10 Signs Someone’s Always Playing the Victim

Do you know someone who has a victim mindset that everyone is out against them and everything is completely out of their control? Do you find yourself drained while they stay in a perpetual state of discontentment? To better explore what a victim mindset is, in this video, we’ll discuss some of the signs someone is always playing the victim.
Disclaimer: It is important to use your best judgment if someone is truly in a victim mindset. There are people who have hardships that are valid, even if hard to understand. This article is not to discredit or devalue the experience of others, but rather to shed light on an issue that may be used to manipulate and harm other people.
Playing the victim is also one of the most common self-sabotaging behavior. If you recognize these signs in yourself and want to be aware of more ways you're self-sabotaging, check out our video on the habits of a self-destructive person: • 7 Habits Of A Self Des...
Writer: Sidney Thompson
Script Editor: Isadora Ho
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Sam Rain
KZbin Manager: Cindy Cheong
Brightside. (2020, February 13). 10 Signs Someoneâ s Always Playing the Victim. BrightSide Inspiration. Creativity. Wonder.brightside.me/inspiration-psychology/10-signs-someones-always-playing-the-victim-795792/
Nichols, N. (2020). 7 Signs Someone Is ALWAYS Playing The Victim Role. Nancy Nichols. knowitallnancy.com/know-it-all-nancy/blog/7-signs-someone-always-playing-victim-role
Raypole, C. (2019, December 12). How to Identify and Deal with a Victim Mentality. Healthline. www.healthline.com/health/victim-mentalityresponding-to-it
Schewitz, S. (2020, July 19). 10 Signs You Might Be Dating a “Victim.” Couples Learn. coupleslearn.com/10-signs-might-dating-victim/
We also did a voice reveal video if you haven't seen it yet: • The VOICE Behind Psych...

[@Psych2go]

Are you guilty of this? raise your hands if you are. Oo. The first step towards change is recognizing the behavior in yourself. We also did a voice reveal video if you haven't seen it yet: kzbin.info/www/bejne/n3qopKKAh7-bhac

[@alexandracortez5985]

Hi omg I’m the second won lol

[@egg6944]

Psych2go,my friend is toxic...i dont know how to deal with it....i cant break our relathionship because she also helps and makes me feel bad at the same time..what should i do? She also relates to this video....

[@sagittarius4064]

@@alexandracortez5985 Keebi • 76years ago

[@sagittarius4064]

@Kiibie you copied my profile pic and my name you copy cat

[@peasant5063]

How do people time travel?

[@SilentTrip]

I can sometimes fall into the victim mindset, but try to correct myself when I notice it

[@thedivyanshii]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/naCZn52Gh9-VfdE .....

[@gaildahlas]

Me too. I know I fell quite far into it a few years ago, but I'm a lot better at not acting that way anymore. Definitely not perfect and I still make life harder for myself sometimes, but the improvement is nice.

[@lilyai4062]

@@gaildahlas sammeee *u*)9 I'm proud of you girl! ❤️

[@peppermint5117]

i wish there was a video on how to understand someone who is playing the victim

[@ankevanderwesthuizen4110]

I wish there was a video for getting out of it

[@faesahl]

Once I had a friend who’d *purposely* exclude herself from conversations then accuse us of ignoring her.

[@beatricebenitezsalgado]

Seems like she wanted attention and was upset after not seeing anyone make an effort to talk to her.

[@seinshwehtoo3581]

@@beatricebenitezsalgado Yep there are people like that out there.

[@rawanalani8812]

my friend was exactly like that.. i hated it

[@beatricebenitezsalgado]

@@rawanalani8812 I used to do this to see who actually cared then I stopped because I knew I was just seeking validation.

[@rawanalani8812]

@@beatricebenitezsalgado exactly but she still does it.

[@venuss1818]

Btw don’t let a narcissist accuse you of playing victim after they treat you like shit. This happened to me and last month, I had to go to the ER for a panic attack because of all the psychological stress I got from dealing with my abuser. Sometimes people really are victims and it’s not because they are crazy. Please upvote this so we can let others know.

[@auburneytuckerson2959]

I get accused of being entitled and playing victim all the time, though they're the ones playing the victim against me.

[@blankearth5840]

Narcissistic people will invalidate you and label you as having a victim mentality. Remember that only you can ultimately conclude wether or not you have such mentality

[@Adrienne.Michelle91]

This was me with my son’s father. I was always “playing the victim” for calling him out on his BS and not putting up with his abuse.

[@rottenweiler]

Yeah, happened to me too. And then he acted like I treated him horribly and called me all sorts of things, made stuff up, and dragged a friend of his i used to be friends with into it to set me off

[@gllnvsp1407]

10 Signs someone’s always playing the Victim 1. They Try to manipulate you (it seem like there's ALWAYS happening bad to this person) 2. They place blame Elsewhere ( TEND to blame their shortcomings or external factors 3. They hold onto the past (Holding grudges) 4. They make excuses (always say excuses in ANY situation) 5. They’re okay about their situation ( DISSATISFIED with the way things are and yet do nothing to change it / use dissatisfaction in their life so you take pity on them) 6. They don’t trust you (they become NEEDY so that you’d give their needs / no matter what advice you give them, they wouldn’t LISTEN) 7. you feel drained when they're around ( you always support them but NOTHING seems to change) 8. They’re Passive ( they don’t speak action even if it’s NECESSARY ) 9. They’re insecure or unstable ( believing there’s no way to CHANGE themselves) 10. They attract Drama ( it seems like someone is ALWAYS mistreating them)

[@lunanina20]

Sounds like me.....

[@cl8wnm5n]

3 gets me the most and 4 sometimes as well. Other than that I feel like I'm ok

[@abrahampalmer8761]

Sad but true

[@tanickasinclair7035]

Thank you!!!!!

[@rainajung185]

Thank you!

[@signsofaprincess]

Who else is here to see if they’re always playing the victim. 😭😅

[@Psych2go]

I'm sure we all are at one point or another when we feel hopeless!

[@deadm1413]

That's practically what I am feeling rn like maybe I play the victim card... But then again, I don't ask for someone else's compassion... I just keep it to myself and just go along with it...

[@cupio-stardust]

I am, I’m trying to change.

[@No-wr3bf]

@@Psych2go i feel kinda hope less and i will apologize for my actions and behavior because i think i should apologize

[@loneshewolf3309]

I did, but realized we all do that sometimes, but others make it a lifestyle!

[@catherinejackson2651]

Not everyone going through a bad time is playing the victim card nor do they want advice. They want someone to listen and to feel heard. I went through a bad time and was talked with a friend whom I had supported through a rough time. She would interrupt me with advice and then would get angry when I wouldn't take it. Her advice was bad because she didn't take into account who I was. She was a bold extrovert and I'm a shy introvert. Needless to say we haven't spoken in years

[@mandypandy111ify]

When I said that I feared abandonment from a friend, the only I response I got was someone telling me to ask him if I'm "unsure where the relationship stands". The fuck am I supposed to do with that? That's not even a response to what I said! So yeah, I agree with you. Some people give advice when it's unwanted, or give advice that's utterly useless.

[@Anonymous-fj2uo]

But there are people that do. There was definitely a time where I felt used by this so called friend. She played the victim, making it seem like she was running away from her controlling, abusive family back in her country. I let her into my home, helped her get into college, work et,. Only for her to turn around and admit she had no problem with her family, they weren't abusive and controlling. She would always play the victim and make everything about her. Makes me mad every time I think about her.

[@catherinejackson2651]

@@Anonymous-fj2uo Yes, there are. It would have been nice if this video had addressed this part however as I'm sure my former friend would have said that this described me.

[@catherinejackson2651]

@@mandypandy111ify and then blame you when you choose not to follow their ill-suited advice.

[@mandypandy111ify]

@@catherinejackson2651 Yeah, exactly! It's frustrating!

[@unbeatabel]

I love how people who watches this channel are so self aware and actually try to correct themself I'M SO PROUD OF ALL OF YOU💜 we can be better and we can do better💜

[@bennurmi7189]

With growing up with narcissistic parents, I find it hard to know if I'm playing the victim to people or if I'm going through a PTSD moment from childhood. Each one of these points fit, even though I can trace the evidence back to them and the cultist church that my siblings and I were raised in.

[@Socalfishingkids]

You are playing a victim. Live and let live. You're looking for a excuse

[@bennurmi7189]

I was diagnoses with PTSD because of those situations. It's easy to come on here and say that when you have no context of what happened while also not knowing the people behind it all. Have you ever told a war vet with PTSD to live and let live? Easy to do from a keyboard.

[@Leona89A]

Thank you! I was wondering the same thing. Coming from a very abusive family and then having a narcissistic boyfriend for 3 years, severely destroyed my self esteem and confidence. I just don't know who I am anymore and I feel stuck. Many of the things in this video apply to me so I'm also not sure.... Am I trying to be a victim more than I am or am I genuinely battling mental health issues. One thing I know for certain is that I know I need therapy.

[@angeladaisy7228]

same..

[@476f7474]

I also can relate to all of this and i felt pretty angry at the accusations that these are signs of "playing the victim" when what's described looks more like a mix of deep depression and ptsd. But this is what most people like to hear: Lists that apply to everyone with mental issues that can be used to justify abandoning or even further abusing the affected people with no guilty conscience. Basically, the concept of how society handles these things is that if you need help, you only get it when you can convince others that not helping you will have negative consequences for them. So, over time you either learn to use what you have to leverage for your continued survival or you, well, you don't. If you survive, it will be because you eventually lost all your morals and did things you'd regret if you still had that ability and once you're at a point where your strength is only superceded by the coldness of your heart, those people who ignored you earlier, they come back to claim credit for your strength. So, abandon all moral to begin with, learn to always enforce your will regardless of any opposition and once you're in charge of your own shit, start taking revenge. I mean, getting like this, it kills a lot inside yourself, so taking revenge might be the only thing you remember how to do and if you do enough of it, over the years you remember who you once were. And then, you can use all you used to be as fuel to further flame your escalating revenge against life itself. Sacred be Lady Nemesis. Hail 333.

[@fatefulverdida3377]

I swear. The first few seconds of the video instantly made my mind click. "I was playing the victim game the whole time? Was I actually manipulating others?" And that was way before the disclaimer.

[@thedivyanshii]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/naCZn52Gh9-VfdE

[@meowdazaimeow]

Same :/

[@kt334]

Same...

[@ankevanderwesthuizen4110]

Honestly same but idk how to stop it

[@don.sebastian6283]

Same man, I honestly always asked myself if I was playing the victim card, but that begining made me have a heart attack to the thought of the fact I was INDEED playing the victim card...man I really need to turn a new leaf....

[@beatricebenitezsalgado]

What if they aren’t playing the victim but just constantly feel down, insecure and unstable all the time?

[@thedivyanshii]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/naCZn52Gh9-VfdE

[@ns6043]

People like that exists too I agree...but I think this video is to realise if you are playing the victim not to find out if others are playing victim. ..so sad I have some of these points for myself I need to do something about those...hahaha

[@p7ppi610]

i relate to most of the points in this video but i’m really not playing the victim, i just go through depressive episodes, feeling insecure about myself and just feeling down in general but i will never lash onto someone to get help or *use* them.

[@joan3608]

I relate to some points in the video. but I can't tell apart signs that I'm playing the victim versus signs of a depressive episode. after this video, my depressive episodes just seem like I'm asking for pity or being an asshole to others

[@beatricebenitezsalgado]

@@joan3608 it’s only through manipulation and intent that we will know if it’s acting.

[@yeehaw6118]

i am absolutely guilty of this. i used to try so hard to blame everyone else for my problems instead of myself. in reality, because of it, i wasnt accepting my responsibility for my wrong doings and it was preventing me from actually being happy. with therapy though and talking it out, it has helped me so much to move on and now im actually so much happier than ive been. thank you so much for making these videos. i hope it can help someone like me realize their faults and try to work on them.

[@Ace_Maus]

There's a fine line between PTSD/mental health symptoms and this. Some of these things, I do out of trauma, depression, and anxiety, some I do out of the thoughts/habits my narcissist abuser (who also acts like a victim) implanted in me. It's difficult when you oncenwere a victim and get stucj in fear and habits that won't let you move on even when things are improving. So, either way, yes, professional help is needed.

[@chadpowell1832]

Gotta say I live around people like this , always never their fault they’re always the victim yet somehow the hero of their own story

[@thedivyanshii]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/naCZn52Gh9-VfdE

[@johansnyder866]

Same here

[@bunnyboo6295]

if someone is a victim and no one wants to be there they kinda have no choose then to try to be the hero

[@manicpepsicola3431]

@@bunnyboo6295 a lot of times these people are not the victims and are actually emotionally abusing the people around them that means they arent the victim no one should be throwing pity parties to make other people around them feel as miserable as they do you can tell your friends how you feel but dont just unload your baggage on people thats rude and emotionally exhausting as the person being unloaded on especially when you didnt want to be in that position victim complex people are usually manipulative and can be abusive the definition of the saying misery loves company i will never let this energy into my life ever again People with this attitude are always going to be miserable and lonely because it is unsustainable thats why its so toxic break out of this if its how you are you will never be happy with this mindset

[@bunnyboo6295]

@@manicpepsicola3431 Its kinda sad that we have to ignore crimes and just let those people be murdered I have been working on not being toxic been numbing myself the more I see them die in my head I meditate tell myself who cares no one else dose and not get emotional involve when i see abuse any more I never was normal and I have been trying to only think about myself instead of caring for others. Personally if someone wants to tell me what's hurting them it never bothered me I was always interested in letting people feel. But that small voice in me don't want to see the world go in that direction if we all keep turning are backs it can be someone in your family next to get killed and well who cares just another normal day companies can always replace them .

[@NenaLavonne]

It can be very challenging dealing with people like this, but usually their behavior comes from a place of pain. ♥️😞

[@Psych2go]

Yes.. did you also cover a video on this topic?

[@angelarengifo1262]

True

[@NenaLavonne]

Psych2Go not specifically about people who play the victim role, but about how negative behavior often stems from internal wounds, especially from childhood. We learn behavior that seems to help us fill our needs. 💙

[@NenaLavonne]

Manuela Aguirre ♥️

[@angelarengifo1262]

@@NenaLavonne it's so true what you say, it's what happened to me and I have played this victim role for such a long time and I've just recetly realized but not thanks to psychology but to spirituality ... but what you say is how it is

[@suk_luvie9145]

I've always felt like I had a victim complex but then I realized that I just wanted to be listened to and heard by people. I don't really like to ask for advice either. I always want to grow as a person and try to be the best version of myself.

[@minatwom]

no matter how many ppl listen to u its u whos gonna change yourself get yo shit together sis

[@mothersins]

@@minatwom sometimes individuals merely need to be heard, she wasn't implying that she was depending on others to do her work for her lmfaooo.

[@babyqueenxo]

@@mothersins Victim complex is a prime trait of narcissism, so is always wanting to be heard (craving attention). They're literally right next to each other 💀

[@suewint1585]

I think we're all empathetic towards any victim and want to help, its when they have additional motives to ruin other people's lives while they victimize themselves...that's when you start questioning everything they do!

[@AbrahamPalmer-wj5cb]

Exactly

[@Im_Julissa]

Title: "All the reasons why I unfriended my best friend"

[@thedivyanshii]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/naCZn52Gh9-VfdE

[@rahulrajr8790]

Same here

[@liberationgz4120]

I had to end my friendship with a girl I've known for 5 years bc she is always down and out yet doesn't change much. And literally made excuses about why she simply can't invest the time or energy to work on herself despite help and support offered from HER OWN HUSBAND. I understand needing to go at your own pace but the point is you're supposed to actually WORK on it, not just the bare minimum to maintain the situation and not really move much at all

[@moagustafsson5231]

Same here unfortunately, it ended pretty badly and we haven't spoken for a while, but I feel my anxiety from it has left me

[@giampinalo5359]

Same here my friend always comes running at my home for money when see needs it n her whole life revoleves around toxic relationship with her bf just becoz of her her parents thinks i am some type of bad spoilt girl just becoz their daughter is same type of person they think of me

[@5amiam]

I feel targeted. I was a fake friend, a narcissist, a energy vampire and now a victim! Sorry dang! 🥺

[@xxshaecxx8048]

I’m happy that you grew out of it and learned! A big step forward! 💖🦋🌸

[@lisathuban8969]

I was that way too. High five for us for growing out of it.

[@dragonkfg]

A victim apparently

[@brandonlee0071]

Being able to admit it is powerful. Some people do it and deny it at every turn smh

[@pengo2696]

Glad to see the growth 😊

[@BastarB]

I can see myself in every single trait shared in this video, and I've been aware of it for some time now, the only exception is that I mainly blame myself extremely harshly about my shortcomings, not other people around me. I'm amazed how much it takes to learn to take true responsibility for my actions and for my life, I've realized that the victim mentality have been like in every corner of my perception for years, and It takes alot of time and effort to change those toxic habits of learned helplessness that I've been dealing with. I mostly sorry for all people in my vicinity who has been negatively affected by my negative behaviour:/

[@kimr9378]

I think this is helpful to educate someone that might have "unprocessed trauma" and/or "sexual trauma" instead of them playing the victim.

[@PiscesSun_Capricornrising]

hurt people hurt people. Deal with trauma so it doesnt affect relationships.

[@rottencandyco3625]

I usually don’t realize I’m playing the victim until afterwards, and that makes me mad and disappointed in myself. I know everybody isn’t out to get me but I feel hated by everyone around me sometimes. And I complain about it. I try my best not to now though. But at least I don’t have most of these things.

[@apriliamoon]

Usually, there is a reason for this, and blaming yourself more won't really help. It is normal that you want to be heard and understood. Usually, our inner critic is formed in our early years, and what we say to ourselves are words we heard growing up. Sometimes, your complaints might actually be valid, sometimes we complain about something recent that we experienced that hurt us, but actually what really hurt us happened much earlier in our life, and we are re-living the emotional experience of layers and layers of our past hurt. This is why our current complaint might seem unreasonable to someone who only sees things on the surface. It might seem like a benign event. However, they're not knowing the reasons for our pain, which doesn't diminish the reality of our experience. This is why so often the advice they give is not really the solution, it is detached from our emotional reality. They might hear things we say as excuses why it wouldn't work, but it is only because they just see the current problem and not the real issue that lies underneath. Often what we really need from someone is just compassion and validation.

[@LeonorCorteRealll]

That is important for you to recognize. It's sad that they only pose these traits but dont show how to work on them. That would be better. but there are many articles to read about it fortunately!

[@jolandak8556]

@@apriliamoon You said it very well.

[@HussainAlwael]

Practice meditation and journal more often

[@perryh.5306]

If you played the victim with me...I wouldn't be mad...I would embrace you....and I wouldnt want you to be mad and disappointed with yourself.

[@4l43l4]

I've been told that I play the victim card a lot and honestly, I kind of do though I'd say it's extremely unintentional. I hate being the victim, I never want to be the victim and for a while, I end up becoming and embodying this role fully. It's sad really. I hope to detach myself from this mentality one day.

[@mandypandy111ify]

If it's unintentional, then you're not playing the victim card. To play the victim card means doing it on purpose.

[@agentblackbird9435]

Me too. A lot of times I’ve expressed being unhappy about hurting someone and I’ve been claimed to be a victim. It’s terrible because I too do it without thinking.

[@Lianna_Is_Me]

@@mandypandy111ify for me I'm not doing it on purpose to hurt anyone I have abandonment issues from past events trauma deppresion social anxiety anxiety and ptsd from stuff and my mom says I'm doing it for attention but I can't do anything about it since I live with her and I'm insecure about it I vent online so people can help me out and stuff

[@indiadelon8771]

Same here

[@taniar523]

​@@mandypandy111ify At the end of the day if it's intentional or not it's still victim mentality because you're still blaming others. It's a tough lesson I had to learn myself. People who take responsibility don't act like this even if they did in the past they take action to get out of self pity.

[@paulbourdess925]

Even when I had life actually do things beyond my control, and I was down and sad, I realized I was draining to be around. I however didn't seek sympathy or manipulate. I left people alone, and went inwards to control what I could. Playing the victim just makes your situation worse because you give up the little bit you can control of yourself. Also, I have friends that play the victim themselves way too often, and I've learned that giving in is the worst thing to do.

[@ridodobird4119]

✨Introducing my perfect family✨ My dad: anger issues and neglectful My mom: victim complex and neglectful Me: daddy issues, mommy issues, afraid of confrontation, fear of abandonment, anger issues, horrible self esteem, affection starved, etc

[@imknownforstartingafire2223]

Omg same to everything! Hope you’re doing ok!

[@ridodobird4119]

@@imknownforstartingafire2223 I’m doing alright ig, thanks :) I hope you’re doing okay too

[@la_potato2485]

Omds that's so horrible, I hope things get better for you and you get the happiness you deserve!

[@starkilla7777]

God bless you child

[@lifeisnotalmondtofu8629]

I felt that. It was totally the same for me.

[@laviniaodelia7331]

Aaa I relate to half of it. I blame my "laziness" to prevent me from changing and kept being nosy about it. I must be draining my friends without realizing 😥. Anyway, thanks for the video!

[@thedivyanshii]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/naCZn52Gh9-VfdE

[@puffcatco]

Hey, we're both humans, everyone goes through a stage of their life where they do fucked up shit. as long as you think about self improvement and know that mistakes are a part of life, everything will be okay. I've also been someone who often played the victim card, and I'm trying to improve. Unfortunately, I do not have the guts to apologize, which I'm quite ashamed of. Get better soon, and take care of yourself, alright?

[@how.disability.justice]

When someone tells you they're a victim, listen to them carefully, listen to the story, think about what systemic policies and cultural aspects are causing that. Don't ignore it. Don't ignore them. Once you recognize, then join with them and others and collective organizing. The work to resolving this needs to be led by the people most impacted

[@niamh7047]

Thank you for this video! I definitely played the victim in the past and I'm glad to say I've been working on healing and have been unlearning all of my self destructive behaviour over the past few years.

[@christinedamsgaard7053]

I like this video but I feel like it should be partnered with “How to get out of this mindset so you can be a good person”. I love these videos, but a lot of them are about how victims see it but the fact is sometimes you accidentally are the person who’s toxic/draining without knowing because you’re stuck in a cycle in your head you can’t break

[@MaryNAdam]

Its called take on responsibility.

[@apriliamoon]

@@MaryNAdam to some people it might be much harder than you might think, and recently the biological reason is discovered for this. We have the false belief that we can change everything by just shifting the way we think, but actually shifting the way someone thinks might be the hardest. So what Christine said would be way more useful to those who suffer, than just blaming them. Usually, they don't want to be this type of person, so giving them ways to improve their conditions would be much better.

[@apriliamoon]

Usually, if someone has a toxic behavior, they learned it from their parents and their surrounding during growing up. Unlearning bad self-talk and learning compassion is actually the way to be better first to yourself, and then it translates to the way you treat other people. Try to see where the things in your head come from, you learned them from others usually. Try to find out who told you things, try to discover what your inner critic wants from you. Often your inner critic blames you to get you to behave in certain ways so that you avoid potential dangers. Try to find out what the dangers have been when you were a child, are there any of these dangers still there to trigger you to re-live your past traumas again and again. I was also stuck in this for two decades, before I found my way out, and learned what this cycle really is. It is actually an emotional flashback, and it stems from childhood traumas, and this trauma is often layered because it was repeated during years of growing up. What is often not seen as traumatic, is emotional neglect in childhood. The latest discoveries show how harsh this affects the child's brain, it even causes visible damage. There are many forms of abuse and neglect and they all cause issues later in life. It takes time and constant effort to heal from this. It is helpful to understand what triggers you to get into this state of mind. Also, what helped me a lot was having a safe space far from anyone or anything that might trigger me into it. Safe space can give you the opportunity to sit with your hurt feelings and to get through them without suppressing them. It is a painful process, and naturally, people do anything to avoid it. But going through it makes life a lot easier, it feels like getting rid of a huge burden.

[@TheMarshmallowMushroom]

@@apriliamoon Thank you.

[@christinedamsgaard7053]

@@apriliamoon This is such a beautiful and helpful response. Taking responsibility is important but sometimes you have to know what the root of it is.

[@alexandrialeonora6542]

Some of these sound like the actions of people with major depression, though. Not all, but definitely many of them.

[@thedivyanshii]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/naCZn52Gh9-VfdE .....

[@swatisaini6447]

Yes bcoz by victimising themselves they are silently calling out for help

[@cat_goose9592]

i don’t have depression but my mental health is terrible, i ended up in therapy and i do a lot of these. not intentionally, i don’t even realise i’m doing them.

[@apriliamoon]

@@cat_goose9592 sometimes it is a cry for help and desire for understanding. People tend to give advice and they wonder why someone doesn't follow the advice. The thing is, the person who feels wounded is not telling things because they need advice, but because they need compassion and they want their feelings validated by someone who means something to them. Usually, if someone is often asking for validation it means they haven't been validated emotionally as a child so they didn't learn how to self-validate. This is why therapy is helpful. If the therapist understands this, they will sit with you with your pain and validate your emotions, they won't try to comfort you or get you out of feeling hurt about something. Most people don't understand how to validate someone's feelings and all they do is wanting all negative feelings to end as soon as possible. However, some negative feelings are normally to be felt based on life experiences. If we suffer some losses, or something bad happens it is normal that we need our time to grieve and feel sad for a while. Sometimes we might overreact to something, and then it seems weird to others why we have such a strong reaction. This is caused by emotional flashbacks, they happen when we experience something that resembles some past traumas, so our reaction is actually based on layers and layers of past hurt that was not healed. It takes time and self-discovery to find and understand all the layers and grieve them properly.

[@cat_goose9592]

@@apriliamoon i think definitely i do it for validation, i have a lot of trauma, i don’t want advice from people, i just need someone to actually accept it and validate my feelings.

[@dukevada3]

I'm guilty of not being able to speak up for myself... but I never thought of it as playing victim until this video... thank you.

[@AbrahamPalmer-wj5cb]

Same with me to at times

[@blankearth5840]

You’re not guilty, you’re just aware

[@fufjim8939]

I had a friend who was a victim and she doesn't notice that and wasn't aware of her negativity and needy at all. No matter how hard i tried to help it didn't make her feel better. It was so frustrating to help her all the time and i felt awful to be around her. In the end i just became to hate her and even if she now doesn't play the victim i cant be around her without feeling drained. Really thank u for this video!!

[@playwithkenito]

glad to say i was the 114th viewer😌

[@Psych2go]

Happy 114th viewing!

[@ur_typical_fox5883]

im the 2,615th viewer

[@caelands]

atleast i was 10,003rd 😌

[@shetalks6414]

Finally someone who doesn't comment "1st" xD

[@sunnyluna5042]

Now you have 114 likes

[@k.t3888]

*10 Signs Someone is Always Playing the Victim * It's me when alone 😔

[@Psych2go]

Me too.

[@rxge.edxts.]

2 weeks ago ＼(°o°)／

[@jenetonwufuju9731]

Same

[@amritaswift443]

@@Psych2go omg u too😯

[@dariaw6355]

Have same

[@poofypoodle]

I’ve never noticed that one my friends actually act like a victim. All of points you said are very accurate and explains a lot that my friend is playing a victim. I’m so glad I’ve watched this video

[@aphrodite5833]

I’ve recently had alot of fall outs and arguments with the most important people to me. I’ve been told that I have a victim complex and after completely losing my friends I’m realising how true it is. I didn’t intend to hurt people and I wish I had just taken responsibility but I feel like I kept handling situations immaturely to a point where even if I do get the help I need and work on letting go of this mentality, it will be too late to do anything and I understand that my friends might not want to speak to me again but I wish I could prove that I’m better and keep them in my life, these people are so important to me and I’m disappointed in myself that I let them go so easily because of my actions.

[@cypherbarlow350]

Woah! This was easier then I thought to time travel!

[@Pickleoink]

WHERE DO U PPL COME FROM

[@mkay4]

Neat how'd ya do it?

[@reythepuppet3673]

Wtf

[@rossisgross]

kill the witch

[@nabii8277]

Bruh am I seeing this right? What the-

[@froggies6953]

I had a friend like that before, but she changed and I’m glad we’re on good terms again😁

[@thedivyanshii]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/naCZn52Gh9-VfdE

[@zebnemma]

Wow I'm honestly so baffled that your friend changed for the better. I thought people that are like this had 0 chance of ever changing. Even if I showed this video to my ex friend he would still not own up to anything, he always has an excuse for anything, even when he is faced with logic and proof. When I confronted him and told him in detail point for point why I could not be his friend anymore he disregarded all of it and said I was being a bad friend for trying to make him look bad... Like he didn't even fucking listen. He has never once listened to any criticizm and that's why I had to give up. Talking to my friend was like talking to a wall except he is a wall that demanded reassurance constantly.

[@zebnemma]

@@GO2H3AVEN but how do you do that tho? Give them a gentle nudge in the right direction I mean? What to say to them? I'm autistic so I'm pretty bad about being subtle. I'm the type of person that will either keep my mouth shut or I will lay the unfiltered harsh truth on you. No in between pretty much.

[@DisneyFanatic2364]

Sounds like these kids I used to babysit. They'd break into hour-long tantrums over the smallest things, from refusing to wash their hands, to refusing to do their homework, to me not letting them have dessert until they finished lunch. Of course, I think they were traumatized from everything changing from the pandemic, so I can't blame it entirely on them.

[@waddaeck2129]

theyre also kids

[@seekerofsouls74]

@@waddaeck2129 I know right, someone needs to note the difference... 😑

[@weeshirley5934]

No, they’re just kids lol 🤣

[@tiawolf3610]

Woah - I used to watch your videos when I was younger lmao - I loved bride and daughter of discord and would always look forward to new episodes with my little sister - they got me into story writing and art which were both extremely therapeutic as I got older - thank you - also my nephew sounds a lot like the kids you baby sat 😂

[@nacholuva_]

consistency cures kids u are the adult they are merely kids lol

[@imsorry3217]

This tires me out when the person constantly acts like they are the victim. It bothers me especially when they're the ones who has been gaslighting me and keeping me confused! Yet they blamed me for everything. 😔

[@andinarizkia]

I have victim mentality. It was so hard for me to realize it until my ex (now best friend) said to me "stop pitying yourself, you're the one who puts yourself through this. But you are also the one who are able to change it. You have potential, I can see you grow." It was harsh and sweet at the same time. Now I am working on it. I still have a long way to go because I also have depression (been diagnosed, I didn't even know mine is that bad). But that's not an excuse for me to not try to change. I have good people around me who are willing to support me. I want to change.

[@alvaroma.jenilyn9352]

My mother has this all, and I want to bring her to professional but I don't have the money yet so in future ill bring her

[@thedivyanshii]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/naCZn52Gh9-VfdE

[@poohbear0320]

My therapist kept telling me that I do this. It made me mad when she kept saying it because I didn't understand what she meant and didn't think she was right. After watching this it described me until this week.

[@aninternetidiot605]

I was definitely the draining friend things change when I listened to my friends. And realised how I started to enjoy suffering. Still getting out of the whole but now it’s from a place of action now. I’m a lot prouder of myself as a result.

[@sgtruru]

one of my friends was just like this, they used to always vent and then never take our advice, just to go back to venting the next day abt the same thing (and then get angry we didn’t help the next time.). guilt-trip some of us for not checking up on them (despite knowing we also were in horrible places. them doing this ended up making me neglect myself and feel even more guilty for being such a bad friend.), every time someone called them out they talked about how depressed they were and how horrible their past was and how it influenced them to act like that. every time any of us tried to talk about our issues they would make it about themselves, or bring up how much worse their issues were. they’re getting better, luckily, and i’m really happy about that. but being around them was so draining for me, so i wanted to bring it up.

[@apriliamoon]

Unfortunately, it is hard for people who suffer this, and for those who try to stay with them, especially if they also have their own issues. You tried your best. I hope one day all of you will be better and forgive each other for anything bad that you all did from your pain.

[@TinYasuo]

I feel so sorry for people who struggle like this.. truly, while it is draining on other people, I can't even start to imagine what it must feel like to go through... I think a lot of people face these kinds of hardships - it would be super nice with a follow up video about what sort of help they can get for these issues.

[@crowbirb90]

I'm glad you made this video. I have a friend who does this and blames me for his mistakes. He also had threatened me and my siblings and after the situation he holds so many grudges. And creates drama that's not need. So I'm glad you made this video and it makes me realize he's playing the victim. I've been trying to keep my mental health in order but I'm very tired and ready to give up.

[@kadino9285]

I've been told I always play the victim. But I just can't stand how much I've messed up friendships and even my reputation. I just always think admitting my mistakes could solve any problem. I usually get upset while doing and in some cases I lash out or have a breakdown. I just wish I can solve any problem and wish I can have my good reputation back one day.

[@Cassies_Critter_Circus]

This video almost perfectly describes my mother. And that's exactly why I live with my dad. I hate to say it but I'm turning in to her I really related to this video and that's not a good sign.

[@thedivyanshii]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/naCZn52Gh9-VfdE .....

[@Cassies_Critter_Circus]

@@thedivyanshii you are a very good artist! 🌹🌷

[@nightappleispoisonapple1775]

"Oh you're not letting me do what I like I always have to be caged up like this" "Oh no you can go out and enjoy" "No but I'm sure you arent gonna be able to do anything so I wont go" And then they blame that I was the one who told them not to go smh -.-

[@ben_clifford]

I have family members who do some of these things. It's so draining to watch them making poor choices, knowing what the outcome will most likely be - especially when you try to warn them nicely and they just won't ever take your advice ... and then after they ignore your advice the thing you were worried would happen, happens... and they STILL won't take any responsibility for the problem. Instead they keep repeating the same mistakes against your advice.

[@neh8685]

I feel so bad right now. I may be have a victim mindset and I didn’t even noticed. Thank you so much for this video

[@Amberk1985]

This was me for a long time. I was completely in denial about being a victim. I now know this is an issue. Things are so much better. It can be unlearned.

[@inhale.exhale.2527]

Shallow assessments such as this are dangerous. It fails to acknowledge the learned helplessness of codependency, the complexity of these issues and how legitimate the struggle to move on actually is for victims of the abuse that formented this.

[@ananyaojha7310]

This isn't about diagnosing someone or blaming them but rather understanding your own reactions towards that person and staying away from excessive guilt yourself.

[@inhale.exhale.2527]

@@ananyaojha7310 I referred to it as a shallow assessment and not a diagnosis. Being such it is dangerous for not taking into account the deeper understanding a diagnosis would require thereby prejudicing both parties - the individual displaying the behaviours and the person's perception of them. Make sense now?

[@mandypandy111ify]

I would agree. Also, many of these things could come from something other than blaming the victim.

[@willguggn2]

I don't understand why I keep coming back to this channel. It's way oversimplified crap. Every time.

[@willguggn2]

@ballkuma I am It's dangerously misleading. If you look at the comments people do for the most part take things said on this channel seriously. Look at the title. Look at their own, pinned comment.

[@marohutokimune1582]

Thank you Psych2go for this channel. It creates a self awareness within myself on things to actively fix and think about, and also to not tolerate things in others that make me uncomfortable. Its really tough sometimes to create proper boundaries for myself and other people because its not always understood and can create chaos just standing my ground, but I've come to realise that it helps me notice who should and shouldnt be in my life, and if a situation is making me toxic as well. Thank you so much for your insight.

[@Auburn_The_Gaymer]

Thank you for this video. An old flame came back into my life the start of this year. Everything he said was one sided, and he constantly complained about other people. He never took responsibility for his actions. I kept second guessing myself and kept thinking I should unblock him. But this solidifies that the choice I made to block him was right. I can't have someone like that in my life.

[@jj6674]

Karen’s : *WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN-*

[@Arqkn]

LMAO 😭🤣

[@SuperstarYT]

Lol

[@AEEEUUUGGGHHH]

LOL 😂🤣🤣

[@serenefairytail2122]

My best friend is named Karen. She is the kindest person I have ever met. Enough of this degrading someone by their name.😡😡😡

[@Arqkn]

@@serenefairytail2122 ;-;

[@milkshake549]

Yup. This was totally my ex friend. Took a huge toll on my mental health while I was around her, but now I'm doing better than I was before. I'm not as angry anymore, and I don't blame others as much. I'm so much happier too!

[@thedivyanshii]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/naCZn52Gh9-VfdE

[@zebnemma]

I feel less stressed since I broke contact with my brother. But I have also realised I have a sickly need to comfort other people, and that's how my codependency with my brother formed in the first place. I'm sick in the head. This issue goes deeper for me and I need to figure out how to just be friends with someone without it turning into me babying them or me being their "protector". I shouldn't act like I'm some guardian angel I'm just a human. I feel more like a devil, I make unspoken pacts with people. "You will be my sick patient and I will take care of you, deal?" It really feels like that and that's why I now think I'm sick in the head. I need to stop.

[@stellaltumi]

thank u for clarifying that some people's situations are valid, I have a disability & chronic illness that gives me hardships every day, I do my best to not play the victim but there are definitely times I still need to vent to my friends

[@justjordan7531]

I was playing victim with my friend and I didn’t even notice. I felt so bad when I actually found out the other side of the story and I apologized. I still feel horrible.

[@rossbossdraws6350]

i have to apologize to my partner thanks guys for helping me realize this.

[@thedivyanshii]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/naCZn52Gh9-VfdE

[@internetacorn7584]

thats great!

[@Gaitplayz]

“Playing the victim” Me who plays blackjack: “oh yeah, its big brain time.”

[@dreenlucky6126]

I love your channel and all the education you share - thank you! This particular video spoke to me as I'm currently dealing with a person with this mentality and it sucks!! Now I just need 10 super solid mental hacks to reenergize myself and avoid the negativity that surrounds the "victim" I know - let me know if you make that video, let me know

[@yootopia9196]

For a long time, I've been trying to help mom get through her problems with dad and my sister. I always tried to listen to her, and suggest ideas on how to either fix these problems or things that could help her become mentally stronger and more resilient. And yet no matter what I did, my mother never listened to my advice nor did she try to make a change in her life. After a year of trying to be a help, mom just drained all of my energy and empathy. I became a sponge to her feelings and whenever she felt down, I felt down (aka everyday) and I absorbed her problems as if they were my own. That completely burned me out. That's when I decided to stop trying since I realised my mom had victim mentality. Things happen to her, but she never fights back. She could technically draw boundaries when someone hurts her emotionally but she never does it. Not because she has a weak personality(in fact she's actually quiet feisty) but because for whatever reason she loves being wronged, being the victim, complaining about her problems and receiving pity. I couldn't help her anymore when she was absolutely refusing to help herself in the first place.

[@Mouse_Metal]

My brother is like this. It became even worse since he started to date a woman who has borderline personality disorder. They sabotage each other and encourage their victim mentality. I would not be surprised if they ended up homeless at some point. I also don´t have a time and "retarded" level of empathy to try to help someone who refuses to be helped. Why does he ask for advice when he never, ever takes anything from it???

[@mubeenbaig610]

Hey Psych2go, I should be thanking you (on behalf of all of us) for helping us in our mental health issues or with spreading awareness about an issue. I really like (sorry, love) the energy you devote for us and portray these matters in a really concise and easy manner. I too felt like I was always playing victim, BUT: 1. I am not a narcisisst(don't have that kind of personality) and hate those type of people, honestly. 2. I don't drain anyone's energy as I always try to mean my business along with helping the needy. I don't always show my situation as worse than anyone because I always try to learn perspectives (because of you and your efforts). That's it. I really can't thank you ENOUGH. I always try to share these with reliable people who don't underestimate the importance of mental health (Those who do...... You may know 😎😎). Be seeing you. Your subscriber, Nico.

[@debbiemoore2747]

I am guilty of some of these when my brain is fully dysregulated but I work on that when it happens as I am aware of my cptsd and am much better at not lashing out and the victim mentality. It is a process of healing. Gotta love cptsd.

[@apriliamoon]

I'm glad you know what caused it, and you are working on it. It helped me a lot when I learned about CPTSD. Try to find things about emotional flashbacks and trauma responses, it was eye-opening to me and helped me to stay regulated more.

[@debbiemoore2747]

@@apriliamoon your amazing never forget that. We are beautiful and unique ❤

[@hekategoddess]

My mother is just like this. Little did I know, I became like this too. It wasn’t until everyone left that I realized I became my mother, so that’s when I really did listen to the advice instead of give excuses like my mom would. I put in the work. I made the efforts. I found the right medications. I stopped self harming. I’m cleaning my borderline hoarder like house (it’s going alright so far but Im doing it alone so it may take awhile but I’m really proud of my progress). I managed to find work (need to find work again though lol but I’m on it everyday). I’m in therapy and taking it seriously this time. I don’t make excuses anymore. If it is a bigger problem where I feel I can’t do it on my own, I ask for help, I don’t just make excuses for it. Otherwise I do what I can to improve the situation that needs improvement. I will not live like my mother. It’s just miserable. Ngl though those meds and being abandoned by everyone was what saved me. I don’t have just depression like everyone else, it’s actually far far far more serious than that, but that doesn’t mean I can’t work through it. It doesn’t mean I can’t try. Because I’m always trying. And I will do better, I will BE better. I’m still trying to figure this problem of mine out, I’m not perfect yet, idk if I ever will be, but I’m way better than I was day 1. Anyone can change, if they want to change. You can’t force it. You can only gently push.

[@thehainote1082]

Wow... I checked all of the boxes. Victim mentality and defensiveness are the two biggest obstacles for me to evolve as a person

[@tokyosnowfall]

to say someone who feels useless and who constantly dwells on events that made them hurt is "playing" the victim is a little insensitive and disingenuous to their struggles. you can't say someone is playing the victim for seeing life how it is. it's an unkind, dark, malevolent place. recognizing that isn't "playing the victim" it's being a realist. news flash im addressing *some* of the things mentioned in this video that i don't agree with.

[@glachloser]

It's probably unconscious so playing isn't the best way to describe it agreed. More like stuck in victimhood is better maybe

[@nocturalExplorer]

But there's a difference between knowing the world is an awful place vs. constantly going "the world is always awful to me, I don't deserve to suffer all the time, but it forces me to always be the victim, in every situation, which sucks, but that's my lot in life. Always having to suffer and always being miserable, because everything always goes wrong for me" y'know? And if someone's not actually the victim of a situation, but _pretends_ to be it (no matter if knowingly/unknowingly and no matter if as a messed-up coping mechanism or for personal gain) they'll hurt the _actual_ victim. That's not insensitive to address, that's just reality. Also, these are just signs. And you listed two out of ten, so of course those by themselves mean nothing. It's a matter of how many fit someone. I knew someone who (was very toxic and) fit all 10 and some (nice, positive) people who fit some too, but less. So from personal experience, I can tell you it's just that these are the things these people tend to express outwards _all the time_ - not some secret red flags that automatically turn someone into a self-victimizer if they do _any_ of these things internally and/or sometimes externalize them. You know what they say: One is an accident, two is coincidence, three is a pattern. Just that psychology tends to go with 4-7 instead, if not even more, because totally average people have issues too. So point is, these signs will fit average people too sometimes, but they'll _always_ fit self-victimizing people - and identifying those was the point of the video. Remember, they're just people too, so they'll display people-traits - just in more extreme ways than other people would. Nothing (weird or) insensitive about addressing that.

[@tokyosnowfall]

@@glachloser yeah the title just doesn't match the content as much as the creator thought.

[@tokyosnowfall]

@@nocturalExplorer im simply addressing what i felt was wrong with the video. i completely get yout point, but my view on this still stands. it's how i interpreted the video.

[@nocturalExplorer]

@@tokyosnowfall And different interpretations can be completely valid, so if that's how you feel, then that's how you feel. Can't say I agree with you, though I also get where _you're_ coming from - but hey, the same applies for you too, so guess we're even. In which case, I'm just gonna say thanks for reading my comment in the first place and I hope I didn't make your day/night/time worse with that and I hope the rest of today will be awesome for you!

[@Dreaming_Stray]

If you have a friend that plays victim all the time, don’t give them the time of day. If they manipulate you into staying with them, bail on them. They’re not worth sticking by. As someone who was friends with someone who was constantly being a victim, he was just a snake who was perfectly fine with manipulating me into staying because having a friend he didn’t like was better than having no one at all.

[@AppleBottomJ]

I feel like I’m in the same boat.

[@RainingAbove]

I'm in love with these art styles *and the nice calm voice of hers*

[@whynotfrancis]

clicked on this thinking of my friend, and it fits her perfectly. she always has to have someone to emotionally attach to like a leech and suck all the support she can out of them until they cant take it anymore and become distant. right now, shes doing it to me. and its so much worse because whenever i try to express that i cant deal with it, she just apologizes over and over again and talks about how terrible of a person she is, then does nothing to change it. i don’t want to abandon her because she doesnt have many real friends AT ALL and i know it would destroy her, but idk what to do when ive communicated my boundaries time after time and she keeps trying to talk to me five times a day. any time im going through something it turns into me comforting HER. ive been really brutally honest with her recently, in part because im autistic and i cant keep up this mask anymore. i feel like an awful person for it but i dont know what else to do. also she’s in love with me so thats fun

[@thatoneboiwhogotcursed7735]

I had a friend who always blamed herself in all situations after days becoming friends with her i regret that I've became friends with her I'm glad that I moved a new place and never saw her face

[@bvnny1379]

I feel like I relate to this. I'm gonna try my best to change that while I'm still young and learning.

[@Psych2go]

Keep up the good work!

[@VickyKumar-qu9zo]

May Jesus help you

[@Daybreakhasme]

I've definitely embodied more than a few of these in my last marriage. I see that now. Thank you.

[@nyxie9415]

Oh boy....this entire list sounds just like a friend I used to have. I recently cut ties with her because everything was always my fault or someone else’s fault and literally nobody ever cared about her or what she wanted (even though I always tried my best to comfort and encourage her, even ignoring my other friends when they needed help sometimes). She was forever miserable, everything in her life always sucked and she was always being bullied, cheated on, ignored, losing friends or something. (Even though I never actually saw evidence of this) And if I didn’t talk to her or try to help her, she’d threaten suicide and self harm. But she never actually wanted my help either and had every reason in the book why any idea I offered wouldn’t work for her, even contradicting herself at times. Needless to say, I’m glad to be out of the friendship. It was exhausting!

[@kattychuks]

How is she now? Still same person or she changed

[@xxshaecxx8048]

It’s super hard to grow and be such a positive person! I feel like some of these are what I do and I hate being a negative person but it’s so hard to be positive and I hope to get better!

[@thedivyanshii]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/naCZn52Gh9-VfdE

[@xxshaecxx8048]

@@thedivyanshii what’s this?

[@Tallulah_TT]

This actually helped me realize about my friends. Now i know that they always play the victim. Thanks for the video! 💖💖

[@lauraa009]

i love the new template with the colourful backgrounds!

[@moni4peace]

I do relate to some and I clicked on this video for a reason. I definitely want to work on not falling into this trap. I do admit that as an abuse survivor I don't like the term "don't be a victim" because sometimes you are and then there is shame attached to seek help.

[@nasehacho4382]

Oh no... this sounds like me, I most definitely am guilty of complaining about my life but not doing things that would actually help it...is it possible to be playing victim but not actually meaning to do so? I don’t mean to be manipulative but looking back at my conversations with people I see that I’m always in this bad mood that forces those who I’m talking to, to comfort me and if they don’t, I immediately shut down.

[@apriliamoon]

This doesn't mean you are playing the victim. If you shut down, then there is some underlying reason why you feel this way, the same goes for your bad mood. It is not just by itself, it is caused by something that happened to you. Sometimes people are so badly hurt in the past by those who should be there to take care of them (parents), but they are not aware of it. They feel blocked in their life, they feel stuck, hard to move, distraught all the time. These are all symptoms of CPTSD and freeze or detachment response. It is hard to do things from that state and it takes a lot of energy and courage, and often, support from someone to get out of that state. So your natural tendency to seek comfort from others is normal. It is good if you can get this comfort enough to strengthen you and make you take steps towards healing. Doing big changes in your life takes first to do small steps that happen on the inside, they build momentum. Getting compassion and support from others is something you need, so you can build compassion for yourself. Without that, you can't face your inner pain.

[@nasehacho4382]

@@apriliamoon I’m so late I’m responding but thank you so much for such a thoughtful and articulate response. It definitely gave a new perspective on things and honestly gave such a push for myself to move forward. ❤️

[@jolandak8556]

"Looking back at my conversations with people I see that I’m always in this bad mood that forces those who I’m talking to, to comfort me" In my opinion, you are not FORCING others to comfort you by being in a bad mood and letting it show. You have the right to be in a bad mood (or in any mood), and they have the right to not comfort you if they feel incapable or reluctant to do it, for any reason own their own. They have no obligation to comfort you, as you have no obligation to not let your true feelings show when you are with them. They are responsible of their own feeling states. I think that only if you reacted very negatively to them not comforting you at a particular moment when you need it (raging, sulking, silent treatment etc.) you might be considered manipulating or otherwise acting in a non-constructive way.

[@jolandak8556]

@@apriliamoon I agree!

[@aquariusrising3683]

Damn, you just described my mother. I am really conflicted. Cutting her loose would be great, but the guilt would be horrible.

[@narzolesumeras.4288]

7/10. I only notice my attitude when I've already done it. And the thing that I am really guilty about is when someone giving me an advice. I only listen to it but I am not gonna do it because I can't accept it. Second is I'm stuck to my past event. I only thinking of my bad experience in the past and it prevents me to move forward because of fear and the future result. You can say that I'm overthinking. But I'm not a kind of person that will use others for my gain by this kind of attitude. I will still keep my problems to myself and fix it by myself.

[@specialppl4god2022]

I love this... thanks for sharing this with us..

[@dexterdexter7923]

I love the animations I love the content I love your voice and I thank You for doing and sharing all this

[@cuzimdying]

I love your videos ❤️❤️❤️ Please never stop this channel it's interesting, informational and also helps me understand people around me better. Keep going 'psych2go' love your videos ❤️❤️❤️

[@chillencounter422]

so many adults does this they have a mind of a child who likes playing victim whenever something isn't in their favours

[@skeletor_118]

I know a friend who is guilty of like half the things on this list... Our friend group and I have stopped allowing her to get away with playing the victim all the time, though, and call her out on it when she is. I don't know if it's the best way to fight the behavior, but it's the best thing I know

[@pri_shay_dior]

I started to think for a moment during my last therapy session that I was constantly playing victim. But then I asked my therapist what was I supposed to do when the feeling of being the victim was validated. The apologies from a few that bullied me when I was younger (my family sweetie there was no way I was being bullied because it wasn't physical). The acknowledgement of being treated different than your siblings. The only thing I find myself able to accept fault in is my poor choice of men. But even then I feel preyed upon because my first definitely groomed me. And I've been called selfish, but those same people can't gather the words as to why they think I am. Friendships end with no explanation. Nothing makes sense to my already broken state of mind. It's all confusing and just makes me want to keep to myself instead of being toxic to others.

[@rh5524]

This video is n o shape or form correct and should not even be on KZbin don't take any notice of death so cold know-it-all they should be banned because there are literally justifying people's selfishness disgustingly shameful

[@flowerbloom5782]

Honestly just work with your therapist. These videos are too short to cover topics and the victim mentality is more complicated than just "excuse to be selfish".

[@Blounem]

Oh gosh. My ex best friend did all of these things and it is one of the reasons why it took me so long before ending the toxic friendship, I thought I had a "duty" to make her feel okay but it never worked and I didn't want to abandon because it would have made her feel even more abandoned and would mean she's right when she says she can't trust anyone. I'm so glad it ended, though.

[@bonson9156]

For me, it's a way to express myself when I couldn't in the past and to get back at the people who hurt me and never let them forget what they did. But the message usually never gets to the people who hurt me.

[@nancyparlette981]

This was really helpful! Thanks

[@sfs5209]

My ex was exactly like this: stuck since his last relationship and always saying his life sucked and that was unhappy. No matter how hard I try to please him, it was never enough and if I made him notice that his behaviour was not respectful towards me guess what? I was playing the victim according to him. Fun fact: he was playing the victim, but the true victim was me. People, living a hard past is not our fault, but being toxic because of it is our responsibility and we must seek professional support and try to not make others feeling unhappy because we are.

[@Che_Yo]

Bruh, one of my this is one of my so called "freinds" in a nutshell

[@thedivyanshii]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/naCZn52Gh9-VfdE

[@Che_Yo]

@@thedivyanshii bruh, self promoting ain't cool

[@Psych2go]

I see! Thanks for letting us know :) How many of these signs described your "friend"?

[@Che_Yo]

@@Psych2go uhhh, Alot

[@azizabaptiste5358]

They could be your friends and have a victim complex? It don’t make them horrible people, they probably just don’t realize, they are human

[@meadows_daydream7200]

No one going to talk about how adorable their art style is?- Just me? Ok- Keep up the great work your editing style is amazing!!♡

[@isabellas4120]

Wasn't expecting to actually relate, but some of these definitely apply to me sometimes. Ouch it hurts but glad you taught me this. I had an intuition that I could be a bit like that. It's like my default when I'm sad. That's so cringe, looking from a different perspective. Thanks.

[@leilianaorozpe7721]

I relate. I couldn’t tell if I was playing the victim, but this makes me think that I was. Yet, it was not an easy situation. I have a very strict family who is not there emotionally. I could not leave because as much as I worked, I could not afford to leave. He told me to leave and stay with him, but a part of me did not know because my family was something I didn’t want to lose either. He started giving up on me and said I was just playing the victim and I was using him. I don’t know till this day if I was or was not.

[@StrawberryLatteMeow]

For anyone with a friend, acquaintance, or family that plays victim and feels really drained because you have to clean up after every single drama that person puts you in, but cannot leave them because you worry they might get into even bigger problem without you, the solution is actually very simple Leave them. Seriously, those people are actually quite capable of looking after themselves and not getting into trouble. But they do that because your are around to look after them and suffer instead, while showering them with attention and adoration. They love the attention. They purposefully get into trouble and make-up non-existent or tiny problems that are blown out of proportion just so they can play the victim and chain you to them. Is there someone that always gets hurt, or always very direly sick, with some kind of terminal condition, while in fact it's not true but they are just exaggerating, and never be satisfied with anything? Do you sometimes wonder if that person wants everything done for them for free, and the entire world must revolve around them? Yeah, seriously, leave them. Or don't give them any attention. So if you are reading this and believe you are the person playing victim, good, you are still pretty good. Try taking things in more positive light - the world is unfair to everyone not just you. Try putting yourself in other people's shoes, and try to help yourself instead of relying on others to run around for you. Unless you pay them the rightful wage with good employment contract, of course. Or else, you will have no one around you at the end.

[@giriiisha]

i needed this thank you, i cut off a friend of mine for these reasons and felt guilty bc it hurt them, but if i hadnt done that it wouldve hurt me more in the long run.

[@selenite3890]

"Try putting yourself in other people's shoes, and try to help yourself instead of relying on others to run around for you. Unless you pay them the rightful wage with good employment contract, of course. Or else, you will have no one around you at the end." but when i tried this it ended in disaster because i did not understand how anyone would be upset by these things. i still dont understand why you'd be upset by these, i definitely wouldn't be upset, i'd just be there to listen to them, and i have been there to listen to people like this plenty of times and i dont feel bad about it, they're just venting. i can empathize with anyone about literally everything else, but i just dont understand this like why wouldn't you want to help your friends?? why would you feel bad that you're helping your friends?? it makes me happy to do something good for someone i care about even if its small since most of the time i only do bad things and annoy my friends and i just want to make people happy i dont like it. idk maybe im just such a bad person that i just cant see how being a bad person hurts people and im just immune to it because its what i do all the time

[@CryptoMiningTechnologies]

The best treatment for these types of people is no contact. Do not block them; just ignore them. I guarantee they will try to flip it on you and say something along the lines of “You aren’t answering or replying so I will assume that you”…

[@moony2699]

*Slowly deletes paragraph about my friend and how she always plays victim...*