142: Kent Carollo | Fulfilling The Measure of My Creation

[@jtrevm]

I was married; tried so hard. There came one session with my therapist when she said - but want do YOU want? And I didn't understand. I was here to make a marriage work. I didn't have a concept of ME. What was ME? Of course I was lost in the business of making this marriage work. I no longer was. Just that marriage And my wife - who was suffering - so obviously. So - what was 'ME'. That of course was the point of my therapist's question. Could I see that had to exist in all of it? That I was? That I could myself have wants which were OK - that I 'was' - and not just a cog in a marriage which was 'stuck'?. I didn't get it. It took another two years before the crash. I survived it - and then I discovered that I was. But I have never forgotten how I got lost existentially in a marriage - to which I had given my vow to God - until death ...'do I part'. ....so help me God. A deathly obedience. Breaking that 'vow' (no!) broke me - but God was to take the pieces - and remake me. But that's a whole other story......

[@johnandrick64]

Especially enjoyed hearing of his love and respect for his wife who allowed him to ask himself questions that would separate them from each other. His NEW self-love just bubbles out of him most beautifully. What a great guy ! He'll be "a keeper" for some lucky man out there.

[@robertkentta1497]

incredibly important stories - beautifully told - they should be mandatory watching for all claiming to be human. There is so much about general self-knowledge and self-acceptance in these sessions. Thanks to all who make this series available. I've completely impressed with the clarity of mind and voice in the telling each time I watch an episode. You bring good into the world - there needs to be a broader exposure of these stories to help us all. I started my coming out journey 1985 - didn't think I'd survive the 80's and the AIDS Epidemic that was sweeping away our generation(s) of Gay men at that time. If we could have had such affirming and healthy messages about ourselves a that time... it's often taken decades to build up that body of self awareness and healthy attitude toward ourselves. The reason I say these stories are important to hear and share, is they can ease, truncate, avoid even - a lot of the pain and suffering in this world because of fear to accept ourselves fully as the beautiful people, and whole beings we are - and are meant to be.

[@sweetbb125]

I don't know to what extent, but not being LSD I do feel that your actual audience is wider than your target audience - it is really a universal life experience. I have experienced manny if not most of the things you discuss on this channel, but from the perspective of an extremely traditional and ridgit cristian upbringing. Thank you for this podcast / youtube channel.

[@massagewerks1734]

Wow. I’ve seen a thousand coming out videos including Kent before. No one has explained how he went backwards in his life with his therapist and figured out when the trigger hit him of when the internal message of shame and not being right in how he saw himself. I looked backwards and found the same message in my life when I was around 4. I’ve been in therapy for 35 years and just now connected to it. I punished myself as an evangelical Christian most of my life rather than owning it internally while staying married for 27 years. I’ve been divorced for 20 years and had some gay relationships but just now the light turned on. Thank you. 😊

[@rkeller8141]

Mormon men who happen to be gay, are mesmerizing. Kent speaks wonderfully, full of confidence, what an example of healthy manhood. .

[@caraboska]

So edifying to hear about how Kent learned even before coming out to himself how to have healthy, non-sexual relationships. This is so important for people of all orientations to learn before they embark on a relationship.

[@skyliner7333]

I can relate to feeling Unacceptable for much of my life as well. Only at my advanced age am I learning to shed this.

[@johnnyknight-rauch2814]

Phenomenal individual and podcast. I’m 70 & wish I could have heard this 20 yrs ago! Thanks for sharing.

[@LatterGayStories]

Thanks for this great feedback.

[@FINEDIAMOND]

He’s really cute and lighthearted. I’m happy for him and wish him all the best! Would love to meet a guy like him.

[@rahvp]

What an eloquent guy. His good character shines through…he seems like a guy I’d love to be friends with in real life.

[@joshuajake360]

Me too

[@bdshafer]

Your authenticity, gifts, talents and sharing abilities were eloquent and profound. You are indeed Blessed.

[@ivo823]

Great man and great story!

[@charleskock5026]

I'm not Mormon, but I went through the same pain this man went through. I'm sitting here crying my eyes out. I have two daughters and they have abandoned me. I miss them very much. Please pray for me😭

[@kennethbailey9853]

God Please Bless You.

[@mikelangley3919]

Hi I just found this podcast. Wow very powerful I was riveted to everything that Kent said. I could relate to so much that he brought up. My live was very similar. Thank you for showing this.

[@tedbohn4738]

First, thank you both for another incredible video/interview; I have no doubt that these interviews are helping tens of thousands of people every day in a gentle yet probative way. As with everyone you've interviewed, Kent is very smart, gentle, kind, and concerned about the well-being of others. That has impressed me about your subjects. But I listened to Kent - how this young man suffered - and even though he's not angry, I am. I make no apology for that. I came out in 1974 at the age of 18 in New York where I was raised. Of course that was in the context of the anti-war movement and the Civil Rights Movement, so I had already made the political connections long before coming out. One thing all of us understood in those days was that we had no choice but to fight. So that's what we did. We did it just to stay alive, and also because we also understood that it had to be done so that future generations of Gay people might have it easier - that their lives would be more fulfilling. Demonstrations were a weekly, sometimes daily, fact of life. In the early, post-Stonewall days, those demonstrations often involved only a handful of people. We took our lives and jobs in our hands by just showing up. We did it anyway. There was no other choice. We sometimes had cans, bottles or trash thrown at us, and straight people would not infrequently spit at us - or worse. Then, within the first five years or so, the handful of people grew to a thousand. Anita Bryant helped that along with her national campaign of hate. By 1980, the streets were filled - some of us ok with the fact that we would spend our entire lives on the front lines with fists raised - others reluctant participants who were risking everything. And then AIDS hit, and we never left the streets for another 16 years. We demonstrated, we shut down everything from the streets of NY and D.C., to the FDA in Bethesda. We got arrested. The battle lines had been drawn and we felt at home in the trenches. When I hear testimonies like Kent's - that involve so much personal turmoil - it just makes me angry. I don't like it when I see or hear Gay men suffer. That's been my mantra since the start. I guess I'm glad that both of you have retained your core gentleness and are still so even-keeled in spite of what it took you to get here. I know you reach and change more people this way - but please recognize that before these conversations were even possible, a whole lot of angry, fierce Gay folks took to the streets in anger. A few of us are now elders and still here, looking for any evidence to show us that all that struggle made the lives of those who came after us just a little easier. Thank you again for this very valuable work.

[@chuckvaughn]

I just saw the new Cole R podcast and see you are getting married in September! Congrats!!! You deserve great things. So does your guy! Good luck and hugs to you!!!

[@rkeller8141]

Great videos, excellent interviewing skills, Kyle. I’ve also noticed how the weight has come off. Good job, looking handsome and healthy.

[@rolandvachon9848]

What a powerful and eloquently told story from a truly enlightened and gifted person.

[@parkviewmo]

Kent, you are an amazing human being! I am taking the ingredient list and looking at myself again. There are so many things about humans that I kept waiting for permission to think, do, and be. That is an empowering story. I wondered what I would find today, and I thought I would just be living through it. But, here someone gave me this wonderful key! Thank you, and I hope you live in peace, love, and joy!

[@Richard-ky9lf]

Outstanding podcast. Thank-you

[@randyrock6312]

This interview is just excellent! Kent and his story brings about a deeper understanding of men and women in same gender relationships. While it recognizes the significance of the physical contact between men to men and women to women the discussion segues into Kent's inner thoughts that bring about who he really is instead of the simplistic "Gay Guy" label. As you listen to Kent speak the listener is drawn into his thoughts because he reflects on the inner turmoil while still offering hope for himself and others that a change is available. The one thing I would address that I think Kent did not say was that even though he was not bitter and that maybe true, I am thinking at several points or times in his life that Kent was angry with his church and family for creating the environment that forced him to hang onto the rope with both hands and white knuckles to keep himself alive. I think most people only naturally would have times of anger because of the living environment that forced on to only hang on. The danger is that many people continue that anger and do not allow for forgiveness which inevitably leads to the terrible ends of bitterness and that helps no one most especially the bitter person his/herself. Thankfully, Kent has not become bitter and provides understanding to the listener/viewer and explains how he was/is able to move on in life very beautifully. In short, Kent is a beautiful human being...

[@chuckvaughn]

I'm not rlds, but I was raised christian. I never knew gay either. I was 37 when I was married and found out I was different. Something just changed. I hope others find their truth and can above all, be happy.

[@donjamtal]

I noticed Kent was wearing a ring. Did he remarry?

[@amlp04]

How terrible religions are! How terrible that paradigms are! And all that is not God will, but men constructs. God is only unconditional love and wee all are allowed to be who we truly are.

[@davidmolina7543]

This was a very poignant, transparent, cogent, and cathartic dialogue.

[@FINEDIAMOND]

He’s really cute and lighthearted. I’m happy for him and wish him all the best! Would love to meet a guy like him.