10 Life-changing Lessons From The Longest Ever Study On Human Happiness! Dr. Robert Waldinger | E246

In this new episode Steven sits down with the American psychiatrist and Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, Robert Waldinger.
Topics:
0:00 Intro
01:40 Who are you & what mission are you on?
04:04 The longest ever human study
10:38 How has this study changed you?
16:15 What have humans got wrong about happiness?
27:20 How do we gain discipline?
29:54 The importance of romantic relationships
37:07 What are the negative aspects of being lonely?
43:22 What makes a successful relationship?
47:48 Why we’re all spending our time wrong
54:22 What leads to happiness at work?
01:04:19 Constant themes you see in your patients
01:08:24 Characteristics of someone that can change
01:11:52 A framework to perfectly use your time
01:15:07 What do you get wrong about life?
01:16:52 How do we make our society happier?
01:25:21 The last guest’s question
01:26:38 Closing positive message
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[@TheDiaryOfACEO]

This episode is truly a life changing episode! Roberts closing remark at the end is certainly something we should all try and do a little bit more of. Me and the team are hosting multiple dinner parties all across the world and we’ll be inviting 20 subscribers at a time to join us. Subscribe with a chance to be there!

[@Livelongwforce]

Dinner with 20 forward thinking, brightly shining spirits? Sign me up!

[@bababillenial7861]

I HEARD ABOUT THIS RESEARCH WHEN *SANDEEP MAHESHWARI* MENTIONED ABOUT THIS LONG AGO IN ONE OF HIS SEMINARS! SO TRUE THAT 'PEOPLE WHO HAD GOOD RELATIONSHIPS , LEAD HAPPIER LIVES'

[@SuzieNunes]

Excited 😊

[@al-shaimaali8902]

Done subscribing. Count me in I really like you you are a cool guy since the ist time I saw you in shark tank

[@voice4voicelessKrzysiek]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! for this interview. I'm beyond impressed; this IS, I feel, a truly life-changing experience for me. I shared it with my kids and wife, hoping they will listen to it, but must say it's a big hope.

[@kyriakikyriakidou2799]

"Make kindness your default setting" epitomises everything ❤️

[@pistopit7142]

What? You clearly don't know my neighbours.

[@BenderConnections]

Be Grateful, Be Kind, Repeat 🙂

[@Gypsy-Brown]

After my marriage breakdown and also suffering from post natal depression, I had to give up work. As I was unwell and unemployed, my children were better off living with their dad and as i had no income to pay a mortgage and so the children didn’t have to move out of their home, my husband stayed in the family home with them and I moved out to a rented house and lived alone. My friends at the time were either colleagues or the wives of my husbands friends, so I lost most of those also and had no desire to socialise anyway. I went from being surrounded by people all day long (I was a teacher) to being alone all the time. I became more depressed than I had ever been and every night when I went to sleep I prayed I wouldn’t wake up again. I became so unwell mentally and physically that there was no chance of me feeling able to work and I spent eight years unemployed. I climbed out of this by making little steps that involved having contact with people, like getting a dog and talking to other dog owners in the park. But going back to work in care was what made me better in the end. The contact with others and the feeling of helping those in need has made me well.

[@bonbonchita]

Hugs to you, that sounds like a very hard journey

[@anyatranter5588]

Oh you poor thing ,I have been on a similar journey for the last 8 years,and only now getting out slowly reintegrating,but being very careful to mix with positive people who do not drain me as I need to build up my own emotional strength.

[@anyatranter5588]

I'm sure Menopause adds issues for women,physically and mentally.Is it possible you are a Capricorn like me ,the stars have been very challenging for Capricorn since2008 as Pluto has been in Capricorn.most people never have pluto in their star sign in their whole life as its orbit takes so many years

[@martinepeters9891]

Work is so important for happiness. I'm on sick leave because of my back and it's not good for my health. I feel you

[@andreaandrea6716]

Thank you for sharing your story! It is so important for people to hear that others have lived the same pain that they live ... it makes us feel more connected just knowing that someone else has lived it... and UNDERSTANDS! When we are isolated and in anguish, it is so hard to look around and see nothing but people going about their lives, when we've been derailed. I've been through this (Slightly different angle, but same outcome) and really appreciate your sharing your story!

[@GoodtoGaia]

This was a great podcast. Dr Waldinger has a child-like joy and twinkle in his eyes. This man knows about life. 🙏🏻❤️

[@uchechi_anyanele]

Beware of scammers in the comments using DOAC name and picture to pose as Steven Bartlett. Steven will never DM you or ask you to DM him privately. DOAC KZbin channel and Steve's social media handles all have verification checkmark - any other is an imposter.

[@GoodtoGaia]

@@uchechi_anyanele thanks.It happens on every channel. I hope people get it by now.

[@amphiibiia]

The giddiness and the twinkle in his eyes when he was asked about the brains. 😂

[@janetscott88]

You are right about that...I thot so too.

[@CJ-ft9yo]

yes very twinkly !

[@triciaschofield6159]

This is one of the most uplifting podcast , I am 74 and very lucky to be fully engaged in life.

[@24sumo]

Not that old

[@judydoucette8762]

I believe there are various ways of meditation=focus, gardening, music, reading, is are different forms of meditation/focus, just by listening here. I wonder if it matters if you are an extrovert or introvert, what type of meditation/focus, works best or preference for you?

[@debbiebasildabbers1462]

@@judydoucette8762 Art Giser teaches that the most important thing to know about meditation is that you don’t overthink it. Just relax and know that it is working. The important thing is to switch off your left brain and, if u worry about doing it right, you are engaging the monkey mind. I suppose extrovert/introvert might depend of why you are either of these as they are both out of balance 💗

[@judydoucette8762]

@@debbiebasildabbers1462 I always thought meditation was getting lost in something, insomuch that you shut off the rest of the World for a period of time, until bliss happens (Euphoria).💧✌️

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

@@judydoucette8762 you people sure dont know what meditation is. But, in fairness, people meditate in different ways to do different things. sometimes fairly useless things. it is good for health. but i meditate to connect. i find anything else of no value. Besides, connecting to Karra (a spirit guide and a healer) does offer a measure of healing. it often dosent last long for me tho. when i was 13 i did have a permanent healing.

[@vplaza73]

I'm jumping up for joy & shouting "I'm on to something!!"! My friends think I'm kinda crazy because I'm always striking up conversations with strangers, it brings me so much unexpected joy!!

[@carolmccabe4359]

I’ve been doing this since I was a little girl ……. Bubbles of Joy I call it

[@j01150126]

Yo. What your name? 😂

[@rosyapplekitchen635]

People think I am so confident for this but I’m not it is just normal to me

[@nellienovilla9187]

I can relate to you. My friend always tells me to be careful with people you never know. She will never talk to a stranger.

[@mrs.h4484]

I think it's the job you chose, the foods you choose. I think, while relationships can contribute, it is not the main cause of stress. The other things contribute more and can cause a relationship to sour.

[@rockrecordreport7136]

Look at the constant sparkle in Waldinger's eyes. Amazing positivity.

[@ginahamlyn2569]

Yes, a true inspiration.

[@jessybalan4353]

Thanks for highlighting that up. May we all find sparks and joys beyond all the stresses !!

[@KazzyOfficial]

You have a way of making people so comfortable to open up to you. It's your humility. This is the best podcast out right now

[@mr_green33]

agreed

[@peacefuldoves]

Seconded 🎉

[@HarlequinJitsu]

Shame that doesn't translate to real life. My sister worked with Stephen & unfortunately he's extremely unpleasant to people that aren't important enough to him

[@rf-uj5sc]

He does not strike me as a humble person. He is already quite brazen with people who punch way above him.

[@arturcuryllo5832]

Jesus. He is calm. He made it at 30. He doesn't need to worry about GPT-4 taking away his job, while 99% of the people do. Most don't even realize it yet (many have NOT heard about GPT-4)

[@hey_kudisco_podcast]

I can't believe some of the information you share is free. Thank you for this.

[@daveSoupy]

why should it be locked behind a paywall?

[@hey_kudisco_podcast]

@@daveSoupy The tone of the above was 'it's really incredible that you're generous enough to share this at no cost' not 'it's not smart to share this without charging people'. Gratitude to this page and the team behind it nonetheless.

[@habibaroyees]

best things in the world are free because it’s priceless you can’t put price on it. Everything is not about the money 💰 when you do good things good things come to you.

[@sudstahgaming]

A troubling comment

[@StevenJRowan]

“Only the disciplined ones are free in life. If you are undisciplined you are a slave to your emotions and your passions", Eliud Kipchoge. Marathon world record holder

[@themsrics]

👍👍👍👍

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

thats stupid... "ability" is required too.

[@gshrdy5415]

@@gothboschincarnate3931 , explain a little more about ability, trying to understand your thought.

[@Alekhine01]

Having lived a disciplined life as an attorney, and then after a head injury losing that discipline, I think that too much discipline involves slavery to our preconceptions and biases. With only discipline, you can lose spontaneity and lose touch with emotions and passion. You become a slave to your goal and looking back, you will realize how single dimensional your life was--particularly if the randomness of life prevents you from achieving that goal. Then you are left with nothing. At times discipline is useful; however "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of kittle minds ... " Ralph Waldo Emerson.

[@ricardosmythe2548]

Even the disciplined are a slave to the system. Only those who sit at the top of it escape that fact.

[@Jacqueline-es5yb]

My husband and I have been married for 36 years together 38. We are incredibly happy, I find this subject fascinating. We change so much as we age, but giving each other the respect and space to evolve in their own life is what love is all about. My husband and I encourage each other to have hobbies, [some together some separately] which makes for interesting conversation later in the day. It keeps me interested in him and vice versa. Respect and friendship are SO important.

[@uchechi_anyanele]

Beware of scammers in the comments using DOAC name and picture to pose as Steven Bartlett. Steven will never DM you or ask you to DM him privately. DOAC KZbin channel and Steve's social media handles all have verification checkmark - any other is an imposter.

[@Amandahugginkizz]

​@uchechi_anyanele hahahahahahahahahaha a scammer saying beware of scammers. New low

[@voice4voicelessKrzysiek]

This whole interview is immensely interesting (I am lacking words...) but especially these 2 phrases stuck in my mind: 1. catch each other in doing good. 2. default mode to be kind. Absolutely brilliant!

[@cinzialbm]

Yes in a perfect world with a perfect relationship or at least with a partner that is on the same wave and you don’t feel just trapped in a “going nowhere “relationship At that point I think lonlyness is better…

[@jdmosaics]

@@cinzialbm I am never lonely… I love life and everything about Nature and creating… when lost in creating I am not thinking about anything else… I do feel for people who are not comfortable with their own company. I know the norm is to search for connection, to me connection comes from within. ❤

[@calista1280]

​@cinzialbm Ask yourself what happened to change the person you chose to be with... Perhaps your attitude changed? Try being and responding with kindness & appreciation for gestures of caring and with understanding for their perspective. Take a few deep breaths & appreciate all you have in your life. Be in the Present Moment, its a Gift 🎁 I wager that if you. change, then that person will reappear... Eckhart Tolle teaches us how to Be in the Now and Be Happy and unstressed. Namaste 🙏 🤲 🕊

[@angeuwamahoro4854]

Waoooo! "We shouldn't compare our inside to other people's outside". Love it👍👍👍.

[@carolineprenoveau7655]

The world now seems to be designed to keep us comfortably miserable. I have a story. There was a major power outage this winter in Montreal. It took me about 15 minutes of sitting alone in my apartment with no internet to start thinking, wait a minute, I'm lonely. And so I did something I would never normally do, I knocked on my neighbour's door and asked if he was okay and if he wanted to chat. So we sat in the dark and had a conversation. 3 days later the power came back and I went straight back to the computer. But during that brief moment of being unplugged, I was driven to seek connection, and it felt easy because I had no other choice. In that moment I had a glimpse of what happiness is supposed to be. The internet is the illusion of connection without risk. But my brain doesn't understand the difference, it thinks it's the real deal and so the calculation is simple, no risk is better than some risk. Ironically, I believe the drive to isolate with my computer is the same as the drive to knock on my neighbour's door.

[@tinamalhotra4945]

great story, and great insights, 'it felt easy because i had no other choice' - yes! exactly, this is how life used to be before everyone got stuck on a device and i also believe the drive to isolate with the computer is the same as the drive to knock on the neighbour's door - it is a drive for contact and connection which a lot of us are seeking a lot of the time and of course we will go for the easiest most risk free version ......... thank you Caroline for your thought provoking comment x

[@AllergicToMakeBelieve]

It took you 15 minutes to get lonely? It's interesting how different people are. Not right or wrong, just different. I live in Colorado, and the last time our power went out I turned on the portable power pack and kept reading. I never get lonely by myself. I've had numerous relationships, was married for 21 years, and now I absolutely love living alone (with my best little buddy my dog). In past relationships, while I was often satisfied or content, just as often I felt lonely and either unfulfilled or overtaxed. Living by myself I never feel alone, I have my books, and outside my window I have ducks in my pond, squirrels, birds, and several beautiful foxes. They are endlessly fascinating. I occasionally have dinner with family or friends, but I don't go out socializing like I did in my youth. I am quite content and at 62, I plan to continue living alone. While my ex-husband was a kind person, it was exhausting being the one to do all the emotional work, the planning, the maintenance and organization of the relationship. Next time the power goes out, try sitting quietly and enjoying your own company. Not that there's anything wrong with reaching out to the neighbors! Not at all. It's wonderful to know your neighbors. It's just that it's even more wonderful to be content being alone. Best wishes.

[@AnaMarriia]

​@@AllergicToMakeBelieveit's because you don't live in Montreal in winter😂

[@no.5810]

What a gorgeous man.

[@karolynknight931]

I live alone but I’m not lonely. It takes a certain kind of person to be truly happy alone. Whenever I live with anyone in the past it was not great.

[@andreanrelf6625]

What kind of person? Why aren't you lonely? Can u share more information?

[@NasiGoreng-mz1ld]

Then you are a turtle 🐢

[@thekitsons8641]

The past does not have to control the future.

[@claudiarobinson4488]

Some people are happier being alone. My mother chose to and is 91. I know some friends who are married and always Ill because of stress.

[@ragetobe]

There are always exceptions to the rule, all of the women in my family lived well in to their 90’s, while their years up until 65 was very social as they got older they lost friends and became reclusive, in their last years I saw the sadness set in, the negativity, the lack of going out and meeting people definitely had an effect, it was not nice to watch but the worst of it happened in the last few years. Personally I’m male and I prefer my own company, I am a family man and I love my wife and child, we have a very loving and fantastic relationship but I am not naturally social because it makes me anxious. This is a lot to do with how I grew up, I a, a people pleaser and therefore I’m at rest when I am alone. I’ve never had an issue with what to do with my self, I never get bored but I do know that as I get older, if I don’t socialise I will die sooner and when I do decline the last years will be horrible and sad, and my family will see it. That is why I will make an effort to socialise.

[@musahenderson]

It doesn’t sound like your mum was alone. Sounds like she had at least one good daughter around her.

[@XxyGoddam]

I think it's related to your predisposition. Majority of people maybe are extroverts with a need of relationships, so without them they feel stress, which destroys their health. And there introverts, to whom relationships are the stress which destroys them. So the key is not to build relationships, but to figure what you really prefer. If one prefers loneliness, one shall not push social stuff onto oneself. And if one prefers social activity and relationships and needs then to feel sane - one shall invest in social networking and building ones community.

[@grannygoes7882]

@@ragetobe You don't know that you'll die sooner if you are alone and why would you think you'd be alone when you have a wife and child? By the time you get really old, you'll have grandchildren. The older you get the more stressful socializing can be. A lot of people thrive in solitude.

[@mississippiapple1078]

Like 100% alone?

[@JustJenniferTVshow]

I honestly can’t get enough of this, he’s my new favourite guest - he also has changed Steven’s energy in such a serene way.. it’s relatable, insightful and very accepting of humanity. there is lots of love in this interview. ✌🏽&💜

[@fatimamelo3858]

I have to listen a second time...loving it so sweetly and humanely.

[@mathurak-hs4yb]

This doctor's intelligence is mind-blowing! I can listen to him alllll day👏👏👏

[@lovingod4ever33]

Steven I just want to say that literally this is what you were made to do. Your questions are so well thought out and thought provoking that it truly makes for the most magnificent experience for the listener/watcher. Additionally, as most of your guests have said, that it is a magnificent experience for them as well. I can say, personally, at least 7 of your interviews, so far, have drastically impacted my life and thought process in most eye opening and positive way!! So Grateful for you and your team and for having found you here on KZbin. Thank you for your work and service to US❤

[@gypsystargirl6626]

I feel the same❤

[@ePIXture]

So true

[@thesupamaster4878]

Because of the reality of the loneliness epidemic and this podcast video, I have been more driven to reach out and talk to people. Not everyone responds back, at all or in a timely manner, but the effort I'm making here to talk to the others to see how they're doing feels so good, as if you're relieving them of their loneliness.

[@sTraYa249]

❤

[@amandaburleson2035]

ok cool be an emotiional tampon, to be discarded after use... thank you for your great contribution to this world.. bozo.

[@ianrobinson4200]

Loneliness is something that happens for me when I am around other people, not when I'm alone

[@josephgalea6165]

Managing your life correctly is not easy especially if your on the low side of the ladder!!

[@zah936]

I used to do that all the time until I got burned out

[@beheardramatisedstories]

The default setting to be kind always is just such a gem. Always be kind. Superb way to think. I also loved the example of trying to think about things people have done for you. The negative mind and "globalising" negative thoughts is so easy and it leads to everything feeling that it is wrong all the time. Great talk 🙂 Oh and dinner please

[@voice4voicelessKrzysiek]

The default setting to be kind - it's a gem!

[@damienx0x]

That's how I've led my life and it's true.

[@rebeccarush7382]

yes! always in all ways!

[@mybeautifulview]

Choosing to watch your content in the morning, positively alters the course of my day ❤

[@Atypicalkid88]

Im going yo start doing this

[@andreyrybachek7200]

I'm a Russian and here is to learn English by listening to wonderful people. I hope I become fluent in the language one day.

[@camouflagejumpsuit]

You are doing very well so far!

[@andreyrybachek7200]

thank you sunshine@@camouflagejumpsuit

[@petdoiseauR.H.]

Many thanks to You! You sharing this is endeavor of yours is a so precious and rekindling piece of knowledge! I hope we shall meet soon! Gonna dive in the learning of your Mother tongue :p We need curiosity, ubiquity and empathy to save this world 🙏🙏✨✊😘🤙

[@andreyrybachek7200]

well said!@@petdoiseauR.H.

[@shadowinversion]

Ah Blyat comrade

[@danpictish5457]

Releaving suffering in others is sooooo wonderful, thank you!

[@no-l2613]

Catch each other when they're doing good...❤ That made me cry. I'd love to be seen by those around me

[@marthawunnam2946]

This is one of the most hearwarming interviews I have ever watched. I felt the genuine connection between the host and the guest. It felt so peaceful just watching them talk. That has convinced me of the message more than anything else. Thank you both.

[@DasaScent]

I watched so many of your podcasts. It's becoming my bed time stories habit every night. So interesting guests from all walk of lifes. Thank you x

[@tinaphilip7782]

Hahaha my bedtime stories too , then the morning getting ready for the day ,then driving to wherever 😂

[@eriquekimani8435]

The calmness and peace in his voice is to be desired.Great Podcast as always DOAC Team. ❤ 🇰🇪

[@kathleendelmerico]

I hope you never doubt what you are doing through this podcast. By listening it has changed my life incredibly over the last year and I am sure it is changing countless other lives as well. Thank you for all that you do.

[@Elizabethgreen779]

Dr Waldinger is such a blessing to all. I achieved success after I practiced the steps below.

[@Elizabethgreen779]

Y’all need to know this. A well-known podcast in the US taught me how the rich don’t teach how to achieve success. They seek the ideas of Fin. Consultants to help grow their finance

[@Elizabethgreen779]

To achieve success, a Financial consultant is needed to achieve it. I engage in a variety of investments with the ideas of my consultant and have acquired great returns so far. (the amount is confidential).

[@Elizabethgreen779]

To get more details about my Financial Consultant (Isabelle Chloe Scott), do internet research with her full name above, where you can reach out and write her. Give her experience a try and achieve success.

[@Unknxwn.k.18]

Every time I listen or watch one of these videos I always learn something new and exciting. Over the past few months of me listening my life has not only improved from taking the advice given by these intelligent guests, but has also made me more intelligent and great full for everything I have in life. These conversations (I don’t know how your able to have such good ones) are so fascinating to listen to and enjoy while trying to better my life, please never stop making these episodes!

[@catafinity]

Steven, you really have to stop getting all these amazing speakers! Every time you have another, I end up with another book by the speaker! I have quite a few to read now and this one will be added to the list! No, dont stop. This is my fave podcast to listen to while I paint

[@LaurenLouiseLDN]

Absolutely love starting my day with these! So insightful and inspiring instead of starting my day reading/consuming mindless posts on social media. Its amazing how much positivity in the morning can generate a much brighter mindset to carry you through the day. Would absolutely LOVE to join for dinner so I have everything crossed 😅🤞🏽

[@user-wx5jk5kp9y]

Your sparkling eyes and smiles really shows how Happy you are. I find happiness being alone..and also multitasking which is contrary to what you said..because I am a unique person. I enjoyed listening and reflecting on all the ideas presented. Thank you.

[@joevalentin2450]

These are the kind of shows worth spending time for. Thanks for sharing. Dr. Bob is the kind of intellectual whose ideas are what humans need to be happy.

[@Nope-gw7kc]

I appreciate how much pre work you do before the guests arrive so that the discussion goes straight into topics instead of wasting time asking topical questions. Great value for the time spent. I enjoy watching the whole podcasts

[@d2desu]

I really agree with this and that's why i stick around with the podcast. From the first question he goes really deep and always making the guests think inwards, linking references to previous works they did, and he shows he listens.

[@MoreThanPeak1]

🎯 Thats why he’s the best! Nobody does that, you’d be lucky if the interviewer actually even read ur book let alone Studied it properly enough to ask questions about each chapter. I was blown away when i first started watching the podcast but then I quickly realised hes like that with all guests. Just shows how much he really cares 👍🏾

[@adam091080]

and your Zen radiates from you ! I could see the glow from you instantly then again with your eyes and voice - thank you gosh wish more people were like you

[@Cindyscrossstitch]

This guest has amazing energy and you can feel his honesty. ❤🌻

[@h.davidburstein3578]

This is great stuff. I have written a book “Smartphones Don’t Give Hugs “ as a guide out of loneliness . I see loneliness as a light on an emotional fuel gauge in our requirements for social energy. I also see happiness and love to be states of energy more than states being. The only thing missing from the conversation was an acknowledgment of the importance of when well done, religion is an important vehicle to happiness. After all it was God who first observed that it is not good for man to be alone.

[@ibrahimmutebikamulali6070]

Just looking at this guy makes feel so happy. His always smiling like always smiling

[@jelenastella9348]

One of the best podcasts of yours ever. Such a lovely guest and such a beautiful soul. Thank you Steven and many thanks to a brilliant Dr Robert 🙏💗

[@wowtrailers5329]

This CD has three separate relaxation/meditation sessions on it kzbin.infoUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq guided by a very pleasant and direct male voice. Unlike so many other products of its type, this CD does not have bad synthesizer music, does not feature a phony or affected style of narration, and does not make any bogus claims to be subliminal or to re-train the brain or any of that balderdash. What you get is 1. a guided meditation for getting into a pleasantly relaxed state of body awareness while taking a stroll (superb for those easing back into a fitness routine slowly after an illness or injury) 2. A nice long breath-awareness relaxation session that if followed diligently can put you into very deep states of full-body relaxation and mental calmness, and 3. a buddhist-inspired meditation session designed to help you develop and maintain feelings of loving kindness toward not just yourself and your friends, but toward people you don't even like. The CD makes no claims to be designed for advanced meditators or for buddhists or hindus/yoga practitioners looking for very deep and esoteric stuff. It is geared more toward the average person who just wants to develop the habit of relaxation and stress relief through natural, healthy means. him, if you happen to be reading this, keep up the good work fella, and I love your accent. I would also like to note that I have never fallen asleep while listening to this product. I would like to kindly suggest to the reviewer who said this CD makes him fall asleep, that he might want to get checked to see if he has a sleep disorder, or if he is simply not setting aside ample time for restful sleep at night. A healthy person getting adequate rest at night should be able to go into deep states of mental relaxation without dozing off, if not all the time, then most of the time.

[@Namelessforever_]

20 minutes in and can’t stop Watching. Your podcasts have really been helping me lately. Thanks for all you do 😊🙏

[@sportysbusiness]

The other longitudinal study was in Dunedin, New Zealand. Every child born in 1971 in the city was enrolled and followed EVERY year, regardless of where they are in the world. It's the most comprehensive study ever done and over 90% are still being followed today. The number one predictor of success in life could be identified at 3 years old by the chocolate test. And it's a skill you can learn if you don't have it, 'self control'...

[@lorimiller4301]

I learnt a terrible lesson as a child. If i didnt get the thing then whether because of the situation or a promise, whatever the reason, if i didn't get it then, i would never ever get it in the future. No matter how badly it was wanted or needed. It's now or never. 😶

[@heide-raquelfuss5580]

I would pass the chocolate test. Not because i had self control. But because i did not expect anyhing to receive or have 'what i desire'. I would not succeed in live. The chocolate test and other tests are rather worthless more or less in my observation. Sadly.

[@jdmosaics]

Thank you for this vid, very interesting info. Self esteem can be heightened by learning self control I believe. If one builds a habit of compassion, of doing good for self and others it brings joy. This means being in control of self and being kind. Learning to be your best manager and your best friend. If I don’t have it I can’t give it…❤

[@mandyjory4124]

@@jdmosaics perfect❤

[@american-professor]

Chocolate test is bs

[@keefdestefano8673]

Steven..You are doing God's work❤ The guest's just keep getting better!

[@VeganFriendlyNutritionist]

Dr. Robert Waldinger - an enlightened teacher that we are privileged to listen to and learn from. He has that light of wisdom and unconditional love for humanity shining through his eyes and beaming through his smile. Key lesson from this modern master for us all is one word - kindness.

[@liliekusmierz4321]

I LOVE how honest, jentle, straight forward, humane this man is. Thank you for educating us and beying so open. God bless you Sir🙌♥️

[@MerKaBanation]

I can't imagine anyone else who could interview their guests so brilliantly and do this podcast better. Your a gem Steven!

[@megannifranklynschool]

Two of the most pleasant voices to listen to, they are truly beautiful individuals sharing enlightening information. Thank you.❤ ❤❤

[@alexarobinson2850]

I quite literally reference this study all the time in the work I do training and coaching people. It’s such a great study!!

[@beldonhuang]

Listening to Waldinger's talk on health and relationships just makes me think about our endless obsession with material goods nowadays, as many of us oftentimes associate them with fame, success and happiness. However, the "happiness" we obtain through them is meaningless, momentary and empty, completely unlike the happiness we gain through connecting with our friends and family. They are what matters the most to us. The nature to grow and nurture our relationships is deep in our soul, and it is only through establishing high-quality relationships can we not merely be a surviving human being, but a truly living individual :)

[@carol_english]

I have to say that this seems absolutely accurate. I am one of those people who, since my partner died eight years ago, has had no one to call in the middle of the night. I can’t even imagine calling anyone I know or, if I did, having them answer. Are there really people out there who make themselves available to others in that way? Realistically I have at least three people in my life that I would be there for if there was an urgent call. But it isn’t reciprocated, not that they are bad people, it’s just the way it is. I often feel overwhelmed with stress. I do what I can to manage it alone, but I know how much easier it is to have someone there for you. Realistically though I can’t see any sort of way of changing my situation. The world is not particularly kind to older people unless we have an already extended community that recognizes you.

[@tsaonewillie3659]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Maybe join a community some sort of social club.

[@amswestyorkshire8048]

They are people out there, if you just reaching out. They also looking for someone that they can talk to. I'm very happy to say that I've a couple friends like that and I'm also that friend to them too ❤ reach out you would surprise what you can find.x

[@Amy-fk5we]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I have multiple aunts that are also windowed. They found groups of local women that are also windowed and they hang out and do casino trips and fun things together!

[@timewithcatherine656]

Awww..sending hugs and genuinely asking...how are you today???

[@TatteredAndTornPages]

110%

[@KirstenJoerg]

I couldn’t love this podcast more - Dr Waldinger is wonderful. Steven, thank you so much for your amazing work.

[@yadenichimdessa1862]

Always waiting for the episodes to be released.Your podcast makes my days better.Steven keep up changing the world in a positive way❤

[@yadenichimdessa1862]

Dinner in Ethiopia?

[@kurohime5666]

It was a joy to listen to you both. An honest and warm conversation that left me feeling very Zen. Thank you so much! 🌱 😊

[@fluentinoverthinking]

Me and my friends noticed that people in poorer countries are much happier. Now after living in the USA for 8 months I can definitely state it has something to do with relationships and communication style. People in Ukraine and Cuba don't have a lot of material possessions but everyone has close friends or family or both. And this is way more important to have a good life.

[@akiwaki3751]

let s not talk about Ucraine right now, really..

[@thegbgfamily]

"poorer countries"??? Says someone from the country where some people can't name any other country.

[@roseywinter]

People might appreciate more of what they have when they don't have much, but appreciation doesn't always equate to happiness. A hard life full of suffering is still a hard life full of suffering, even if you keep trying to be positive and live meaningfully throughout the whole thing.

[@fluentinoverthinking]

@@thegbgfamily excuse me? I'm from Ukraine and people there can name a lot of countries 😉

[@PlayshotKalo]

It’s how we’re wired to be. We all came from hunter gatherers who lived simple, meaningful lives without all the distractions we have today and they had to cooperate as a community rather than isolated and fending for themselves. We can do whatever we want today and can have whatever we want today more than any other time in human history, yet we’re less happy and less fulfilled because all those distractions can cause us to value things less and cause us to neglect our needs. Why work hard for what you need and why work hard for a dopamine rush when you can skip all that work and just get an instant, unearned dopamine rush just turning your phone on and scrolling or watching TV or doing drugs or eating a bunch of sugars right? Clutter and being unorganized with all our stuff and consumption also makes our environment much more stressful than living in a minimalist dwelling that only contains your needs

[@running4fun863]

With regards to remote working. It was the best thing for me. I usually get bullied by people because I am different and have very high morals . Working on my own and not seeing the bullies was the best thing . Remote working was the best for me in many ways , I could hold a debate on it. I am responsible for my work , learn and produce perfect work.

[@Atypicalkid88]

THIS! i am neurodivergent and my parents raised me very conservatevely AND with a strong sense of morals and principals, this Is viewed often as a weakness or as stupid by some people so I have gotten bullied since school. Im naturally an extrovert so workimg remotely helps me to be able to CHOSE whom I give my energy to.

[@totoguy6333]

The host is quite an intelligent young man who is gifted to ask open reflective questions to his quest and make them share honest knowledge with us. Great job and continue with your passion👌🏿

[@rumi885]

That remark and question about the world we live in was absolutely spot on the question I was pondering on for the last couple of days and I just couldn't find a solution. Thank you so much!

[@bellakim9404]

Steven has a great & calm demeanor that I appreciate so much. This is one of my favorites!

[@uchechi_anyanele]

Beware of scammers in the comments using DOAC name and picture to pose as Steven Bartlett. Steven will never DM you or ask you to DM him privately. DOAC KZbin channel and Steve's social media handles all have verification checkmark - any other is an imposter.

[@misssicily100]

another amazing podcast thanks for the knowledge.

[@lizethquinterorodriguez9785]

This was amazing! I felt identified with soo many things, and seeing Dr. Robert's face of happiness hearing the last gratitude words you told him really made me cry. Grateful to have found this podcast.

[@digi_amanda]

I don’t go to KZbin often to watch content because typically think one platform is more than enough. Your teaser on insta brought me here and I spent my whole morning listening intently to each detail of this profound interview. I LOVE the way this discussion went and I LOVE the insights and findings that were shared. That was some fantastic synergy to witness and I’m so glad this was documented. I’m grateful that this type of information is getting shared and so blessed that there are people like you both that care so deeply to influence the lives of others in a positive way. Thank you for your raw thoughts and for so eloquently sharing this conversation. It validates the direction I’ve personally been on and confirms that my prioritization of relationships matters more than I thought! I learned all of this from a holistic psychiatrist as well and it has helped me beat anxiety and understand what truly matters most! Thank you. ❤

[@MerrilyMerrilyMerrily]

We live in *interesting* times, witnessing the slow but inevitable decay of contemporary civilisation, so not being hopeful about the future is rational response. Good on you for picking up your guest’s facial expression and thereby preventing him from giving a kind of Pollyanna response about the future on our blue world. As an Aspie, I find human interaction foremostly stressful and I doubt I’m alone in that, being alone but not necessarily feeling lonely allows me to really be me without the mask… You mentioned we neurodivergent, probably not in relation to societal isolation I got my hopes up…but then it got sidetracked. Dogs, cats, horses and trees, don’t lie, don’t deceive don’t bully they are the best people.

[@amaraangel8433]

im so grateful to have come across this podcast, learning so much everyday - thanks Steven

[@karenvitto3076]

Dr. Waldinger and Dr. Daniel Amen are so far my favourite episodes. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and life work.

[@womenarehealing]

such a meaningful, productive conversation. as always, this podcast are a breath of hope!

[@ratichon3314]

Not enough people look, or take, as the Dr.said, 'mind dives' we still don't know 1% of what are minds are about, thank Dr.Roberts for having done this study. Amazing.

[@writegirl2937]

I always look foward to these conversations and I like how Steve taps into people from a vast variety of life disciplines to bring us all some great food for thought! This episode was right up there. Thanks to the entire "Diary" staff for your work and inspiration!

[@johnspencer-cobb1849]

So refreshing, beautiful conversation to watch, thought provoking and really uplifting so thank you to you both x

[@LL-of7ig]

I’m so grateful to listen this podcast. I repeated it three times so far. So many parts of this episode are incredible 😮 So many parts are relatable with my life from past to now.

[@fionalewis5051]

My favourite conversation so far. Deeply thought provoking and really special. Thank you both ❤

[@Gypsy-Brown]

You are so good at making people feel comfortable in your company. You come across as so kind and calm and polite.

[@lovinglife4897]

Wow! I needed to hear this! Thank you for the work you do. 🙏

[@XOJeanne]

Also joining people praising your podcasts and this specifically. And also, reading the COMMENTS: you have such incredible, supportive and deep thinking community. Great job, team ❤

[@ourworldtoday2024]

Extremely insightful! THANKYOU

[@freespirit489]

Rarely seen an eminent psychiatrist speaking so colloquial normal communication, just like people talking to each other. The lucid simplicity is a, refreshing one mingled with zen, inner consciousness faith confidence and renewal approach... Substantiated by facts n research data. Inside out and outside in both are critical to evolving....

[@misssexandsafari]

I’m socially isolated and had a hyper social, typical African childhood and this all really resonates with me. People are valuable. Thank YOU FOR THIS!❤

[@publicrecord578]

Same here, I couldn't agree more. Sending love your way❤️

[@geraldinehiggins6963]

A fantastic listen. Learning so much about myself from your podcasts. I think most of us live on auto pilot I certainly have but at 58 today I'm changing and learning and realizing my core value and being the best version of myself. Self awareness is key I literally went through most of my life with out any. Thank you Steven. 👍❤️

[@annietecpa]

Every episode of your podcast makes me challenge myself and what I believe. Thank you for this!

[@rajitspdstr]

by far the best podcast. he has this aura of comfort around him with whom you might be comfortable to share everything from the very first meeting.

[@shinelight5673]

I’ve experienced a lot of embarrassment, rejections and break ups and it affected my health so much that’s why I will choose myself now, be happy and I don’t want to care but still willing to be helpful no matter what. ❤

[@janebaines7920]

I rarely comment on KZbin stuff but man, I really like this Zen dude. I found myself smiling along with him and having a giggle. Great advice.

[@Eva_x_x]

This might be my favourite episode, I can't believe I bumped into your channel only a month or two ago. You're the best host ever. And I mean that in every sense of that word.🎉

[@cindelulu7]

Honestly, watching your podcast has changed my life for the better. I was in a bad place mentally and after incorporating some of the advice from your guests, I feel lighter. Thank you for what you do.

[@Eva_x_x]

And I could listen to Mr. Waldinger for days, his voice and speaking is so calming and nice.

[@waynebeckford2354]

And yet again Steve you killed it, this episode has jumped into my top 10. What a calm and peaceful human being I absolutely love his energy. He dropped lots of gems that I will try out today. Thanks Steve your the best.🙏🏾🙌🏾🔥

[@mariagibb8185]

I’m finding myself nodding all the way through this…. Brilliant, thoughtful knowledge. Thank you

[@nodirnurmatov5401]

Steven, thank you so much for selecting interesting guests and organising life changing interviews!

[@bernardobila4336]

I love how excited he gets everytime you ask an interesting question.

[@dianamourer5244]

You are an excellent interviewer! You listen to the response and ask appropriate follow up questions! And I like your diverse topics!

[@drchrisgrayson2042]

Hello 👋🏻 Beautiful Lady 🌹..How are you and the weather condition?

[@marie8998]

I love your podcasts. You are a fabulous interviewer and very intuitively ask questions which allow a real flow to the sessions. So informative and thought provoking. Your guests are great and this is a great session. Thank you.

[@Tj-ot4jp]

Thank you Steven, what a truly inspiring man Dr Robert is.

[@ledmanpublishing5533]

This is something I experienced first hand. I have told myself for so long that I am okay just being alone with no friends. Then I gave myself permission to view those around me as genuine friendship, even if they may not understand life beyond themselves. I work with adults with developmental disabilities.

[@pianocomics]

Steve great job, 'the diary of a CEO is my all-time go-to podcast. I listen to a lot of podcasts but the diary is a constant lighthouse in my mind. Your ability to listen and really get personal with every guest,talking their language and taking their route is what makes it so special.Please make an interview with d-r Bessel van der Kolk ('The Body keeps the score') . He has so many things to say and you would be the most appropriate person to shed light to his medical experiences and knowledge.

[@jenniferbrantley5931]

Steven, I'm so glad I found your podcast. I love the range of guests that you have and how willing you are to truly let them talk. I know you are very successful and intelligent yourself, but you come at each interview with a fresh, open curiosity, you react very convincingly to your guests, and are not afraid to be vulnerable. You make it a real pleasure to watch your podcasts.

[@maggyhanrahan]

Such an excelant conversarion to share with the world🙏give it wings🙏bring healing to us as a RACE trough social Connection🙏🙏🙏

[@maggyhanrahan]

Pure Gratuate i feel having watched this excelent podcast blesssings to you both for sharing🙏😊

[@merynbulley3672]

So well said. I entirely agree.👍😊

[@sierraedwards5505]

In

[@atalyadeleon8636]

watch a couple of your podcasts, come this far and I should applaud you for being a good interviewer because you are calm, focus, good at listening, attentive and creative. it's just a really good flow, I don't feel off because of too much praise but you really show honest curiosity and scepticism! good job!

[@ramyivon]

Thanks Dr. Waldirnger for your life mission and your amazing work. God bless you ❤

[@richardpetts5149]

Goodness me, that was a fantastic episode thank you Steven and your team. Dr Robert is an incredibly nice fellow and very interesting to listen to, another great book to add to my Christmas list.❤

[@indrinita]

Fantastic discussion. It's rare that I can listen to a full one of these more recently, but the time passed so quickly here that I believe I was in a flow state while listening to this podcast! It really matters who the guest is.

[@dorothybutterfield8428]

Thank you for the interview with Dr Waldinger what a lovely man