10 Weird Habits Of A Covert Narcissist

Covert narcissists conceal their true feelings, thoughts, and intentions to get what they want. They are master manipulators who often experience low self-esteem but cover it with an arrogant exterior.
Suppose you're dealing with a covert narcissist at work or in your personal life. In that case, it's important to know how to spot their weird habits to avoid falling victim to their manipulation tactics.
So how do you recognize a covert narcissist?
Do you have something to say? Comment it down below.
🙏If this video helps you, drop a SUPER THANKS and have a featured comment below. I truly appreciate it.
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Video Time Line
Introduction 00:00
10 Weird Habits Of A Covert Narcissist 00:33
Number 1 Covert Narcissists Get Bored Easily. 00:39
Number 2 Covert Narcissists Tend To Copy Other People's Behavior. 01:39
Number 3 Covert Narcissists Love To Find Things Wrong In Whatever You're Doing. 02:37
Number 4 Covert Narcissists Offer Fake Apologies. 03:36
Number 5 Covert Narcissists Lie Without Any Reason. 04:33
Number 6 Covert Narcissists Gaslight You In Subtle Ways. 05:32
Number 7 Covert Narcissists Are Obsessed With Their Reputation. 06:36
Number 8 Covert Narcissists Are Not Genuinely Interested In Anyone. 07:29
Number 9 Covert Narcissists Are Super Competitive. 08:24
Number 10 Covert Narcissists Can't Take Jokes And Criticisms. 09:06
Music
Title: Future Glider
Artist: Brian Bolger
#spotthenarcissist #narcissism #narcissist
DISCLAIMER:
The information in this video is research-based and for educational purposes. Please consult an authorized professional for guidance and help on your specific case.

[@spotthenarcissist]

Covert narcissists conceal their true feelings, thoughts, and intentions to get what they want. They are master manipulators who often experience low self-esteem but cover it with an arrogant exterior. Suppose you're dealing with a covert narcissist at work or in your personal life. In that case, it's important to know how to spot their weird habits to avoid falling victim to their manipulation tactics. So how do you recognize a covert narcissist? Do you have something to say? Comment it down below. 🙏If this video helps you, drop a SUPER THANKS and have a featured comment below. I truly appreciate it. 🙏🙏🙏Please support my work and buy me a coffee through this link: bit.ly/3aRsYjI Like this video and subscribe to this channel. It helps us a lot. Click Here to Subscribe: kzbin.info/door/Nf93_WzIGLOV1C4PDGjrQg Video Time Line Introduction 00:00 10 Weird Habits Of A Covert Narcissist 00:33 Number 1 Covert Narcissists Get Bored Easily. 00:39 Number 2 Covert Narcissists Tend To Copy Other People's Behavior. 01:39 Number 3 Covert Narcissists Love To Find Things Wrong In Whatever You're Doing. 02:37 Number 4 Covert Narcissists Offer Fake Apologies. 03:36 Number 5 Covert Narcissists Lie Without Any Reason. 04:33 Number 6 Covert Narcissists Gaslight You In Subtle Ways. 05:32 Number 7 Covert Narcissists Are Obsessed With Their Reputation. 06:36 Number 8 Covert Narcissists Are Not Genuinely Interested In Anyone. 07:29 Number 9 Covert Narcissists Are Super Competitive. 08:24 Number 10 Covert Narcissists Can't Take Jokes And Criticisms. 09:06 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Want to learn how to manage the most common health problems at home?🏠 Click Here ➞ bit.ly/3A3qngj Need a product to help soothe diabetes issues? Click Here ➞bit.ly/3DQXjcX ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- #spotthenarcissist #narcissism #narcissist

[@alcudiababe1]

Covert Narcissists are the worst because they get your trust first.

[@anony7170]

This is what I'm dealing with now. A toxic narcissist who shows every last behaviour/symptom on that list who thinks a grown ass 30 yr old woman can be played like a teenage girl. Lol!!!

[@shellbell8062]

They are also genius at perpetrating abuse and making themselves look like the victim. So if you question anything; or point out something that doesn't make sense they will say that you are attacking them and spread the word that you are abusing them. They can turn on the tears and the "vulnerable, abused" persona so well that everyone believes them and not you. Your greatest weapon is the willingness to walk away and don't look back.

[@elkebanhart7045]

Yes, their greatest weapon is the disguise 👽

[@lisamercando4312]

Dont walk, RUN! Run as fast and as far as possible. NEVER look back

[@adinevanhulst]

Yeah I agree! My most recent ex started calling me a narcissist and that I was manipulative. And I just could not believe he was twisting everything around on me. He knew that I already came out of a horribly abusive narcissistic relationship in my marriage and I told him do not take advantage of me, and do not waste my time and I’m afraid of letting my walls down. And come to find I believe he was another narcissist behind closed doors. No one in my church community could see that he was a hidden narcissist and he was hiding it so well as being the good guy and always offering help and extending himself in anyway to win favor and look good to everybody at the church. And he would have these weird reactions where also his true character would come out and then in front of the people he would play all nice nice and people would never see that that he has two sided personality.

[@floralyimo7907]

I did it! And i am so proud of myself and God for enhancing my Exit ! Its Two years now out from 17yrs of total abuse and toxicity in general

[@lisamercando4312]

@@floralyimo7907 good for you. I'm sure it wasnt easy. I divorced mine 12 years ago and I'm still struggling with all the nightmares.

[@donnahilton471]

Easily bored Mimics others Critical Never apologize Lie Gas lighting Obsessed with self image Don't care about anyone else Competitive Can't take criticism

[@Tempusverum]

Sounds like Society

[@christianbenn316]

& playing the victim which is a red flag.

[@Angelinenomantombijama]

Gossipping

[@Jesusandcoffee3382]

Most covert narcs actually present as very humble, even self -deprecating

[@alisonnonumber]

This is very true. I think that's why many fly under the radar. The devaluing programme they embark on is VERY different and indirect. They're good at blank stares when you try and express yourself.

[@lappesjl1]

I agree with that 110% My Ex did that all the time.

[@djmandyland]

So true which makes it a million times harder for anyone to believe you're being abused behind closed doors. They are master manipulators 😞

[@djmandyland]

​@@alisonnonumber YES! The blank stare and saying... What? Like you aren't deaf! Mine use to just stare at me and say What?....... Huh??..... over and over until I just started breaking down crying out of frustration and he'd say "Ew look at you, you can't control your emotions at all"

[@QuilaGee]

The serpent is very cunning.

[@melissacole1821]

I'm married to a covert narcissist and I never see anything about the freakin weirdo's hiding your stuff and then making it reappear. My husband does that to me but I figured out long ago that it's not just gaslighting but a baiting tactic to start an argument when he's bored. I saw his dad do the same thing to him before. Ugh, he's such a dumbass. I'm gonna go pray for forgiveness now. Love y'all

[@missscarling]

My ex did something similar to me and I didn't really think about it till now, very weird behaviour. To begin with it freaked me out thinking the house was haunted 😂

[@melissacole1821]

@@isabelladevotedtogod1968 I noticed that no one ever mentions it but the turm Gaslighting comes from a movie, where the husband hides his wives things a plays all kinds of tricks like that to make her believe she's crazy. I have short term memory loss due to brain trauma and my husband tries to play that against me. I saw for myself that his dad used the same tactics on him but tried to get him to believe his mother was haunting them.

[@missscarling]

@@melissacole1821 that's awful. On one hand I feel disgusted by narcissistic behaviour and what my ex did to me (I think he is narcissistic) but on another hand I feel sorry for what has happened to them that made them that way

[@melissacole1821]

@@isabelladevotedtogod1968 Yes!! My husband uses his sister and friends to triangulate me in the same way. I learned far more about narcissism from Bible study than from the KZbin videos. My husband's irises turn black and his facial features change, just when he's thinking of something evil to do to me. I found versus in the Bible that describe them to a T.

[@melissacole1821]

@@missscarling I was born into a narcissistic family (cult). All I can do is pray for my enemies and let God handle the rest. My brothers and I suffered the same abuse and only three of us saw the wrong in what our family did. We have freedom of will to choose to break the cycle of abuse , rather than choosing to become like our abuser's. My brother was gaslit so bad that it broke his mind and they shoved him into a state mental institution, ruining his entire life and he still chooses to be a kind, loving and forgiving person. Believe me, these people know exactly what they're doing and they deserve no pity for choosing to be evil. When someone has gone through the experience of being raped, beaten, starved, falsely accused, lied about, abandoned...that should make them NOT to want to put others through that kind of pain but Narcissists actually want to cause others the pain they went through and they find pleasure in doing it. They use their childhood abuse as an to play on our sympathies just so they can turn around and abuse us.

[@nancylicho3538]

Run from these people. I delt with one for a year. She was high up on the scale of narcissism. The gaslighting, projecting, dismissiveness, ignoring, blaming, Instigating, fighting, lying, and im sure cheating. Worst experience of my life. I bought into all the manulaplation tactics and always gave it another try. These people are dangerous. Don't play their game if you are serious about a relationship. They don't care about anyone including their own kids.

[@apple1234iou]

Baiting, provoking and triggering are high up there to.

[@apple1234iou]

Then blame you for telling them to F off!

[@Jesusandcoffee3382]

I was married to one for 14 years.

[@agnetaandren2599]

Yees they can be realy sadistic and hatefull. You cant live with them what so ever.....

[@SuperBlakes2]

@@apple1234iou ain't that the truth. They provoke and provoke you, until you snap, and then you're the bad guy. It's actually an evil spirit in them. They look like they have changed and then that ugly spirit takes over again 😐 scarey stuff, especially when it's your own family.

[@theyrekrnations8990]

They always come off as the most humble quiet mannered usually well dressed people. But underneath lurks a ruthless arrogant self centered entitled miserable soul, that doesnt know how to change or be genuine. Its like they have no heart and only think of themselves

[@tammyedwards4635]

My daughter in law. Useless and fake!

[@a.westenholz4032]

As I wrote elsewhere, I think with some covert narcs, they may actually genuinely want to believe that they are humble and well mannered, that that IS who they are, because of various social and family values. That they have buried their narcissism deep within themselves, so that it becomes covert, in order to fit with these values. They wouldn't honestly recognize themselves as narcs at all. Anytime they display any such traits, and you somehow actually catch them at it, they would have a rationalization like it being a one time exception- definitely not habitual- or not the way it seemed. Of course they use the exact same sort of argumentation in the reverse on you. That if you prove that they were wrong about something, especially about you, then it is only an exception to what is generally true- according to them. So even when they're wrong they are somehow not wrong.

[@MrsFefe32]

They get depressed if you have something they cant have

[@spotthenarcissist]

True

[@JehudaEwert]

A Narcissist loves the image he/she wants to present.And as this is artificial and not their own self, they are always depressed, always numbing their self inflicted damage by even more serving their own mask.It' a psychiatric condition.

[@willisjoe2010]

And that could be you… you can be the item

[@dark7angel456]

That applies to everyone though. Its a natural human trait.

[@Indy__isnt_it]

My narc tried to demean the fact I sat with both parents as they took their last breath? BUT, no one allowed him that right, Now I've had this gift afforded three times, Yet he only focused on my mother. The same one they kept him from as she died from her alcoholic complications. I did not keep him away. That is a gift only God can afford you. He has tried to take that from me. KEY WORD, "tried". It was at that point I was enlightened to his depth of narcissism. Who would try to take an intangible gift from another??? That gift was by the Grace of God, I was allowed to be with both parents as they returned to our Creator. Speaking of the One I believe in, during a discussion with raised volume, he informed me 36 years after the fact, he has NO BELIEF in the same God I swore my life to him with. He doesn't differ from others in this manner, but where the HUGE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM COMES IN, BRACE YOURSELF. (ONLY A NARC.....) I AM ABOVE GOD AND I HAVE MY OWN BELIEFS . I knew then I had no hope for any normalcy if I did not escape his grip for my safety, right then, nothing would scare me more than his mental health trail. His plan was to lock me away, visit one a year to say thanks for your retirement income, it's what I wanted ALL ALONG YOU FOOL, AND YOU FELL FOR MY DISGUSTING BEHAVIOUR, JOKES ON YOU BITCH I didn't mention, he owns a handgun. It's THAT BULLET I CANNOT STOP. WHY DOES SOCIETY WANT TO IGNORE WHAT MILLIONS ARE SO TRAUMATIZED BY. I am a walking, ticking time bomb, with an explosive mouth full of words. I have NO FILTER IF MY C-PTSD KICKS IN, ask the judge who left me as a sitting duck in the grips of this Looney tune sociopathic nightmare. A year ago, I would not even use the word narc to describe him, although I could count traits on more than one hand, I was not licensed to do so, and respected the severity of this diagnosis. FF to a full year plus later. I am 100% , convinced this man is HIGH on the NPD spectrum. Refuses to ever entertain the fact I might be on to something I've witnessed complete deterioration since 8.28.21, the day he mentioned he had a ¿?¿? Mental health trail¿?¿? On ME?¿? OH F NO YOU DO NOT. and with that, you are no longer ANYTHING to me except dead in my mind. I will never, or could ever trust you with anything, even a flea. You're ass should be registered just as a sex offender, because you've managed THAT TASK TOO. (3 STRIKES YOU'RE OUT JOE) Never, since my father has any man been worth the $£π he eliminates each day. Filthy "dirty dog water", from the good ol days of how to insult one with words!

[@tigerlily5347]

By the time your done arguing with a narcissist they will have you questioning your own damn name.

[@sunnyadams5842]

That copying thing you mentioned is often referred to as mirroring.

[@kirkhensley5870]

My brother is one of these shitbirds. When I was 5, he put pepper in my eyes. I tell him this when I'm 47 and his reaction was not an apology. He said it more like an excuse. "I was twelve!" Yeah. It's time for their reign to end. No more brotherhood, No more friends.

[@justint.kennerly5780]

I just realized dealing with my covert narcissist significant other that they are very good at hiding who they are to everyone else because she made the comment to me this morning that I'm the only one that thinks she is or does bad in the world.

[@frankharris3380]

As long as she is respecting your boundaries and you stay a high value man it will work out long term.

[@krivoli86]

When I had no idea what I am dealing with, I caught him lying. Jesus, what a weird reaction/ fight. I am still stunned how he twisted things and turned me into the bad guy because I found out. 😂 … today I can luckily laugh about it. These people are nuts!

[@SuperBlakes2]

Great information. But I disagree, that they can be handled effectively. The only way to handle them, is to get away from them as quickly as possible and try not to ever look back. Even that is extremely difficult. 😐

[@floralyimo7907]

Very true!

[@spotthenarcissist]

Good point

[@lappesjl1]

Check out Dr. Ramni's videos on KZbin. A clinical psychologist that specializes in narcissism. She says that most narcissists cannot be helped because they absolutely refuse to admit that they have a problem. It is everyone else in the world that has problems.

[@Smoketherapy]

Unless they follow you...

[@yvetteb1061]

I never noticed anything narcissistic about my ex until we had a child. He was all happy at the hospital (I know now that it was because the hospital staff and family members were watching) but as soon as we got home he wanted very little to do with the baby. It broke my heart. We have two children and it's like they were objects he pulled out when he wanted to show his friends and family how great of a dad he was.

[@carolnahigian9518]

They get bored easily: so their hobbies are" causing drama"- Making one person scream at another", or their fave, " make ugly chaos and it is never their Fault" ( meet my Cousin W).

[@Lumis00]

They're also extremely cowardly. It's why they try so hard to hide their true nature because they fear what will happen if anyone ever finds out about how they truly act and treat other people behind closed doors.

[@Carol-wj4gw]

My experience I’ve had, they are like 2 people, around their friends and others, very charming, outgoing, funny, but then with their family, their mate, children, parent, etc, can be very abusive, controlling, hateful. They have to have someone to abuse and lash out at.

[@lisamercando4312]

OMG, I thought that was just me, my imagination!! It IS A THING! I honestly thought I was losing my mind. Seriously started seeing a psychologist! 15+ years later, I'm still talking to one. He really Fu_ked my head up. My mom called/calls him "a mind bender". My head is such a mess cuz of him. 30+ years of pure hell.

[@Topkat311]

Yes, like a Dr. Jeckel & Mr Hyde

[@deannarounds3295]

I was married to mine for 22 years and one of his favorite things to say if I tried to talk to him about something he did or said was "You're right and I am wrong -just like always." I tried to point out that I wanted to talk about it and was not looking to place blame but he was not going to talk about anything. I left but it took me a very long time to feel comfortable talking about issues I might have.

[@LisaPFrampton]

I've been experiencing this with my husband for many years. Talking about important or serious topics is not worth his time and only pisses him off. He either goes to sleep, gets completely silent and on his phone or TV, or yells back and spews the worst offenses about myself that he's held me in contempt for for years, or turns everything around on me and basically makes it all about him and that I'm the one with any and every single thing I bring up to talk to him about that he doesn't like.

[@djmandyland]

THIS! I always got "huhh God I'm sorry! I get it YOU'RE perfect and I'm not right? You're sooooo perfect always huh?" It was maddening

[@Tina-si1gz]

Mine does all of the above. I tried to talk to him about finances and he flew into a rage calling me awful names. He never apologized of course but actually acted like nothing had happened. This was the worst it’s ever been and I’ve been checking for apartments but everything is so expensive right now. I’ve mentioned divorce and he lays the gaslighting on very thick and watches me to see if I do anything. It’s so weird. It’s like being around a spoiled child.

[@daniellemcaniff8819]

I had the same thing, we’re going through a divorce now. But he always told me “you’re always right” when I was trying to discuss some thing and get an understanding of why he did what he did… Like lying or hitting on another woman in front of me. I hadn’t even begun talking and he would start with “you’re always right”. And then told me I was a narcissist because a narcissists think they are always right, like in this video. I genuinely wondered if I am. Have gone to therapy for years, and am honest in it, my therapist has told me I’m not a narcissist but since they hide it so well, how do I know I’m not?

[@djmandyland]

@@daniellemcaniff8819 because you are actually worried about it which means you are self aware and self reflective and you are open to opinions of others so trust me you aren't. You have been gaslit and brainwashed for so long you've lost your sense of self like many of us have. Don't worry just take it a day at a time and you will remember your truth soon again 🙏

[@Lambert7785]

- all good stuff - as far as dealing with their tricks, it's like trying to catch a small slithery snake: very time consuming, and frustrating - after awhile you just give up... :)

[@goldkhw]

That was very accurate. Described my nephew to a T. After 53 years I finally found out because it was my turn I guess. And they stupidly underestimate intelligent people. Not everyone will let it go after a couple of months. And not everyone is not very bright. I took it to the bitter end and told the truth and everyone saw the machinations that he had gone through. And the lies that he had told. Oh my God. We can still go to court if I DECIDE TO DO THAT and then it will be in the newspapers and an even larger audience will know. He behaved like a child of twelve. His written language was the language of comic books or movie ads. Unbelievable. All those years pretending, until the mask slipped and he met his match. It took a year of calculated, timed efforts to bring it all to light and it culminated in the BIG REVEAL. Never underestimate an intelligent, fearless, elderly Aunt. "Here come the Judge."

[@aldelgado9343]

I had a girlfriend who was a covert narcisist, i still hate her till this day.

[@Wau12345]

Off course

[@patriciamcdermott1367]

This video hits them all on the nail. Excellent! I’ve experienced all of these. ❤

[@spotthenarcissist]

Thanks for sharing!

[@ernieblue5307]

Wow, totally nailed it... on every point!

[@aquacantstopwontstopspiritual]

Bullseye 🎯 you call them demons all the way out 🗣🗣🗣

[@col2959]

Very accurate account!

[@kathrynbarnes4256]

Excellent and true, living every sentence.

[@renelynn5205]

Yes, so true, Ive been off aand on with mine and this is so true, they also always have someone on the side they go out with and lie to you that your relationship is exclusive while they can make up rules and continue to go out behind your back and lie who they're with if you catch them and a lie they still try to gaslight you and make you believe you're crazy delusional screwed up and you need medical help well they continue to hide the truth about what they're doing behind your back and with who ....

[@jofinney9543]

I remember asking why do you lie ? He said .. because I can ! 🤣

[@coreyanderson7424]

I'm having trouble with someone like this at my job. It's extremely stressful.

[@Leo-ck3gw]

GET OUT!!!

[@blugrn1999]

Nailed it!!!

[@nayanrmesh2870]

Absolutely right

[@vicestrada3937]

I concur!! All you have said are sooo spot on right!!/ been there, done that, thank heavens i got away!!!🥶😱👍

[@minabutterfly9562]

Jesus you're spot on👍🏾 they mimick people when I seen that I was like Huhhh are they coping my behavior? OMGOODNESS NNow that is strange within itself & they pretend to act like they are interested in talking about & doing what you to do to study & to see what everyone else likes in you & they will do some of the things that you do......

[@lappesjl1]

I was married to a CN for 15 years.. (I know.. frog and the pot of water coming to a boil syndrome..huge fog) Mine definitely had 8 out 10. (She didn't have 7, reputation and 9, competitiveness). Her worst trait was 10... any criticism (no matter how slight) usually ended up in a nuclear meltdown. That girl could put on any mask she needed to, to make herself look like the person that she thinks you want her to be (hopefully that made sense). She was also a master-level manipulator and gaslighter. Divorced her 5 years ago and I am still recovering from the trauma-bonding and codependency.

[@JenHope113]

You are their entertainment target. Don't engage. They copy from you, from flimstars, no originality. Copy your decor, your hair colour, your spectacle colour, your shoes, the colour you love, etc. Weird people no originality. And they like to believe that they are the authority over you. Don't ever let them ride roughshod over you, tell them off. Even if you stay far away from them, they can be so thick skinned as to come you just to irritate you. Be sarcastic and monosyllabic to them when they do.

[@tarheels61]

What you said about apologizing is my experience 100%. I dated a guy who disrespected me, but yet gave the girl reason why I was important, but yet years later, he talked to a female friend about it and she actually add no regards for what everybody does a basic relationship like he was messaging other women and such things as that, but he did apologize that they took the apology back that all that time later, telling me that he had talk to her and what she had said, and what she had said was well, you’re not married, you’re not married you’re not engaged which means to me I could have had sex with another woman and use the same words or I could’ve done everything he did or had sex with a man and said hi we’re not married we’re not engaged so there’s so much fault in that one comment that he would never apologize for it again because he don’t realize just the fact that he took it back then, but he did take it back. So basically that what he’s agreeing with her own, he did no wrong and since he did nothing wrong, it means a Fatah slept with another man I lied I had to say was we’re not engaged and we’re not married and that would’ve saved that problem or if I need a man that and they don’t Tinder in Wellington at the yellow mushroom one night, even though I knew I didn’t want them if he found out about it I wanted to say I was high we’re not married we’re not engaged because he has no respect for even the basics of a relationship!!

[@stevenbard8026]

Huh?

[@SM-tl9ls]

@@stevenbard8026 ikr, hard to understand.

[@sandravegas5981]

SPOT ON!!! I CANT EVEN BELIEVE IT!!!

[@ronaldmorris2257]

PURE EVIL!

[@ronsmykowski7850]

Exactly

[@spotthenarcissist]

Indeed

[@Wau12345]

Yes

[@ritamccormick5244]

This is accurate, but the list can go on and on and on.

[@jennaluvhugs8252]

This is very helpful. Now need a video showing how to correctly deal with them .

[@amitsalaskar1024]

U leave and delete ur memory some how abt them is the only way to deal. U r not equipped to fight an evil from within ur human body limits.

[@mystrength5640]

The lying! 😮😢

[@anthonyhettinger9702]

The won't say sorry for things intended. Often tell you what their doing in a way to attempt to distractions you. The do things to put you into danger, gaslighting is damaging abuse and can cause intended confusion.

[@williamking7800]

The biggest problem with videos like these is: imagine that a true narcissist watched this video. They wouldn't think that the description fits them; they would think it fits the other people in their life. This is how a true narcissist would react, point by point. 1. Yes, I have a history of leaving partners after a short while. But the reason it wasn't fun anymore is that they were narcissists and it took me a while to figure that out. 2. Yes, our behaviors are unusually similar. But it's not because I'm copying you. It's because you're copying me. Also, I'm going to repeat some of the ideas I heard in this video and throw the phrase "covert narcissist" around a bit. 3. I can use the list of things in this video to find fault in whatever you are doing. Also, I feel superior to covert narcissists. 4. I don't give fake apologies. I give real good apologies. 5. I don't lie without any reason. I lie because the covert narcissist in my life would latch onto any information and use it to manipulate me. 6. You're not trying to get me to realize the truth that I'm a covert narcissist. You're gaslighting me, trying to weaken me by getting me to think I'm crazy for thinking what I think or feeling what I feel. 7. I don't care about my reputation the way that you do. 8. I'm not focused on myself. I'm focused on how you're a narcissist. 9. If you want to win this debate, that proves that you're the competitive narcissist. 10. If you can't take me being critical of everything you do, that's because your narcissism makes you overly sensitive to criticism. In all honesty, asking people to spot covert narcissism in others is counterproductive. I was a narcissist for years, and nothing I ever heard about narcissism ever made me look inside - but it did give me a lot of psychobabble ammo to throw at the people in my life. The only place any of you should be truly looking for the narcissist in your life is within yourself. And if you find one there, commit to making yourself better. But that type of introspection is difficult and takes time. The best advice I've seen in these comments is to don't walk, run away. It's the best thing if the other person is the narcissist, AND it's the best thing if you're the narcissist and don't realize it. The only thing I ask is that you have an open mind about who's the narcissist after the running is over. There are too many people in this comment section saying they've had a string of multiple narcissistic abusers, and if so you either have terrible luck or you're lying to yourself, and it's more likely the latter.

[@rooktheraptor24]

Very well said. I'm only commenting to encourage people to read through, at least, the last two paragraphs a few times until it hits home.

[@depressedphilosopherbitch7581]

Thanks for this comment. It makes me think about myself.

[@bobleglob162]

What made you turn toward.more introspection and to admit you were a narc?

[@williamking7800]

@@bobleglob162 failure and, interestingly enough, self-contempt. Let me explain the easy one first. If the narcissist believes that narcissism works, they're never going to stop. They'll just go from one duper's delight high to another. I think you can't "de-narc a narc" without them hitting rock bottom. I couldn't con my family or high school friends anymore, I refused to muster enough discipline to keep a normie job, and I ended up in a homeless shelter. But that's not enough. Most (but not all) of the homeless shelter types (in Detroit anyway) are failed narcissists themselves, so if the narcissist decides to be friendly they can get plenty of "friends" to help reinforce their delusions. It's kinda like a narcissist echo chamber. And at my first homeless shelter I did make some friends and we conned local restaurants out of lots of food by claiming problems with meals that were never ordered. But at the second shelter, instead of trying to befriend me, they kept trying to con me, with just the right mix of stupidity and stubbornness that I was astonished that they kept trying. I grew to despise them. Not a little but a lot. I even thought things like "if everyone in this shelter was to drop dead this instant, myself and volunteers included, the world would be a better place." But when I started to think about what it was I hated so much, I started to hate it in myself too. It became important to me to have moral superiority by making myself unlike them. It was only then that I started to think that maybe narcissism is maladaptive and that a more cooperative mode of being is a more practical life strategy. Looking back now I'm thankful for the ones that tried to con me, because they gave me what I needed. TL;DR: the best thing that you can do for a narcissist in your life is cut them off. Completely. Slam the door in their face. That doesn't guarantee that they'll change. Indeed, they probably won't. But if they can change, that's the first step in the process. The rest isn't up to you.

[@Angelinenomantombijama]

All the information given is true

[@rollin19]

Their lives lived ad self destruction and bullying,they will meet their demise.

[@christianbenn316]

& karma is real.

[@judyjuen7687]

Right on every one of them!

[@sushmasinha8054]

They abuse me then they create drama, while have no concern about me ?😢

[@lilithhecataniangoddessesm187]

I have a lot of hobbies, I love learning new things, yet I have one main interest I always return to. Other than that, I don’t compete with others(I hate competitions, unless it’s one of those organized ones such as sports, singing contest, dancing,etc, I watch those ones, but what I meant is, I hate it when people thinks that everything is a competition, I live here to live my best, to reach my highest self that I’ve always wanted, not because I’m competing with someone) and I personally don’t have the rest of what’s said within the video. And in terms of “BEST” I want to do all my best on every activities I do, due to the reason I know we all LIVE ONES, but I don’t force that mindset unto others, if others disagree, I just respect it and decide to stick with people who I already naturally blend with. Those who I don’t need to walk on eggshells for, cause I’ll never fake to be someone else just to be able to fit in, that looks like a desperate behavior from my perception. So does that makes me one tho?

[@stevenkovler5133]

They also tell you “ it is always about you, when you express your feelings!”

[@emmarae4322]

Yep.

[@audryangus4795]

Thanks

[@spotthenarcissist]

Welcome

[@fab3laundry]

My narc boss told everyone I quit but didn’t mention it to me. Took a month due to lack of shifts beforehand for me to ring up and find out I had quit. I didn’t even know so how could I have quit.

[@djmandyland]

Another thing is their stare. I'd catch mine either staring at me with the most loving look or one morning I'd wake up and roll over only to realize he was death staring watching me while I was asleep 😳 I literally jumped away from him before just because his stare looked like he wanted me dead.

[@Oceanwaves7]

Yeah it’s a spiritual aspect behind narcissism , they say windows are the eyes to there soul which is empty on there end

[@djmandyland]

@@Oceanwaves7 I genuinely think they have like a normal human side but are demonically oppressed and sometimes the demon takes over. I had the sickest most demonic night terrors everytime I slept in the same bed as my ex.

[@Oceanwaves7]

@@djmandyland yeah I would have weird dreams as well there energy is draining and truly demonic.

[@doloresdercole381]

@@djmandyland They are filled with demons which control their minds. I feel bad for the one I know that made me feel so loved during the love bombing. I fell for it. Thank God for the gut feeling that said " there's something wrong " . Educational videos by Dr. Ramani made it all clear. He is seriously mentally ill.

[@britishbobcat2098]

And when they rage their eyes go black.

[@richardmeyer1837]

Number 3 My Experiences!

[@Zhadyre]

Mine was so delusional (that bubble of fake reality they construct around themselves) she was claiming she was *not* competitive and she would gladly accept criticism for 'self improvement' although all actions, attitudes and communication suggested the opposite in REALITY (hence the covert). Their lack of self awareness is so incredible I imagine there isn't any established SELF to speak of. Plus the copying, imitating, lying for no reason than to feel that sick sense of 'empowerment', chipping constantly at my strength, worth, values and personal opinions, antagonising most of my beliefs/things I was saying to my face and then presenting these beliefs and ideas to other people as their own. Absolutely appalling behaviour, but their downfall is coming, if it's got anything to do with me. No forgiving and forgetting this particular one, first there will be payback and consequences, until I feel balance is restored 😏😌

[@HEATHERMAEE55]

I agree I went thru the exact same thing. Except mine would isolate and slander Me. The amount of energy they possess is astronomical. He managed to infiltrate my family and friends group turn them all against me and then sleep with them. He use to mentally torture me in ways like texting me from my mom or best friends phone pretending he was them but the sad part is they actually went along with it. And the copying and stealing ideas lol yea they are the best at it, mine strategically put a whole group together to manipulate my emotions leaving Me vulnerable. They managed to hack my phone stealing my intellectual property and presenting as their own, but they didn't stop there lol they then took it upon themselves to take my text messages and make them into Facebook posts. But thats only a fraction of the evil I could go on for days. But my absolute favorite tactic is how they pretend like they are loving and that they care and then behind the scenes be the exact opposite and then when I stand up for myself I'm the crazy or delusional narcissist, I mean where they do that at? Now I'm a sucker for healthy competition it's pushes and motivates you to keep striving for better but my narcissist took that to a whole different level, sabotage, steal, instigate, lie, set up and will stop at absolute nothing to win. Lying is their 2nd langue and they are very skilled. There is no line they won't cross. It is appalling

[@Zhadyre]

@@HEATHERMAEE55 I'm sorry you had to go through it, there is nothing healthy in these kind of relationships and IMO best thing is to establish what would be appropriate closure for you and then when you're ready, move on and never allow this type of being ever in your space. Yes, they can make you stronger and more resilient and lead you back to your power but they can often break you to the point of completely losing yourself and your will to live. Take care, look after yourself FIRST 🙏🏻🙏🏻🧡🧡🧡

[@conniepatterson7215]

Payback? So what makes you any different than a narcissist? If you were dating a narcissist, there is no payback or balance. The best thing is to cut your losses and move on. If you are a normal healthy minded individual, then there is no “getting back” at a narcissist because you have conscious and act with logic, reason, and empathy. The narcissist has no conception of empathy and in a battle against one where a non narc is trying to give the narc a taste of their own medicine, it will never work because the narc does not give a shite about you plus their minds think in deviant ways and healthy minds cannot comprehend how low they will go.

[@Zhadyre]

@@conniepatterson7215 the Narc I was referring to is a younger sibling I'll have to share a considerable inheritance with, plus the corresponding obligations. Payback will be getting my way regarding which properties I want and the due taxes as I'm living on and working the land atm and she *isn't* but somehow expects equal 'rights'. My narcissistic ex I cut ties with and went no contact years ago 🙏🏻

[@anony7170]

@@HEATHERMAEE55 how did they manage to hack your phone? Asking as the narcissist in My life ATM has said things that show they are watching my online activity at the very least

[@alcudiababe1]

Let's not apologize then. By the sounds of it fake apologies are worse. So, if you're angry and not ready to apologise - don't! Do it when you feel ready or want to. I'm just saying this because growing up my parents have forced me to say sorry over things I'm clearly not and I've hated doing it and resented them for it but either Mom or Dad tell me to be the bigger person and that's what they've said to get me to do it so then in my mind I do feel superior to the person who just wouldn't apologise as the evil Narcissist because then I feel better than them then, but I know in the past it's fake so I had to have a word with myself and change my actions and apologize only when I mean it - because really what do superior people with Narcissistic tendancies do with apologies? They resume the role of I'm entitled, others should be wrong because I'm not. Does anyone see what I'm saying?

[@LisaPFrampton]

I totally get it. I won't apologize anymore just because we had a fight or things aren't going his way. I used to "be the bigger person" and say sorry, but now I only do when I know I was in the wrong and I do it for myself tbh.

[@connynielson8686]

@1.09 the handshaker lol. That's exactly what they're like

[@jolesliewhitten6545]

Run!

[@thinkfirst1989]

Fuck, I do most of these things! I randomly lie about things. Funny thing to say I don't do that one, I know! I have lied though, about significant things too. But I don't think I'm a narcissist. I don't get bored easily and I actually stay in relationships too long. And I AM genuinely interested in other people, but I would say being genuinely interested in a person is somewhat rare for me because I have felt I can't relate to most people. I've also recently realized how much my criticism bothers the people I care about and I've never been doing it to make people feel bad- I have (wrongly) assumed that everyone always wants to do everything the best and always saw my criticism as adding to the perspective they've already brought to the table. But I finally realized how much it wears on people, and that human relationships are more important than abstract ideas of perfection about most things. Anyway, I'm commenting because I'm a genuinely empathetic person who also has ADHD and CPTSD and I genuinely don't have bad intentions, just blind spots and weird coping mechanisms. Narcissists are people who are out to take advantage of others and I am not. So there must be a lot of other people who do a lot of these same things that are not narcissists.

[@conniepatterson7215]

I agree with most of this except the fake apology. I have never known any narcissist, covert or otherwise take responsibility for anything and offer even a fake apology. Never do they say they are sorry for anything but they LOVE to make people around them feel responsible for everything they are unhappy about in life and will constantly want apologies and claim that those apologies are fake. They are also constantly thinking they are being “disrespected” by everyone. When in public everyone is looking at them, and everyone wants to see them fail. Such as, if they are in a mall and a group of people laugh across a room, the covert believes it was directed at them and will comment negatively about the group. Also when in public they will say to their victim, “Everyone is looking at you, stop -- that way.” It could be stop talking, dressing, acting, etc. anything that degrades you. Both narc types will do this.

[@1firebrat]

Thank you! I was married 25 years to this foolishness!Thank God I’m free!!

[@realtalk1234]

Attributes of my wife 😆.

[@spotthenarcissist]

oh noooo. That is tragic

[@thefletchlife7837]

Attributes of every wife...

[@realtalk1234]

@@thefletchlife7837 its weird lol

[@kitcrft421]

Definitely attributes of my ex-wife

[@frankharris3380]

I feel for you for having a Narc wife. Take care of yourself and have a strong social network of male friends to emotionally support you and keep you sane.

[@sharonapril765]

ive been dealing with one thanks for your help I appreciate it thanks gangstaling her name is TRISHA from wersten cape South Africa

[@rbin5156]

This is absolutely 💯 truth

[@spotthenarcissist]

Thank you!

[@richardmeyer1837]

5:34 Yes Gaslighting

[@HeavyJ318]

They often gravitate towards religion or spirituality. They have a sense of 'spiritual superiority' and want to be seen as some kind of guru or oracle.

[@saundrafoster5154]

You hit all the buttons...

[@user-ey4rc5tu4t]

Copy- yes. Right down to puking.

[@jolesliewhitten6545]

My ex even told me I shouldn’t have talked when we visited my grandparents.

[@rinatlas-bane]

If someone acts like they are a good person, isn't that a good thing tho? Only bad people don't care about being a good person. And lots of people try new hobbies and decide it's not their calling. It takes time to find something that someone really loves. I thought I would like painting but then discovered I like jewelry making more and now I make jewelry all the time. It just took me a long time of giving painting a real chance and honing my skills before I gave up. Spent that time painting, quitting, trying again, quitting again, etc. To others it might have looked like I just couldn't stick to something. But I was just loving my life.

[@wandah9468]

My whole family. I never knew where I stood, could never take anything at face value except negativity, aggression, shouting, abuse. Now I'm scared and they are trying to lure me back in. I ran away twice in my teens, anything was better than living with that. I'm 65 now, in good health. They better hope it stays that way for a long time, because when I get up there, I will be bitchslapping quite a few perpetrators for their crimes. Oh, I dont think the Lord will stop me right away, I'll have a chance to make a statement before he stops me.

[@Smoketherapy]

Try to Joke with a Covert Narcissist and see who who gets shot first.

[@yausssecre8425]

Narc some rare qustions i havent seen let me know your toughts about this 1: They get a number to a girl in the street and after writing the first messages she ignores him and stop responding. 2: She dont want to go on a date or come whit excuses 3: She says she is not interested in talking or the person is not her type 4: She dont want to make out or kiss on the first, second, or third date 5: If she start to respond to messages slowly (after several hours, days) 6: Love bombing phase do they send 10 messages or more in a row with compliments or how does it work, 7: How do they react if a girl dont like being love bombed and says stop sending messages or i am busy or she says i am not in the mood for this 8: If a girl says she is to tired to talk or to tired to get love bombing messages 9: Dont most girls get turned of by the needy behavior and reject them quickly? Because normaly girls dont fall for men who chase them 10: And what is the reaction if she says she have a boyfriend/lover or dating somone else when they start talking 11: In the beginning when getting a number do they love bomb direct or wait after getting a date or does the lovebombing come later after alot of normal conversations 12: The girl says stop writing to me (this can be in the beginning or after a longer conversation)

[@spotthenarcissist]

Interesting

[@yausssecre8425]

@@spotthenarcissist I wrote wrong, i mean what is their normal reactions to the 12 points

[@EMichaelBall]

Re: N°9, women usually don’t chase men. So I guess success from a man’s chasing depends on the type of chasing he does, and how subtle/natural it is? I don’t know; I’m not one to chase, and just am going by what I’ve seen, online. I assume you’re a guy, asking about a girl you know? She may simply not be into you, nothing to do with narcissism. Men would be best off looking at content from Matthew Hussey, The Optimized Man, Donovan Sharpe, Alexander Grace, and Coach Greg Adams. All have good concepts to synthesize, though fully applying Sharpe’s content will stifle the souls of about 20% of women.

[@roberttruman8444]

What does any of this have to do with Narcissism?

[@yausssecre8425]

@@roberttruman8444 i wanted to know peoples experience how a narcissist react in these 12 situations, because they seem to have a similair behavior no matter what country they are from

[@fab3laundry]

They want to know everything about your past so they can throw it in your face later. You can have being a victim of crime thrown in your face. So even if you think there is nothing they could pick on, think again. Did you kiss more than person in your life? Well you should be ashamed. Were you a Tom boy? They might tell all your colleagues that you are trans. Nothing wrong with being trans. The problem is telling your colleagues without your permission if you are and lying if you’re not. If you work in a church or religious school their lie could result in your termination. But they will likely tell you it’s because of your performance in the job or you are “just not the right fit”.

[@kimberlycolton5921]

This is my mother to the t. Yet she tries to make me out yo be and she actually makes me think about it. Not anymore tho. I've finally figured it out after oh 45 years of her manipulative gaslighting crap talking behind my back and telling bawl faced lies about me. And taking credit for my passions and beliefs. Makes her little digs about me around people that might be showing me favor. She is really bad now that I put her in check. She has made up so much abuse in her life she believes it all. She literally makes every man she's with beat her down. Says the most horrable stuff about everyone and I mean everyone Noone is sacred not me my brother when he was alive not even her own grandkids so Noone else is gor sure. Yet she will deny this ro her death. She will deny every vicious thing she does and lose her mind turn it around on you. I love her shes my mom but I hate her as a person. And as a mom if that makes sense

[@carvalone3076]

Yep

[@matthewatwood207]

Funny how the video claims covert narcissists don't know they're lying, and in the next breath talks about the thrill they get from getting away with a lie. Can't have it both ways. Subtle enabling, this notion is.

[@Oceanwaves7]

Yo I’m dealing with this in my roommate situation. On a year lease and don’t know what to do

[@emmarae4322]

Gaslighting and triangulating are the worst.

[@mayank64723]

Atleast how many traits, if found in a person s/he can be testified as a narcissist?

[@ceridwynnhaven6236]

Wow, the first half of this video is dangerous for anyone with AD(H)D or social anxiety. Hopefully people take into consideration the silver linings.

[@kayellis5575]

Scary accurate. They all must do the same phony schtick

[@spotthenarcissist]

Coverts are scary

[@wendysimpson6395]

I computer generated voice with the inability to proounce narcissist plus repetition put me off very quickly. Pity.

[@christymckee8133]

Yes a covert natcissist will take over your personna down to the coconut oil you use and even rob you of all your blue jeans. Like, even if its your hubby. Then they start giving you shit because you no longer wear a size 1 (and neither does he, or a 2 or a 3,4,5 but he will stuff himself in them anyway). Im pretty sure I should write a book about my experiences with narcholes...

[@emmarae4322]

They create chaos in their victims lives and destroy relationships for fun.

[@michaelclark4043]

As I've said in other comments they think they're such smart fellers but they're really just fart smellers.

[@dZeNa.]

My work (professor) is like a game & I get money for doing Blabla. But „it was a joke“ He was copying the gestures and mimics of coworkers, putting them down,talking bad about them & even about his best friend. But used him to prepare for breakup(Triangulation). He lied and lied and lied…it was like normal to me, after breakup the puzzles started to come to a whole picture and I was: wow! How easy it was for him without thinking about the lie🥴once he said a girl is a costumer than it was a coworker and I didn’t even realize the lie 😮 When I said I live my life and I’m happy with my life and money and so on: he said „it’s not enough“ Now I know what was meant Gaslighting:he wouldn’t me repeat and repeat myself over a topic and just watch me going crazy

[@jenniferklekamp677]

My mom and dad wow

[@Simon0]

What's scary about covert narcs is how they fool so many people. I know one and many people love him and think he's great. But he's not! I can see through him 🤣

[@jenniferklekamp677]

My mom wow

[@michaelohman4980]

Lying manipulating dodging veering underhanded tactics that all speak out to not have anything to do with them, but why do we give them the 'benefit of the doubt'? Call them out, they deny, keep on asking them, they clam up.

[@nocreativename]

Omg am I a covert narcissist 😞

[@lucalu459]

Same, help

[@spotthenarcissist]

Do you have all these?

[@nocreativename]

@@spotthenarcissist yes and it makes me feel horrible tbh. I don’t want to be like that at all!

[@iononcantomascrivo]

This totally describes my former friend. Although, I think she's more of a sociopath or a sadistic narcissist. I'll refer to her as “Molly.” She definitely played me. I saw the warning signs early on even when she tried claimed that the people who had problems with her it was all a case of “misunderstanding” or people “not getting where she was coming from.” I should have trusted my gut instinct because I had a very uneasy feeling even in the beginning. Instead, I made the mistake of asking why she was always at the center of conflict and that everyone else around her can't be that dumb that they can't see the forest for the trees, essentially. Boy oh boy, did that lead to a blowout fight. Everything you covered from only being friendly when she was grooming someone who had a resource she wanted to exploit, always believed she was entitled to be the center of attention and had to be in charge even if she didn't know what the heck she was doing (which was quite often), playing games with the truth or telling half truth or flat out lies, to minimizing her faults and metastasizing her positives (which were very few), slandering and libeling me behind my back to her flying monkeys (all of whom later on abandoned her) and anyone who would listen, total willingness to smack talk people to me airing out all of their dirty laundry which I later learned she was doing the same thing behind my back, having circular conversations in which she always tried to shift the focus back to her or turning back at me if I tried to hold her accountable for her atrocious behavior. This comes back to the whole telling half truths and absolute lies part. Molly even lied about having been abused by her older brother when she was a little girl, that her stepmom had beaten her and broken her jaw, that her one-time boyfriend that she had after her first marriage crumbled had abused and kicked her out miles away from family with nowhere to go and that she had had cancer. All of it was a lie. It was confirmed by one of her older sisters who I wrote on social media who said and I quote: “She's been a liar since she could talk!” completely incapable of discussing conflict like a rational adult (she was in her 40s when I met her and in her early '50s when I cut contact), I felt more like I was dealing with up temperamental adolescent middle school student, prone to temper tantrums and irrational rage whenever she didn't get her way. And as far as grooming someone to take my place, she did. She pitted me against a very dear friend of mine and did projection. It succeeded and we didn't talk for a long while. We reconnected a few years ago and I was fortunately able to wake him up to what a toxic waste of space Molly is. He has also since gone no contact. Before doing so, he gave me an update on the dumpster fire that is Molly's life: her severely neglected son and daughter are now grown and have little if anything to do with her. Her daughter is a divorced single mother (I'll let you guess who contributed to Molly's daughter's marriage failing), her son got kicked out of the Navy for attacking a girl and saved himself from being court-martialed by faking a suicide attempt, Molly's marriage is on the rocks and she is now the around the clock caregiver for her husband's spiteful elderly mother-in-law. To say there is no love lost between these two women would be a gross understatement. Mother-in-law hates Molly's guts. It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that Molly baby trapped mother-in-law's son into marriage by claiming she was infertile or that Molly turned mother-in-law's grandson into a spoiled, entitled overgrown manchild completely incapable of functioning in the real world. Could it?

[@loyaldior2950]

🎯🎯

[@StarWonder]

Sounds like the liver king! LMAO!!!!

[@stellaercolani1721]

Sounds like it came out of Cosmopolitan.

[@apple1234iou]

Horrid things they are

[@mahjoubayuri350]

What if a covert narcissist is your teacher will you be able to succeed

[@JehudaEwert]

Woke cancel culture mad teshuva (the AA type apology, recognise error, stop, apppologie containing selfreflaction, don't repeat and try to repair if possible) impossible, celebrates series monogamie (if something between two doesn't work, exchange the human being -degraes you and met to replaceable stuff, no relationship develops ever, and the women-brothel dating app gets the money, one cent per avoided happy life attempt, boosting narcissists that do love to doctor on their representation).Problem: We are a monogame species if you look at our body biologically (mentioned in many of my videos how it's obvious, like pheromone receptors, retina density difference, fertility cycle, brood care- we can contrary to doves change the partner, because we were not very high in the food chain.Life expectancy made only a few possible.)Living against the original urges - not the commercially into imbalance boosted parts of an urge- has lethal consequences always.From food choice to morbid obesity, or several very horrific statistics show what indoctrination of narcissist life-style does to women.Leading to the world population imploding, while those propagating the idea of overpopulation themselves are highly promiscuous, like BIlll Gates.Gaining money is a short sale, a paper fire.Most tragically is the narcissist "self-interest" is the interest of upholding the image they want to present instead of they themselves.That's the deep melancholy I feel in every narcissist.It's the psychiatric construct they want others and force themselves to serve.And as much as social media big tec used neuroplacticity to make people becoming narcissists, as much with hard work a narcissist could replace his/her mask with their actual "I" - changing their own permanent self-hostage torture into a life, as well as alleviating the life of others.And there is the tricky thing of pardon - without therapy the narcissist uses it to serve his mask and kill his "I" even more, but without pardon he/she is forced to maintain an unnecessary torture.But as long as we celebrate the symptoms of narcissism, throwing people away with promiscuity (your neither the "super-hot s#" nor the "stallion", that had 500 partners in a decade, you proved 500 times inability to connect, threw yourself 500 times away, and you lost 500 relationships, and those losses show with a delay of 2 decades) etc. the worse it becomes.

[@kikipaisley]

News flash-most people have narcissistic tendencies,and many points in your list are symptoms of autism,ADHD, anxiety,PTSD,panic attacks and so on

[@abeautifulcountry9353]

Agree 100%

[@emmarae4322]

NPD is different from narcissistic traits. And narcissism goes along with anti social personality disorder.