How to Get Out of Burnout

[@FerociousSniper]

I've been in burnout for the past 5 years. Everything finally came to a head last month when I just could not keep going. I knew that the delayed understanding of spoken language was not normal. The inability to focus was not normal, the fatigue, the hightened hypersensitivity to light and sound, the strong urge to play with something with my hands. I knew these weren't normal, and I could no longer ignore it. I already had a slight suspicion that I am on the spectrum, but I didn't think about it when I started researching my symptoms. I'm sure everyone watching this had a similar experience of deep diving into researching autism and finding that it explains EVERYTHING. I spent two weeks in bed, sleeping, resting, researching. I spent another two weeks organizing my room, and regulating my emotions and nervous system with large stims, and creating ways to handle the challenges of day-to-day living. Yesterday was the first day in a long time that I stayed busy all day without taking a nap or a rest break. I can easily memorize 16 digit numbers again. I'm not 100%, and I am afraid that I never will be again, but stimming is helping. My day planner is helping. And allowing myself to hyperfocus on special interests again is also helping.

[@FerociousSniper]

@CurveballZ126. I wish. I got bills to pay. 😅

[@starflower703]

Learning to pace myself and learning to ask for help has been key for me.

[@ThinkPositiveDude]

Wow.... it's as if I wrote this

[@FerociousSniper]

@@starflower703 same with me! Somedays, I really have to take things one step at a time, and give myself grace.

[@FerociousSniper]

@@ThinkPositiveDude that's pretty much how I felt last month when I started researching. I kept finding videos and comments from people that described me to a T. So weird how we go so long feeling so alone, and yet there are so many of us who can relate to what you're going through. :)

[@not.bjcary]

Quitting social media has been big for me. I got back on for about a year, seeing if I could be present on there in a different way than I used to be. And it was nice for a while. But eventually I realized I directed way to much mental and emotional energy towards it. As well as the time wasted on reading posts and watching videos that didn't add any value to my life. The space I've created by being off those platforms is really wonderful! I could talk a lot about it. But it reminds me of when I first left social media and how freeing and peaceful I felt :-)

[@ryn2844]

Do you count KZbin as 'social media'? I guess I personally don't, because I've not been able to be on traditional social media (facebook, twitter, IG, tumblr etc) ever, despite trying, and I can spend time on KZbin just fine. But I think KZbin should maybe technically qualify as 'social media'. So it's weird. Why is this different?

[@not.bjcary]

@ For me KZbin doesn’t have the built in “timeline” where you get fed a bunch of junk trying to trigger opinions. It feels easier to ignore comments and commentaries and just watch the videos I came looking for.

[@CardinalTreehouse]

If you are between changing beds and doing clothes laundry, changing just the pillowcases can be a good in between too

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Great suggestion! Didn't even consider this. Thanks for sharing.

[@starflower703]

Keep at least 2 sets of sheets for each bed. That way I can put clean sheets on the bed and have at lay week to wash them.

[@maiyapercy]

Thank you for this suggestion.

[@MagdalenaBozyk]

My way of handling laundry is often "it's clean - find it in the clean pile if you need it. Doing laundry is OK, but folding and putting it away is often overwhelming for me.

[@MagdalenaBozyk]

@@starflower703 I have like 6. Also, my partner has some kind of "male chemistry" that destroys everything. I have no idea why, so he has also a set of extra pillowcases. I also have several sets of towels.

[@jbrubin8274]

12:02 I lived without accommodations for so long, my family saw no reason for any as well. When I asked for a wipe board style calendar for the refrigerator, I was told it was my problem and I was selfish for even asking. As much as I didn’t see my diagnosis coming, their reactions and rejections absolutely blindsided me.

[@JeanieD]

It is so hard. I used to call in sick often enough to jeopardize my job. I didn’t know back then that I am autistic. I’m 61 now, and I’m SO TIRED! But I’ve convinced myself that I just don’t have a choice- I HAVE to go to work when I want to stay home in bed. But I decided that I just can’t make the effort to mask most of the time. I’ve lost lots of jobs due to being “different”, or “difficult “, so I know that my attempts to mask were not successful. Now I just do all the things you mentioned, Taylor. My husband is a very big help in all of this, and I know I’m very, very fortunate in this. And so far, I’ve had the same job for an entire year this time. I HATE this job, but I can’t afford to not work (my husband is physically disabled and we really rely on my income to make our lives comfortable). I know that my employer can’t afford to let me go (too much explanation needed), so I do have some job security, but I also know that finding a better job, at my age, with being autistic, and with my job history, is a pipe dream. But it is SO. HARD. 😢

[@starflower703]

You are doing amazing!

[@JeanieD]

@ , aww, thank you. My husband says that, but it helps to hear someone else say it.

[@Caprabone]

Internet hugs for you. ❤

[@CardinalTreehouse]

@JeanieD It sounds like a hell of a struggle. I am at a job that makes me stressed and leaves me completely drained at the end of the day, so while it may not be quite your situation, I can commiserate. If you have as much job security as you do, could you leverage that to make the job a little easier? Something like "Hey, I could be a lot more productive if I had someone to take care of my charting" (if you are in healthcare). Maybe not that specifically but I hope your situation is able to be improved. If not, you've got a community here :)

[@alywishesred4228]

I was recently talking to a friend about how I'm in burnout, but there is so much happening in my life right now and so much to do that every time I rest, I just spend it guilty and in shame about what still needs to be done, and it ends up not being very restful at all. Also have been pushing hard because of this guilty mindset, unwilling to ask for help, and waking up almost every morning depleted and exhausted. Tackling tasks one at a time, or at least fewer at a time, has become necessary and while it takes time and mental effort to go through, it is helping some. But my friend shared some advice on rest that I wanted to share here. "Reframe your time resting as working. Your body and mind are working to repair themselves during this time. These repairs are still productive and necesary for you to keep going." This has helped me a lot, though it is still a process. But I am now trying to look at rest as time for my mind and body to work and repair, and this helps reframe what rest means and can help take away or ease the guilt/shame factor.

[@yoyoyuyu234476]

55 years old here, know 3 years I am autistic. Have been 3-4 times in burnout for a year or more. My strategy is to avoid burnout by much earlier resting and working less hard. Has been working for a while but this week called in sick to rest. My secret sause is naps twice a day which stops the head spinning

[@ModernMedusa]

Vocalizing and writing down all of my issues has been extremely liberating and self supportive.

[@jasonuren3479]

Acceptance is the key.

[@JoviGal]

I'm very new to this page, and I'm literally in tears because I don't feel so alone. Everyone tells me I speak well, so I'm not autistic, even though I was diagnosed with it as an adult, and all of this is so much how I feel. I'm definitely going to join this Friday. Thank you so much for doing this!

[@Livi_Noelle]

Taylor looks unfairly gorgeous to be talking about burnout. Having said that, personal care and little treats like salon days are incredibly important to me.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Should be noted that I'm not in a deep state of burnout when planning/recording/editing/uploading videos 😅 I usually find it better/possible to teach when I'm coming from a well-regulated state. But also thank you 💁🏼‍♀️

[@starflower703]

I learned something yesterday. Don’t schedule too many appointments even at home in one day. I had appointments to talk about replacing windows and today I am burned out. Too many people, too much stimulation and too long with strangers in my house.

[@Truerealism747]

Time to in autism my grandfather lived without clocks I no now why though luckily the was a farm labour our he new the time by the sky

[@misspat7555]

My therapists (yes, I have two; one I am required to have to get my ADHD meds, that one is free; and the other who actually helps me a lot who I pay to see; number 2 knows about number 1, but not the other way around) have both been interested in how I have survived as well as I have in life, and still have a semi-positive mindset, goals, those kinds of things. I decided it comes down to accepting the things I cannot change, namely: 1) How I feel. 2) How others behave. 3) The laws of physics. I CAN control: 1) Some of what I think. 2) A lot of what I do. That is all. It is okay to have a lot of feelings about this; we can’t control our feelings, remember?; but these are facts, reality. So, if I feel exhausted, hurt, and/or scared, the question becomes how I behave in response to these feelings, not whether I have the feelings in the first place. I have found this line of thought much more productive than trying to stop having certain feelings, or to control the behavior of others. I never did much “blaming myself for the bad weather” kinds of “laws of physics control”-type-stuff, but my understanding is some people go to that extreme, and… yeah, no, the momentum imparted by a car going 60 mph is, in fact, NOT your fault! Choosing to break the speed limit by 50%, if that was what you were in fact doing, yes; but going that speed if it was expected at that time, in that place… no! 🤷‍♀️

[@paulinemoira8442]

Whenever I feel a burnout looming, I try to simplify my life as much as possible. E.g. if I want to eat a fruit, I'd choose an apple over an orange, no peeling, no plate. Dinner has to be as simple as possible: A sandwich. Shakshuka. Soup. Ramen with extra veggies. Water bottles, everywhere. Less social media. No drugs (caffeine/edibles/alcohol). A simple hair style, like a bun. No clothes with difficult textures. No cosmetic shenanigans, which need upkeep. I divide things into: Must be done (changing clothes), Should be done (showering) and Extras (shave). A lot of things that make life more enjoyable, create additional work. For me, I have to decide, at which times those things are or aren't worth it. Once I can experience thoem again, they will be all the more special. (This includes people btw.)

[@lisabmpls]

I am literally trying to rest right now. One way I do that is by watching your videos…truly. They remind me that it’s ok to retreat from people if i need to. And to take a nap if I can. Had a good but intense night last night and have felt tired most of today. Finally taking time to settle in a comfy bed and replenish and not feel guilty about it.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

glad you are taking some time to settle in and rest!

[@memery2781]

I had such a big YES moment when you mentioned going to appointments and specifically checking iron and thyroid. Finding out I had very low iron this year has helped me heal from a lot of exhaustion and weakness that i had begun to think were permanent aspects of my life, i had been dealing with them for so long. It's a very common issue, and it seems like it gets overlooked by many doctors. My own doctor barely mentioned the issue to me, and it wasnt until i did my own research that i realized how serious it was and how much it was impacting my quality of life.

[@whitneymason406]

Great video! I'm definitely a completionist, so stopping to rest has been something hard, but necessary, to learn to do. 💞

[@asb8564]

I enjoyed your video. Thanks for reminding me to drink some water! Rest is not a reward. If you don't pick a day to rest your body will pick it for you 💞

[@lucyarque2946]

I find this video so helpful and validating. It’s like a tincture for a sore and stressed out heart and brain. It’s also really well put together and thorough. I’ve been in and out of burnout throughout my twenties and have never actually been able to hold down a job. Now I’m 29 and am gradually starting to have more hours of productivity a week put towards building my (self- employed) career, and this has gradually happened through me starting to understand myself better and taking care of myself. It is hard sometimes because it isn’t as much as I want and feels like it’s going nowhere/ will take forever, but I just keep going because there’s nothing else for me to do.

[@REZZA2020]

46 late diagnosed. Thank you Taylor. I have hidden away my entire life.

[@kensears5099]

Yes. Since my autism discovery I'm definitely learning, even though I never framed it this way to myself, but somehow instinctively I'm learning about how to accumulate a good healthy store of energy to do something really well and satisfyingly rather than constantly making do with diminished energy. How is it that after discovering your autism you just start realizing these things? It's almost mystical.

[@starflower703]

Yes ^^^this! I rest the day before a busy, hectic or social day. That allows me more energy to enjoy it and not be so burned out afterwards. I also try to schedule a slow or quiet day the day after a big day or the burn out lasts much longer.

[@kensears5099]

@@starflower703 🙂

[@kensears5099]

@@starflower703 🙂

[@danieleads9208]

Love this list ❤ Also want to point out the irony of talking burnout when you seem like the most energized and at peace since summer started. Hope that’s not just the after-effects of a hair appointment and that you really feel that energy day to day now. It’s really noticeable!

[@Newtable_Blooms]

Energy spurts meltdowns hyper hypo ughh the joys lol

[@MomontheSpectrum]

It comes and goes!! :)

[@Newtable_Blooms]

@@MomontheSpectrum we got this

[@TRXST.ISSUES]

You’re helping so many people, your channel is a gift to a lot of those who are hurting. Keep going!

[@brendamattox7558]

I'm 65 and only discovered I'm autistic less than a year ago. I have definitely been in burnout for the last three months dealing with my 87-year-old-mother's failing health. She lived with my husband & I for 13 years and was okay until recently. A couple of weeks ago I was forced to place her in a nursing home after the latest fall fractured her wrist and could no longer go to the bathroom on her own. The stress of arranging all this, plus the financial uncertainty has been off the chart for me. And her resentment of the situation thrown on top does not help. My husband has been a rock for me and others at the home have been very helpful as well. My goal is to get through this and reclaim my own life.

[@starflower703]

Take advantage of any service Ms available to you. The facility usually has a social worker who you can utilize for support, advice, and referrals to any other services you may need such as counseling. Don’t be afraid to talk to the staff and share with them how you are feeling and why this is hard. They are usually very helpful.

[@Double0pi]

I haven't used a meal service yet, but one thing I've done is to have "takeout meals at home." I have a little electric grill, and I throw sausages or burgers or something on it to cook. Served with prepared sides from the deli (macaroni/potato salad) + bagged salad. Cheaper than takeout, and also more convenient--because when I'm too tired to cook, I don't want to leave the house. I have days of the week that are predictably hard, so I plan to have an easy meal like this on those days.

[@KaciCreates]

I’m in massive burnout due to family members having serious health issues that I have had to manage. My therapist told me to protect my alone time/creative time at all costs.

[@starflower703]

I lost 3 family members on hospice under my care in an 18 month period. Sometimes I look back and wonder how I managed it all; but honestly it was setting boundaries and setting aside some time for me every single day. Wile my mother was on hospice in my home, I purchased a baby monitor where I could not only see her, but I could talk to her without having to leave my bed unless necessary. I also took advantage of all the medications available to keep her comfortable and able to sleep and I rested when she was sleeping. The monitor would alert me if she started moving a little or calling out. It was such a small purchase, but made a huge difference.

[@tiffknox6158]

I’ve been putting “Eye Exam” on my To Do List over and over again. Can’t seem to check that off. Thanks for the nudge to get important health stuff done.

[@dahlia695]

I would suggest rather than making it Friday for ordering out, feel free to put the $ aside and do it earlier or later in the week as needed so it doesn't become a ritual that you have to feel obligated to follow and so you cak skip cooking on another day if something comes up or you just can't muster the energy.

[@cherylroberts5100]

I have been struggling with burn out for the past year. I am able to work on some days. I have my groceries delivered and I also order door dash too. This video is very helpful I needed to see this Thank you for sharing

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're welcome. Thanks for your comment. You've got this and you're not alone!

[@ClandestineGirl16X]

Trying to keep up with basic life is like...the hardest thing ever lately. I think I'm in or approaching burnout again

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes, every day I'm like UGH, food prep AGAIN? Shower AGAIN? Taking care of this body is hard sometimes.

[@Newtable_Blooms]

@@MomontheSpectrum What do you do about the moods, the meltdowns? How do you apologize for them? How do you know if an apology is due if it’s a sensory meltdown ?

[@notsillyone]

For meals I saved heaps of time just by cooking stir fries with enough left overs for two nights. And for lunches at work the ladies at the cafe didn’t have to ask what sandwich I wanted because it was always the same. But after being Married my family would get sick of the Samemeals all the time. So I share the cooking with my partner, so the family does not get bored with my cooking

[@wolfdreams2000]

THANKS for this! I'm SO happy you joined up with Comfrt, I love them! Super soft, slightly weighted, and just great. I have 3 different collection hoodies and 1(so far)pair of sweats. ❤ My animals help me better than anything. 🥰

[@MomontheSpectrum]

oh I'm so glad you love the Comfrt line as much as I do! It's really great high quality stuff. Thanks for your comment!

[@yellowzora]

Thank you, I reached my breaking point 2 years ago and in Spring this year I finally started to recover and have come a long way. It's so hard, but my spoons seem to slowly be coming back and I can enjoy so much more of life again 😊

[@pianodesu]

I love the most the concept of automating everything, looking forward to seeing progress with that in my life.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

and technology can assist with this in so many ways! I'm continually exploring and progressing with this in my life as well.

[@JonBrase]

Heck, tech is largely the product of lazy and/or burnt-out autists trying to automate their jobs.

[@ellAcappella]

Love my little vacuum robot 🤍

[@kirstinmckeown3581]

I mean, I judge people who have cat hair on their clothes in a good way--I'm more likely to like people who like animals, and care more about being affectionate to animals than keeping their clothes perfect. Also, I'm down with covid right now, but just before I got sick I had to go clothes shopping, and I now have a lightweight, long-sleeved, loose shirt of "athletic" material, it's super soft and has thumb holes in the cuffs. It is soooooo soothing to wear. Another one I got is a loose, heavy, soft soft soft, and the turtleneck is loose enough that I don't feel pressure on my neck, and I can hide up to my nose in the neck material. I hate shopping so much, but comfy, soothing clothes make such a difference.

[@7696851]

Thank you for making this video. It is so good to put the name to the horror that is burnout. 2 yrs ago I did not know that it existed. I've been in and out of it since and recognising past patterns and what led to them. You have helped me see that I am not bad but different. It makes it better. It is hard to articulate to doctors what is happening when it is happening (if you are able to finally get yourself to ask for help). Closest I came was to say that I don't know how to adult anymore. Thank you for keep sharing. Knowledge is power. 🌞 PS: Got my referral to get ASD assessment. My GP is great support but even she asked: do you really need the diagnosis to be? I guess I don't but my needs are such at this time of my life.

[@humbelduff2916]

Your hair looks really nice today, Taylor!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Oh thank you!

[@vermilliongecko]

I would also recommend checking out Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and making sure that all your physiological needs are being met before asking any more of yourself. Also ask yourself if you feel safe where you live. Until we get those basic foundations in place, it's hard to build ourselves back up.

[@JC_WT]

Good talk. Very helpful and well thought out. Thanks for the great ideas 🙂👍

[@travisnobleart]

The difficulty with stopping to rest is that it could take a long time to restart. Or least to recover momentum. Anything to recommend?

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Resting for longer. :) haha but for real, one small thing that helps me is I tell alexa to play one of my favorite songs on the kitchen speaker. helps me feel more motivated to get up, which is the hardest part of starting something for me.

[@starflower703]

Yes music or listening to a video helps motivate me and also helps me focus.

[@illyriarose]

In my experience, when I let go of the fear of not being able to gain momentum I can rest and reset more quickly, and then I'm back to my old self so much faster. Lean into the rest. You didn't burn out in one day/week/month. Soak up all the rest you can, unapologetically. ❤

[@SmilingDoom]

This might not be helpful right away, but planning your days to INCLUDE down time. Schedule it into your day. When you have that time to look forward to, it makes a world of difference.

[@deborahwunderman8567]

I am so glad I have found you and your channel! I am nearing 60 years old and I have never known that all the struggles I have had in my life are because I am most probably a high masking autistic woman and my mother is too, but she never knew either and she is 87 now. Both of us have experienced extreme depression as well as melt downs. Both of us accepted the label high maintenance people, difficult, and too intense to hang out with. Both of us have learned it is easier to be alone and not form friendships because it is just too darn hard to explain to friends what is going on inside when you know most people don't suffer from such things. Both of us feel like failures and burdens to our families and our friends and this makes both of us feel so much shame for even living. I have been in burnout now for more than 6 years after I was fired from my job for going to be with my father at the Mayo Clinic for 10 days after he suffered a heart attack. I had to make the decision to take him off life sustaining care. My workplace fired me and my husband's family doubled down on their narcissism. I went into a suicidal spiral. Seeking a therapist made it worst. I don't know how I hanged on expect for writing a novel I began in 2012. I have not worked for 6 years. I did publish my novel earlier this year, but as a self-published author no one is reading it. Now my mother is failing and my burnout is coming back stronger again... I thought it was just depression, but I'm pretty sure it is not. I am going to get an autism assessment. I have neglected my health and I have found out I am anemic, pretty badly anemic. So, everything you have said is really, really helpful! Thank you!

[@sarahberesford4724]

Blood problems related to autism.to

[@catherinethiemann9760]

Ending your day with spoons left -- that's what I'm going to hold onto. Easy to remember (which is important when our minds are as fatigued as our bodies).

[@Newtable_Blooms]

I’m still trying to understand spoon theory and fork theory. I’d like to make a A ND Photo book out of this. I need some understanding yet. Can you help me understand this?

[@catherinethiemann9760]

@@Newtable_Blooms Taylor has a good explainer on spoon theory here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/l3PdqmmZrZmFbqs. I hadn't heard of fork theory! Fun to learn something new. It seems like forks are kind of the opposite of spoons.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for sharing @catherinethiemann9760

[@xoshelbz]

I've been in burnout for nearly 5 years- homeless, unable to work, no access to resources, no family or friends at all. I've tried all the tips I’ve been able to find online and nothing has helped. Every day it gets harder not to give up. 😿

[@TheGritherr]

Thanks for everything you do MOTS 🙏

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're very welcome. Thanks for your comment.

[@robbiegibson4112]

Today, I feel pretty good, considering I am waiting for PET scan results. I am physically tired from overthinking. I remember what I've heard you say about burnout, how to prevent it, and the best ways to deal with it, including resting more. The more I recognize the pattern and sources of my burnout, the easier it is to prevent it altogether. I also understand what's going on now, which makes a huge difference. Thank you for sharing your personal experience. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your lovely family and to everyone else.

[@thecreativemastermin]

"why do we have to eat every day, it just keeps happening"... I so felt that 😂

[@kristinc6370]

This was a really good video. Thanks for this.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

you're welcome! Thanks for watching.

[@CardinalTreehouse]

Something I have been thinking about is how I was really bad at asking for help... I still am pretty bad but was worse before. It's like I wanted to intentionally do things alone or a more difficult way so that people couldn't invalidate me by saying I was handed it. Does anyone else have a similar experience?

[@starflower703]

I am a perfectionist and I like the feeling of accomplishment when I do things myself. The problem is sometimes I can’t do it alone or it’s just too much, but I absolutely hated asking for help. Something changed after my husband died 3.5 years ago. Maybe it was because I knew he was no longer there to pick up the slack and I had a minor son to finish raising. I have learned to pace myself, ask for help, set boundaries when I need a break, and it has helped me build a little tribe of people who understand me, know my needs and my personality, who are willing to step up and help when I need it. Don’t feel bad about needing help. Even neurotypical people need help. There’s no shame in it and once you get past that, you will get better at asking for help when you need it.

[@mabmab88]

Ending the day with some energy left! I actually learned that in the recent years, and am still actively working on it every day. So much work to learn and do 😂.

[@plantstho6599]

I've learned that people on the spectrum were more susceptible to symptoms of long covid. Specifically the fatigue. This feels identical to burnout and I think I'm actually dealing with both.

[@Starnumber2001]

I am here going through this.😢

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're not alone! 💓

[@melissawood4317]

I have been trying to prioritize rest for about a couple of years-well since learning of my diagnosis and how to support myself. I have 4 kids. I am fortunate that I am able to stay home. If I have a day (or a couple of days) that are really social with school or church or community, I try to plan a day of total rest. I try to rest a little bit before I get the kids at the end of the day. It’s not always possible, but I really try to schedule down time now and not feel guilty about it!

[@RinkoStarr64]

I used to always try and get my entire house (its small but feels enormous) cleaned in 1 morning. Im working now to shift how i clean (one of ly boggest hurdles) and giving myself 1 or 2 much smaller tasks to do everyday. Yesterday it was picking up the living room and finally folding laundry. I did it! It took me the entire day, but i did it. Today is to clean the tub/shower. Wish me luck Lol

[@amandav753]

Thank you, Taylor

[@jerriebryant7973]

Hi. One subject I haven't seen in your many videos is Autism and anger.

[@ellenkracikhoffman9530]

This video was incredibly helpful and reassuring. I really felt held and understood, especially at the end. Thank you so much. 🥰

[@PGH0222]

Ending the day with spoons left.......completely foreign concept...........sleep doesn't recharge me.............always in pain.......brain flips between being on fire and screaming and needing to do a million things and completely dead nothing happening can't think through the simplest thing..........masking quite a bit through rotations............while I'm doing it it's a combination between feeling like "I'm not masking, this is just me. Just pushing through." because that's who I became for years..........and "Okay, make sure to keep your face pleasant and your voice cheerful and don't talk too much but also make sure and keep conversation going and maintain an open and positive attitude and body language and oh no they took that as being passive aggressive and sarcastic and rude.......how.........I don't understand or know how or what but I have to fix this fast before I get reported for bad behavior........."............sooo........yeah..........trying to figure things out and trying to keep my body going and feel accomplished so my brain won't completely go towards the whole "you are useless" spiel.........but trying to rest when possible and ..........it's just so impossible right now.........and my house is nowhere near quiet...........basically just feels like I'm constantly expected to be reachable and responsive in the way expected........so I don't really feel like I can truly zone out and process until after everyone else has gone to bed............I feel like an electrocuted R2D2 right now.........I don't even know what to do......

[@myconfusedmerriment]

I’m pretty sure I’ve been in burnout for nearly 2 years. There are days or weeks that are better, where I get some relief, but most of the time, I’m in a constant cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. All I want to do is curl under a blanket and do nothing but sleep, cuddle with my pets, and do my hobbies uninterrupted for like…6 months. My job is a huge source of my stress but I also don’t necessarily think switching jobs would help the problem, because I think the problem is that my brain is just not meant to be working 40 hours a week. But I also can’t afford to NOT do that at this point in time. I take longer to process things and I just feel like I can never keep up. I am trying to be kind to myself; lately, I’ve been getting back into some old hobbies and that gives me something to look forward to. But it just sucks to feel like I’m always playing catch-up with something.

[@bridget_clinch]

I burned out in 2013, didn't realise it until many years later, and don't really feel like I have ever gotten past it.

[@letsrock1729]

I feel exactly the same, except it's 2015 in my case.

[@charliechasher]

🙏🙏🙏 May the Angels Bless You 💙💙💙

[@sleepyspacegremlin]

Reading comments and we all sound so similar! 😅

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're definitely not alone! This is a great community to connect with. We're all going through so many similar things here, and there are a lot of supportive/validating vibes to go around.

[@badmonkeyking]

Im fighting burn out right now, it cost me work. But still had to explain to my boss I can come in and fight for sick pay. While made to also feel like a commodity not a person. so this videos timing was like fate

[@Infinitesimal-ho7it]

This video about burnout makes me feel like I'm burning out. ? Making me think about how it's been in the recent past. Or is it a pain frequency making my head tense up? I think that is a thing in a lot of videos, along with any emotion if the video is bringing up helpless situations. I just realized I didn't have my Flares in. lol

[@maiyapercy]

Thank you so much for making this video. 💛

[@daisymoonsavage5040]

I’m in burnout so bad that I’m at risk of losing my job. I can’t think or remember processes I have been doing for 10 years. It’s gotten bad the last several months. I had to take action. I have prioritized my mental state. My house is a mess right now (cluttered not biohazard) and I have very little I do outside of the house now. I have prioritized rest. I read when I can focus, I have picked up my knitting and crochet again and I’m working on my book outlines again. The creativity is necessary for me to regulate. I have broken house tasks into smaller pieces I work on throughout the day. I work from home which makes this easier. I have changed my eating habits and walk my dog whenever I can. It’s been 2 months and I’m seeing improvement.

[@shinymommy]

Just hit shutdown today. I was not prepared and had to cancel a lot of fun things this weekend. I'm super upset about it and this couldn't have come at a better time. ❤

[@AlCapwnd-tb5ow]

For me it was working a lot of overtime to be able to afford taking 2 weeks off of work and focus on me and that included not answering phone calls (I absolutely loathe phone calls) it was world changing for me. A couple months later I took a week and a half off to do the same thing and a couple months after that a week off. I was working 7 days a week(6 if I was lucky) continuously since the beginning of Covid and didn’t take more than a single day off at a time. I only recently found out about my autism diagnosis but have had my adhd diagnosed for about 10 years already. Also finding out I have autism has been a game changer for me. It does saddens me to think about all the struggles as a kid growing up that could have easily been avoided 😢

[@robbiegibson4112]

Oh yeah, and I woke up at 1:30 AM yesterday and I complained and expressed anger from pain several places and now I have to find and delete that and apologize there to. So I had an emotional melt down and that can be very embarrassing. I think I will be doing so much better when I go back to work at least part time. I am also starting walking again this morning. That helps more than most people would know. Tremendously with energy etc.

[@JeremiahSenner]

There's something to the idea of things getting better by focusing on the good things in life. I learned of the concept from Dani Johnson/First Steps to Success. I used to work 70 hours a week at my delivery job and make $35k per year. Eight years later, I have the exact same job. I've never once asked for a raise. Now, I make 70k a year working less than 30 hours a week.

[@bethanykittok3903]

10:59 another thought--can you barter for services? For example, can you do web design or offer another service in exchange for cleaning services? Currency doesn't have to be money 😉

[@bethanykittok3903]

14:00 Oops jumped the gun on that comment😅

[@lindasplaylist100]

How did you find help? You are amazing.

[@ElizabethLovesFitness]

So helpful 😃

[@Dahlia_sunset]

Even if you're not autistic, in a world as crazy as this it's remarkable if you're just fine 😅

[@kaymastclinic2171]

Totally. Happens all the time.

[@CharlotteWhite]

Love this!

[@danielmoore4566]

I also have autism and I'm a caregiver to my brother because he's Partially blind and he has cancer

[@raymoonlight3396]

As much as I want those sweats so bad, the weather here is so hot it is bound to make me sweat and I find that so icky ;_; sigh...

[@thesnoopydance645]

Thank you so much for this video. I know im going through something but struggling to identify what. Question: does burnout need to result FROM something or can it just strike you out of the blue ???

[@elezibethmorgan4036]

One of the biggest thing that helps me is getting rid of ALL unnecessary “things” in my environment.. clutter is overwhelming and really hinders adequate rest for me. I have never regretted purging unnecessary stuff. It’s not overwhelming to clean an empty room, but it is too overwhelming to clean a cluttered one.

[@rebeccaelle135]

excellent. please begin if you can including this knowledge related to the aging population...autistic elderly suffer unnecessarily when moved into assisted living; it is awful. Autistic, women I am thinking of, need to age in sensory safe settings.....as well as there caretakers! Just putting this out here.

[@crashspyrofan98]

Happy thanksgiving 🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃

[@dortek882]

Can I ask something of you?🙏 Could you make just a small pause between points? Just to let it sink in before changing subject. Thank you ❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thank you for the suggestion.

[@binesart]

My life has gotten so overwhelming, it’s so necessary to be able to rely on friends when possible! I am finally settling in a new apartment and it’s so hard to create new routines while feeling on the edge of burnout. It’s like learning to trust your new environment, listening to the walls, all the new sounds… there was also a heavy storm the weekend I moved in that kicked over trees, power and water cuts, and a flea invasion. My very old and kind landlords are having serious community difficulties, wondering if they are on the spectrum as well 😅. My nerves are so on edge. Just wishing for some boredom and things being in their place. My books are still in boxes 😢… I may needs to ask around who would help me organise my stuff.

[@wonderfully_wired]

Please share link to the water bottle ❤

[@robbiegibson4112]

I apologize for having a melt down on your page . Turns out , the PET scan is negative for cancer although there are maybe 3 types that may not show up however, I still feel extremely relieved and blessed even if whatever is in my lower left lung is something serious if that is the only one I am extremely blessed I think. As for the tv, well, my son has one I can borrow for now and we both have insurance that will cover stuff like that so like he sai it's just material stuff...just a really like no way freak accident made me just stop and think like ok someone is trying to tell me something. I dunno. Again, I apologize for showing my pain through anger here. Have a blessed day and a wonderful holiday season. Enjoy the magic of the Christmas Spirit.

[@roguereemerged]

I have no one to ask. what services are actually out there? can’t seem to find anything.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I have a rather large resource guide that has many suggestions that might be helpful: momonthespectrum.life/barg

[@cd4536]

I was in burnout about 2 years ago and is treated like depression. My therapist sent me to the hospital involuntarily then forced me into an intensive outpatient program, which i got kicked out of for refusing to switch to their DBT program. I had done DBT before and was helpful, but I just instinctually knew that it was a bad idea. After that my therapist dropped me as a patient with zero notice. At the time I wasn't aware of autistic burn out until A few days before I was kicked out of the IOP. I tried to tell the doctors I thought it was autistic burnout they didn't care. The IOP and the hospital are a sensory nightmare. It was a mess.

[@thattitus2life]

EEEKKK Oh my goodness.. I am a flight attendant and have such an issue with the hotel blankets and room temps... these sweats maybe the solution I needed. Also... I am in burnout and have been for months!!!!!

[@karowolkenschaufler7659]

I have heard the term "radical acceptance" and I really like that. because.. radical. when the stupid capitalistic norm is to not properly feel your emotions and surpress everthing and work against yourself... I want to be a bit of a rebell by doing the opposite. and for me it's not just grief... it's also anger. or maybe the anger is part of the grief... anyway... music helps me loads. because it is a sensory experiance that I can fully imerse myself in. and because I listen to a lot of angry, loud, tortured music... (metal is therapeutic...)

[@wenus4391]

The thing that confuses me is that on the one hand I really wanna be independent but at the same time I long for someone to be with me, but I don't like compromise so I stay alone. Can't make up my mind. Any tips?

[@yoheurtel]

What kind of physical symptoms do you have when you're on burnout? I noticed an increase in joint pains, or back stiffness.

[@sleepyspacegremlin]

I have been in severe burnout (unable to work, su_cidal every day) for over a year. One thing to note is that I have multiple health issues going on, not just autism & everything that entails. I feel like the hardest thing for me is that everything related to burnout is subjective: spoons, resting, doing nothing. There's no set definition for these things and I'm just wondering how to keep track of things like how many spoons I have left and whether I'm resting correctly. I keep track of a lot of things because of my health issues, but I have a lot of trouble quantifying some stuff. How do I do that?

[@robinhoward5987]

I was in burnout for the last ten years. Also suffer from chronic migraine. Retired last year, still detoxing.

[@sarahberesford4724]

Any migraine pain in body

[@bellonasky2502]

What do you do for work? The ADHD has finally gotten too severe that everything I did before no longer is enough and at this age meds don’t work for me like they used to. I’m debilitated with migraines or thoughts of death or best case I’d they simply don’t help. I call it psychological jail. Any suggestions for natural supplements and how to change my thoughts about it is much appreciated and is the real source of my depression (same issue with antidepressants causing suicidal thoughts). I’ve started to go to bed a lot earlier. I don’t wake up any earlier but I’ve been feeling much better during the day and more energetic. Apparently I needed 9-10 hours of sleep and WHEN I sleep really matters! I’ll feel exhausted and awful just because of the times that I slept. Getting a few hours before midnight really matters!

[@jarmoliebrand2005]

I think I can have been able to explain the way I’ve been feeling for the past year to myself in two ways. The autism community and autistic burnout. And also the MBTI (INFP) community and the Fi-Si trap. First off, autistic burnout. I got myself in that state over a year ago. Enter me graduating high school and going to university. A decision that, in hindsight I really should’ve put far more time and effort into. Political science wasn’t it. Uni was one big, noisy campus. A bunch of new people who weren’t really my type of people (I felt like the odd one out, far more than usual). A way of working that I quickly grew to despise. I absolutely hated the research related subjects. One of them in particular. It had weekly assignments and I absolutely sucked at follow the very strict, restrictive and suffocating rules. I guess some people in the community would thrive on such strict rules. Not me. All that is a recipe for leaving, right? First, though. We went to visit my brother for a week, who was studying abroad. And while still on the airport, I suddenly got hit by this feeling that I had to go back to… uni. Ugh. A couple of days later, I kind of broke externally and I said that I hated it there out loud. I did stick around to give it a shot, still. I actually made the first two tests. Scored pretty well on both, even though I had a hard time putting my mind on proper preparation. That only made me more confused. In the end, I did quit. After actually not attending most classes because I just… couldn’t. I was done. And well, my first burnout. Hopefully not one of many. I pushed myself to do something I quickly grew to hate. I was naive to think I’d still have time left for creativity. And my friends… But I didn’t. This ‘doing too much’ then quickly transitioned into doing basically nothing. NTs would probably just find a job for the next few months and do a whole lot of other stuff… I couldn’t do any of it. And that made me angry and disappointed at myself. I just quickly started doing next to nothing. Tired even after sleeping quite a bit. No energy to really do anything, yada, yada. If you clicked on this video, you need no explanation on burnout. I’ve done a few productive things this last year, but… not much. I didn’t write nearly as much as I wanted. I just didn’t put as much into my special interests in general. And I wasted a large chunk searching for a new course whilst heavily masking and thus not pursuing what I actually wanted to do. I was actually on track to head back to uni. No thanks. And it’s been tough to find proper help. That one isn’t my fault, at least. Things look promising with the coaching I’m doing now. I did start cooking. And I’ve gotten quite good. I started driving lessons a few months ago. That’s going rather well. The best thing I did was searching for all these autism videos. I needed explanations and despite having been diagnosed at that point, there clearly was a whole lot I didn’t know yet. So, I suppose I could kind of take back my statement of not doing much on my special interests. I did a lot of research on autism. And on MBTI types, which initially was a tool for me to start clearly defining characters I’m writing and keeping them consistent. And after I while, I ever got to understand the cognitive functions. I’m partially able to be gentle and forgiving with myself. But other times, I feel worthless and like I’m not good at anything. It’s frustrating to see my peers race me by in life. But, at the same time, I know I shouldn’t go too fast. But I shouldn’t be going too slow either. My pace works best for me. The aforementioned Fi-Si trap is kind of this state of not going out into the world to explore much. So, my MBTI type is the INFP (Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving). And my cognitive functions stack is (in order) Fi (Introverted Feeling: This is being in tune with yourself, your sense of being, being individualistic and oftentimes artistic), Ne (Extroverted Intuition: Basically looking out into the world with curiosity, coming up with all sorts of usually abstract ideas, links and whatnot), Si (Introverted Sensing: Basically stability, routines. All that) and Te (Extroverted Thinking: Hard work, getting things done on time. Executive functioning. I’ve learned that the first function is basically a strength that’s used and becomes obvious pretty early on. You automatically kind of mastered it and it’s just… innate. The second function needs developing and nurturing, but will lead to a better self and a more fulfilling life. It’s the ‘parent’ function that needs to stay in control of the ‘child’ function. The third function is said child function. It’s basically a weakness because you overuse this one. Now is a good time to mention that the 1st and 4th, as well as the 2nd and 3rd functions are each other’s opposites. And it’s when you use one, you don’t use the other. You flip the switch, so to speak. If one function is introverted, the other is extroverted. And thinking/feeling are opposites, as well as sensing/intuition). The fourth function is a weakness because you don’t tend to use it. You’re not inherently good at it, but you can get it up to a reasonable level. And using it well on occasion does make you a better, more well rounded version of yourself. So basically, this Fi-Si trap is being really deep in your feeling, doing a lot of (over)thinking. And you’re staying in your comfort zone due to Si. And you feel that need to go out there (Ne) gnaw on you, because it’s something you need. But I don’t easily leave my comfort zone. I don’t have to leave it all the time, but I know that leaving my comfort zone, despite the times I’ll fall flat on my face, is what I need to move forward. But also… autistic burnout… So yeah, the energy, motivation (and especially executive functioning) is often lacking. So, I suppose it’s all about trying to find a balance.

[@TTchopsuey]

I’m new to your channel. I’ve not been officially diagnosed but I’m sure that I’m living with autism, ptsd, ADhD army 47 yrs old. I’ve watched several of your videos and you’ve brought so much light to my world. Your voice is soothing. Your microphone is perfect. Your aura is light. I have a lot of watching of videos to do. I listen to you in my left ear while I work. Thank you for somehow ending up on my feed! 🤍

[@SmackedyDoo]

I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome so, unfortunately, heavy or weighed items are painful and usually too hot. It takes so much physical energy to move without weight that wearj g heavy clothes is exhausting.

[@nicolemitchell1999]

Where is your video about the difference between burnout and depression? I can’t find it!

[@hannahmitchell87]

Watching on desktop, the pop up came for me in the upper right corner at 15:44 but I can also click the 'i' in the same place, which links to it at any time. It's also linked in the description under the video :) HTH

[@illyriarose]

What water bottle brand do you use?

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I like Ello a lot. Found them on Amazon and Target

[@tyttihalme8526]

Rich people have brand names on their clothes, but happy people have cat hair on their clothes. 🥰🐱