3 Ways to Stop Obsessing Over Someone in Early Dating

[@emaquist2963]

Video summary 1. Connect to the other parts of your life that give your life meaning 2. Have a clear vision of the kind of relationship that you want to have in the future 3. Back ourselves and truly believe that the right thing is going to come along in the future

[@juliafisher5844]

Thank you 🎉

[@meesamagill1193]

​@@sebnemnisanci I find it incredibly helpful as a check in when getting carried away in a relationship at the start. Its a way to check if you have made this all consuming and neglected the life that existed before this person and exists outside this person

[@kalash_nikov]

​@@sebnemnisanciYes and no. They are clichés, because they are true. The problem is, however, that they are presented as "WAYS to/to not". But the reason why so many rush relationship, get attached strongly, and quickly, is *because* they don't have those things in their lives (a meaningful life and historical proof that the things they want do show up). It's like saying "how to be in an NBA as a 300lbs person? First of all, be thin, 2nd - be athletic..." And no one week, or even one month retreat will change those things.

[@poojamenon1815]

@@sebnemnisancibut that’s the thing. If you are being successfully, pretty, athletic etc. everything to be loved by someone, it won’t work. If you do all of that for yourself then you get to meet someone you wants to be a part of your life because of how exciting it is and how much you love it. It’s true it works because I used to be the person who would do everything for everyone else. Now I love my life and want to be better and feel better and the guy I have been dating now is ten times better than my ex. That’s an improvement.

[@tinyelephant77]

Thanks

[@Lucynana6]

As soon as a guy starts giving me attention I start getting obsessed. I will start thinking about him the whole day. Since last year I've been focusing on myself and working towards my goals, because I know that I can't have a healthy relationship yet. My confidence is increasing and I'm starting to feel that I don't need to rely on anyone for my own happiness. Thanks for the content!

[@laurab5849]

same and its SO hard:(

[@cxlei]

I’ve been working on myself for a while now and I am more confident than I’ve ever been :) but boy do I feel that in my soul. I know where it stems from for me, and although I no longer feel so inadequate and insecure, obsessing over guys who give me the slightest bit of attention is like a habit and it’s taking forever to go away. I catch myself in those moments where I feel myself obsessing but I’d rather not be in that position in the first place. It’s tough.

[@JulieGiordano-zi8vl]

I love this

[@MaggieAustin-tl9hg]

Good for you! I’m starting my journey to increase my confidence in relationships, you give me hope ❤

[@Lucynana6]

@@MaggieAustin-tl9hg Other people can sense if you’re confident and will start treating you automatically better. Good luck on your journey 🫶🏼

[@minervag6777]

i've never seen any other human on the internet be so articulate and empathetic to his viewers needs and actual challenges. I've never heard anyone tackle the problem in this manner. Matthew really is incredibly wise! I'm so grateful to have found you 10 years ago

[@lisawins]

so true!

[@gdaymates431]

I do this with friendships. Sometimes i have to take a step back and honestly ask myself "what are they giving back?" And sometimes I realise it's a one sided friendship.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

squeeky wheel gets oiled. Sometimes people think everything is the way both parties want it because they have never heard an objection.

[@allieraquelYT]

Thank you for wording it this way! Easy for me to ask myself.

[@dfsw]

I feel I'm getting attached to a girl Ive been dating for just over a month but after watching these videos I realise she hasn't actually done anything to be attached to.

[@caly6527]

Would you say youre one to fall fast? Can you explain a bit about yours and her situation and how you feel and felt? Its so refreshing to have a man comment so i cant pass the opp to ask you questions

[@psi23k]

Same thing happened to me. I usually know what I want and go for it. Truth is, she made no effort at all and I thought to myself, well, she's not putting any effort in, why am I doing this? So I ended it.

[@shawnphenry]

I had the same situation recently. She moved the relationship fast but didn't want the future or effort put into me. She originally did but it faded quick. If you fall into limerance even marginally it's best to recognize and logically think it through. I know I go rose-colored glasses in person with someone like that. But they MUST earn it. Even if I don't have another available option at the moment...

[@brettsmith7651]

Matt, I love your videos. But they all seem to be directed at women. I wouldn't mind coming to your retreat, but the video I can't see any men. Is it for us, too?

[@baunilhahandmade5509]

​@@psi23kMay I ask you what exactly where you expecting from her? Before ending the relationship; did comunicate that to her? Did you give and opportunity to rectify her behaviour if she wanted to? What was her reaction? Excuse my question but as a woman find this case very interesting

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Start meeting the needs you are solely met by another person! You are scared to lose something you aren't giving to yourself

[@buda2049]

So encouraging, so inspiring , thank you Mat. I came with a conclusion: Never make decisions based on the past, believe in your vision. In early dating you are still testing, discovering, give yourself time❤

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Easier to avoid a crash when you aren't going 100mph!

[@leahmillar8255]

You’ve got to be able stop over valuing someone you don’t actually know and focusing on what could be when you need to focus on what is.. I do needed this video today. Thanks ❤

[@Elrinell]

Good advices that we should all keep in mind. However it's easier said than done , because when we fall in love we don't think the same way we're used to. It's so easy to let ourselves overwhelming by our feelings and emotions. Also there is that fear that if we're not giving our all, our best version immediately, the other person may think we're not interested enough and might just walk away

[@judeocean6586]

They won’t walk away if they are interested in you, they’ll keep trying to see you. If they walk away, it has more to do with them than you.

[@Elrinell]

@@judeocean6586 That's also the way I think, but the people I've met these past few years aren't like this. There are so many interesting people out there that if you don't "play along" and give them your best since day one, they'd just pick someone else who will. I noticed that nowadays people are getting bored pretty quickly, especially with relationships

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

if you fall in love quick, that's usually infatuation and not a deep love, because you don't know the person yet.

[@mstwilight1612]

I can say in terms of astrology, the advice Matthew is giving isn’t relevant to everyone. Cos Matthew has a Gemini Venus, for example, these people are self-sufficient and can easily live without love, cos their love is in friends and commmunication. But if you have a Cancer Venus or Taurus Venus like I do, relationship is the basis to give you drive in life, you can’t let go easily, you can be alone for years grieving over your ex. Taurus Venus is the most commited of all, love till death

[@patrickaustin3009]

The content you provide is extremely important. I got caught up in the pickup artist content when I was younger and yes I was able to pick up girls, but so many of those encounters were meaningless or led to drawn out connections that I didn’t value. This content is showing me that what I really need to focus on when trying to build a relationship with someone is investing in myself and being true to myself. The old adage of “be yourself” never seemed more true

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

It's understandable to feel validation if we are winning people's affecton but in the end it's usually a temporary high.

[@eaglerhitzph8329]

I really do hope to find a nice and family oriented guy to grow old with to take care and love for the rest of my life❤

[@estadenny8808]

THANK YOU! Trying so hard to remember all of these. I love that there are now transcripts! So helpful. I find myself overvaluing men for sure when they seem right for me. I love the reminder that we barely know anything about them. This came at the perfect time. Thank you!

[@wmtrade6328]

Order love and commitment spell

[@julievanzile2482]

Five months in and I am finally figuring it out. Still have trust issues from cheating husband. I thought I had to have a death grip on someone to keep them. In reality no matter what you do it wont matter. If they want you they will make it clear. I have learned you gotta let go of control. So so hard.

[@annapolyakova750]

The 3-rd point is precious! The right thing will come along. This is so true. I'm happy now.

[@stuarthtodd]

I've been seeing someone for the last couple of months. They have a lot of things going on, and from everything that I've seen I do think I'm falling for them. It's not something I frequently do, I won't lie but I do feel they are pulling away from me. I've talked to them and they say they aren't, and that they want this. There's a significant age gap between us, and they haven't had a proper relationship before. I know I need to slow down but I'm finding it so hard, because I always feel I have to tell them. Not a fan of being...vulnerable like this but sometimes, it's time.

[@daryavolkovaenglish]

It's absolutely about me! I got overexcited about a new man in my life during the second week of our relationship. But it has to be stopped now. Thanks, Matthew!

[@anadmc]

I hated when my tinder date obsessed over me.. 1) i knew it wasn't real 2) i knew the idalization was in his head and he didn't gave him a chance to really get to know me 3) i was the one who ended up hurt as hell

[@laureenbrandon7209]

Hope is what I had 5 years later I know I have to move on,but don't want to hurt them,feeling stuck,hard to put self first

[@SorinaLehaci]

The “Butterflies” that we feel, are the REACTION of our body to Red Flags. But, behind each Red Flag there is a Lesson. So, it is up to us if we choos to follow those Butterflies or not. If we feel ready and fit to deal with a Lesson or not, knowing that it is a Lesson behind a Red Flag, which will bring pain with it. If we also LEARN from the Lesson, the pain will be short in time and little. If we DON’T learn from the Lesson, the pain will be for a long time and deep, and the Lesson will REPEAT it self.

[@billbuyers8683]

I agree on his point about becoming obsessed with the shiny new love in your life and connecting with the parts of your life that you love. The same can be stated about food. Do you eat to live or live to eat? If you live to eat, that ends up being an unhealthy lifestyle. If you eat to life, your life is valued about the pleasure you seek.

[@theTchild]

Everytime Mathew speaks i nod. I wonder how he knows what to say in such a relating way . Thank you❤

[@gkenneth5662]

This actually helped me out a lot. Other videos he has made have helped me out a lot too. This guy is a really genuine, kind hearted, intelligent, well spoken, endearing and doesn’t hate women. This is a guy that is not only well informed, knows how our minds work, and want to help. Also his delivery is second to none…it sticks like no other. Love this guy!

[@victoriatrygg2821]

I noticed a lot of your videos focus on the start of a relationship. But I have to ask .. how do u handle the in love part? When your traumas start to appear and what are the common onces? Thank u so much for your videos ❤

[@serendipitytwo777]

Rings true, can't relate to attention at this stage. Burnt 2 many times. Disassociated now

[@shawnphenry]

Simple yet amazing content to help me in my struggles with limerance and dating. Exactly what i needed to be reminded of today 💛

[@magnaajube7784]

Mr Hussey! I appreciate you so much, you are really amazing in this advise you are the best. I have just made this mistake. You are crowned my relationship guru from this day!

[@Bow_wow001]

💓💓💓

[@bryonytargett7858]

This is so helpful and I can see I have made mistakes on all counts, been obsessing over someone I am getting to know as a friend, trying to force things to happen and he is not ready for that. I will get on with my life, we can remain friends, and what will be will be (easier said than done!)

[@jovycastillo3386]

Thank you Matthew,am a new follower and i really learn a lot from your videos

[@KatieKirkLoves]

I really needed this today!! Immediately saving ❤❤

[@rosegardens9701]

Its like seeing someones photos on date app you then fall for them meet up & you then change your mind you are no longer intrested so NEVER judge a book by its cover guide your heart's & emotions & ask GOD to lead you on the right path with the right person got to be wise ❤ John 3.16 🙏

[@molgengirl]

Thank you for this Matthew! This is something I need to work on. I just discovered you a couple of months ago when I found your book. I liked what I was reading and tried doing things a little differently than what I used to do before. I saw immediate results with just a few changes! I have decided to sign up for your retreat in October to work on deeper issues. I believe this will be a great experience for me. I’m looking forward to meeting you and your team!

[@amnans5916]

Some of us can’t bide our time Matthew. The window of having a family is closing on us. And we don’t want single parent hood. We want a structured family life to give our kids the best. We are running out of time. Biologically we are. Your advice is great for those who have the time. But what about us 35 and over? Do we have time? Do we give up on this hope and dream? Knowing fully well we are biologically capable of having kids but we can’t get that aspect of our lives going in order to have them.

[@LSB924]

I’m not MATTHEW however, I did want to offer you something to think about. I know your desire for children may be strong. I know that you may have always invisioned yourself as a parent. Nothing is wrong with that at all. What I would like you to think about is this: is it better to rush things with someone & overlook things that can ONLY be seen with time and have a child with someone that you truly don’t know just in order to accomplish a goal?or would it be better to trust that what is out there for you, will happen in its due time? I’m not saying be sluggish or unintentional, but maybe just re-evaluate your focus and intention. Sometimes things happen when we stop putting so much emphasis on it and dedicate our time to other things. ❤

[@camellia8625]

Whilst I understand your fear and strong desire for a family. Is it really better to rush into something on account of time running out and end up in a situation with the wrong person being your children’s dad. I speak from the experience of making that very same mistake myself; with dreadful consequences both for myself but also the resulting children.

[@katia-ww7bf]

Matthew, you always help me to calm down and take right decisions, thank you

[@AccountingFan2008]

Thank you for another amazing video. Now that I have finally started moving on from my last relationship, and after watching many videos (yours especially). I have actually invested more in the things that make the foundation of what I enjoy everyday, have been investing more in strong relationships which were already there & life interests/goals which invest back in me, revisiting old hobbies and these past few weeks I have allowed myself to let go of things & others that I should have let go of longtime ago. So, this last breakup did have silver linings. Your videos build up my confidence more, and I am a business person and love the business analogies you use in your videos!

[@nicolebarrantes6778]

How do this video not have million of views? This video has so many important points!!

[@dianagraf4894]

OmG!! Matthew, bless! This I should have listened/heard like 4 months ago, could have saved me 4 wasted months!! But I'm truly reminded and loaded with tools moving forward. Your videos have become my daily classroom. Thank you for your service to love. I'm growing daily!

[@sofie9416]

This right here I really needed to hear and it has really opened a new mindset Thank you Matthew for this

[@ShantaFuentes]

Really needed this video today! Got it on repeat

[@JohnsonToli]

I appreciate your video but still waiting for the right woman whom will love me❤❤❤

[@allmarknobite8726]

Timely advice for this guy, Matt. And spot-on. Thank you. 👍

[@thedragon-gr]

What a great speech ! I was exactly at that point when I heard you and "woke up" to reality.

[@kimwilliams6591]

This guy talks so much sense we have all met someone and we put everything into it but have they put in any effort in ?

[@donaldgansky5907]

Great video, with valuable information. Thanks

[@mariad1151]

Good advice for the young & beautiful lol. Don't be so sure, folks!

[@kirstisamuelsen3712]

Even if I know that I ruin everything. I still do it….😢

[@janedza]

Life saving, thnak you Matthew for creating these content.

[@tauriel1271]

I needed this right now, love you Matt xx

[@poorvik7256]

Amazing insights, Matthew....love the way you make it so simple for us to see the places we tend to ignore.....❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@kirstisamuelsen3712]

I have a good life I am happy. Still always get obsessed when someone rejects me.

[@dragonfly8149]

Great advice, perfect timing. I knew it but was just trying to work out how to put it into action.

[@AnyaLightHealing]

Very helpful! Thanks Matt! :)

[@Hir_zKhan]

I have a strong belief that good things are coming, but the biggest problem is my age. I'm 36 now.

[@carahenken4452]

36 is still young - you can find love at any age, and I say this as a 46 year old woman who found somebody great. Age has nothing to do with love.

[@Hir_zKhan]

@@carahenken4452 Awww bless you ❤️

[@KRISTA189L]

And what if the right thing hasn't come before, in our past??!

[@nickus51]

I have more problems with this months into knowing someone, when I get to know the other person on a deeper level. I know I have anxious attacment, which I am working on. But it is incresibly hard when everything seems to be going smooth, just so the other person suddenly pulls away.

[@SagittariusBabe87]

This is happening to me, currently. Just when things seem to be going smooth, he's pulling away, distant. I think I have anxious attachment, he may be an avoident. Things seem to be getting worse and strained, not getting better. I did nothing wrong. Only ask for communication to get better. It's getting less & less and I feel neglected & worried. Can't seem to concentrate. I wanted to go slow but, my feelings are starting to become stronger. He seems to be pulling away.

[@juliafisher5844]

UK retreat PLEASE Matthew 🙏

[@LSB924]

This is so very helpful. Thank you 🙏🏽

[@mahimaagrawal4182]

Very informative video as always, whenever l listen to you it really puts me on current trajectory of my love life

[@Brianna-yh7iy]

So true. Thank you, Matthew Hussey!

[@cherrylane79]

I rarely have a good connection with anyone, so I get carried away when I find that. 🤦‍♀

[@tyhursteyetc]

Thanks mate, this has helped, will watch a few times over the next few weeks.

[@mj-fb2wv]

I hope you visit Japan next, I really want to join your retreat!!

[@itsmetifft]

You had me until Florida🥴

[@InStitchesComedy]

Best advice, ever. ❤

[@juliafisher5844]

Did he just say lovemaking videos? 😂

[@natalinastella5144]

I agree with the general message of this video about having an abundant life that makes you a better more fulfilled happy person. I wonder however about forgoing valuable options for love that might cross your path. Will you regret those at a later time? Nothing in this life is perfect. No one in this life is perfect. Are we waiting for the perfection to fall into our lap and align just so with our culture or family or lifestyle? This culture has an illusion of too many options that we can always chase. But any relationship or person that is a good romantic option might mean you have to battle for them and for your love with them. I don’t see it as easy and falling in your lap. Look at a number of myths and fairytales around the world- was finding true love ever easy? Or did it take a journey full of difficulties to attain that person finally? To meet them?

[@museti-zd2ee]

Thank you so much for this video. Couldn't come in better time. Makes you stop, think, and pull back. Everything looks different for me now. Thank you again ❤️🙏

[@deerblood17]

My heart hurts too much she hurt me so bad that I don't even want to date again because I don't want to hurt like this ever again I tried so hard i just want to give up and die I love her so much but she will never come back 😢

[@mayacc8478]

I ended a three month relationship because he moved too quickly for me. Introduced me to all his friends, family, we saw each other everyday .. it was just a lot. I tried to communicate that we needed to slow down but he moved so quick it was challenging adjusting the pace of our relationship. I left out of frustration. We just needed more time.. I needed more patience. 😢

[@jullianamello]

This information helped me so much to have another vision of this process. Thank you very much!

[@taqwagondal8869]

It's not that easy broo😂😢

[@colorina416]

Amazing insight as always. Do you have any videos on what to do or say to someone when you’re feeling this way about your dating experience with someone? Especially if they aren’t on the same page of where we stand.

[@sarahcobner776]

Blimey … spot on … what a great video 💗

[@victoriathomas2691]

So needed! Thank you

[@yuanningshi1429]

Great video! I’m passionate and busy with my own life however still struggling to slow things down… don’t know what’s wrong with me really 😂

[@AaAa-fu8zk]

How are you doing dear bro I hope you're doing well thanks for your message God bless you

[@basanthassan1764]

Hey, I need a help My boyfriend is depressed right now and he ask me to leave him to make my self happier with another one and don't spend my time waiting for him And he told me that he lost the interest in all his life also in me too And he afraid if he pass this hard time not back in Love with me Could I leave him or wait for him???

[@wmtrade6328]

Order love and commitment spell

[@HenryJones1947]

🤔 If u have options and go after what u believe is the best option and then BOOM you've moved too fast.

[@jenniferschultze300]

Excellent, as always!

[@alishastudart8510]

I have been single for a long time and a lot of times people will tell me I’m a huge catch but they just aren’t in the space to date (lots of Peter pans out there). I think his advice is nice but I would I think it’s easier to give this advice as a man who does not have a biological clock. I’m 36 this year and though I do not wish to have scarcity mindset and do my affirmations daily in order to attract abundance it becomes very painful when I continue to meet men who are super emotionally unavailable. Love bomb me and take me for a ride. ive moved to a new city and when someone takes you for a ride when you dont have roots, friendships or established circles. i also think for me to wait to date until that happens is unrealistic. i would like to hear some advice in regards to how not to project our fantasies onto someone when we dont have this super amazing community or profession and our biological clock is ticking.

[@sonaleep5349]

🌿 Is there a video about the right things happening? like being on track in early dating and a healthy progression ... ? 😅 i understand it's subjective, but rough draft would help.... dating has gotten so confusing!! What is the right pace ?

[@adeleh.5584]

❤thank you. Invest in me to get the Best of me!

[@bymariagil]

I am in love with what you guys do. Thank you x3. I would like to give you some constructive feedback, from love. I find this particular video's editing, with the image going back and forth so much, very difficult to watch. I've never seen a video of yours guys doing this effect so much. I hope this helps ❤❤❤

[@kimk8869]

What is the price for this retreat? What’s included? Thank you. 😊

[@bianca-mhteam6237]

Hey Kim! Please email our support team at [e-mail] and they'll connect you with our Retreats Team -Bianca, MH team

[@iambryn2012]

I “talked” to this girl for months but guess what she got with another guy 5 months in. she knew I was getting with other girls but that just got different cause i was staying over since the first week

[@pamilahanuman7182]

Thanks you I love your message perfect Said

[@lightworkeredi]

Excellent ❤

[@eutrepe03]

that's again about limerence tendency a lot, in many cases. I wish somebody talk about it more

[@JDGxyz-t7c]

This is Sooo good.

[@gluteusmaximus5094]

i have a situation. i think i'm developing feelings for my coworker who is already in a relationship. we take the train every day, talk alot and really connect with each other. i would consider us friends but i'm having a really hard time not to think about this person.. is there a way of not falling for someone and just continue a good friendship without having less contact? or how do i manage not to give myself hope? because i think my hope is the biggest problem.

[@Antiparticipant]

People who are already in a relationship are NOT our loves of our lives. Go find someone who is -> avaible

[@janechapman7801]

Its difficult to hNdle sometimesif you are very attracted to someone if you can get to the state where you can actually speak to them not to feel like that. - having to have confidence is an issue for alot of people oarticukarly as it is already nerve wracking , over emohadis8ng confidence puts alot of oressure on people.

[@a.__mie7544]

needed to hear this today😅

[@kimkjrulff1731]

I wish i heard this 30 years ago .

[@yeimimartinez5594]

Me gustaría ir, pero me imagino que el retiro será solo en inglés.

[@afshan2629]

Hey I like this guy we are kinda know each other's from mutual friend I kinda like he is cute I added him to snapchat we talked a lot the first day but after that whenever I msgd him he would reply late in night but he would reply even in night. What do I do my best frnd said he is kinda shy 🙈

[@con4756]

Thank you

[@TheXinchew]

Thank youuuuu

[@sidneymitchley9827]

I need this can someone reach out I am in Australia Perth

[@Svetlana-ez3bn]

J adore cet homme 😊

[@anaisd3735]

The funny thing is the guy i am seeing is named matthew as well lol

[@Zugetzu]

Someone please help me understand why are there mostly women attending Mattew's conferences? Women are usually inundated by suitors asking them out all the time. They have lots of options. Their job is to identify the right person. Men on the other hand, have to do all the work.