17. Don't be your ex's friend!

In this video Rory discusses why you should NEVER be friends with your ex, and how that can ruin the possibility of future re-attraction. Don't do it!
If you would like coaching on your situation please visit www.TheLoveChat.net/coaching
If you would like exclusive videos, giveaways, and private live-streams with Rory visit:
/ thelovechat

[@rdsieben]

Being friend-zoned will prevent you from getting back to your Ex romantically and prevent you from moving on.

[@Jmitez]

I made the mistake of accepting friendship when my ex dumped me and I just assumed I would “re attract her” and win her back. I was so blinded, we began texting again and talking over the phone for hours and there I was beginning to believe that I was just about to win her over until.... she broke it to me that she didn’t like me like that and just wanted to be good friends with me. Take their word for it when they say “just friends” and don’t hurt yourself! Move on

[@kattoo13]

My ex broke up with my via text, after almost 4 years. I went NC and he called me 4 days later apologizing. He even suggested we still go on our planned trip to Paris as “friends”. I told him I couldn’t remain friend, but I’m still going on the trip by myself.

[@jolie3706]

Walk away with dignity. Don't give your x the gift of your friendship but your absence ....Yes is what I always do then they start reaching me out pleading , begging and really depressed , but they didn't care enough to keep me , taking me for granted was a big mistake, why should I care now? No way 😉🤗. Rory you are the self worth , dignity and ❤chat awesome Man. Thank you for your wisdom.

[@buzluttyr]

Unfriend and block anybody on social media who breaks up with you. You could have been the best MAN or WOMAN to them and if they dumped YOU, it's their loss. LET. THEM. WALK. That means YOU were not that important. If you were not important then, why are you making them important to YOU now? When you're ready, find somebody who will make you a priority, not an option or convenience. They gave up the right to know what's going on in your life the day they broke up with you.

[@lindapautu6965]

I blocked him for good

[@blossomrepique]

Same i blocked him also

[@formangrilling111]

Needed this man, she left for no explanation after 4 years left me with the dogs and cars, just went back to her parents home. She’s already fucking people so this shits hard.

[@fari7535]

@Life Matter If he is using you and taking advantage then cutting him completely off your life is the best. No one deserves to be a doormat.

[@dimasavila9158]

They want the emotional tampon without the consequences of their actions.

[@rodrigo100kk]

Exactly. Never be friends with an ex.

[@theautodidacticlife6059]

When a woman tells me we can be friends. My response is generally "I already have friends that I'm close with. So no we can not be friends."

[@Antiimperialismo]

friends dont hurt us like that cuh

[@Julie-sw2ml]

but why though ?

[@georgespangler1517]

Why would you want someone that doesn't want you?

[@lindapautu6965]

no for me

[@seeya7610]

This is exactly what came into my mind today - why you care to help heal someone who doesn’t care about you and your emotions .

[@zaradezign8100]

Seriously tho When i first meet them and how things end is like witness talking to two different people. Which traumatized me

[@hawkkim1974]

very true. don't reward for this kind of shitty behavior. People saying we can be friend after break-up are usually quite abusive mentally, financially, and sexually too.

[@topsy_tamski]

So glad I watched this video. I was thinking about unblocking my ex on social media and becoming “friends” again, as I thought that would be a sign that I’m over the break up and not bitter about him breaking it off. However, after watching this video and other ones, I’ve realised that I don’t need him in my life, in fact, he doesn’t deserve to be in my life. I haven’t been properly single in a long time and I think it’s high time I really worked on myself rather than seeking validation from someone who didn’t love me enough to want to stay.

[@bellanirk6659]

Did you get better?

[@rdsieben]

When your ex breaks up with you she will always wants to be friends as a compromise. When my Ex suggested that, I walked away and went no-contact.

[@MrAbrupt]

Richard S did she ever reach out

[@Louie_777]

I hope I can be like you. . Coz it's hard to walked away.

[@cloudykohra7689]

Lol

[@mrtruthhurts2307]

I don't deal with my exes once they say let's be friends it means they don't want to be bothered anymore just delete they're number delete them on all social media outlets let them go the more you beg them the less respect they will have for you the best way to kill any ex is by simply leaving them alone silence is Golden

[@CameroneProductions]

"Don't help them through the breakup"... That's how it went for me. I told her I couldn't be friends with her but contact me if you change your mind... But then the tears and the "I miss you"s and the promises of rekindling started and I just was not strong enough. Took 3 months then she cut me adrift. If you're going to go down this path^ (and you should), you MUST be strong enough to really pull it off...! ¥

[@94jr94]

Hi, i did the same thing like you did! I was also not strong enough because she reached out to fast. But your ex said that she missed you + the promises of rekindling? Or you did it? What happened in those 3 months you said?

[@CameroneProductions]

Jens R - In that 3 months she kept coming to me upset and would sleep over, hinting at getting back together etc and I let it happen because I had hope. After that 3 months she got strong enough to walk and she did, leaving me to cope with the void. The pain is unbearable and I've had very dark thoughts. I hope you have better luck than me 💔

[@94jr94]

So, you were back together? How did she act during these 3 months (just like before)?

[@CameroneProductions]

Jens R - We weren't really back together. She was just coming around while she weaned off the relationship. Something to be careful of. It's just very hard when you still love and care about that person...and still have hope. But anyway, hope is gone now, and so is she 💔

[@94jr94]

I'm sorry to hear that, I wish you the best!

[@stormfalcon72]

Why would you accept friendship when it’s passion that you crave?

[@rc2487]

The longer I stay no contact with my Ex Girlfriend. It's easier for me to focus on myself and move forward. I have learned alot about the dynamics of women from your videos. Thank you so much for the words of wisdom and encouragement.

[@Americanpatriot-zo2tk]

I feel like I just wasted 19 months of my life on the young lady I was engaged to. She pulled the old I love you and I want to be friends. I considered it a betrayal! I don’t wanna be your friend, I wish you the best and now I don’t wanna see her or hear from her again.

[@Marty_Soundwerk]

Yep, been their friend, helped them through the breakup.... They found someone else and dismissed me. Lesson learned.

[@3chickenlegs]

You make it all so uncomplicated! “If you’re not in no contact… Then I would begin right away!” Lol.... He hit me up with I just want to be friends and catch up rubbish, I said no way I’m worth more than that... see ya! Thank you 💕

[@fuegoanghel7486]

My ex and I got back after no contact rule and yet after three months of being together again he broke up with me, I agreed to be his friend because he doesn’t have any close friend we still do the same routine we do except sleeping together . Then after three months he started seeing someone new he didn’t tell me but I figured it out.and because he thinks I’m his friend , he was open to tell me about the new one . I told him I am hurting and I don’t want to be involve anymore, he said he needs me in his life as a friend. I kept talking and hang out with him for another two weeks until I decided I should have self respect. Hopefully I will be strong to let him go fully as he had let me got for a long time .

[@Annamelese]

How are you doing?

[@fari7535]

He is a dbag! If he cares for you then he should know that you are hurting. It's very selfish of him to force you to be his friend. Block him sister!

[@thanyalak7908]

Cheer up . Ur ex is so selfish

[@DonteW]

I’ve been broken up with my ex girlfriend for about 3 months now and I like the way you interact with the viewer. You’re really helping me. I pray she comes back to me

[@samanthahouston2324]

Colt how are you?

[@DonteW]

Samantha Houston not good now. I got back with her almost right after I put this comment out. I did everything I could to make her happy. She still did the stuff I asked her not to do but I didn’t end it because I loved her. Things were going good until 3 weeks ago until she asked for the passwords to my social media. I told her if she trusted me then she doesn’t need them. She wanted them mainly because I’m a photographer and sometimes people ask me to take pictures of them and sometimes girls. She is a very jealous and insecure person that has bipolar disorder. She’s doesn’t look like a model but she makes me happy and that makes her the most beautiful person to me. She asked for four days straight and said if I don’t give them to her it’s over. The last day She started screaming, crying, and punching stuff because it made her that mad. Her parents got involved and it was a big mess. From what my she says her friends and family say I should give her the passwords. Before she ended it, I said fine and said I’ll give her to her. Her dad then said we should take that night away from each other and come back together when things have calmed down. I talked to her the next day and she said she’s done and doesn’t wanna continue with me anymore because I put her through too much. The only thing I really did wrong throughout the whole relationship of 2 years was talk to another girl but that’s it. And I told her I would never do it again and I haven’t. She couldn’t let that go and kept bringing it up a year after it happened. I’ve been trying my best to make it good for her. I even had a proposal planned out and I told her that but she said she doesn’t wanna date me ever again and said it was a mistake coming back to me. Today is her birthday and I can’t even say nothing to her. I lost the love of my life over some passwords and something I did a year ago. I feel like I won’t find anyone better that makes me as happy as she did despite the verbal abuse I went through. I just feel lost right now so yeah that’s it

[@samanthahouston2324]

Colt im sorry to hear that. just dont beat yourself up. know you are priority and know that you have an obligation to yourself about your work and be driven by your goals bc that what makes you a high value person. dont let them knock you off balance. feel it and heal it. forgive yourself and forgive for yourself. i know it is hard but you got this. i have been broken up for 4 months now and i hope to reunite and pray for it. i am also working on me by accomplishing some long overdue goals. sending you prayers for healing. maybe rory will do something on boundaries and include negotiables and and nonnegotiables. kind of like making a list of what you want in yourself and in a partner.

[@DonteW]

Samantha Houston thank you I will. I honestly just want her to change into a better person and come back or maybe God has someone totally better in mind

[@mikesetzer9379]

hey! So your story is mine as well! She was insecure and bipolar wanted my passwords and even had a GPS on my phone. I only had snapchat so she can video call me and see where I was. I'm a personal trainer and she always accused me of things. I talked to another woman nothing sexual but through texts a yr ago and she never really forgave me. We broke up 2 weeks ago and it is now her bday. I sent flowers and got back a thankyou text. Hope your ok man. Her and I were together for 2 years now

[@jaymean44]

I love this video! If ever I get an incy wincy bit tempted to contact my ex I listen to this video and it brings me back to reality! Move on is the best medicine. We all get a bit curious and tempted to just peak but this snaps me right back! ❤️

[@debbie5088]

Thank you for your advice. Staying best friends with my ex has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I don't want to be best friends right now. Being best friends is what you are when you have been in a committed relationship for a long time. I just want this whole thing to be over so I can move on with my life and be ready to be with someone who is not married or in a committed relationship.

[@mirarizqah]

Rory. Thanks for being alive and doing this. I've been binge watching all your videos and it helps me to find and love myself again. I remember I was a great strong women before I met him and i've lost myself thoughout our relationship. Its not only his mistakes, i blame myself as well.. I was a toxic partner and he was too.. I learned so much. And I hope I will be a better person and partner in the future.

[@weareone2854]

From reading a bunch of the comments, I will just say this: if you have expectations or a hidden agenda, if you don't have open communication, shared values regarding the importance of friendship (other than to "hold on" to memories or out of neediness) and no mutual plan, then you're just shooting yourself in the foot. How can you even do that and then expect it to work or expect them to change their mind? It doesn't work that way... and I'm someone who is actually friends with some of my exes, though not all. With one ex it was very easy. Literally no blackout period. No issues. Everyone was mature about it and the friendship made sense to both of us. Easy and no problems since. I see them and am also friends with her boyfriend. No issues. She's over me and she loves him and I have an awesome relationship as well now, so it's fine. With another it was harder and took some work and teamwork since we both agreed it's important and we respected each other's feelings and worked out a strategy (which by the way is not even a guarantee, so tread carefully and don't be naive to believe it's always going to work out: it's a crap shoot and it depends on the people involved and their motivations)---- so I have to say, while it was worth it in the end, it is a hard road of ups and downs and I can see why it's so much easier to just cut the cord. 100%. Our current friendship works because the friendship works. Not because it's an extension of the relationship. You end up having to try to work with a clean slate while paint is still being splashed around, so most of the time it is far from easy. So think carefully before you try this because it could just as easily go up in flames. It could also be that after you FINALLY end up making a friendship work, you end up drifting apart anyway... and all of that drama would have been for nothing anyway because what made the relationship "exciting" or "feel good" no longer exists in the friendship and is not realistic/feasible. This actually happens a lot more than you think LOL and then you kick yourself for wasting your time and theirs. So, again, be honest. Why do you want to be friends? You have to weigh all of the potential pain, drama and soul-sucking angst (as well as potential affects on new relationships) against what you actually gain, practically-speaking, and for goodness sake, if you have secret wishes, then know that you're only torturing yourself. Remember how many people are out there in the world. Do not seek things out of co-dependency or desperation or false hope. Never, ever do that please. And again, this is coming from someone who experienced both success and failure at this. Please take care of yourselves and take care of your own emotional, physical and mental well-being as your priority. If you feel STIFLED in life in ANY way by being associated with your ex (such as you have difficulty moving on or finding new relationships), you need to address this as your priority. It's your life. Just don't be a douche.

[@phoenixprotocol452]

Dam it hurts...…Accepting that they don't care about you while you can literally feel them drifting away into a stranger....my heart is still so full of love. jesus I don't wish this kind of suffering on my worst enemy. Its like drowning in air. I cant be her friend... it makes me feel like I'm insane. I know I have to cut her loose...this is definitely one of the hardest things a human can suffer. this kinda pain changes people...

[@nightmarenewbedfordenterta9851]

I could never go into friends zone with my x or my other xs especially my last one that i put my heart n soul into i well not be happy for her no matter what the cost.

[@bskdad318]

Ex came back after 3 months and she wants to friend zone me. Realizing they are breadcrumbing me all the way. I told her I love you and the kids, but I can’t be friends. I wish you the best, and I’ve walked away again for a week. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I’ve referred to this video several times to pull me back into reality. Thank you Rory! Appreciate you and your advice and I wish I found you earlier instead of listening to the Brad Browning bullshit among others!

[@PaganMinn]

I went Into no contact as soon as I talked to my ex fiance the second time after our break up. Maybe 4 days later. After pouring my heart out and making a fool of myself. She said I can only see us as friends. A relation ship of 5 years with a 6 month old daughter and she thought I'd somehow bow down to that. That was the day I started no contact. Its 2 weeks later and I only txt her when it involves me picking up my daughter.

[@lukeylukeluke2]

Any update?

[@damianooi8261]

My ex told me she is getting married this year, wanting to be friends and keep in touch with me. But i told her its unfair for her fiance/husband. Then she claimed that her fiance/husband allowed her to talk to me. So i just wished her all the best and told her to not to contact me anymore. In the end , i blocked her

[@Troylifenumber5]

My boy, Buddy, sent me your way. Going through a breakup currently. Very insightful and motivational stuff

[@Medehaneyalem27]

I love it!! You said don't be friends with you ex! don't help an ex through a break up wow that's AMAZING that right there just changed my every thought about everything it did something good to me wow wow wow....I love it! You're awesome!😍 thank you so very much!!!❤

[@uttamprakash4309]

You are the best coach Larry. Thank you for the video. You are helping me alot. I was broken from within when she left me, I felt rejected and I decreased my self esteem by pleading to her. Now I'm following your advices..

[@luiggiibanez]

Rory*

[@JackieisOk]

My ex got mad after I rejected her offer to be friends and stay in contact without intentions. She blocked me lol

[@justinadams3651]

Duuuuude exactly what happened to me a few days ago! I said I couldn't be friends after 2 yrs of being together and she exploded and blocked me on all social media the next day!

[@formangrilling111]

Justin Adams any news?

[@hwdareu5848]

I did the mistake of breaking the no contact of 7 days ago 2 months after she broke up with me and I befriended her. About a week ago I asked her if we can work out the things to which she got angry and used harsh words on me... I didn't beg or plead...I politely told her to reach out when she change her mind and I broke off the friendship connection. We were together for 4 good years.

[@minishaaa__]

Same situation with me

[@lukeylukeluke2]

Any update?

[@mzeye]

Love this channel. This is better than therapy

[@VersatilePrincess95]

I love that sarcasm at the start but underlying encouraging meaning and reminders :)

[@seangee143]

Break ups are never easy because feelings and love is involved. However, being friends after a breakup is like rewarding them through the process which then leads to emotional attachment. When you break up with someone and try and be friends - even setting boundaries will be broken because emotions are there still - they don’t go away over night / a month or even a few months. But then when you start seeing someone else - how is your ex (your new friend) really your friend when your new person is supposed to be in that spot! The whole “ let’s be friends “ bs is a simply a way to help people cope with the breakup - it’s the easy way out and a easy way back in when shit don’t work out with other people.

[@tellysantos2392]

i told her when she said we can be friends, i told her i thought & felt we always was friends...

[@marcyallison5996]

You are absolutely right.

[@myrahouse2368]

Damn I think my X put me into the friend zone without me knowing it, he began fading me out, no physical stuff, less snogs etc. We messaged each other every day, bread crumbed I believe. He stood me up became flaky radically over weeks. I called him out on his distancing behaviour, I got the ‘I’m not sure what I want, I need time’ 😬😳 I’ve left .... eventually but I believe he’s loooong gone 🙁 My last plea was sad and it was clear I was disappointed but I never begged or cried etc. But he was flaky in the past and called him out all in all to often but he lead me on with the things I needed to hear.

[@lauraionescu2838]

Update ? Has he reached out ?

[@NamiSwaminathan]

Your ex is an ex for a reason. Never ever go back to someone who hurt you. If you go back, you will get hurt again. Consider they are died and move on.

[@tommyornothing7301]

I’ve been watching your videos for the past two years. He dumped me two years ago and he actually came back...after I moved on. Just give it time...you will get over him/her. I did!

[@bricort1236]

I was dating this guy for about a month that had just gotten out of a relationship a few months back and was still dealing with his ex bc she was suing him. Out of nowhere He told me he was too stressed and didn't want to keep trying anymore. He told me we could still be friends on social media but we couldn't talk to each other bc he didn't want to lead me on. I told him no thanks and said if he changes his mind give me a call. After that I removed him from everything. Thanks to this video I feel great. We have a mutual friend so if he cares enough to know he can ask her what's going on with me while I'm over here living my best life :p

[@Kat74770]

What happened? Did he call u?

[@kemardavis4459]

"People that's the best advice ever" listen to Rory... My year's of experiences in relationships if you are friends with your ex I can tell you that they'll call you, whenever they or their rebound relationship has ended.... I know this simply because I was friends with my ex and every time I know when she's in another break up she always calling saying she's depressed etcetera etcetera... till one of the time I ended up back in a friends with benefits relationship with her it's ongoing till I decided to let her go for good... DON'T BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX if you want to be back in a romantic relationship they will call you when they do, don't miss out on your opportunity to make things right....

[@monicamunoz7628]

Just followed your advice. We had an amazing relationship full of plans together, then after first fight he started pulling away until there was nothing left for me to hold on. Two months after the breakup he asks to meet, we catch up but dont talk about the relationship, then he start texting me with silly things and also asks me to help him understand the value of our past relationship, he doesn't know if it was out of loneliness. I said I cant help him to figure out his past or present feelings, he needs to find out by himself but as I do have feelings, Im not going to be here again to fill someone's emptiness or void. It hurts me, a lot, because getting those silly messages from him gave me a false sense of closeness, but I want someone next to me for the right reasons. I hope Ive done the right thing... Any thoughts anyone?

[@sweetie291981]

I did want him in my life no doubt.. but now we’re not on speaking terms ,,it’s been three months.. yeah I won’t reach out,, just moving on.

[@evelyngarcia6726]

3days after he broke up with me he wants to be friends - i said exactly what this video say. Thank you rory this is not easy to do but i know it will help me alot and raise my value

[@kispumel]

Ex: "I hope we can be on good terms" Me: "If it means we are drinking champagne naked in the tub, then sure!"

[@evies_mommy_84]

Mine tried to introduce the friendship option, to which I said I could never just be friends. Then he said it could potentially become more again. And now we're married. I'm glad I told him right away that friendship wasn't going to happen.

[@imbonnie]

Shouldn't be your "lover" if you aren't married. How bout just actually be a good friend to them while you're dating. If you want more and you're compatible get married. Keep things in the right order from the beginning so you can skip the drama.

[@Kymv8382]

My ex definitely wanted this. Didnt wanna see me but would keep reaching out to me every few days to chat. I ended that shit after 2-3 times of it and told her not to contact me again unless they wanted to hangout. What does it mean when they sort of get pissy about that and say something like "fine, next time I wont hit you up just to talk". I replied in a playful , light hearted way and left it at that. Also, I think they went back to their ex of 2 years (3rd or 4th time they've tried at this point LOL). Part of me kinda feels like I pushed her to him by telling her not to talk to me unless she wanted to hangout but what else was I supposed to do? It's been 3 weeks since we had that conversation. So idk

[@ctham1017]

rambo god ..leave it at that. My ex tried to “friend zone “ me and I shut that down immediately . Friendship is earned and not something that is given. If she wants to be in your life she will make every effort. If she doesn’t it’s her loss.

[@lauraionescu2838]

Update ? Has the ex reached out since ?

[@Kymv8382]

@@lauraionescu2838 Haha. Nah. Fuck her. I’ve long since moved on. Happily engaged and living with my beautiful fiancé . That ex is not even a thought anymore

[@margomazzeo1680]

My ex bf..just liked my post online..Im not gonna be their friend..or lover..nooo

[@ASPAseethrough]

My ex reached out via email (only place where she’s not blocked yet). “ohhh I saw you blocked my number what a pity” No reply from my side, enjoy the absence because what you had is lost and never coming back…

[@someguy9520]

What about this: You did no-contact for a good amount of time and stuck to it. But you met someone diffrent and maybe even started to date. Let's say you were good friends with your ex before you started to date. Can you be so confident and over the relationship, that you can appreciate your ex as a person and a simple friend? Yes, they dumped you and hurt your feelings really badly, but if you're truly over that and are living a happy life without a romantic relationship with your ex, then could you simply be just friends again?

[@dedoodle1643]

Well... It takes awhile to get them out of your system. Remember the fact that an ex can say they are 100% you and in a new relationship just to break the newer relationship because they were still hung over their ex.

[@pathofclouds85]

I made this mistake and I will regret it forever

[@elliejohns8895]

You have the power to end it and that's what i did and im soo relieved rn

[@roseiswine8294]

Even tho my EX and I work at the same place, NC was easy 😁. I completely understand what emotions the other party is feeling during this time...42 days later and he has a death in the family...I was very cold...Then he wanted to discuss the break up...I entertained him all of 15 mins and of course he didn't like my responses.. I reminded him that HE insisted we have the discussion, then I went back to no contact...I ONLY communicated at work and that was limited to work discussions...He would call or text me outside of work and I wouldn't respond 🤓... It's been 3 YEARS and he came to my work station to tell me he still loved me, missed me, and can't stop loving me.. I gave him a blank stare , then HE walks away....🙄...I guess he thought telling me this stop the emotional drought I put him in...Nope..I created more distance and he's mad...I decided a while ago that he will always be on the outside looking in...The level of betrayaI is irreparable. I gave him the gift of my absence forever and I'm so happy I did...😉

[@rizen9457]

Love this

[@ansargalleryrayyan4139]

Me and my ex had talked about friendship. The he blocked me in Facebook. I felt like 😳. After 1 week, he followed me in Instagram and I saw his photo with his g.f. To respect myself, I blocked him in Instagram. I don't need to live my life in confusion. And besides I felt comfortable in reaching out my past.

[@seeya7610]

Best explanation and video so far on KZbin on this topic .

[@rubyray777]

My ex during the break up (I had to live with him for next few mths til I could afford to leave) said we could be Elaine and Jerry from Seinfeld. I told him no. If we can't be together and get along as a couple, how can we be friends? I guess I did the wrong thing by blocking him on everything if I wanted him back; but during the heat of everything, I told him I didn't want him to ever contact me again. Wrong moves. I think about him constantly now and everything. It sucks but I keep trying to put myself first, workout, eat right, etc. Hopefully, eventually, I will have my confidence back and self worth. It's really hard. But I must go on. It's been about 4 mths since break up and 1 mth since I moved out.

[@tonyrossi3814]

I went into NC after she said she just wanted to be friends, 7/27. I told her that’s not what I wanted. She texted me after 9 days asking if I wasn’t talking to her her, 8/6. I told her I would love to see her and talk to her, but I wasn’t interested in being just friends going forward. She said that’s all she had to offer so “I guess we won’t be friends, bye.” Today is 9/10. By the way this is my ex wife who I stayed friendly with for years, but we got close again from March-June. We spent most days together and spent the night together in the same bed 5x (no intimacy). I got the cheek most times with hug, but nothing else. She was well aware I wanted her, because I told her that. She said she wasn’t there yet. Anyhow, should I stay in NC?

[@corde1517]

Only if I knew then what I know now, I'm using no contact now but it may be too late, she's in the arms of another man... I try not to beat myself up but it's true

[@TheLoveChat]

Not necessarily. Sometimes it is a rebound relationship but there is no way to know for sure. Best thing you can do is focus on what you have control over, and begin changing your life for the better!

[@danielwilliamson7158]

Same but having this time away has opened my eyes all the signs leading up to we can be friends. We learn from it and heal and move forward go NC & dont look back they dont deserve your friendship

[@veronicasubliminals5704]

But what to do if I already agreed to be his friend and now I don't want it anymore? I mean I wish him well, I'll say hi to him if I see him on a street but I don't feel like chatting with him late night when he's sick and he panics about his fever and I'm a pre med student, that's why he feels secure having me around at that time, I don't feel like picking up phone from him, I don't feel like talking to him when he has new naive girl he's telling the same bullshit he used to tell me, how much he loves me and wants me forever only to tell me he's not feeling it anymore after 3 months and only because I reached out and said Hi there's something wrong with our relationship after he was acting different and making other bitches priority when he had no time for me. He hurt me, I loved him, he claimed to love me too, but If it was for that, he wouldn't do what he has done. Everytime I talk to this jerk (or he talks to me because I hardly ever reach out) I feel all of these crapy emotions again. This is time to cut it loose. But how to do it since we have been in this friends situation?

[@lisawest2637]

I was dumped but I kind of suggested friendship at some point. I regret saying that because it feels like the no contact I'm doing will be ineffective. It's been 3 three weeks nc. What can I do?

[@UltraGC_]

I did the exact same thing, any updates?

[@chandantaneja6388]

I liked how you summed up. I have been watching other youtubers also but I really want to say that Your video is a total package ❣️👏 What I learnt by watching 20+ videos you summed up that in just once. thanks 🙏 god bless you

[@jadenbeauchamp8836]

My ex told me if we work on ourselves now maybe in the future we can talk about being in a relationship I agreed and it backfired I got emotional and shit. I can’t be friends with an ex whom I still have feelings for. I told her how I felt about her and it completely backfired I did it more than once and she told she felt overwhelmed it pissed her off. Now I gotta fall back and let go because she doesn’t want me like that. My ex doesn’t care so no contact will not work. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. Ima fearfully avoidant I love closeness but then I get so cold and detached if shit doesn’t go a certain way I hate it I have to work on myself I know that I don’t want to be like this forever

[@Louie_777]

True.. but it's hard.. thanks for all your videos. God bless

[@juan_pwn]

I remember vividly that my ex said about caring me so much, but during our break we couldn’t manage to make it through the month and broke up. Now I’m questioning a bunch of things. I’m well aware that she would care if we were still together. But there was an endless cycle of her and I having breakdowns. So would I have the right to think that she doesn’t truly care if I couldn’t make the changes during the relationship? I wouldn’t want to think that I’m just being ignorant

[@Louie_777]

Thank you for making up my mind...

[@ness-lu6pl]

My ex said let’s be friends after he dumped me ..... I replied no thanks I’ve got enough friends already I don’t need anymore . Days before he dumped me he said to his friend out the blue don’t you think she’s beautiful she’s so beautiful his friend was like yes she is with a confused face.......... I thought that was a weird thing to say . anyway I moved away so he don’t no where I live also he hasn’t got any of my media’s When he bumps into my friends he always asks how I’m doing . My heart is beyond broken he was the love of my life .

[@pauloaussie222]

I'm going to see my ex tomorrow, she said she bought a present for me. After 3 months and I did no contact but she still kept contacting me and seen me on my work place. I kinda opened for her to think we are friends and she thought is for real but tomorrow I'll have to say the truth, that I'm not comfortable with the situation and I think is better if we are just "Friendly Hi friends" and If she changes her mind about us so then she contacts me, if not too late.

[@bellanirk6659]

My ex I dumpted a month ago. And then did no contact then a couple days ago we met and kinda talked about it he said: “I want to be single for a month and work on myself” (wouldn’t go a break) he wants no commitment and on tinder for “causel stuff “ he said after the next month and he will 70% want me back not a good FEELING and I said NO thanks

[@jeremiepineda7698]

Omg! So i said that to my ex few months ago after he ghosted me 🤦‍♀️😂😂😂. But i started no contact right after. Omg.

[@JohnDL212]

This one was VERy good. Thank you!

[@trevorthespaghettifox]

My ex kept messing me for awhile about his belongings and his mail (we used to live together) and he would space the conversation out like Him :hey did you get any mail for me? Me: of course I did Him: ok Him 2 weeks later: hey, when can I pick up my mail? Like if it was important why wait so long? And he commented on a fb post that had nothing to do with him. if he wants me out of his life why won't he leave me alone?

[@anyabazarkulova.j2747]

never! ewwwwww

[@margomazzeo1680]

U just saved my life..thanks..xo 💝🎈

[@Louie_777]

I watched all your videos. Thank you for encouragement. . I really need it badly..

[@cocotheblackcat3209]

Hi rory thank you. I told my ex i dont want to be his friend. To be honest, he just confused me and my anxiety came back. So i told him exactly what you said about give me call, if he ignores me then, as you said I have a high value so i will continue moving on.

[@allisonbrown7037]

I'm just going to leave him alone I'm not going to send him flowers

[@JohnnysGarage]

what if she broke up with me because she is having the grass is greener syndrome, and is really confused about what she wants, she says she cares for me but i was her first date/kiss/etc. so she wants to explore her options i guess. what to do?

[@kravez16]

THEkrazyBOY2596 women never know what they want but if you study female psychology you would know that the more you ignore them and don't chase the more they will come running to you, they want validation all the time once they can't get that anywhere else she'll come running back to you, just focus on yourself and go to the gym ect better your life and she will eventually see this and want to get back with you this will take afew months so you need to be strong, always put yourself first when you were the one that's dumped never put them first that's my rule Anyway good luck my dude.

[@3_devashishaldar863]

I told what u said in the video that directly tell her, after sometime se posted a story telling that we all broke our own rules for someone

[@salmamagdy4646]

needed this, feeling empowered

[@dailylifeactivities472]

She calls me regularly.. We talked as usual..she holds all the power...so last night i told her i want to marry you,if you think yes then call me.if you think no then don’t call me...is that the right move??

[@kc2914]

Yes! THAT WAS PERFECT!

[@allisonbrown7037]

I am in no contact as long as it takes for him to reach out

[@FM-zg5hz]

Any update?

[@cloudykohra7689]

My ex and I are currently bestfriends bc were already best friends before we dated lol

[@suvarnabhide6495]

Did staying friends work for you?

[@ReghalMihn]

Suzie I need to know this too

[@salmamagdy4646]

same but i hate it, how's that working out?

[@KevinGarcia-cs4ve]

My ex said she rather have me as a friend than an enemy idk what that means exactly

[@zacharylover61]

well my ex tells me this a lot, we have mutual close friends so see/contact each other every day, broke up like 4 times :D and first 3 times i didnt let him to be my friend, he was always complaining about how hostile i was being at him but i actually wasnt. i was just being colder than i used to be when we were together. they dont wanna be threated in that way because they dont want to be in charge of the thing they have done. now i'm being close and friendly at him and he is just being much more daring, rude and cold to me and i am now aware of that being friendly is giving a gift to them to break up with us. i am not gonna do this anymore, not gonna be rude, not gonna be an enemy but not gonna be friends either, will not contact in group untill he contact me, and will not be sincere as i was when he contacts me because he has the relief of that while not in the relationship i still be sincere with him. this is a big mistake and i have to turn this around, i have to take the control and stand up for myself. i will reccomend the same for you

[@darlingil5072]

This is so true. So very true.

[@DeepPoeticSociety]

Should I send a message letting her know I don’t want to be friends?

[@patriciaandjudgey1442]

my ex doesnt even wanna be friends however he said we could F and that's about it ...SMH I CRIED 2 days

[@wdavis03855]

What if we work together? She broke up with me and asked to still be friends I told her no unless its an intimate friendship. She said dont give me an ultimatum so I said talk to me when you want to hang out and do what we used to do which includes intimacy. So everyday when we come to work she speaks to me do I ignore her to go no contact or do I speak?

[@Jmitez]

How’d it go with her??

[@peachblossom.phlox3403]

I have the same situation. Did anything end up happening between you guys?

[@wdavis03855]

She still calls me for sex but we not together and I don’t want her. Truth be told ignoring her and not calling is the best solution.

[@conversationswithleo8389]

My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago, her birthday is coming up in 3 weeks. I've already had gotten her a gift before, I've been doing no contact. Should I get in touch in 3 weeks to meet her to give her the gift? Or should I just forget about the gift and give it to someone else or even bin it?

[@DailyServers]

@the love chat it’s been over five months we have a baby on the way she told me today she wants to be friends and she keeps going on about it I said to her if you want to be friends ok but I said that because of the baby I want to be there a lot for my daughter have I done the right thing ?

[@allisonbrown7037]

I never asked him what his favorite flower is anyway

[@user-uv9se2gv6b]

I’m in a bit of a weird situation where my ex’s (who dumped me) mum has been keeping in touch with me, asking me how I am and giving me advice. I doing no contact with my ex but not sure if contacting her mum still is counterproductive, just don’t want to be rude to her mother.

[@rrbungapertiwi0746]

what if i am the toxic person and the other had left? and he just want to be a friend. and i really want to show change using a friendship. wdyt?

[@nikstar1313]

Wicked work again Rory. 1. Omg I have been an idiot in the past when I have broken it off and an ex wanted me back (him-anxious attachment) but I actually supported him through OUR breakup 🤣🤣🤷‍♀️🙄🙄 How ridiculous am I? Ok, 2. So, excuse my confusion bc I’ve always been one to be mates with an ex after a lonnnnng time has passed. What about if it was an amicable break up due to conflicting values, say.... and yearrrrrrrrs later, both feeling indifference about the sexual part of the relationship that didn’t work in the past but still care for each other as a human being and friend... is it appropriate to still be there for each other from time to time to help each other out eg he asks me about work contacts and I ask him about digital recording issues.. no flirting at all, just friendship. I’d love to hear your honesty about if I should be doing this still (is it healthy) my good INFJ friend Rory? xxx

[@Walteramirez]

I hear ppl always say “I married my best friend” so could it be possible for friendships to evolve into relationships?

[@TheLoveChat]

Its possible!

[@seeya7610]

All those start with friendship first and progress later not back paddle .

[@michaeljackson7361]

I been here for last 3 months. I'm done with her. My friends don't treat me like her evil ass. I'm gone

[@kablemonkee]

My wife moved out 2 months ago, but still wants to date me. Sex is part of the equation...just not nearly as often as when we lived together. We generally get together once a week. Should I just tell her that it isn't enough for me and tell her to move forward with the divorce, or...?

[@devgrublacksquadron2089]

Hey Rory, if an ex girlfriend came back after a year apart of No contact and wanted to be just kind of friends things than... Would it be sounds like little creepy to start saying "I love u n adore you and can't be friends like you still hoping for them after year apart.what would be the perfect reply to value yourself ?

[@TheLoveChat]

Focus on re-attraction and being playful, rather than "love" right now. If you say that word, your ex will run for the hills. Set a date, don't talk about the relationship (Don't break this rule!), have fun, hook up!

[@zakajadi2744]

I’ve got a question, what if you’re civil with your ex meaning you’re not friends but you’re on good terms with them after the breakup. So basically my ex broke up with me but before we got together we had a fwb situation going on & now after the breakup I basically just call her if I’m looking to hookup & chill. But I don’t do those long FaceTime calls I did while I was back in the relationship. Does that still count as being friends with your ex?

[@gbalo241]

easier said than done ten years i was with my spouse we are friends but than she wants to be with me than not its confusing than she slept with men i slept with woman i really would rather be with her even tough i know shes no good