136: Miles and Jim | Giving Ourselves the Permission to Thrive

[@RT3319]

Without a doubt, this has just gotta be my most favorite of these podcasts. These two guys are just delightful. It's almost like you can literally feel the love flowing between them when one is talking and the other looks over at him - or holds his hand. Wishing them all the happiness, health and love that life may offer. For the rest of us "older" guys who were "hetro-married" for so many years, gives us hope for the future. I was once told by a wise, elderly sage, "You never get too old to fall in love again..."

[@emichan18]

THESE ARE MY DADS!!!! If you guys ever check the comments and see this just know that I love you so much! To anyone reading this who’s questioning their sexuality and/or faith in the church, please don’t be scared or ashamed to be yourself! There is a whole community of people who have been in the same position as you and are right by your side. ❤️❤️❤️

[@greghardin2394]

Your Dad's are awesome! Give them a Hug for me, Big Hugs!

[@ronsmith2241]

It was such a great podcast. I can definitely relate. I am 74 still married to my wife after 51 years and I am still holding the fire extinguisher. I cared for my wife with MS for 23 years. She is in a nursing home now. I came out at 63 and I was a Baptist Pastor and missionary. Many thanks for all you shared and I wish you every happiness together.

[@peterellis1371]

Great Podcast Kyle - and Jim and Miles. It has to be hoped that podcasts like this will prevent young guys from denying their true selves. Also, families to appreciate the anguish of their gay family members. True love has no restrictions,

[@jbart5260]

literal chills listening to this wonderful couple. So kind, articulate, and loving. What incredible role models they are. Thank you for having them on the vodcast

[@susanmark2000]

A lovely, loving couple. Thank you for sharing with us.

[@xandreduplessis]

Hold my hand. Your closeness strengthens me. I long with all my soul what you have.

[@paulhilder1309]

I am not part of the LSD community, this conversation so resonated as a man who came out at 50 after years of conforming beautifully spoken words. I am happy in love and the best me now

[@auto137226]

I stopped associating with the church following my mission in the late 70’s. I stayed in the closet until I retired. Life is much better after coming out and formally resigning from the Mormon Church.

[@VoltaireMM]

verdade

[@carlosrabino5125]

You are bringing so much hope to others. My kids and a very small group of people know about me. However, because my partner is not out, I still feel some guilt that I can’t be completely honest. Hope one day soon I can be completely out of the closet😢

[@tomg1247]

We really enjoyed having a couple as your guests. Having watched several of the interviews I realize, as a non-LDS, how pressured young members are to marry. We were spared that pressure, and have been together for 38 years--married since the SCOTUS ruling. We can relate very much to fidelity towards a spiritual journey and being more faithful to a church than the church has been faithful to us. We have known both great love and acceptance and judgment and condemnation. Also, is the large group of "Christian" leadership in so called progressive churches that are polite (more than loving) but ultimately dismissive where true inclusion in ministry is involved.

[@Terry-dl4nf]

I love Happy Endings! Thanks guys, inspirational

[@xandreduplessis]

Thank you guys. I appreciate it so much.

[@xandreduplessis]

Oh my goodness I just wanna cry and cry. I just wanna be held and be kept safe. I so miss and need community. I missed so much. At 49 the chances are not good.

[@susanmark2000]

May you find what you seek.

[@carlosrabino5125]

Please, please, don’t give up! There’s someone there for you. Mine came at 54. You never know!

[@tonyoconnell3992]

Interesting watching and listening to this wonderful couple reminds me of the affect the Roman Catholic Church has had on members of the LGBTQI. Very similar issues and hurdles except it's a different demonination. Thank you.

[@jameswalberg3265]

One of your best episodes. Both interviewees are very likeable, vulnerable, and honest. They really have it together. Good questions. Kyle, you are honing your interview skills. Everyone has such a unique story. I see two role models for gay men. I wished there were more Jims and Miles' in this world. You give us hope.

[@kathrynclass2915]

Hey, yay! I’ve been eagerly awaiting for another episode to air.

[@benjameme]

Great interview and great stories. Thanks for sharing.

[@housemate123]

Hi 👋 I have to say I stumbled on to your u tube channel and its really interesting 👍 The story's I hear from you and your guests are very up lifting in many ways but so so sad also. Im Irish and my country has gone trough hugh charges over the last 20 years from a Catholic state to one that celebrates Gay marriage! My husband and I live in Dublin, Ireland 🇮🇪 and I come from a Liberal family and being Gay was never a problem. It's amazing to me that a Church and a Society can put its people in to such a terrible state that they would want to kill them self's. I also feel it maybe important to talk to the wife's of these Gay men. May be you have and I haven't seen it yet? Anyway keep up the good work and if your ever in Dublin give us a shout and we will bring you for a Pint of Gunness 😁 Kind regards Ken.

[@elizabethgrogan8553]

@The Boylans Another South Coast Irish here. I have a first cousin who is lesbian and in a very happy marriage. My nephew is gay. I was quite young when he was born but I could see, when he was 6, that he was gay. My family has no problems with LGBGTQ community but my nephew's b/f's family are very homophobic. They've managrd to build a lovely home and are sooo happy.

[@mapleridgekennels]

Bingo...it was said in this podcast...missionaries out there doing their mission hoping that God will turn them straight if they know their gay in their heart.. Stop running.... acceptance is the key... radical Mormonism has a lot to answer too.

[@kathrynclass2915]

Wonderful thought! That those church leaders or parents of gay kids need to ask themselves if they would be willing to have their straight child enter into a hetero marriage with a gay partner. Would they want that for their child. I would hope that asking this question would, not only clarify what they truly are asking their child to do but also open their eyes to what they’re truly asking the gay person to do. I hope that question would bring greater compassion and understanding and change the direction of the counsel they would have given.

[@robertramsay5963]

Good point, Kathryn. When watching movies like Brokeback Mountain, it's the wives I feel for. How awful that some gay man has thought so little of women that he would hide his true self under her skirts. To me, that is the height of selfishness, thinking only of himself, showing no care for the woman.

[@kathrynclass2915]

@@robertramsay5963 whoa! That’s not what I meant at all! Way to twist my words! I don’t think the LGBTQIA person is thinking “so little” of the other person. Church leaders tell people that the mixed orientation marriage will work if they’re righteous. Maybe it’s the church leaders that think “so little” of both people.. maybe it’s God... maybe it’s a messed up belief system that needs fixing. There are a lot of things that church leaders ask members to sacrifice in this life, because of the idea that the next life after we die will be better for having done it. Statistically, I suppose, some amount of people are trying to hide their sexual orientation without caring about the partner, but I do not think that is commonplace. I think more often than not, folks actually have some attraction to or a strong emotional bond to their partner. That bond, mixed with faith in god, and thus the leaders of the church, leads them to believe they will overcome their LGBTQ+ sexual orientation, and be heterosexual, therefore they’re not trying to deceive the other person. They’ve been deceived and led to deny their true selves. Raheem that being deceitful or manipulative, I think the LGBTQIA person is engaging in one of the most sacrificial expressions of having faith and trust in god that there is. Not to mention, some folks don’t know their orientation until after their married and are trying to work from that angle as well. Maybe everyone involved is caught up in a system of beliefs that is harmful. I don’t blame the LGBTQIA person at all. I haven’t seen Brokeback Mountain, so I can’t comment on the relationships in that movie.

[@robertramsay5963]

Kyle, "Coming In" is a brilliant suggestion and far better than "Coming Out". Why didn't I think of that? And interesting discussion about morality--very true that many people only think of sexual morality when considering that topic. Lying for 38 years of your life--wow, that must have been difficult. It sounds like going on a mission is a way of working your way into heaven??? I hear you saying God created you, so then you have to agree that sometimes God creates babies without limbs, or those with mental retardation. God gave humans the ability to procreate and sometimes things can go wrong in this world that has drifted away from God's ideal. I don't think God micromanages in the womb. He created Adam, Eve and Jesus, but other than those three we're a result of chance.

[@shootayibyukhrabaytak674]

Sad to be raised with such fear because of religion...............this is the horror and destructiveness of religion, especially when it affects gay people.