Self-silencing - A response to trauma or narcissistic abuse

[@victoryamartin9773]

Thank you for speaking out about this. I've suffered depression my whole life while going from one self-silencing relationship to another. I'm not a caretaker, I am a conflict avoider. I live in fear of being thrown out of relationships. After my last break up over 20 years ago, I've been mostly on my own taking care of myself. I've been slowly finding my voice, speaking out, and finding people appreciating what I have to say. Lately, though, I've also found people who want to shut me up again, and the temptation is to go back to the familiar, especially in family circles. I was actually yelled at by my dil so badly last summer that I had to escape their house at midnight and make the long trip home in the dark. She was angry with me for talking frankly with my 8 year old granddaughter about life. I am clueless about how to make that right, so I've avoided going back there. Additionally, an elderly man in my church who desires to be in charge has told me that women are supposed to be silent in church, which means to him that they must not share their views concerning Biblical doctrines, especially when they disagree with him. So there's no point in going to Bible Studies anymore if that's the case, which makes me want to leave my religion. All this to say that I'm finding my world getting smaller again as the people around me attempt to silence me, because this inevitable means the loss of more relationships, leaving me alone and depressed once again in the world.

[@barbarabode4041]

I feel you so much 😢🙏🙏 Women are supposed to be silent? He is definitely wrong. ❤ from Germany, 57, child and catless and depressive since my childhood.

[@CourageCoaching]

I am so sorry for your experiences! I hope you have some 'safe' people in your life to truly share your authentic self with. Share with our community here!

[@barbarabode4041]

@@CourageCoaching me? Sry I am a bit confused... No, I haven't. No family, no friends. Not a single person for the last 27 years. You get used to it.

[@CourageCoaching]

@@barbarabode4041 I am sorry to hear that!That's tough! Can you get yourself another cat for company? Sometimes animals are the greatest comfort! I wish you comfort and continued strength!

[@CourageCoaching]

@victoryamartin9773 I am sorry you have suffered so much with this but I am glad you are slowly finding your voice. It's just a matter of being authentic as much as you can handle it and only keeping kind and healthy people in your life. Don't lose hope. The community on this channel is usually very understanding and empathetic! I am thinking of creating an online support group so people with trauma feel less isolated. Hang in there!

[@MoritzEhlenConsulting]

Never thought of it that way 😮

[@pianoplants7884]

You perfectly described my family growing up with 3 girls and 1 boy!

[@hawthorne9533]

Profound info here - phew!

[@MentalWellnessWithWaihiga]

Speaking my truth, speaking the truth has rendered me so guilty. It's so unfair. Just saying the truth i feel like I'm betraying family, yet they have betrayed me my whole whole life.

[@CourageCoaching]

You are right! It is unfair! Speak your truth even if your voice shakes! This is what I try to remind myself. It might not feel comfortable but it gets easier with practice.

[@cathcolwell2197]

Aren’t all relationships dysfunctional… by degrees 😂I have a disabled sibling (among other relationships) that is a mean SOB - if I don’t take care of him, he will die. It majorly sucks. I am the kiss ass in all of my relationships. It’s just easier. On the other hand, I just worked with a woman who is the meanest, evil bastard - absolutely no grace or decency. No thanks to that. Lately, I have yearned to just be away from people.