3 Proven Ways to get ANY Favor From ANYONE! Persuasion Secrets Revealed!

Learn 3 powerful psychology secrets that will allow you to highly increase the odds of getting what you want out of people! These persuasion techniques are used by master negotiators to consistently get what they want and now you can do the same!
Get "INFLUENCE" and learn all about the secrets to persuasion here:
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"Compliance Without Pressure" and the foot-in-the-door prinicple
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I do not own any of the footage from "Might Morphin Power Rangers" or "Pawn Stars." They are being used in the video for the purpose of explanation under the fair use law.
TIMESTAMPS
02:05 How To Apply Persuasion Into Your LIfe
03:00 The Foot in the Door Technique
03:55 The Benjamin Franklin Effect
06:50 The Psychology of Labelling
10:15 The Concession Technique and How to Use it
13:00 The Late Checkout Pattern
#psychology #persuasion #behavioralarts #negotiationskills #negotiations

[@willwetherington]

I got a job last week using some of these things. I asked the manager how he was doing. Then I asked him for a small tour of the department I was applying for. Then I told him thank you so much for the tour and that he'd be doing me a huge favor by giving me the job. I'm waiting on my paid card and the background check to come in.

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Dude! What a wonderful application of these techniques and a great example of how persuasion can benefit both sides! You got the job and they got a fabulous new team member 🤗

[@alinabelousova]

So easy?! :D

[@jessibell2627]

When I worked as a cashier at a grocery store we used to fundraise for different cancer research, and we would compete for who could get the highest amount if donations - and I would win every time. Not only did I raise the most money, I got the highest number of donations, and nobody could figure out how I did it. I learned a couple tricks through trial an error. One, simply asking if they would like to donate today is vague and gives them too much leverage to say no, I can't. Also, they don't want to think about how much is enough so they dont appear cheap but not too generous either. I picked a figure they could not say to, one dollar. If I ask someone if they want to donate one dollar, they feel like a tightwad if they say no. Trick two, is to make sure you ask it so the person in line behind can hear you, and repeat their answer. People don't want to look like a douche in front of strangers and get judged. It kinda makes it a 2 against 1 because you know the person in line is hanging on their answer. My third trick was, if the person still says no, I DO NOT ASK the person behind them in hearing distance for a donation at all. Because they just heard the person in front of them say no, it gives THEM permission to say no also. Most of the time, the person will continue the trend set by the person ahead of them. The more people in your lineup who hear your customer say yes, and you repeat YES?! THANK YOU so much! And the next and the next, the more likely they will continue the trend. If someone says no, consider everyone in the lineup at that moment contaminated. Wait for a new person to start asking again.

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Wow all really great and scientifically backed methods 1) is foot in the door. “Even just a dollar would help” is a great way to get that commitment 2) social proof! A pillar of persuasion. We behave the way people around us behave! 3) the BRILLIANCE of negative social proof! Do not announce what goes wrong! So so so many people make this mistake. You’re a natural genius! No wonder you won every time

[@jessibell2627]

@@TheBehavioralArts thank you so much! (Did ya'll hear that in the back? j/k) Your confirmation means a lot! I have always loved learning how and why people think and behave the way they do. While my cashier job was over 15 years ago, my education is in veterinary nursing and it involved four semesters of animal behavior studies and behavior modification, which I find equally fascinating. How we learn, how our physical and social environment influence our behavior, and the spectrum of human behavior from our most basic animal instincts to complex higher thinking I all find utterly fascinating. Your channel has recently captivated me and I have learned a lot! Thanks again

[@cattoes1609]

@@jessibell2627 I too love this channel for much the same reason. I have worked professionally with pets for 40+ years and the human animal is as fascinating to me as the animals I work with. Lol.

[@penelopefp]

Omg....this has to be one of my all time favorite comments on this channel!!!! Clearly you are a natural!!! When they ask at the store if I want to round up my amount for xyz-donation I say, "thank you, but I donated to our school book fundraiser," or whatever we recently donated to. I feel like it keeps the atmosphere positive for them. I waitressed (breakfast food) years ago and we were always doing challenges on who could upsell breakfast drinks. 🙄 We didn't serve alcohol so it was the biggest profit item on the menu. I am not a big juice drinker so I didn't push the bigger drinks and I never won. 🤣

[@holembac]

Just one exclamation, WOW! 7 emojis, 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳, 6 words, YOU are indeed a born genius.

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Hey everyone! Hope you enjoy this video which is quite a bit different from the analysis videos. Important note to keep in mind: there are two massive differences between persuasion and manipulation. 1) with persuasion either both sides win or one side wins and nobody loses. With manipulation, one side wins at the cost of the other side who suffers material or emotional loss. 2) persuasion does not involve lying. Manipulation is often based in lies. Persuasion is part of our day to day lives. Every sales interaction, every negotiation, every date, and countless more social situations involve persuasion. Learning these skills can really be helpful in navigating social situations as long as they’re used with care 😊

[@boristhabane4326]

How did you learn this?

[@boristhabane4326]

Do you have any good book recommendations on persuasion?

[@TheBehavioralArts]

@@boristhabane4326 a LOT of this was part of my degree. I have a BA in sociology with a minor in psychology. But for practical persuasion, any of Cialdini’s books are terrific. Chris Voss also has great stuff on negotiation.

[@privatepo5876]

This is why I love you!

[@privatepo5876]

Robert Greene’s book Art of Seduction also touches on same concept you just mention. How I train my sales people on making connections and closing deals

[@cizc8526]

About the quizz, my answer would be RECIPROCITY, whereas you do someone a small favor (as opposed to asking for one first), probably to increase your likability (there, they’d label you as likable), before asking for the favor you’re expecting from them

[@RavenNicole89]

Reminds me of that episode of the Office where Dwight keeps doing favors for everyone and saying “you owe me” 😆

[@pjparkjd]

That was my second choice after racquetball.

[@retiredrebel]

He’s running out of content, it’s BS, projection from subjective non reproducible studies.

[@jinx.rhodes]

Oh you’re good 👏🏼

[@cinthyahooijboer2515]

I thought about reciprocity when he said it was the opposite.

[@sm5574]

One thing to keep in mind is that this primarily works with people with whom you have a positive or neutral emotional connection. For example, if your boss is upset with you, asking them to forward that email may reinforce their belief that you are disorganized or unreliable. Or, if your neighbor knows you called the police on them, good luck borrowing a cup of sugar. My point is NOT to say Spidey is wrong. Rather, the point is to strive to have positive relationships, in case you do need to ask a favor at some point. You never know.

[@HupfDole87]

If you have a shitty relationship with sb. its best to throw them off-guard :D I love doing that. If they come swinging, Im twisting their words or put the blame back on them. Neighbour was loud as fuck and I called the cops on him and he approaches me in a pissed manner? No worries I throw sth. like "my kid was finally sleeping, after being severely sick and your damn noise woke it so it cried its eyes out again and we had no sleep whatsover and that little baby was in pain thanks to you. Do you seriously come at me for shutting off your making-sick-babies-cry-and-suffer-ass?! Just an example, this one didnt happen and I dont like using my kids for my shady tactics. I love doing little things to move the other person into a direction I like. Sometimes its just for nothing but seeing if I am able to do it. Sometimes it has an agenda. Doing it on the spot is difficult though. It helps if the discussion takes long so I can thing about what I want and what I wanna do while holding up the normal discussion. This has another bonus: If you treat discussions more like a challenge it becomes fun. I got over my stage freight like that. If you lose you live to try another day. If you win you won :D If I lose 10 times in a row it means jack shit as long as I won the 11th time. Or 25th time. That 25th person will thing Im awesome and doesnt know about the 24 fuck ups.

[@eynta2]

I agree. And timing is extremely important!

[@EmiliaZochowska]

Yes, exactly what I was thinking. Also: does it even work on narcissists and psychopaths? People who do not need or want to “be nice” and don’t accept your labels? Cause asking them for a small favor means that you need something from them and they can now control you.

[@awright119021]

@@HupfDole87 😳

[@HollyHeartsBooks]

My speech level just increased to 99

[@BrotatoGang454]

My brain went to video games as well XD

[@jkrammer1205]

Skill cape unlocked

[@carolynwilliams6738]

Another thing I will throw into the mix here, is that manners and courtesy go a long way when trying to negotiate, convince or get help with anything! A simple, please, thank you, words like appreciated, so grateful etc also help. Stay calm always and use your manners!

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Absolutely agreed! 100000%

[@MaynardLongarmQuilting]

Yep! My Grandma always said you can attract more bees with honey, than vinegar!! 🐝

[@angelabernhardt6761]

I remember learning about these techniques while getting my Psyc degree. The professor told a story about a student who, after listening to and participating in the lecture, came up to the professor and said “I participated a lot today in class. I think I deserve an extra 100 points to my grade.” The professor responded “I’m not giving you 100 points! I’ll give you 2 points.” It wasn’t until the student walked away that the professor realized what happened. Lol Also, love the shirt Spidey. “Intelligence is the ability to adapt to…” I couldn’t see the bottom of it.

[@mherweg]

I found it - it's "adapt to change"

[@deeb8733]

Where can I get that shirt?!

[@antoniageorgieva9610]

I’d like to know too :)

[@mherweg]

I had just searched for the part we know, added t shirt at the end and got an absolute ton of results with purchase links.

[@O2life]

Great story! I hope the prof ended up giving the student at least 5 points for that.

[@baileydubs]

This makes so much sense. When I help out on phones at my job, when a customer says how helpful I’ve been, it makes me go above and beyond for them because I want them to continue having that feeling about me. Weird, I never thought of it that way!

[@warriorqueen8235]

Bingo! I have done this for years with phones and doing customer service. I love the fact that it has a trickle-down effect as well. The moment you speak to a person and tell them how much they have helped you and how kind they are, their day is changed and it's likely they will want to help other customers even more. I know this from being on both sides of those conversations. :-)

[@Spangletiger]

As a caller, I make a point of expressing my heartfelt gratitude. Even if I need to make a complaint, I check my emotions beforehand and recognise that I am still asking a person for help with something! I'd like to think that this would be my default attitude anyway but, a few years spent being that person on a switchboard and occasionally taking calls from less-than-pleasant customers, instilled a lifelong appreciation of how challenging and underappreciated that role can sometimes be!

[@cathryncharette1224]

Partly I think it’s pleasant to help appreciative people and when people are angry and entitled we just want to get away from them. I do more for kind people, less for aggressive people. It’s conscious.

[@susansaunders249]

I work with the Humane Society raising awareness and money for a cause that is near and dear to my heart-combatting animal cruelty. I think that my authentic passion goes a long way toward encouraging people to get onboard, but what else can I do? I tend to fold easily because I don’t want to be a nuisance or a burden.

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Susan! Do you have a team of volunteers that you work with? I will give you all my virtual persuasion training for free! The safety of animals is more than a passion for me, it’s a calling. It would be a pleasure for me to do a virtual hangout with you and your colleagues and help you with this end!

[@savannahphelps4614]

@@TheBehavioralArts I love this so much!! Animal advocacy/rescue takes a special kind of person

[@tracyaf6084]

#3 my husband calls moving the goal post and it’s why he chose our 1st daughter’s name. We were arguing back and forth about 2 very similar names so he suddenly started suggesting really different ones. All of a sudden his original name sounded great. The second kid I knew his trick and held strong so her name is my pick ☺️

[@thebodylanguagebookclub-SamD]

Loved this - really appreciate how the scientific studies/books were discussed to give each technique the context. I’ve accidentally used the labelling techniques on my children ‘ah wow you’re so super organised’ and hey, they get super organised and it becomes part of their identity 🥰 - I would like to try the third technique now for chores too - you could tidy your bedroom and bathroom today? Nope just your room? Sure ❤️❤️ Thank you!!! This could be a game changer for parenting teenagers…until it comes back to me in the future - mama can I got out until 4am? Nope 2am it is then… 😳😂

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Hahaha. Great examples you listed there! And yeah, concession principle is very present in our day to day life. Even just recognizing when it happens can be helpful 😊

[@indrajukame]

Haha, funny! It doesn't really work for me. If I've decided my kid has to be at home at ten, it is at ten. But I'm not too strict on the other hand, so they don't really have to use that. 😂

[@traciedavis4575]

My mother always told me to "label" men with how I wanted them to act so that they would one day act the way I wanted.

[@alinabelousova]

@@traciedavis4575 Did it work?

[@traciedavis4575]

@@alinabelousova Yes, it works all of the time.

[@jenn8179]

I use these when I need to ask my kids to do something. I often give them a choice, either one they choose is good for me. "Do you want to clean your room before or after dinner?" Either way, that room is getting cleaned. Now I'm not going to pretend it ALWAYS works. my oldest is 9 now and she will say "Well...neither" 😆 I need to improve my technique!

[@TheBehavioralArts]

That’s an entirely different technique called a “double bind” 😊. With concession, the first ask is much bigger than the second. If they are of the same magnitude it’s a double bind. Great technique

[@jenn8179]

@@TheBehavioralArts SO maybe..."would you like to clean the whole house for a year...OR...clean your room 1 day a week?" 😆

[@TheBehavioralArts]

@@jenn8179 boom! 💥. Get ‘em! 😆

[@jenn8179]

@@TheBehavioralArts that....is magic! 🤣

[@truetexan2011]

Wow, what a great video!! I’ve read a handful of the persuasion books and they’re all so amazing, but it’s usually a lot of words/content for each of the application points. This is such a concise video with lots of real world examples that make it so much easier to apply some of the topics from those persuasion books, thanks for making this!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳

[@liezl713]

I've seen that if you ask them how they are, and then REACT to their answer in a positive way, it's even MORE effective. I'd add: "I'm so happy that you're doing great." Or I more commonly say: "I'm so glad, it makes me so happy when people are doing great." Which is absolutely true, and you see a much greater positive vibe between the two of you if you actually take interest in their answer as well. It makes people feel more listened to, and it feels like you genuinely care about their well-being and not just asking a "routine" question. In my profession "how are you?" Is a very common and overused question, and actually reacting to their answer just perks everyone up, including me.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Interesting. One of my tips for coaching clients who are getting back out there and starting to date, is to ask someone they are interested in to hold their sweater/ jacket while they carry drinks back to their table. They can then return for their jacket or sweater and start a conversation while thanking this person for their help. I instinctively knew that this person would feel good about themselves for having helped sweater gal, jacket guy. ;)

[@CassTeaElle]

It's so cool to hear there is actual research behind labeling, because I've always said this. And not just for positive labels, but unfortunately for negative ones as well. If someone has made a lot of mistakes, like for instance someone who has struggled with addiction, if people around them label them an addict or a screw-up, they seem to be a lot less likely to go beyond that label. I really dislike how often people assign so many negative labels on others. It's counter productive to everybody, because the minute you start to tell someone all they are is stupid or mean or any other negative thing, that's when they will stop trying to be anything other than that. It would be much better if everybody adopted this habit in a positive way, like you have. Imagine if everyone always went around assigning positive labels on everyone whenever they do something good. They would be inspired to keep doing more good, and the world would be a much better place!

[@StaceyAnne702]

When my kids were young we were a military family and moved a lot. I was always active in the local PTA or PTO. Whenever I managed a bake sale, I would make signs thanking people for their generosity and commitment to improving the school for their kids. I never asked for a specific amount. When asked how much, I’d respond, “We’re grateful for whatever your generosity. We accept whatever you’re donating to the cause today.” The sales I coordinated always brought in significantly more than their “typical” sales. Later, I started putting up sign up sheets at the sales for things we were having a hard time getting volunteers for. I would ask that the parents quickly sign up while they’re here. Now I understand what was really at work. At the time I believed it to be the inherent goodness of individuals. ☮️💜🌞

[@AlethaOberdier]

Yes! My kids recently did a lemonade stand where we asked people to pay what they wanted. Everyone was so generous! They made $25 in 1.5 hours. I may be biased, but I also think their cuteness was a contributing factor.

[@Julia-543]

Hey Spidey, thank you so much for this video! I took your advice in a few ways. Normally I would email because I get nervous calling people, but I waited a few extra days and called the person I needed to ask. I also figured out 2 options where they would do a majority of the work, so I could stop struggling with it. I explained the issues I was running into with the method I was using, and asked if they could do one of the 2 options instead. They were so nice, picked one, and are already starting it! This is a huge weight off my shoulders! I’ve been stressed about this for months! Thank you for sharing helpful information and being the wonderful person you are!!

[@lauriedi1]

I did enjoy this content. I'm going to try to incorporate these techniques more consistently- especially with customer services. Asking a small favor is a natural thing to do in so many situations and thanking someone with specifics is just the right thing to do. I'm not sure I can do the bigger ask though... I do really like your behavioral analyses very much and really look forward to them. I hope such will still be a major part of the channel. Your manner and explanation style makes for enjoyable content I trust. Be well, Spidey!

[@type.one.tess23]

Absolutely loved this! I'm always so nervous to ask someone when I need something big. Maybe this will help with that! I also know that when someone asks me something small, I'm like, "of course!" Then if they come and ask for something bigger, I'm much more prone to help them. Great information. I'll have to keep this video saved!

[@kaecstar6687]

So happy you’re back!!!💕💕💕

[@dumbshit9298]

Awesome! Thanks so much spidey! 🙏

[@yasmeenbeyhum]

Hi Spidey, I don’t know if you’ll ever receive this message ( you get so many :), but I want to say that you’ve touched my heart so deeply with this video and it literally has changed the trajectory of my life. Since practicing receiving yeses and generous consistency, it has opened something in my heart ,where my connection and manifestation powers just suddenly increased 10 fold. I immediately started to receive generous offers without doing anything in particular. The more thankful I became, the more I received and not only that I became more aware and connected to other peoples’ needs without them asking. Something Universally Good opened up for me and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. ❤️

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Wow! This is so amazing to read. I’m really glad you found something on the channel that inspired you to move forward and spread and attract positivity! I’m so glad amazing things are happening in your life 🤗.

[@brinabre3959]

More of this please! ❤️

[@jinx.rhodes]

I dig this so hard! I have some insanely lofty goals for myself in the near future. Namely, pitching creative ideas to development executives and prospective colleagues. I’m good in a room 😏, but mainly with humor, drawing people out, and putting folks at ease. I’ve got a LOT to learn in regard to persuasion and getting people on my side. Thank you for this Spidey! 💘 You just keep on giving me the goods, please.

[@jeraedublin6003]

Yes more videos like this please! Thanks Spidey!

[@sessionshannah]

Always love learning from you😊😊

[@naiils]

Charisma on Command speak of reciprocity as a means to getting something you want- such as asking to buy someone a coffee while you pick their brain about something they are incredibly competent at. There’s value in giving to gain.

[@bobbiechinn9578]

Absolutely want more of this!!! Thank u!

[@drebugsita]

Yes! More of these please! Much more interesting and relevant than any celebrity scandal analysis. I am sure I've done this a million times without knowing it just by default from being polite and kind to others but its still good to know and keep in mind especially when in a bind and dealing with someone who is being mean. I appreciate how you couch things in a very open way, I think it helps to bring out the best in all.

[@Kathy-zx5bu]

I always do the same thing because I worked as a healthcare professional for 45 years. I almost always have customer service people go out if their way. Also, people in person remember you and treat you more considerate. Don't know what word you are looking for but I worked in management a lot of years. I reversed your steps and was complimentary to the person, did a favor for them (bought lunch, etc) and then ask them for help with whatever I needed. It always worked. Kindness and respect seem to be the key. Thank you.

[@AndreaLivieriPhoto]

LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT! I read "Never Split The Difference" three years ago by Chris Voss, and it was a game-changer book for my business and how to interact with others. Please, more of this, Spidey! You rock, man 🤘😀

[@richsturdevant5188]

Love this channel, Spidey!!!! Keep up the great work.

[@katmarano2347]

Yes, please give us more like this. I’ve learned a lot from your videos and greatly appreciate all the time and effort you do to put them out.

[@sabianf]

Spidey, I love how you're sharing validated, effective techniques. 1-concession, 2-labeling, 3-exaggeration, then 4-the-real-question. You're one of the most credible, unbiased, and educational people I've found on KZbin. Would it be too much to ask your thoughts on 2 things? 1) What's the difference between directly asking for the ridiculous thing (concession) as opposed to framing it (indirectly mentioning it, to anchor it, before making your real request) 2) What do you think about using Chris Voss's "No-oriented question" in conjunction with step 4: asking your real question? (The language pattern that Chris says gives people a feeling of safety by them answering "no")

[@rnswann6324]

I would like to know about those points, too.

[@cecillyrowe6339]

I was wondering that too...but r.-------------- doesn't work!

[@NicolaMaxwell]

Love you Spidey! Was great to see your wee Hermann. 🤣🤣 he is too cute!💜 thanks for this. Have a magic weekend you lovely soul. 💫❤

[@mncheng]

Hey Spidey, I’m a music teacher and this was highly validating! I’m often using persuasion to coax my students into playing a tougher piece, or to practice more, or to give their best effort, or to give their song one more good try. Labeling is incredibly useful… the moment they demonstrate what I’m looking for I label them with it and they’re loathe to lose that label! I will attempt to use the consistency and and concession techniques too. Thanks for the great tips!

[@GfnWiz]

I love this so much. The “Lifesaver” label or some similar label, kind, honorable etc., is something I loved using when I was a therapist. Trying to get 18-25 year-olds, to go to work and just be kind even if they hate being there was always such a challenge. The biggest thing was the improvement in the moral of everyone involved. Even work satisfaction in the “miserable” patient.

[@harryevans1111]

Just used this system yet again today! My car broke down an hour before Firestone closed, I had to wait for a tow truck, and they don’t have an overnight drop off. Now what!? I called them up and was super nice to the person who answered. Then: Ask 1 - Can you please help me figure out the cost of replacing a car battery? (Once completed): Oh wow, that’s so helpful, thank you! Ask 2 & Label - Also, can you help me with the price of replacing breaks? (Once completed): Thank you so much, you’re a lifesaver! Ask 3 (the real ask) and Overask - Hey, one more thing. I’m waiting on this tow truck, and he said he’d be here 20 mins ago but now he’s running late. I know you close at 6pm, but would you mind staying an hour or two late to take in my car when I arrive? (She hems and haws but says she wants to help) Hey, the guy just texted and said he can get me there by 6:20 at the latest. Any chance you could squeeze me in? Guess whose car is getting fixed as we speak :)

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Wow! Absolutely nailed this! Love everything about the way you structured this and at the end of the day all they remember is a really courteous and kind customer. That’s persuasion at its best! 😊

[@harryevans1111]

@@TheBehavioralArts thank you! Always appreciate your videos and what you do. I’ve turned at least 20 people on to them, and between this channel and Behavior Panel, it’s becoming such an addiction that I’m going to have to start a Behavior Anonymous group ;)

[@redarkhunter]

Is it Reciprocity ? Like if I do a thing kind for someone, they will be more willing to do the same in return ? By the way, where are my manners ... Thanks so much for your videos and your work ! I watch you daily and your my happy pill 🥰

[@chelsealara1881]

I really enjoyed this video! I've enjoyed the breadth of your content so far, and I appreciate the continuing diversity! I do have a question about the timing of the techniques: does it only work if you follow up the small favor request with the larger favor request immediately, or can there be a time lapse between the two? Does the labeling work with a time lapse, or is the effectiveness based in the immediate follow-up? Thank you for what you do! I find your content fascinating and quite enlightening. I appreciate the way you present the information, always keeping the science close at hand, but articulating in a direct and understandable way. ☺️

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Great question. It depends. If the two favors are related, time in between can actually help! Like in the famous Freedman and Fraser study they dramatically increased the odds of homeowners allowing them to put a huge sign about driving safety on their front lawn if weeks before a researcher asked them if they can put a tiny sticker on their window about safe driving. The reason time delay works here is because during those two weeks, the person begins to identify as an advocate for safe driving. By the time the researcher asks to put the big sign, the person is thinking “heck yeah! Of course! Im the king of safe driving!” So if the two favors are in the same direction; time helps! If they’re not, it’s usually better to do it right away. So, marginal little favor: followed by bigger favor. This is the Benjamin Franklin technique. He used it all the time

[@chelsealara1881]

@@TheBehavioralArts Thank you for the reply! Such an interesting example! I also want to say that I appreciate your pinned comment, and the distinction you make between persuasion and manipulation. I often worry over asking for things or favors because I worry about how it will come across to the other person. I think that exercising these techniques, even on a smaller scale (micro favor: mini favor, haha) will help me with overcoming those negative feelings, and building confidence as well. Thanks again!

[@O2life]

As far as labeling, for children at least it works well over time. There was an excellent small, but controlled study done with groups of kindergarten children. In a school with two kindergarten classes, they gave all the kids wrapped candy on their way out to separate ckass recesses, then counted the candy wrappers left on the playground. The numbers were all quite similar to begin. Then, in classroom A, the teacher labeled the children neat and tidy. The study continued for several days or weeks, with the classroom A teacher repeatedly telling their students they were neat and tidy. Finally, they repeated the original situation: giving students wrapped candy on their way out the door to class recess. Children in classroom A left FAR fewer wrappers on the playground at the end of the study than children in classroom B (the number there was about the same as in the first day). I would imagine these results are generalizable across age, but I don't know for sure.

[@mariee.5912]

I love this, Spidey. Thank you for sharing.

[@Dylan-go5iv]

I really loved this. I already knew about concession and asking for small favors but I still learned a ton from this video alone.

[@kathycook8786]

When anyone asks me for "favors" or gives me compliments, my gut reaction is to avoid contact with them. Whether you call it persuasion or manipulation, to me it's a sales tactic to "get" either my time, my free labor or my money. I take offense when people use tactics with me.

[@DestinedToLoveTarot]

Agreed… because I’m a salesperson and I automatically know that this shows me that they are about to try and get something from/out of me!

[@DA-ee1xi]

I feel exactly the same way. My walls go up as soon as a salesperson tries the fake polite/friendly approach. I know they want something so would much rather they get straight to the point instead of wasting time with their bs tactics.

[@zoritzspetridis8731]

I get what you are saying but sometimes is not that obvious. Some people intuitively know how to do that, they know which words to avoid, which words to use, etc. that helps them create a positive communication. Other people, less intuitive or non native speakers like me need to learn these technics. I was at the mall the other day and I was scooped up by some sales girl (and funny enough she was a non-native from a known middle Eastern country). She was so good, the only reason I was able to escape her grip was because the mall was closing. My point is, I would rather know the more effective ways of communication and persuasion than the alternative.

[@Kringlelicious]

I think it depends on the person. Generally I try to be kind to those around me and empathetic to their life/work situation. To me it's just being kind, to them it may come off as something different even if I'm not asking for anything extra. That being said, I'm generally a person who becomes extremely suspicious when someone is nice to me. Even if they don't want anything obvious. I'm working on it, because while being guarded and cautious is a positive trait, treating kind people with doubt and suspicion is a cruddy way to feel and live.

[@carochan86]

It depends on the person. The eye contact of that person can tell you what their up to . Also just knowing the person helps too. I think I'm such a pessimist that I think "ok they want something".

[@robertareason7299]

Loved listening to this, my thing is as soon as someone says can you do me a favour my answer is no. I don't believe in them and prefer honesty over deception.

[@vickywitton1008]

Me too

[@apacur]

What do you mean you don't believe in them ?

[@robertareason7299]

@@apacur growing up if you did a favour for someone it meant that they would return you one, well people stopped that practice so I stopped doing favours. I don't ask a favour nor grant a favour you want something just ask straight up. I guess a favour nowadays is paying it forward.

[@eynta2]

I have a question for you. Would it make a difference in the way they asked for the favor? I'm just curious because for me the moment someone says, "Can you do ..?" I immediately want to say no because those words sound pushy to me. But when someone says, "Would you mind if I asked ...?" It's a softer tone and I'm much more willing to listen to the request.

[@robertareason7299]

@@eynta2 "would you mind if I ask" can go in a few directions and I'm always willing to listen, I just refuse to do favours. Honestly people that know me know just be honest and ask for whatever the answer is either yes or no .

[@camiloiribarren1450]

So this is what lawyers and con artists are good at. This is so helpful because it helps us shy people to get a good response

[@yourconnection9303]

I ABSOLUTELY want to hear more about this type of content. I love and appreciate all of what you teach and share on your every one of your videos! Thanks a 💯 MILLION and more!!!

[@rheap129]

Reciprocity? You scratch my back, I scratch yours? What I'm thinking of is having done a small favor for them first? I'm interested to find out what that next tip is. I didn't realize I do at least 2 of these all the time naturally, but not knowing why. As an attorney, I usually ask my clients what they want (usually in a monetary sense) and advise them to go higher. My reasoning has been that the other side will almost never say yes to that demand, and the negotiation will move naturally to a lower figure. I am not the best at asking for favors, but when I have to, I always end with "You're the best!" "You're a lifesaver." or something like, "What would I do without you?" 😂

[@raghvendrasinghsengar8360]

THIS IS I WAS WAITING FORRRR!!! BOOOMM!!! I thought we are gonna continue the body language

[@waltertx.6020]

YES! BOOM! 💥🤯

[@raghvendrasinghsengar8360]

@@waltertx.6020 BOOM BOOM YEAHHHH BABY

[@thestudentofdhandho5302]

Loved the video, Spidey! Please make more like this alongside the nonverbal analysis 🙏

[@genevievechua8753]

Awesome Spidey, thanks for sharing! Great tips to try and yes would like more of such videos 👍

[@sharmalarm]

I’ve learned so much from this channel and others about how easily manipulated I have been throughout my life, for which I am eternally grateful. These tips are interesting and helpful, though, I think this type of format should come with disclaimers and reminders of how to use these persuasion techniques responsibly. We live in a world where we’re constantly being taught to manipulate ourselves and each other all of the time, mostly completely unconsciously. Remember that these tips are essentially a form or art of manipulation. Be ultra aware of how you use them and when you may be exploiting others for your gain.

[@kaldemvor]

Disclaimers and reminders aren't going to change the minds of people unethical enough to abuse these techniques.

[@marczellk]

When you drive a car do you have to tell someone not to run people over? People will use good intentions properly

[@nomadchica]

@sam sharman - i appreciate this comment! :)

[@sharmalarm]

@@kaldemvor sure. I’m referring to the more impressionable people who are here for their self-development. It’s easy to manipulate and exploit others in this wonky world without even realising it.

[@sharmalarm]

@@marczellk hopefully not, no. But that should be obvious. This really isn’t.

[@arjuntanwar6375]

Being a long time viewer I've seen it on the other channel before, still there were things that I forgot. I love these kind of videos where we get to learn how to use the knowledge Also could you do me a small favor and tell the time... Thanks Spidey.. um by the way would you bring back the mentalist series breakdown it would be awesome... Thanks (Now lets see if the tips actually work😅) Edit:- I just got Snape's line in mind ("Dare use my own spells against me Potter 😁😁)

[@scrantonstrangler8301]

You forgot to say... You are so awesome and amazing for teaching us these techniques that we can use in our every day lives. (😉 labeling)

[@AimeeAimee444]

You’re so approachable and authentic. I enjoy your analysis and breakdowns but you are a pleasure to learn from. Thank you! 😁🙌🏼

[@jsmum196]

Yes, thank you! I really appreciate these videos! You are concise and give a lot of honest, intelligent and helpful advise. Please do more!!

[@willowtree6657]

I find asking for a favor extremely difficult- in fact I have rarely ever asked.

[@darkienl5886]

My guess for the final technique is to do someone a favor before asking one. Without research, but this is what I guess happens: - They owe you something because you did something for them, so they feel like they have to do something in return - It increases your likeability, because you helped them, so they will automatically like you more Not sure what the term with r is though

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Yep. Pretty much nailed it. The term is “reciprocity”

[@darkienl5886]

@@TheBehavioralArts awesome!

[@karendonovan4539]

love what you're putting out Spidey - addicted to yr channel, thank you!

[@kamurablade]

Yes! I love these type of videos, we all learn so much from them. So, yes, keep them coming 😁. This was a good one, these are tried and true favorites of mine and they do work. Looking forwarding to your follow-up video! There are so many other techniques to persuade people to do you favors. I dont know about everyone else, but as a mother of four, I find that reverse psychology still works really well on them and they range in age from 19, 16, 15, and almost 12 years old. 😉

[@CraftyComeLately]

R is reciprocal? And how do you get husband to wash dishes. Definitely enjoy this content. And I also think the test small favor is to even see if they are good follow throughers...many people say "sure" but then forget or get distracted and then it would be more awkward to remind them they forgot and now it's a negative experience...also I think the asking how are you and hearing good or great is a great screener. If someone answers they are hanging on, or another day another dollar or something else negative, they are less likely to want to give you day off assuming they are my boss and hate their life and job...and maybe they even might have to answer 1 or 2 calls when I am not there.

[@yourconnection9303]

How to get a husband, wife, kids, dog, etc. to cooperate and get them to do things? Praise!! Praise others for even little things. It is a fact that even a plant will grow better with praise! 😊

[@goosebump801]

Is the word “Reciprocity”? This would be the opposite of your first tip. Instead of (or in addition to) asking for a small favor, do something small for the other person before asking for the main thing you want. This often creates a feeling of gratitude (or indebtedness, to a small extent,) making the other person more inclined to help you out in return. The implication as I see it is, “I’ve shown you that I’m a kind person. Are you?” Examples: 1. A detective will offer a soda, a candy bar, or a takeout meal before getting very far into an interrogation. 2. A server may write a small note (e.g. “Thanks! - Steve,” or “😊 - Erin”) on the back of the check before dropping it off at your table. I believe studies have shown this tends to increase tips. Whether or not this is what you were looking for, I’m very interested in hearing your next video on this topic. Thanks, Spidey! You’re so kind to us! 😊💐

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Yep you nailed it. And more so than the note, servers use little candies given with the bill and the research on the effectiveness of that is amazing

[@goosebump801]

@@TheBehavioralArts Woo hoo! Thanks for the validation. I thought about the candies too, but then realized that those might be given out by the restaurant, on all checks. I couldn’t think of a time I was 100% certain it was thanks to server initiative alone. Thanks again for the great content, Spidey! 💐

[@TheBehavioralArts]

@@goosebump801 so in one particular study, the waiter would come by with the candies, walk away, stop turn back around, smile at the patrons and drop a few more candies. The increase in tips was remarkable! And much higher than if the waiter/waitress had originally given the increased amount to begin with. Reciprocity works best when it is spontaneous and personal! 😉

[@goosebump801]

@@TheBehavioralArts That makes so much sense! Spontaneous, personal…and noticed. I mention this because my husband often gets so wrapped up in whatever he’s talking about (or thinking about) that he may register the presence of the check, and possibly the fact that some candies are present, but would take no notice of additional candies being dropped off. He can be extremely observant of others or his surroundings…but not when he’s focusing 🤦‍♀️😂💐

[@rnswann6324]

Thank you for this wonderful content! 💖 You make this info easy to understand. I retired from sales a few years ago, but have returned out of necessity to cover living expenses. I was a good salesperson by nature and years of experience, but now a more competitive edge is required to keep up with more savvy consumers. I am looking forward to more of your videos like this.

[@miagoranzon8254]

Thank you! You ARE a lifesaver! 🙏

[@robinwildheart5321]

This video has helped me with a current situation. Not really about asking a favor, but getting out of a roommate situation. I think it'll make it easier for both of if I approach with, "You've been a good friend for a long time. I want us to continue being friends but I don't plan to renew my part of the lease." The lease ends in December. I'm aiming to say something in the next few days. Any advice on this is appreciated.

[@Spangletiger]

Giving your roommate so much time in which to find a replacement is really considerate. I'm sure that you're planning to do this anyway but, you could offer to help with finding your replacement, helping to spread the word, being available to keep your roomie company if they are nervous of being alone with strangers, or even offering to help show someone around for them. If you offer to help with the process, which you're likely thinking of doing anyway, this will probably go a long way to reassuring them that you are still committed to your friendship. Also, be sure to schedule a catch up with your roomie soon after your move, even if it's just a call. Whether or not your decision to move has anything to do with them, it can still feel a little like rejection if they're a sensitive soul, or else, they might simply miss you. This advice is coming from the world's worst person at keeping in touch with people! 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

[@robinwildheart5321]

@@Spangletiger That is very kind and thoughtful advice. Thank you.

[@Spangletiger]

@@robinwildheart5321 You're welcome!

[@Spangletiger]

@@robinwildheart5321 Just thought of something else you might have already considered doing to ease the transition - involving your roomie in your move. Even if moving just involves lugging a couple of bags across town, you could ask if they could help and offer them a home-cooked meal, or takeaway, or an opportunity to explore your new turf together, in return.

[@robinwildheart5321]

@@Spangletiger Thanks again! The thought of asking for help moving sounds to me like it might be pouring salt into an open wound. However the thought of serving a home cooked meal in the new home has already crossed my mind and I do think that would help the friendship move along even if living together doesn't.

[@mustbegoodtoknow6545]

Loved this! Thank you. Yes please more content like this would be brilliant. You are so clear and clever in delivering these tips.

[@carriepicard8328]

Love this! We love all your videos! I appreciate how you explain and teach us. Thank you!

[@CONEHEADDK]

No wonder I've "been unlucky" so many times. If I asked for 5 grand for a bike, and the guy offered me half, I'd just say "No thanks", and it would die there. I'd be ashamed to ask for more than a reasonable price, and would expect him to not be offering, far less than a reasonable price (in his mind) so in mine, we obviously saw things to different to agree - case closed.. Offering me less than "reasonable" is a sign of lack of respect, or attempt of decite, in my brain. And then what else might be wrong with the product/service aso. Same when a salesman uses my name more than needed - total turn off. Maybe it's my narcissist detector program from growing up alone with a dad from 14, that was puuure egoistic ace whole.. I do tend to be the first to see through fx manipulating teachers, also getting me into trouble and getting lower grades than deserved.. A part of me does envy the ace wholes though, but I'm just not made for that behavior.. :/

[@jenniferwarhawk7301]

I'll also say that this kind stuff mostly doesn't work on me. I'm sure I've fallen for it at some point, but, in general, it doesn't work. I can usually sense when someone is trying to manipulate me into doing something and my defenses fly up and I'm far less likely to do what someone wants me to do when I feel like I'm being manipulated. I think maybe living nearly 45 years of my life with abusers has made me immune to most persuasion tactics.

[@biharcourt]

Video is about persuasion not manipulation.

[@jenniferwarhawk7301]

@@biharcourt It's a pretty small difference. At least in my opinion.

[@MrThekikster]

😂

[@GingaFairbairn]

Spidey loved this video! There are so many gems you so eloquently describe. Thank you so much for this and looking forward to more of this nature. Blessings and gratitude. :)

[@Cool.Cat.Flannegan]

Love these kinds of tips. Yes, please more like these! Thank you for sharing.

[@raghvendrasinghsengar8360]

Answer: RECIPROCATION

[@vibehigh5280]

For me this is like a very subtle way or more positive way of coercing someone into something that you want them to do for you. I dont know, but Im kinda not comfortable with this technique. The question "how are you?" Is being used not really because you care about other people, but more on because you want something from them.

[@Meowpower142]

This video is incredible. I used to work in sales and learned a lot about sales psychology and some of these concepts I’ve never heard of, but a couple I used regularly. I used the “Hey how are you?” Technique to keep people on the phone (also spoke in a excited tone while also speaking intentionally slow) and the two options technique to get the person on the phone to book an appointment with me. Might have used more during the sales but it has been a minute since I’ve worked in sales. Love these!!

[@ellapierre3606]

Yessss please so excited for more of these, I am in sales so helpful!!! Thank you

[@jeffwhalen1978]

Intelligence is the ability to adapt to... What, "anything"? I can't see the bottom of your shirt. Haha. Hey, Keep killin it Spidey!! These techniques are priceless!! P.s. I'm diggin the Ace of spades on your wall.

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Haha “… adapt to change” 😊

[@carolwilson6113]

It's hearts

[@rebeccadunham5909]

I was going through the comments to find out what the rest of your shirt said as well🤗 Thanks for the info👍🏻

[@WastedPo]

I wonder what the "long term" effects of this strategy are. I have no doubt that these techniques improve the chances of someone granting you a favor in the immediate here-and-now. But I wonder if repeatedly availing yourself on people will ultimately make them see you as helpless, or a burden. And an offshoot question: Is there any way of using these techniques on a daily basis to be more "listened to" in general? Or are these techniques just something to use sparingly for isolated events.

[@TheBehavioralArts]

These are great questions and admittedly I use these mostly in one off interactions like at a hotel or airport or retail store. I think your instinct of not using this too often is a good one. Learning the language of persuasion, in my experience, makes people much more effective speakers and leaders on the long run.

[@nikkimiller200]

@@TheBehavioralArts I feel like my kids know these techniques inherently!

[@nicoleheatherington4365]

Love love love your channel including your articulation and delivery

[@suzanbahl8385]

My guess on your fourth persuasion technique is reciprocity, a mutual exchange. I love all of your videos and appreciate how you explain things in simple language. That is a trait I value, and use as a professor.

[@Jamstaro1]

First get them to say Y Second get them to say E Third profit Wait instructions were unclear my hands trapped in my zipper and there's smoke.

[@sssodaSoap]

Reciprocate :)

[@raghvendrasinghsengar8360]

Great catch!

[@sylviechartrand407]

Yes, more of these. Amazing ! Thx u:)

[@valentinadannunzio]

Spidey I just love all your videos so much!

[@kocerarif]

This heading has given me the hint that it's time to end the subscription.

[@raghvendrasinghsengar8360]

Man, don't end your subscription, Spidey is extremely great guy he never encouraged "Manipulation" nor he teaches it, he is just teaching persuasion, which is we all do, and we always do as human!

[@darkienl5886]

Where is the border between persuasion and manipulation? I often use techniques to persuade people, but I feel kind of bad because I'm often afraid that I make them do things they don't actually want to do

[@Oettam_187lbs]

Great point, I relate so much. I definitely never use any with anyone in my family, in fact.

[@TheBehavioralArts]

With persuasion one side or both sides gain but nobody ever loses. With manipulation; one side wins at the cost of the other side who suffers an emotional or material loss As for the fear of making anyone do something they don’t want to do. Negotiation is part of life, it’s everywhere, every day. Nobody is telling you to make someone do something they don’t want to. It’s not like asking for a small favor is going to lead someone to sign over their bank account to you, but I personally don’t see anything wrong with being a better negotiator.

[@taniaalvarad0]

loved this video. thank you for always creating such great content !

[@melissaharris5932]

Thank you for this, Spidey! I just shared it with my son who's recently started in mortgage lending! I'd love more content like this!

[@_Sakina_1]

Love this so much, can't wait for the 3rd tip!!

[@donnasalvador678]

This is a really good video. I’ve never studied anything like this but I’ve always had an interest in how the mind works and it’s connection to our hearts. Years ago, (early 80’s) I had a garage sale and it was a very hot day in Austin, Texas. So I put out large signs saying to come inside and cool off, no need to buy anything. On a table, just as you entered, I put out homemade chocolate chip cookies and ice water under a sign that said FREE. My thought was that most people don’t like to take anything for free without giving something back. I sold every last thing I had for sale and was asked to go find more things to sell. I don’t think there was even one person who didn’t buy anything. I’ve since used this strategy for many years and it really works. I also put higher prices than I wanted on everything. I knew people love to get a deal, so when they offered less, I always took what they offered. Then strangely, they’d buy more things.

[@effiekyriacou4351]

Loved this. I find these videos and the content very interesting, especially as we can implement into our lives. Funny enough, I am already doing it without having the prior knowledge! Thanks Spidey!

[@randibeal8591]

i cant get enough of this stuff!!!! lol! thank you spidey!!

[@hollybunde3064]

I love this type of content. Small practical tips to use every day. Would love it if you made more video's like this!

[@Olive47223]

Yes, please more helpful videos! I love the behavior analysis also but these tips are great. I so appreciate you, you're a genuine wonderful person.

[@kamichat]

I am totally here for this content, Spidey. 🙌 I love Chaldini's book as well. I love how you use persuasion ethically. It's powerful and I know you are the kind of person who won't abuse it!

[@AshesOfRoses]

Yes! More of thee videos please! Great information!

[@momof3779]

Yep! More please- thank you

[@nishantchoudhary5497]

I just realised that the 2nd tip has been a part of my habit for a long time. I remember that almost everyone in school used to have some degree of respect for me without making any extra effort from my side, all because of my gesture and habit appreciation & respect even for small things.

[@nataliegarcia5810]

Love this video… I am always amazed at how kind people are to myself & my family and now realize that we do 1 & 2 regularly. I am commenting 4 months later but I’m guessing the 4th is reciprocity because if someone does something for me, I’m generally eager to return the favor or I may have feelings of obligation. I’m hoping to find the next video soon.

[@tracywofford3384]

I have been a top sales person for decades and little did I know that I was using powers of persuasion and not even realized it! I am also a youth trauma counselor and work with families so I have had to learn to persuade and influence them in order to successfully complete treatment. These are great skills to help others as well!

[@lisasim]

Wow, what an eye opener. This video is fantastic! I have a PhD in biology, but almost zero skills in persuading anyone to do anything for me. I learn new things every day and you're definitely one of the best teachers! As for the opposite word, is it repudiation? Lol, I'm making myself laugh 😂 and will be waiting, patiently, for the next video on this subject.