210: Parenting Girls and Boys Differently, Respecting Our Children? Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

[@modelingmotherhood]

"You dont cause me to be the way I am, you reveal to me the way I am" - that was mic drop ! So true.

[@thepuffinpanda9139]

Great episode! I'm a nanny, not a mom yet, but it is so evident to me how boys and girls are different. Just yesterday I did an interview with a family. The little boy was 6 and the little girl was 4. I was only there for about 20 minutes but in that time the little girl told me she loved me once and then shared some of her favorite stickers with me (building emotional connection) and the little boy told me tons of facts about his favorite airplanes and how they work (showing me his knowledge and how capable he is). It's crazy how, from such a young age, the way God made them different is so evident. I can't wait to impliment the lessons from Love and Respect into my work, marriage and (future) parenting! I'm starting the audiobook right now!

[@csekegabi]

Please be cautious and look more into it, it’s been so harmful to many women and man. I think it’s so strange he says don’t ask a boy, they don’t like to talk as much as girls, just leave them alone don’t even try. My boys can’t wait for my attention when I can listen to them uninterrupted. They have so much to tell me. He calls his work research but research is so much more complex than asking 7000 people on single question. Sally and Clay Clarkson’s books are amazing on the topic of parenting. Great Sex Rescue and She deserves better are resources I highly recommend on the topic of marriage.

[@cderry10]

Great thoughts!!

[@thepuffinpanda9139]

​​@@csekegabi Please tell me exactly when he said to not even try talking to boys? He never did. He simply said that boys and girls operate differently, which is true, and that a little boy may open up under different circumstances than a little girl. Maybe try listening again without your preconceived notions getting in the way.

[@csekegabi]

52:30 “Man don’t need to connect, they don’t need to talk, they just want to provide..” He is saying there are exceptions to this. Off course, little girls are intimidated by twenty questions too, not just boys. Children in general don’t like longwinded conversations.

[@thepuffinpanda9139]

@Csilla Cseke Yes, so your point is invalid because, like he said three seconds after your stopping point, that those were general statements that could potentially give insight into why your boy probably doesn't want to have heart to hearts with you like a girl would.

[@dhvh6580]

I can't say enough how incredible this episode was!!!

[@pattytalbot906]

Thank you for this conversation! I have a 17 year old son. I really needed to hear this today.

[@palinapalina5258]

Thank you for this great interview, for me it is one of the best videos from your podcast!

[@theproductivemommy8169]

What a wonderful conversation!!! Now I want to get that book!

[@priscillaboafo7745]

Wow, I learned a lot!

[@Bonnieuxful]

There’s a devil game commercial on your site. 😡

[@emiliadawnsmith]

What scientific research?

[@thepuffinpanda9139]

His son is a clinical psychologist

[@emiliadawnsmith]

​@@thepuffinpanda9139 and he has a PhD. But what's the scientific research that's being referred to?

[@thepuffinpanda9139]

​@Emily He talks about it in his book. How men and women's brains are different and how we react to different things based on how our brains/hormones/bodies work. It's pretty interesting. The podcast is only an hour long so it makes sense that he couldn't get too much into it.

[@amyradtke169]

There's other research that backs that up as well...even non-Christian look at the female brain or the male brain. Fascinating reads

[@emiliadawnsmith]

My understanding is the only research he cites in Love and Respect is from John Gottman, and is very misrepresented. For example, Gottman describes stonewalling as an unhealthy behavior most commonly displayed in men, while Eggerichs describes stonewalling as a normal behavior for men. Big difference!

[@sabl6381]

I like how this guy seems to be a straight shooter. I'm a wife and a mother and he is totally right about women hijacking men's stuff to ask "What about us?" Haha.

[@csekegabi]

We all know from Great Sex Rescue from Sheila Wray Gregoira how toxic his teachings and books are. So sad to see you promoting him.

[@patfromsac7951]

What do you mean? I’ve never heard

[@csekegabi]

@@patfromsac7951Go check out Sheila more in depth, but one example is that man need unconditional respect in the example where he leaves wet towel on the floor and her asking him not to do it is nagging and portrayed as a bad thing for the husband’s self esteem. There is no mention of domestic abuse, no mutuality, man have this need that women don’t have and understand. He says women have a need for emotional connection whereas man have a need for sexual release. Sheila says healthy people need both love and respect, sex is for both partners not just for the husband. And expecting or asking a husband to take his fare share of life (like picking up his own wet towel) is not nagging. He calls asking 7000 people one question is research? I don’t think he understands what research is.

[@thepuffinpanda9139]

​@Csilla Cseke So much if The Great Sex Rescue is unbiblical. She says that there should be no leader in the home and that both the husband and wife should be leaders but that is very much against scripture. Jesus is not an egalitarian. Sheila is and she tries to manipulate God's word to pretend that He is too.

[@thepuffinpanda9139]

​@@csekegabi kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z4G3qXSJZZd2iNU

[@thepuffinpanda9139]

​​@@cderry10 Yes, the data showing that the rolls that God put forth in marriage work and will continue to work until the end of time. Ignoring it for the sake of our feelings will not help our marriages or our children.

[@bigfatdogby]

Disappointed you are promoting Emmerson Eggplant.

[@thepuffinpanda9139]

Are you in middle school?

[@lisasmith6174]

Why? what's your issue?