Thank you, Athina. I tried to approach my mother about emotional abuse (once I realized what that was), but she didn't even want to recognize how she had hurt me and she said she didn't want to change. It was devastating feeling that I had to give up hope that she would ever change or be the mother I needed, but that also gave me the courage to let go. I'm still grieving the loss and I'm feeling it really hard, right now, which is why I sought another video on the subject. And yes, I'm still working on reparenting and addressing the food addiction and other addictive tendencies that I had taken on. And all the rest...I'm still working on that, too. It's a process. Great questions, by the way. They really get to the heart of how this kind of relationship can affect a person and how they show up, as an adult. Thank you for creating this. Blessings! - Claire

🎯My life experience in a 6+ minute video

My mother sabotaged me so many and then twists it, her sick narative is whats important. She has ruined her childrens lives. My sister is dead because of her bullshit my older brothers entire life was swallowed up whole. He was a sports star athete but she made him THE WHALE and his development is so arrested. Hes not fit for public consumption. She makes her sons weak n useless and she makes her daughters whores. She talked my private business with people for attention. she sabotaged my entire life until, God showed up and miraculously delivered me. She abused her faith, used it as a tool to drive confusion in. She made God seem ugly and horrible. She is way i was athiest almost all my life. Im so mad at her and frusterated so i lay at my lords feet 🙏

71% of Children Killed by One Parent are Killed by Their Mothers; 60% of Victims are Boys

I believe my mother could be a covert narcissist, but I think I (daughter) am the only one who ever saw the worst bits. I could write so much, & ask a few questions but, honestly, I find it too triggering. If I said this to others, they would scorn me. I can’t even listen to the whole thing.

Thank you for this video, I'm 57 and my mother has ignored me forever. It's refreshing to hear that I'm not alone. She's in her 80s and is still like this. I've decided not to put up with her sh!t any longer. Didn't know this was a thing, she just ignores me, no criticisms or insults, or abuse. Just zero emotional support. Weird woman.

My childhood was spent being my mom’s free therapist though I was only allowed to listen, not reply. Sometimes for hours at a time she’d go on describing in great detail all the people that have wronged her and the intricate details of their betrayal, especially my dad. Sure she picked an overt/neglectful/bpd narc for a husband, and there wasn’t ever anything he did right. Perfect behavior and performance was expected from me at all times even while they made mistake after observable mistake. It was made clear to me early on that good children are quiet and obedient so I kept my thoughts, worries, and experiences to myself and they didn’t go out of their way to pull out any of it. I have no recollection of any hugs or comforting thoughts when I was upset, in fact, they would add to my pain by diminishing my concerns or mocking me. As an adult, i only called them with good news (still trying to win their approval which was never given) but they never remembered or followed up on anything that I shared in future conversations. Also, i was much happier when i went loooong periods wo talking to them but then I would feel guilty and subject myself to more of their self absorbed chatter and invalidation of me. I’ve since gone no contact with them both but my younger sister now takes care of mom and I am trying to keep our relationship alive but it’s not easy with mom triangulating.

I dated someone who was a daydreamer..he was very intense in his texting promising me being a family whereas when we met in person everything was just flat...I felt for the guy from the text msgs and at some point he said he had a mental check up and mentioned escapism but at that point I didn't understand it well until I got hurt

I still do it. In my 50s. Times in my life where i say i dont when busy family/projects, but even then use to design and strategize. Can distracting and addictive. Hard to explain to people.

This is so spot on for me. Everything. My husband described my mom as an alien with a human suit on pretending to be human. My dad was very abusive to us all, but she would not divorce under any circumstances. She played the victim with him and since he passed, my sister slid right into his place as the angry partner who abuses my mother so she can be the victim and get her supply. It’s so twisted! She has everyone believing that she is the victim of an abuser when she is actually the architect of the whole dysfunctional dynamic.

I still maladaptive daydream ppl would call me crazy but I will create realities & act them out in my room. With no one around. It looks like I’m talking to myself but I act out the characters. I did it to escape the pain at home

Yes, this explains my experiences as a child. Daydreaming was my escape from the emotional pain brought on by my Narcissistic mother coupled with being an only child and isolated in the countryside. Your explanation hits the mark, and explains the why. Thank you for addressing this. I’m hearing about this for the very first time, and I’m in my 70’s! I did, fortunately “outgrow” my daydreaming in young adulthood when I began living independently in another city.

Thank you! My mother said to me when I was a teenager: “Why aren’t you like other girls?” I’m 62, people-pleaser all my life, with a viscous inner-critic still tormenting me. On a healing path now. Lost marriage. Lost recent romantic relationship. Both covert narcissists. Estranged from my son. Completely alone. Isolating and finding it very hard to trust people. Most people take advantage of me. Still trying to find joy and happiness, mostly in nature. Your videos are very helpful. ❤

This is my mother. It’s enough to make your head spin🤯

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Thank you for sharing from your own experience. Much appreciated!

This was familiar area for me. My mother realized she really didn't like me as soon as my personality started to show. I reminded her of the two people she hated with gusto 😛 (mother and sister in law) My dad wasn't allowed to intervene with us children. He belonged to her, and we had no right to him. She tought us he was pathetic and ridiculous for good measure. She also told adults around me I was a bad egg and they shouldn't encourage me. (I never knew, I was too young, but my granny's sister told me when I was an adult) So I was emotionally ignored, and very often physically ignored too. I definitely have autistic traits. Amatumeur therapist me think we need social interaction to develope our intricate nervous systems. This made me socially awkward to say the least, and I took everything literally. I still do when I'm nervous. Also my brain went into emergency functioning, it partially shut down, or rather; parts of it went on stand by mode. I have read this can happen. So I made a fool out of myself again and again. And I was bullied. When I grow up I married my mum, or rather, a man I felt despised me. It felt a lot more secure than kindness. I can't recall all friends that have left me for being off, weird, embarrassing and/or boring. (Security addict) I thought I was passed this by now, but a very very good friend left me just recently and I didn't even get why, and that was horrible! Amateur therapist me tells me she had probably given me hint after hint after hint that half autistic me didn't catch up on. Abandonment trauma is the story of my life 😬👍👍

My mother is so hard on the inside. She only has time for her oldest and only son Scott. After Scott was born, my twin sisters arrived. two years later.? I was born six years after my brother Scott, and four years later after my two sisters.i

My mother is absolutely insane. Always causing drama and cussing about everything then quotes Bible.

This is my parents’ dynamic exactly. His mom was awful as well. Thank you for this information. 🙏🏽

Thank you, im a teen and i suffer from cptsd, I am all aware about your vids, it makes me feel less guilty of my behaviours.

Mine used psychological warfare to prevent me travelling far or staying away from home. I had anxiety and fear over nothing. They are insidious and it can take years of therapy to heal the nervous system

NM is driving me CRAZY. She is getting older and needs constant admiration, being the loudest person in the room, Expecting thank yous for stuff I never asked her to do. Passive aggressive love bombing and hyper critical BS. I am gonna have a flipping stroke!!

I'm 25. Still live at home. (Thanks 2024 economy.) Emotionally-abusive mother still tries to manipulate me. I'm autistic. At this point I'm not sure if the signs are FROM years of abuse, or I've been undiagnosed deliberately. Mom says I got tested "as a baby and they didn't find anything". Dude I was born three months premature. I'm already fucked from the get-go. Having an unsafe household + birth circumstances + autistic don't mix very well. I've slowly regressed back to certain life stages...trying to "find" my broken childhood and fix what's there... The bluey shit and stuffies surrounding me don't help enough. I want out. I want AWAY.

Thank you for this, I have a cptsd and it comforts me to know that at least it's not my fault for being a burden.

Thank you so much for dissecting this issue and sharing your wisdom. I only just realized that I haven't allowed myself to feel relief at my mother's passing. I was focusing on sadness, guilt, and the lack of resolution I've felt. I have a new tool.

Thank you, Athina! I'm in my mid-40's and I feel like I'm just getting started, in a lot of ways. I'm still working to heal my body from developing an eating disorder and obesity, because of childhood abuse. I was homeless for 11 years, because I couldn't support myself, with complex PTSD and a spinal condition. I do have housing, now, which is great, but I'm very dependent on the government and I feel incredibly vulnerable about that. I do feel that I'm way behind others and it is sad. But, I'm also grateful that I only have my care to be concerned about. I had to let go of my mom, because it was clear that she expected me to take on the burden of her ill health and I had my hands full, just trying to heal myself. I could no longer bear her toxicity, so I've done what I can to distance myself. And I'm working on building a business that I can hopefully support myself with. But, I feel that it's slower going than I'd like, even just to get solid on my direction. I just had to let go of a new therapist, because it seemed that she was trying to pull me in a direction that wasn't right for me and she was naysaying my efforts that did feel positive and productive. So, I'm back to watching KZbin videos to heal, again, at least for the time-being. I agree about the importance of changing that voice in our heads. I'm sorry that you wake up thinking "what's the point of it all?" Those days are few and far between for me, right now, but there have been times where it was seemingly endless. So...I can relate to pretty much all of it. Thank you for sharing and creating this so people like myself can find some comfort and reassurance, when we need it, and not feel so alone. <3

Can a narcissistic family have more than one Golden Child? If so, do they compete or cooperate?

My boyfriend has a mother like this. So spot on. He doesn’t see how unhealthy this is. And I hurt for him. She controls every aspect of his life. He is 20 years old, and still asking permission to do anything. She has been cracking down on more control and blame towards him. He has a curfew, a bedtime, so many rules. Nothing he ever does will be good enough for her. She is driving me crazy. I went and cried in the bathroom because i couldn’t stand being around her. She acts so very sweet around me, but i see through her. He calls me nightly, complaining about how he has no sense of self, no freedom, no control. I have tried to tell him my POV, and he sees my side, but he refuses to leave the house because we’ll “that’s my mom and she’s done so much for me, I can’t just leave her.” She chose what college he’s going to, he didn’t have a choice. He wants to get out. But he won’t because his mom doesn’t want him to. He thinks if he gets older she will change. She won’t change. I always got weird vibes from her, but even more recently I have seen her for who she truly is. I don’t know what to do. I want to help him.

I see my SO being abused by his mother. It’s clear as day. He is often frustrated with her, but he can’t move out of the house. Because she won’t let him. And he agrees because it’s his mother. Pls help. I’ve tried telling him, but I can’t do much more.

This is very reassuring, thank you.

Would be interested to hear more about parents who don’t want children to be more successful than them. Myself & a number of female friends have had this experience of not being able to share success with parents because it threatens their ego & therefore having a subconscious fear of doing well.

Yes this is my life.

Wonderful !!!

Thank you! Need to listen to this one many times. 😊

This helps me get relaxed and I get to begin to feel like a winner without rushing. With this attitude, I can begin to take up lessons for things I need to learn, both emotional and physical, with more confidence instead of feeling that I can't even do this, which is a self-defeating attitude. Thank you, loving Athena! You give me love, and with it, the help to grow..

HI Athina! Thanks for the pointers and encouragement! I had emotional neglect due to emotionally unavailable parents, who were raised by emotionally unavailble parents.. Everything seems hard for me like you mentioned, and I feel behind in life and also like I'm failing and not good enough. This has led me into self-isolation, because it feels painful to be around everyone who appears to be doing so much better than myself and because I feel like an unworthy lower class person who is doomed to never achieve anything and to never have any real happiness. I am trying to change my attitude toward life, but the deeply ingrained programming is slow to change! Thanks for pointing out that others are not as perfect and happy as they appear, even if they are hugely successful socially, physically, spiritually or financially!!

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Put one foot Infront of the other Baby steps Be very kind to yourself A day at the time Live in the moment Enjoy your journey Be keen to yourself by meeting good people who helps you,to make YOU feel good and the best version of yourself Note: avoid talking about narcisism...I do it and many people do not understand 👆💪🙂🫂💃🌅❤️

They will bait you and try to recored you reacting to their abuse and take it back to show narcissist so they can enjoy together and bond

Block and delete

My MoMster lives as if a devout Christian. HOWEVER when her old wrinkled face slips she's best described as Sadistically CATHOLIC...

Safer.

My mother died 2 years ago. I just recently realized that she was indeed a narcissist. For the past two years, I’ve experienced a range of emotions. Anger, sadness being the most prevalent. I began to start healing when I finally realized that relationship I so desperately craved to have with her was never going to happen. She was sick and it was never going to change

Thank you 🙏🏻 I just found out my (mom) Is covered narcissism and she’s very good at being evil it only took me 50 years to figure it out ! I just think of her like the series the walking dead or like an exorcist she is not my mother.some evil entity is taking her place now. ✌🏻👽