3 Things: Friendship w/ woman who still want love, Deadbeat dad story, Some reasons men marry

[@amberinthemist7912]

There's nothing worse than being settled for. These cowards lie when they do this. None of these jerks are telling their "mediocre wives" they don't love them until they end up cheating with someone they actually like. It's disgusting and their wives should be allowed to sue for fraud.

[@AskDarlingNikki]

💯 exactly all of this. They are opportunistic animals and yes they should be said. I’ve often considered suing.

[@rebekkagasmi9451]

Exactly!!! 🎯🎯🎯🎯🙏

[@KeishaOnthe6]

And the men that women "settle for"?

[@amberinthemist7912]

@@KeishaOnthe6 sure if those women also do nothing at home and only bring in half the income all while cheating and bringing home sti, only to leave later for a younger man and abandoning their kids in poverty with a single dad. But I haven't seen that happening often....or ever.

[@KeishaOnthe6]

@@amberinthemist7912 so it's okay for women to settle for men as long as they don't run wild? I thought the settling was bad in and of itself; your being okay with it sounds unprincipled AF. Also, not every settler (of ANY gender) cheats/contracts STIs or STDs, leaves, or neglects domestic duties. Funny how women who tell tge world they're victims for existing always have to add more sauce than Ragu for their narratives or counters or whatever. It's weird AF.

[@nubiankhaleesi2945]

To be honest, I find the majority of men are TOO LAZY to really look for the woman they really WANT-- so they proceed to get the one they don't want and try to MOLD her into the one they wanted all along. Like liking oranges but go and getting an apple and tryna make it an orange. It makes NO sense. The more I hear these videos, the more convinced I am that is all about CONTROL stemming from LAZINESS.

[@AeriaGl0ris]

That makes sense. Why put in all the effort to find the woman you really want and are compatible with when you can mindf*ck someone into being your little puppet or slave in the relationship? And so much the better if the woman happens to be someone with little to no self-esteem or has mental problems that make her vulnerable.

[@TheePrincessBrat]

Then dump the apple, when an actual orange comes around and blame the apple for being an apple.

[@RebelRosers]

Africa 🌍 boys are raised to take care of the family. Maybe we and and the Red Pill manophire MGTOW are the same. If he's traumatized because his partner would provide 100% that's the definition of laziness

[@TheePrincessBrat]

@@RebelRosers where in Africa? There is still emphasis on tradition and men being providers, but outside of that, many are still very awful men. There are still plenty who are deadbeats, but it’s more frowned upon than in the West (imo)

[@venda1008]

I agree they are sooo lazy these days that’s y I checked out of dating 5 years ago

[@rellie_90]

I don’t lecture male-centered women, I leave them be because I know their ministry isn’t my ministry and it would be a waste of a conversation, argument, etc. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@Genorgin]

Yep I just don't wan't them to be around me tbh it's draining and can put you in danger so many stories i've heard of the female friend being killed / injured by their friends ex bf/bf there is this story in the uk where this boy stabbed the girl's friend because the friend rejected him so sad she passed away.

[@potchainwax9960]

I don’t see a problem talking to women who still want love but talking to women whose life revolves around men is tough. It can feel exhausting. Every conversation has to be about dating and constantly hearing them deal with men that are treating them wrong but knowing they don’t want to leave those situations.

[@RebelRosers]

Some say we and Red Pillars are the same

[@addy.r5311]

@@RebelRosershow? their philosophy comes from entitlement to women and belief in “hypergamy”. we’re just trying to live our best lives away from men trying to unalive us or make our lives miserable.

[@seabreeze4559]

tell them it sounds like a hostage situation that never ends, bc it does

[@rtphotos4691]

That's my neighbour. I stopped talking to her because I got tired of hearing her complaining about her dusty man, then the next day he's moving in, only for the rest of the building to hear her throwing him out on a weekly basis. Enough.

[@TheGhostofAbigailMills]

Ooh, that second story brought out the WORST in me .... I'd have laughed in his face the second he told me he had cancer. That's an awful thing to do, I know, I wouldn't do that to someone with cancer. But the thought of a whole deadbeat reaching out, out of the blue for a "relationship" conveniently when they get sick? Nah, sorry, you worked for decades to make SURE you got to perish alone. Now go do it.

[@kittykatz4001]

I’m loving “soon you will be 💀 to everybody !”

[@Jamnj1]

Almost like, ok, so?

[@attitudeproblem6462]

I’d have told him I hope he and his cancer will be very happy together.✌🏾

[@videofan1010]

I can relate wholeheartedly to the struggle of relating to women who still have hope for love, while believing that love is really rare myself...

[@Blech-h9z]

I struggle with this within myself. Wouldn't it be nice if?.....yeah, that's not gonna happen.

[@blkberrymolasses]

​@@tearsofminait really is

[@videofan1010]

​@@tearsofminaIs it rude that i find their hope annoying? I don't know - I try, lol.

[@helena3631]

This

[@nussknacker9827]

It's caused by an entire childhood being brainwashed with fairytales. I fell for it, too. It was a rude awakening

[@TheePrincessBrat]

Wow the answers from and they’re still whining that relationships are harder for them. Wahh I have to manipulate, use, and dehumanize women because otherwise I’ll be xesually frustrated. Feel bad for me. Reason #2355 why I’ll never have a husband. So shallow and shortsighted. Let me have a wife that’ll see me as full person from beginning to end, and even if things were to fall apart.

[@PapiyoneVineland]

Why are we even caring if people who don't see other people as humans ever get a fullfiling relationship?

[@TheGhostofAbigailMills]

My best friend is male centered. I've been there for her through the trauma and foibles a man puts her through - she recently broke up with her fiancé who (among other things) gave her an STD, didn't visit her in the hospital after a car wreck, didn't comfort her when her brother was murdered, used her for money, food, shelter, transportation, stashed drugs in their home (this was all within the span of 2 months btw) ..... And even after all this, she's struggling against the desire to "reconcile". Male centered women are exhausting, and I hope she realizes that one day. I don't begrudge her desire for love. I just wish she knew her life doesn't have to revolve around a man to get it, you know?

[@EmpressAcended]

She probably blames the women he cheated on too… a very MALE CENTRIST quality. SMDH… I empathize with the exhaustion.

[@TheGhostofAbigailMills]

@@EmpressAcended Exactly. And when there's no external woman to blame, she blames herself for not staying, not being understanding enough, etc. Again, exhausting. I had to distance myself a lot while they were together.

[@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254]

Which one was the first thing that happened?

[@paracoco1761]

Male-centered women can even put you in danger if you're friends with them. I had a friend who had an abusive marriage, got divorced and immediately jumped into another bad marriage. She used to give me the worst unsolicited relationship advice like telling me to give a chance to a stranger who stalked me for 5 years. She was adamant that it's a sign of true love that he tried to creep into my apartment building multiple times after I blocked him online. I had to cut off this friend for the sake of my own safety.

[@arlett6477]

All my frirendships are breaking up with those girlfriends who are struggling with men either in marriages or just dating. I can't listen to these girls anymore. What boggles my mind is that until the men don't leave - the women never leave them, just go through trauma playing flying monkey roles worshiping the men. I literally resent them and grieve my friendships, I am angry and I don't understand how they are so stupid. My biggest issue is that they are basically lying and being contradicting everyday for their 'delusion' and minimize the weight of everything making it impossible for me to even listen to them anymore.

[@coachannaesq]

“Ironic, since her daughter’s look like pit bulls.” The way that I hollered and the scream that I scrumpt! 😭

[@nbucwa6621]

Out loud! I swear!

[@FireSilver25]

UGH. I was usually the hot GF with a mediocre guy AND I was dealing with a lot of unhealed trauma. The guys who latched onto me exploited my lack of self worth and self esteem and tried to lock me down with marriage and kids ASAP. They knew I was out of their league but also that I was very wounded. I cringe so hard when I recall all that! I always got away but they wasted so much of my youth and beauty plus they saddled me with more trauma. Even though I hated them and showed it they’d often try to hang onto me with negging, manipulation, seggs, etc. Or if they did let me go I was so trauma bonded I couldn’t let go. So many men, and boys, are just selfish predators. Dunno if it’s nature or nurture but it’s a thing. They didn’t care what I wanted for my future or what I even felt if it differed from what they wanted me to feel. So much control and manipulation. All you younger ladies best BEWARE of these predators!

[@TheePrincessBrat]

I used to be like that, but I didn’t realize how attractive I was and that I could pull hot men. Now if you don’t make me salivate, im not wasting my time. Men don’t give women they find unattractive genuine chances. They might choose her cause she’ll be a loyal and good partner/parent, but they’ll never be faithful and will probably leave eventually. I hate whenever guys whine about how hard it is to be an ugly man, then women rush to coddle them. “It’s about personality. I wasnt attracted to my bf at first but etc etc”. No he’s ugly and therefore needs to go date on his level, just like they expect women to do. Foh

[@FireSilver25]

@@TheePrincessBratTHANK YOU!!!!!!!! Women are just as visual as men (IMO anyways) when we have the choice!!! But we’re gaslit about it.

[@TheePrincessBrat]

@@FireSilver25 everyone likes pretty things. it’s human nature, women are shamed out of it so we’ll settle.

[@PullthaleverKronk]

@@TheePrincessBrat Yesss be all the way real 😆

[@silververnallbells191]

@@PullthaleverKronk I'm super cute! So for me a man has to be as hot as Jungkook or I'm not interested. edit: check out his Calvin Klein ads... 👀

[@OneTwo-yw4ij]

Well I understand what she's saying. Women that ignore reality will endanger you and act like you're not thinking clearly when you express yourself. To me that's very male identified. That's how men act. As if we don't know what we want, we'll change our minds later, etc. They even get angry at logic and facts.

[@RebelRosers]

1 out of 10000 women are unalived by a man every year

[@madarawijerathne276]

Last story these men are purposefully being incomplete expecting women to complete them. Meanwhile women are complete only wants companionship most of times. And they believe women as incomplete as them waiting to be completed by them 😅

[@islandgirl8067]

1st story. My BFF always said I was crazy for not caring about men. Many years & failed relationships later, she’s still hopeful. I admire women who can remain optimistic about men. 2nd story, the gall of these deadbeat dads. I burst out laughing when my mother suggested I look for my sperm donor who I haven’t seen since I was 10. 3rd story, I’d rather be alone than to know someone settled for me.

[@amourtabb7859]

Its crazy they think they're the victim when the pick someone they never had anything in common with. If you don't like someone don't date them and if you meet someone else break up

[@ButterflyBree]

Second story: She's not the a hole. If your sperm donor been missing in action for most of your life, let them continue to be missing. I fully support going no contact for egg or sperm donors who abandoned their children.

[@seabreeze4559]

including absence from important events but only showing up when THEY want

[@joyofdance999]

I'm surrounded by healthy and wholesome relationships in my family; my own experiences have led me to prefer being single. Part of this is that my sisters and mum are able to make compromises that would have galled me. Nothing at all wrong with their compromises, more with my ability to let go of certain things. I don't know that I can be a good partner, as I am continuing to heal from my past. There are awesome, self-reflective men out there, and one must trust one's intuition to find a true partner. I'm still opting out. I'm also very happy, and these conversations have helped me recognize how much my experience compares to others'. Good healing and growth and love to all of us ❤

[@TheePrincessBrat]

I noticed that too. A lot of women are able to maintain their relationships by making sacrifices/compromises I never would. Or overlooking imbalances that would eat away at me.

[@DianaPrinceitiswhatitis]

1. Male centered women are keeping hope alive that men will change and be better human beings. Let that be their struggle. For those women that are opting out protect t your peace and heart keep pouring into yourself. 2. He would be getting cursed out and a restraining order. Where are the heffas and folks he prioritized over her as a minor child? He needs to go seek out those people. He’s a narc and religious hypocrite. She knows he’s not ish and he abandoned her. His current circumstances are solely his own fault. Don’t go see him and let him pass away alone. Not the AH!

[@KicesiesVlog]

I worry for my younger cousin because I see her making a lot of the "mistakes" I made with centering men. But I've given it a LOT of thought and the best thing I can do is live as an example for her of what it looks like once you stop.... and I have to trust that she'll find her way just like I did!! If she chooses bad partners, she'll survive them. I have to believe this or I'd lose my mind with worry and trying to prevent younger women from making the mistakes I did (which wouldn't have worked on me.... so I doubt it works on them) Plus when we approach other women with "I trust you to make the best decisions for yourself" even if she isn't the best at making decisions.... it moves her in that direction. It encourages her to trust her own inner voice. It empowers. If I try and tell another woman that a decision she is making is wrong, I'm still asking her to substitute someone else's judgement for her own (mine in this case). So I can't do that. The message HAS to be "listen to your own internal wisdom. You've got this!"

[@TheePrincessBrat]

That zooted unicorn person was playing devils advocate a little too hard. Must’ve been hitting close to home. There’s a lot of truth to what she was saying. I worry for my sister because she’s straight and still wants all those traditional things. I just always hope she finds someone without going through tons of relationship trauma first. I have friends who still date men but don’t act like that. When you change you beliefs or lifestyles, unfortunately, that may mean you need to change your social circle too. If I get even a whiff of male centeredness, or hear some “I DoNt GeT aLonG wItH FeMales -but I’m fine legit sleeping with the enemy-“ I’m out, Idc. I’ve been through it enough to recognize how these friendships play out.

[@tae7119]

You might've just reminded me that I need to let someone go. I feel bad bc I'm her only friend but I can't wrap my head around the fact that she can't make friends with other women, but can meet random men online and go on dates and sleepovers at their place??? And that's only the tip of the iceberg (she's currently dating a man who has not only called her out her name, but has expressed dislike for me... I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS MAN FROM ADAM)

[@TheePrincessBrat]

@@tae7119 that is a huge huge red flag, that he hates you and you’re her only friend. Also, if you don’t share her mindset, he’s prob picking up on that. He has very bad intentions, I guarantee. I think to decide if you should end the friendship, weigh out what you put in and what you get out. Have you seen any concerning red flags? She may just be a quality over quantity type of person, with a dash of pickme. One solid friend may be enough for her, especially if she has trust issues. These are some questions that might help also, these are some issues I noticed with women like the ones I described: *1. Is she there for you when you need it? Does she seem engaged when you’re speaking to her, like she cares what you’re saying?* *2. Is she dismissive of your opinions, values, or interests?* *3. Does she put these men before your friendship? Does she only have time for you when something is going wrong or she’s single?* *4. Has she ever done or said anything shady to you? Or given backhanded compliments?* *5. Does she have more negative things to say about women than men? Does she have more negative stories about women?* _b. Does she seem to be more forgiving of men that wronged her than women?_

[@silververnallbells191]

EXACTLY. The moment I hear "I don't get along with females" I don't give them a chance or extend olive branches. I know what your about ms. ma'am!

[@silververnallbells191]

@@tae7119 He doesn't like you cuz you can bolster her self-esteem. He's trying to push her away from you to "isolate".. if he's already cursing her out then the ab-se will just get worse especially if she's isolated. Google "isolation leads to abuse" for more information then let her know what's up & show her studies, links, etc to back it up. If she still clings to this guy then absolutely cut yourself off from having to be dragged through drama, but give her a chance to see it in plain black & white in front of her.. just my suggestion.

[@rn2787]

When healing your trauma it's usually not a great idea to get into a new serious relationship. Therapy will fundamentally change your personality, world view, and values. The type of person you want to be with will change and the person you are with probably will not be a match. For long periods of time during treatment for the trauma you may not even want a partner. Being supportive of people who want relationships isn't a bad thing as long as they don't have their existence revolving around a desire for men. Having a man shouldn't shouldn't be the only thing or goal in your life. Your friends may not have trauma like you do or they may not be ready to heal and that's okay. If some of your friendships are not aligned with your current goals and paths you may want to distance yourself. It doesn't make them or you a bad person if they have a different path or you are simply not compatible with each other anymore. Wish them well and move forward in the nicest way possible. Remember that neither one of you are "bad" and one day your paths may cross again. Ending relationships of any kind doesn't have to be traumatic or a negative interaction.

[@TheePrincessBrat]

Omg it’s night and day! The people I would go for and the things I thought were tolerable

[@laurah2831]

Absolutely

[@Acehigh-Jenkins]

I’m sorry but if that dead beat dad said “I have cancer blah blah …I’ll pray for you”. I’d say “you needn’t bother, just put in a good word for me once your up there” and block! But I’m savage like that!

[@Blech-h9z]

And I admire you for that.

[@silververnallbells191]

Up there? I'm pretty sure men who abandon their babies don't go up.

[@Acehigh-Jenkins]

@@silververnallbells191 yep your not wrong!

[@seabreeze4559]

"God is taking the time you stole from me." THEN BLOCK.

[@Mary-gl1sv]

Off topic. LOVE this community. How does an elder F get home repairs, work around the house, etc...? Once, I had a locksmith hit on me when he knew why. Called the super of my building for heat. He said I need someone to warm me up. Creepy. One of many stories. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you❤

[@AG-iu9lv]

Story 2: I would have been like, cancer, huh? I've seen Royal Tenenbaums, bruh, try again 😂

[@ellisburton8733]

Never !!! honour those who have no honour. They dont deserve more than a second of your valuable time, life energy, intelligence, add your own words to this list. Lady Burb is spot on 'pour into those who pour into you'. From a 50yr old...

[@ursulatroxler7428]

I relate to her completely . I had a friend that constantly tried to fix me up with losers simply because they were men . Finally she stopped. I’m done .

[@ShalomDove]

I didn’t interpret the post as OP being antagonistic toward women who are male centered. I think she’s just trying to avoid being triggered by them. I might have been projecting a little though, because I am navigating similar issues. I am at the point where hearing the phrase “not all men” ( which a friend said to me recently) literally makes me angry, and I have to take a breath to avoid snapping at women who use it

[@vegasheart]

No contact is a wonderful solution for ridding yourself if toxic Family members. Parents included. It can last a year or a lifetime. It’s a great solution. People usually don’t change.

[@EmpressAcended]

6:45 🖖🏽EXACTLY same. I get it AND I’m married. 13:20 18:14 that’s why I don’t understand these men getting with these women solely based on their looks?! 😂 20:45 23:45 🎯

[@archiecook55]

1. Absolutely agree with you, it's up to each individual person to decide whether or not they want a relationship, and it's ok to have a relationship with a man as long as it is managed healthily and balanced with the other things in your life. Let other people be whichever way they choose to live. 2. Yup, "sperm donor" is an accurate way to describe him. If he really wanted a father/daughter relationship with her, he should've done more to build that bond with her as a child. Instead, he abandoned her. That's not a fatherly thing to do. NTA. 3. Yup a relationship that's only built on physical attraction and nothing else is not sustainable long term.

[@AndyyWithAY]

It seems like OP is dealing with the wrong people. Her thinking is very binary and not everyone fits in her neat boxes. I think she should befriend 4B women. But, you can decenter men and still want a relationship with men. You can still get married, have kids and do that. Burb and other women in this space have

[@luckycharm1212]

How can you decenter men and still have a relationship with them? You don't know what burb and other such women are going through behind closed doors. It's just her online persona. We need to take everything with a pinch of salt when it comes to the internet. Don't forget that these women who are running feminist channels are earning through it. They need to cater to their audience preferences.

[@kittykatz4001]

Or put up boundaries and perhaps spend time together doing something enjoyable besides listening to dusty m@n stories. 😮

[@addy.r5311]

@@luckycharm1212thank you. I don’t understand this idea that we can decenter men from our lives while also engaging in relationships with them, since relationships with men always revolve around their expectations. We know that if men aren’t fulfilled in relationships, they are less likely to leave and far more likely to just cheat or check out. I really don’t get how we are supposed to value ourselves AND have relationships with these men.

[@songbird36c55]

@@addy.r5311 I think for me de-centering men means different stuff for different people! I recently started to de-center men and I’m engaged to a man. I use to be more insecure about pushing men award or would prioritize appearance to attract men or give men entirely too much benefit of the doubt or dimer my opinions to not step on toes but I mo longer do that. I prioritize my appearance not “to be seen” but because it makes me feel good. It crazy honestly!! When I stopped “looking for love” I found my person. Basically to me it means not trying to cater to men and always think in the ideas of pleasing men but just being a nice person in general give grace that is warranted. lol sorry for the rant

[@silververnallbells191]

@@addy.r5311 It means you don't make the man your entire personality. Not everything is centered on him & revolving around his wants & his needs. You center yourself & make sure your wants & needs are taken care of first. This is what men typically do - look out for number 1. You say "if men aren't fulfilled in relationships... they're far more likely to cheat" This isn't true. Men who have everything they want still cheat bcuz of the thrill or bcuz of "new face/new p-ssy" or bcuz they never learned self-control. They're going to cheat no matter if you give them you're everything or not. Make sure he is giving YOU everything & sees you as valuable in his life. Make sure his actions follow his words. & if his actions aren't lining up them quickly dump him. There are PLENTY of fish in the sea.

[@Unapologetically_Savage]

I would have replied….new phone, who dis!! 😂😂😂 Boi Bye!!

[@madarawijerathne276]

1st story it seems like op's friend wants to be miserable together

[@Niccy26]

Deadbeat dad? NTA. I would have gone further. My sperm donor had better not try... But tbf I haven't heard anything since I called him a wasteman and told him not to f up his kids

[@queensavage9896]

The 1st story has similar views as the redpillers who talk about men who are "simps" and respect women. I think she is using her filter to color another woman's experiences. You can still yearn for romantic relationship without being male-centered. Just like misery likes company, so does self-righteousness. We all take different paths.

[@TenaciousD_3]

I agree

[@vonnii1013]

Red piller huh...cause the OP never told her friend to not date....I didn't see any thing that felt red pill-ish....both women are on different paths bottom line

[@queensavage9896]

@@vonnii1013 Interesting. I agree on the different paths- that is why I stated that in my comment lol. Just like we read to understand differently. Oh well. Stay safe out here sis! 🥰

[@vonnii1013]

@@queensavage9896 and i quote "he 1st story has similar views as the redpillers who talk about men who are "simps" and respect women. I think she is using her filter to color another woman's experiences" end guote....at no time the OP was bashing this women or shaming her for wanting to date....she said she did not understand her friend doesnt understand why she has opt'd out of dating... oh well smh u stay safe too lol smh

[@Orb-w3aver]

💎💛🎯

[@onycagayle4485]

❤

[@Niccy26]

That's a vetting qu: what do you like about me? What would you do if sex was off the table for an extended period of time

[@MoonBunny69]

Where is your reddit page link?

[@BurbNBougie]

www.reddit.com/r/BurbNBougie/s/CYLIAjW8q5

[@amyyaku5022]

S1: The more stories I hear of what women go through, the more I understand why women are opting out. But, I personally still hope for love. I've learned to focus on myself and other aspects of my life, but can't ignore how men have effected my life, both the good and bad. My father sucks and some men have hurt me. But other men have helped me, been my closest friends, even inspired me. The latter are the type of men I want to be with. Really I agree with OP and her decision to opt out, but Unable Pineapple's comment is where I draw the line. We shouldn't ignore the stats and history, but we shouldn't ignore the stats and history that prove the goodness of males either, regardless of being in a relationship or opting out. Even if we just look at our own lives, why are there women, feminist or not, in healthy relationships with men if there's no good to be found in men?

[@RebelRosers]

Manophire MGTOW also horror stories . Seems we're both hateful incels

[@sadejones6657]

Just because you want a love match doesn't mean you dont have past trauma regarding men. It just means you still believe there has to be at least 1 person for you.

[@RebelRosers]

We as mother's should love other women better then our sons and brothers

[@RebelRosers]

Women create life. So we owe them everything. Me. Create life so they owe us for creating us

[@RebelRosers]

Africa at least raises boys to take care of the family

[@venda1008]

Not anymore

[@risitascositas1699]

They are not taking care of the family when they beat & disrespect their wives, treating them like domestic slaves or when they cheat & bring home HIV to their wives.

[@risitascositas1699]

I've been watching videos of African women saying they too are giving up on relationships & marriage to men who only see them as bangmaid domestic servants. 4B is becoming global.

[@femmefatale71]

False.

[@RebelRosers]

What the difference between us and migtow. How do i kwow we aren't incels to

[@risitascositas1699]

Because we aren't whining on the Internet that men don't want us. We are forming community that says you are more than a sex object / broodmare / wife / mother / domestic servant. Embrace your goals, dreams, & selfcare outside a romantic relationship.

[@femmefatale71]

Because it’s a choice? DUH?!?

[@BlackRaven000]

This a dude

[@OneTwo-yw4ij]

Well I understand what she's saying. Women that ignore reality will endanger you and act like you're not thinking clearly when you express yourself. To me that's very male identified. That's how men act. As if we don't know what we want, we'll change our minds later, etc. They even get angry at logic and facts.

[@RebelRosers]

Feminist own numbers 1 women out of 1000 in year is unalived by a man