1 of the Most Difficult Ego Battles in BJJ (People Don’t Talk About)

[@AntoineFabri]

Low expectations, high standards. I'm stealing this.

[@adamkozio5189]

Bro I play football all life and never heard of that one before. Its so damn good

[@rstlr01]

I trained 3 months for my first WB Absolute comp and took gi gold. The whole plan was to have my kids see me lose so they don’t feel so bad in their wrestling tournaments. I was super relaxed with no stress and I won. Then I signed up for a sub only blue belt GI absolute and won that 2 months later. Now going into my third absolute Comp in 10 months hunting for my first loss. As guy on the wrong side of 40 that trains one day a week my expectations are always low.😂

[@AntoineFabri]

I can relate 😂. 1st comp I was like, why is everyone so worried about this ego thing, it's just like rolling during training, I must be very strong mentally I guess. Fast forward 2 or 3 competitions later just opening Smooth Comp increases my heart rate significantly 😅.

[@drgalvanimd]

I always lose and get smashed, so can't relate much. 😛

[@DanielRevolt]

We all do bro. We all do.

[@Chewjitsu]

Give it time

[@JBDacasinJr]

Sometimes you're the nail and sometimes you're the nail.

[@BlackSunOfNile]

@@Chewjitsu how muuuch ?! :)

[@eliasvermetten2720]

Yea same

[@Haraldo-l7w]

Worst instance of this being a lifetime bjj’er, ex mma fighter, black belt, but 42 and sparring competitive 22 yr old purple belts.

[@brisoler]

Wow Chewy thank you. I’ve been training for a year and a half and just won a local comp. For some reason I have been worrying about getting promoted instead of just trusting the process. Great video and helps a lot

[@davidjonesgriz]

Great video. I’ve struggled with this before. Not necessarily at local tournaments but going to Masters Worlds 2024 I felt a lot of pressure on myself. The biggest takeaway is I spent a lot of tournaments trying not to lose instead of trying to win. I pay good money to get good training on the tournament mats but then wasted it trying not to lose. That’s one of the benefits I’ve found since making my channel. Knowing I’m going to post the video has forced me to go for more of my techniques whether I get them or not I’m going to try. And that’s making it a better experience for myself 🤙🏻

[@vaughngene]

Well said, I think it can be applied to just about anything in life too. Give it your all, but not attaching your identity to the outcome.

[@evanpresutto]

Chewy, in the words of coach zahabi… you’re a gentleman and a scholar. Thanks for the valuable content.

[@christopherb7518]

This is a life philosophy which if realised, will help reduce your sufferings on this earth. Jiu Jitsu can be used as a constant practice for this valuable lesson.

[@KazzArie]

Aside from competing the biggest eye opener is visiting another gym’s open mat. Then it hits you they have a different curriculum. Yours and theirs have their strengths and weaknesses.

[@voodoo2130]

The same applies to striking ,too. I train in boxing, and after 4 fights, I once felt like I have to perform better than someone with 0 fights. But eventually I learnt that no matter how many fights someone had, they will always have something to teach me, and vice versa. Someone could have trained their entire lives without a single competition, but have sparred with really experienced people, can still give those with double digit competitions a decent challenge.

[@rigoconcillion7876]

So, I have the same problem. I won gold in a tournament and the next year I got silver. However, I felt better with the silver because I was able to achieve the techniques I was practicing and my first ever submission in a tournament. I think my mindset of just doing what I've been working on really helped.

[@jah96]

This is why i love this channel. Chew always brings up the topics everyones to scared to address

[@johndouglas1294]

After my final match in JJWL Worlds, I got silver..... didn't bug me in the slightest. The other guy (gold medalist) had a very slick judo toss. I asked him if he can show it to me. He didn't even hesitate..... showed small key points and everything. I go out there, just to have fun. I give zero shit about the outcome. I'm a blue belt, if my only opponent available is a seasoned black belt. So, be it, lets do it!!!

[@ijustwannaleaveacommentony6511]

yes!

[@Rodneydncn]

I really needed to hear this. That passage from "The Birth and death of Meaning" was spot on. I've been beating myself up pretty badly bc so much of my stuff needs repair. I DIY everything bc it takes a while to figure out how to fix these things. Lately, I look around and see nothing but failures. It's had me down tbh. Thanks again for the good information Chewy!

[@adamthatguy454]

Sometimes you're the hammer, sometimes you're the nail. Have to get used to being both.

[@nicobritz5162]

I REALLY needed to hear this . Awesome advice thank you Chewy

[@Martial-Mat]

The opposite problem can be that when you win, you are not forced to consider your weaknesses and work on improving them.

[@ijustwannaleaveacommentony6511]

you win or you learn

[@ijustwannaleaveacommentony6511]

nice to hear you reference lovato jr i really like him, he's one of the best

[@VebiSopi]

Glad you covered it. I feel the same way,

[@Good.shepherd420]

I am casual now a days. We have a big strong blue belt who is making a run at worlds that keeps me humble.

[@slavicvolk]

He should be a purple if he’s that good

[@thefingerboardingdad]

Expectations are the root of all disappointment - Michael Scott probably

[@JMU365]

Your expectations have taken the driver seat of your life. So true 😮

[@CarMad97ci]

The way I temper my ego on rolling is 80% of the time, go for highlight reel stuff, the big sweeps, the slick submissions etc etc. So if I get it, I say to myself “well that wasn’t fair, because I was rolling with someone smaller, not as skilled etc etc, so no point stroking my ego on that”, and if I miss it, I say “well I’m going for highlight reel stuff, of course it’s not going to work against a good guy like this”, and idk, I feel like that works for me :) That, and telling people what I’m going for, and then trying to hit only that submission 😂

[@5RRRtarRiver]

Holy crap you like Ernest Becker. Utmost respect. Didn’t know you went deep like that.

[@devonwebster2662]

Thanks for the vid Chewy!

[@RandyFromOhio]

I had my first comp in September, managed to get gold in the Gi and Nogi winning all 5 of my matches (4 subs and 1 points). Nothing really prepared me for how nervous I felt that day though. But for my next comp I feel like I’ll be the opposite as I now know I can lock in when the time is right. Plus who cares if you lose? You still got in there, just try learn from what you lost because of! That was my mindset before my first comp (still didn’t help the nerves but may help yours 😂)

[@chadslater3521]

I think this answers my question. Thx brother

[@msdunkel]

"Good thing" about being a successful 53 YO casual competition brown belt is even an average 20-something blue/purple belt will smash me in practice. Rolled with a former D1 conference champion wrestler yesterday and he choked me twice -- guy has been rolling for 4 months. I also always remind myself that the other guys in my bracket didn't fly out to Vegas thinking they're going to lose. I certainly want to win every tournament I enter but a billion people in China don't care, my wins don't put food on the table, my losses don't make those closest to me love me any less.

[@raherql]

I have always said it thusly: Gentleness is the province of the strong.

[@imactuallyimmortal]

Nice, needed to hear that

[@mwithers13]

Chewy I’m so drunk off competing that even after I lose a tournament match I still feel like I’ve won

[@BrianBHedlund]

I got 99 problems but this ain't one

[@FloPiet]

I don't know how many problems I have, because mathematics is one of them

[@petteriheino9856]

Well, I took two losses last weekend. My own weight class and open. I still had good time and now know a couple of more things that I need to improve. Of course I'm not that competitive to start with.

[@Arcadianx98]

As a new blue belt I didn’t want to compete against senior blues, so I waited. Now I’m a 4 stripe blue and have the pressure of competing and potentially losing to new blues. There’s always going to be a psychological aspect no matter what stage you’re in. Just ignore it

[@the.fillacademy]

How about a Submission Sage! - Because they're always ready with sage wisdom when they feel the tap approaching.

[@pedagogybjj]

Good stuff.

[@JohnKing-yr7xn]

I don't mind getting tapped. It happens/happened often. I *do* get aggro when the one tapping me is weirdly arrogant or trying to prove some point to someone else. For context I'm a 6'2" 290-300lb Judo brown belt with college wrestling as a base. I visited an Jits academy where this one purple belt lady was strutting around calling herself a giant killer. She was brutally cranking these 2 heavyset gentlemen (not releasing to the tap/Cranking locks). She made her way STRAIGHT to me during a round (I was fresh, and nobody knew anything about me.) She tried to pull me into her guard and I violently knee sliced and held her in the most heaviest kesa gatame I could. She almost fainted and got up swearing and complained to the head coach. I apologized to him and he was shockingly chill about it. Then he and I rolled and he tapped my 6 times in under 30 seconds🤣🤣🤣 so I took my lickin' like a man. It's okay to tap and be tapped. It's not okay to SMESH and Bully on the mats.

[@zeehutt7876]

Kron Gracie said something like how his matches are just the extensions of his training.

[@josephwinnard6666]

Classic Stoic philosophy. Its a beautiful thing 😁

[@Mus4shi15]

Ernest Becker! Denial of Death is another good one he wrote.

[@Chewjitsu]

It's a good book.

[@aaroncrothers3603]

When I ask God to be with me and open my heart to him. “Be my teacher today. I’m ready to learn”. Stop listening to yourself and others. Seriously ask him for anything and he will answer.

[@user-vc6]

The way I handle winning streaks is too focus on doing my best jiu jitsu possible and if i lose ( ive never lost When ive lived up to my training room best ) the guy was legitimately better n I wouldn’t care … I only care about actually preforming my best jiu jitsu because it’s good and it ll take very good jitsu to best it ( I started in 2005 so lord knows I put in the time )

[@kravmagaCDK]

Ask Gordon Ryan that same question

[@cheesethems8981]

Chewy I just ate a pb & j with a cup of water for breakfast , is this a w ?

[@ilustradorel-javi5566]

Could Chewy get to CGI 2?

[@Clonewars56]

You guys are winning!?

[@shaneroberts2492]

Competed as a white belt with some wins, 6 years as a blue now with no comps, get beat up enough in the gym don’t want an even bigger audience 🤣🤣

[@carlostimoshenkorodrigueslopes]

Memento mori

[@darrentupman8143]

Ye i hate that perk utter woke nonsense warzone changed cod for the worst in bo3 it was a specialist that could see footsteps now theres perks where you can see them and see enemies literally through the wall when you spawn in?