After you have broken up with someone - trolling their fb, driving by their house, using drugs, drinking, sleeping with people to get over it are all futile attempts to avoid going inside oneself & facing it all. The only way you will become better for the next relationship or even if you choose to remain solo - will be to face everything no matter how uncomfortable it is. And it is really Fkn painful! But avoidance is societies call & what so many tend to do. I have definitely suffered from this & needing the acceptance of others/ partner & family/friends etc…. ❤ to all it takes a while to heal

Have you seen relationships come back together after these stages?

These steps and phases are so accurate because I went through them exactly as stated a month ago

In 62 and good on it. I’ve been in a toxic relationship which got too bad last week and I’m done I don’t like living alone but want to heal quick as I miss him so much ! So I get back out there and how ?

31:08 Exactly 💯%

Pineapple does indicate a swinger type lifestyle. The upside down pineapple indicates that the couple or person is looking for another couple or person. Not a swinger, but have tried a few times (Before marriage) with my current partner (Wife). 19 years together and 9 years married. Swinging did not work for us. my wife seemed fine with it, but I was not. I was bigger (junk) than the other guy, so this made it easier, but I still did not like to see another man in my woman.

Can you glue a shattered car windshield back together? And would you want it back if you could? There's your answer.

Thank you🙏🏾

RELEASE

I've known since I was 10 years old that I never wanted children. I told my husband that he if changes his mind about children, we'll divorce. I'm not changing who I am just to keep someone around or on some stupid hunch that I "might" enjoy it. There are PLENTY of parents who really wanted children and then anonymously post their stories on either Facebook (I Regret Having Children) and/or Regretful Parents subreddit.

Damn it’s been 30 days I have done everything wrong.. restarts day 1 right now..

“Take care of your self, make a priority and make it a lifestyle” also once you start digging good habits there’s always more to adapt..

As a people-pleaser who’s afraid to say 'no,' I want to express my gratitude and thankfulness because I’ve realized that I need to heal from past wounds. Wishing you all a wonderful day!

The humor is one of the best things at this podcast and makes it more friendly

This discussion is 🔥 🔥🔥

This was so good!!!!

How to quickly get over a breakup… needing 42 minutes to explain lmao

Ok, usually the person who is broken up with gets better after the relationship is over. Gets better, I mean, gets in shape, gets more attractive. But man! What should I do? we've been together for 4 years and 2 years ago I lost weight and started weightlifting. I look amazing. I started learning my third language (English is my second language), and I also work hard. I guess I'll continue doing what I have been doing. And I'm already really attractive, smart and in shape and have lots of things to do in my free time. So no. There's always exception. Not very person abandons themselves in a relationship. I laughed a lot, I mean, what should I do if I'm already in shape hahaha

They seem to be at odds in communicating their points. There seemed to be debating instead of explanation, which on the end of a viewer/ listener like me, we couldn't quite get to the comprehension and explanation of types of stonewalling in order to have a defined, clear view. Instead of debating the definition or the types, it would be more helpful for you guys to have figured that out amongst yourself and then used the podcast to teach instead of debate. I feel like a fly on the wall or a person outside listening in to two peoples private debate, instead of feeling like I'm a participant in a teaching session.

Day 1 for me. The breakup was awful because I’ve been all over the place also dealing with the impending death of my nan 😢

I am walking out 2 years relationship, he is

Sophomoric

This is confusing to me though because avoidant attachment style people will usually feel drained during a close relationship, feel relief after a breakup, and be emotionally unavailable in their next relationship too. How can you differentiate if it’s that or if it’s truly an unhealthy relationship?

❤❤❤

Question: what happens if the two of you run a business together and you have to communicate most days?

Oh man you guys did the best job with this topic and I've been digging for a few yrs. Where have you been?! Ty. -hurting, isolated, in "withdrawls" (quotations unnecessary, they're real but don't personally know anyone that understands), in the storm of chemical addictions additionally 😅, potential future coaching client 😊 gotta get bk on my feet for that part

I love the part you spoke about not needing the other person to get closure! I was hanging onto that but now I realize I don't need to see him to move on

I'm going through one of the worst breakup ever possible on planet earth. I lost everything my dignity, my respect, my heart, my mind. Please whoever is reading this please pray for me because this pain is something beyond my capacity. I'm dying every single second of the day and for past 20 days. Please just pray 💔😓

Im gonna have to figure out how to do 30 days no contact when we have a kid together and i have to see her every day so i can see my daughter

As goofy as it can be sometimes, the role-playing is really helpful because it plays out the real issues and feelings that people have.

27 years married. Separated 10 months now. He moves on after 6 months of separation. I found out a week ago he is seeing someone me and my kids know. For the last week I have been the one seeking closure or trying to get him back. I feel like the person you described seeking closure and he’s the guy that was “move on” I cried all the way through this episode. I still don’t know what to do anymore.

When he said "reduces the sexual expectations of that relationship". Isn't that good though? The guy on the left is way less biased than the guy on the right for sure.

Sample find somebody that wants the same thing that you want in life and STOP wasting your time and their time with the ones that don’t want the same goals in life like you 🙄

I found the video quite interesting and practical. Thank you both.

There is a saying, you get what you put into it. Facts are going against to all genders. Personally we made a list our the. It is like many other things to do. The major issue how to break down the obvious ways to avoid. Once saw the that not only us but other persons would have be willing abide, then break away. To avoid any harm. If one seduce another they are both wrong. My wife said that I was cheating. I denied it and proved that the so called a friend lied my where about was proved a sale sheet the day and time. My mistake was I saw the signs her feelings and over looked it. Thinking nothing was wrong.

I have dated lots of women, but u found one that was seen on the reg. She started doing fetty the worst drug ever. Gosh it's so fucking hard to move on i feel like I'll never find anyone again wtf

Wish there was a pill

There is a high percentage of those choosing to stay that their religion or culture advocates they have no choice but to stay? Or if they leave, there are eternal consequences.

What if you still live in the home that you shared your ex with, its hard because of the memories are there

2.5 years of what seemed to be the relationship I was looking for my whole life. 1st day after and my mind is in the worst place I've ever been. Hours of KZbin about stoicism and coping with breakups and I can't get her off my mind. It's not you, it's me. How can that possibly be the case? I hate this so much. The rug was pulled put from under my feet and I have no direction or purpose.

When he said “no matter how much success someone has, it doesn’t take away the pain”……that hit hard!

On the adult-child relationship, I feel so relieved to see that I am not alone thinking this about that type of dynamic. In my case I told the person that their lack of fixing things on their own without my help etc. caused a messed up powerful dynamic in which I took the mother/teacher role and I am not keen on incest not attracted to my students. I was called mean and selfish.

This was one of the greatest videos I watched on KZbin. You guys are very insightful, practical, directing and funny at the same time. Thank you so much! ❤️

This sounds easy, but in my case we were in a great relationship with a lot of plans. Then the next day it was gone without a word from my partner….it obviously didn’t feel right. Surely it’s acceptable at this point to want answers from your partner instead of just walking away with nothing after everything, never to talk again after being so involved with each other doesn’t seem right at all. Obviously people have the right to choose whatever they want, but surely it’s a lot to ask that someone just leave their whole life without any explanation.

Yes and we role-playing helped each of us, and we first tried sex acts and recorded ourselves in so many sex positions bought Few hundred dollars on sex toys we jerked in front of each other and we did it for each other. The toys were were helpful and crazy fun. Most of all we were so happy with each other. She sent me to her best friend who was divorced near a year. She just said, go take these toys give her an all night sex, take several brakes, talk to her tell her we will find her a partner. That was the most difficult thing to over come. After few guys we found by accident a nerdy guy who was fun to be around. Turned he was a good match. Trust turned out good. We did the swinger thing a few times a few were ok only two were worth it the expensive $$$. We met a couple in their mid 50s the were a joyous times, like friends next door neighbors they had several different interests. And very polite.

The mistake several people is if you are in a bonded relationship, it's going to be difficult on the trust factor. It can damage, break up,,change your emotions, and you have to learn how deal with and readjust in many ways.

The host talks a lot more, and it's always about him and his life. I was expecting input from the guest.

Do they still do the group stuff. I'd like to join. Also I realised through this that I was the one who was not respecting his boundary of wanting me to stop talking to him for a while until he was ready but he did confuse me and said things like he still wants me and is just scared of Us getting attached again if we're friends and I said well the thing is I learned that attachment isn't good in relationships so if we could do relationship again but we're more independent and take care of our own lives but still keep that connection with that be okay. and he told me he was ready for that but he didn't want to talk about it now and I was like okay um so I give it a day and I want to talk about it again but this time he just didn't want to talk to me at all and he kind of just blocked me and never unblocked me and I realized that through watching This podcast video I realized that I was the one who was not respecting that no contact given space to heal and I was looking for closure from him. When really I should have been looking at for from myself because I had all of these questions and I just wanted to ask them because he would be so friendly and say I loved you and sometimes slip up and say baby during conversation tonight I just wanted to ask him if he how he felt about me what do you think about me if you want to get back together and I had a lot more questions like that I met her because a lot of things during the breakup make me feel like wow there is never matter and why why was it like a big silent month for us as well and I have all of these questions so many more questions and he just didn't want to answer any of them he said he didn't want to answer them and to me I had these questions and they made me feel so uneasy and I thought I just could ask him and get closures then I would be fine but he said he didn't want to answer, I told him I'd leave him alone after that permanently, and he just said that I can't force him (which wasn't my intention) and he blocked me. It is honestly the most confusing break up ever and I feel so uncertain, and like it's not happening something is unresolved or not adding up.

Falling for wrong person means living in hell everyday

My partner left after 18 yrs when I got diagnosed with breast cancer 2yr ago and he's walked past me today with a new girl.....I'm extremely hurting