159 - Bomb Disney World

Live from the porch! Tim goes off on people going to Disney World, smoking weed in your mid-thirties, and his parent's divorce.
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Tim J DIllon - / timjdillon
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[@coloradomotion1836]

Here in 2023 because this may be the greatest art ever produced.

[@palettetools6461]

KZbin has Tim on don't amplify shadow ban.

[@PAWGmoth]

@@palettetools6461 go watch Alex jones u quack 😂

[@ivywoodxrecords]

It’s a classic. Verified certified

[@benjaminst.pierre6448]

2024

[@pedroberoes49]

These porch days were gold.

[@Clubskunk]

Imagine being retired in Florida and taking a sunset stroll and u hear this conversation from there balcony.

[@jhart1127]

Serves you fucking right.

[@davidperez5089]

I doubt they could decipher what is being said with those ears.

[@jaybirddee3790]

Such a funny allusion! Lolol!!

[@jhart1127]

@Mr. Bum Tickler I don't think they speak English natively... Let's move on before we get hashtagged for a hate crime...

[@WanderingBat]

@@jhart1127 allusion is a word that could fit here tbh

[@LeTrioMen]

2024 and this is still probably his best episode if not top 5

[@ivywoodxrecords]

I come back to listen to the porch quite often. It’s a happy place for me

[@furiousd123456]

god damn how did it take me so long to start listening to tim dillon

[@frostychickenprods]

Yes

[@amiller9370]

me too!

[@Dalwhinnie15]

Me too. Late to the game.

[@JeffWithAnF]

I started in September and just got to this ep!

[@allburtromburtington9959]

Yaaas!

[@eqx7168]

So Tim's parents went to Disney World to save their marriage, like some kind of consumerist Ayahuasca retreat for boomers

[@diannh2894]

😭😭😭😭😭🤣

[@destytayzo77]

Lmao

[@COOK1EMONST4R]

Like you’ve ever done one

[@Sophisticlesenergy]

This sounds like tim wrote it

[@Kennyc313313]

Yes or yes

[@joeyvalentic4439]

Hardest I’ve ever laughed at a podcast. Here in 2024.

[@trashboat_]

facts timmy is him

[@daraghcuddy244]

Haha same. So funny.

[@kennethmassa6682]

The first twenty minutes absolutely killed me

[@coloradomotion1836]

This podcast, of all them, is my favorite.

[@alucard6919]

44:59 "Friendliness... is desperation and fear." - Tim Dillon

[@dominiciervasi1176]

Tim Dillon has the best commercials on the web.

[@escapedvivesectionist7011]

That CBD ad was something else right?

[@dominiciervasi1176]

@@escapedvivesectionist7011 He could convince you to buy his bathwater I think.

[@PT-tv9my]

When does the add start

[@sellersgarner]

​@@PT-tv9my yeah ,,,how the fuck am I missing it?

[@goncalo1485]

Episode 213, exactly 1 hour, dick pills ad, is the funniest thing you will ever hear

[@matthalpin6656]

These will forever be the 'good old days' of Tim's career! Long live the King of Long Island!

[@ANARCHITECT708]

The Wix commercial might be Tim's crowning achievement 👏

[@amberdiaz5847]

"I HAVE 100 ACRES FOR $14 DOLLARS" ........... "Sir, you live on Skinwalker Ranch" LMFAOOOOO!!! this guy is a legend

[@BlazRa]

That would be an amazing deal plus you get the added benefit of all types of cool paranormal stuff to check out

[@StephenLawson]

"Friendliness is desperation and fear." New world philosophy

[@CJVS995]

Chimp smiling fearing for its life

[@unownnnn]

Tim Dillon's pop culture knowledge is unparalleled. Hilarious guy

[@DannySullivanMusic]

could not agree more. 10000% accurate

[@logibear3464]

He has a book of facts

[@ladeacarr4245]

agree... tim sees the world like we all should 🤣

[@paulcarmi8130]

You forgot nick mullen!

[@mortimersnerd1]

"this is life for most people: its just drudgery and hell and you get one moment of weightlessness where water is sprayed in your face and then they hand you a picture and go 'GET THE FUCK OUT"

[@DannySullivanMusic]

totally. entirely spot on.

[@dre009]

sometimes when i need a pick me up i watch this episode.

[@raunchdressing2204]

I'm still coming back lmao

[@MultiY4]

I've listened to this episode 10 times and I cry laughing every time.

[@ethanweaver8757]

I come back once a month just for this one

[@JenManning371]

Same guys

[@BlazRa]

It's classic

[@ladeacarr4245]

same

[@jhinabuser7699]

Same here man. I always come back to this episode and a few others that were released around the same time xd

[@aplacetobewithmythoughts7428]

When he went over the story of his family in Disney Land and Tim's Father said "Would you shut the fuck up so these THINGS will come over here!?" I've honestly never laughed that hard in over a year at least.

[@CJSteib]

If I thought he made that up, it would've got me. But I never laugh that hard at something that actually happened. My hardest laughs are always at someone's creativity to riff or comment on something happening; not a quote or story.

[@JJ_GoBlue]

RIP Ben.

[@albosch]

Don't change anything guys. This is pure gold. Cheers from Germany!

[@jsp7218]

@@SamuelGomes-ed8ux hahahahwtfhaha

[@chadlermondor8785]

How crazy I just watched saving private Ryan today

[@davidperez5089]

Cheers to Sonor & Hohner German fellow! Ghe best!!

[@DannySullivanMusic]

could not agree more. utterly right dude

[@goldencheese7247]

Na guck mal einer an. Den Kommentar hab ich vor 2 Jahren doch glatt übersehen.

[@Aus10march]

I come back to this once every 3 months

[@CJSteib]

We are approaching 6 months, welcome back

[@VA-gu1jq]

Life in the Big City!

[@TheDeathvice187]

@@CJSteibtimes ticking

[@crd88918]

“Things are coming... you’re not gonna wanna be high for them. Get it together.” Tim Dillon, august 2019

[@brianarc2]

Felt like he was talking to me!

[@sean_69]

@goatstop 😂😂😂. Tim inspired me to stop binging Percocet.

[@Peadeymclovin]

@@sean_69 he inspired me to start binging Percocet

[@austinlittle1638]

@@Peadeymclovin he inspired me to switch from percocet to cocaine.

[@DannySullivanMusic]

yes. 100% right!

[@LynisaStark]

This is the best thing I discovered in 2020 Edit: woahh the likes 🥺 one year later, still following Tim, what a guy

[@sublimelove23]

Yes

[@moonbear894]

When he said, in 2019, "society is on the verge of imminent collapse" well, the feels...all the Feels

[@roberttg3767]

F

[@laurentlin3068]

It's true. This guy is fking legend

[@emmureify]

Facts

[@t_royfilms]

Tim when you spoke about your parent’s divorce it felt like you were describing my entire life. Thanks for the pod.

[@rprp13]

legit just what I went thru high as fuck lol. 5 mins ago I legit said to myself "am I Tim Dillon?"

[@An0nAm0nda]

Preach!

[@d3monsn0wkitty]

Life in the big city

[@DannySullivanMusic]

your comment is 1000% right

[@kindadecent9754]

@@d3monsn0wkitty it’s more depressing in the country lol. You have options in the city

[@Michaelblake97]

The other guy just constantly giggling and snickering throughout the whole time Tim is talking makes this podcast soo funny

[@Xenochrist95]

His job is to record the show. He probably can't help the laughing.

[@Roy_mustang7]

I like that he makes an effort to put him on camera, while not forcing him to feel like he has to participate constantly.

[@aliencorporation2001]

The CBD ad is funnier than most specials.

[@hairingtonpiesworth7962]

I reminded and listened twice

[@Gonk]

Yeah he does the best product ads lol

[@brianlewis1372]

Dude wtf was that shit hahaha

[@elliotjoseph9654]

Was just about to say the same shit 😭😂😂😂😂

[@daviscrowell2918]

SHIT! cbd ad hit me haard

[@Bob-jn8gt]

These ad reads are revolutionary. I wish he’d go back to this style.

[@williamcondon7759]

I didn’t believe Tim was gay until I saw him smoke a cigarette

[@BlazRa]

Yeah it has to be the gayest way I've ever seen anybody smoke anything and one time I literally saw a guy in assless chaps and black leather smoke an origami penis-shaped joint

[@ericbontheweb]

And flip his hair

[@pencils812]

He doesn't seem to be inhaling the smoke into his lungs. He sucks it into his mouth and then blows it out. Is he a fake smoker?

[@chuckn4851]

@@ericbontheweb And said Amy Schumer was funny

[@Jimbow-sz9kh]

​@@chuckn4851that's mind blowing. How does someone so funny and talented have a comedy opinion that blatantly wrong? Tim is truly an eniggma

[@ass_69]

The porch casts are undoubtedly the best era of Tim

[@MonkeMane]

Watching tims podcast is helping me crawl out of a deep depression. Who needs therapy not me

[@nickjklol]

Forreal i think tims ability to take everything in stride and make light out of the most depressing of topics is kinda uplifting

[@Law9652]

Hearing his soul-destroying misanthropy somehow cheers people up.

[@tylerlemm9108]

Try better help -Tim

[@tylerlemm9108]

@@Law9652 fuck off man

[@Mr_Boifriend]

✨ same. Nothing feels real to me anymore. Only thing I’m genuinely enjoying is Tim Dillon rants. Peace 🙏 ✨

[@Wetzelpretzels]

I just got banned from the beach, cause i was playing this on my Bluetooth portable speaker

[@ballzzd33p29]

#Ballz.

[@Sprite_525]

Life in the big city

[@richardbaer711]

I got chewed out by homeowner that I was contracting for when she overheard some of that s***

[@johnbarron383]

@@richardbaer711 What did she say?

[@MouldyFudd]

hahaha

[@thatguydownthestreet8036]

The show is at its best when Tim is chain-smoking on a porch... I imagine if Tim relapsed it'd be the finest 1-5 episodes of podcasting n history.

[@tripleodipple9614]

you have my vote for tim relapsing. not trying to offend anyone, but hypothetically speaking, if you were to purchase my vote for something, and it were to be that, i would make it racist.

[@Jamal-f6z]

It'll just be ads if he relapses

[@Inevitabledreamss]

@@Jamal-f6z HAHAHA - you're certainly right

[@nickw7619]

@@Jamal-f6z Bert kreisher and Tom Segura must be cokeheads then based on the amount of ads on their Two Bears One Cave podcast with tim

[@MoldyDragon]

You may have your wish right now

[@Jay.Lombardii]

20:56 is one of Tim’s best😂

[@masterprattu]

I miss Ben's laugh punctuating the jokes. It makes the whole thing sooo much better.

[@ballzzd33p29]

Going to taco bell SOBER is unforgivable - Tim Dillon...

[@digger3578]

I delivered a motorcycle to Walt Disney Miller’s house. (Grandson of Disney) He pulled out some cash to tip me and it was a one hundred dollar bill. He saw it and said, “oops. Let me go get some other cash.” He walked next door to his OTHER house on mulholland drive and came back with a five dollar bill and gave it to me. Frankly, I thought it was hilarious.

[@nateclark8208]

Too funny

[@Theophany556]

Sure ya did pal

[@jessarhodes6196]

I can never tell when Tim is being serious when he talks about his family.

[@dennydarkko]

I feel like his “fake business” rant is real because it was so vivid and raw

[@xxxxOS]

I got some shitty, frustrating news today, I didn't have much hope that there was anything for me to watch today with the mood I'm in. Then this pops up. Thanks Tim.

[@jflanagan9696]

Life in the big city. (Hope everything turned out ok!)

[@milkcatdog394]

I love this episode the most. His telling of the final horror always kills me 😭

[@dcrea9416]

The horrah

[@dharmicshaman9519]

Tim makes me feel sane like I'm not the only person who sees things to be this way, and he makes me laugh about it along the way too!

[@jasondelvaux3036]

I love Tim's delivery so much. After I listen to his show, I find myself speaking like this to co-workers, family members, and random children this way. So much fun.

[@lostinthewoods8032]

Using your time poorly is the new productivity. Lead us to hell Tim.

[@bullmoosemedia]

"that ginger demon..." - thank you Tim, that got a hearty laugh out of me. 57:40

[@taylorroberts1657]

So proud to see this episode earn a million views. It’s because we wished him well.

[@TN-xx4ih]

Tim: “I think I have a long future with Disney world” Video title: “Bomb Disney”

[@blueberry22222]

The first time Ben laughed in this clip is when Tim was talking about the kids in cages children of divorce and trafficking 💀

[@jhart1127]

Hey from England. I used to work with a super pernicious, uppity guy who happened to be a failed dancer. He used to be Tigger at Disney World and was rugby tackled by a fat German kid over a small white picket fence in the park 🤷‍♀️ life in the big city.

[@pierrex3226]

I doubt that's real. That's incredibly ungerman.

[@broussard41]

Holy fuck ... what Tim said about marriages needing just enough money to keep it going, not too little or too much. Nailed it.

[@kevinveloso3387]

This is fucking ridiculous. I can't believe he's just literally talking off the dome. So funny. So dark. The comedian for our zeitgeist.

[@UniMatrix_1]

Yes

[@pinupsquirrel7980]

Ending 2022 listening to this episode, after eating Whataburger in a small Texas town. God bless.

[@yanquiufo7113]

That was very esoteric of you

[@fillyourlifewithferenc5567]

Around the 14-minute mark when Tim was talking about his parents divorce, the dining room table, and what he was about to start doing the age of 13 really hit home. We all really need to focus on what matters not bickering over the small stuff.

[@anniemal9312]

Arguably, his peak performance.

[@TheB00tyWarrior]

The great thing about Tim Dillon, is he not only tears himself and the world down. He actually tears you down too. My favorite reality check.

[@lukewojdylo9241]

It's 2021. Tim looks exactly the same. Ben looks like he's gone through a divorce. Bless that man.

[@christopherrobbin847]

This is the shit they should play in elevators

[@infinite9100]

Tim predicted covid, BLM riots, and the storming of the capital “things are coming” However, he was wrong about one thing. I sure am happy I’ve been high through it all

[@vincentkc48]

Amen

[@sublimelove23]

nothing but bong rips and quietly working my office job this whole pandemic, still havent got sick but got a great new used car in 2020 and a big raise this month, life in the big city baby

[@theboyslovemovies]

@@sublimelove23 gang

[@Sniperboy5551]

@Gabriel Valles “new used car” sounds like an oxymoron, but I know what you’re saying lmao

[@inspir.edmusic]

@@Sniperboy5551I just put on a new used condom!

[@moodyangel]

I heard someone once say "Disneyland/World is for people who are too stupid to plan a vacation" and that's always how I've seen it.

[@jhart1127]

Or with a young kid 🤷‍♀️ I dunno, yeah there's plenty of other places to go but you pop a baby out you gotta know dark times are ahead.

[@jflanagan9696]

5 grand for a week waiting in lines and overpaying for everything.

[@Attmay]

Even I can do that. It is really not that hard.

[@user-bu7gl1kz3j]

Ginger demon when referring to Mark Zuckerberg is so accurate 😂

[@hawaiian_hugo_stiglitz7583]

Tim is the greatest Orator in Human History.

[@gibsonflyingv2820]

One thing I'm stunned no commenters here have mentioned, is the wikipedia page regarding all the injuries, accidents and scandals at Disney world. I know I'm years late, but the information is out there and Tim nailed it once again, an endless list of horrible things have occurred, one of those Disney character actors in costume even groped a women, sick stuff, but still pretty funny.

[@pierrex3226]

Statistical inevitability that is. Although you can be sure Disney is hoping they can get robots to replace staff: no healthcare, no groping, no passing out, better margins, 24/7 shows. Basically the T1000 in a Mickey costume.

[@brandonnelson94]

We’ll miss you Ben )’:

[@sevski]

He dead or just fired?

[@skinsweatshirt]

@@sevski dead

[@kevinblue1976]

@@sevski he decided to leave. He started his own podcast with his brother and Devan it’s called Lemon party and it’s hilarious

[@jakeobryan12obryan32]

He was fired he confirmed

[@jakeobryan12obryan32]

@@kevinblue1976 he was fired he messaged me

[@paulfroelich1024]

I will never stop being thankful for my folks making it work.

[@brianlewis1372]

We had 911 and Alex Jones. Now the kids have Tim Dillon and Epstein.

[@ppb8931]

We still have Alex Jones

[@jsp7218]

In this analogy is Epstein the new 9/11?

[@jyo9735]

Tim and COVID

[@jyo9735]

@@espasuperiorprivado9491 Shitting on comments retroactively lol

[@TT-ff3nt]

‘I will finish what you started’

[@ethanweaver8757]

I listen to this once a month just because it’s my favorite episode

[@retarteddwarf2182]

Tim Dillon: A guy who even Splash Mountain couldn't fix.

[@kyle777]

This episode aged extraordinarily well.

[@GracieKiller660]

I have watched this so many times and it still puts me in tears. Tim is just next level

[@matthewtilly6513]

That Wix ad is insane

[@blakeunger4111]

I always come back to these old podcasts on the balcony with tim chain smoking... always the best

[@loislee2895]

I'm here for Tim's sales techniques. The adverts are arguably the best part.

[@MikeNel_Official]

This is an underrated episode

[@joypow9371]

This Episode Is A Hood Classic

[@luisalegria8634]

Lol " Will you shut the fuck up so those things will come over here " I'm dying.

[@snappingturtlehiddentiger6571]

*Atleast your dad didn’t have affair with the babysitter. My pastor of a father was screwing an underprivileged girl called Remi who didn’t have a screen door. Came to church to try and find a better life from her awful existence and Mr pillar of the community struck 1.2.3. Gross. My mum, the pastors wife was stoned, my brothers and I became heroin addicts and my baby brother is in jail for murder. Yep. Parents really F their kids up*

[@nikola7802]

Jesus

[@bmf6845]

"Just enough money to keep things going"...Tim Dillon is exactly right (and secretly the best)

[@nathanlaffargue3559]

Wix halfway through this video is the best ad I’ve ever heard in my life!

[@MattMillerRealComedy]

I just love seeing two guys hanging outside and talking and having a good time

[@shahada7235]

You are the best.....fan from kuwait

[@abdullaaldaihani927]

Shahad Another Kuwaity fan of Timmy like me i didn’t know they exist!

[@sandeepn94]

@@abdullaaldaihani927 I'm not even Kuwaiti but i love that you guys listen to uncle Tim

[@salmaal-shaibani6500]

Kuwait representing! Yes or yes?

[@puffball4484]

One of the best things that happened to me as a kid was my parents divorcing. I mean yeah I have severe abandonment issues but at least I didn't have to live with two people who literally hated eachothers guts.

[@nmeyers92]

Puff Ball yea i have the opposite issue. I’m the youngest, my brother is 10 years older then me, my sister is 13 years older then me... soo OBVIOUSLY I was NOT a planned baby. Neither was my sister. My parents got married because my mom got pregnant. Well my Dad left the wedding and my pregnant mom to go to a bar. They have despised each other for 38 years and still live together and will until they die. And when Tim said it’s always about money he is right. Not having money made them hate each other even more. I’ve never seen my parents kiss. I saw them hug in bed once accidentally. I live at home right now. My sister left at 20 and she was my alcoholic dad’s target. Once she left I became and still am the target. He is Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde. I wish that they had divorced. It truly destroyed mine and my brother’s lives. When I lived on my own for a couple years I was so much happier, yet I missed them still because they were great parents SEPARATELY. Together they are terrible and toxic. My dad was great growing up except when he drank and targeted me and my mom. I was always so scared as a kid that they would get divorced. Now as an adult I know they should have, but they didn’t have the money to. I’ve never had a loving relationship and I had a heroin addiction for 5 years. I don’t blame my parents but my childhood with them really sucked. Always so much tension and resentment. Last night he wished my mother and I would die and I’m good for nothing. Thank god I’m moving out soon but I’m afraid to leave my mom with him.

[@lazylion420]

tell me this isn't the most beautiful sunset you've ever enjoyed

[@andrewlaco1776]

That CBD ad proves Tim is our Tony Robbins.

[@robanderson1470]

Hess trucks as a retirement plan - didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

[@JustActNormal]

2 years in and Disney rant is better than ever lol

[@EchoesofaDistantTime]

This basically all happened to me too Tim. Divorced parents and the disney trip

[@anthonyrisola6144]

Tim ranks up there with Bill Burr when it comes to ad reads. Very entertaining.

[@F1986R]

Honestly, I haven't seen even 10% of Tim's work. A living legend

[@CJSteib]

welcome, maxime

[@rekon798]

"Friendliness is fear and desperation" lmfao Tim is a legend

[@davidmartin2631]

Thank you for your take on divorcing parents, Tim. My parents aren't divorced, but they often hate each other, and i routinely end up mediating. i never heard anyone describe it like this until now.

[@daddygarhart6900]

Those who miss the patio days tap in.

[@paulfroelich1024]

Same.

[@bobbyaxelrod5959]

Patio days are his magnum opus

[@TheKuinshi]

I need clips of the CBD AD, and the part where Tim is using splash mountain as a metaphor for life

[@escapedvivesectionist7011]

So good.

[@sincereflowers3218]

A timeless episode that actually literally creates Tim Dillon fans. My 16 year old gamer younger brother is now also the leader of a small options trading group in school and frequently gambles his fathers money away on bad options calls, puts, automatic ETF management, and meme stocks.

[@Celestethebestinthewest]

If it weren't for Tim Dillon, I don't know how how I could fall asleep.

[@portlandgoose4727]

This might be one of the greatest rants of all time

[@LunaCrossing]

When "It's all there!" becomes "It's got everything you need!"

[@1lmace_]

I'm so glad I didn't skip the ads, the WIX one is great

[@Wolfspiritzero]

"Friendliness is desperation and fear." This is why I don't trust anyone who tries way too hard to be nice.

[@pERKDIZZLE]

Tim is the president we deserve

[@igriesert8561]

Love your show man. It's awesome to hear comedy and also truth through the same lense. Someone willing to address the ugly shit we all see and feel but find the humor in it. It's an art for sure.

[@Djgom3312djshw]

Tim Dillion is my spirit animal!

[@edwardchowanes7716]

This is Top Tier Content. Each episode is better than the last. Great Stuff!!!

[@dilloncloonan1393]

This is arguably the best tim dillon episode. I think the history hyenas episode around 180 is the only episode that competes with this one. Maybe life in the big city