10 Mind Games Narcissists Play They Hope You Won't Figure Out/Lisa A Romano

[@ginaandrews6516]

Having a narc in your life is like getting arrested. You have the right to remain silent, and anything you say can and will be used against you.

[@wildrosewild]

So true...

[@ivonibarra688]

True

[@camisnyder3460]

Hahaha omg that is perfect!!! So true!!!!

[@heathercrabtree5006]

Nailed it

[@maricelperena1644]

🤟

[@bigceazer]

when the devil can't reach you he sends a narcissist.

[@ninanickel3103]

bigceazer21 and they don’t respect anything about you. They fail to understand don’t dish if you can’t take. The universe will always send back. It doesn’t matter how you feel about that person.

[@silverline8855]

Well the devil can have them back. If we all send them back right now? Finally heaven on earth ;-)

[@alanaadams7440]

That's a good one

[@Multimeli123]

Great quote!

[@nikkisartor5985]

This is sooo true!

[@venturesintoglory5353]

Narcissists seem to be sweet as long as they are in control. The moment they are challenged, they reveal their Jekyll and Hyde personality and suddenly erupt with anger..

[@wadewalker118]

So true!

[@7urep]

💯🙏

[@mollymaina4973]

True 💯

[@Diaryofaqueen777]

Omg so true

[@johncaccioppo1142]

If you have the resources to rehabilitate one, it's an incredible learning experience. (When I say resources, this is crucial, don't get trapped. These are natural predators, but they can be domesticated over time. It's usually a very messy process, avoid it unless you are just an adrenaline junkie or you do this work professionally. It's not for the weak of heart.) Given that mental development follows a predictable route, the key is to figure out at what point the subject's maturity halted and understand their relationships with their parents and authorities at the time. Believe it or not, much of narcissistic violence can be the consequence of abandonment anxiety. They are attempting to eliminate their fear of loneliness by enslaving others. (No, having a large social group doesn't mean you aren't lonely. It's far better to be alone than to be surrounded by people who make you feel lonely.) This makes it extremely difficult to read them, but you can feel when their personality shifts from fear to dominance. If you can begin a conversation with them about what their motivations are, they may attack you, but if your assessment is accurate, they will know at a deep level you are correct and over time they will start to shift, realizing that their inability to relate to others is a weakness they need to deal with if they ever want any real satisfaction in life.

[@phoenix5758]

When they get tired of you, they start looking for their next victim while they're with you

[@triciasimone7]

Facts

[@PrimordialChaos07]

You should thank them while you hold the door open.

[@lovelylady2607]

And there’s always one waiting because they think he’s the greatest thing in the world. Mine remarried within months after our divorce.

[@SuperQdaddy]

Yes happened to me 3 times...these woman attract guys everyday...I knew what I was dealing with so it wasn't a shock that they already started something...when you dont react they go crazy and usually try to come back...but it's now unstable...wheres it going ?

[@kimmcneill815]

I can't get mine to leave. I'm ready to go find someone else for him to glom on to - lol! Just kidding - I wouldn't wish him on anyone else...

[@pammym1825]

These games cause intense emotional exhaustion and anxiety...that's a sign you're being emotionally abused.

[@samanthawingham2549]

By stonewalling you right"??

[@kelleymcclain7380]

I find I try to go over it and analyze it when I’m by myself but can never find the words because it’s undefinable. I’m always feeling like the cat with the laser in the wall. Right?

[@christar9527]

Even worse than that. They wreak havoc on your immune system, can cause brain and organ damage and make you suicidal. My parents caused all of them in me.

[@nunya2514]

@@christar9527 totally! Autoimmune, hair loss! Yeah.... Weight gain... Crazy.

[@triplekids3]

You are so right about that

[@GeisaKelitaSchreiner]

Narcisists always focus on you and your faults never theirs, thats tiring😓😭

[@camisnyder3460]

I’m exhausted. 6years of being married to a Narc., two kids w him and I can’t go.

[@GeisaKelitaSchreiner]

@@camisnyder3460 I'm sorry to hear that lovely😢 it takes a lot of effort and determination to go away? Specialy a loving relationship envolving kids I guess...my ex fiance was a narc. took me 5 long years to recover the self😓 you can do all things through Jesus who strenghthens you❤️❤️❤️

[@camisnyder3460]

@@GeisaKelitaSchreiner thank you!!! I’ve been praying to God more now than I have in a long time. I’ve left twice but he’s convinced me it (he) will be better. Our whole marriage feels fake, even when he says I love you to me it feels so insincere. I want to be free from him. Just gotta keep praying!!!!

[@GeisaKelitaSchreiner]

@@camisnyder3460 yes, I know...that's what they think and preach : ( I guess you'll not be able to do it alone? do you go to a church? is there people you can talk to and seek help?? family, friends or relatives? there's always someone willing to help! please look for help and support. Ask G-d to put in your way the right people! I'll be also praying for you!!! G-d bless you my dear !

[@camisnyder3460]

@@GeisaKelitaSchreiner thank you sooooo much for your prayers, that means so much to me!! I use to be highly involved in church but then slowly without me realizing even my faith was cast aside. I recently triggered something in me and cried out to God. I’m trusting him. And may God bless you as well, friend:)

[@the_eerie_faerie_tales]

They want you to believe their fantasy and disbelieve your reality.

[@5thHouseProductions]

Well said!

[@lisaaromano1]

Yep!

[@PrimordialChaos07]

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or member of a group, hoping to make them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Using persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying, it attempts to destabilize the target and delegitimize the target's belief. Instances may range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim. A form of intimidation or psychological abuse, sometimes called Ambient Abuse Dr. Scott Peck "People of the Lie"

[@8no1likeme-infinitestar65]

@Sia same here...:/

[@taerokee4857]

Yessss absolutely

[@tammyturner7988]

If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells and can’t put your finger on it, you’re in a relationship with a narcissist PROBABLY!

[@meme2363]

Nailed it. I’d rather date a psychopath.

[@kristins4494]

Yep!💯

[@kerizmarolle9710]

I feel that same way. I left my narcissist boyfriend today

[@blueface748]

WORD

[@dawnb8903]

I am easy going couldnt understand why they where so nasty know now

[@LisaSimplified]

"Narcissists need to feel like you believe everything they say. " truth

[@4x4_Gal]

Yes, they want to be idolized!!!

[@Justviewz]

Thats so true it scares me

[@LisaSimplified]

@@oscarwilliamson1264 No thank goodness! Thank you for asking. But I still have those from the past who do that "hoovering" behavior and I have to stay alert. Changed my ID recently hoping they can't find me in a search. smh. )

[@aftabyounis4852]

Or else they are injured and offended even if what they are saying is so ridiculous.

[@harbertrobert6960]

Hello friend how are you doing today hope you are fine with peace and love over there?

[@bethandromedaosuna194]

He lied about everything. If there's no drama he will create it. Yes no accountability. Nothing is his fault.

[@ShellyJellyUpYours007]

This is so true nothing was his fault! An years later im so glad im away from him

[@machinagirl]

This rings so true. I’m dealing with someone like this now. No accountability at all.

[@Tray-mk4xi]

@@machinagirl me 2

[@machinagirl]

@@Tray-mk4xi I’m sorry you are dealing with this as well.

[@MoralKombato]

Me and my girl owned we both have light narc traits because of our parents. Its very imp to recognize and articulate whats going on with heart and mind have to open up to each other.

[@NarcSurvivor]

They think they are so much bigger and better, looking down on us when they are playing these games. The reality is that their abilities and importance are exaggerated and that is why they have such a desperate need to play these games. Secure, healthy people do not feel the need to play any games with you.

[@gillymac9363]

And they give their game playing away by accusing you of it. They project more than any other souls! Everything they do they'll accuse you of. Exhausting creatures.

[@wolverinelogan9430]

Wait is that Narcissistic or Narc as in snitch survivor?

[@8no1likeme-infinitestar65]

@@gillymac9363 yep

[@KimK_AllDay]

I'm obsessed with your channel, I listen daily, Thanks for the content ❤

[@lemyzapreciado]

Narc Survivor I wrote a letter to myself on my channel. If anyone wants to read it. I left my narc 3 days ago. He went in the comments just to say he loved me. He’s still destroying every inch of me and He’s not even here. I never been more hurt in my life.

[@andynnai1]

They say “ I don’t remember”, when you confront them and ask questions, after they’ve sobered up.

[@ronetheia]

Omg!!! Will deny it, clear as day!!!🤦🏾‍♀️smh

[@tatanishagatewood2426]

AMEN

[@jesspeachie]

My dad literally does the “I don’t know” when being confronted but god forbid I ever said that it’d be the end of the world

[@IMHip2]

“ I don’t recall “ was I got after he love bombed me.

[@gigi1746]

It seems like they do things to confuse you and place you in distress. Then they place you in a situation you’re not familiar with and call you stupid. They don’t want you to figure it out.

[@J3nJ3n13]

This is true

[@yolanda9504]

Gi Gi Absolutely right

[@MegaPerson012345]

Yep my father in law for sure.

[@TeaBeeMe]

You are so on point with this 😪

[@pinkmoona]

100% true

[@hollowtreesbluelightening1754]

Has anyone every had a bad gut feeling when they first started talking/dating someone and it never went away? Like a gut feeling you weren’t getting the whole picture with them or something was off?

[@karinaadriana4358]

I hear you

[@DropinNukes]

YES, now I'm blocked on everything.

[@cameliaireland3864]

OMG YES!!!! Is just hit me

[@Teir33]

Yes yes yes! My very FIRST conversation with this person left me with the instinctual feeling that something was OFF, BUT guess what I continued to entertain this person 3 months later that initial "something is off" feeling is very much present and no matter how much I tried to brush it away the feeling remained. I don't know why but I've decided not to stick around to find out.

[@pamelabledsoe2635]

@@karinaadriana4358 morning my

[@labriascott4995]

“Even when you catch a narcissist in a bold face lie, they will deny the truth & you’re left scratching your head” I relate to this sooooo much I swear. I could LITERALLY have the proof RIGHT THERE in my hand & he’d always find a way to flip it on me, or just blatantly lie or make up some elaborate & insane story. & Every single time, I was left questioning myself or trying to understand the crazy story he made up. Deep down I knew I wasn’t crazy but he always made me wonder & second guess myself.

[@torijones9992]

So much facts!!! Catch them in many lies and they will deny it to the grave

[@MKD-dd6ng]

I'm at this point right now. It SUX after 25+ yrs of being with this man. It's like a realization you just wake up to one day. A nitemare that has finally woke you up! I'm scared, hurt, broken, and trying to go back to work after 20 yrs of him taking care of me. He said he wanted me to raise our Boys, and I was all up for it! Now I see the control in it. I didn't become bipolar until about 6 yrs ago. I think his abuse drove me to it. He was so cold and calous. He ignored me, slept around on me, and yet....I WAS THE CRAZY ONE! Idk what to do. I'm a Christian, and fight inside HARD over this. I love him, but I HATE the way this relationship has gone. It scares me to the bone to be alone again. I've never been alone. We married at the age of 18 and 19, and were hs sweethearts before that. I look back and see the red flags from the beginning. He slept with my best friend in hs. He ruined our friendship. I think he went after her hard! It hurts to this day to know he and she did that. She passed away and we never really made it right. Let's not forget to mention that he always went after ANY FEMALE FRIEND I EVER HAD!!!!! Now I'm not an idiot....I know that never was my friend to begin with.....but it just hurts to have every female I've ever tried to have as a friend....SLEEP WITH MY HUSBAND. This is why I feel I'm BPD. I don't want to be around anyone, especially females. If anyone prays.....I could use God's guidance and wisdom right now. Ty. 🙏😔💗🥺

[@iys6890]

They would make great criminals.

[@cathyswaney5080]

I live this so I know exactly what you are talking about. I feel insane at times for even entertaining the idea that he might not be lying when I KNOW he is! This falls under the gaslighting/second guessing yourself category. I want off this rollercoaster ride!!!

[@charitylane3121]

Yep!

[@1RPJacob]

If a person set boundaries but doesn't "act" when they are crossed, that person is a perfect target for narcissists.

[@HTNPSullivan]

@Rafal Jot Yes, my therapist once pointed out that the reason Mr. Wrong ignored my different requests was because there were no consequences. And when I finally told him he'd have to find somewhere else to live if he didn't get a job, that's when he claimed to have "met someone" and moved out of state. When I got approved for monthly disability benefits, he said, "Now we're styling!" To which I replied, "I hope you don't think we're going to live off my benefits." I got a 10 hour a week job and he was selling his plasma at some clinic twice a week. Up until about 3 months before my ultimatum, he actually had been working and paying his share of the bills, sometimes more! So this slacker/leech side of him was a shock! I am doing just fine financially on my own, by the way. Unfortunately, it took becoming disabled after an error during heart surgery - nerve damage in my legs - for that to happen.

[@MadisonDiaz12]

This was my problem. I had thought I'd done a good job over the years developing good boundaries but she found all my weak spots. But now I know better.

[@acharich]

Word..! 😕😕😕

[@krystalgardiner5591]

Rafal Jot yes! I have severe problem with setting boundaries! It’s literally taken 2 years of weekly therapy to finally be able start to follow through on my boundaries with him

[@KWwest]

@Rafal Jot. Wow- that’s a reality check for me. Yes indeedee, I see it’s about time to face my fear & call it like I see it - throw consequences to the wind and take care of me! Your comment made me realize what bs I’ve put up with from ALL of my narc relationships. Old me...”I’ll show them how much I care and how big a person I am, by not not getting mad, rockin the boat, OR MAKING THEM UNCOMFORTABLE (!) “ I was always scoffed at when I stood up for myself. It made me ashamed to be me. I was a bit*ch, trouble maker, difficult, pushy, bla bla bla. Well that just ain’t so now. It is my right, my spiritual responsibility and an honor to myself to ACT and NOT be a PERFET TARGET ANYMORE!!! Btw, I spent thousands of dollars in counseling- your statement was never mentioned and I thank you. It’s clear now.

[@thomaszone7027]

Whatever you tell them will be used against you. Just wait ....❣

[@ninanickel3103]

Thomas Zone beyond true. I tried to warn those that you just feed them lies because then you’ll know who said what if your secrets are ever told.

[@thomaszone7027]

@@ninanickel3103 😀😂🤣

[@TomTom-qh8yb]

@@ninanickel3103 sounds very narcissistic. Are you ...? OMG! You must be ...

[@MandyCandy2344]

Absolutely! I told him “I can’t open up to you because I know you’ll use it against me”.

[@shannonm.7469]

I found that out THE HARD WAY!

[@cherylbuttram6229]

I used to call in at work sometimes just to get time away from the controlling narc to have time to think and try to clear my head from all the manipulation. If you catch yourself needing to find time to get your sanity back and your freedom, Don't walk RUN . No explanations get out.

[@billybob9691]

But what if you had five kids with them.....all below the age of ten....he drives your car.....doesnt allow you to leave the house,get a job or communicate with family and shut out your ability to make friends.....what if you feel there is no escape because of this

[@brokenbutnotdestroyedwalke8137]

@@billybob9691 no one ever answers this question

[@classybootz6142]

@@billybob9691 I’ll answer it. Put all 5 kids in the car and drive to an out of state relative. Yeah you would be leaving the comfort of your home, BUT you’d rather protect your kids from the mental anguish NOW. Cause it will show up later in their lives and they will blame you!

[@lisam8044]

@@classybootz6142 I totally agree, and if you need money because he hides or denies you money try and put away in a bank account with only your name or give the money to someone to hold on to. Unfortunately even if you go grocery shopping, clip extra coupons and take that savings...I unfortunately had to get cashback at the checkout but not too much and save from his account...but I don't consider this stealing because we are the maid, the mother, the shopper, the Cook the mender....

[@lisam8044]

I meant money to leave him

[@xXGiggsyyXx]

He said he wanted to take care of me like a queen, yet I paid for everything.

[@sheilanesler2696]

Mine has been telling me that for 2 years now. Always an excuse why he can't get a job

[@kathleengill994]

Mine was the same

[@newarkeveryday2794]

He was projecting about what he wanted

[@Eg-jd9zt]

Lol sounds about right

[@karonsanchez3551]

xXGiggsyyXx...Boy! You and me both. For Years...no more!

[@goldengirl6149]

I can’t believe I’ve let myself get in a relationship with a Narcissist. I’m gutted. I got fooled. But I will get back up again and get the hell out of here. I’m not putting up with being in hell anymore. I literally can’t take any more.

[@barbaraadams2645]

Yeah! More power to you!

[@DeAnnaParisRN]

Me too

[@thehotcoffeehouse6081]

Gutsy move so, ya still got it...👊👊go four it

[@kikyaaakun]

Same here. Just run and don’t look back. We are too healthy to have this kind of toxic in our life🙅‍♀️

[@HTNPSullivan]

@Yasmin Webb Like most people, you and I had no idea what a true narcissist is and how they operate and the damage they do until we got entangled with one. I probably wouldn't even have realized that I felt so sad, sick and lonely because I had a narcissist feeding off me except I had started seeing a therapist and she saw all the red flags. My ex is a "covert altruistic narcissist" which makes him very very difficult to recognize for what he is. Do don't be hard on yourself. These people are chameleons. Eventually they do show their true colors, but even then, it can be confusing. I hope to learn from this and listen to my inner wisdom in future because even 2 years into the 11 I was with him, I could feel something wasn't right, that all his I Love You's were somehow fake. Also, he met me as I was leaving someone else and I was very vulnerable. So now I'm going to take my time before entering another relationship.

[@smckown80]

I’m leaving mine today. He has put me through hell the past two years. Lies, cheating, more lies. Me paying for everything. I needed this info!

[@kellysmith1792]

Be safe and strong and the best to you.

[@kellysmith1792]

@Eric Thomas sad thought Eric, maybe consider; you are the bigger/truer person because you gave your "YOU". And in the end, it only shows that "you" are a worthwild person, "you" are the worthwild mate or friend, you prove that you are and were the BETTER PERSON! ? ? But I do so wish we could all just follow the advise of Everclear (musical group) "they can't hurt you unless you let them" try as I might - I haven't mastered it yet, heck don't think I've even fully accomplished it once, but I won't stop trying. The best to us all in any of these sour-sore and sh_ty situations, the S's were not on purpose😏

[@Zoegottiy]

Surprise that’s it mostly bf/gf but no one is talking about moms or parents I’m. I’m not even dependent so I’m stuck here right now. Every time when I find a job or make some type of money something happens I sometimes feel like this evil crap has control over my life. But I been trying to find a job forever then got Covid cus of my dad came home with it and knew he had it. Finding a job and having all these curve balls has been tuff

[@crthompson1793]

Be safe!

[@camisnyder3460]

@@Zoegottiy I’m sorry!! I have a Narc mom but fortunately my father was a saint and took us away from her but I do know how awful it is to live w one. Hang in there and I’ll be praying for you to get a job and get away safely!!!!

[@rinokumera9977]

I call it sleeping with the enemy and that’s how it feels. Not good!

[@missy4him]

Rin Okumera I own that movie and watch it a lot because I can relate to sleeping with the Enemy. I hate it!

[@angelasauceda2465]

Exactly 🙏

[@emilyearl1858]

That’s how my mom described my marriage. It’s sooooo true!!

[@tuuts87]

Yessss!! Ommgg spot on.

[@jessicamartir56]

💯💯💯

[@Metron3]

My narcissist had no problem apologizing and admitting his wrongdoings, but only to entrap me again and bring me back around a huge cycle.

[@estherysaffa1590]

Same as mine but am leaving him now

[@2004danadilworth]

Yeap

[@hirambaker6139]

What did you do in the situation? Because I get upset with my mate over something she constantly disrespects me with. Yet whenever I get upset and try to address it. She spins the event and trys to tell me I'm a narcissist.

[@rokokni8767]

That's just projection. My ex did that to me for months. Sometimes it's handy to notice because generally if you're not being whatever they say you are and maybe won't communicate properly about it or beat around the bush then get mad at you to distract you ( this is what my ex did anyways ) then she just kept me around to watch her son while she texted other people on her phone. plus she cheated too which just made it worse because it's like "you're not the person I asked out, wtf happened to them?" cause she went from an angel to ( especially now knowing things that I know ) to someone who I honestly can say went from the best person in the world to the person I literally have never hated anyone else more than. But thats her, selfish to the core.

[@MissTinker1781]

Yes. Some do have manners lol

[@cutepitbulls6516]

The one I was dealing with apologized but he would do it again and act like we didn’t just discuss the problem and play forgetful

[@SuccesLoa]

Same! Enough is enough

[@LeoTheGreatest1]

Mannn

[@Timbertrussminifarm]

Yeessss my husband does this

[@DannyJaraMusic]

Bet

[@hahna77]

I never even get an apology, it's always my fault. The closest I ever get to an apology is, "if I did or said that I'm sorry" and "I'm sorry" then mumble "even though I didn't do anything, if it will shut you up."

[@tracybrooks1471]

Narcissts have destroyed my life; However, I am still here...trying to learn and heal. Thank you for your time. ❤

[@Deutschlehrerin888]

Get well soon dear 💖Mentally and physically 🍀

[@audreyrobertschannel6839]

🧸I can totally relate, praying you and I can get through this🥴😘so mentally exhausting

[@_angelicr]

Me too Tracy, a lot of us are in this together. Stay strong & love yourself ❤

[@shamblerdimensional2487]

You destroy your life aswell... Do not play victim. It is your fault do not build a borders. It pulls you to narcissism behavior.

[@anneroarty6473]

Me too Stacy everything is your fault. What I could never understand was the anger bitterness and resentment. Wolves in sheeps clothing. I was called a sociopath he was the sociopath he proved it in court. They want you to die so they can get everything for themselves. It goes on and on. I have learned to love myself.

[@gianna144]

Selena Gomez “Lose you to love me” Finally a song that speaks to the effects of emotional abuse and the healing process.

[@kimmcneill815]

YEESSSS! I thought the exact same thing!!! Thank you for mentioning it's by Selena Gomez because I was never quite able to catch who made this song. Much love and strength to all dealing with these toxic soul-sucking narcissists 💖

[@krystalgardiner5591]

Gianna Codee yes that song has been so healing for me, I sometimes listen to it straight for hours

[@tracywalker8863]

God that’s mad I cried to this song when I was still with him😥

[@daylispam4581]

this song had me crying! omg! such a beautiful song!

[@Jessagirlie]

Yessss!!!!! I love this song! It spoke to me on every level

[@michelejenkins3377]

Hello Lisa, I need to let you know how grateful I am that God used you to save my life from a VIOLENT COVERT NARCISSIST! I never knew that even existed. After 4 years of confusion and pain where I thought I was losing my mind, one day I heard a whisper in my ear "NARCISSIST"! That was my God! I went to KZbin and you popped up. I cried with joy when I realized my that what I was going through WAS REAL! It sounded so crazy that I knew no one would believe it because I almost couldn't believe I was really living this caos. While I'm still healing from the physical, emotional and psychological abuse as well as financial abuse, I know I am so blessed to not have to spend the rest of my life with a demon! Please keep educating us because you pass on power and hope and you are appreciated and needed! GOD BLESS YOU!!!

[@kallebyn8548]

🖤

[@sabrinasolutions5887]

Yes that happened to me too I heard the word narcissist in my head and I was wondering what does it mean..I looked on Pinterest and that was when the floodgates opened...am still in it cause I have nowhere to go...it is horrible I have lost my faith, confidence some of my sanity

[@lorettaj.providence4749]

Yes, thank you Lisa as I am now understanding that I am not alone and there are more Narcissus out there and this personality is real. God bless you all for sharing your experiences. Love to all ❤️

[@johnnieh7642]

God Bless You Sis, God was defintely covering you and said "enough is enough"

[@Chidlhealt]

Same happened to me

[@katievictoriabrown]

Exactly, they never take accountability, responsibility for anything!

[@vanessasouthern1792]

They even tell you how you’re feeling. If you feel a certain way because of an awful situation they created....the situation didn’t happen so you can’t be feeling that way. It’s drives me insane. Then I’m called mental. I’ve spent my holidays in a cottage on my own in the middle of nowhere. Listened to the radio, read my book, ate nice food and slept in peace. Isolating but better than being systematically bullied. They are now working in a gang. A cult. The narc matriarch and her flying agents groomed with money and gifts. I’ve got the best gift, it’s priceless. Freedom.

[@willjackson4505]

vanessa southern Omg!!!! Going through this currently... She can make a statement at 2pm and I catch her in a lie... I begin to discuss it and she will say at 2:03pm She never made the statement just 2 mins ago... so I’m like what is this conversation about if you didn’t say it? I mean you just said it 2 mins ago!!! She goes I should be asking you.. then accuses me of lying on her and starting the argument so I can leave the house to go cheat!!!!! Wtf!!!!!!

[@lucibloom5966]

I HATE that...telling me how I'm feeling or not feeling as if they have the slightest clue. He'd tell me I was full of rage when I was actually calm and not reacting at all to him, then tell me I'm lying when I said I"m not feeling rage right now, then tell me I didn't feel sad when he left, but didn't even ASK how I felt, just told me?? Then tell me I'm lying when I would say how I really did feel? Lunatics. If I did get angry it was over something outrageous he did that made me feel righteously angry like inviting me somewhere then not showing up claiming he didn't think I was coming even though I told him numerous times that I was?? Then get angry at me for it?? My father would tell me "well you shouldn't when I'd tell him honestly how I felt when he did a certain behaviour and I said "Stop telling me how I 'should' or shouldn't feel and start listening to how I DO feel" and he shut the hell up and didn't know what to say. First time I'd ever seen him at a loss for words. :D

[@shawnadeyo]

And Peace

[@meganimal8]

Oh hell yes! He screamed at me in public for no reason, I told him it was humiliating and he laughed and said, it’s not humiliating! ... I said I’m not asking you I’m telling you! Again he repeated, it’s not humiliating, acting like it was the most preposterous statement he had ever heard! I was called mental and crazy and jealous on a daily basis.

[@Jl-ou4jt]

Excellent Vanessa. IM TRYING really hard to escape..run...and recover that freedom. ♡

[@KLR_FML]

I have found myself saying “Why do you kill my happy vibe......a lot?” That’s when I knew I can’t allow my life to be wasted. Learning to be alone and Independent is the best way to have armor on when you decide to date again and you will be able to (almost) always know a narcissist before you even say hi.....

[@tmo.48]

Me too, but I am 61. It is a long Cold War but with all this new information I feel so free and enlightened. Knowledge IS power 👍❤️💪🏻🇱🇷🌸

[@ModestLadyK]

I feel this I’m there now my energy is low around him I have to Get out

[@vidanasoleil7087]

Beautiful dear ! Much wisdom in your thought and action !

[@kimgordon3695]

💝 long cold war with only 1 Predator. Glad you're free 💝 see it for miles and miles ✔✔✔

[@tinamichelle6969]

Thank you for sharing

[@Ilovesummer123]

“THATS THE THING NOTHING MAKES SENSE.” Such a true statement

[@MariaAdukeAlabi]

They act like the relationship is a competition. They are not able to even give you a compliment when you look nice or do something amazing... They just see the flows on everything you do, wear or even achieve. When you achieve something they let you know that that is no a big deal because they achieve something bigger. They are always aware of all the things that you do wrong or don't do. They love the people that complement then and don't like the people that somehow can be a competition for them.

[@Laurakate_xo]

Maria Aduke Alabi This was my mum. 31 years I felt like it was a daily sport for her always in competition with me. She always felt like she was one upping me when really it was just a one sided competition. Sad really. I always mourned the love and care I should have had from her instead.

[@acharich]

Mmm, they love picking out flaws.. Some do it to help us improve, which is different, but they do it maliciously.. 😕

[@marketingwithwilliam]

@@acharich at times it starts getting confusing which is which (doing it to help or maliciously) 🤔

[@candy2468]

Well i almost questioned myself becoz i was turning myself to be a narc who was dealing with a narc. But i now realise it wasnt me. I did compliment them. But they didnt.

[@primalway1]

Yes...in my experience there was this subconscious competitive drive I saw in my ex-narc that she would stop at nothing to compete for some "higher ground" she thought existed in our relationship. It was ugly to see. I never understood it until now. These are some sick people.

[@jeanekumbo2122]

Gosh!! You are right on point. I've been married to a narcissist for 30 years, and I feel like you're talking about me. I feel like I don't even know myself, or what I want with my life anymore. I've spent so much of my lie defending myself, and trying to survive. Thank you for this excellent analysis.

[@dixiegardner6207]

Run, Jean. You will be happier alone.

[@angieash9560]

God go with you

[@lucyloo2520]

Same here. Found out in my mid-sixties after 30 years of marriage. Couldn't leave due to circumstances. The was 15 years ago. Now in my late 70's and totally stuck. Am becoming more and more disabled. Even if all you can do is walk, walk away now. I'm so sorry you are living this hell. It's truly depressing to wake up to. Mine is also a porn addict. We tried therapy, he lied in sessions. I'm not even sure if he is still on the sneak or not. What a sad way to live out a life. Get out Jean. ❤‍🩹

[@lisamichelle8413]

So in a nutshell it’s about control and inconsistency

[@lisaaromano1]

And devaluing you as a human being...

[@thegigadykid1]

@@lisaaromano1 basically

[@echase4790]

They love to create CHAOS. It distracts from having to be accountable for their behaviours...

[@primalway1]

From my experience the control mechanism she used was to create trauma (mild and severe) by creating doubt and insecurity through overt but mostly covert means, ... then dangling the much needed closure for reconciliation, in front of me like a carrot in front of a horse. Exquisitely painting everything gray and brilliantly facilitating my inward maintaining of the illusion that she was a good woman/person (just misunderstood). Hope was weaponized as well...Very nasty stuff. Mixed into all that was the run of mill narc strategies and behavior. I had ZERO clue of what was happening to me. Now I am wide awake. The depth and reach of the games were profound. 5-6 dimensional chess is what she played. I am at a loss for words when trying to describe what and how I feel. Im in a fog I suppose. I'm glad I woke up and left. Its been 1 month. The hardest part has been realizing how damaged I am now and how ill equipped I was to ignore the very obvious red flags I had very early, often and all along. I'm angry at myself more than anything. Its pointless to be angry at a narc. It's the equivalent of being angry at a shark for savagely eating a sea lion...its just what they do, its their nature. Anyway, best of luck to all of you. You are certainly not alone, Im right here with you. Onward and upward now people!

[@tmo.48]

Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc. -they only try their best but don’t always succeed

[@tiffany.9873]

How to spot a Narcissist??? Easy😉 When you need them. the most... they disapier or aren't there in the first place. Thank you Lisa for all your Time and work you put in to your Videos. We Love you ❤️

[@Neffect371]

YES WELL SAID WOW!

[@christar9527]

Or they’ll outright abuse you. My family did that when everything in my life was lost and I had two severe eye injuries with facial damage. Narcissists really hate you when you can’t do things for them. It’s all about what they get out of you, never in reverse.

[@nicolapurvis]

Omg! Spot on!!

[@aleshiawilson2848]

Perfect 👌

[@nellsmith9721]

Yes yes yes so true !

[@rmanney100]

“If you feel good about yourself THEY HAVE TO BRING YOU DOWN.” It was like whenever I was happy he would be mad. Even if nothing has happened for him to get mad even if I’ve been walking on eggshells all day just to not make him upset he would do things like ignore me when I asked him a question or just shrug it off making me feel really confused and sad inside. Wondering what it was that I did to him. Now I know I did nothing and he just liked conflict.

[@mariamessina1851]

Ive tried to engage my boyfriend in a conversation and he would ignore me and not respond to me unless it was a direct question...wth!!!

[@KO-gi3gp]

Maria Messina ....Right On!!

[@WillBlindYouWithLight]

That's mine

[@brendaedgehill7761]

my exact experience .they are sick ppl

[@classicheraldgameplays5364]

@@mariamessina1851 yes lol are all narcissists the same. No uniqueness just a puppet of devil. 🤣🙏🏽

[@frankievalentine6112]

When you confront them about anything, they will have an extreme reaction. Yup! There's a lot of crossover between narcissistic and borderline personality disorders, too, though.

[@recovered4life]

There totally, totally is!!!!!

[@okaycola2]

please don’t lump BPD in w assholes ~ we borderline ppl always get the heat intended for narcs!

[@orafranc]

@@okaycola2 i agree with you. i have BPD and unfortunately living with a narcissist, and you can totally tell we are not the same, we buck heads alot i cant stand him, he's the only person that makes me so mad, i can even get along with even my enemies, i cant wait to get the hell away from my roommate 😫

[@camisnyder3460]

Omg, his reactions freak me out!! Everyday I’m like what’s he gonna be like or say today??

[@Timbertrussminifarm]

My husband called me crazy as he was coming forward about a huge lie he told me

[@drmtokes]

Fake empathy..... it's amazing how well they've learned the words, but when they say them you don't feel it. For a long time I attempted to convince myself that there must be something wrong with ME because she was saying the right words.

[@jackmcminn2520]

They all got this empty look behind their eyes as well

[@sherenegrantthompson8285]

Like a empty soul

[@phantomOfTheOpera485]

This is too accurate. I was in a relationship with a narc and I always thought his eyes/glance were weird. I would always look at him and studied his eyes cause I could not put my finger on what it was.

[@universaltruth2025]

They are always aloof and scheming about something

[@beatatokarczyk2594]

Totally agree, their eyes never show emotions, very cold, lifeless.. very scary

[@kerizmarolle9710]

Yessss..my narc x looked so miserable. Had this evil glare...like evil wowwwww

[@jovanna1967]

Their life has to always have drama going on

[@estheradao]

Jovanna Alvarez true that this is something that I’ve realized now

[@jbodhi1843]

Always, it never stops

[@hectorcastro347]

LA PT laport t x

[@cesarherrera1926]

All the dam time

[@Neffect371]

FACTS

[@christyharper5520]

You said a narcissist can’t open up about their self .. in my case when ever I would start talking about myself he would talk over and continue on with another story about him..

[@nuna2968]

Sounds like my Husband, if not that, he would try to compare a story of mine to one of his own. He'd completely take over the conversation as if I weren't talking at all.

[@angelinaalarcon132]

As Lisa mentioned may be is a form of manipulation in thinking he is opening to you and the information may just a lie or mostly a lie so you become vulnerable. Also, it is always about them they don't care about you or listening to what you have to say sad... horrible people 😪

[@TheMaisiemay13]

Oh my god....yes!! I felt like I wasn't heard

[@harbertrobert6960]

Hello friend how are you doing today hope you are fine with peace and love over there?

[@aehrmartinez7062]

Because they want to be the one to be praised, just let them talk and talk

[@cassandramurphy7454]

They are not FAIR people. It's always you being fair to them but when the table turn they never stand up and be FAIR to you.

[@dvawva5197]

Face Watcher... They truly watch your reactions. They will examine your facial expressions for clues of victory. Hurt=HAPPY for them. Such demons.

[@leapingjoseph8462]

Delores Ayers, that is so, so correct. They know your facial expression, and even turn on more lights to get a better look. That might sound bizarre, but it happens all the time.

[@ds4448]

So to make them happy, we can fake sadness 🙂

[@radfish2960]

Yes

[@melbwil]

Yes yes yes

[@Jessagirlie]

Absolutely! My ex narc prided himself on keeping himself calm and collected but as soon as he was confronted with things he did that were wrong and abusive and what kind of person he really was he couldn’t keep his anger in check. He would get upset and sometimes violent, he would avoid the conversation and run away or he’d tried to guilt me for bringing it up as if somehow I’m in the wrong for wanting to address the issues and find a resolution.

[@cr6388]

They are extremely generous only to make it hurt worse when they take it away. I'm so glad for this education. Such validation on questions that I could not answer.

[@labriascott4995]

Oh man I’ve experienced this soooo much to the point where I wouldn’t even accept anymore.

[@MsSade-rn3gz]

Yes very petty people! So sad

[@wowsers7067]

My husband would do things like give me keys to our home....then when he didn't get something he wanted that we already talked about me not doing, he'd take them away. He'd tell me he wanted a divorce. Just small things that anyone could get pass, he'd make big. Or try and make me feel horrible when I was happy and treating him well. Just the weirdest thing. I questioned whether I'm a good person. Or if I did anything right.

[@meghanworkman6449]

"I am the only boss around here" PERFECTLY describes my mother. I asked my mother once, very calmly and politely, to please not do something, and she completely lost it. Slamming drawers, cursing, turning her back on me, etc. And my very codependent dad saw and heard the whole thing, and just stood there saying nothing. She and my dad were visiting me and leaving that afternoon to go home, and for the rest of the day she wouldn't speak to me - she just glared at me with mental daggers shooting out of her eyes. As they were walking out the door to go back to their home, she tossed out a dismissive "bye" and didn't even look at me. Gee, no wonder I grew up being terrified of upsetting people or of any kind of confrontation...

[@traceyclifford6333]

Meghan Workman I had that my entire life, my dad saw what she was doing and did nothing... didn’t even see if I was ok after she was violent. It’s hard.

[@meghanworkman6449]

@@traceyclifford6333 I'm sorry. That is definitely hard.

[@rosebud3466]

My mother was violent, verbally abuse and had many trips to the psych ward. She has improved somewhat but she still doesn't really care about any of us it's always been about her.

[@acharich]

Sounds familiar.. 🤦🏾‍♂️♥️🙏🏾

[@kelliwhittaker7502]

Block her number and never cross paths with her again. That’s NOT a mother. That’s an abuser.

[@traceyclifford6333]

Having a narcissistic mother I know only too well how this goes, my feelings are irrelevant always, her problems are always worse, it’s always about her, she does nothing wrong ever, if I’m upset because of her nasty words it’s my fault not hers, even after her being violent it’s always been my fault. I’m now 40 and just realising that it’s not me that’s the problem it’s her... the damage has been done, the daily guilt of feeling responsible for her happiness is immense and it’s so hard to cut the tie but every cell in my body says it’s the right thing to do no matter how sad I feel at the thought of not having the loving supportive parents we should all have and tormenting myself that I might be wrong but I know I’m not and it’s heartbreaking.

[@lisaaromano1]

These are very difficult decision to make....

[@traceyclifford6333]

It’s incredibly hard, I’ve been programmed to to think mothers love their children and I must have been really bad... I now realise that desperately hoping I was adopted at age 8 was not normal... hoping my real mother would come and get me and love me, take me away from the violence and cruelty. I feel bad but I don’t miss the contact, the insults, the complete lack of empathy and the downright nasty comments. I have no idea how to move forward right now but watching these videos helps so much just knowing I’m not the only one feeling the despair and devastation at realising I have no parents to support me at all, never have and never will. I always thought I was weak but now I realise I’m not, I just need help to see things for what they are and find out who I really am.

[@icpoms]

Jane Smith I, too, around the age of 6, wished that I would be adopted by a family that loved me. My home was an awful home to be raised and led to narcissistic partners in my life. Sending love and healing hugs to you.

[@JustCallMeLiberty]

My Mom in a recent discussion/fight over my horriffic childhood even blamed infant me and said I wouldn't ever let her hold me. Somehow I remember the crib the room and the corner where she parked me and closed the bedroom door and left me ...I don't know how long this went on but I remember it very distinctly. These Narcissist are a mess.

[@godswarrior1239]

Take it slow maybe you can just go very low contact. Not everyone can cut ties completely because it's not in them and they still do very minimum for themselves not the narc. Go low and slow until you know. NC is always best if you can. Everyone is different find out what's right for you. But most of the time right after you go NC is the worst for certain kinds because they go absolutely nuts because you won't talk to them or answer texts, block them on social media etc. Etc. I wish you well and the best choice for you.

[@leemurnin1275]

Mine wanted me to have a 50k a year career full time, sex on demand, me to do all the housework cooking and cleaning and taking care of anything household wise. Never argue or talk back. Lmao he wanted a stepford wife. And honey, I am not the one.

[@camisnyder3460]

Same oh and I had to raise three of his horrible kids. Fml. Dear Lord, help me and my kids!!!!!

[@tmo.48]

Stay strong!!! I am strong too, you’d think he would knock it off but he just keeps on charging.

[@kimgordon3695]

We're TWINS 💝 My heart to You!

[@bethanyyates1138]

😂😂😂😂😂iktr

[@Diaryofaqueen777]

Yeah that’s what I’m going through...

[@DeborahLArmstrong]

They play so many games, and it's always about making themselves feel superior. If you went through something hard, they went through something much harder so stop whining. If you accomplished something, they've accomplished much more so stop bragging. If you're in pain, they're in more pain so get over it. If you know something, they know more so shut up and listen to them because they always know more about everything. If they hurt you, they'll never admit it and even if they did it would be your fault that they hurt you in the first place. It's all about making themselves feel superior, even if they have to crush you to do it. So what? Only they matter. You are just a tool to them to help them maintain their self-image as better than everyone and more special than everyone, etc, etc, etc.

[@lisaaromano1]

so true

[@tommcfarland5368]

But if we arent supposed to be codependent people, and we arent supposed to be narcissists....what are we aimin' for exactly?? Whats it called??

[@stacyramirez5302]

Everything that you said is just like the man I married and was with for 20 years.

[@DeborahLArmstrong]

@@stacyramirez5302 mine too. 20 years. But he is the nicest guy on the surface. No one would ever suspect. If I told my friends we were having problems they would probably blame me because I'm the "crazy" one.

[@stacyramirez5302]

@@DeborahLArmstrong your right about that everyone thinks he is such a great christian that serves god and couldn't be anything else than a great guy. And because of dealing with all the abuse and manipulation for years to the point of having a complete break down and emotionally mentally and physically drained to the point of feeling like I was going insane from his narcissism then I did look crazy because I couldn't take it anymore. When you finally break thats what they want so you do look like the crazy wife and to blame for everything. Then he looked like the wonderful husband that he portrayed in front of everyone.

[@archanglesheaven]

According to them you know they can say something right now in front of you and the few seconds later they will deny it

[@kamicrum4408]

Try haveing had a stroke at age 29 afterbirth of our 3rd child. He used stroke relsted memory isdues against me all the time taught the chikdren & alk hus flyingminkey to do the same!

[@valeriezaitzieff1462]

Actions speak louder than words. Don't believe what narcs say. Watch what they do. By their fruits (actions) you will know them.

[@karo1564]

Yes yes yes!!!! All of this happened to me- and it was extremly confusing- exhausting and painful- I absolutly did not know what I was dealing with then.

[@triciasimone7]

Same

[@recovered4life]

confusing, exhausting, painful. absolutely the best description, in a nutshell. thank you.

[@maryd3243]

Same here

[@tmo.48]

Krista Olson -My maiden name is Olson. I love it❤️

[@susanbothwell2234]

My mom NEVER validates me...NEVER. In recent years, it's become blatantly obvious how little she values me. When you said that the narcissist acts disinterested, like you "don't matter," it really hit home. It's painful when the person treating you this way is the one person in your life who should make you feel seen, heard, important, smart...and unconditionally loved. I've learned there is such a thing as conditional love and it's been a hard lesson to learn. I am expected to be available for my mom, be there for her as a sounding board, listen as she complains or repeats the same problems over and over without solutions, but I am not "allowed" to have a voice. I am interrupted, cut off, ignored, or flat out told to be quiet. If I offer any input, show intensity, want to discuss ANYTHING or show emotion, I am told I'm pushing her in a corner, asked "are you gonna do this now?, could you lower your voice, your voice is shrill, do you have to go deep about everything? I don't need input, I can't take this right now...I'm tired ... don't feel good... If I dare interrupt her, she gets angry, but THE SECOND it's my turn to talk, she turns down her hearing aids, turns up the TV or simply begins watching TV, starts talking to someone else, diverts her attention elsewhere or walks away. OMG, what this pattern of treatment has done to me, has been so damaging. Yet when I bring it to her attention, there has never been a sincere apology. Usually I hear, "well...I'm sorry, I guess I'll just not talk anymore, " or... "I shouldn't be around anymore, I just want to go 'home,' and be with God...or maybe I should just sell this house and move,since I seem to be a problem to everyone in my life." Laura...my relationship with my mom has REALLY REALLY fucked me up. I'm almost 53, and I can see now just how much my issues with my mom have affected my entire life, every decision, every relationship, every job...everything

[@susanbothwell2234]

I want so badly to take your course, but I just simply don't have the funds right now.

[@manunascimxnto]

my mom treats me EXACTLY like this, so im not alone 😮😢

[@lucyloo2520]

The instant a narc feels caught he will jump on you with full force, using everything in his verbal arsenal to bring you down and make you doubt your own self. Mine likes to put o a show for everyone, even me. Am disabled and now, almost in his full control. It is suffocating. He acts like the wonderful husband. opening doors, making meals, going to store, etc.. in private, he has to always bring me down, one up me, always know more, never ever never be grateful for anything I do, has never showed any admiration, tears apart most anything I say, has never supported me emotionally, and has lied to and about me. By the time I woke up to the TOTAL reality it was too late. Pushing 80, GET OUT NOW BEFORE IT'S JUST TOO DAMN LATE!! Lisa, thank you for your tapes. they have been so helpful in grounding me. 💙💜❤

[@cl2710]

Omg... the “Wait, what?” moment. YES! That’s how I’m left feeling constantly!

[@michelejenkins3377]

Yes! What about when they constantly say "You don't remember?" when it never happened!

[@neiclemons8297]

I saw it all, then i said goodbye and left. Never looked back.

[@annelindabuckley20]

Good for u

[@rypoelk997]

Empathy is the blood in the water comparison is so true. I was at an event that had a room full of people (pre-covid) and there was a narcissist running for political office. I talked to him briefly before and kind of wanted to avoid him at this event because I wasn't interested in supporting his campaign. When I entered the room, he was all the way on the other side and literally looked like a predator wanting prey the second he saw me. He rushed through this crowded room full of people right for me. I think all because I was polite to him before and was nice to him. So yeah there was no escaping him, he went right to me. They can detect empathy and boy do they run after it.

[@vasilminkov4046]

Can you tell, what happened next?

[@kimberlymarie3651]

That explains why after I divorced my narc husband all my relationships I've discovered quickly were with narcissists with addictions and I quickly broke up with them. I got so fed up with narc's that stopped looking for a relationship and remained alone for the last 10 years ! Being alone is better than losing my mind with a narcissist, but it gets lonely, where are all the good men ???

[@loveeaother3180]

problem is after 35 yrs of being narc supply I feel like I have become so jaded and now I am not who I use to be! I am hating who I am now

[@vanessasouthern1792]

loveea other I totally understand. I feel the same, I’m 43 and so damaged. Only thing I’m trying to cling onto is that I’ve broken free. Now I have to start over and figure out who I am as I don’t know, all I’ve done is people please the whole of my life. Seeking approval outside of myself. When I was never going to succeed, it was futile all along. I’m exhausted and have so many health problems. I hope we both start to slowly mend. It won’t happen overnight. I’ve had to accept that it may take me the rest of my life to recover. But at least I can. Some people never have the courage to break free, we did 😊

[@crypto_Cold]

I feel the same way I'm in a relationship and I'm afraid of hurting my girlfriend

[@crypto_Cold]

I feel like what I'm working towards doesn't matter I'm noticing I'm more insecure than I used to be about my looks have insomnia have to drink to sleep always uncomfortable 😔 afraid little to no confidence I don't know what to do

[@longbone6416]

30 for me..and now emphysema..don't know which is worse

[@MariePriss]

Wow I’m so sorry. I can relate so much ! You will find yourself again. You will be that light you one were when the darkness targeted you and tried to destroy you. If I can, I know you can 💗

[@abcdefg208]

They are so toxic exactly what I'm going through

[@shannjorentwins]

Gertrude Von Koffeedrinka I’m in a same situation, he’s now ignoring me for weeks and I ignored him back. His words doesn’t match his actions and I’ve been with one narc in the past I just don’t want to be in another one again. But I’m staying away for my sanity. 👋

[@ThePlayListAI]

I’m hurtin bro

[@triplekids3]

I’m leaving my soon we’re been married for 33 years

[@Eg-jd9zt]

They love the drama and a woman to chase them. It’s pathetic. And when you aren’t that woman and have boundaries it blows up fast. They have zero supply potential there

[@maryharris5384]

Me too , 5 years now and I love him but not sure how he really feels, doesn’t message me as much for 6 months now, says bad WiFi but I know he’s been online, no sexual advances for a year said he’s saving it 😳 and watching porn , ghosts me don’t answer the phone ! Waits until the middle of the night before he messages and tired gotta go to bed early and online while he talking to me , leaves the page and back and forth with me, ghosts me all the time lately !

[@magdalenarivas9441]

Dear Lisa! You've been sharing such valuable knowledge with people who are going through or have been through such terrible heartache due to narcissists in their lives that you deserve a special THANK YOU and GOD BLESS YOU! Especially that it's all based on your own painful experiences, so it's all worth even more. Thanks for all your insight, kindness, caring, empathy and encouragement. You give people power and hope to change their lives for the better and live to the fullest, just like they truly deserve. Thank you!

[@TheMoxin]

Ugh. That one up game. Lived that for 16 loooong years. It almost killed me too. Stomach cancer saved my life! Left my husband while I was recovering. I healed my mental health by watching your videos Lisa. Everyday. You helped save me. Thank you so very much. My life is completely different now and I am truly blessed.

[@yellowbabymarshmellow3040]

🙏

[@mc2332]

I've always found even before I awoken to this stuff that if someone tells you they are a nice person or generous or non abusive or whatever they usually aren't. Someone who knows what they are just is. They just do Life. People with the most to prove (and mostly to themselves) are usually the loudest.

[@the_eerie_faerie_tales]

So true!! I was just talking about this was my girlfriends a few moments ago.

[@lottesrensen8004]

That is also my experience

[@godswarrior1239]

Exactly! Those of us who ARE just DO! one does not have to toot ones own horn. Though we fall in the trap defending ourselves and it seems we are tooting but we are just shocked, hurt or upset. Then they mock you in return fire "oh yeah you need to pat yourself on the back you do 90% of everything". Lol in reality we do more like 99% but who's keeping score when you're simply living your life and just helping people family and otherwise? The narc! Always keeping score but according to their thinking or rules! We never can win they will forever always be the winners! Legends in their own minds. Move on and live narc free you will regain health and so much more!

[@lisaaromano1]

I actually had someone literally brainwash me into believing he was a man of character...so I totally get it...

[@laurac964]

Yes mine actually in the beginning talked about how good of a man he was and how he hated cheaters and that he was very responsible... you guessed it ... he was irresponsible and horrible father and a cheater ... you should not have to tell people you are a good person ... just BE one !!

[@khundkar5662]

I am going through serious trouble with my narcissist partner and OMG all the signs are there with him! The main focus of a narcissist is to mentally abuse you with their sweet words; in fact your destruction is their goal to achieve.

[@daniellewahlgren4091]

“That’s the theme, nothing makes sense” As an individual who tries to analyze and make sense out of people. Someone who constantly tries to believe in their best intentions, I felt this to my soul. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said it just doesn’t make sense. Thank you!

[@kimgordon3695]

💝💝💝

[@rosemerrynmcmillan1611]

Too true!!

[@Stebon6480]

💯

[@energywithgrace6274]

That's what I've noticed more than anything lately is the lies and always saying. " it wasn't me." And...they lie even when they don't have to lie. This gaslighting stuff is crazy too. It can make you confused. Uhey can gas light in different ways. Like taking your things and then putting them back only somewhere else. Anyway, thank you for everything you're doing Namaste

[@Zoegottiy]

Wow u r the only person I seen mention.i thought it was just me but I realized she would take my things and I couldn’t find it for a couple of days den one day it’s just there in plain sight

[@Real2k25]

Yea made me confused

[@rmanney100]

Omg yes!

[@rmanney100]

@@Zoegottiy yes the exact same thing happened to me! He would always misplace my things and when I would go crazy looking for it all of a sudden it would be in a place I didn’t have it. Sometimes he would be as bold as to put it back where I just looked for it then call me crazy for misplacing my things. It actually did make me crazy and I started to question my memory and my sanity!

[@Zoegottiy]

@@rmanney100 a lot of my stuff would disappear then the next day I find it in a simple spot. Yea a lot of my stuff is gone gone to. It sucks we have these type of people in our life’s

[@happymealmw]

My boyfriend lies about everything no matter what it is. He barely ever tell the straight truth about anything. He believes his own lies and it’s sickening.

[@kimgordon3695]

That's not your BF THAT'S A PATIENT. FRIEND ZONE & MOVE ON

[@findpurpose6300]

@@kimgordon3695 It's a patient! So true. LOL I feel like I need raise mine. But you can't change people. Only move on and take care of you.

[@kellyprice1024]

Hate it when my smile is wiped off my face.

[@jackiejames3898]

It's soul crushing. Sick people☹

[@sarahsage1114]

Don't ever give that THING the satisfaction, keep smiling because THEY are dead inside...

[@wandak3025]

That was done hundreds of times to me. He loved the pinched look on my face.

[@horsesense04043]

Sad I've lived with a nar 29 yrs never gets better

[@tmo.48]

You might hate it but it gives them the biggest thrill. It’s a way for them to feel powerful because they actually feel powerless. Don’t go feeling all sorry for them because of their pitifulness-they are grown adults and old enough to have grown and matured in a healthy way. They had their choice but they would rather see you end up in an asylum than to imagine themselves going to therapy so that you might live together in harmony. I think the only time they come close to any true happiness is when they are having sex. The worshiping of their own body is culminated in the sex act. Give them emotional power over a victim and give them sex and those things are what they crave. But they’ll never be happy

[@alibre4484]

When I left him...I got one up on him!

[@tamied9631]

ali bre hehehehe 😂🤣 Good one 👍✅

[@2bethankful48]

I'm on my way out .. Oh my goodness ! And with help and support.

[@lisaaromano1]

Amen!

[@k.c.5666]

Me too! Forever!

[@jenniegarcia8941]

👍

[@wisheskeletso4948]

My mother was the most praised and generous person that I looked up to, never could amount to the greatness that I saw in her. She was loved by many, but was never as intimate with me as her only daughter, I thought I was too sensitive and was looking for more than what any human being could give. She would poison my own daughter against me... this was when I knew I had to grow same balls or I will never get to experience life, and as if I mattered

[@rifcamathurin2404]

Can we just agree on how beautiful Lisa's eyes are? Thanks for the amazing work you do. Namaste!

[@lorettaj.providence4749]

Yes she is beautiful and expressive eyes ❤️👍

[@TheMaisiemay13]

I couldn't take my eyes off her eyes either, make up is on point

[@scousemouse9715]

Whenever I'd be 5 words into something he'd not want to hear, he'd accuse me of shouting and walk out and then ignore me and the kids for days. Eggshells is an understatement.

[@anng.4542]

@Scouse Mouse - I'm dealing with one who, I'm often reminded, can't stand the sound of my voice. Because I "sound snooty". Once I tried to tell the person that people just have to be accepted for who they are; that you can't "fix" people. With a raised voice, the "n" immediately told me to "shut up!"

[@Bookjunkie407]

The ignore hurts me the most...I feel abandoned, rejected, forgot, and neglected and I dealt with that in my childhood and my bf knows that he does it to hurt me to crush me.

[@angelahutto1666]

Yes eggshells and always saying they can't stand my voice and jumping out of vehicle running through the streets because they don't like something you say

[@WillBlindYouWithLight]

Yes

[@michellerichardson3090]

That's when you start ignoring them. Whenever they start talking about something, just blow it off or just act like you're not interested

[@nofartubul4249]

oh my god it was exactly what I have gone through. Thank you for letting me understand. I wish there could be a quick solution to wake yourself up and just leave this person.

[@divinelyguided2229]

I remember my narcissist tried to throw in my face that I was abused to justify his abusing me...while he was trying to win me back. None of his tactics work...I'm constantly thanking God that I took charge of my life and divorced him...

[@kathleenb6375]

Gmi got the same comment. He side “I was primed for it” so sick.

[@bradmcewen]

"They have to bring you down" Ever experienced again will be unmistakable. Quick & decisively.

[@yvonnelygo681]

THERE S ONLY ONE PERSON IN THE RELATIONSHIP= You. ...remember that.

[@suzannenewman7352]

No it takes two to dance

[@tmo.48]

Suzanne Newman -the point is that they won’t dance. So yes you end up being the only one in the relationship. Kinda like the joke that goes “no, my wife is tho” when asked if he’s married.

[@stephanieward3448]

This. Is. Soooo. True. Its. All. About. Them. And. Their. Needs. And. What. They. Want. To. Say. They'll. Say you. Interrupt. And. Talk. Too. Much. Even. When. They. Ask you. A question. They. Interrupt.

[@Marie-tq9wx]

Number 11 on his list of 10...married to myself...hmmm

[@jennifernewell9846]

you look absolutely beautiful, and, you made my day today. I don't know which rule made me laugh the hardest, but as a 60 year old woman, thank you for the freedom

[@lisaaromano1]

You got this!

[@the_eerie_faerie_tales]

My fave was the "It Wasn't Me" one.. lol so true!!

[@HTNPSullivan]

Jennifer Newell I am 65, and was abruptly discarded by Mr. Wrong on October 1, like he was giving notice to his landlord. He took the whole month to move out, spending 4 days with me and 3 days with his new victim. We were together 11 years. I was miserable for 9 of those years, but now understand the many issues about myself that kept me from leaving HIM. I paid a heavy cost. I nearly died from a heart attack. (Isn't it interesting that he suggested I should get life insurance about a month before?) I read a book called Dying to be Me, and understand that if you betray your true self over and over, your body as well as your mind will deteriorate. But I'd prayed every night that he'd meet someone else and move to another state, and God finally made that happen. What I didn't expect was to feel so much agony and even MISS him. These videos have saved me. Knowing about trauma bonding and "peptide addiction" has helped me find ways to ride out the withdrawal. I am still struggling, especially with this being Christmastime, but am getting freer everyday. Much love to everyone here. None of us could ever have imagined this thing called narcissism until living with it. It's like being abducted by an alien!

[@cherylelancaster8791]

Thank you so very much for this video about the games the narcissist plays. It took me years to understand the patterns and am still, years later, learning to trust, and be my authentic self - and deal with the damaging effects of a traumatic, invalidating relationship. Notice the patterns and get away as soon as you can, as time is too precious to waste it with a person who can truly damage your psyche. This video is so entirely accurate and affirming/clarifying to me.

[@pennyrussell6400]

you made me giggle too! I loved the Wait what?? lol Done that many times!!

[@heyyaww5890]

One easy way to spot a narc is when you realize that you treat your dog with more care, love & compassion, than a narc has ever given to you.

[@rhondaneal8003]

Yass I had a person who did me that way and I couldn’t understand the dog could do no wrong he would shed hair everywhere every 5 minutes drool chew up my purse and shoes but I got hit in the face for bringing up the dog because he can’t do no wrong narc people are sad

[@enigmaren]

This is so accurate it’s frightening. So glad I saw the signs and left before it killed me.

[@Aamir694]

How can someone do evil things to a beautiful woman like you. Sad

[@drrydog]

aww.. well trust me, they do it to any women, pretty or not

[@annamariaiannacito5291]

When I had really had enough with him, I was speaking with such sarcasm, (on the phone), I nearly chipped a tooth. I had NEVER spoken to him in that tone before. I began researching and haven't stopped for the last four years. Videos like this confirm and reinforce the convictions!! Thank you Lisa. I am four years N/C and that wont ever change!!!

[@GTGinley7]

Hearinf all this is literally making me shake, I WISH I knew what this was before! IT IS NEVER TAUGHT! My Christian parents raised me to be so kind and empathetic and optimistic and kept me sheltered so hard that I was the perfect Prey for my toxic ex..... RC BLAKE is really good to watch. I wish this was taught!

[@spiritualawakeing]

Amen

[@EC-om2mr]

Wish I knew so much of this before losing 33 years of my life. I see myself as a shell compared to when I first came into this life with a narc. I am codependent, a person of high empathy,a caretaker, an oversharer. 33 yrs with the narc, shared lots of my life (which includes my family) and as he gets older these things I shared years ago are used in such ugly ways to attack, berate, belittle, shame me and make me feel bad about my family. He even feels he has a right to talk bad about first spouse (someone who is not been a part of my life in 34 yrs) and will flat out say he has a right. To say I'm off balance doesn't come close. I struggle at times with even the simply things. Confusion, doubt, second guessing the choices and decisions as I go through my days 😨

[@camisnyder3460]

I’m so sorry!!! I wish and pray for better things and days for you!!!! I’ve lost 6years but I’m getting stronger everyday. I thought he’d taken my faith too but luckily some friends led me back and now I turn to God everyday all day and I know he will help me and everyone else who suffer from these demon souls!!

[@barbymayo2249]

Try 46 years. Still here, too old now.

[@doloreskelly649]

38 years married, only realized he is a narcissist the last 6 months,hopefully in the new year I will be free. Thank you for your advice

[@kimgordon3695]

What you are is a beautiful soul 💝

[@kathleenb6375]

Same, I am older and only just figured it out after 20 years. Such a huge regret, I’ve lost everything.

[@naturallawhealth9272]

I could pick up on the "fake empathy" at the beginning...I wish I knew what I know now before I fell for the bait.

[@tmo.48]

They are MASTER baiters. 😂

[@harbertrobert6960]

Hello friend how are you doing today hope you are fine with peace and love ?

[@margaretcordova3268]

Omg Lisa! This is my husband 100%! I absolutely despise this man. There is nothing I can do around this man where he does not start a fire! He’s a habitual liar. I will not put up with his crap anymore. Our relationship is not normal at all. But financially I am stuck in a bad situation. When you said they cheat and steal you hit it on the head!!! Omg! I never ever thought there would be anyone who could totally ever understand my situation! Where did you learn all this? Wow! Just wow!!! Thus describes my husband to a T!!! SOB…I wanted to write a book 📕 to help others but I had no idea there are so many of us going through this!

[@arelettia5670]

I just went through a month of love bombing with an extreme Narcissist. It's amazing how much they have in common. I almost fell for it but when I challenged him by not checking in.....he dropped me,

[@camisnyder3460]

You are soooooo lucky!!! Seriously, I am so happy for you. Now you can receive the real love you deserve!!

[@shawnadeyo]

Mine would ghost me while I was sitting right beside him.

[@evka24]

U should get up and leave.

[@camisnyder3460]

That’s soooooooo Narc of him. 😑

[@stephanieward3448]

Yes. So true. If. The. Have. Someone's. Elses. Attention. Your. Like. Ignored. My. Boyfriend. Only. Contacts. Me. When. Hes. Alone. If. He. Has anyone. Elses. Attention. You. Dont. Exist.

[@Timbertrussminifarm]

My husband does this!! He says a few words 2 me when he gets like this . He will either be on his phone or be playing video games.

[@kimgordon3695]

Wow! Stealing 😂

[@bryansandiego]

You and Richard Grannon changed my and so many lives for the better

[@MadisonDiaz12]

The bringing me down thing was so subtle that it would take me DAYS to realize she had put me down after something good/happy happened.

[@shaneoconnell2994]

I felt happy with my ex of 5 years, I didn’t know what a narcissist was when I was with her. She was always hot then cold, when she was upset sometimes over nothing, she would go silent sometimes for days, I ended up figuring her out and researching found narcissist, it was dead on. When I found her out she left, ghosted and blocked me, after 5 years together no closure nothing just gone. I tried and tried to fix and be happy, she didn’t want any of it. I’m done of being hurt by her not caring. The hard part is when she did love and care she was the best to me, then would be the worst. I tried to help her show her unconditional love. She didn’t want any of it. Lesson learned the hard way. Great video thank you!

[@simonspoke]

Yeah, It's when the person shows you so much love, but then can just turn the tap off instantly and you're left wondering how on earth can they just shut off their love like that when your love is still there!

[@cameliaireland3864]

I ve been in the same situation Shane

[@nicoladowney397]

0

[@richardeliasjames5190]

"The heart that's meant to love you will fight for you when you want to give up, pick you up when you're feeling down, and will give their smile when it's hard to find yours. They will NEVER get strength from seeing you weak, power from seeing you hurt, or joy from seeing you cry. The heart that's meant to love you wants to see the BEST YOU, not the hurt you! Never forget that." - Richie • • It takes courage to love someone this way, in fact, it takes the same courage to love yourself this way. When you can love yourself in such a way as to be able to understand and take care of your emotional needs, respect, protect and stand up for yourself, set boundaries for how you let other people treat you, then you will be able to do all of this for someone else. Empathy is what you experience when you are brave enough to feel someone else's pain in your heart and it moves you to action. When you feel empathy for another, the very last thing that you would ever want to do is cause them more pain. Love protects and most of all, love heals. You don't have to have all of the answers and solutions in life as long as you focus on one thing: letting all of your choices be guided by the strength and courage of your love. 💛

[@nothing55rk]

Lisa, you just validated me...12 years of living her lies and questioning everything..thank you so much..!!!

[@enigmaren]

My ex used to flirt with women in front of me, then swear he wasn’t trying to flirt, and it took me years to understand that he was doing it deliberately to punish me for whatever he was mad at me about at the time. When he would cheat, it was always the other women who started it.

[@sinqobiledimema3308]

Same

[@lamiaakhbbaze2164]

Same

[@4x4_Gal]

Ditto

[@oOboogieOo]

Yeah always looking for another woman’s attention. His brother’s wife who is also a narcissist; waitresses, women at the church, and somehow he lets me who the woman is because he starts mentioning a certain woman and I notice how the new woman starts paying attention to him flirting back with him and I think to myself - this woman thinks she is the only one - He hasn’t committed adultery yet. I think this flirting is a way of punishing me.

[@yaphead20]

Thankyou Lisa you have no idea the lights you just turned on. This is truly powerful stuff.

[@jabney283]

I literally confronted a covert narcissist (daughters paternal grandmother) about taking a photo of me after I specifically said no, I'd rather wait until later when I have makeup on when she initially asked, a d caught her ass taking a photo/video anyway. I sent her a message about it and of course she didn't acknowledge it. So when I picked my daughter back up I sure did hop out of the vehicle and confront her about it. And that I didn't appreciate her violating me.

[@willjackson4505]

Jessi Abney My ex knew I wasn’t a fan of pictures or Facebook... she would secretly take pictures of me sleeping or looking my worst I guess for her own amusement... then when I confront her I’m over reacting... uploaded pics of me to her page without my permission...

[@jabney283]

@@willjackson4505 Jesus 😳 There's a video with my name (old phone number) and photo of me on her KZbin channel. I feel like it's disguised as a video of my and my daughter.

[@sema9363]

Only realised in the last 2-3 weeks, I have been married to a covert narcissist for the last 6 years. For so long, I shouldered the relationship deficit and blamed myself, telling myself to just try harder. Now I am awake and detaching, narc husband is panicking. First time in 6 years, he had a sleepless night.

[@49Lynnette49]

This is the best narc video ever. This is 100% my life. Maried for 43 years. Thank you my dear.

[@a.k.4085]

This woman is a life saver.

[@DeborahLehmanHoppingMedia]

Just broke up with a narcissist boyfriend. 5 months. He refused to talk on the phone and only communicated via text. It IS like I was able to record the conversations and games he played. It wasn't clear to me as it was happening, but now I have it in black and white. Ugh....

[@drrydog]

ouch. same. I had my gf do this to me. and on purpose. not a single phone call, and would throw some horrible "pretend breakup texts" into the mix anytime I was getting really happy or comfortable.

[@kimgordon3695]

"are You recording ME???" lol 😂 they don't want anyone to know

[@gregaandatreeservice]

Now I understand why she never talked on the phone with me, unless we were in an argument. What an incredible learning experience

[@JKWise-mn7ij]

Man, the clarity. I understand so much more about the general negative aspects of human nature.

[@rinokumera9977]

And if them seem strange and not like normal people you know that’s a big clue.