As I've seen in the last, too, I just can't understand cat-ladies. WHY wouldn't you remove the distracting (for you and for your viewers) cat from the room before recording?!

1:50 So, the defense mechanism called "splitting" (black and white thinking). Check them all in the Wikipedia article "Defense mechanism".

Ask an ENFP - they find me every time. I dont think an INTJ is easy to spot until you have had some interaction with them. Once you know, it seems like it was always obvious.

I view MBTI as a rough tool to better understand others' likely tendencies. Each personality group is a big bucket. One introvert is not the same as another. Also, introverts can acquire social skills that may make them appear to be extroverts. I think MBTI and other personality tests have become a rabbit hole for many fans - they try to use test results to understand all of the inner mysteries instead of getting to know the actual specific person. Having said that, when I connect easily with someone, it often turns out that they fit a specific MBTI type.

Much of your relationship experience seems more indicative of your avoidant attachment style rather than specifically INTJ. You already know that you are avoidant, so you can work on that. If you haven't already, you may want to take a deeper look into your relationship with your mother. Sometimes, fathers with demons spiral downward because they were married to a covert narcissist. If you ever thought your mother was the angel, that's a good sign that there may be more issues. It's hard enough being an INTJ without laying on childhood trauma. It takes an INTJ longer to figure it all out due to the weakness in understanding their own feelings. Best wishes on your journey through life.

The choir teacher way out of line.

INTJ female here, and I resonate with most of what you share here, as an INTJ female. I wish I could chat with another INTJ female so much.

<-INTP Much of the romance standards and ideals apply with us as well. We just have a different method of discrimination between potential partners. With an INTP, it seems to be, 'keep up with me, or you will decide to call it off yourself'.

Thank you Niki, for being out there and fighting for us INTJs to be better understood.

This is very well put. I always called myself clueless as I don't pick up on those flirtatious social cues. I do know what I want, or wanted, as I always had that vision but I never found that person and I'm too old now. Oh well. I can say that the lack of drama in my life is a true blessing and for that I am very happy.

Thank you Niki, for this. INTJ male, separated after a 15 year relationship, and thinking about the possibility of meeting someone again.

Really glad youre not a bot.- ENTP

Your eyes are beautiful✨

I'm a INTJ, I went through terrible trauma as a kid having brain cancer 4 times. What I hate is people downgrade my trauma because I'm "so smart". It took so much time to get where i am. It wasn't until I started fully studying psychology and found a therapist I could connect with that therapy started to work. My therapist understands I intellectualize much of my trauma.

Damn i fucking love her voice .

I like your Octapus its cute.

Hi everyone!! INFP female here 💗 First of all, I want to thank you, Niki, for always being so transparent with us about your experiences and dismantling these stereotypes. I wasn’t going to comment, but then I thought that maybe my experience might change anyone’s opinion about INTJs being “romantically clueless” and “unemotional robots.” Also, I just feel like yapping to total strangers on the internet. My very first boyfriend was an INTJ. We had a wonderful relationship, for the most part. However, as a young INFP, I was dealing with a lot of trauma that hadn’t been processed, and I ended up overwhelming him with my insecurities. Consequently, towards the end of the relationship, he became very closed off and pushed me away, so, when I couldn’t take it anymore, I broke things off with him. Soon after, he was in a new relationship, and I was a total mess. He told mutual friends that I was indifferent to him. I went no contact but just couldn’t move on. Two years later, I was still very much in love with him and unconsciously waiting for him to come back. When I realized he wasn’t going to because he was still dating someone else, I had to force myself to let him go. I am now in a new, healthy, loving relationship. Last month, to my surprise, I saw him again. We talked for a long time, and he said that he was about to publish his first book. When I asked what it was about, I wasn’t prepared for the storm that was about to hit me. 200+ romantic-tragic poems about me. I couldn’t believe it. I, myself, had also been convinced that he was a robot, incapable of true connection, and that I hadn’t meant much to him. I was wrong. In he’s case, he very much was afraid of rejection, not knowing how I was going to react (might have to do with his enneagram 5 or just a personal thing) so he kept it a secret all these years. However, he said that seeing me physically moved him so much that he just had to let me know. Sounds like the plot to a movie, but it’s just my ironic life. So yeah, INTJs are capable of being in love and feeling it VERY deeply, and that means a lot coming from an Fi dom. There you have it. Hope this resonates with someone. And wow!! Thanks for reading the whole thing 💖 Sending love to you all 🫂

This reminds me of something I saw in high school. We had this surfer type substitute teacher that the girls would crush on. On of the girls asks him ‘sir, why don’t you smile more’. His response was ‘how can I smile when I look at you?’ I try to dress as blandly as possible…..it is a great small talk repellant.

It's good to know what you want..:) What are your spiritual beliefs? Do you ever pray or read the Bible? 🍀For me, God is truly my best friend, and after that my cat :) As far as MBTI I am INFP-ish but it's not my religion as it is for many. Stereotypes are not helpful (or true) Best to you🙏

The one looking very uncomfortable and awkward

As an Infj female, I can relate to some of the things that you talk about in your video; I can find it hard to connect with other people, too because I have very different interests from most people my age.The best advice that I can give is to find someone you appreciates all that you have to offer. P.S. I love you cats in the background, they're super cute.

Thanks for making us feel we are not alone- INTJ female 😊

Met a woman who I suspect is an INTJ, she’s so stereotypically an INTJ even her field of study is a typical INTJ stereotype, lol. However, I understand that all INTJs are different in their own way. Anyway, I have SUCH a hard time reading her, which is so surprising to me because I am typically sooo good at reading body language and behavior being an INFJ. I am crushing on her HARD, I haven’t felt this way for anyone in such a looong time, been some years since I was in a relationship or anything so it means a lot for me to feel something for her. If someone could feel what I’m feeling then they’d understand. I spend a lot of my time thinking about her that I even cause myself some anxiety. 🤣 At first she struck me as sooo serious and distant, but I kind of saw through that, I sensed that there was so MUCH more substance in her than what meets the eye and THAT’S what I am attracted to. Yes, on the surface she is attractive, however deep down she is absolutely beautiful. I sense something forming between us and I don’t know how to navigate it. I feel as she has some interest back, however I just cannot tell because she is hard to read to me. She doesn’t really flirt with me, but she does spend a little bit of her free time talking to me and seems receptive to everything we talk about, I catch her looking at me all the time, sometimes it seems as if she blushes, but I can’t be certain. I have seen her change so much around me, her stoic appearance has changed to a more gleeful excitement when we see each other. I am confused by her behavior sometimes, there was an instance where we had a lengthy hand shake and someone asked if we were a couple. She really laughed and replied “no”, but I couldn’t tell if she was simply embarrassed or if her reply was more of a “heck no, I would never” 😂 it was kind of cute the way she reacted, but this confused me even more, how can I tell if an INTJ has a romantic interest in me? I would love any advice/support you could give me! Thank you so much. 🙏🏻

All I can say is ‘no worry’. Being INTJ is actually cool. Embrace your uniqueness. We are so worried that we can’t fit in and people want to change us. But please don’t. We change ourselves on our own good time. As a matured older INTJ, I can tell you that age makes us softer. We appreciate our unique personality as well as the personality of others and world is better and a lot more beautiful that way. We don’t have to be nice, we just need to be kind. I think having an understanding partner with compatible personality can give us comfort and freedom to be who we are. So, when you find one, you know. It’s not so alien and misunderstood anymore.

O alas, males will get that too...haha. Rest assured..."You have such a good smile, why don't you smile more? You look so serious all the time." But hey, maybe they're right. I probably do have a nice smile. But sorry Charlie, the sun doesn't shine all the time, every day neither. That's life.

I have a theory about INTJs and migraines. While INTJs don't have a monopoly on chronic migraines, it does seem to be a common problem. Personally, I had migraines my entire childhood (almost everyday). By the time I reached my 20s, I had them only every few months. By the time I reached my 30s, every few years. Having had two in the last year, something clicked and all the data I have taken in on the subject my entire life, including my own personal experiences with them, began to formulate into an understanding (a possible theory). Before the onset of a migraine a couple months ago, I was trying to explain a complicated topic to a friend of mine. This was a very abstract understanding that has so much data behind it that, by the time the conversation was over -- I felt absolutely exhausted -- even though I felt I barely scratched the surface. The next thing I knew, I started to have an onset of a psychedelic experience. My perspective started getting really trippy and light and sound, ect started getting distorted. Shortly after, I had a massive migraine that cripple me for a couple days. I then thought back to the migraine I had previous a few months prior -- a very similar situation. Then I started thinking back to the last one I had a few years prior .. same kind of situation. And even thinking back to high school -- same situation. Though, back then, it was more of me bringing an abstraction into my art projects. I recall sitting in art class in High School trying to draw something the way I saw it internally; I got that same trippy feeling with dots appearing in my visual field; then, stillness, followed by the most crippling migraine I ever had where I was throwing up every time I was exposed to the light or a sound. It might of been I had them much more frequently when I was younger because I was always working on my art. I still make music from time to time but I seldom ever draw or paint anymore like when I was a kid. So, my theory: migraines, perhaps in everyone, perhaps only in INTJs, has to do with pulling a massive amount of data from the abstract world into the concrete world. If you never yet attempted to pull something into this world, it can leave one with a migraine. In our abstract world, say we have a theory -- there is a massive amount of data in terms of the physical world. Largely, in our internal world, it is non-linear and hard to communicate. By bringing it into this world we have to make it structural, linear, and understandable. This is exhausting and stresses the nervous system tremendously. The thing about migraines is they are issues with things like serotonin -- which is also the chemical say psilocybin or LSD would mess with that would cause a trip. So there seems, from a biological perspective, a correlation with giving ourselves essentially a mini-trip which causes the weird shift in consciousness followed by a migraine where everything gets jammed up trying to make the non-linear, linear. I have no answer to a migraine once its sets in -- except to release on it and wait it out. However, it seems that if one makes more of an effort to slowly pull our abstractions in the physical world more regularly, and don't wait to do it all at once -- its less stress on the nervous system. It could even be that our brains and nervous systems adapt to the new us, in a similar way how you get soar after lifting weights and then the muscle grows back bigger and stronger. Maybe that is our brain becoming more ready to utilize our abstractions (or something along that line). Hope that helps or is at least food for thought. There is more to this of course, my current theory, but it went on long enough -- but that's the general gist. Thanks for the videos, Joe

INTJ female here - I hear what you are saying. Finding the ‘right’ partner is not guaranteed, but I guess as long as you have ‘lived’ and ‘loved’, and put yourself out there enough… then you can die knowing that you haven’t wasted your time on earth. Of the love affairs I’ve had in my life, I regret nothing. I think we do get better at figuring people out, and how to protect our time/energy. I may be projecting, but I honestly think INTj females are natural alphas or leaders of their own ‘tribe’… perhaps that’s why we are built to be rational even when it comes to love.

not me reaching for my diet pepsi right before you said whats in your cup😂

can tell -INTJ

What is it with INTJ's loving heavy metal? I am an INTJ and I too love listening to metal. I have been seeing this pattern occurring quite a few times now.

As an INTJ male with an INTJ Daughter you are right on.

A mixture of blunt, quiet, perfectionistic, purposeful and selective. Discerning. - INTJ

As a young female INTJ thankyou for showing me that there's actually nothing wrong with me and I'm not too picky ❤

I would say : indifference- boredom- nerd vibes- solving equation face- skeptically looking you from head to toe- akward smirky introducing himself.😅

INTJ, seems to be born from the ashes of chaos, pain, destruction, like a harsh cactus ready to take the worst from the world.

99% of the time you'll find us INTJs in the dark corner of the room, and if not there, probably outside staring into oblivion.

For me it started with not feeling understood followed by the idea that the way I am can not be loved, because to be loved is to be understood. To combat that feeling I suppressed my true self, needs and emotions and connected with people through an ‘acceptable’ ‘invulnerable’ illusion of who I was while trying to make them feel understood and loved in the way I wished to be. Now I am learning to accept and love who I am so I can give and receive authentic love.

I have a massive crush on a INTJ female and I love how confident yet quietly shy she is. She’s soo honest, yet very awkward. I want to really understand her and I find her to be sooo attractive. I sense she has a lot of substance, but I feel like I have to dig for it which I love to do as an INFJ.

Greeting: I've RETURNED a good morning once or a hello once to you today. You won't get another one, sorry. We're past that. Smile: If it's not natural it's completely overrated and fake. If someone is smiling at me constantly I will judge them fake and a potential threat actually. Favorite Colors and Clothes: Look, black is my favorite color and I like the way I look in it. Okay, I'll go for darker shades of gray on my vehicles. I don't give a shit that such and such has deemed it's a reflection of dark, disturbed, and evil souls. Oh, you're favorite color is red and you wear it often? You blood thirsty f#@$. How many people have you slain? White?!!!? The color of utter, bitter f#$@ing cold? A wasteland of lifelessness? You need to be locked up! Black can be just a favorite color. Others can get over it. I already have and it changes nothing. Social Norms: Fake plans, CHOICE of belief(s)(faith, religion, lack of, etc) BUT nobody else has their choice (?), Opinions having to be shared or rejection is inevitable...etc. Sorry for the sum up, but I'm going to just go with social norms. Screw them. If they have a value or true meaning I'll be onboard. If it's just because everyone else is doing it? Go to hell. Enjoy your herd mentality. Oh? I'll be rejected and spend more time alone? Sign me up. I'm there. I found freedom quite a long time ago when I started understanding who I was and stopped trying to be what society says everyone should be. I really think the first eureka moment was when I came to the realization that not everybody is going to like Chris. And, holy shit, Chris definitely doesn't like everyone else. In fact, not many that I really do. Freedom to be me and not care so much about these "norms" or rejection was soon on my doorstep after that. I don't have to be an extrovert to be somebody. I don't have to matter to others for me to find value in myself. I know this is an older video and I just discovered your channel, but I absolutely love this content and your rants. I can relate and they get me going to in case others couldn't tell! I hope to see many more even though they will accumulate few and far between. Wouldn't be an INTJ communication with the masses if they were more frequent!

Nuh, you are just stupid, sorry

Oh my gosh. INTJ male here and I seriously hope you were intending on being a little humorously sarcastic while making this vid. I just totally got it. People not only need easy things defined for them (such as dating v. relationships) but the illustrated artwork was to die for! INTJs = we aren't arrogant. We just have a little more figured out than you do. Own it like you have! New subscriber and won't mind the breaks you take. We need our own time between dealing with the masses regardless of way we choose to communicate with them. Just pop in every now and then though.

Be based. Worked for me.

i really like how you talk about being an intj in a deeper sense because most content about intj are from non-intj people and almost all of them are stereotypes so i've never felt like i could really relat to this label. thank you, i know my people now

Hi, I'm an INTJ-T male who found this at 54 years old. I was tested in high school, because of bad grades and dyslexia was the answer. I was depressed because of the grades before I found out that I just learned differently. in junior high and high school, I was always dinged for "does not work well with others" and "lack of participation". What helped me through life was my younger sister being an extravert and making friends through daily interactions, otherwise, I was always in my shell. I worked at a Subway restaurant, and this helped with the skill of interaction and small talk. I have only had 2 friends for about 35 years now, and another for 3 years at work because I was so tired of being misunderstood so I told him I took the MBTI test revealing INTJ-T. I am married.

7:52 Your cat just blew its cover heh.

"Sometimes we just forget about our face..." Yep haha

I got your channel recommended and was curious to see what would you respond as an INTJ myself. Well, I answered before you do in my head and 90% were similar haha. I did the test again because I noticed the questions changed, so after the 737823 times I do this test, here is my results: INTJ-A 82% introverted 79% Intuitive 75% Thinking 76% Judging I've been doing it for years now and always get this. And it's funny, as someone mentioned it before, my socials skills increased but I see my Introversion getting higher every year. It's nice to confirm again that I'm an INTJ I guess

Wow! I’m now 54 and your discussion just opened my eyes to how it was the adults around me that influenced my cognitive function. So helpful. Thx.