241. The Stages of a Breakup

[@kglistless]

That feeling when you miss the gym more than your ex. I'd like to break up with COVID.

[@donkndave7811]

As Corey Wayne says... you gotta feel it to heal it.

[@lilasteeves3693]

Been there done that don't want to do it again. Think I'll stay single. I'm staying alone now so I think I'll stay single. I love myself more.Thank you. Stay safe.

[@danielosmon]

It's been just over 3 weeks. I'm definitely bouncing between the stages. She started dating one of her many orbiters right after the breakup. That hurt so much at first, but pushed me right through the denial stage. I still love her, but know she and I just weren't meant to be. I'm still dealing with depression, but I know this breakup is better for both of us. I know I will eventually find someone that is better for me, and I honestly wish her the best. I'm thankful for that relationship, but as hard as it is to admit it, I'm also okay that its over. Just wish I could get her out of my head

[@jizzlow123]

It's so hard! And I'm with you!! We all with you! Imagen.. How can she move on just like that!? It's actually not a bad.. Thing Because she will learn.. That the grass is not greener

[@gatheryerosebuds9]

It gets better brother. It takes a while but it happens in time. Give it 6 months, may be more. Keep on trucking. Expect to soar and plummet. In time this too really will pass man.

[@laurababe101]

You’ll get there... I’m two months in and feeling fine now. Was feeling up and down for the first month.

[@IsaacKnowReally]

Same

[@raullawson4463]

Hammer Gut brother it’s exactly the same thing I keep saying and I’m going through the same thing the grass isn’t always greener on the other side it greener where we water it

[@andynator149]

I feel like I've finally reached that acceptance stage, yet I cant get her off my mind. I woke up from a dream about her this morning. I miss her and wish I could talk to her. now sitting here bored under lockdown my mind keeps wandering to her and I wonder if she even thinks about me. I miss her

[@dacracking5768]

Omg, i drempt of mine this morning as well

[@scottfilbey7882]

She does think of you guaranteed. Its human nature. No contact and be tough bruh

[@nateg.4488]

She definitely thinks about you. Sometimes they don’t want to reach out until there completely sure of wanting this again but whether or not she ever reaches out to reconcile, just know she does indeed think of you.

[@bryantayala8803]

Bro I feel you @andynator149. My ex broke up with me beginning of February, in March I was over her. In comes the lockdown and she’s back on my mind. I do want to get back with her

[@sofiaf2298]

Finally I’m in acceptance stage. Still hurts but there is no going back, just moving forward. it took me the whole entire year to get here. Can’t wait to forget him and to be fully happy.

[@charliemvrphy]

It gets easier guys. My fiancé left 6 months ago and when it happened I never thought I’d survive this. But, I’m happier, stronger, and more independent! It takes time but you need to be one with your emotions and you need to be willing to putting in the work. Of course I still miss her and love her but I’m at the point where I’ll be fine whatever way it goes. Have faith in yourself, you’ll make it through!

[@conversationswithleo8389]

This was a transformative listen... I've come across so many "bullshit" videos about non contact, how to get your ex back, blah blah and blah blah... but this is what made a real difference, I was able to connect to the stages I'm going through even though they're in the wrong order. Thank you so much

[@kaelaxfoss]

Oh I definitely felt physically sick for a few months but wow I started healing and it’s been a wild journey. I’ve learned a lot. Even though a part of me loves him still, a bigger part of me will never accept being with him again.

[@evies_mommy_84]

I'm definitely experiencing these out of order. And some of them are even overlapping. I had a terrible time getting through a break-up from 2018, and now I'm going through another one (almost right in a row). Certainly seems like an endless cycle.

[@warrior_kris1744]

1. Shock 2. Denial 3. Anger 4. Bargening (Pleading id say) 5. Depression 6. Upturn (Let life happen) 7. Acceptance Sorry i had to sum it up.....great explanations Rory, but i do have question........what if she breaks through a text? She doesnt have courage or shes just a manipulator?

[@themadmattster9647]

yesterday was the first day that I went at least a few minutes or more not thinking about my ex after the breakup (nearly two months ago)!

[@trishaellaine9558]

This came in handy... on my 3rd week now... I was super okay for 4 days then hits so hard again today... 😔 This video made me less anxious... thanks!

[@alexd.3760]

You should do a podcast on Spotify. So we can put it on while driving or on the bus to work. As a motivation to get the day started stronger

[@TheLoveChat]

Hi there! It is on Spotify. Just search "The Love Chat"

[@alexd.3760]

Did realize that! Thank you.

[@violetharprashad9805]

So True, it’s been 6 months I’m going through my break up,now Divorce it’s one of life hardest grief, I was going through all those stages he talked about, but now I am getting better, thank to almighty that keeping me here... god is good all the time❤️

[@cesarfernandez38]

I love all your single videos but I think this is one of the best. I can assure that it's completely accurate. Thank you Rory.

[@h.n.2519]

Is acceptance the same as not wanting your ex back ? Btw: stay healthy, guys!

[@TheLoveChat]

It can be!

[@gatheryerosebuds9]

Yup

[@h.n.2519]

ok.. than i'm not at the stage of acceptance. But the thought that he (probably) is at home most of the day with his laptop and phone and does not reach out brings me closer to being fed up...

[@kgmfencing9835]

Not necessarily. Accepting a break up is accepting that the relationship as it was wasn't right and there's no going back to that relationship. You can accept it and still want your ex. But you need to realise that if you're to get back with your ex. The new relationship needs to be different. You need to talk things through and make changes before you get back together.

[@OscarEnmanuelDJFONIX]

Every time I listen to you bro It makes me feel confident.

[@TheLoveChat]

Stay the course! You got this!

[@nelsonbrooks9527]

thanks for another great video. while i think i am already mostly fine, i recognize that i still bounce randomly through these stages. 2 months no contact and under quarantine is rough. but i will not falter.

[@schuylerwednesday4679]

Thanks for this vid.i've been on a rollercoaster of emotions for the past 5 or 6 months... not rushing into the aspect of having a deadline of moving past this breakup.just gotta keep going and not beat myself about not having the rapid pace of 100% being ok.

[@sushmamangar6892]

My ex left me a month later after my mom died. It was painful to see my most important people being taken from me and I couldn't do anything.Well the break up was not a sudden thing we had arguments and he wanted his space the more I cared for him the more he became emotionally detached and the day came when he broke up. I wanted a valid reason for the break up because we were in 2 years of relationship but he was very uncertain about his decision.After the break up I went no contact it's been 2 weeks he keeps blocking and unblocking me on whatsapp.I want to stop thinking about him and your channel has helped me alot. I hope he figures out what he wants from his life and I will continue to live my life thriving to succeed 😊😊

[@matthewhayes6806]

Same thing for me. Brother passed, grandmother passed. She actually got tboned and nearly died. Left me soon after. The emotional roller coaster all in 2 months! It suckkked but makes you kinda unbreakable

[@sushmamangar6892]

@@matthewhayes6806 yeah all these things does makes you stronger at the end

[@suzieisamazing6815]

so did they ever come back

[@isaiah257reeeazon8]

I recently went threw a 3yr relationship we just broke up in January. And I can honestly say for me a break up is worst then someone who has died. Because when someone dies you go threw the grief period but there literally nothing you can do to get them back there gone forever. With a break up it’s different because they left but there still alive and well and you still feel attached to them and would do anything to just talk to them or even see them again. I got emotional when this all happen so I wish I could of handled the break up cleaner. But as humans we live and we learn. 2 months down I feel pretty good working on myself gym reading and applying my self to more job opportunities. And it’s crazy how many job opportunities have came my way! for anyone going threw this hard time it’s gets easier just don’t be angry at them or wish negativity on them. But Also be happy for you I’ve actually looked at this a positive way and kinda need this time to get my self straightened back on path and to become better and stronger. Regardless they’ll see the results and changes! But you have to be willing to change and and earn your results. Love ❤️

[@isaiah257reeeazon8]

Journal works! DO IT! Watch how your negative and sad turns into positivity’

[@alanramanand2732]

I’d love to see a video about what to do in situations when you’ve been lied to or have lied yourself and how to rebuild trust in your relationship

[@veronica-pi8tl]

Hey everyone, if you have not joined the discord group I would really recommend it. The love chat community helps you so much! I’m writing this because I’ve watched so many of these videos and only recently joined, wish I would have done it sooner. Wish you all the best! 💪🏽

[@cynthia5102]

I'm in the stage of, "I will be alone for the rest of my life and it's ok. I don't want to go through that again. Ever." Where does that fit in the stages you mentioned? Or is that after the acceptance stage? 😁

[@alisyed9625]

Currently going through that as well 😭. Stay strong, these feelings will pass!

[@cynthia5102]

@@alisyed9625 I really hope so. Because I've been feeling this for a while and I don't see a turn around.

[@alisyed9625]

@@cynthia5102 Yeah, I know how you feel and can relate. But just try to distract yourself the best you can positively and hopefully, these feelings will pass one day. That's what I am hoping for!

[@yeuruuerueeheue]

lol did it pass?

[@boothy4500]

getting what you want all the time makes you blind to higher callings. use this time to identify where you want to be heading in life. i've spent 3 months getting over my first breakup and i realised that i valued her more than myself for way too long. never will i make that mistake again.

[@dawnhsu6770]

It hits me so hard. I've experienced all these stages of grief. I embraced the pain until I feel no more..Honestly, sometimes, I still think of her and cry. The worst part is Depression. Still ongoing therapy and NC for 3 months now. That feeling of hatred but at the same time you still care for your ex. Damn!!!

[@mahinnnadiamoinkus3648]

You got this ❤️❤️ My gf of 4 months, which I know wasn’t a long time, just broke up with me a week ago. I felt trapped being a closeted lesbian, with no one to share this with. It’s going to be so frustrating resuming college in the fall and not having that warm pillar of love to fall back on and recite the extremities of my day to. But as time passes, I’m starting to feel a little bit better. Just the fact that I’m hurting but also healing is starting to give me hope to triumph this. I’m starting to learn to rely on myself and not others. It’s hard, but we got this, okay?

[@dawnhsu6770]

@@mahinnnadiamoinkus3648 yeah, we got this. Just hang in there, ok? You got a friend here in the Philippines.

[@Joycelang2495]

I don't trust him I need to be alone.so much peace and happiness that way ♥️💛💛

[@meenalaregina7770]

Hi! The description of depression versus sadness is helpful. Thanks!!

[@dligon01]

Rory, I love the way you break this down

[@VermontV8]

Is it OK to unfollow/unfriend my ex in social media in no contact? It's fifth month, I never visited her page since then. It just hurts to see her icon in friends list as a constant reminder

[@bmax99]

Actually, I believe Rory mentions in one of his other videos that this may give the dumper the wrong impression, that you don't want them in your life ever. However if it's the only way to help you, then it might be okay. It's okay to feel hurt at their icon as a reminder but it's seems that you can't get over the hurt. That you can't forgive your ex for hurting you. You may want to watch some of Rory's other videos before doing anything else that might burn the bridge between you and your ex permanently.

[@themadmattster9647]

my problem is shes always on my chat list, almost want to deactivate facebook messenger. And a few weeks ago she liked my profile pics argh. But im staying strong and just dealing with it. Eventually, I'll not even notice seeing her on my chat and maybe she'll go down in importance since im no longer stalking her facebook.

[@VermontV8]

@@themadmattster9647That's what I'm talking about. It's like you're trying to heal, forget everything, settle down your thoughts and feelings at peace. And then you see any reminder of them, and it strikes you with pain again and brings the memories again. Terrible

[@ares7521]

Somewhere between ocassional depression and acceptence with a little spice of anger from time to time

[@heatherrussell2634]

Your voice is so gorgeous & your advice is helping me so much. 💪

[@chachogonzalez6733]

Keep up the good fucking work Rory! You’ve helped me through every stage! 👌

[@Joycelang2495]

This guy we never been on a date but he opened up to me in the beginning how he felt he's just going through a lot just lost his grandma but I know in my heart he was with someone else I'm fine with it I'm just gonna not let him close to me anymore .God bless you sir

[@emilymarielewis92]

A few days ago my boyfriend of 9 years (on the verge of engagement) broke up with me ... twice! Once and then the next day he took it all back and said he wanted a future with me and wanted us to work through things. Only to change his mind again the next morning saying he just needs a change. This is after 3 months of me living with my parents to take the pressure off our relationship, with us spending time together once a week (having fun, enjoying each others company) and chatting about what we could improve and work on in our relationship, better understanding each others feelings. I really thought things were on the up so it’s come as a big shock! He says he loves me and these have been the happiest years of his life, but something is missing. It’s so fresh I’m not sure I’ve even processed it’s real! But I have to say your videos are helping me SO much! Thank you for your calming words of wisdom which are getting me through the early hours when I can’t switch off the fear and anxiety! 💜

[@emilymarielewis92]

We’re on Day 2 of no contact and focusing on myself!!

[@emilymarielewis92]

UPDATE! I found out by accident that he had been interested in someone else all along and I'm pretty sure he's been with her the last few days! Soooo now I'm not so interested in getting him back!

[@geetanjalijangra2135]

I have been through a breakup but after a while we decided to be friends again but i had hopes that maybe he vl come back i was wrong he manipulated me with sweet lies that one day we vl be together n he made me stick around according to his comfort until he finally told me that i was the one who was stopping him to get into other relationship. So i blocked him deleted his contact n nailed ittt... Finally at peace❤

[@milicacuturilo7662]

Thank you so much for this video, it helped me a lot and I realize some things ❤️

[@TheLoveChat]

Glad it was helpful!

[@talapascual5386]

Really need this. Just ended our 7 years of being together. Hays.

[@nurarich4945]

tala pascual praying for you for what is ahead,my 7 years marriage ended 3 years ago,I got to the acceptance stage after 2years.i do not want to go trough something like this ever again in my life,it’s an emotional death!

[@MOTwaccoe]

25 years together and we split 2 weeks before lockdown. I love this women to bits. Have 4 kids with her and i miss them all badly. I am in no contact but i don't think its working. 45 years old and I'm back at my parents house not been able to go out. This hurts and it keeps pulling me into depression as I cant keep busy

[@michaeltoomer4090]

I think I’m between Depression and acceptance but after 12 years together and being the 5th time we have broken up part of me thinks it’s just temporary and she’ll be back and the other part says its time to move on and don’t take her back if she does. This could play out for a long time. Especially as we still live together with kids and for the foreseable future with this Coronavirus going on.

[@geronimoventi6914]

Rory, great work on this one again. How quickly have you seen people pass rather thoroughly through the stages of grief, and how long have you seen some of the even more time dependent ones take before case closed? And is it also true that people can ricochet from different stages until completion of each respective stage? During grief, I feel something like what I want to compare to a video game character developing in a different attribute as I perform different actions in the progression of the game. I feel at times of loss that I would even succesfully gain first ground in the acceptance bin, and go to another stage before concluding any one set stage. Is this even a thing or am I misinterpreting my own processing of the grief at times and ultimately in denial thinking that I'm sincerely accepting? Like a form of self deception that the unconcious mind can conjure up that we can so easily read at face value and thereby get a false perception of acceptance.. It can feel like I might start in any stage and organically make rounds in whichever direction it flows. And the less I resist the more I witness this to be "true." Thoughts anyone?

[@Loveexpressionmachine]

Hey Roy, what if your ex girlfriend breaks up with you because of cheating & then she blocks you on all social media. A month latter, she unblocks you & then she remains cold. What does it mean ?

[@cuteandfluffypikachu3405]

I’m so selfish I couldn’t cry or grieve when my grandad passed away but I can grieve and cry for a guy who I thought loved me for 2 months he kept telling me every day 😖😖😖

[@slowhabit5794]

ive been doing no contact since jan 1 2020 and my ex (with a long distance rebound relationship) occasionally calls me for non sense. i think she is bread crumbing me and i dunno what to do. i want to be open to her but i dont want to be her emotional baggage. at this point i am not even sure if i want her back anymore i am so confused.

[@fitzpat6904]

Hey Rory just wondering if you could do a video on a situation where you were good friends before a relationship? My ex and I broke up and I feel shes trying to move on and obtain the same friendship we had before but I find that difficult to vision right now because I still care about them too much. We have a lot of mutual friends so i have to see her a lot. In NC for a month now after breaking up in december but I feel guilty for not asking her how she is doing with the quarantine situation. I told her I couldnt talk to her as I needed to work on myself.

[@tahrirforever]

In the time of coronavirus, he doesn't even send a message to check on me, how can someone forget all years he spent with the one he loved like that, What if I have coronavirus he doesn't care anymore!!? where has the humanity gone? If he has a neighbors he will check on them, I'm so sad how could he forget these years 😵😞

[@ShannonThor.]

Omg. This is me too. We haven't spoke since Jan. He pushed me away. On and off again for about 4 years. I miss him everyday. Not checked on me during covid. Im so hurt

[@DijaMC]

I don't know where I am.. 14th Feb my fiance decided to call it quits without facing me or my family no matter who tried to reach out to him. Our last communication was an argument and that was that. He has blocked me everywhere. Doesn't want to hear about me. Seems to be living his life on social media. No I don't follow him but I see tags.. I'm so hurt.. Each day is harder than the one before. I'm trying my best to be ok and keep busy but I feel pathetic for still loving him even though he left was it that easy to let me go? Is he with someone else? What now :(

[@MFHighlander93]

I’m 3 weeks after being told by my ex that she wasn’t ready for anything more serious. We dated for 3 months so only got to experience great times which has made the split that much harder. I’ve been through some serious breakups before so like to think i’m pretty battle hardened but fuck does it still hurt. Firmly in the anger stage right now, deconstructing the pedestal she was on and realising that she probably was just rebounding with me/using me and that she won’t come back because she’ll be too ashamed to face me again. Whether I can trust her again after using me.. only time will tell.

[@RobGordon35]

Thanks Rory! ~Peace

[@brandondajuan7156]

All of these stages are accurate. My ex and I were together for 8 1/2 years and have 4 kids together. I made mistakes of having sexual and flirty conversations with other women on social media a few times during our relationship. I also had communication issues as well and I worked night shift so she had to handle the kids by herself so I think when she found out I was talking to other females on social media, it made it easier for her to move on. I was devastated, hurt, sad and empty. I made the mistake of begging and pleading and it only turned her off more and she would say I can’t change over night. She acted like she wasn’t bothered at all by the breakup. She started drinking and hanging out with friends almost everyday. The weird thing is whenever we would argue I would go into no contact and she would be calling and texting me after the second day I would leave her alone. It’s like she didn’t want me out of her life but didn’t want to be with me. Her family started telling me how she would always cry to them about how much she wants me back home but she never showed me those signs. 3 weeks after the break up she started getting to know other guys and it hurt me how I found out and I tried to hold it in but she was so secretive about it that it made me confront her and it only started arguments and we stop talking for a few days then she would be back friendly and inviting me over to eat or watch movies but she still didn’t want to be with me. I finally accepted how things were and I begin to fully work on myself and started to get to know other people. She found out and became jealous and threatened by me going on dates. We’ve been broken up 2 months now and every chance she gets she says slick comments about me having a girlfriend or saying things like Atleast she was in my new bed before the other girl has. Or she will send me pics of us cuddling and say things like does this new girl know her and I was cuddling a few weeks ago. She texts and call me all the time and I only answer if it’s about our kids. She’s probably sexual with a guy by now and I’m letting her figure things out in her life while I figure things out in my life. But she won’t fully let me go but she also doesn’t want to talk about working on things. I haven’t mentioned us getting back together in 3 weeks. I still love her and want my family back but I don’t want to be hurt if she not ready to be with me. Can you help me understand what is going on with her?

[@melov2544]

How did everything turn out dealing with a similar situation

[@Citybythesea1988]

Excellent video!

[@itzpinkgamingyt6077]

I feel so bad because we are ldr but I feel as if I'm not his priority. He is messaging me but 1 liner and days passed he doesn't even call me just message. It hurts so much but I'm not sure I to do. Please help

[@abdoul.rmamah4558]

I only begged for two weeks then backed out because she threatened a restraining order on me. She also told all her friends how terrible I’m like nothing good about me it’s rough but guys learn from your mistakes and be better in the future.

[@willminitooliveros1844]

2months and im still bouncing into this stages

[@eliskasuchankova9689]

Thnk u for your videos and support what u bring here. Could u make a video about how we should response when ex reach out? For example reply immediately, or wait few hours to respond, be confident a funny or calm? I'd like to know bcse if u work hard for yourself and then suck the chat, it's a shame

[@triwarsita3179]

My ex deleted my number after I did 2 months no contact rule . before, he always watched my post. i tried post my new life and he always be the first who watched. but suddenly he deleted my number. Has he moved on? What should i do? 😢

[@10imbahashimgulzar75]

Well i can save your number if you want! 😂😂😘, give it time love you're gonna be OK.

[@seppel1604]

Dear Rory, you have helped me through a very tough time, I want to thank you a lot for it. Now things has changed and I got a question. It would mean a lot to me if you could answer it! ❤️ I’ve been on no contact since day one and still am. But recently my ex followed me on Instagram, I followed back. I am posting story’s (not since she followed, I was posting stories all the time) and sometimes I ask questions in my stories to interact with my followers. The thing is, my ex answers them sometimes and we have a 2-3 text conversation about that topic of the story. But she has NOT yet contacted me directly off of the story’s. So what should I do? Just continue the things like they are or is the iron hot? I would really appreciate a answer. ❤️

[@TheLoveChat]

Ideally you shouldn't be interacting with your Ex's social media at all. That is going to make your anxiety go up. Continue things until she reaches out herself.

[@seppel1604]

The Love Chat Alright, thank you very much for your answer! ❤️ Don’t worry, I have no anxiety about her anymore 😄 So it does not effect me, but sure I want to keep my chances as high as possible that she considers a reconciliation. ^^

[@santinogoring1477]

Actually after Depression is acceptance. think of the break up like going true various stages of deat; 1. ANGER 2. bARGAINING3. SADDNESS 4. ACCEPTANMCE.

[@TheLoveChat]

I'm basing this off of the Kubler-Ross model - as stated in the video.

[@devilcwesker5980]

To finally move on and go into a new relationship I have a question for this channel. Something the last relationship partner was that she was very shy,submissive and insecure, she used to lie so much many were just white small lies but others were things that needed to be touched upon instead of lying (like the stalker thing). So I was wondering (I like submissive shy types) my question would be that are those social aspects of a person relate to them lying more often or in more frequency? if so why? and is this my fault for choosing this types of women?

[@TheLoveChat]

Not particularly. Let's not confuse personality with honesty. I can be shy and honest but some people confuse honesty with being straightforward which shy people tend to....shy away from.

[@TheWebDrake]

My ex was shy, insecure and lied a lot about little things, but by doing this lost my trust for everything so I was constantly paranoid and jealous, which ultimately withered the love away, ending the relationship, even though we were extremely compatible and happy. What I've learned is that not shyness is the problem - insecurity and fear are. This triad of qualities you described(shy, submissive, insecure) seem to be attributed to people who have controlling parents, at least in all cases I've personally encountered. Growing up they've learned that they often need to lie because of fear of their parents reaction. So they transfer this to the relationship. But they are not bad people - you just need to show them that they shouldn't fear telling you the truth - go out of your way to encourage and reward them when they do, but don't lash viciously when you find out they lied, just be disappointed. NEVER MAKE THEM FEAR YOUR REACTION - you are just continuing the cycle. It's not all bad though, being in a relationship with these people can be very rewarding if you have the patience and understanding.

[@devilcwesker5980]

@@TheWebDrake Well why did you brake up? I mean you are making it sound like she lied about small things wasnt bad at all. In my case (yes her parents were controlling) she told me after me insisting for her to tell me who was this guy (we were dating) she revealed that that guy stalked her when she was 16 and that she still texted him back, I told her to stop doing so and she said "ill think about it" she dint do it. That made me furious I decided to stay away from her during vacations and I broke her off due to college distance.

[@TheWebDrake]

​@@devilcwesker5980 Because I couldn't trust her at all due to all the lies. Most cliche reason ever - lack of communication. We could've resolved our issues if we just communicated, but she was too insecure to do it and my trust was already too broken to even believe it. The bigger lies were the same as your case - she hid from me that certain guys she is contact with liked her. I would ask her, she would lie then I would find out the truth. She would cry, say sorry. We get back to being happy for some months and then the same thing would happen. Each time the recovery was worse and we were less happy. 5 years of lies. Finally she tells me she wants to break up because I never trust her. Funniest thing is she is self-aware why I don't trust her and even knows that she lies because of her parents. She just never had the will to change. One of her last words to me were "I'm sorry, people just don't change". And that was her last lie :)

[@devilcwesker5980]

@@TheWebDrake WOW that such a bittersweet ending to the whole thing. That should be the sequel to 500 days of summer.

[@alanramanand2732]

My ex just called me but hung up before I could answer. Do I assume it was on accident and do nothing?

[@TheLoveChat]

I think that is the best way to go for now - let them reach out again.

[@MegaSuppressor]

New topic... “Can opposites attract and last”

[@tommymann6821]

My ex gave me another chance...for the 2nd time. This time it only lasted 2 days, something changed, during the 2 days I didn't feel the same around her, she didn't seem the same, and I left, she let me go without a fight. I don't want my ex back...i do miss her but I've realized we're not right for each other. I wish I could still have the feelings she gave me though because I feel like crap right now. But I'm trying to learn to self love, and doing a video journal for my thoughts every day, what i've learned from this. What I will do for my future. I think I'm going to apply no contact correctly this time, blocked and deleted on social media, I don't want to post things thinking if she's going to watch it or not. I'm doing no contact Not to try get her back, but for myself to heal and grow. I sent her 1 last message, and I'm not going to expect anything back.

[@aashtunes]

Is it okay to talk like friends after the breakup? But as friends ?

[@hgzmatt]

It really doesn't work. It sounds nice but feelings get in the way. The person who got dumped can't heal and is stuck in denial. And the dumper is just using the other person to not feel the breakup.

[@leonardoyuzoreisshibasaki6584]

Is It possible to have a rebound relationship and go through these stages 1 year after the breakup?

[@indigoink_co5170]

Leonardo Yuzo Reis Shibasaki yes interesting. I’d like to know thoughts on this too! Rory?

[@EmakkiCa25]

Would love to hear about the stages of a break up from the perspective of the dumper

[@rensoalink4101]

He already did a video on that

[@DMONEY_wassup]

Would appreciate if you did a video on What if your ex is also doing no contact? If two people are implementing bc howcan anything get accomplished?

[@TheLoveChat]

Why would the person who broke up with you be doing no contact with you?

[@xpaperxcutx4588]

I have issues dealing with grief because i never learned how to properly deal with them in my childhood. So I'm experiencing these feelings out of order (angry and sad all in one day) especially since I just have to restart NC after 3 months of limbo with ex after our breakup in Dec. he had a head start in that he had mentally left the relationship a year ago ( or so he tells me) . The last three months were mainly breadcrumbs of me reaching out and him responding as a friend. I don’t want to be friends... I want to fast forward my life where I can finally move on and not care if he comes back or not. I really hate feeling sad.

[@bmax99]

No one likes feeling bad but sometimes we have to embrace feeling bad in order to become a version of ourselves that we can be proud of. You may want to watch Rory's other videos on "My Thoughts", bread crumbing, what the dumper is feeling, and the rollercoaster ride that the dumpee goes through. You're going through a rough time right now and there's no easy way out. It's okay to feel sad in the moment as long as you get back up when you feel ready.

[@xpaperxcutx4588]

bmax99 hi thanks for the response. Since I discovered Rory’s channel 2 days again, I’ve been binge listening to all his videos. The ones you listed I have listened already but I also listen to his videos a 2nd and 3rd for clarity. I guess it’s just me, because it takes me a long time to let go and accept that someone has left my life so my most recent break up is hard to let go.

[@bmax99]

@@xpaperxcutx4588 Everyone heals a different rates, don't feel pressured to heal faster than you are ready to. Comparing yourself to others will only make you feel worse. This might sound bad, but enjoy the ride as much as you can.

[@Seren2010kinder]

I had a very push pull push pull push break up She finish with me then get back then finish with me then have sex then say can’t do this then have sex then decide get back together then finish with me This all started in feb and it’s only beginning of June that she finally said she can’t do this anymore after just getting back together again and now blocked me on everything That’s it for me as well I fought so hard for the relationship but I’m shattered Lost over 2 stone in anxiety and right now getting tested for cancer as I’m going through this ffs I feel angry depressed scared sad My emotions are all over the place I want to turn to get for comfort but I can’t When I told her last week I’m getting tested for cancer. Her response was What if you do how’s that going to affect me !! Says it all really 😢😢😢

[@pinkmuffin9842]

Could you do a video about phone- or videochatting with an ex? Due to corona my ex and I are going to "meet up" this way and I think we are no exception.

[@bmax99]

I believe Rory covered a video of continuing no contact through the COVID-19 crisis. I think it depends on why you and your ex are reaching out to each other. if it's because of the crisis, then I believe the need to see each other will be short lived. However, I can't answer if video chatting would be sufficient. I don't think so since the video quality is normally worse and the connection you feel for each other might be dampened from not seeing each other in person.

[@pinkmuffin9842]

@@bmax99 thank you for trying anyways. We met already shortly before the crisis but now we are in an awkward space because we can't really work things out in person.

[@bmax99]

@@pinkmuffin9842 If you can't work things out, it's possible it wasn't meant to be or the both of you aren't ready. I wish you luck with whatever path you choose.

[@wii58739]

There is no expiration date on me missing my ex gf Its never going to happen for me... i wish i could travel back in time and fix everything even though Its not my problem to fix... life sucks

[@jenniferlopez2861]

Hello Beloved You can easily get back with your ex through Dr Frank The relationship restorer, I'm a testimony on how The great Dr Frank helped me to bring back my ex fiancee who broke up with me, Dr Frank Love spells works fast and reliably.

[@jenniferlopez2861]

[phone].

[@seanrooney170]

Been in no contact almost 3 months. We arent mad at eachother she done the whole if it's meant to be thing. Would it be a mistake if I text her and say I hope you and your family are staying safe during this virus going around. Should I just keep my mouth shut or show her I'm thinking of her in these trying times. She wants to keep me in her life as a friend I think right now after some time has past

[@donkndave7811]

Don't contact her. Don't be her friend. Give her the gift of missing you. If she misses you she will contact you. Be strong.

[@seanrooney170]

@@donkndave7811 I know man thank you. Chris D'elia podcast is getting me through it

[@seanrooney170]

@omgelatin I'm the dumpee

[@yuvall123]

rory is there a way to get your book without kindle?

[@TheLoveChat]

Not at the moment but you don't need a kindle device - just the kindle app (which is free) on any smartphone!

[@gloryan0624]

Hello Rory! 💕

[@TheLoveChat]

Helllllllllloooooo!

[@gloryan0624]

@@TheLoveChat 😁 Thank you for your video and your reply ! Im the one of your fan .. God bless you more and more

[@jizzlow123]

Just want to say.. That I see her at work!.. Once or 2 a week 👍.. And we have to work very close 2gether.. We never was exclusive... But on our way.. Now she's acting like nothing happened.. She slow fade.. Im not saying she's a narc!... But I need answers.. I love this crazy women.. And at first it looks like she loves me 2!.. Rip to me... Maybe I contact you rory

[@dacracking5768]

are went from barging from god to trying to make a deal with the devil XD

[@daletolbert7070]

Do a video when an ex girlfriend comes back, only for sex?

[@ushapraveen1659]

I am In bargain now

[@sdhh8599]

I have a ex and she keeps on joining me and inviting me to stuff 😂🧐

[@DJBirbman]

Hi. 😈

[@OliviaKirgo]

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