10 Dangerous Homemade Automatic Firewood Processing Machine, Wood Cutting Machine Splitting Firewood

10 Dangerous Homemade Automatic Firewood Processing Machine, Wood Cutting Machine Splitting Firewood

[@yetidynamics]

nothing screams safety like a rapidly spinning axe on a giant wheel next to all sorts of loose rope

[@michaelscarn7375]

Golden comment

[@chrisspence3216]

Add Head high and crocks with stocks lol

[@chrisspence3216]

@UCin3rTlFm8xf51dtCmYwROA lol I agree

[@chrisspence3216]

Bet that dude is missing teeth and in the video ya can see a split log fall on his crocs must have the steel toe model

[@knightowl5729]

How many fingers does he have left🤔

[@greggd2027]

2:00 - earmuffs required so that you don't hear yourself scream when your arm gets chopped off

[@naterussell6025]

worried about hearing protection but wearing shorts and crocs using the machine of death.

[@TheOldPioneer]

Underrated comment.

[@EnlightenedRogue24]

🤣🤣🤣🤣👍

[@mybestpartnerofficial9760]

ROFL 🤣 I cried myself to sleep with this comment ! It’s so true and so sad at the same time 😂😂😂😂

[@sammyjohnson8109]

Genuine lol

[@asnail6550]

I’ve tried to come up with a idea to make #2 more dangerous maybe attaching random fireing shotguns or hand grenades.

[@lanpingpug]

The fact that you have to push the wood towards the wildly spinning blade then retreat in the hope it doesn't brain you with each flying log is pure insanity.

[@maggs131]

He's so proud of that monstrosity too. Guy is a complete maniac. Oh BTW I think I shat myself laughing at your term "being brained"

[@emptiester]

Thats after the rope insanity. Theres multiple phases of insanity.

[@jeroenverbeeck7925]

One day his wife will find him in the yard with a log impaled in his face... This is madness

[@lanpingpug]

@@jeroenverbeeck7925 And it will be his own selfish fault!

[@jedifabri]

I didn’t get past the second machine started laughing and went straight to the comments

[@BornHandy]

Same here!!!!

[@jaberwoky_]

Ya, the first was pretty good but omg - what the fuck?!

[@shannonknable]

I'm in the same boat. What was he smoking before he built that thing?

[@careecaree5341]

same xD..and he have crocks on....darwin award winner for sure

[@Baer1990]

ngl it looks very well build and finished you'd think he could build something better then what this is. Skilled yes, brain no

[@JanTuts]

First guy: "slow and steady wins the race" Second guy: "YOLO!"

[@erkthejerkjerk5024]

Lol

[@TheOriginalHeisenberg]

😂😂😂😂

[@RoboBeaver6]

YOLB You Only Live Briefly

[@jeyy_plays]

I know right? Gimme low-speed torque over high speed any day. Especially with loose rope hanging right next to the wheel!

[@jeffmoore9487]

@@jeyy_plays There is nothing sensible at all in that design. The thing requires large body movements towards the blade with perfect timing every time, and its still throwing billets at you.

[@paulancill3872]

I am fascinated by the fact that he uses ear defenders with all the other dangers!

[@bobcousins4810]

He's ok with being ripped apart, but doesn't want to hear himself screaming while it happens. That would be the worst.

[@vondrewvious1]

Don't forget the crocs on his feet

[@lajkaboy]

the machine is so quiet, noise is the last think to worry about

[@PavolFilek]

Nothing can distract him from the beautiful work.

[@mafiacat88]

Alright that first one actually looks pretty good. You'll lose something if you get your hand in front of the splitter, but it moves pretty slow and seems no more dangerous than a table saw. The second one looks like it hungers for human flesh and is taking out its anger on the logs. I would NOT want to be anywhere near that.

[@EazzyBeezie]

😂

[@olddirtypelican]

If the first one had the silhouette for the blade to pass through removed it would be much safer

[@chriswelcome8102]

Title: 10 dangerous homemade automatic firewood processing machine Actual video: Sorry, I don't know how to count

[@nonyadamnbusiness9887]

Second machine was under counted, should be 13 Dangerous Machines.

[@chriswelcome8102]

@@nonyadamnbusiness9887 Hahaha. That guy is a fucking fool

[@peterk.6093]

Every gun consists of four basic parts. These are the names of all three of them: 1. stock, 2. barrel.

[@Rimrock300]

There were 6 that didn't made it until the end of this video. Just don't ask about further details. Belive me.

[@TheFarmacySeedsNetwork]

thank you!

[@LaszloBencze]

The only significant design flaw of machine number two is the lack of a concentric teflon shield to protect the pivot bearing against the influx of blood and other body fluids which can cause rust and clogging. With this modification the machine would be well protected from user error and provide many minutes of function per operator.

[@stringlarson1247]

Hahahaha. I spit milk outta my nose and I'm not even drinking milk. Well played, sir.

[@57Jimmy]

But, at least he was wearing shorts, crocs and work socks!🤣

[@la.pas.503]

I keep coming back to see this hellhound but you accurately described how the mfpo could be improved. Thank you for coming up with this unit to rate the beast.

[@DorkyThorpy]

Painfully hard laughter ensued.

[@billh7374]

I disagree, he could have considered wearing orange gloves to see where his hand landed when sliced off at great speed

[@jehu1313]

It's been three years since this upload and I'm genuinely curious if the guy in the second clip is still alive.

[@fallingwater]

He is, or at least was as of two months ago. He has a youtube channel and that's when the last video was posted. Look him up - MrKent317

[@jfer3706]

The second guy is a damn genius. I hope they start selling these at Home Depot and Lowe’s.

[@khofakyerself]

The second guy is a proud graduate of the Wile E. Coyote School of Design.

[@timhoran3887]

Lol

[@franckyjouveniau3620]

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

[@AmericanFreedom911]

Anyone know if he is still alive?

[@brettmuller4674]

Dam straight. I'd rather swing an axe. Thats a lot of machine for so much work and to have a 40 pound block smack you in the chin.

[@krisscheuch8151]

Dude build that machine for his ex-wife.

[@peters2620]

2nd guy put a lot of good engineering and metalworking knowledge into making one of the most dangerous machines ever created

[@Jijhebtmijnnaamnietnodig]

The French would love it

[@elonmust7470]

It's not even efficient.

[@MattS-pv6mk]

The ooold Binford 2000

[@marcusread6271]

You've never seen my 80 year old dad with my splitting axe....ooshh!! I've a hydraulic heavy duty splitter that runs off a hydraulic power pack that he refuses to use. Instead he prefers to dance with the reaper on every swing!

[@MattS-pv6mk]

@@marcusread6271 splitting wood with a splitting axe and a maul feels therapeutic. I'm 60 and hope I'm still walking the planet at 80 like your Dad let alone dancing with the reaper (good one btw👍).

[@allantaylor606]

Am I the only guy that finds splitting wood with an axe the most satisfying work there is? Some of the wood in the video had no knots and would have been a joy to split...

[@Jin88866]

I like how you can clearly see the way technology and progress changed these machines. The third one is clearly from the early 1900s, and just a century later humans were able to create a machine (the second one) that's at least 100 times more dangerous and a lot more energy efficient at splitting logs, cutting limbs off, knocking you off with flying pieces of logs, etc.

[@Wen6543]

I just can´t understand how incredibly dangerous the second one is, i mean, it belongs to a Saw movie, a terror gore movie, a trully suicide machine, they even put the rope near the giant wheel. And is not even efficient nor faster, the have to lift like 1.5 meter the logs to be splited... i don´t know, it has everything wrong, maybe it was constructed to make a viral video.

[@annespacedroid]

That second one is the very rare widowmaker 5000. 10th owner in 2 years.

[@instytute]

on sale now for a bargain price

[@SenselessUsername]

@@instytute Heirloom handed down from resentful wife to resentful wife.

[@Ritchiet]

This comment was too funny :D

[@dodgeplow]

please disregard any red marks

[@benpluta6187]

At least he wore hearing protection:-)

[@briansymmes7917]

The instructions on the second machine say “ Correct use of this machine will result in death and/or serious injury.”

[@SenselessUsername]

"P.S.: incorrect use, also. P.P.S.: simply considering using it, probably also; we couldn't read the test report b/c too much congealed blood on it."

[@kaasmeester5903]

"Warning: this machine is known to the state of California to cause cancer, brain damage, missing appendages, crushed toes and or testicles, strangulation, and drowsiness"

[@SenselessUsername]

@@kaasmeester5903 I think Twitter would label that comment as "substantially untrue", especially the "cancer"... I would confidently state to the opposite: No user of this machine has or ever will die from cancer or old age. Mostly because of the violent dismemberments etc you mention.

[@kaasmeester5903]

@@SenselessUsername Looking at that abomination gave ME cancer :)

[@Tjalve70]

"Simply considering using this machine will, eventually, lead to some kind of horrific death due to the obvious inability to assess danger."

[@SynomDroni]

For the 2nd machine I recommend adding a second wedge to the wheel to shorten the interval between death-hammer strikes. Imagine how much quicker chopping chop chop!

[@terrykrall]

Shortening life expectancy of the user by 50 percent!

[@littlerayofsunshine69]

Crocs: The most underrated piece of safety equipment on the face of the earth and for good reason.

[@austinrobinson6042]

I had to stop reading the comments to catch my breath and dry the tears from my face. I've never laughed so hard in my 30 years. To the man in the second video, if you're still alive and in one piece please start your own KZbin channel and upload more footage of your Wheel of Misfortune in action.

[@laurencew5220]

Same here I have been using machines for 52years I wouldn't go anywhere near any of these

[@slavensmolcic]

I haven't been crying for so long like now reading comments about that guy and his crocs. :-D

[@maggs131]

NOOOO! I encourage creativity and inventiveness but this is actually awful and it should be destroyed in lava and our memory erased of ever seeing this mechanical nightmare

[@onillonill5192]

@@laurencew5220 what problem with 1 and 3 ?

[@couchsurfer2856]

You said it perfectly..lololol!!!!!

[@robertregalado5662]

the second guy the guy with the flywheel axe, somebody should go in there and stop him... :-) I mean seriously :-)

[@peterk.6093]

It seems to me too late after the video was published.

[@felineboy]

The machine will

[@lil.sp00ntheproffit41]

No way he’s alive to this day

[@johngillon6969]

The ass hole needs a covid mask. Jesus how dangerous can you get.

[@patrickc1508]

He’s not even using a 2x4 or anything as a push stuck. Dude’s got a death wish!!!! I’m all for making something that works with what you have instead of buying something expensive, but there are a million better and safer ways to split wood.

[@truenorth1355]

The second one is completely savage! Off the charts dangerous!😂😂

[@f4ckutube]

"The machine has to be treated like a wild animal, with confidence and respect". An actual comment from death splitter designer I read many years ago.

[@seeingdragons4319]

That second machine has layers and layers of amazing stupidity. I'm assuming the guy is dead by now.

[@yorkcat1973]

@Seeing Dragons I was thinking of making a comment about the 2nd machine and the hopeless fool operating it but the list of things that are nightmarishly wrong would be too long. The first wasn't too bad, consisting of no guards on the belts, operator standing in line with the force, no shield for the operator, hands-on/near work while splitting, children near the work area.

[@ostapbendervan7874]

when he.starts.the.rope waiting to lasso him send.machine.to China.we.have a kill cull

[@jessebrown5715]

The rope just dangling precariously next to the uncovered spokes of the giant wheel. The trust in the weld to hold whatever piece of metal he is using to knock the logs. The audacity!

[@alssap3388]

@@jessebrown5715 This is not Courage! This is the Darwin Award! Stupidity multiplied by Zeal!

[@yorkcat1973]

@3:43 Or at least unable to produce another generation.

[@Dirtbiker-guy]

After watching the second machine, I went outside and hugged my heat pump.

[@JohnJohnson-bg2oo]

Hahahahaha! That guy isn't all there is he? He'll be called lefty before too long!

[@ChristopherBloom]

"That guy isn't all there is he?" Soon.

[@JohnJohnson-bg2oo]

@@ChristopherBloom 🖕

[@afvet5075]

Now that is funny. Lol!

[@7heRedBaron]

He put on ear muffs to protect his hearing. Meanwhile, one log flew off and hit him in the nutz.

[@StefanKirby]

I really like the first one. The second one is insane. Though I'm frankly impressed at the level of design effort that went into constructing that suicide machine.

[@maggs131]

There isn't one thing on #2 that is admirable or impressive in any way shape or form. Welding a cleaver to a wheel and making it spin is childsplay. This guy is a certified maniac and that mechanical abomination needs to be melted like the terminator

[@bobsyeruncle5557]

The second one is surely the most dangerous machine I have ever seen. I can’t believe that anyone would put their hands anywhere near it.

[@unsafe_at_any_speed]

Gave me the Heebie Jeebies just watching the guy!

[@slugmaster64]

Guy #2: “better put my protective ear muffs on.” Machine #2: Fires logs at his bare legs and Croc’d feet

[@TheOneWhoMightBe]

Safety fifth!

[@jheetman]

his capstan winch setup to pull the logs up the ramp was brilliant, every single other thing was the exact opposite.

[@JACJAC70]

Well, at least he knows HOW he is going to die, if not when.

[@ninataylor6180]

@@JACJAC70 hahaha priceless comment

[@leoneljm]

I love how you just made crocs a verb

[@vincent7520]

Second machine is an excellent Darwin Award candidate.

[@1978garfield]

A lot of work was done by someone to make something so ridiculously dangerous. I see him getting a Croc caught in the rope and being pulled in to the wheel of death sideways.

[@alssap3388]

Ahahaha!)))) Really. Is he still alive ??? The initial costs are amazing! - It is not cheap! This is just such a flywheel, somewhere else you need to find !!! This hellish wheel can easily be disposed of old car stuff! I look, and I have frost on my skin !!! ((((

[@XJ550CAFE]

I was just going to type the same thing, hahaha. I did like the capstan winch though.

[@user-tw1gy5sz3q]

Absolutely...))

[@sloassmac]

Yep, took the words out of my mouth.

[@Awol991]

I like the way #2 works for smaller pieces. Throw the pieces under the blade and try to dodge the split pieces as they come flying back.

[@emceeboogieboots1608]

6, 7, 8, 9 and 10 were absolutely bananas!😱

[@JG-fe1gx]

The second machine was a present from his wife, right after he got a large life insurance policy.

[@stanisawk1385]

Oh, Mr. engineer! Huge mistake. What a stupid machine? He hits the wood, the splinters fly wherever they like, and the Lord has neither special glasses nor strong shoes. TRAGEDY. BOTTOM AND SEAWEED!

[@dirtyharry6741]

Jonas Grumbie fucking oath

[@phenixevelyphd2149]

It was good to see the guy with the giant wheel of death log splitter was wearing his safety crocs.

[@kubasc]

... with socks.

[@stoveboltlvr3798]

LOL, giant wheel of death!...I know that's an E.R. visit waiting to happen.

[@stevedurrant1504]

The best of it is that as was demonstrated by the first machine, you don't even need that thing to be going at that speed. Just enough torque and a narrow enough cutting edge is enough.

[@hmax1591]

and hearing protection.....got to give him half a point for that.

[@grassblade2]

Hmmm .....Crox N Sox? Kinda.....arousing....'Preferably on a chick tho! Add a pigtail strawberry blond wig and we have Liftoff!

[@jfd889]

and the design of the year award goes to no2... his widow will accept it on his behalf

[@mfc4591]

What is so strange is how proud the owners are of these dangerous machines are. Pride and an armless man don't go hand in hand !

[@tutekohe1361]

I love the second machine, it is so wildly, ridiculously, unfeasibly dangerous on every level that it has reached the peak of crazy. Operating it would be like being a WW1 pilot, your life-span measured in hours. Watching someone operate it would be like going to the Coliseum - an amputation is inevitable.

[@brendanlove3388]

The way it pops a ~40lb chunk of tree trunk directly at his face while he safety-squints away from it in his crocs. Then he gets hit in the leg by another giant chunk like an idiot. I cannot believe what I just saw.

[@charlesbrown8555]

At least he was wearing safety slippers!

[@percreig]

When you see that you know that mankind has no future.

[@codeblue2532]

@@brendanlove3388 :: true that, Brendan ! He looks like he may have a few Corona Extras while WoodButchering, ensuring disaster;;;no shin~guards…but with SafetyCrocs and EarGuards…lol . Imo: just SLOWING DOWN the flywheel to half the rpm’s could stabilize his manually feeding of the ‘splits’ to the AxeWedge.

[@murphy13295]

My thinking was , at least the open frame gives easy access to retrieve severed digits .

[@rantional8180]

watched the first vid was like "that's not so bad" ....2nd video was a spinning wheel of death built by a man in cargo shorts and crocs....

[@chrisgsauce]

Don't worry they are steel toe crocs

[@jamiemacdonald3815]

The frist one worked good i think and it was safe to

[@melvinyosten3776]

Well would ya look at these crazy sumbitches

[@digitaldoom3593]

And socks ... he can use those to stop the bleeding..

[@theonlybuzz1969]

Derrick Woodward more like absorb the blood. LoL

[@Rythsi300]

I particularly like the way the guy operating the second machine is Mr “Safety first” with the goggles, gloves and ear protection. I too would be mostly concerned about how loud it is and the risk of splinters.

[@Esuper1]

The big ferris-wheel looking contraption with all the loose ropes and death traps and whatnot is the invention of Mad Matt. Legend has it that a chunk of wood was flipped up in the air and hit Matt in the head. Mad Matt was last seen waking up and wandering straight into the wilderness from where he hasn't returned or been seen since.

[@briannotafan3368]

the wheel of death is killin me i can't stop laughing at it throw a log on it & run

[@coopstripes]

hahahahaha

[@rudymental9993]

What’s the worst that could happen😳

[@phantom21629]

At least he had his safety crocs on.

[@Luke-lv1zy]

I can't stop watching it either. That chunk to the bare shin hurt, he just played it off

[@lorand-edmondiszlai9416]

most random machine that i saw...

[@rrine42]

I love how the second one was so crazy dangerous that literally every single comment in the comment section is about it.

[@briannotafan3368]

who' reading all of the comments during covid 19 for a laugh

[@rrine42]

@@briannotafan3368 the second guy with the giant Wheel of death. Lol

[@vsk2377]

It's such a remarkably dangerous design, that it's almost like he asked "what's the most violent way I can split wood, while also cutting wood in crocs?"

[@mihanivazn2373]

there are few others that actualy know how to count, coz creator of this video obviously cant.

[@franckyjouveniau3620]

@@briannotafan3368 got popcorn and reading mode ON

[@HowardRoark-jo7ik]

I love how the 2nd guy puts on gloves and hearing protection. Ya know, for safety.

[@briancooper4959]

Holy sugar stars. That second one looks unbelievably dangerous. I used to think that some of the contraptions my grandfather had on the farm when I was a kid were dangerous (Okay, they were) but WOW! This thing would be called unsafe in a third-world country. What if the slack in that rope gets caught in the flywheel? The machine regularly throws wood pieces at you. As for the operator: No safety glasses, no face shield, short pants, AND HE'S WEARING CLOGS!!!! But he has hearing protection.

[@Wen6543]

I love that rope, like the cherry on the cake, like "mmmmhhhh, not dangerous enough, maybe i´ll add a rope here... there, fantastic". Maybe that machine was made to create a viral video, still the guy behind that monstruosity and the ones that use it are morons in the extreme.

[@MrPendell]

2nd machine warrants a whole new category in the Darwin awards. I assume the monster ring gears landed in his lap free of charge and he designed the thing around using those as his flywheel, but the amount of obviously new and expensive material, and the time and effort expended in putting together this suicidal monstrosity frankly beggars belief. The log lift friction rope mechanism takes what was just stupid and intensely dangerous and elevates it to a whole new level, and the crocs just add that extra soupçon of idiocy to the whole thing.

[@nos9784]

The rope is propably the safest part of it all- the shaft aint that fast, so, uhm... its not as scary as the rest of the mackine :D

[@anthonyeyolfson1701]

I laughed and continue laughing at these comments! Too funny!

[@Telephonebill51]

Well, it was stupid! The mass of the wheel could have stayed on the shaft, but the blades didn't have to be on the perimeter, they could have been on the axle.

[@KarlHeinzSpock]

platin darwin award

[@Thor_Odinson]

yikes.....I didn't see the crocs since that flywheel monstrosity had my entire attention

[@RandyBoBandy.]

At least that second guy may be able to get his arm reattached. Looks like when the machine severs it, it will be relatively clean cut with the chunk of wood knocking him unconscious. Gives the EMT time to administer morphine before waking up. That’s a plus at least.

[@punchinello6537]

If your splitting wood in crocs you deserve what you get :/

[@trygveevensen171]

That's if he can even call an ambulance while unconscious

[@kaasmeester5903]

The machine will eat the EMT as well...

[@wideyxyz2271]

PMSL......

[@stephenauty2402]

🤣

[@edschultheis9537]

That flywheel contraption at 3:40 is a real death machine. A serious injury is only a matter of time.

[@SMHman666]

edshulth Yes, he doesn't need ear muffs, rather a helmet and suit of armour!

[@denysmith9469]

The flywheel guy knows about safety he has ear and eye protection 😂😂

[@rudykammermeier7316]

The best part about #2 is that he puts on ear protection. Safety first!

[@owoewrefi]

And wearing crocs.

[@hans-jorgsasse6595]

Die Anti - Schweißfuß - Unfallverhütungs - Klogs. The Anti - Sweatyfeet - Accident - Avoiding - Crocs.

[@charlieangkor8649]

Rudy Kammermeier its to keep his head from falling apart after its split into two halves when the wood suddenly gives and he slips and falls with his head into the active place of the machine

[@headlessdrifter8401]

While wearing crocs haha

[@jeffpaggett7274]

@@tobiashock5365 Yes, you should go help him - because noise is really the biggest issue.

[@AdrenalineTheory]

The scary part is that second guy probably thinks he's a genius.

[@foxxcvii7170]

@Derek Jackson why should he say he doesn't know? I bet he's right, this guy is an idiot ready to die from his invention, no wonder he would think highly of himself.

[@austinME]

@Derek Jackson You're right, which is why the word probably was used. Yo it's cool if english isn't your primary language, I forgive you for probably not being dumb.

[@foxxcvii7170]

@Derek Jackson The guy in the video is an idiot that's lucky he hasn't been murdered from his own invention yet, saying he probably thinks he's a genius is extremely logical for someone to assume. This guys logic of him probably thinking that way makes a lot more sense than whatever it is you're trying to say. People can say whatever they want, just because he used the word probably doesn't mean he's making shit up. Get over yourself.

[@foxxcvii7170]

@Derek Jackson LOL your judgement on everything is idiotic. Maybe if you have a comeback think up something unique because copying is super lame. You also failed to understand my point which makes sense because you're an idiot. Nice one!

[@daltonmann9482]

Why do idiots such as yourself make things personal when they begin to lose an argument? Kinda pathetic and shows your lack of character develop. Be a better writer.

[@hugodesrosiers-plaisance3156]

I'll just post the same comment as everyone else and express how stunned I am that the operator of the second machine actually figures that his maiming-waiting-to-happen is anywhere close to being a good idea. And he's wearing crocs.

[@elmerwilliamson1970]

That rotating wheel; are you kidding? That is the most dangerous wood splitter I have ever seen on this channel! There are so many ways that thing can maim you, not funny!

[@alexanderh.5814]

Number 2 needs to set up a live cam. I could watch in suspense all day long.

[@paulsims9155]

It's like a train wreck

[@bcubed72]

Waa I watching a guy spilt wood, or an unsuccessful suicide attempt?

[@alexanderh.5814]

@@bcubed72 watching a daredevil

[@ari4681]

He must be dead by now.

[@petersharp90]

'All day long'? I don't think you'd have to wait that long.

[@yc6683]

I don't get why so many negative remarks about the second guy: he built the safest amputator ever.

[@xpqr12345]

I see you used the word "safest" in a slightly unusual way, meaning "guaranteed to get the job done"....

[@helmut666kohl]

I'd agree if you replaced "safest" with "likeliest"

[@AhmadAli-cq5xh]

but throws off woods which can also make other injuries.

[@BJOlson]

"*Fastest"

[@elsupremo6037]

This is exactly that kind of machine, the French needed during their revolution 1789. Forget that guillotine thing......

[@arnoldj.gerdsnerter2662]

I have heard that the second machine was actually the third version and considered the safest by the survivors.

[@jonanderson5137]

Everyone's talking about the second machine, but let's have a moment of appreciation that for once the thumbnail actually was featured!

[@thomasdalton2042]

Hopefully when 2nd guys wife saw him and that machine she went out and got a million dollars worth of life Insurance because that dude ain't living long

[@joebloe4561]

@Matt Barber lol..

[@skiphaskell706]

@Matt Barber yeah but not without his head where it should be instead of on the pile of near misses

[@snakerstran9101]

Maybe she's the one taking the video just in case the prosecutor refuses to believe someone could be so stupid to do that to themselves.

[@petersharp90]

When the insurance agent comes around to do the health check for life insurance...'I just saw that machine out back. I'm leaving. Do not contact us again. Ever.'

[@JohnathanBach]

She bought him some life insurance for his birthday, and the machine for Christmas.

[@YABBAHEY1]

Only thing that would make the "Torture Wheel" more dangerous would be putting the flying logs at eye level......oh wait

[@jonathanmillner]

and... fire.... lots of fire. Flaming wheel?

[@YABBAHEY1]

@@jonathanmillner He could go on tour "The Cringe Circus" Side shows include: children clearing lawn mower chutes while running

[@jonathanmillner]

@@YABBAHEY1 Ok, you want to hear a crazy story? I have a vineyard, and one of the tasks of vineyard is hedging the canopy. They have machiens for this, but we had a local handy-man try his approach. What we got was a lawnmower with the deck modified so... it'd be vertical instead of horizontal. In theory it worked... but holy shit it was dangerous. I tried it for one year... the second year... when the workers are looking at me as though incredibly brave person for operating the thing... then I was like... dad... we gotta fix this. Like something's giong to happen and it'll be me because I'm not putting anyone else on that machine... I like Mark too but.... Anyways, the new system is wwwaaayyyy safer... and a little faster too.

[@YABBAHEY1]

@@jonathanmillner I can imagine, if the ground isn't perfectly flat a 20,000rpm flail suspended 7' up might be a little spicy. What type wine ? (I'm a Chianti person.)

[@jonathanmillner]

@@YABBAHEY1 Marquette, La Crescent, Sabrevois, Frontenac, Frontenac Gris. A lot of newer varieties kinda taking the wine world by storm :) You might like Sabrevois a lot if you like Chianti.

[@ifmbm332b]

The only thing the second machine needs is a rabid junkyard dog with one eye chasing a skunk and couple of feral cats in heat around the Ford Pinto in the garage and a kid lighting off fireworks yelling "hey dad, look over here!!" every thirty seconds. And the guy needs a cigarette.

[@MH-pc2ky]

The second guy I got to love the fact that he's has on ear protection and that's the least of his worries but you have to know that those are some heavy duty off-road Crocs that he's wearing, he's a decent fabricator probably some sort of engineer without a lick of Common Sense I was waiting for the Rope to wind up in something and drag him into the machine or an 80 lb piece of wood bust him in the face cuz I'm sure those 99 cent safety glasses were really going to help him

[@ScanMan1967]

The manual for the second machine just says "Throw it in and hope for the best. Good luck"

[@no10standard36]

1st machine needs a safety lockout clutch switch, foot operated. Second device needs a cease and desist.

[@wayne3340]

Where do you get a pulley that big?

[@silentferret1049]

@@wayne3340 It is a set of gears that have been used as a flywheel. Kinda easy to find them lying around.

[@garysturgis11]

Spot on.

[@TheOneWhoMightBe]

More like 'cease to exist'.

[@ninataylor6180]

@@TheOneWhoMightBe hahaha Priceless

[@hamaljay]

The guy in the second one was obviously keeping safety in mind, he had gloves, ear protection and Crocs.

[@generalcaeser9176]

The safety instruction manual simply says this: "Pay up your Life Flight, Life Insurance, kiss the wife, say good bye to the kids and resupply your Blood storage!"

[@marcmarti5273]

"woa WTF is that!?" "oh, this is my new giant-wheel-log-cutter invention" "sick man!" "yeah, I call it 'the amputator' "

[@brianbever2952]

Strait to the point

[@lalarobert]

#1 & #3 are actually quite efficient machines. I would use the 1st one with no issues at all and the same goes for the third if it had a guard over those flywheels. The second one on the other hand is a direct line to meet the Grim Reaper.

[@aritakalo8011]

Depends on it having quick stop for example on the 1st one. If it had has something like foot operated quick stop, then I would think it's fine. any open manipulated constantly rotating machine without emergency quick stop is always on the "unsafe design" category. Since on can never rule out stuff like getting piece of clothing caught in it or in mistake put ones fingers close. As such as slow or safe it looks, it must have quick stop. Not just cut power, but apply braking to the blade or otherwise render the blade safe Then again it is no more dangerous, than open band saw or table saw. Stuck fingers in the blade and you get hurt. However as said all of those usually have a quick stop button, cutting power and slamming brakes on the blade. At least any decent one would have. edit: oh and your comment is two years old. Soo, hello, very late commenting. Well what can I say, the algorithm gods brought me here.

[@lalarobert]

@@aritakalo8011I'm still here and agree with everything you said.

[@kmoecub]

The third one isn't even home made. It was commertially available in the 1930's (and not just the engine, but the whole shebang).

[@adriaanschepel9001]

Grim Reaper on speed dial, indeed. I don't think there would be any much delay involved ...

[@h3llnite]

I like No. 3 best. The first one had reminded me a lot of risk for crush injuries like in conveyor belts. At least if you stay at the front of No3 you should be ‘safe’ No. 2 was just scary on so many levels. The flying axe head The loose rope near said axe head and set up The fact the wood has to pretty much be thrown into the axe head (which even threw it back at user) Just a huge NOPE from me

[@centermid7mb]

Lucky YOU are about to read the funniest bunch of comments on KZbin . . . .

[@user-yo1pk4ky4k]

That dude in the camo shorts using the giant wheel might have already re-learned to split wood using his prosthetic arm. No lifeguard down at the gene pool.

[@afvet5075]

The first log splitter is actually pretty efficient. I like that one. You just have to pay attention but it was pretty cool and it makes short work of those logs and it spins relatively slow.

[@danieljessop7140]

yeah nothing wrong with the first one. Every power tool has some risk if you dont pay attention but the second one is just plain nuts.

[@matthewharriman4267]

Yeah what was wrong with it, I thought it was brilliant

[@onillonill5192]

@@matthewharriman4267 yeah, and i think number 3. is a good machine too, is not that dangerous

[@fabiansandhoff750]

@@onillonill5192 First machine can hack off your hand if you're not careful. Third is quite unsafe with all the open wheels and especially since you have to slide on the belt while it's running. Of course, both have nothing on the second abomination in that regard. Both are quite safe overall, but for engineering anything, you should always think about the "DAU" (German, "Dümmster Anzunehmender User" = "Dumbest user imaginable") and at least show some effort in keeping the "DAU" from harming themself

[@onillonill5192]

@@fabiansandhoff750 first machine, has a nice speed, it's cool, yes it's dangerous if you are not work with care. but i dont see a problem

[@daniel-vm3qn]

who ever invented that 2nd machine needs to be prosecuted for stupidity

[@wilsjane]

I wonder if it dated back to the French revolution.???

[@eltigre249]

Maybe he has already been taken.

[@The314moses]

I couldn’t agree more.

[@donsurlylyte]

sketchy af

[@stefanobertoni9886]

A quest'ora sarà morto decapitato 😔

[@tonyhenthorn3966]

The first and third machines weren't too bad, except for those exposed belt driven flywheels. But the operator of the second one is trying for a Darwin award!

[@darrelsartin4355]

With all due respect to the danger of #2, I thought the use of a capstan winch to load the logs onto the working table was actually quite ingenious.

[@ox6942]

The first splitter is perhaps the best one I've ever seen. Fantastic idea! Slower, easy going, controlled, relaxed, powerful. A work of art.

[@truth-dickhead3306]

Ox / it's a lot safer than the second one, but it wouldn't work worth a fuck with green wood.

[@trinilgan]

and super enjoying to watch

[@mikekemsley1531]

And you don't need to worry about it cutting part way through anything. Once it starts it's going all the way to the end.

[@Tailspin80]

What happens when it meets something it can’t split, like a log with a massive knot? It either stops or the axe head weld breaks.

[@randomschittz9461]

@@Tailspin80 looks like that weld will break soon either way.

[@mikemeyer2565]

Number 2's machine is reminiscent of something that might have been built in the early Industrial Revolution.It is violent, insanely dangerous, and totally unpredictable. The only reason to wear hearing protection is to muffle the blood curdling screams that will emanate from the operator when the inevitable happens and the flywheel cleaves off his arm with a little "bink".

[@charlesbird781]

Never mind that during the Industrial Revolution the machine would have been run by a ten year old boy

[@9Antonian]

Just reading the comments on the #2 wheel of woe made my day!

[@SirGoP]

"Her housband was a hard working man, just about a mile from here..."

[@marciephillips]

So far I haven't seen anything 'scary' except for that second one. Holy Cow.

[@whatevernamegoeshere3644]

And it also wasn't 10 of them

[@skiphaskell706]

Yeah, after 6 minutes and only having seen 3 it got a bit tedious

[@philippaugello6085]

The guy with 2nd machine is totally crazy! 🤯

[@lawrence18uk]

He's Edgar Allan Poe's great grandson :-)))))

[@adamada101]

100%

[@marjandobersek9301]

r.i.p.

[@largol33t1]

I wonder if he still has both of his hands. He truly is dumb as log!

[@davidseverance9282]

At least he's wearing ear protection..🤔

[@jelt110]

Absolutely love the first one, but #2 is like something out of Dukes of Hazzard.

[@Ultimatora]

1:55 #2 is made by MrKent317 and they made significant improvements recently. Even added a wood chipper beside the main axe blade.

[@idontedit7375]

Since when did we change the meaning of "10" to mean 3?

[@ciretto1106]

Machine 2 IS 6 of the 10 deadly machines!

[@bonkeydollocks1879]

@@ciretto1106 hahahahahahahahaha 😎

[@joesbarbecue1]

It's that darn new math!

[@cooking1.586]

The second machine counts as 8.

[@warrenstemphly5756]

Nothing matters anymore, I’m now pronouncing the “L” in salmon.

[@SomeoneCommenting]

That second one 2:12 looks like a very elaborated attempt to win a Darwin Award. That dude looked for as many hazards as possible in a single machine.

[@bradeenm2848]

At least he was wearing "Steel toe Safety" Crocks on his feet.

[@rjkfsm]

@@bradeenm2848 ik,r?

[@adolfhitler3870]

He had to dodge wood chips😂😂😂😂

[@hlawton3282]

Your comment has me crying!! 😂😂😂

[@williamtate6268]

SomeoneCommenting Did you see it was made by “ACME”?

[@happyhour1984]

That second one is the most dangerous thing ever

[@justinmorgan2126]

If that guy with the second machine lives past the next couple of winters using that thing I will be amazed.. it's a death trap. The third one looks like something out of the SAW movie franchise..

[@larrybelitsky1444]

Regarding #2 - Some people leave their mark on the world, others leave a stain.

[@xmachine7003]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@snakerstran9101]

Only thing missing were explosives and beer.

[@mikefrech1123]

@Marc Johansson What video did you watch? The one I saw was about wood splitting machines.

[@tomtee2303]

Re; the second spliter. It's like watching a train wreck. You know it's going to end badly but you just can't stop watching.

[@CapApollo]

he is using safety crocs.. no problem at all

[@MarkBoese]

I'd like to know if he's till alive, and if he is, does he have all his fingers...lol

[@101starting]

In crocks

[@juliecallaghan8592]

Really ?? REALLY oops I trip in my crocks ..slash slice splice

[@conradp.woodturning972]

Lots of time an energy put into making a super ineffective and dangerous contraption. Using a splitting axe would be so much better.

[@8307c4]

#2 and #3 are incredibly dangerous lol, thou I did get nostalgic about that hit'n-miss engine.

[@danieljckson]

Stephen King made a good log splitter for his next book idea about a log splitter that kills people.

[@fredjonson5781]

I've watched 3 of these videos and #2 on this one was the first really dangerous one I've seen. The uncontrollable spinning death fist hammer thing wasn't enough so he added a dangly rope next to the flywheel. The only design I can think of that might be worse is a large flywheel that grabs the wood, carries it about 280 degrees around and throws it at an axe 10 feet away...maybe has a belt that runs dangerously close to the hopper somehow.

[@fredjonson5781]

I guess you could also drill a hole in a still standing tree and light a stick of dynamite with a cigarette.

[@AtomicZn]

"I decided a spinning blade was too dangerous, so in this new model the blade is stationary and the log is fed into the mechanism with this trebuchet. My hands never have to go near the cutting mechanism."

[@benwinter2420]

A device spawned in Mordor

[@terrykrall]

Is that a “safety shield” the rope is run thru? hahahahaha!

[@hudsville]

🤣

[@gavrilgavrilov1079]

Second guy dies or is horribly maimed by this machine. Not a question of if, its a question of when.

[@HaErBeSo]

Love the safety boots the second one is wearing. Guess he feels really safe now. The loose jacket of the last one is also an extremely safe idea.

[@bluesix2843]

1st machine is awesome, 2nd will have your hands off, 3rd had a rubber fist accessory, 4th also decent for small stuff/bio mass.

[@mariusc2137]

Title saying "10 dangerous machines" when in fact is showing 4, obviously not many people watched past the second guy🤣

[@jasonhancock5918]

That second machine killed 7 people

[@carlicehouse]

i'm assuming the second machine is 1-7 for top 10 dangerous. the other 3 were distant 8,9,10

[@marks2731]

Any Machine you have to jump back from when it does its thing needs turning off, and scrapping.

[@JohnDoe-gm5qr]

or it at least needs to be redesigned to be somewhat less dangerous. I would not go near that 2nd one. I wonder how many people operating one of those contraptions had wood thrown back at them or lost a finger or hand. It makes a jointer in a wood shop seem harmless until it kicks the wood out from under someone's hand.

[@frozedickdave]

How bout just gear it down

[@TheJunkFarm]

not a Disco machine!!! You don;t scrap a disco machine because Disco will never Die!

[@nmoran2046]

Mark S Or automation it could be an efficient machine without a human involved

[@dazley8021]

Everyone talking about the second machine, ignoring the fact that the operator is wearing crocs the whole time. Its like the cherry on top.

[@cum_as_you_are]

And to this year's Darwin Awards Nominees:

[@phillipwest5465]

I lost 3 fingers Just from watching the second guy....

[@justGBD]

IMO the first one is probably the safest. The wheel is just fucking stupid. The piston one is safer than the wheel but does put your hands a bit closer to the action. The last one is just neat and safe with eyepro.

[@codyhufstetler643]

A cool design feature of splitter 2 is that the blade is right at face level, so if you trip on a log walking up to the machine, your head is simply and painlessly split entirely in half

[@sixfootdworf9545]

The first one had the potential to be dangerous, but cutting/splitting wood inherently has the risk of injury. The second machine was very dangerous. A death trap. You'd need several mechanical safety measures, like a lever that drops logs into the splitting axe, that can be pulled from a shielded position beside the machine, and the loading mechanism for the logs into the drop area would require the machine to be shut off. All together an unsafe and impractical machine if it was made to be safely operated. Now if the machine was autonomous, and the logs could be loaded and cleared in a manner similar to a magazine ramp and a clearing ramp, then maybe. Perhaps a shielding area above the machine with a ramp that a person drops logs into, where the machine splits and the logs are then fed into a pile. Even still, not very practice unless you were looking to split wood at an unconventionally quick manner. The third machine was pretty cool, similar to the first machine but with an engine that is attached to a chiseled piston rather than a belt system that rotates a wheel attached to a rotating chisel. The last machine seemed rather cool too, but when feeding the logs by hand rather than funnel, there is a chance of the log being ripped away from the operators hands and potentially hurting/hitting someone or something. Not super dangerous, but has the capacity. With the funnel, the log is supported by a metal (I assume to be welded, forged plate, or stamped sheet steel) box that prevents it from going anywhere but through the machine or up where it came. The energy being applied to the log I don't think is applied in a manner that would push the log out again with any significant velocity.

[@chrischris4827]

I always appreciate that they throw the splits on the ground so they can have the joy of picking the wood up again.