3 Ways Women Turn Off Men (and What They REALLY Want Instead)

[@genevalivingstone1929]

Matt so true... 1. Ladies be feminine 2. Be beautiful not plastic 3. Lead with kindness and gentleness 4. Remember men need women. So don't act like men no need to compete. You are enough being you... 5. When we interview men due to our timeline he's not special he's just a means to an end... Meaning your dream exists outside of him not with him..... just saying😊😊😊 Matt you are awesome as usual ❤❤❤

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Geneva Livingstone YES beautifully expressed! Beware making a date a baby daddy audition ;) hahaha

[@genevalivingstone1929]

@@nofybn7794 you missed the point...

[@racheln5156]

O

[@racheln5156]

Please disregard, accidental post. Can'tfigure out how to delete it.

[@gracesubliminals]

The best relationship advisor in the internet

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Wow thanks so much my friend! means a lot to me!

[@marysunshine4730]

And so attractive!

[@mstamparong]

I agree💯🤗😘

[@firefly200]

Your voice is very calming...

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thanks so much! means a lot to get that feedback:)

[@riana8999]

If a man is so easily intimidated by me being me and if his ego is that fragile, he doesn't deserve to be in my life.

[@yougotmoxie571]

Damn... that's a little harsh

[@Mat_Shaffer]

we all get to lead with love and respond with compassion

[@debbyandersenweed2021]

I agree. Bunch of babies

[@Quiche543]

How's that working for you? Obviously not too well cause I'm thinking you clicked on this video!

[@katiee5944]

This is one of the best and most needed dating and relationships videos I’ve ever seen! I see myself in every one of your points and never even realized what I was doing.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Fantastic! Thanks so much! ❤️

[@kristine6996]

Love happens when it happens. It is a deep energy when everything is in alignment.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

beautifully expressed!

[@lisasinclair2748]

What do you do if you think/know you're falling (for like the first time in 20 years) and you're terrified?

[@MCAVideos6886]

There's a big difference between putting a timeline on relationship expectations and discussing relationship goals. It is uber important to find out early on - before emotions and time are invested - if, for example, a man never wants children when you do. Even dating sites like Match have these questions upfront to ensure people don't waste time. I disagree that you withhold asking such a question until a relationship develops -- then what, you ask once your heart is invested and you could be heart broken if you're not aligned?

[@Mat_Shaffer]

absolutely! Determining congruent values and goals early on is essential :)

[@captainswan3079]

My favorite male relationship coach! Thank you for your great advice.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Your kind words touch my heart😊

[@amandahyatt8532]

I love watching your videos, and they have really helped me. I used to come across as too independent, and closed off. I would make a point of showing that I can take care of everything and I don't need anyone, because I didn't want to be seen as weak or someone to be taken advantage of. Obviously that's just going to push people away, especially men. I've consiously been trying to change that about myself, because I've finally realized that real strength is in showing vulnerability and being open. I've met a guy recently whom I really like, and I've forced myself to not keep those walls up that I used to have, and now it's becoming much easier for me to be open. He also recently started opening up and telling me things that show me he's willing to be vulnerable as well. I honestly never thought I'd attract that kind of guy, the one I've always wanted in my life but would push away.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

amazing how courageous vulnerability creates more of the same, right? congrats it sounds like a beautiful connection :)

[@Mat_Shaffer]

CLICK HERE FOR A FREE TOOL TO CONNECT POWERFULLY WITH MEN! masteryofconnection.com

[@genevalivingstone1929]

Matt... Women are guilty of all three... 1. If she's hot..then she's perfect 2. If she's accomplished then it's about that 3. If she's gunningor hunting then she's timelined focused.. Ahhh where are the ladies of old??? Lol

[@ChelseaEdmunds]

I'm too serious and rigid but I feel like it's hard to change because the guy I'm dating has like zero sense of humor so I feel weird trying to joke with him. It feels serious all the time and I don't know how to make it more fun

[@genevalivingstone1929]

@@ChelseaEdmunds Hey Chelsea, I get it...have you guys ever played Janga??? Playing games is a great way to laugh...but start by laughing at yourself if your tower falls and not his..only because he could feel bad about it. It's a super fun game..even for serious people like you two... Let me know how it goes!!

[@ChelseaEdmunds]

@@genevalivingstone1929 I will keep that in mind... Thanks! :)

[@Mat_Shaffer]

LOVE IT hahaha

[@AllasMusicChannel]

Mat would be a type of a man I could envision marrying. Will make a good husband and dad one day. Thanks for the video. You deserve way more subscribers (which will come soon, I am sure of it).

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Aw appreciate the kind words my dear! I look forward to having a family one day :) Thank you for your support and encouragement... excited for the growth of my channel as WELL!!

[@anejorhum1665]

Mat Shaffer , are you still single or in relationship? Just asking,

[@geneviveross4234]

He’s married to me...so watch it girl...lol..

[@Aritul]

@@geneviveross4234 😄

[@captainswan3079]

@@geneviveross4234 🤣🤣

[@vanessamartinsdesouza1718]

Brilliant.Especially,the third one.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

so glad yoiu enjoyed it :)

[@ydasda4210]

Yes!! Re makeup and put-togetherness.😍 We do what we do until we learn about masculine and feminine energy. Love it! Thank you!!

[@Mat_Shaffer]

yess EXACTLY!!

[@pennyjackson1699]

My guy likes me more without makeup...thankfully, I am comfortable with that.

[@beautylife310]

Good content again, thanks! Hope you will talk more about being feminine. What makes a man to feel the feminine? being warm, smiling, soft, talk about how we feel not what we do? Are there general rules to apply? My guy friend says, you can't win a man by being independent, but can by softness. But what being soft means to a man??? I guess your advice on this will be helpful.. look forward to seeing more of your videos. Thanks!

[@Mat_Shaffer]

beautylife310 for sure my dear that’s a great topic! Will do a video on that soon 🤗

[@annemann8048]

I just can't do it...I am nurse...I see the end game...death...all the games...all the phoney...I am casual ... If man disqualifies me...I move on...upward and onward...

[@kristenmoonrise]

Ugh I started off being really playful and calm, feminine, laughed at his jokes, etc. But out of the blue he started comparing me to other women and I became bitter and rigid. He has stopped that somewhat and has become more giving but the energy is off now. Not sure what to do. 🙄

[@Mat_Shaffer]

It sounds like an opportunity to begin a dialogue with him around why he would compare you with other women! that's pretty insensitive :)

[@kristenmoonrise]

@@Mat_Shaffer thank you for responding. True. I just wish I didn't have to initiate the conversation!

[@Inug4mi]

Thank you for this. I was actually looking for the reason why I intimidate men. And for reaffirming why I need to date older men, because to be honest, some of them find the resume thing charming. Also, I can’t change my polish or my responsibility or competence. That’s literally a part of my identity. I’ve had to fight so hard for it. It’s why I’ve survived for as long as I have and I’d rather be alone than sacrifice for the comfort of a guy. Sorry, Bro. 🤜

[@Mat_Shaffer]

I appreciate your opinion on this!

[@KiTrina66]

Love the lighting in the video and the content of course

[@Mat_Shaffer]

AH appreciate that, I go out of my way to make sure both my content and my production is as high a quality as I can make it

[@angelarojas4877]

Thank you so much for sharing this important information.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

You're very welcome.

[@odelmisfelipe2899]

Tip: allow things to go smoothly and flow with the vibe

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Great tips!

[@amandasummers8121]

I really feel like you know my lost love Taylor Menefee. Im so grateful that you share your wisdom for free. You're a blessing from God and I sppreciate you Matt!! Thank you

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thank you so much! So happy to hear that! ❤❤❤

[@ellisburton8733]

Omg this was your scariest video to watch Mat. My heart was in my mouth... Because I always thought as a 6ft Red Head (in my youth), that guys were really intimidated by me - I'm gobsmacked because I don't actually do any of these at all. I think you may have just changed my life 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼. Wow 🤯.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thanks I hope it helps

[@ellisburton8733]

@@Mat_Shaffer because of your videos, and never think your not getting through, I have discovered I know more about, erm cough... Men than I realised and at 55 I plan to put that to very good use in the future 😱😎. 😂😂😂😂.

[@maggiewanjiru2807]

Mat, hahaa..you know your topic today sounds harsh but now we are wiser and glad for it. Thank you Mat for being real..

[@Mat_Shaffer]

You are so welcome Maggie Wanjiru! 🙏

[@dianecalta5237]

I always love your delivery, easy to remember the main points. Thank you for making so many things clear to me now. Better late than never!

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Your kind words touch my heart

[@teri3965]

I wrack my brain wondering why men ghost me. I am very independent and it shows. I wish I could meet a guy that wasn’t intimidated by this. Having been raised in an alcoholic home, some of us had to learn to be self reliant. Even at 60, I would love to show more softness, as I’m a very loving, giving person. Allowing men the space to ale the lead is so challenging for me. I love your videos Mat. 🙏

[@JesusLivesAndSaves-ladytee.3]

my guess is coodependency issues.....bc u mentioned growing up in a alcoholic home......did u heal ur childhood wounds by therapy? if not then perhaps u got no real self love and are insecure deep down? man often sence this and feel too pressured by it, bc if a person did not heal child hood wounds and does not trully love themselves, they often deep down expect another person "to make them happy or try to make them responsible for their happiness" or are "the angry martyr" .......however in order to love we must love ourself first in a healthy way: allow urself to be happy. if u do not do that u will keep reenacting childhood wounds....means drawing man towards u who are emotionally unavailable or even abusive, since the child in u tries to win this time.....u are not responsible for what u parents did and u deserve better, but in order to become happy we must rewrite those false believes in us which were ingrainded through such childhoods, which tell us we are not worthy or that we must do so much in order to be loved and safe abusers.......no! we must allow ourself to be happy and be kind and patient towards that little child in us and be the parents towards ourselves which we never had.

[@teri3965]

Beautiful. I’m currently in EMDR therapy and it’s beyond helpful. I love your insight.

[@pagep9876]

You’re always right on!

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Page P 🙌🙌🙌

[@RayanRayan-nt8bf]

If he doesnt like you for U,he is not for U

[@Mat_Shaffer]

agreed!

[@baby-xp9dn]

Great Points!👍👏

[@Mat_Shaffer]

thanks my dear!! :)

[@shaunbrunett1649]

I know I'm a couple months late but I gotta say I've wanted to ask a few girls out that're really intimidating like physically makeup, leather jackets and stoic quietness until I talk to them and also the friend zone is very real from what I discovered

[@Mat_Shaffer]

mmhm you arent meant for everyone but unless you put yourself out there and connect with them you'll never know which are ready for YOU! :)

[@ritasarah7474]

Good advice

[@Mat_Shaffer]

appreciate it!!

[@aisharobinson4451]

My thoughts: women who are attorneys or executives usually have had sacrifice their social lives to build their careers. Early on in dating the reason why conversations about their careers and ambitions come up is because that's really the only thing they have to talk about at the time. They are hoping you will be the one to change the conversation and add balance back into their lives. This conversation will not last long as the relationship grows, because she will have an assurance that you are proud of her accomplishments, yet will be there to also help her deepen her personal life goals.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

mmhm its never too late for love!

[@gamergirl33193]

"Hi I'm Sarah, I'm 29..." Uhhhh tha-that's literally me. 😳 I freaked out for a minute when I heard that lol.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

HAHA! So glad you enjoyed it! :) Many more to come!

[@noraoconnor1895]

Being an older lemon i think young women want commitment after a month or two, we went out for ages before that subject came up, i believe its because couple sleep together so early in the relationship and that has a more emotional impact on women, "just saying"

[@Mat_Shaffer]

I appreciate your opinion on this!

[@carriecanfield7642]

How do you not have more subscribers?.....they will come. Pun intended.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Carrie Canfield 😂😂🙏🙏❤️ this is definitely one of my favorite comments of all time. Welcome to the tribe my dear, I am happy you’re here!

[@vashtirostant6872]

O lord I did all dat he don't even text me any more any advise how to get him back will be appericiated

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Vashti Rostant tell me more details and I’ll do my best to support you :)

[@mara11333]

Our first encounter? He video called me way too early in the morning. It didn’t matter one bit. Lol

[@Mat_Shaffer]

I appreciate your opinion on this!

[@ohlalamuah5832]

Great advice you got a new sub. Btw what do you think about exe's name tattooed on boyfriend's body?

[@Mat_Shaffer]

ummm definitely could be challenging! Hopefully he was drunk when he got it and just doesnt have the money for the laser removal process at the moment? I hear its thousands!

[@ohlalamuah5832]

@@Mat_Shaffer he says he wanted covered, I don't know but I came to the realization that it really doesn't bother me, i am a very secured woman and I know he loves me and respects me, thats all it matters...Im actually stating to embrace it....go figure.

[@Mrs.T305]

I did the second one. How do I win him back? I feel really bad about it.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

The best way to "hit the reset button" in a situation where you've laid out a timeline too early and pushed him away is to invite him to share an experience with you - an adventure of some sort that includes activities not just conversation - that allows you both to reconnect to each other at an energetic level and become re-grounded in the present moment. Give it a shot!

[@ChelseaEdmunds]

Do you have a video on how to be feminine?

[@Mat_Shaffer]

ohh yes my dear many of them! browse through my channel and let me know which you like :)

[@helenegladney7929]

Would you have any advice for old maids or should we hang it up. Your advice I needed years ago. Now I know why I'm alone. Didn't know how to be in a relationship. Feel like now it's too late

[@Mat_Shaffer]

new love BLOOMS ETERNAL! It's literally never too late, Ive seen women in their 60s and 70s find amazing relationships

[@hawaiigirl8089]

How do we FIX this with a wonderful man after we accidentally did that

[@Mat_Shaffer]

go back to how you turned him on the first place ;)

[@celticsoul2850]

I’m not saying that you are wrong. Men should understand though that women have clocks built into us. We are conscious every day where we are in our cycle. It puts a focus on how many cycles we have left this year or next year or in five years. Women are always in a hurry. Men should be more diplomatic and understanding this about women. If you guys had a clock built into you, timelines would be very present in your mind too.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

absolutely we one hundred percent get to understand each other and treat each other with compassion :)

[@vickyyoung529]

I’ve been dating a guy for nearly 3 months now, he says he just wants to take things slow. When do you think I should bring this up again? Xx

[@Mat_Shaffer]

are you frustrated by the speed things are going at? its kind of refreshing to have a guy actually want to pace himself isnt it? haha

[@vickyyoung529]

It is, I’m just worried it’s an excuse for not committing. He said some ex girlfriends become controlling with 3-6 months. I just don’t want to be an easy option for him when I’ve developed feelings for him. When do you think I should bring up the subject again? Xx

[@christinecarlos7316]

Nice. Beautiful.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

[@karenescalera8193]

Goody for them.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

:):):)

[@budgetrebelgoals]

Great video! What are your thoughts on men only wanting sex.Never asks you to dinner.Never wanting to date

[@Mat_Shaffer]

I mean there are plenty of them out there! It's your job to state and hold your boundaries and let those guys filter out so you can spend time with those worthy of your attention

[@budgetrebelgoals]

@@Mat_Shaffer Challenge accepted!

[@claudeleto5444]

Mat... # 3, guys also read their resumes, often enough I have come across guys whose favorite subject is themselves 😡 boring!

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Omg I know they do and I’m sure it’s super frustrating! But often times men are defined by their work and they feel like it’s the only way to demonstrate value to a woman they like... you can invite him to take the conversation in a different direction :)

[@tillapaugh1995]

I was thinking this too. Men do these things and i dont like them either

[@kellb9283]

Mat has hot hands

[@Mat_Shaffer]

HAHA first time I've ever heard that... and I'll take it :)

[@captainswan3079]

Yeah he does!

[@kellb9283]

@@captainswan3079 and so are his feet. Thank you IG!

[@eniolaamoks6391]

My man is allergic to coconuts

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Sounds like you better keep him away away from them then!!

[@relayne6609]

But in 3yrs he cant still commit. For dating for 3yrs. Were both on with his activities and wants . But when i asked him what he cant commit he only answer is he is not ready. Be patient and slowly but surely .

[@Mat_Shaffer]

yes patience is key!! but after 3 years if he isnt ready to commit - will he ever be?

[@relayne6609]

@@Mat_Shaffer yes. I cant understand why he cant commit because he is a annulled guy with 3 kids with successful career or he just enjoying his life because he has everything. He can get any girls he wants. Actually during our time i found out he also flirting with the other girls. I noticed why he seldom text messages and not inviting me for a walk our regular basis routines.. And after that he still pursuing me but the trust its really hard to give in again. Thats is why we argue everytime he missed to update to me.

[@iammhyrgaitera175]

Matt your single and I'm single,let's chat.😜😆

[@Mat_Shaffer]

HAHA you're making me blush! :)

[@iammhyrgaitera175]

@@Mat_Shaffer omg! I have no idea your going to reply me.I watched all your videos and I'm naughty to comment that.I don't even know if you are really single.Well I've been single for to long,and I'm ready for love.What can you advice me to find the right man for me.Most of the guy courting me now is from divorce.

[@cammiemr5172]

I am Tatsie Gie 😂

[@debbyandersenweed2021]

He likes older women, right Mat? 😉

[@teri3965]

Mat is adorable. Love his demeanor. I agree with so much of his wisdom.

[@F-J.]

I can break wind and scratch my neither regions with the best of 'em. Why am I single ?? 🤭😂

[@Mat_Shaffer]

LOL you sound like a DREAM my dear, men want a girl who is comfortable with herself ;)

[@F-J.]

@@Mat_Shaffer i can also arm wrestle and still single though . Lol

[@charlenehoffman8074]

The title is how women turn men off and you start by saying how we intimidate men. Is that the same thing? I don't think so...

[@Mat_Shaffer]

Thanks for sharing!

[@evynnjohnson6946]

What playful energetic energy do men show relating to their career? How do you present your manly hood to activate a woman? Most women don’t care about your resume. Are you playful? Setting her free? Please share with us women you’re mastery since obviously we need to learn from you about femininity

[@Mat_Shaffer]

My videos are geared towards helping women understand the male perspective on relationships and how to activate/attract/connect with men! If you would like to share some tips to connect deeper with women from the female perspective, I'd love to hear it :)

[@kimmichaud4064]

I agree with everything you said but I must say you have no masculine energy

[@Mat_Shaffer]

WOW well I'm glad you at least agree with my points! :)

[@carriecanfield7642]

Sarah jenkins.....whatever honey. I guess that's your opinion. Not all men are jocks with big muscles. Most of the men like that and the ones that are packin... dont know what the hell to do with it.

[@kimmichaud4064]

@@carriecanfield7642 lol I wasn't referring to his body or size I was referring to his personality demeanor and feminine energy

[@F-J.]

Looks to me like he's appealing to our feminine mind. It's a skill.

[@vanessamartinsdesouza1718]

Mat only not have a toxic masculine energy.

[@hotte9323]

I turn them off with my existenz

[@Mat_Shaffer]

I highly doubt that is the case!

[@hotte9323]

@@Mat_Shaffer I recently had a date with a guy who was flirting with me for _two_ years! after this very nice connecting and intense date he vanished. and that happens again and again. I'm done.

[@Philmeupgm]

Hi I'm Sarah I'm 29 marry me because I'm out of calendar soon lol It's boring to give all your infos (Resume)let him to discover it.

[@Mat_Shaffer]

yes discovery is the best dynamic in relationship :)