#1 Cycle of Insecurely Attached Relationships (Codependency & Love Addiction) Part 1

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Hello Subscribers: Thank you for checking out my videos and posting such thoughtful comments. It's inspiring to read your self-reflections and insights. I love how we grow from each other's sharing. One thing I have learned after years of reading comments is that we are not alone. Many of us have the same experiences when it comes to relationships. We are all trying to make sense of attachment trauma and learn better skills of relating. Great job everyone - keep going and keep learning! As I'm sure you can understand, I'm not able to respond to all the comments and questions here on KZbin. I know this can be disappointing sometimes. Please forgive me. It is challenging to find the time for the careful consideration that is needed in order to respond to your heartfelt reflections. Even so, your vulnerability shines through. I know behind each comment is a real person with real feelings who's hurting or who’s reporting a triumph. I know you are doing the best you can while trying to make sense of life’s suffering. We are all grappling with what it means to be human. I’m sorry that I’m not always able to respond to your comments directly. That being said, I'm sharing this post to offer you a few resources in an attempt for us to stay connected. Keep in mind that I do read most comments here on KZbin. Your words are received. I review comments daily, which serves as a way to organize content for future videos. If you have a question or an idea for a video that you think is important to explore when it comes to learning about relationships and healing attachment trauma, then I want to hear about it. Please submit your questions and ideas here: www.alanrobarge.com/questions ____ Many of us want to know how to heal, how to change, how to be more secure in our relationships. This is why I created the course The Four Attachment Distress Responses. Many of our behaviors in relationships are habitual - meaning we act out of autopilot. Our autopilot Response comes from past conditioning of negative experiences. When attachment injuries go unaddressed, we become insecure in our relationships. The Four Attachment Distress Responses Course describes each specific type of guardedness, which is how we try to protect ourselves from getting hurt again, while also attempting to get our attachment needs met. While we cannot change the past, we can change how we respond in the moment and in the future. This course offers you insights and tools as new ways to respond in your relationships. The Four Responses are Poking, Running, Hiding, and Submitting. You’re invited to take the quiz to learn more about your Response. Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz: www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz ____ I created an 8-week program and membership community based on the guiding principle of Self-Directed Healing Work #selfhealers that I want to share with you. The community is called Improve Your Relationships. The focus is about healing attachment injuries in the context of relationship repair in all areas of our lives. When we look at the big picture of how attachment injuries and attachment trauma occurred in our lives, we are able to begin seeing our relationship choices from a whole new perspective. We gain access to inner resources that shift how we relate and respond to old hurts. It's a process. It's layered. It requires commitment. This is what the community is all about - committing to your healing work. You are invited to join us. The community members are kind and supportive. We are an established group. The feedback and testimonials have been overwhelmingly positive. Please check out the link for more information: www.alanrobarge.com/community ____ Also, in addition to checking out my course and/or joining us in the Community, please consider becoming a Sustaining Supporter by making a financial contribution. Your contribution helps guarantee continued quality and accessible content. If you benefit from my videos and want to show your support for the value offered, then please make a donation: www.alanrobarge.com/donate ____ Thank you for being a channel subscriber and watching my videos. And remember, we invest in our healing work because “Emotional Connections Matter!” Best regards, Alan Robarge Attachment-Focused Psychotherapist www.alanrobarge.com/

[@dleveston]

"In the beginning, you will pick an unavailable partner even if you didn't know this right away." MIC DROP!

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

lol glad you resonated with that part. Thanks for your comment. Please also share this video with a friend who may like it.

[@daniellestaley9432]

‘You ignore red flags of concerns and you work to rationalize them.’ Yup. 💯 me. Nailed it.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thanks for letting me know this also resonates for you. Glad to see you connect with the content on several videos. Thanks for commenting. Since you like this video, please tag a friend and/or share it with others. Help me spread the word.

[@daniellestaley9432]

@@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma Hi Alan, I’ve been watching your videos consistently since I found you week before last. I’ve actually commented on a number of your video posts. I really appreciate your approach and thoughtfulness in which you express yourself - you are very thoughtful about your use of words and mindful to catch and correct yourself when you do trip up on a word that could lend to someone feeling offended or polarized. I have found you to be incredibly knowledgable and succinct with the presentation of your material. Mostly, I appreciate that you do not pull any bullshittery - you tell it like it is and you are always 💯 spot on . Plus you are just really likeable. 🙂 Just listened to your post earlier today emotional attachment and the detached partner and another about healing over time and with attention (or something like that)… Breakthrough for me as today was one of the first in a very long time that I felt like the veil was lifting and I had some real clarity. No tears. No huge emotional charge. No looping. It’s been about a month and 1/2 since I broke it off with my ex (who I discovered later is a DA), and I was wondering if I would ever get past it. Now I know I will. Thank you. Ps - trust I flagged you over to a couple of girlfriend to listen to on day one.🥰

[@katlovedreamingpeach]

@@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma i'm the tagged friend!! I love this so much! 14:42 really touches such truth! the willingness to try to just 'make it work' through all the challenges without even really knowing about the reality of those challenges or knowing the person deeply who we are willing to commit to - challenges and all...!

[@sallyomae9262]

Damn this was good. My mind is in a daze cause im hearing all this for the first time.I never realized that in addition to picking emotionally unavailable partners, I was also emotionally unavailable. I’ve definitely over-shared and went “all in” very quickly each time. Told myself this was because I was ready to love. Truth is I trying to bypass the intentional, mature work of getting to know someone. Damn. God please help me make sense of it and put what I’m learning into practice. Thank you as always, Alan.

[@suzannem8265]

Many light bulb moments in this video, I knew my boundaries were messed up but didn’t know why or how, it’s beginning to make sense. I thank you so very much!

[@DanielleFerreira-kt7ix]

oh, the story of my life and I'm only halfway through the video!

[@conniethecactus5148]

Exactly the same !! He puts it very plainly and really addresses the reasons why !

[@britlandco]

I call it loving past stupid.

[@Jahmandee]

me too....

[@mtngirlbunny9290]

You have amazing clarity!!! Thank you so much!!!

[@amyhines0953]

Exactly - was gonna say same. clarity!! 🙌🏻 such a relief!!

[@ladyofthewoods2448]

Recently I woke up and realized my mother is narcissistic that was a difficult thing to know . Yet important I’m 58 it’s about time to be well. You know what your talking about, obviously you listening I see you have. Expertise in this area . Bless you sir ! Your words offer me so much help . Thank you for the candid conversation. Bless you 🤗

[@acertree1980]

Same here. So how does one undo all the baggage from decades of stuff from our Mom 🤔🙄

[@brentliles4857]

Wow! You are amazing! I am 40 years old and for the first time in my life, you are making everything make sense! Thank you so much for your videos!

[@keeesh444]

Brent Liles me too

[@nicoleo6422]

Omg finally someone who has the balla to say what’s been going on! So thankful for the clarity It’s not hard to hear. It’s not dense. It’s clarity

[@missamericausa]

I'm so happy and so satisfied that I joined your program. Everything I'm hearing make so much sense and it's resonating100%. I am really progressing and moving along. I actually just needed to hear somebody say it out loud😆😆

[@kelebeksky]

How are you doing today?

[@SweetDesertHoney]

Alan, you literally ALWAYS make me feel better after watching one of your videos. Thank you for helping me heal and steering me in the healthier direction when I start falling back into my old patterns of thinking & reacting. THANK YOU!

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Glad to hear this content is of benefit for you. I appreciate the feedback and thank you for valuing my work. I'm reminded how the Self-Directed Healing Approach helps us strengthen our sense of direction. We explore this in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. Learn more here www.alanrobarge.com/community I welcome you joining us as a member.

[@peachysquirrely]

I’m literally crying. This is very helpful.

[@Angrymobs62]

You’re so helpful. I no longer have a desire for any relationship again. I feel grateful about that!

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

AM MR, I’m glad this material resonates with you. If the information I offer is of benefit, then consider joining us in the membership community, Improve Your Relationships. We are a group of kind, supportive learners who want to make sense of our past relationships and learn new skills of better relating. You’re invited to join us. Here is a link for more info: www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@Angrymobs62]

Alan Robarge / Attachment Trauma Therapist Is this where there’s a group of people to hear about? I would end up rolling my eyes and getting bored. Even though you help me understand my past problems, I’m pretty much ok with feeling unable to desire a relationship. I do have children to help though. You helped me figure out childhood problems as my root problems but my parents are sick now, I must forgive and forget and also forgive the hateful men of my past. I have children to help

[@lorraineohagan1799]

Alan is the best in this field. And even brings humour to the hardest of subjects. Love this video - it's a description of my life x

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thank you for valuing my content. Good to know the videos and posts are helpful. I am glad you benefit from the effort and time investment it takes to offer quality content. Please consider joining us in the membership community to show your support and/or becoming a sustaining supporter with a donation. Making a contribution supports the continuation of more quality content. FYI/ www.alanrobarge.com/community and/or www.alanrobarge.com/donate

[@elizabethslater245]

Thank you so much! It feels so rewarding to set serious boundaries and this kind of support is helpful!

[@nancygray7850]

I love your work. Can't wait for the rest of the series!

[@snakedogman]

I feel like I might be the emotionally unavailable partner. But I'm not sure. How do I know of myself whether I'm being emotionally available or not? I don't think I even know how to tell.

[@ChauniB]

I knew I picked an unavailable partner even though they appeared available in the beginning. I was looking for a healing relationship, I tried my best to exercise secure relating, yet I was kept at arms length, they were incapable of healthy relating, and manipulative yet I stayed! Even when the gaslighting and withholding started I still stayed 😢

[@SaintTrinianz]

Single, broken, have been celibate for years. Due to my personal history (unavailable, group B parents, siblings, partners & even offspring) I don't believe that I can be part of a good, healthy, happy relationship. I'm very up-front about this whenever a person shows interest. Still, there are a few male 'friends' who have pursued the relationship for YEARS. I KNOW that I am damaged and emotionally unavailable. Now I have a frame for understanding why a person might pursue a relationship with someone who is plainly, openly, emotionally and physically unavailable... Thank you for providing me with another piece of the puzzle.

[@johanvanderlinden4331]

Love the print of Almond Blossoms.

[@afterthisourexile6542]

Another home run, Alan.

[@dariadubajic7937]

This here! Wow, Alan, this is a dissection with a surgical precision! Spot on how everything played out in my relationships so far. Now I understand

[@misssterious1499]

This hits home. So much. I love your work and appreciate it! I'm healing.

[@frontrangeclinic2071]

OMG mind blown. I had no idea why I had these patterns. Alan you explained this so well, I get it now.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Front Range Clinic, I am glad this video on the cycle hit home for you. Thanks for the comment

[@BeHisLikeness]

Then HOW do you stop "picking an emotionally unavailable person"

[@sororstar2672]

There is a video by Alan on that very topic✨

[@Alieortwo]

Many people are broken and weird. It is your task to recognize the red flags in the beginning and act upon them. Than your heart will not be broken again. One will be good for you! It is just learning to say no and set boundaries and not wanting to heal others or settle for less. You need to heal your childhood trauma s and feel good about yourself! 😊

[@mylittlekittens]

It's probably harder, because healthy people don't rush in quickly, and they don't appear available.

[@strandedinanisland457]

@@Alieortwo Your words are so true. I now realize I used to put broken people coming to me as emotional connections. I now have a separate category for them....

[@darwincopeland]

Really good! I got to listen to that again.

[@irisbloom5620]

Alan, you´re good. Oh yes, this is so true.

[@Moonbeam729]

This is exactly my situation. I'm finding it hard to give up on this relationship because it's long distance so I've told myself that it could be better if we lived closer to one another but I'm not sure. I almost started dating someone else but that person was emotionally unavailable too 😂 she was like hung up on her ex but at least I was able to make myself aware that it wasn't a good situation.

[@kellybethmcmahon9761]

Your videos are soooooo helpful Alan!! Thank you so much for your explanations, and the nervous system impact. I am gaining so much insight into myself! Your videos are a life changing God send to me!!! Thank you! Thank you!

[@Sdbabies]

I LOVE YOU ALAN!!!! YOU SOLVE ALL THE UNANSWERED ANXIETIES AND WORRIES I DWELL ON AFTER AN HOUR THERAPY SESSION AND CALMED MY SOUL WITHIN 20 MIN. YOU HELPED ME SO I DONT HAVE TO BE PARALYZED WHILE WAITING FOR NEXT WEEKS SESSION AND POSSIBLY FORGETTING WHAT I LEARN.

[@merlerussell770]

Amazing Alan

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thank you.

[@SalomeForShalom]

I swear this guy is a wizard man ...how?? Why are you in my head 😩

[@melawieeinapfel8594]

this is so valuable, thank you so much, we receive so much help from you, thank you

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thanks for valuing my efforts. Glad it offers benefits.

[@weirdone8784]

I think God sent you to save me! Jk, that would be immensely codependent, but really, these are amazing!

[@ummewaseem4910]

loool this made me smile

[@Tinky456]

Me too!!

[@mfass9428]

WOW! Very very thought provoking!!!

[@mpumeleloak]

Wow this video was made for me

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thanks for the feedback. Glad to hear this content resonates for you. Thanks for commenting. You might of already heard about it but you may also like the course, The Four Attachment Distress Responses. Learn more by taking the quiz www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz

[@emiliobertrandbungegonzale9961]

Man thank you. I smelled that in my current relationship something was repeating, i wasnt feeling comfortable, and i was precisely afraid of not holding back. In that sense i learned to not see not holding back as a virtue from my past relation. I reached to a point where i was needy but i took courage and said the other person the insecurity i was feeling and that i have problems with my way of attachment and that i was sorry if i ignored red flags or overinvested at some times. We both agreed that we cherish our friendship before escalating some months ago. Also the pandemic makes my insecure attachment worse. So basically i decided to hold back, go back and rework my way of relating to her, without necesarily expecting or wishing things to escalate as they did before which is very hard to accept. She told me she wanted tô slow down for the moment, because of the pandemoc and other hard processes that she is living. I am grateful for this video amd the way it might improve my way of relating to others. I truly want to break that cycle.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thank you for sharing - I'm happy to see that you were so engaged with this content and willing to share about your experience. My empathy goes out to you. The reason I created the membership community, Improve Your Relationships, is because many of us have stories like yours. We see the pattern over time. We keep doing the same thing. We see the suffering. We have to choose to change the pattern. We need a plan of self-directed healing. This is what we talk about in the membership community. You are invited to join us. Here is the info: www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@plummage]

Wow this is the story of my LIFE

[@snakedogman]

I feel like I might be the emotionally unavailable partner. But I'm not sure. How do I know of myself whether I'm being emotionally available or not? I don't think I even know how to tell.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thanks for the questions. We grow by asking questions and exploring. You might want to check out The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz We have different self-protective behaviors that may be inhibiting our emotional availability. Glad you are searching out helpful resources.

[@mariepearce7171]

Very clear, thank you Alan

[@Alieortwo]

I am single and watching you. 🤣🤣🤣 I feel like i am healed from all the nonsens. Good to see!

[@MishaMarieXX]

Thank you so much for the handout Alan! I really appreciate it.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

I am glad this is helpful! You’re invited to join us in the online community I created, Improve Your Relationships. It takes the same topics that these posts are created from and expands upon them. Here is a link for more info: www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@desiree4535]

I think this series saved my life

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Safiyah, I am glad this series resonated with you. I see you were very engaged in the material by what you wrote. There are many people, just like you, who are interested in a deeper conversation about this material. I created the online Improve Your Relationships 8-week program with to address how we can begin to change the reoccurring patterns that show up with attachment distress. The invitation is to engage throughout the week with resources I provide and through sharing our stories in the community and more importantly through offering support and encouragement to others. These are the ways I offer others to feel connected in this work and deepen how we are changing old relationship habits. The various Worksheets and Handouts I provide in the community are designed also to invite self-reflection and hone in on what specific areas we need to change in order to not be so hooked into attachment distress. The videos in the video library as well as all the daily memes and also the daily encouragement videos reinforce this bigger design of the program. Each item in this program was purposefully designed and chosen to work together and fit together as a complementary system. If members choose to engage the instructions and fully participate on a regular basis, then they will see how this is a holistic approach to answering your question. Please consider joining us! www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@carissajae2410]

I feel called out... but thank you for this content ♥

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Hopefully it's a good kind of called out. I'm glad you like this content.

[@rubystaging237]

I knew that, I figured it out for myself. I studied myself thru my own observations, and let me tell you it was a mother!!! if you know what I mean. and Alan gave us the key " slow down and think.

[@damon123jones]

fantastic Alan

[@lpereira7866]

geez..... ......I swear you're in my head!!

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Glad my work speaks to you.

[@lpereira7866]

@@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma like nothing else! Thank you 🙏🏼

[@cherylthompson2731]

In my youth, I took my time. Months, years and then I became careless. Iam working on getting back to who I used to be.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

I hear you. Glad this video resonated for you. Many of us can relate. This is something we talk about in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. I invite you joining us: www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@madriwillemian5768]

This has been helping me so much

[@brookeslattery8445]

Yeah I might have misunderstood your previous videos and said they were all contradictory to each other but at the time I was in denial about my part in this mess of a relationship, I have some work to do. But right now I am in pain.

[@TheBajanerika]

This is so on point for me it is scary

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

glad it resonates. So important we keep talking about these patterns and building awareness.

[@mariandionneusa]

😂😂 “we don’t even know the person” facts!!

[@bellea3028]

Dang, truth bomb 😕

[@shantelsmith8763]

So much applied to the story of my life.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Glad you connected with this one. Thanks for feedback. Please also share this video with friends.

[@bonniey7299]

This video has been so helpful 😁

[@brent2040]

very true

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

glad this video resonates. Thanks for the comments. If you like this content and would like to learn more about what drives these dynamics then you may also like the course, The Four Attachment Distress Responses. Take the quiz to learn more: www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz

[@meganmorais5240]

Thank you for this wonderfully informative video. it's helping so much with the initial confusion over my diagnosis & has imparted a lot of insight on at least how to best prevent retraumatization/getting into unhealthy relationships

[@dianasin7963]

This is really hard to hear and accept as you said, I need help, I’m suffering right now for unrequited love. He lies to me and still I believe his lies...

[@ShirahGodsSong]

This a a great revelation for me and I am definitely guilty. I'm emotionally unavailable (hyper). And I have been attracting the same.

[@melissad.6722]

I love your videps. Might be a bit uncomfortable to hear at poinrs but alsopiberating to know if i am co creating i can do something about it not waste more of my life wait8ng for them to change and make me feel loved feel better

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Glad you love the videos. Thank you for the meaningful comment. I agree, it's helpful knowing there are options.

[@jolanta3519]

Thanks very much

[@westkootenaywild7658]

Wow. Unbelievable insight.

[@guacgirl]

Im being called out 🙈 lol. I'm trying to get better tho 💕

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Glad you resonated with this video. Please also share it with friends who may like it.

[@scphotogirl]

You are so awesome, Alan :)

[@harmonyv1736]

Yes Thank You Thank You Thank You

[@danielc5205]

I lost a girl that I really loved by moving too fast. I'd be lying if I said that this doesn't keep me up at night and that I don't think about her constantly.

[@valfle]

Hope you are ok now :)

[@rev.jimjonesandthekool-aid4488]

Dodged a bullet.

[@angelalorenz218]

Hi, you do a great job!!! Greetings from the other side of the ocean, France 😘

[@amparopaez616]

Hello Alan It looks like you took a picture of my emotional side.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Amparo, I hear you. It might be interesting to explore what you are learning from your emotional side. Thanks for the comment.

[@marino5652]

Can you give us some time frame. How long to date before relationship?

[@ClaysArtFacePainting]

Hi Alan, I love it. Your work it's Amazing. Could you please tell us how to reseat emotional calibration?

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thanks for the feedback. Glad to hear you love this content. Resetting emotional calibration is something that can be explored in the Improve Your Relationships Community Program www.alanrobarge.com/community The community is built on a Self-Directed Healing approach which means members get to choose what they need to focus on. It can be helpful learning with others who are also learning. Members have reported learning a lot from the discussions. Consider starting a conversation or joining in with the others.

[@iKayTheOne]

Thank you!

[@irenageorgieva8011]

I don’t feel my emotional calibration equates to feeling emotional unavailability as love. I had emotionally unavailable parents and I hated it through and through. I couldn’t wait to get out and find people to bond with. I still got with unavailable partners when I grew up though usually because either they pressured me into it, people gave me bad advices and convinced me to stay when I started noticing things I didn’t like (by people I mean my helpful mother) and because when I became finally sure I dislike this person and that they are toxic to me the person didn’t let me leave. Also having had sex with them played a huge role, because it bonds and creates a desire to stay. So why did that happen? I’m not emotionally unavailable. I connect with friends just fine

[@cataa6077]

I'm in the exact same situation

[@cataa6077]

Is it that we subconsciously choose what's familiar?

[@cataa6077]

Omg I feel attacked! Lol amazing info!!!

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Glad that deeply resonated for you. Thanks for valuing my work. If you are not subscribed to the channel, please do. Also let your friends know about this video. Thanks.

[@MoonHuntressMetaphysics]

How can I contact you?

[@nicolameikle8737]

I definitely see my own issues are making my relationships dramatically fail 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

[@lars1296]

I dated a guy who was fun and extroverted. But emotionally unavailable. Hard to spot sometimes.

[@bunnybeaner]

You're right, that was hard to hear.

[@Paarthurnaxdova]

What is that clear ball on a stick over your left shoulder? It’s in every video and I can’t figure it out..

[@Worldly40]

Well, you talked about unknowingly selecting an emotionally unavailable partner, but how did we do that?

[@ClaysArtFacePainting]

Emotional unavailable partners are familiar... Indeed it's easier for us to relate to them. Just tried to take a inventory of past relationships, make notes of past and present red flags, try to define your values, lear about boundaries, and how to love yourself. It may take practice, dedication, and time but it's so worth it. Anyway Just keep living but take control of your life.

[@kdog345-69]

So, how do you 'reset'?

[@TheAzerbijian]

“I know this is hard to hear...”. 😝😝. Understatement. Must have humor.

[@nicoleo6422]

Of course we chose the unavailable partner. We have unfinished business. Want to heal

[@s.r.4029]

So how to you "recalibrate" the emotional aspect of yourself? I do always pick unavailable unknowingly. And even if they are available in the beginning I somehow make them unavailable eventually lol

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

I see you resonated with this video. Thanks for the question. It's challenging to answer directly because there are many personal factors to consider. This is the kind of question you can explore in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships www.alanrobarge.com/community I welcome you joining us.

[@nomadicrecovery1586]

I’m screwed

[@annak332]

Is there any way/ form I can have contact with you or just speak to you about somethings? Im in so much pain/struggling so much and your videos are the only thing that resonate with me

[@Ariusa]

I'm 4 months into dating someone...and I already revealed a lot about me...thinking I was being honest and open....before i go further, and because I'm already starting to feel terrible....is there a way to save this?

[@tadejsusta]

Thank you for the videos Alan, they are helpful. You say, that an insecurely attached person picks a person, that is unavailable (or he was, but isn't anymore) -- what do you mean by that, how is that other person unavailable? Emotionally, or is already in a relationship? And how can this person become unavailable, if at first he was available? Thanks

[@iwishyouknew3413]

Tadej Sustarsic It could be their lack of insight, understanding and empathy for someone once the relationship has past the " oxytocin levels or honeymoon phase ends".' There is also so many things that could be the source such as my own husband, when we got married and moved for his career opportunity, which caused high stress and anxiety. He definitely didn't know how to make decisions that were healthy and he was not adapting to the dysfunctional ways of relating at work when he was surrounded by a small group of high profile professionals in a start up billion dollar company, they were power hungry and out of control testosterone type A"s who are volatile and competitive. It seeped into our marriage and I couldn't or didn't even try to make him change or see something what he is seeing. I am gone now. It's the most painful experience bc I talked in circles and it got nowhere near the outcome. I know he was available for three years prior to this change of events. I can't say for sure what your current situation is but I wanted to comment. Good luck with your relationship.

[@donditheblondie9758]

Wow. Yes. That's me. Always, always, always. I hone in on emotional retards. I over invest. Hyper available. Omg. Me. Every single word of this. Thank you. Yes.

[@melisamartin5962]

The sound is off

[@missamericausa]

👍👍

[@alisontill7677]

Relationship boyfriend happy Jessica till thanks

[@myperidot12]

Sir, i truely wish you would help me by talk to me just one time help me verify my husband is so unreasonble...i really need your help. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@myperidot12]

Im sad and verbally abused

[@destinyadriana]

🙏🙏🙏🙌🙌🙌🙌

[@ClaysArtFacePainting]

😳

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Yes.

[@aruvielevenstar3944]

Me, me, me

[@johng.4959]

Spot on. Interesting to know and see this perspective.