Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The "Friend Zone")

www.BreakupBrad... - Should You Be Friends With Your Ex?
This is a question that I get asked all the time. It's really easy to be friends with your ex. After all, it's better than nothing, right? However, this usually isn't the best route to go if you actually want to get your ex back.
The first reason why you shouldn't be friends with your ex is because it prolongs recovery. You need to move on after your relationship, and you can't do that if you're still friends with your ex.
The second reason is that you need to make your ex miss you. You won't be able to do this if you're still around your ex all the time. In order for them to miss you, you need to vanish! Just disappear off their radar.
Let's talk about science for a second... relationships and breakups are kind of like drug addiction. Seeing your ex again is like having a hit of a drug -- and it's addicting. In order for your ex to miss you, you need to stop seeing your ex, cold turkey. That will make your ex miss you more.
The final reason is that you don't want to become their emotional dumping ground. You don't want to be their "breakup friend"... you want to be their lover, right? That is not helpful at all.
Need some help with your situation? You can sign up for my 1-on-1 coaching service here: www.BreakupBrad...
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[@thecowboy9698]

Being friends with your ex doesn't work.

[@BradBrowning]

That's right.

[@john7715]

The Cowboy 3 years ago I ended a long term relationship with a guy who is now my best friend and like a brother to me

[@hectorruiz6104]

Sammi did you know befriending exes is a trait mostly shown by narcissists and psychopaths....

[@sadboi2572]

The Cowboy my ex called me his Bestfriend..😐 I was confused 😭

[@frankanonymous3766]

I totally agree with you. Befriending with your ex is just dumb.

[@BradBrowning]

Yep. :-)

[@peppermintcookie5531]

I mean, why would they say that to you? Won't they think that you'll get hurt more if you become friends with them and be stuck in the "friendzone" or "friends w/ benefits"?

[@josworld6211]

yea very true😓

[@amberlamperouge716]

they seem dumb and selfish

[@akshaybiswas9461]

What if your ex is ur best friend?

[@jemilyneclaire7248]

Your girlfriend is probably the luckiest girl on earth since you know a lot about relationship. Thanks a lot for all the advice :)

[@BradBrowning]

+Jemilyne Claire You meant my wife, right? :-) Thanks!

[@nitengng5652]

Jemilyne Claire yes

[@nitengng5652]

true..

[@maggygonzee9012]

@@BradBrowning Hey Brad what if you have kids together, and you need to keep taking the child there??Oh and what if he already come asking for you to get back in a week or so?Is that legit or not to be trusted?

[@RitaBeezy-xw5mr]

In my quizz, I stated that we had daily contact, but this is over a yr later. We didn't have any contact at all for over a month. Then we gradually got started talking again. Now we talk or text about every day, but sometimes it might be a week before we actually see one another. We have never talked about relationships with someone else to each other.

[@nickfrosttotoro]

What Brad is saying is absolutely true. That's what happened to me when I tried to stay friends with my ex after 7 months passed of being apart ( he was dating someone else when I wanted to get back ) so making them miss you is the key.

[@BradBrowning]

Thank you for the support, Sercan! :-)

[@michellelohde8683]

@@BradBrowning my ex girlfriend getting to her girlfriend why she want be me part of wedding what I do ?????????.

[@victorpinili6367]

I love this channel just because he actually cares! There's so many times i've seen a comment with his reply just below it. You're a wonderful man Brad!

[@BradBrowning]

Although not always on a timely manner as I've been very very busy recently. haha Anyway thank you for your support, I truly appreciate it! :-)

[@KimHenriksen.]

Hello can you help me!! My mom left my dad one month ago because she don't love my dad any longer. My dad has done no contact because he loves her and want her to come back. My mom want dad in the friend zone and she is texting and calling my father every day to see what he doing and she gets angry when his not response and texting angry and coming to our house. What can my father do?? he wants my mom to move back but my mom will not! He loves her very very much please help!!

[@BradBrowning]

Hi Kim! You may be too young to handle this. Perhaps share my videos to your parents or your dad? This link in particular: kzbin.info/www/bejne/hl6ZfoCjorSVmbM

[@KEETHZERO0368]

Brad Browning should I tell My Ex I don’t want to be friends before I disappear?

[@tylermitchell.420]

My now ex-girlfriend and I broke up earlier today. She’s the one who ended the relationship, and she got more emotional than I did. But before we started dating, we were really close friends ever since we were kids. I mean, I’m not gonna go into extreme details, but as friends, we were both always there for each other during our some of our hardest times when we were younger, we always talked out our problems with one another, etc. And hell, that was just us as friends; we were just very close and supportive of each other like that. But her and I really don’t want to throw all of that away😓. Is it still a bad idea to stay friends with her?

[@BradBrowning]

It is a bad idea. You both need to heal first. You both have to process the breakup first and go through all that pain and slowly let go of the bad memories...It is a process, but this is what the "no contact" rule is for, to help both of you move forward from that pain. A reconciliation with an ex means there will be a new relationship between you two where the lessons of the past are taken into consideration in order to resolve it to create a better relationship in the future. Does that make sense? Give your ex time to let go of the bad memories, however, this won't happen overnight and for sure takes time, so don't rush. Follow the tips on my other vids, especially this one: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fH3IgWSbh6ieec0 Good luck!

[@complicated-piece-of-human9197]

God bless the girl who told me to search your videos

[@BradBrowning]

:-)

[@emilyjean2461]

You said everything I needed to hear.

[@nyakhanchap2094]

I took this advice and stopped being friends with my ex. I’m the kind of person who tries to make things a bright story but I’m so happy I didn’t stay friends with him :) I’m happier now than when I was in a relationship even.

[@BradBrowning]

That's good to know!

[@vishalsahay483]

Hi Brad, I am a gay man. Me and my bf broke up a month ago but he has been contacting me for a while. We play volleyball in the same sports complex and one evening he just came all of a sudden and gave me a hug surprisingly to which I gave a very cold reaction because I was shocked. He wanted to catch up on dinner but he canceled it because of my cold reaction on volleyball court. I somehow met him for coffee and apologized for my cold behavior but I also told him that I cannot be "just friends" with him because it's hurtful. He was crying a lot and said that he wants me in his life but I told him that I won't stay as just friends. Me and my bf are taking this week to think whether we want to be with each other or not and will be meeting on Saturday for dinner to express our decisions. If he says no, I will stop all contact with him. Do you have any suggestions for me?

[@BradBrowning]

Basically give yourselves time first. Based on your story, I don't think you both went without contacting each other yet? That should be a priority, instead of confusing yourselves more by meeting up and stuff. For the meeting itself, this should help: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gJOooK1uZs6hY7M

[@vishalsahay483]

Hi Brad, we met and he decided that he doesn't want to be with me because he thinks we are incompatible. I told him that if we can't be together in a relationship then we can't be friends as we both need time to heal and move on. Since then, we haven't been in contact at all. It has been two weeks. DO you think I still have a chance to have him back? I am not sure if he will contact me. I really love him :(

[@maximilionpegasus2657]

Brad, I have a complicated one. my ex and I were together all throughout high school. we talked about marriage, kids, a life together. I recently moved a state over due to a nasty divorce between my mother and father. she promised she'd come and visit since I was so far away. she worked and I made music for a living. In her free time, she started to not respond to my messages for days and always hung with her friends and never wanted to spend any time with me so I ended it. she didn't even really care and started throwing tons of things in my face like not being there for her when I always was and was one of the only ones there. she recently started smoking weed and drinking alcohol with her coworkers and has become an entirely different person. she used to be down to earth and loved talking to me and spending time together when we could. Now, the only time she messages me is when I message her first. I miss her so much and love her more than anything. she tells me she "Loves me in a romantic way but never wants to date me again" but she wants to be friends. what do I do? I'm very confused and need some advice. any reply would be appreciated. thanks.

[@BradBrowning]

Hey man, sorry to hear about the breakup and the situation with your parents. From the looks of it, both of you are having a hard time adjusting to this distance. How long have you been in this long distance dynamic? I say to give yourselves the chance to both adjust to this change, since it's a major one. Cut off contact and let her miss you first, all right? The distance may have frustrated her which caused her to act up since thinking about being in a long distance relationship is very different to being in one, when you experience it firsthand. So stay strong. Watch this, too, to help guide you further: kzbin.info/www/bejne/a5_JiIWAh9ehd9U

[@MarbyDiaries]

This situation is actually happening to me right now,,

[@BradBrowning]

Then you'll know better than to be friends with him. Avoid that like the plague and get out of the friendzone, okay? Stay strong!

[@SymphonyTaylor]

Me and my ex boyfriend were together for almost 9 months. He broke up with me before our anniversary. And we had wayyyyy more good memories and very less bad. Do you think he'll crawl back after a 30 days or earlier? We've been threw alot together (in a good way than bad). A week after i cried to him and crap he said he doesnt see a future..then 3 days later he said he does but in the far future. Im the best gf he ever had and same with me. He broke up with me bc of the "disrespect" which i didnt see and bc of our arguements. Our arguements were dumb so dumb. People at my age (15) are going threw wayyyyyy worse but he says stop comparing people to us. -__- i love him he says he loves me and says im always his baby. So i feel like there's an 80% chance of him wanting me back. Idk im lost. Help.

[@BradBrowning]

Symphony Taylor I've responded to your previous comments, please refer to those. :-)

[@samv31260]

so .... i have a question how are they going to miss you if they tried to find someone else ... like if she has company and comfort how are they going to miss you?

[@BradBrowning]

That's a great question, Sam. Typically "no contact" will make your ex miss you regardless of they've found someone new or not. However, if there's a new person that's filled the void for them, there are certain tactics that you can employ to ensure your ex thinks of you in a positive light. Go to www.breakupbrad.com

[@caradagostino783]

Brad Browning I'm friends with my ex boyfriend and I still wan't him back how do I do that if I wan't him to miss me?

[@nickfrosttotoro]

Cara D'agostino Seriously the video above answers to your question. Unless you are deaf, I think you really should listen to the video.

[@caradagostino783]

***** >:( I did listen AND I'M NOT DEAF IF U DON'T HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY THEN DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

[@nickfrosttotoro]

So why are you shouting? O_O

[@chia-junghsieh7998]

Hi Brad, how do I apply 30 days no contact if we are coworkers, and have to see each other everyday and talk? I am now only talk about the projects we are working on.

[@BradBrowning]

Do limited contact instead and keep any limited conversation you have strictly work related. You've got a long way to go but for starters, you can follow the tips here to prevent things from getting even more awkward than it has to be: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fYXNdnR9f7yHq6M AND kzbin.info/www/bejne/mnW9o6GEnZ1_hck

[@snazzyy8619]

I wasn't friends with my ex for a well but it seem like she got over me so I said let's be friends and we're friends but she does the same things we use to do when we were dating

[@BradBrowning]

Well, have you been actively trying to get your ex back? Don’t wait for this person to have an epiphany. Keep track of what you've been doing to see if it's productive or not, as far as getting your ex back goes. Have you checked out my guide yet? It may be time to revamp your techniques. Before anything else though, take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting your ex back. Answer as honestly as possible, at www.breakupbrad.com/quiz Good luck!

[@liliput551]

@@BradBrowning in

[@kslucki]

Thank you for this video. I suggested friendship, after he broke up and he accepted it. I then offered to go to the movies together, he refused by being busy. I am now in no contact period. And it makes sense, really. Why would we place ourselves so low as to plead with someone to be with us. It shows lack of self-respect. I offered to meet, he refused, and that's all I can do. The ball is in his side of the court.

[@BradBrowning]

You're welcome! I'm glad you're starting to see the importance of doing this. Keep it up and always love yourself first. Anyway if you haven’t already, please like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)

[@Alkaidha]

So should I ask my ex now immediately after she broke up with me, to be friends or should I wait, like end of no contact-phase?

[@BikkiMahato]

I have already agreed on being friends. I knew it was a terrible idea but out of emotions I did it. Now suddenly out of nowhere I have disappeared from her life for 2 days. Will it work?

[@BradBrowning]

Lots of folks seem to be oblivious about it, so here goes: the "no contact" rule, once completed, is just the first phase. There are two more phases to go through if you want an ex back, and the third is to rekindle/rebuild the attraction with an ex. Learn the basics here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/l5aqf4N4mdWhqas

[@alishajones9479]

Hey, brad! just wanted to say I love your videos but i need your input on something so please do reply. I did no contact with my ex for about a month and after a month he called me saying oh we should start to text again and talk on the phone etc etc. btw this is long distance. I live in NY and he lives in florida and we have hungout a handul of times. i played it cool and didnt show too much interest and he didnt hit me up for a whole week and then he texted me saying how he doesnt want to be in a relatioship right now but i am the girl he wants to marry. Then didnt talk to me for a week and he calls me in a very rude tone of voice saying how he wants to be just friends and wants nothing from me other than friendship. i acted a little emotional because i was hurt and he still flat out said i want to be just friends and thats all. too play it cool i texted back saying ok yeah ur right we can be just friends, so whats up? and that came off of desperate because its like ok ill be whatever of yours just talk to me and he never texted me back and since that day we havent spoke at all and its been about 5 days. please reply and tell me what to do brad. Please and thank you so much!

[@BradBrowning]

It's important to give each other space, especially in this case where your ex is showing signs of confusion. A plethora of emotions coming from an ex is somewhat expected when a breakup is still fresh and this is why I tell people to cut off contact for at least a month first and NOT deal with this ex. You both need to clear your minds first, all right? A breakup hurts both people in it regardless of who has done the breaking up. This is something I've discussed here, watch it to learn a few tips to understand your situation better: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iH-Zn5eAj5V9Y9k

[@niko5191]

Hi Brad. But if I stop being friends with her how can I get her back then? Should I wait until she reaches out first or something? I'm already on the reattraction phase and it seems like nothing works. She only wants to be friends. What should I do?

[@BradBrowning]

I suggest you employ the FULL 30-day "no contact" rule and be mindful of the tips in the following videos to help you out: y2u.be/gUBNd6pDINM AND make sure you don't make the number one mistake here : y2u.be/1cBpNrDDHnw So once you've completed the no contact phase, watch my texting tips on how to re-establish contact with your ex. This is only one among the many texting tips posted across my channel. Start with these: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jqDRfqeCe9RjZpI AND y2u.be/RggluigF74E but if you're still lost about what to do despite the tips sprawled on my channel, then you may want to sign up for my one-on-one email coaching at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching Best of luck!

[@견바시-c8s]

What you're saying is so true. Great video thanks.

[@BradBrowning]

Hyeryeong Park You're welcome! Make sure to subscribe, I'd really appreciate it! :-)

[@Paleolillith]

They can't feel what you're feeling if they're a sociopath.

[@BradBrowning]

Yeah, that's a given, I think?

[@sean_slicc]

hey brad I see my ex every Friday and sunday for church activities how does that work

[@BradBrowning]

Hey Sean, you should be watching this. All the tips are here and follow it down to a tee: How To Act Around Your Ex (6 Tips For Handling Post-Breakup Encounters)

[@jimmytran5328]

Hey Brad, so my and my girlfriend ended on a bad note a few days ago and she had a negative view of me as a insecure and jealous guy. I just landed a job as a therapist and my confidence is riding super high. I asked her if she was already dating someone new and she replied "This is the kind of behavior that separated us apart" and I told her "I'm not asking out of insecurity, right now I'm riding very very high on life and I just landed my job as a therapist". She said "I am happy for you and you are in a great place. good luck to you and take care". I said "Hope all is well for you and the boys. We don't have to end this on a bad note. We're both good people. We can always be friends.". She replied "Yes, friends would be wonderful". Then I reminded her that disneyland is having the pixar fest this friday and if she wanted to go together and just chill. She replied "Sorry, but I'm not ready to hang out as friends. The break up is still new and I need time to heal." I replied "You know somewhere down the line if you're willing to give it a second try, I'm always open to it. Have a great day at work!".. Usually before when we broke up and I said something about giving a second try.. she would say "no thank you", but this time she didn't respond to that one and said "Thank you!" which is over course a reply to "have a great day at work!" I'm wondering if being able to go out with her as "friends" which she knows I'm not trying to.. since we ended as me being very negative and lack of confidence.. she didn't ask to be friends. So if we were to go out one day and I showed the super fun confidence when we went on our first date (we were friends before we dated). What do you think? Is that a good sign that she didn't shoot down that offer of giving a second try? and I am also starting my no contact rule starting today since I ended my text showing a very happy side of me.

[@redbutterfly6330]

Brad, dating this guy 5months in Riyadh,he went to meet my family to make our relationship official to my parents while on vacation but when i was back discovered he was with another while im away...i left did not freakout..eventually they broke up after a month..now my Ex occasionally hitting me up but ignoring him..now he stopped contacting me...i believe i love him and want him back but reluctant to make my 1st step...what should i do?

[@BradBrowning]

Sorry to hear that. Learn the basics here to help guide you: kzbin.info/www/bejne/l5aqf4N4mdWhqas and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential! Check it out at www.breakupbrad.com

[@mickehog76]

Be only friend with an ex if both of you have no romantic feelings for each other. Be 110% sure no romantic feelings exist at all. Then you can be friends. But if some of you or both have romantic feelings, don't be friends. The goal about not be friend with an ex, is not about get your ex back. It's about get yourself back. But if you really want your ex back don't be friend. Do you really want your ex talking about their new partner and they will be hang out together this weekend? No you don't. It will hurt like hell.

[@BradBrowning]

I agree. Thanks for your input!

[@checkmyformplease1]

Brad, I don't talk or contact my ex at all anymore, but she still follows me on Instagram and Snapchat and see's the stuff I upload (which is usually me having a good time with friends and some girls). Does this count as "disappearing"? Should I block them from these things so they don't see what I upload and totally disappear, or is this even better?

[@BradBrowning]

checkmyformplease1 As long as you're not contacting her in any way, then yes, this is considered as the "no contact" or what I'd like to call the recovery phase. It only gets bad if you keep looking at her profile to see what she's up to as it can go downhill for you and of course, you'd want to avoid that. :-)

[@ponnuzdailylife2105]

This is my current situation. He asked me, can u plz be a friend, and I want to restart our relationship. But now now my complete romance and attraction gone away. I feel be friends. I still love ur look, character every thing. But i don't feel u as my partner.(.like thiz.and he was sad and painful at that time.) There is no other relationships for him.. Plz help me i love him alot😪

[@BradBrowning]

Your ex is most likely lying about the reason of the breakup so try not to fall for that. Discussed that here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/kKariHaNmqxkrtU However, the bottom line is your ex has significantly lost attraction. Watch what I’ve explained here and watch the entire length of the video to gain full understanding, as well as know what to do: y2u.be/E9wG_ErBQoI It’s important to rebuild the attraction naturally so your ex will be amenable to working things out, eventually. This is what my guide is for but you can also learn the basic principles of my 3R system here and watch the vid til' the end so you don't end up missing the important points: kzbin.info/www/bejne/l5aqf4N4mdWhqas and the golden rules here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z5ytYqyYqqt8fqc

[@irishgracearano1014]

Hi Brad... this really a learning for me.. thank You.

[@BradBrowning]

+Irish Grace Araño You're welcome! Feel free to like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)

[@irishgracearano1014]

Sure Brad.. thank you..

[@NightMareOSU]

Hey Brad, my ex and I just "broke up" a few days ago and after a day or two, we started talking to each other in a fun and happy manner similar to that of when her and I were together. She made a sort of joking question to be friends and I responded in a pretty unusual way. I told her that I have already made plans to help myself and become better, that being said, I think we can be friends under the impression that I do very much want you back, but we can be friends until we see that have worked on those things. I have asked her if my proposal is clear and she does completely understand that I want her back. According to her best friend (who is also my friend too) she said that my ex still loves me, it's just that she started to feel like it wasn't as strong as it used to be. She also told me that she wanted to be friends for now because she didn't want to hurt me anymore and make the relationship too one-sided. To my surprise, the past few days after becoming friends has brought out the nice and sweet side of her again and one thing I noticed is that she has a sparkle in her eye again when we look at each other (in the end of the relationship, she would hardly ever look me in the eye) and I notice her looking at me more often when we're together. She makes kind of a joking reference to things like "we can't do those things, we're 'friends' remember?" I feel that there is 90% sarcasm and maybe 10% seriousness to it. I don't really know what it going on, but could this be a good thing or a bad thing that me and my ex are going through?

[@BradBrowning]

NightMareOSU Hello there, this is a tricky situation that you're going through because people don't change emotions overnight... and this is the part where having no contact comes in, to make you both (especially her) think from a clearer perspective. She also hasn't gotten the chance to miss you and you're at risk for being taken for granted if you technically are always there for her. Make sense? The reason for the breakup, most of the time, is likely due to a loss of attraction and from there, it becomes a process to get her back, sometimes a long one at that, but never to be friends right away after a breakup. You need to rebuild it naturally and that takes time as well. There's just too many things that can go wrong and it's usually too much trouble than it's worth if you stay friends right away. It's also important that you don't overanalyze what she says or do -- again, much better to cut off contact first. I have a full-length video at my website that explains how this process works, so I suggest you watch that presentation at @

[@ojmccaf63]

You're sooo for real my brother!!!! Lol

[@goldenangel6577]

My first experience had a boyfriend who broke up with me, on August 8, 2020, because of his pleading and using his aunt’s demise as a bribe trick me into this friend zone, and I still feel trap by it. I was forced to be a friend and I want to get out of this friend zone, his ex-girlfriend Anna ( the girl before he met me) used these video tactics on him and frankly hurt him badly. she did the right thing and for me will do that on him.

[@BradBrowning]

Yeah, don't be friends on him for reasons I already mentioned in the vid.

[@kaylashane4584]

I just wanted to say thank you. Your videos and program helped me a lot !

[@BradBrowning]

+Kayla Shane I'm glad to hear that and you're welcome, Kayla! Feel free to like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)

[@DustinB19]

Me and my ex did no contact for a month. Its been 4 months since we broke up. The first two months I was not aware of the no contact rule. I begged to get back together and she wanted to but wasn't 100% sure. We sort of faded away and certain things happened (Met new people). We were both furious at each other, so i Insisted on no contact for awhile. We have broke the no contact after 1 month and she said she does not want to make things work right now. But she doesn't want to have me out of her life completely. Being friends feels like it will build more attraction then not talking at all, because If there Is no contact between us, I know for a fact that she will forget and move on.We aren't like most couples, we were insanely close. I've checked out a lot of your videos, but it seems like no contact did no good for me and my relationship with her, so being friends seems like my only other option. I told her we should start fresh and put the past behind us and focus on the future and happiness.

[@BradBrowning]

The "no contact" rule is just the first phase of a three-phase process in getting your ex back. It's not the end game. Anyway if you're very close, then being just friends wont' work. Not until at least you've healed and/or no longer want her back as your girlfriend. You both need to transition accordingly since feelings can't be switched off just like that. So you ought to make a tough decision whether you want her back as a friend or as a girlfriend. Remember, the boundaries won't be clear and you're technically both free to date other people. Wouldn't it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you're only "friends" now, don't you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively at kzbin.info/www/bejne/r5WZoamEi8p7oKs and kzbin.info/www/bejne/qYSXh2d_hMiCndU but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

[@RheyF]

this one happened to me and ot doesn't help at all it makes things miserable

[@BradBrowning]

Were you friends with your ex or have you cut off contact yet?

[@mauricehightower554]

Brad Browning on and off slowly I Turning off my phone it's a good way for me

[@mauricehightower554]

Brad Browning again I appreciate you giving me a little help or hope thanx

[@Dagger_n_ink]

hey Brad. I didn't make really any mistakes. I didn't beg or cry I just offered suggestions such as councelling. he agreed and then a week later he said he was done. I just let him walk out. was this a mistake? this was about 6 days ago. I think he's panicked because we dated a year and found out I'm 4 weeks pregnant. he said he loved me but wasn't ever in love with me and then asked to remain friends and I said no. I have initiated no contact and have only contacted him to grab me something when I was dealing with morning sickness. he stuck around and looked after me the entire night and leaned into me and subtle touched me. I could feel sparks there then he leaned away and sat somewhere else. I made the mistake and asked if he was back to dating and online dating again. he lied and said he wasn't. why would he lie? I got somewhat angry at him and he was on his way out the door and I apologized for my behaviour and told him I really appreciated his help that night. I he then said "we're still up in the air" and that he hasn't told anyone about us breaking up. he has contacted me a few times with jokes and asked me over but mainly for a booty call. I rejected the first time and then just ignored any further sexual advances. I went out and posted pictures on my Facebook using covert jealousy. but I'm wondering if I should just remove him from Facebook as well?

[@BradBrowning]

+celesteagw2 Hi there, sorry to hear that. What type of counseling? Was it couples or individual? Him freaking out due to your pregnancy may be considered a red flag. He may still need some growing up to do or he may not be ready for a committed relationship yet for whatever reason. It's hard to tell without knowing more of the story... consider signing up for my coaching program at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching Re Facebook, watch this for answers: kzbin.info/www/bejne/lWTXn4aPet5jjZI

[@pb084]

Hi brad first I already said yes for become friends but after I text this to her and cut off contact to her ..Hi , I'm sorry .Actually I was thinking . Being friends is not good at all . I was happy being in a romantic relationship with u . If that wasn't working out then It's probably a better idea spend some time apart . I wish you all the best..take care .please tell me is I did right ??

[@pb084]

She said if you want I can delete your number 😰. What should I do ??

[@BradBrowning]

As long as you follow through and really cut off contact for at least a month, then yes, that was a good message.

[@debmalyadas8647]

My ex said she wants to be just good friends with me...but now I have started the No Contact period...is it ok?

[@BradBrowning]

She's lost attraction for you and it's a terrible idea to be friends with her. You need to cut off contact for at least 30 days first. Silence is key and here's why: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sKiTdJurjah4o9k If you continue being friends right away, the boundaries won't be clear and you're technically both free to date other people. Wouldn't it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you're only "friends" now, don't you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively at kzbin.info/www/bejne/pqfClJ2wnbt-d7s and kzbin.info/www/bejne/qYSXh2d_hMiCndU but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

[@xter7856]

the breakups made her really depressed and reckless so i was thinking that staying would help her come back to me.. i thought staying would have her keep venting her emotions to me and we'd still be talking and then she'll start finding safety with me and then choose to get back with me

[@BradBrowning]

I understand what you're saying, man. I really do. The harsh reality, however, is that most dumpers already have the "moving on" mentality or looking to a new direction by the time a breakup happens or even way before they drop the bomb on you. It’s to your best interest to accept that there's nothing you can do about that for the time being. Cutting off contact for around a month is the best choice because doing the opposite will make you look pathetic or clingy... and those traits are very unattractive…as opposed to being happy. If you act happy, your ex will wonder what he/she’s missing. Quite frankly, who doesn’t want to be around happy/fun people? Make sense now? The bottom line is you ought to show that you respect their decision and you're mature enough to deal with whatever comes your way and that you're taking care of yourself and putting you first - irrespective of what your ex does. Read my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to go about this at www.breakupbrad.com and pay attention to the stuff I talked about here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/ipC6kJyim56rbNk

[@xter7856]

She's saying that she broke up with me so she wouldn't be a burden to me anymore.. She sees that I'm doing better and it seems to push her further, making her think that I'm better off without her.. I don't know how to stop her from feeling that way

[@sekaiwo7203]

Hey! I am so frustrated right now! He asked me to be friends with him but i denied ...but i end up missing him like hell ..and now i am screwed.

[@shawna2k981]

smart guy

[@BradBrowning]

+deshawn anthony Thanks! Feel free to like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)

[@xreplaysx9082]

hey...just saying the friend zone isn't being friends with your ex...its when your stuck being friends with someone who you want to date and it isn't going anywhere

[@BradBrowning]

Yes, obviously...otherwise why make all the fuss about the friendship? :-)

[@Maria-wk2qv]

Hei i contacted my ex to day after 1,5 Month, he dumpt me bye the way. I asked if he want to just hang out some time. He Said yes wi can, but remeber that we are not in a reallationship, and i dont want to give you false hopes... What do i do? 😭

[@BradBrowning]

This is why you have to be subtle and not jump the gun when it comes to meeting up. You're obviously too smitten by him and that's never going to work. Focus on texting and try not to meet up when you both aren't ready yet. The phase you're on is the second phase where you're rebuilding attraction. It's part two of the 3-phase system in my guide but here's q quick overview to help you understand better: y2u.be/7JtmVbDkblw but as you go on this phase, you'll notice one or more signs here: y2u.be/nmRM3dZAzDA and the best you can do is to continue to play your cards right and move to the third phase when you're ready. Good luck!

[@joshp146]

So my situation is hard . Me and gf dates for 10 months and just broke up last week . She said she still wants to be friends & we can still text & hang out as friends . But she said I didn’t try enough for her or put her first in the relationship & she said the guys that she’s been snap chatting recently , she said those guys actually try for her & she said it feels nice to have someone actually try for her . Should I try to win her back or should I fall off the map for a few weeks completely and make her miss me organically and do the no contact period for like 2-3 weeks ??? Thank you for your time & response

[@BradBrowning]

Trying goes both ways when it comes to being in a relationship. Unless you've ignored her in the past or didn't put any effort, I don't really see it as not trying. With regards to being friends, don't do it, man. She's lost attraction for you and it's a terrible idea to be friends with her. You need to cut off contact for at least 30 days first. Silence is key and here's why: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sKiTdJurjah4o9k If you continue being friends right away, the boundaries won't be clear and you're technically both free to date other people. Wouldn't it be pure torture if your ex dates a rebound in front of you because you're only "friends" now, don't you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively at kzbin.info/www/bejne/pqfClJ2wnbt-d7s and kzbin.info/www/bejne/qYSXh2d_hMiCndU but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

[@DIAMONDGIRL57]

Absolutely not!!! When my ex sent me a breakup text he immediately asked me to be his friend. I told him we cannot be friends now that it's over. He became irate and told me me he was blocking my me and to do the same. I replied "Block executed!." Not only did I block him, I called my mobile phone carrier and had him placed on no outbound/inbound text list. NEXT!!

[@BradBrowning]

Sorry to hear that. I guess you're moving on? You did great by avoiding falling into the friendzone though. Watch this to help you out: kzbin.info/www/bejne/ZmLap3-Jlrhslas

[@DIAMONDGIRL57]

Brad Browning Yes. it was best gor me to move on as much as i love him. He was very narccistic, selfish and immature at 70 years old. You can't change anyone but yourself. Thank you for your valuable advice and kind words. You are awesomeness!

[@stormblazt90]

I am so fucked... I have to live with the ex gf who dumped me for 6 months til our lease ends. Is there anything I could do?

[@BradBrowning]

If you still live with your ex, then do limited contact with your ex where you only discuss the essentials. Apply the tips here, too to help you out further: y2u.be/STL7ru4uSQk AND y2u.be/GTjEAGJWTuA I know it's hard, but lots of folks have managed to follow the tips and succeeded. So if they can do it, then so can you! Good luck and be strong!

[@greenchilli4216]

Brad I have been on and off with this person for three years. When we started out he showed signs of thinking about future etc. But when I asked him about it after going out for a year, he flipped out. He said he didn't mean to give me false expectations. And later we decided to stay friends only, which never worked, as we kept getting back. He cares about me a lot but he has some family problems which can't let him plan about the future yet. So he tries to never say he misses or loves me, but he doesn't mind meeting up. I recently told him I hated that. We got into an argument and I sent more messages. Then I deleted him from BBM and re added him so he would not read the messages. Now he has not added me back. Should I just let it go? Is it possible he has missed the invitation? I emailed this evening with no response yet. I am tired of the repeated hurt and break up but he really was a good friend too. Please help.

[@BradBrowning]

+Green Chilli Hi there! Try to see what's causing this on-again and off-again dynamic which has become a cycle. It's possible that you're both too close to the situation to really see what's going on. So, take some time apart and give each other space for at least a month, okay? Don't be friends as it will only blur the lines more and make things more confusing. Go and do your own thing instead while you let him do his and make him miss you as well, in the process. So stay strong, all right? Watch this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/a3iUeoWJYtF2rMU

[@greenchilli4216]

+Brad Browning thanks Brad. Yes that's what I am doing. I have been thinking long and hard about it, and I believe I don't want to get back with him again. A difficult decision but a right one. Wish me luck ☺ thanks again for your help

[@Tony-tv8mc]

What about remaining Facebook friends? My ex didn't delete block or unfollow me. I know this because she's looking at my stories. It's only been maybe 2 weeks. Can she still "miss me" if she's hovering me on Facebook?

[@krpluke5992]

I have been friend with my ex for 3month during this time she once said she miss me ....but today I jus texted her saying "our breakup means alot to me, it has motivated me to make some changes in my life .I'll be off for a while u might not hear me for somtimes" can u plz suggest something on this

[@BradBrowning]

I'd still suggest to give the "no contact" rule a shot because that's still really your best bet, which will work in a sense where you BOTH will get to clear your mind to be in a better position to deal with each other when the time comes - instead of letting emotions overrule everything, risking things to get blown out of proportion even further. Makes sense? But will no contact ALONE work to get your ex back? Sometimes it does, but other times (especially if your situation is unique) it won't, because the no contact phase is only part one of the three-step process I teach in my Ex Factor Guide. Learn the basics here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/l5aqf4N4mdWhqas I also made a quick vid to those who are seemingly lost and could use a reminder on what to do: kzbin.info/www/bejne/pZOleqeqhriUoZY

[@badmintonlovers2833]

I am In Different Situation I am following No contact from 2 months MY Ex wished me on My birthday And Asked Me that She Wants to have Fresh start As A freind.. But She Is Dating Another Person.. And I know That.. So I Just Asked Her That It would Be Hard For both us Now I dont Wanna Be Your freind.I wish You do Well and Wish you best. Take Care of Yourself. Tell Me Sir Am I right or Not. I have Lots Of confusion in My mind

[@BradBrowning]

Wait for a better time before contacting your ex. This should help guide you on what to do for the time being: kzbin.info/www/bejne/np3MnIt_m7KMhJo However, make it a point to be really productive with your time being apart. Follow the tips here to help guide you further: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nYalf5dspal8hK8 AND kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z5ytYqyYqqt8fqc now when the time comes where your ex is free or is constantly contacting you, check out my other videos here in KZbin to help you with a lot of texting tips. Good luck!

[@scorlin7516]

what if you and your girlfriend were working on something possibly very lucrative then she leaves but wants to keep a friendship/business partnership

[@egbertbergh7090]

What if we have kids together, should we still be no friends ?

[@BradBrowning]

Do limited contact or what I call the dynamic "no contact" rule. You've got a long way to go but for starters, you can follow the tips here to prevent things from getting even more awkward than it has to be: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fYXNdnR9f7yHq6M AND kzbin.info/www/bejne/mnW9o6GEnZ1_hck

[@fathimariyana926]

We were committed for 2 years and then suddenly we ended. But IAM still loving. Now iAm in the 4th year. So I want to get him back 😭 so I tried to be friendly with him. So I had enjoyed a lot the moments by being friendly with him but he was dating an another girl who was my friend. Now iAm very sad. So i stopped messaging , liking and commenting . But he still sending messages . Does. No contact rule work here . Docter

[@BradBrowning]

The no contact rule should've been done right away, not 2 years after the breakup. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but it's time to move on. Discussed that here: y2u.be/k1myDIp0gSc

[@carlsalut1722]

Thank you for all the breakup advices brad this means alot during my heartache days.. I get through alot of depression and when I saw your videos and advices I was seeing hope again..but unlike any other first time newbie in applying "no contact" I screw up sometimes. I dont messege her at all but sometimes I do stalk her facebook pages and react to her posts... I want to ask something im at day 16 of no contact should I be friends with her at facebook or not? Should I unfriend her and all her mutual friends just to be safe in applying no contact?? I hope to get a response.. thanks again brad! :)

[@peppermintcookie5531]

What should I do if I already accepted my ex to be his friend? I already did the No Contact Rule and updated my profile picture, but I don't what else I should do

[@the.anshuman_]

Peppermint Cookie currently I’m in the same situation. All I could say is think about yourself make yourself better. Yes it’s tough. During the no contact focus on your own betterment meet with new people as he says . Definitely your opinion will change. You will be independent.

[@materialhell]

You just don't be friends with him. You don't have to honor it just because you agreed. it's what's best for you.

[@peppermintcookie5531]

Maggie M. I accepted him to be his friends but idk what to do. I’m still doing the no contact and bettering myself and focusing on my studies

[@BradBrowning]

Since you've already completed the full 30-day "no contact" rule and assuming you did it correctly, then the texting tips here will be a good starter: kzbin.info/www/bejne/q3_CiXSdfc-UfK8 but make sure you tick off the checklist here first: kzbin.info/www/bejne/eHLLfqWjrJiGo9U This means you take time focusing on the second phase and eventually the third phase when the time is right. This won’t happen overnight, of course, but it’s something you ought to continue to work on to the point where you’re gradually building attraction again. This is what my guide is for. Have you checked it out yet? It's too complicated to explain everything on here, but here's an overview of these phases and what to expect in each one: kzbin.info/www/bejne/l5aqf4N4mdWhqas Good luck!

[@materialhell]

@@peppermintcookie5531 Honey, don't pay this dude any money. Do indefinite no contact because you can live without your ex.

[@selmasaksberg6785]

But.. If I tell him that we can't be friends and start ignore him and then suddenly make contact after 30 days , wouldn't that make him confused about what I want?😕

[@BradBrowning]

You won't exactly be friends with him when you reconnect. You can be on "friendly terms" with someone without really being friends. Think of it as like talking to a stranger. You aren't really being friends with them, but you do make it a point to be friendly and courteous, right? :-) If you're not getting my guide, watch my other tips on how to get started on communication to make your ex receptive to contact. Good luck!

[@emmanuelacheampong6678]

Just the day she broke up with me ,she is asking if I’m angry with her how should I ignore the message?

[@BradBrowning]

Just ignore. It's a rhetorical question. Being broken up with not only produces that kind of reaction but a lot of hurt as well.

[@emmanuelacheampong6678]

@@carolinaevelyn5824 okay

[@needles1987]

It's not the friend zone if you've already been a couple before.

[@BradBrowning]

It's a different thing of course if you're the one who dumped this ex... but not if you've been the one who's dumped, man.

[@asmieghirmay5212]

I have same Problem with my ex girlfriend now,she asked me to be friends,and i said ok, but now i don't feel comfort and she tried to control me ,she wait my text if not she don't text me first,since yesterday i have changed ma mind i quit texting and calling her and i will continue at least 30 days and i will see what will happen, hope it will work ,Thank you Bro..

[@BradBrowning]

She's lost attraction for you and it's a terrible idea to be friends with her. You need to cut off contact for at least 30 days first. Silence is key and here's why: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sKiTdJurjah4o9k If you continue being friends right away, the boundaries won't be clear and you're technically both free to date other people. Wouldn't it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you're only "friends" now, don't you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively at kzbin.info/www/bejne/pqfClJ2wnbt-d7s and kzbin.info/www/bejne/qYSXh2d_hMiCndU but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

[@asmieghirmay5212]

@@BradBrowning thank you bro🙏🙏🙏

[@denzielproctor4269]

look I'm 17 and I really love my ex. and cannot stop thinking about her. she calls me every single day... video call and everything, but swear she don't like me....but shows every signs she does. she gets jealous and everything.....so what do I do...really want her back.

[@BradBrowning]

+Denziel Proctor The answer is staring you right in the face, man. Let her miss you, first. Okay? Watch this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mITWZqSCbZqWicU

[@sleepinghoul2342]

Hello!! My ex broke up with me two weeks ago after a year and a half because she lost feelings towards me. We hung out a few days ago and she says she just wants to be friends and hang out and text like we always do but she doesn't know how she feels at the moment like if her feelings will come back or not. We have planned to go to Japan for a holiday for a few weeks which is in a month and a half and there's no turning back because there's no refund. Should I try the no contact now and not see her until we leave for Japan? And its our first time going over seas together, do you think this holiday trip can bring her feelings back for me if I don't see her or contact her? Thank you!

[@BradBrowning]

Yes, go ahead and do that. Make sure you really work on yourself during the time you're separated! :-)

[@L490sr]

Leon Johnston hey, I’m interested in hearing what happened between you two? Did u end up together?

[@randomactsofkindnessgraves2712]

I struggle to find any one video that involves no contact that applies to my situation;1) He started leaving me in July and came back over the summer for 3 weeks (separate occasions) and we were sleeping together over 2 months, he was saying he loved me and wanted to come home.2) We have 3 kids together. So he comes over every morning for the school run and every evening because I work in London.3) I don't know if I count the July era as the start of the break up or when he officially said he was done. exactly one month ago...4) I started no contact for 2 weeks (only speaking about the kids) and then he said "I want to stop all this and aim to be friends", since then we've been messaging jokes back and forth and acting almost like we were except for the elephant in the room , us not talking about feelings. I offer him a coffee each morning and then some days we text back and forth all day, other days we don't text much at all...5) We have been together 8 years, married for one. We have disabled children and debts together. He's moved in with his mum. I've watched so many videos and read so many books, now I'm all confused as to where I am. I sort of did no contact then he said he wanted to be friend, I agreed because us ignoring each other during the kid swap would leave me in tears each time when he wouldn't look at me or come in the house. I am a natural peace maker. So I'm guessing I should try no contact again and fade away like you said?

[@BradBrowning]

Sorry to hear that. If things seem hopeless and you're wanting to save the marriage on your own, my clients found their peace by having applied the tips similar to the ones I mentioned on these videos: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fGLRd4isqdSZbbs AND kzbin.info/www/bejne/oqerYYaKjbukmqs If you're still having trouble, consider signing up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching

[@karenpeterson5716]

What if he says he doesn't hate you but doesn't say we should be friends. It was a ugly break up

[@BradBrowning]

That's a blessing in disguise for you to really focus on yourself! Here are the basics to getting an ex back, it helps if you're familiar with it: kzbin.info/www/bejne/l5aqf4N4mdWhqas Employ the 30-day “no contact” rule first. In order to fully understand how this concept works, you ought to know why you're doing it in the first place, otherwise you’re just following blindly. So watch the free in-depth video on my website to learn some psychology techniques and understand how giving each other space for around a month can benefit you (and why you’re supposed to be doing it) than otherwise, at www.breakupbrad.com

[@davidalan6328]

Hi Brad, Decided to ask this here as it’s the video with the most relevant topic to my issue, I’ll try to keep it short. Had a relationship, started really well, just rocketed sky-high in the first few weeks and was amazing for the first 2 months. Following that, she detached, possibly because she knows we’ll both be leaving the city we’re in now at the end of June and wanted a less-involved relationship. I couldn’t adapt that quickly to this new thing and we started arguing, finally broke up. she wanted to stop talking for a couple of weeks and then try to be friends when we’re back in town as we both left for holidays. 2 questions: 1. Does the fact that we agreed not to talk diminish the influence of the no-contact strategy? Should I keep in no contact for slightly longer then? And 2. We’re sharing the same group of friends here. Matter fact, we’re in a way holding it together and it almost impossible to imagine that we won’t be spending time together because of this. Supposing that after this no-contact phase, she doesn’t want to get back together. Should I go ahead with the ‘let’s-be-friends’ thing and in time try to get her back or should I reject the idea? Thanks for your time and consideration

[@BradBrowning]

David Alan Hey David, most, if not all relationships start out great because that's the stage where two people are in a "honeymoon phase." Incompatibilities show up later around a year or two and that's where you can see if you two are really compatible and if you have "staying power," so to speak. Anyway it doesn't really matter whether you agree to the "no contact" phase or not, what matters is the benefits you get when you both go through it. No, it's not a good idea to be friends with an ex. Get my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to go about it at www.breakupbrad.com

[@Survivaltrex]

Hey Brad, great tips. Subscribed! Mine's a rather tricky situation. My gf of a week just broke up with me because I'm leaving to travel the world in a week and won't be back for 3 years. We have outstanding chemistry and she has everything I look for in a girl. I'd like to get back with her when I return home if she's still available. She suggested we should stay friends. Should I accept and remain in contact with her throughout the years if I want another shot with her? Or should I initiate no contact even though we only went out for a week? We're both 18 by the way. Thanks!

[@BradBrowning]

Braxton Wright The timing quite sucks, ei? :-) The best thing to do right now is to let go. If your chemistry is outstanding as you think it is, she may be available by the time you get back and/or get around to it somehow. You can opt to be friends if you can handle your own emotions and not mess it up, and granted how there isn't a strong foundation yet, it depends on her own actions as well, otherwise your best bet really, is to move on for now. Good luck and enjoy your travel!

[@Survivaltrex]

It does indeed! Definitely didn't plan on getting involved with a girl before I left. Thank you for taking the time to get back to me. I will take your advice and move on. I see now there is no need to get hung up over one girl when there are plenty more to meet on my travels! Thanks again for the advice. Have a great week.

[@juliexdp3698]

Hi Brad, my ex dumped me a week ago because he wanted to « find himself and discover the world » (we are both 19). He has a lot of self control and knows that he has to move on to be happy. Does that mean it’s useless trying to get him back as he is in control?

[@Yaro98]

What if you don’t love your ex anymore but still want to be friends or be a part in each others life could it work ?

[@BradBrowning]

Watch the vid for guidance, especially this latest version: kzbin.info/www/bejne/pqfClJ2wnbt-d7s

[@becky_123]

Hi, I need some advice please. My ex and I were together for 8 years and he broke it off nearly a month ago. Originally I said I couldn’t be friends with him as it would hurt too much. But then I said I would be as it would hurt for him to just vanish from my life (I now realise this was a terrible idea.) I also told him I can’t just talk to him and carry on, as I’m hurt and need space to move on. I am now nearly in 2 weeks of ‘No Contact’, however I’m worried that he’s just going to move on because at the breakup I said we could be friends. Will the ‘No Contact’ still work? Or have I just ruined my chances?:( Please help.

[@BradBrowning]

Sorry to hear that. It's definitely a terrible idea to be friends as he needs to make up his mind. And he can't do that if you're still in his life. See, when a breakup happens, most of the time this means he has lost attraction for you, hence, it's a bad move to be friends with him. You need to cut off contact for at least 30 days first. Silence is key and here's why: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sKiTdJurjah4o9k If you continue being friends right away, the boundaries won't be clear and you're technically both free to date other people. Wouldn't it be pure torture if your ex dates a rebound in front of you because you're only "friends" now, don't you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch this video so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, at kzbin.info/www/bejne/pqfClJ2wnbt-d7s AND kzbin.info/www/bejne/r5WZoamEi8p7oKs but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

[@girly-drama-lifelovely7983]

what if your ex-boyfriend uses you as a friend, but when you were together he never used you were his Queen?

[@BradBrowning]

+girly-drama-life!! lovely Hi... sorry, not sure I understand... what did you mean by uses you as his friend?

[@DominicCruz]

I was only friends with her for 3 days. I couldn't do it because I wanted us back together. So I sent her a heartfelt message that I'm letting go. Though I didn't want to, it was only way we can move forward with growth. Do I wish I can still see her like I used to? You're damn right. She was a damn fine woman, but her insecurities and jealousy just pushed me away so bad. It's about to be a month since I last talked with her.

[@BradBrowning]

Hey man, I think I've just answered your concern on the previous/the same video with you asking similar issues in those comments, so please refer to those. :-)

[@DominicCruz]

Here's an update, she contacted me after 2 months and she's into a new relationship with this guy who was waiting for us to break up. She's been trying to be "friends" but I didn't really give that vibe. I think the only thing I said to her leaving the door extremely open was im here if you need anything. She tried contacting me again the next 2 weeks and I only gave her a one word response. Haven't paid too much attention to her because I only would want her romantically, and not just friends.

[@josephperez199693]

Kinda difficult since me and my ex work together..

[@BradBrowning]

Do limited contact instead and keep any limited conversation you have strictly work related. You've got a long way to go but for starters, you can follow the tips here to prevent things from getting even more awkward than it has to be: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fYXNdnR9f7yHq6M AND kzbin.info/www/bejne/mnW9o6GEnZ1_hck

[@kristenfuller9168]

The best thing you do is do the no contact rule that's a healthy thing to do. I I'm doing it permanently. My ex is the one that dumped me how long does it take him to recover how long does it take for a dumper to recover? Do I recover longer? Or does the number recover longer? Now that I'm with somebody else I'm not sure if you saw the relationship thing on Facebook that I'm someone new I feel that me being with somebody else hurt him 😞 and I was told he turned gay he's in the guys now. After he saw that I'm with someone else.

[@Comindance]

My ex doesn't wanna commit.... I made the classic mistake of begging and pleading.. She says we should be friends.. But i said its hard for me to be friends and i should slowly DISAPPEAR from her life.. But now situation has reversed.. Now she is begging pleading to keep friendship.. Though i don't wanna keep friendship as i want her back and i wanna try NO CONTACT.. but on the other hand i can't see her in such a condition. What should i do?

[@BradBrowning]

Ditch the friendship. It's a terrible idea to be friends with her. The boundaries won't be clear and you're technically both free to date other people. Wouldn't it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you're only "friends" now, don't you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively at kzbin.info/www/bejne/r5WZoamEi8p7oKs and kzbin.info/www/bejne/qYSXh2d_hMiCndU but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!

[@琪琪-z4x]

My ex and I broke up recently from a 3 months relationship that was going too fast. He mentioned he lost feelings and stressed up from having to commit. Currently, we havent talk since the break up but since we are school mates and we work parttime together we definitely going to see each other.. How to go about this situation?

[@prityprematigga2318]

I tried no contact rule for 30 days then I tried to talk . But I get emotional any express my love . He just want to be friends. Because his ex girlfriend also want him back . She is nice girl. He don't want to hurt both of us . He want both of us as friends. But I miss him 🥺.

[@BradBrowning]

Be less available and continue to work on yourself. Apply the tips here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nYalf5dspal8hK8

[@jerryao]

Hi Brad, my ex girlfriend dumped me and asked me to be friends, and then I said yes (and this was the night before I started watching your videos). What should I do to unfriend her? Because I really don't want to hurt her feelings by saying some hurtful words.

[@BradBrowning]

Being friends with an ex, especially right after a breakup, is a bad idea. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively, at kzbin.info/www/bejne/pZOleqeqhriUoZY and kzbin.info/www/bejne/qYSXh2d_hMiCndU Good luck!

[@veronica9506]

Hey Brad! Thanks for the link you sent me last week. This is all helpful and all, however one question still remains in my head 24/7, is my ex in a rebound relationship even if our relationship ended a year ago and we became friends with benefits after? I found out through social media about his new girl after weeks of us stop being friends with benefits. My heart stopped immediately. I still love him even if it is as friends or nothing at all. But even if I see them together in person, what should I do?

[@BradBrowning]

+Veronica Arcelay You're welcome. Thanks for understanding that I can't backtrack though, so I'm going by what you're telling me now. Anyway if it's been a year, and your arrangement had been friends with benefits until a new girl comes along...no, it's not a rebound relationship, sorry. This type of arrangement, considering how you're looking to get him back, should've been avoided early on. You may have became his emotional sponge plus benefits by sticking around. I suggest you consider moving on from this, all right? Take care!

[@KamikazeDreamer]

My ex and I broke up just over a week ago after dating for just over 5 months and being friends since before then. She told me why and after a few days of zero contact and told her I was making an effort to change and asked if we could fix/start over with our relationship. She said no but wants to stay friends and said we can call/text each other whenever. We aren't on bad terms whatsoever. I still love her very much so I accepted which I now know could've been a problem. She contacted me first and did so a few times throughout the week. She did things like ask to borrow a movie from me, told me about something going on outside my dorm (we're in college), a snapchat of a song that came on that read "thought of you," asked to borrow a phone charger and we hung out for a bit the other day which was weird to say the least. I don't know what to do, and while I've been told the best move is to ignore her, she and I have class together twice a week so seeing her is inevitable. Again I still really love her and I'd do anything to get back with her, especially now that the semester is ending. What do I do?! I really need some help

[@BradBrowning]

JeRkEy952 I don't suggest being friends with her. It will only let you become stuck more than you allow and yes, that's a wrong move. Watch my other videos on how to get out of the friendzone if you think you're already deep in it with her. You can't ignore her since you're at the same class, but don't go out of your way to talk to her. Again, this stuff is in my videos where you'll get some tips: kzbin.info/www/bejne/r5XIdoZpjLpki8U

[@ashishbist3436]

Sir we were dating for 15 days now she is telling i cant handle relationship i need a break so what should i do

[@BradBrowning]

Since you're asking me, I'd say move on because that person is not just into you. However, Amy North or Kate Spring may have some other tips on what to do about that, so check out their channel, too!

[@sonjaf4399]

Hey, so my boyfriend broke up with me after a 8 year relationship (6 years living together). Right after the break up i made a lot of the mistakes your other video talks about. ( texting, calling, begging ext) We still have to see each other a lot this month to move all our stuff out of our apartment (which he currently is not stay at with me at this point- but most of his stuff is). When he comes over we usually end up talking and the conversations are nice and not about the relationship (a lot of smiling and laughing) and we sometimes hangout after he comes over (go get drinks). He also said once (after about a week apart) that we maybe could rekindle things with time (said this when meet in person), but then about a week and a half later said " its friendship or nothing" ( in a text message) . I agreed to be friends, and now i'm going to have to see him a lot and every time i do i feel great, but after he leaves i feel down again. Should i tell him i can't be his friend? how should i do that, if i want more then friends, and to get him back (and he said friendship or nothing)? advice?

[@BradBrowning]

Sonja f As I've said in many of my videos, including the one you've just watch, do not be friends with him right away. Cutting off contact is very important here since both your emotions, especially his, are still up and down and (which is to be expected) things will only get more confusing for you if you stay in touch. I suggest you get my Ex Factor Guide so you'll have a better understanding of things and why you ought to be doing it to increase your chances instead of sabotage it, dear. Things don't look grim as you think it is, six years is a long time, so use that as leverage by playing your cards right and not do the things I suggest not to. Okay? :-) The link is here: www.breakupbrad.com

[@sonjaf4399]

Thank for the advice , I have more issues now , he told me he is hanging out with anyother girl and they kissed. :-( . He says he unsure about her. And I even told him I don't think I can be friends with him , if there no chance of more. This seemed to change his tone a bit , because now he is saying he is unsure about me that right now he can't say he don't love me or does. He's unsure, even cried talking to me about it. I'm trying now to just go limited contact ( because we still have to see each other once an while at least this month) I took all our pictures down, stopped looking at his Facebook, stopped texting (unless it's bills or apartment related) , stopped calling. I feel discouraged because of this other girl, but I think he need to know what it's like to be without me completely ( because it seems to affect him - the thought of being without me in his life) Any advice on this?

[@BradBrowning]

Sonja f Then all the more reason to cut off contact, Sonja. Believe me, you don't have to hear about what he's doing or who he's seeing right now. Don't be friends with him! Have you watched my other videos or better yet, get my Ex Factor Guide? These materials will help you have a better understanding of why you need to do the things you have to. Emotions at this point are up and down, so you two shouldn't be talking unless you want to have more confusion and arguments. Take care!

[@goldenboy6931]

Great video Brad, makes sense. I recently reconnected with my ex girlfriend since October 2020. We've known each other for like 12 years since 2009. I helped her out financially and she paid me back abit. We agreed to be friends. But I still like her and have feelings. Once I got news that she had a boyfriend the whole time and I thought that I might have a chance to rekindle, I was wrong. I Confronted her. Long story short, I did everything for that girl. And if she can't give me what I want, better I fade away slowly and not do anymore favors for her. She wants to remain friends with me. I took it again but I know in my mind I want more. No ultimatum here, me and her booth feel down because I spent way more time with her then her boyfriend these past 5 months. I didnt have sex with her because of covid 19. And I'm waiting on my vaccine first. Should I keep her around still, go cold turkey and not eliminate her completely yet and back of to have another chance with her?? The long history is what keeps this alive?

[@BradBrowning]

So in essence, you helped her out financially but what do you get out of it? If you want to take a risk, try to ask her out on a friendly date and see where it goes.

[@niyaglover7977]

this might be a very late comment but I need some advice, please hope you can get back to me or anyone in the comment section. I recently just went back to school and I saw my ex and he said we were friends but yet hasn't said a word to me, homecoming is coming up and I want him to ask me but I know my chances are slim. I do not know whether to start talking to him more or leaving him be, I have already tried the non-communication and it hasn't worked as well as I hoped. Is there any possible way for me to still be with him or are my chances too low. I miss him but have been keeping my distance, not sure what the correct thing to say or do is, can you please help me. Anything is great, hope you're doing good!

[@BradBrowning]

Once you've already completed the full 30-day "no contact" rule and assuming you did it correctly, then the texting tips here will be a good starter: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jqDRfqeCe9RjZpI but make sure you tick off the checklist here first: kzbin.info/www/bejne/eHLLfqWjrJiGo9U This means you take time focusing on the second phase and eventually the third phase when the time is right. This won’t happen overnight, of course, but it’s something you ought to continue to work on to the point where you’re gradually building attraction again. This is what my guide is for. Have you checked it out yet? It's too complicated to explain everything on here, but here's an overview of these phases and what to expect in each one: kzbin.info/www/bejne/l5aqf4N4mdWhqas Good luck!

[@pepperninja]

hey brad, my ex broke up with me 2 months ago and she said she'll still be there and support me and she told me that there's a possible chance that we can come back together later in life and then she told me that "no one can predict the future and that she can't think that far ahead", false hope? maybe, why? because she has another bf and it pains me to see her with someone else. Is there still a possible chance? i'm also doing the 'no contact rule to see what'll happen.

[@BradBrowning]

No, it isn't false hope. False hope is her telling you you'll get back together after (insert amount of time) a period. She's just being realistic, man. Just try to keep in mind that the new guy isn’t you and if your relationship had been particularly good for the most part, then you can use that knowledge to your advantage. Your ex is likely rebounding, especially if yours had been a long-term or serious relationship. Watch these first: kzbin.info/www/bejne/inPXk2ZqnN5psNk and kzbin.info/www/bejne/oniVpJuPfpabb80 But don’t rely on that fact alone. Learn to play your cards right as well. Good luck!

[@FLOR-cu2be]

This so true I tried the friend thing at work and no 👎 bad idea so we just went cold turkey 🦃 now it’s as if we dont now each other 😔and we both said being friends not best idea so here we are 3 months broken up and no hope of giving it another try ... slowly moving on I feel it’s getting better I no longer cry 😭 and I think of him lesss

[@BradBrowning]

That's what they always say, breaking up is hard to do.

[@Squeakytuts]

Hey brad, what do I do if I tried to disappear from their life but I couldn't stay strong and I came back and now she says she won't care if I leave this time, is it too late or is she bluffing? I found out later from my friend that for the days I disappeared away from her she asked him to spy on me and stuff. Does that mean she still really cares about me? She also said she has feelings for me but they're fleeting fast and she wants that to happen

[@BradBrowning]

What I see here is a misalignment of goals, man. She's likely looking for security/stability and you might've blown off your chances by disappearing all of a sudden. Try to see why you're so quick to leave? Watch this, too: kzbin.info/www/bejne/o2OahX-brrqgrck

[@raquelanderson1903]

Hi brad I got dumped a month ago and have been CRYIMG to him snd begging this whole time with no luck. I talk to him everyday Should I try the no contact Rule or is it too late?

[@BradBrowning]

AZul Anderson Whatever you do, don't be friends with him. I'm in no position to say whether it's too late or not since I don't know your entire situation. I suggest you read my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to properly go about this, though, and watch this video too for some tips: kzbin.info/www/bejne/n6W2nmWOo7Z0sKs

[@leilanib9265]

So, what if you were only casually dating for 6 weeks but talked all day and saw them daily developed feelings but they say they didn’t?does this still work?

[@BradBrowning]

I'd like to say yes, but there's also the factor that he may not be that into you to jump into a relationship with you. Since you're asking me, I'd say move on because that person is not just into you. However, Amy North may have some other tips on what to do about that, so check out her channel, too!

[@guianadija3589]

I'm seriously so confused with my ex. We broke up exactly 1 month ago. but we talk every single day after we broke up. he keeps saying he wants to be friends for now and get back once we are better people but DOESN'T wanna cut our connections at all. He wants to keep in contact and force me to go out with him as "friends" but act like we are together. what is he trying to play? :(

[@BradBrowning]

+Guía Nadija I think I've just answered your concern on the previous/the same video with you asking similar issues in that comment, so please refer to that. :-)

[@jihyunandrsn3711]

what if im the one who tells him I wanted to be friends for now? 1 week later he told me that he wanted to stay friends too but he never iniate the convo and his reply to mine are cold and dry. i want him back and had done the 'all 3 bad text message' as listed in one of your video to him this week and he hasn't replied to them. should i do the clean slate text then go NC? or i should just start the NC without apologizing?

[@BradBrowning]

It's too soon for all that. It's like ripping a band-aid slowly. Don't delay the inevitable. Reference is here, too: kzbin.info/www/bejne/pqfClJ2wnbt-d7s

[@rig0rmort1s]

so basically, you just flip the finger, and just disappear until they come back if you want them back

[@BradBrowning]

Flip the finger and/or say no to being friends, that's right! :-) But no, you don't wait for someone to have an epiphany that they're suddenly gonna want you back. You ought to play your cards right as well. Here are the basics: kzbin.info/www/bejne/l5aqf4N4mdWhqas

[@rig0rmort1s]

thanks ☺

[@ImpactPHM]

Alright so, basically me and my ex broke up almost a month ago. And I just started to go "cold turkey" and not talk to her. Thing is though I see her everyday because of school? What should I do as I cannot really avoid her.

[@BradBrowning]

ImpactPHM You should be watching this: How To Act Around Your Ex (6 Tips For Handling Post-Breakup Encounters)

[@paulinamichalak8664]

I agreed to be friends with my ex after the break up and I fought for 4 months for it. We were together for 4 months, he had get divorced a few months earlier and has a child. Since October we were on really good terms. I was patient and I was so happy about the progress. I thought we would be back together, because we ccommunicated like before. Iam so foolish. After 2 weeks of Christmas break he didn't have time for me. I texted him that I was missing him. "What do you want? We're just friends". He's been avoiding me since. He was away for another 2 weeks and he doesn't care to meet me. I love him so much and miss him. What did he think? That I stopped loving him? That I was so committed because I just want to be friends? I cannot stop thinking about him and I am hurt every time he doesn't want to see me. It is like being broken up with again and again :( Why can't I stop caring about him and his son? Why am I so stupid to think that he would fall in love with me!? I know that I should let him go before he finds another girl.

[@BradBrowning]

Ah, not very subtle, are you? :-) Go by the golden rules here as much as possible: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z5ytYqyYqqt8fqc It may or may not be too late, but it’s definitely time to move forward from those mistakes and not repeat those! Don’t be so hard on yourself, though, since this is a fairly common issue and most people are guilty of this at some point. If you'd really want to gauge your chances of getting back together (it may not be all doom and gloom after all) I suggest you take the free quiz on my website and answer as honestly as possible, at www.breakupbrad.com/quiz Good luck!

[@guitarbuff85]

My ex dumped me 2 weeks ago and we dated for 2 months but had a very strong bond so she wanted to be friends. We are 22 and she couldn't handle her life and trying to find a career/work on college and she had depression issues and thought it would be best to dump me. She really has no friends and I was the closest person she has in her life including her family and she still comes to me with her problems she's has epilepsy btw. We hungout twice as friends and it went well she said she still loves me but not as much as I love her and that she doesn't know if we will get back together because she doesn't want a boyfriend and wants to work on herself but still wants me in her life. Please help

[@BradBrowning]

goo boo It's not ideal to be friends with her if you want her back. Watch my other videos on this as well, there's a reason why I listed it as a mistake, and it's not based on theory but on professional experience. Also watch this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nmOuq3aEeNymmKc

[@OfficialMadDogSBG]

My ex broke up with me before our 6 month anniversary because she wasn't attractive to men anymore she has Dissociative identity disorder and now she's gay not because of me but because she just don't find men attractive but she wants to be friends really bad but we still love each other very much what should I do?

[@BradBrowning]

OfficialMadDogSBG This is all the more reason why you should be giving her all the time and space she needs to figure herself out first. Focus on yourself and make improvements in your own life since you really can't control who she'd be attracted to in the future. Good luck!

[@DSNCB919]

What if they broke up with you over a month ago then randomly text you that they wearing your your shirts to bed that they love you then a week after that let's be friends and hang out? Its confusing

[@BradBrowning]

It is confusing. It's all part of the process when one goes through a breakup. Give it enough time where there's no contact between you and your ex for at least 30 days. A wide array of different emotions coming from an ex is somewhat expected when a breakup is still fresh and this includes the likelihood of your ex giving you mixed signals. Watch this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iH-Zn5eAj5V9Y9k This is why I tell people to cut off contact for at least a month first and NOT deal with this ex. You both need to clear your minds first, all right? A breakup hurts both people in it regardless of who has done the breaking up. This is something I've discussed here, so watch it to learn a few tips to help you on how to go about it: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z5ytYqyYqqt8fqc

[@LeagueOrGamer]

Hey, me and My girlfriend broke up about 3 months ago, and we started talking after a month. We talked about getting back together, but she said she was afraid, so we decided to see what happened. She wanted me to show her that I changed, so I did, I showed her everyday that I thought of her, that I love her and that I'll never make the same mistake. We kissed, went on dated, told each other that I love you. And 1 day she told me she got invited out by her friend.. and that she liked him a little, so she decided to go on that date, and then she told me that she wanted to see how it goes with him, something new... and I was heartbroken.. but I told her that I respect her and will always love her. And later she said that it didn't quite feel right to be with him, but she still wanted to try it out.. and I told her that she should just follow her heart and take some time to think about what she really wants. And she said that her heart lead to me, but she still wants to test something new with that new guy :( She confuses me, but I told her that I'll wait. But she does not want me to meet new girls and she said that I am her number 1, that nothing can come between us.. What should I do?! Help please

[@BradBrowning]

Sorry to hear that, man! Go through the basics of my 3R system here anyway. It's your best bet since your ex is likely rebounding: kzbin.info/www/bejne/l5aqf4N4mdWhqas Good luck!

[@nawaal4452]

BCPlays I know I’m too late, but she has you on a leash. Run!

[@user-bd3cn2nv8g]

Can u please help me? My ex tells me he misses me, and that he really wants to stay friends, he doesnt want to be with me anymore because he thought that I was unhappy in our relationship. I really want him back. Its just been a few days of ignoring him and he misses me just to stay friends. Please help me.

[@BradBrowning]

Tell him you've been happy in the relationship... until the breakup happened. And then avoid the friendzone like the plague. Okay? It's a bad idea to be friends. The boundaries won't be clear and you're technically both free to date other people. Wouldn't it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you're only "friends" now, don't you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively (follow the principles), at kzbin.info/www/bejne/r5WZoamEi8p7oKs and kzbin.info/www/bejne/qYSXh2d_hMiCndU