, though, I've also found people who want to shut me up again, and the temptation is to go back to the familiar, especially in family circles. I was actually yelled at by my dil so badly last summer that I had to escape their house at midnight and make the long trip home in the dark. She was angry with me for talking frankly with my 8 year old granddaughter about life. I am clueless about how to make that right, so I've avoided going back there. Additionally, an elderly man in my church who desires to be in charge has told me that women are supposed to be silent in church, which means to him that they must not share their views concerning Biblical doctrines, especially when they disagree with him. So there's no point in going to Bible Studies anymore if that's the case, which makes me want to leave my religion. All this to say that I'm finding my world getting smaller again as the people around me attempt to silence me, because this inevitable means the loss of more relationships, leaving me alone and depressed once again in the world.

This one really hits home as I was raised in a narcissistic religious trauma- inducing family.

You perfectly described my family growing up with 3 girls and 1 boy!

I was constantly told I was selfish by my mother's partner. Most of the time I didn't know what I did (or hadn't done.) I think two times at least I hadn't done a chore he (supposedly) told me to do. Every day, I was told I was selfish, that I didn't care about anybody but myself, and that I never thought of anybody but myself. He would scream at me: "Why don't you think of somebody else for a change?" (Once he screamed this because I put an oven tray on top of his laptop- that he had left on top of the oven! So I just put the oven tray on top without thinking.) I don't know how selfish I actually was. On reflection, he was a very narcissistic person who was in general just a very miserable guy. He would complain about everything and was always angry or upset about something. When I say most of the time I didn't know what I did, I mean it- sometimes I'd just walk into a room and he'd be there ready to rant and rave at me. Like, maybe in his mind I'd done (or hadn't done) something, but it was rarely communicated what it was. I did go into, particularly when I became a teenager, this mentality of "I'm going to be yelled at no matter what I do, so I might as well do whatever the hell I want." So I hid in my room most of the time, didn't really do any household chores, and even started stealing. I'd also set traps in the house just to piss off my mum's partner, like taking his things from the bathroom. I also didn't eat proper meals (mostly unhealthy snacks) except for dinner and didn't shower or brush my teeth. I was completely depressed and rarely slept for more than three hours at a time, just in constant fear of him. (This was between the ages of around 11 and 16. When I was 16 my mum left and her partner kicked me out of the house.) Again, I don't know how selfish I actually was as a child, but it definitely didn't help or change any inconvenient behaviour to constantly scream at me and call me selfish.

Don't, just don't get involved with such scum They are indeed the worst of both NPD and BPD The lies, cheating, manipulation, abuse and so on.....keep them far away from you

Profound info here - phew!

Never thought of it that way 😮

Too many 'good girls' have ended up suppressing their true selves in relationships. YES! So many women suffer with autoimmune disorders and cancer! Many women aren't even aware they are doing this! thank you!

Im 57 and my mother was a type 1 diabetic.... she would tell everyone she could that i was adhd and a problem child . She had ME sent to a children's home at 12 to quote get me help. 3 months there, they said there was nothing wrong with me, and I needed to go home. At 15 I was acting out alot at this point so she had me hospitalized... the doctor told me that I was acting out only when I was around her ,so he started observing her in therapy. He told her that it was her behavior causing the reactions. That didn't go over well. I went home but before I left the hospital he told me to move out as soon as I was able to. I did at 17. The mental gymnastics didn't stop until I was 34 and cut her off. She died 6 months later. I had no idea the peace I found afterwards. I loved her but she was completely bat!@it . I only started to truly thrive and live happily after she passed.

Why does it take years im suffering effects for years first goin thru pain of it den running from it living n survial mode n mow fully broken sometimrs i find it so hard to actually stand up

I only had an abuse relationship first with my mother her to me and den a partner same traits 30 years later never met what i should have met healthy loving normal i grieve daily theres so much loss n pain over her decisions to abuse me from age of 3

Thank you very much

My husband‘s mother‘s always been so jealous and antagonizing. He doesn’t see the problem but I do. Creepy and disgusting!!

I was told I do not listen and I over think . "Then when I catch a lie" it was you do not listen to me! I never said that! see you are overthinking again .

My mum fucked my life up, never encouraginge me to go for anything or do anything, always discouraging me, you shouldn't be there, that's not for you, you don't need that etc. Her and my dad did absolutely nothing to help prepare me for adult life, kept me dependent on them. In a normal country that wouldn't be too bad but i live in shitty UK, it is very difficult to earn decent money or find somewhere to live, it's a very difficult society to achieve mobility and independence

I am a golden child. Behind closed doors my mum criticises me, tells me all my endeavours will fail, discourages me, ignores are requests for emotional support when the going gets tough. I succeed in spite of her, then she sends people my pics showing me off as if she didn't try to sabotage me

I constantly try to figure out why other people are how they are and why they do what they do😂 it’s exhausting and doesn’t help very much . Idk if that’s the same or similar to what your describing

Thank you so much ❤

When people have numbed out their feelings due to trauma. They have a bias against awareness of feelings. Which starves the senses. The process of accepting the trauma, will help them to focus on the reemergence of feelings in the body ...

It’s a hard no from me.

Athena I love your videos and I’m binge watching them! I have a question. My partner I began my relationship with just short of 2 years ago and I came into the relationship with some debt and he began to show me his fears of that and he obsesses about me working a lot but then if I work a lot he tries to pull me out of it by saying that I need more sleep or he misses me and I shouldn’t work that much, and he’s trying to keep me motivated to not get a second job saying that I will definitely get more hours at my current job but I know that even in the summer there will be less hours so I think I intuitively picked up on that before even knowing. But he obsesses about money even to the point where he ignores my health if I need time off and makes it a big problem if I need to take time off for being sick. But he will say things that very much contradict his behaviour about these things or things that he says. I have thought about getting a second job and then paying things off and setting myself up in my own place as this whole relationship something hasn’t felt right about him. Do you think I could be right that he falls in the category of a narcissist? Do I need more information?

My partner never seems to me that he feels my feelings or is actually being empathetic. He always will say he understands but there’s always a “but” after it and as soon as you mentioned “cognitive” I knew and the lightbulb went off because I always feel that he is very logical when it comes to feelings except when it’s about animals. Like he will feel very sympathetic towards animals but hates people he says. But it would just be nice to have my partner be sympathetic and be able to understand feelings when they aren’t his own. I am struggling because he is my rock when I’m not depressed or in the realizing phase.

I just thought about this the other day how my step father (after my mom left to go to another city to work) he forced me to clean up a kitchen full of ants when I was terrified of seeing the pile of ants and I recalled this event yesterday thinking this seems like a job for a parent to do not a way to teach a kid to face their fears.

I’m now 29 going on 30 and my mom called me selfish and disrespectful because my partner and I can only go see her on Christmas Day as Boxing Day is our day as a couple which we’ve chosen because we work a lot and would like a full day to spend on our relationship and do our shopping we do with the Boxing Day deals. I was asking her if we could come over on Christmas Day. She first said that the conversation was too much drama and then called me those things and said that she isn’t going to make an extra Christmas event just for me. I didn’t see it as an extra Christmas event, just us spending time on Christmas Day and she was only projecting her own selfishness on me because she wanted everyone to see her kids showing up on Boxing Day as if were this happy close family when we really aren’t because she never actually speaks to us or spends time with us for months or years. Only actually plans stuff with the big step family on Xmas and other holidays and then hardly talks to us when we’re there.

Ωραία έκπληξη. Χαίρομαι που θα ακουστείς και από συμπολίτες μου που δεν γνωρίζουν αγγλικά.❤

I only realized this year at age 46 that my mother kicked me out when I was 16 because she thought that I would not be able to succeed. She thought that I would fail and crawl back. She is and was never prepared that I wouldn't be diminished by her removing me from her life.

My narcissistic mother died this morning. I feel NOTHING. I cried because of my teenage brother and the difficult time he's having. But I feel absolutely nothing for her.

My mother is a covert Nacissist person and for 12 years after my marriage, me and my wife lived in a joint family. Now we have moved to another city. When we look back we realise my mother always had her things going behind the scene with my 8 yr younger sister and me and my wife were just persons who had to do all the outside and in house work and own all responsibilities. One tactics she always played is that she always crafted conversations in such a way that we said what she wanted us to do. Now after doing so much, when we moved out, she blames us for not owning responsibilities. And when we try to say we did such and such, she says I never asked you to do it. You did by own will.

Im grateful i found you here. Im newly divorced from this. I could never make sense of his behaviors until i realized what he is. When he blindsided me & left for his coworker, He found great pleasure in inflicting pain upon me

Im now divorced from this mommys boy coward. He kept separate realations with her the majority of 13 years. Once he allowed her around, he then left me for his coworker

They will never feel the pain they put you through because your feelings aren't important to them. They didn't make you feel anything. That was your choice to make yourself miserable.

I’m 41 and just now understanding what has happened to me. In therapy now to address the destruction my mother’s behaviors and actions did to me as a child. I’m angry now as I process through it. I went through many terrible relationships, lived a life of confusion and extreme self doubt. I can’t change the past but looking forward to healing for my future.

I’m 41 and just now understanding what has happened to me. In therapy now to address the destruction my mother’s behaviors and actions did to me as a child. I’m angry now as I process through it. I went through many terrible relationships, lived a life of confusion and extreme self doubt. I can’t change the past but looking forward to healing for my future.

I see a lot of these traits in some of my family, but in each case I can think of, they go hand in hand with years of neglect & abuse from family members who *don't* have these traits & were never held accountable for anything. I don't know about cases where there is no identifiable cause, but it seems like recovery should be possible for people who can trace it back to past trauma, bc there are already so many methods of dealing with trauma 🤷‍♀️

Mine is very covert and her mask is screwed on highly. She prefers to hide in her room and scroll through TikTok all day or eat noisily in the living room. She only interacts with people for the sole purpose of deceiving them that she’s a good person. She did extremely sadistic things to her children. I called her out on her behavior before I went NC and I’m glad I did. Abusive parents do not deserve praise or empathy.

My mother is 86 yr old, and she is a full blown Narcissist, who’s always in competition with me, if I say “A” she says “B”. It’s sad to say, but I will no longer engage in a conversation with her. If she ask a question I will answer, but that’s it. The older she gets the worse she gets. I’m sick of her.