4 social things I QUIT since I embraced my High Sensitivity

[@anagoldberg]

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[@LeeLaverne-d9v]

I can relate so much! One difference is that I don't have guest at all. I don't like other people in my house.

[@corncobpipe4]

Yes, agree!!

[@williamclark1244]

I am the same. Even when a repair is needed its a challenge for me.

[@LeeLaverne-d9v]

@@williamclark1244 Same here! I go hide somewhere and let my husband handle it. LOL

[@Jane_Moss]

wow i thought i was the only one !

[@redwarrior2424]

Same here😖

[@kaclama]

This is me 100%. I think the reason that it feels "weird" to be open about stuff like this is because we don't see ourselves represented out in the world. But that's only because we're all at home, not because we're weird or wrong or rare!

[@tinac3094]

Exactly.❤

[@patriciadavison1486]

People call me a “a hermit”, “a total recluse”, “anti social” and a host of other names. Do I care? No. I don’t dislike people but I find them overwhelming; same with noise, telephone calls and being out and about among humanity. I like my own company above all and when I have had my fill of silence I do my hobbies. I do not feel guilty nor different…I am just me and living the life I am now free (being elderly) to choose and all of the things I have longed for my whole life.

[@barbarafischer4619]

Good morning Ana. I completely relate, at 63. I'd rather stay home, have a quiet night and sew. I've been like this for the past 25 years.

[@Linda-cd5up]

Ana, I am 67 and haven’t hosted guests in several years. I only allow the closest people to me into my house because my home is my sanctuary and I don’t want the energy of most others to impact my calm, safe environment. I don’t feel guilty, no one really knows how I feel. I’ve found that it’s difficult for almost everyone to understand my hypersensitivity to sound and light and commotion in the environment. I live alone and have a lot of quiet time, which soothes me. Thank you for talking about this. I love your videos ❤

[@leemealz6088]

Thank you so much Ana for making this video! I am 50 years old and some years back I quit all of the things you mentioned, but I've struggled to accept the way I am. Luckily I have a very understanding husband who is much more understanding and accepting of my sensitivity than I am, so that helps, even though he's not highly sensitive himself. But, for so many years I felt like I must be the only person who is as highly sensitive as I am, so I am very happy to have found you!

[@christianemichelberger8245]

Thank you so much for talking about considering your sensitivities instead of walking over them. I had to think of a Short I recently saw:. A 4 year-old comes home from a sleepover. The mother asks whether it had been fun and she replies very exhausted, "yes". The mother asks, what was the best part? The girl: "Leaving". 🥰 It so refreshing to hear all the things you don't do. And encouraging. Sometimes, I still feel I should be more social but I can't and don't want to. I also prefer to be with one person, maybe 2, and really appreciate living alone. It truly doesn't matter what other people think about it.

[@redwarrior2424]

I saw that short (and myself in it). I laughed out loud.

[@anagoldberg]

The short is hilarious 😅 Thank you, dear Christiane ❤️

[@teevans8370]

Oh wow. I've never considered myself to be a HSP but I relate 100% to ALL of these!

[@anngratton9600]

I totally relate to your discomfort over hosting visitors .... For some reason, while having people over for supper feels stressfully overwhelming, having them in for brunch or lunch is less ... and can actually be pleasant ... and so once in a while that is how I host friends. I hate parties. I have nothing to say ... I force myself to do smalltalk, what I generally do is ask questions because most people enjoy talking about themselves and so I spend the whole time listening to people who are usually exhausting me. When I MUST attend a party ... the whole time I'm there, I am strategizing when I can politely leave.

[@Anita-rq9ev]

I absolutely relate Ana. When I was younger I thought something is wrong with me as I never enjoyed what others did. Interaction at work is already too much and drains me, but cannot be avoided. I do talk to people on the bus station sometimes or the cashier in the supermarket, no problem with that, but in my spare time I live on my terms. I'm not ashamed anymore to admit it. I love peace and quiet and rarely socalize, and it's freedom to me 😊. I also love my evenings at home, don't like being out. Thank you for your honesty 👍

[@roxanebethjohnson3594]

When I found out I was an HSP, I felt so thrilled that I shared it with others, who were not quite as excited as I was lol. So I keep it to myself now and actually take great pleasure in knowing this about myself. It feels like a precious secret I finally discovered that helps me make decisions that improve my life so much. Or at least it explains why certain smells, sounds and situations are so hard for me to endure. So I don’t endure them any more, not if I can help it! Wonderful video. We are kindred spirits.

[@cynthiareimer2020]

I can relate to every item on your list! I have most of my life, since I was a child, berated myself for not being able to do things and enjoy things others haven’t a problem with. From the comments I see many others who share sensitivity and I thank you for speaking out and sharing your experience.

[@ValfreyjaAndTheHarp]

Watching this was like hearing someone speak my own thoughts haha. I have finally recently stopped pushing myself to go to live concerts and movie theatres because they are so stressful. Additionally, being in social environments makes me feel like the intelligent, thinking part of my brain completely shuts off so that I can be in "Social mode", and I don't feel like myself or like I can make good choices. I recently read that something like 20% of people are HSPs which seems way too high from my personal experience meeting other people (or else maybe I'm an extreme on a gradient). I haven't yet managed to "embrace" that there's something good about being highly sensitive, and it constantly makes me feel alone and weak. We have to relate to other people in a different way and it is a challenge. Thanks for sharing your experiences, and it's nice to read the comments section as well. I also learned to cut my own hair years ago because I can't stand small talk at the hairdresser haha!

[@rockpoppets6182]

This is why I love working from home and not in a office environment.

[@ilariatremolada379]

Dear Ana, thank you for this video, it hits home ❤ accepting myself as an HSP has been definitely a bumpy journey! Now, at 52, I’m at ease with myself and don’t feel the need to fit in anymore. Acceptance has brought me so much peace and sense of self-respect. Learning about HSP helped me tremendously as, all of sudden, everything fell into place and felt right. Sending love to all HSPs on their journeys ❤️

[@billsgarage1964]

💙💙💛💛🙏🙏 I wish I could find an introvert cafe.....oh wait I found it..home~~~

[@anagoldberg]

Haha, true!

[@Jillski13]

I can relate Ana! I rarely have guests over. My home is my sanctuary. I heard about being highly sensitive listening to an interview with Elaine Aron (author of a book on HSPs) on the radio and knew right away that I was one of them. The only concerts I have gone to are for classical music. I like art festivals but rarely attend. I have to brace myself each time before I go. Sometimes when I have gone I end up with a migraine headache and have to spend the rest of the day in a dark room.

[@summerrain7466]

Hello Ana 🙂, I can relate 100%. Lights, sound, emotions.....can be overwhelming even in small gatherings. Someone inevitably will say "You're so quiet. Why aren't you talking?". And the truth is that there are already 3 people talking at once, and I've had to retreat further in to myself to be able to cope, and to be able to think of something to say and then actually say it may just tip me over the edge, and it would also be adding another voice into the mix.....

[@redwarrior2424]

Most so-called conversations seem pointless, don't they?

[@JamesRWhite-wb6iq]

It's so funny Ana, I had to watch your video to only realize as an over 60 year old (!) that I feel exactly the same in all of the points you mentioned. Thank you for making me feel less weird!

[@corncobpipe4]

OMG!!!!! A huge YES to ALL of these!!!!! And yes to feeling strange, rude, or embarrassed about it. But as I've gotten older, I'm getting better at expressing that while I appreciate the invitation, I just simply get too overwhelmed. People often push back, but every time I stand my ground, I feel such relief. It literally takes me days and days to recover from an evening at a noisy, crowded event.... it's just too much. The whole time, I just want to be home with my cat, a snack, and a blanket. 😻

[@sarahegibbs36]

Thank you, thank you, thank you Ana! I can relate so much to all of your reasons. I also never make commitments in the evening and don’t enjoy guests. Like you, when I was younger, I often felt pressure to go to big events, visit crowded bars, and appear friendly and social (I am American 😮). It was only during my forties that I realized that I was miserable. I am now 54 and much happier as my boring self. I also no longer apologize for saying no to commitments 😊

[@clairekurdelak2913]

Thank you for sharing! I relate very much to what you describe. With hosting, my partner loves it but he is not aware of people’s needs like I am. It energizes him to have people over, but drains me! We have found some ways to do events that work better for me, but there are limits. It’s very important for people to understand themselves and have their needs and preferences respected. One thing that is good is, I am able to help other sensitive people to be comfortable in my home, because I understand.

[@yellowdotje6278]

Totally relatable. What is also very stressful for me is eating together with strange people.

[@SchneppFlute]

I have spent many years as a professional musician (flute) and I have noticed that most of my colleagues and I never listen to music in their cars or at home. Lots of us are highly sensitive of course and that's part of the way we can express ourselves in music. However, aside from our own individual practice time, usually alone behind closed doors, we crave quiet! Oddly enough, being IN the orchestra or group performing is energizing for me, but I don't like attending big concerts where I'm not playing. I guess HSP "plays" out in various ways. 😊❤

[@anagoldberg]

This is such an interesting insight, Gayle! ❤️

[@magdalenastarzynska4466]

When I hear you I feel you are talking about me as far as guests are concerned. I love having guests around but very rarely. I don't throw parties.I enjoy the peace and quiet of my own place where I feel comfortable. Greetings from Poland.

[@kamidsjournee]

I can relate so much. This summer my husband had a party that he planned for months. I was so stressed about it. I ended up having to be out of town for three weeks over the time his party was happening. Needless to say, I was neither sad nor regretful. It was an incredible blessing.

[@magdalenastarzynska4466]

@kamidsjournee The same with me l am stressed every time having to be with a huge group of people. I am quickly overstimulated.

[@2310kat]

Oh Ana...I feel so heard and understood. For the first time in my life, I hear someone eloquently express and describe how I feel about hosting. I never understood why I am this way. Thank you so much for sharing it so bravely, it is beyond helpful ❤ Much love

[@kayerains3513]

Ana, Thank you so much for this video! I knew I wasn't the only person who felt this way. When covid came along, I realized it carried a hidden bonus for me: No more pressure to entertain! I was so relieved, and have not looked back since. It is a challenge in my household, though, due to my husband desiring more social interactions than I do...but, now we try to meet the other parties at a neutral location, preferably outdoors (weather permitting), and limit the time spent socializing. Surprisingly, my husband now realizes he really doesn't want as much social interaction as he once did. Some of this is due to non-maskers and non-vaxxers' mentalities, but also getting a bit older, he is more satisfied to just enjoy our own little household. It is a huge relief to me! I feel so much less pressure to perform, and I am happier with just us and our dog at home. Take care. I love your videos!

[@jilloverton3630]

Thank you for your thoughtful video. There is so much that I can relate to in this video. While I love music, I have a very hard time going to concerts or to restaurants, where loud music is being played. I also hate large parties. There is too much noise; and, I would much rather speak to a couple of people rather than a lot of people. I feel like more meaningful conversations usually occur when there are only a couple of individuals involved. I am also not a night person. I enjoy going to bed around 9PM; so, many times, I do not like to go out socially in the evenings. I also do not enjoy action movies because they are too loud and often too violent for my liking.

[@Klmnop2380]

I don't like people in my home. I find it stressful...like my safe space is invaded.

[@janaszabo374]

Dear Anna,Thank you so much for your channel. Your opinions and outlook on life are identical to mine. It’s strange how close I can feel to someone I don’t personally know, while my own family seems so different. I’ve been in agreement with everything you’ve been saying for a long time. We don’t have any guests or visits at home anymore-it’s just to exhausting. Your channel is a treasure-a soothing balm for the soul and reassurance that I’m not alone.

[@anagoldberg]

Thank you, Jana ❤️

[@eugetesta5847]

I relate so much. Thanks for making it visible 🥰

[@tawnytuppence5573]

Such a relatable video. I always have my exit planned ahead of time for certain required events that cause me stress. I used to feel rude but now feel like they’re lucky at all that I came. Good job me for making an effort-now I can go home!

[@geoffdean3532]

Love your work, real, meaningful, original, relevant .....thank you. ♥

[@sharonshmuel3386]

Dearest Ana thanks for being so open & honest. You are definitely not alone - I too relate 100% to everything you have quitted - I have quitted too. I am 65 & value my peace & quiet especially after having a traumatic marriage & now divorced 15years. Lol ❤

[@ramashkolnik9713]

Dear Anna You are not alone, yet l feel alone, because l am not in your stage, l still feel embraced to admit, and to face criticism about being hsp. And l am much older than you. I thank you for sharing so courageously your feelings.

[@kflecha1]

Ana’s content is so inspiring ❤ positive vibes for everybody ❤

[@anamaria-db7pq]

Thank god someone is talking about it openly… I also struggle a lot with guests, I have heavy hosting anxiety lol. Be it for a party or just friends visiting and sleeping at my place. I then totally dissociate and are focused 100% on the needs of the other. I think I am not a pleasure to be around as a host because I am exhausted. I need a few days of recovery after each guest. I feel also ashamed of it and I would love to be a good host with ease but it’s just how it is….

[@jessicabulloch5302]

I understand what you are saying, I struggle with this as well.

[@Jane_Moss]

holy cow i couldn’t have written that better myself. exactly how i feel. the disassociation makes me feel like im losing it and like theres something wrong with me!

[@anagoldberg]

You've put it perfectly well, I can relate so much! Dissociation.

[@sheliamaynus9869]

Thanks for being so vulnerable.

[@renatawawrzaszek5423]

Dear Ana, ones again your reflections are amazingly consistent! Before I finally realised that I am simply sensitive, I had been punishing myself for being like that. Your voice, calm and simple, has rang in my head! And than I stated to question everything I thought was true! And I started acting because the change I was struggling for I had found in you message! I consider you my close friend, ❤ friend! I want you to know that you have made a huge difference in my life! Thanks ❤! I quit a lot of things I thought I would have never done: too much sport, hobbies, meetings with people I like, events, stimulations and cut almost coffee, my weak point! What I found beautiful is the fact that I discovered my truly self, quite different from the one I had been fantasticated for so long! Life is an amazing discovery!😅

[@sarawilliams7453]

I am so grateful to you for this post Ana. I haven’t been to a hairdresser’s for nearly 2 years now for this exact reason. The noise of the hair dryers, music, bright lights of the salon, over perfumed products, extrovert hairdressers… and the chit chat. I used to get myself so worked up about going. Once that gown went on, and my hair was washed I would feel completely trapped. So I just stopped going, and grew my hair. I can appreciate that with your hairstyle needing regular trims, how hard this is for you. I fully relate to all of your other points plus, the organisation that I work for moved offices 18 months ago. We were in a quiet, old Edwardian building where I had my own office that looked out onto a cricket pitch. Now we are in a modern open plan office with one central communal set of white desks for 10 colleagues, even our chairs are bright red. It’s just an exhausting place to work in and I am no longer as productive. I have noted that more people have been unwell since we started working there. I think that one of the reasons that I love your channel is because your persona is so calm, and the things that you share are just delightful. Thank you.

[@anagoldberg]

Sara, thank you so much for your kind words and sharing your experience ❤️ Ugh, open-space offices are the worst... I used to work in one of those too and it was a nightmare.

[@lifelikeatob]

I know what you mean with having guests. I usually can’t properly relax when a guest is around with the exception of my best friend. In general I feel everything needs to be perfect, exceptionally spotless and I feel I need to cater to all of their needs (food, drink, so on), which is nonsense. I just can’t turn it off 😅

[@Ute-og3bt]

oh yes, letting only a few and selected people in the " holy halls" of my home. I know that desire to be alone in my safe place. You´re definitely not alone in this ☺ and I also feel bad in big crowds like festivals, concerts or else. I quit going to the parties, because I feel lonely in the crowd and I prefer 1 to 1 conversations over smalltalk in big groups. Well in fact I prefer being alone at home over any human contact. But it took a very long time to realise and accept that I´m a lone wolf personality and HSP . There is no reason for excuses. if your are your authentic self. Every human being is a different personality and that is totally ok. I think, the songline " I am what I am and what I am need no excuses" says it all 😁

[@ChrisSummers-AlienFaeRE]

"Oh you want access to my sanctum sanctorum? Please fill out this questionnaire and go through the vetting process k thank" 😂🖖

[@reginag.1054]

Dear Ana, this relates totally to me. Thank you for your open words.

[@jlmo3027]

Yes to understanding yourself and the way you enjoy 🎶.

[@minnie66]

Hi Ana, I am hsp too. I enjoy lonelyness even if I live with husband and doughter. I find hard to host people or go out with them My family doesn’t understand me and my behaviour. But I want to respect myself and I search for peace and wellbeing.

[@nanetten6238]

Wow Ana! You nailed the part about hosting. That's exactly how I feel. My husband's family is very welcoming to us when we visit them, but I don't like hosting them in return for all of the reasons you stated. This makes me think very poorly of myself, like an old grouch hiding under the bed. Mi casa ain't su casa. Thanks for the validation!

[@anagoldberg]

I get your feelings so well, Nanette! ❤️

[@marianne8280]

My profession is cooking vegetarian food and I am good at it, but when I invite people to my home I feel uncomfortable and stressed. It`s nothing wrong with my home, it´s homely but not perfect or expensive. I prefer to do things in the day and be at home in the evenings. I hate noise. I don´t think I am an introvert because I talk to people at the bus, hairdresser, bus stop, super market and to my neighbors , I prefer 1-1 talk not a lot of people. Something I must think about, maybe not everyone wants to talk to me, so I try not to be intrusive and take into account that people are different.

[@dianenoonan2068]

Dear Anna. I identify so much. I am not a hostess. It makes me very uncomfortable and I don't enjoy it at all. I rarely host and if I do it is only for another couple or two. I also identify with loud noises. If something makes a loud noise or a bang I am filled with anxiety. I much prefer a night home with a good book than going out. I don't force myself to do these things anymore.

[@williamclark1244]

I agree with you about live performances, festivals, hosting, evening events and large gatherings. I don’t even do holidays because they are just too overstimulating for me. I don’t feel like I’m missing out either. I’m someone that goes to the market as early as possible to avoid being around so many people. When I went to the gym it would go when they first opened but after they changed their hours to open later I had to cancel the membership. Going in later and having so many people around became too much for me. I have been called anti-social and standoffish because I am introverted and HSP. I stopped trying to explain to people because they are never willing to understand.

[@Seeking_Myself]

I relate 100%. I have stopped having people at my home because of the angst it causes me. If I was not working, I would pretty much be a recluse and happy with that style of life

[@qwertydeluxe]

I always have filtering earplugs with me. It's a health and safety issue too: As a musician, I need to preserve my range of hearing as much as possible. Many amplified concerts and festivals have the music turned to volume levels that exceed the threshold of safe listening. Using hearing protection to reduce sensory issues is amazing. I sometimes joke that if I could, I would always go on public transit with earplugs, face mask, and sleep (eye) mask 😅😅😅

[@greatedges]

I relate to everything you said in this video. Thank you.

[@sandycane9884]

I love this video. I had a friend that quit social media moved north and is living an admirable life. I loved that for her but felt a sting because my extended family wanted to keep me in their circle. I was miserable and felt trapped. Sometimes it's hard to see where you begin and others end. This year I broke the chain and left. I am so happy!

[@masha1179]

I feel you, Ana. I used to go to parties, raves and such as I love music and dancing but it was awful to come home and try to relax and fall asleep when I would just go though the whole evening in my mind, who did I meet, how did I feel about this and that and so on. I've never liked movie theaters, exploding sounds and sound effects so I've watched movies at home where I can control the situation and organize everything to my liking. I rarely meet any of my friends but I do stay in contac with a few good ones. I hate chit chat about stuff that don't matter and mean anything to anyone. Life has changed and challenged me for many years now so I prefer being in nature as much as I can and in quiet environments such as my home. So no worries, Ana. There are many other people who know and understand what you're talking about and can totally relate to you and your experiences 😊

[@kgt9925]

I am totally this way too. It's just taken me longer to accept and try to live accordingly rather than bending to others' needs and erasing my own.

[@IndiBex86]

Yes to all of these. It is essential for the HSP to be true to oneself and accept limits. I found out the hard way that I need to put my needs first and maintain boundaries. Healing now because I listen to my heart, and accept that I am different. My life is my own.

[@jolineconnollyallen8751]

Hello Anna….I am a HSP… I’m glad I found your offerings. 😊 I can relate with you and your description of how life feels…thank you for your kindness.

[@liammcweeney1674]

Another great video Ana have a great day

[@anagoldberg]

Thanks Liam, you too!

[@SharonG-ip3ll]

Thank you for this video. All of your points resonate so deeply with me. I'm easily overwhelmed with interacting with other people, even my own extended family. I'm extremely introverted and would rarely leave the house unless absolutely necessary. That situation has recently changed due to some life circumstances, but I still require some quiet "me" time to decompress and refocus my inner self. I have always enjoyed live performances of an orchestra or ballet or even taking in a matinee at the movies. Now I prefer to stream them to watch at home so I don't have to navigate the crowds. That is one way that technology is helpful to us HSPs. Blessings to you and yours.

[@dselect1383]

Classical music and certain musicals are enjoyable i agree, but definitely never going to a rock concert again

[@wyrdwitch13]

I"m an HSP also and can definitely relate to all of these!

[@amandachapman4708]

Yes, I don't go out in the evenings any more. It makes me too tired after all the activities of a normal day. I don't want to then have extra stress to put on my "public" face and make a lot of effort for something that is just not worth it.

[@valp.5095]

Live concerts and having guests and late nights resonates a lot with me. I make exceptions, as long as certain conditions are in place. One of the things I never enjoined at all are social work events though. My close friends know me and I never feel the need to join a conversation and I could just zone out without being judged, but at work events this would be seen as rude. I have to say I could not give it up yet, because I feel it is necessary to get to know people to be able to work together well and easily. I stopped meeting in pubs with friends in the evening. I regret to say that I used alcohol to make things easier, but since I gave up drinking almost completely, there are hardly any occasions that make me change my mind. I try to be honest with my friends and my partner completely understands and this makes it easier.

[@marmar6692]

This is weird, but i agree with u on every point, especially having guests over😁 and now in my forties i dont care anymore what ppl would say

[@violaineaudrey8841]

Oh Ana, your sharing has put a smile on my face because I could have said everything myself !! I don't want people in my house - it feels like an intrusion to me, I don't want to go to other People's house, I don't want to go to events (the only one I would go several times a year are classical ballets, which are a passion of mine - it was in my head from the beginning of your video and you say this at the end of it, it was so fun ! As well as classical music, I always begin my day with a yoga practice and then prepare and eat my breakfast with Tchaïkovsky or Chopin my 2 favorites 😊 Thanks again dear Friend, we are not alone 😄🌺💛

[@anagoldberg]

Dear Violaine, I remember that you're a fellow ballet-lover🥰 Your morning routine sounds so beautiful and calm! Haha, indeed we're not alone - so many people in the comments shared similar thoughts and feeling 😊

[@marybethglaser2185]

Thank you so much for sharing this. I was always embarrassed to acknowledge that I don't like parties, crowds, concerts.

[@tereclemmer7923]

I have noticed that as I've aged, I have become less social than I was. Many of the things you've mentioned in this video sound so familiar to how I recognize I feel now. Maybe I never realized before that I may have some of the highly sensitive traits. My other option may be that I am getting older. So I'd like to think it's the first option. As always, thanks.

[@mariaradulovic3203]

All of them and many others. Another sensitive, anxious introvert here.

[@traceyp6333]

Thank you for sharing, I am similar

[@dortek882]

I stopped watching movies many years ago, they are too overwhelming, especially the sounds. I dont enjoy big supermarkets, sometimes they make me run for the toilets😂. When i was younger i went out dancing and that was never a problem, but going outside where crowds were going in all direction made me dizzy. This afternoon i listened to an elderly couple, who were beginning to feel the diminishing of the hearing, which meant that being in a crowded restaurant was a challenge. They looked for quiet corners, and if there was sound dampening materials in the ceilings or rugs on the floor. I guess that would be a usefull tip for hop as well.

[@jessicabulloch5302]

I struggle very much with needing alone, quiet time. I'm a mom to 8 kiddos , 4 are young adults and 4 still young . I adore my children, many days feel like an ongoing party that I can't leave. I didn't know this would be a difficulty for me before starting a family.

[@kamidsjournee]

As a young mother I would pray God would take my hearing. I only have three children. I’m glad I can still hear, but at the time I was sure it was the only way I’d be able to survive.

[@HomemakerDaze]

I often have wished to be deaf also 😬​@@kamidsjournee

[@jessicabulloch5302]

❤​@@kamidsjournee

[@jessicabulloch5302]

​❤@@HomemakerDaze

[@Lunulaana]

I can rely on the guest Thing. It became better when I stopped trying to do everything perfectly and allow myself to do everything my way without being concerned all the time. But only family members 😂

[@spirou55]

At last! Another person that doesn't like hosting. It is torture to me. I feel like people invade my shelter, even when there are handymen fixing something in my house. I've only told this to my therapist and to my husband (who is an extrovert and loves hosting).

[@kzrb0101]

It is funny that until someone says “oh it’s ok, I feel that too” it’s hard to let go trying. I have exactly the same thoughts on concerts, staying up late or hanging out with many people at once. I always tried to change my natural inclination to be more outgoing etc… but it is ok to be yourself and avoid or minimize discomfort. ❤thank you for this video!

[@rockpoppets6182]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts I agree wholeheartedly.

[@shirleyrankin-zf6nv]

This past weekend was our little towns Santa Claus parade I was so worried that people would drop by like they always do on that day that I closed all my curtains locked my doors and turned on my security camera all I wanted to do was drink my coffee and enjoy my book in peace.so that is what I did no guilt.when I go to hairdresser I feel the same way you do I just want my hair cut and hate the small talk right now it’s are you ready for Christmas ad nausean

[@mickjaeger7573]

Boring? Pshaw. You have interior lives that are as rich in diversity as the Amazon. Give me a thinker over a glad-handler any day. Earlier this year I had the privilege of an eight week solo trip. Not once did I turn on a radio or tv. It was bliss. As I've aged, I'm beginning to believe that "normal" people or the "average" person are not as large a majority as presented. I also think many of us, especially women, may fall on the ASL spectrum... let's say ASL adjacent. As you've pointed out, the key is to know yourself and live YOUR best life.

[@kamidsjournee]

It makes me quite frustrated to be demeaned for isolating myself. I truly wish I could be left alone in my choices as an HSP. Thank you for affirming my preferences. Is there a blanket statement you have that explains your preferences instead of having to justify them? Participation in the situations you’ve mentioned is like pouring lemon juice in an open wound, but others just cannot understand, or they can’t seem to respect me in my choices.

[@redwarrior2424]

The Victorians would plead feeling unwell (headache) and needing to lie down. I think that one is still valid.

[@pamelajaye]

Yes do what you want and don't do what you don't want to do and maybe sometimes you might have a couple of friends who like to just sit down and do quiet things and go home early. Sometimes I like to talk to people but just people I know that like things that I also like. But I can also do that on the phone. I wish someone would clean up our living room so that we could sit on our furniture and sometimes talk to each other instead of always just going in our rooms and being separate although the boys seem to talk louder than me. Also they eat faster than me and I am still sitting at the table if they were there at all and they are gone. They already finished. How do they eat so fast? Anyway I only like to hang around with people I feel comfortable with and doing things I feel comfortable doing which aren't a lot of things. I miss going shopping. But it's been a long time since I had money and I don't want to catch any diseases. And if there is a big crowd somewhere these days I think maybe they will run and I will get crushed. I didn't used to think about stuff like that until I saw it on TV. I used to go to the sidewalk by the river by the railing to watch the fireworks in Boston. And there were tons of people there. Lots of people on the other side of the river but it was harder to see the fireworks because over there, there were trees.

[@denisearonow4921]

Relate.

[@lejci38]

Very much relate!...I don't like having guests at all...very rare people make it to be one..;)

[@LL-qi9mb]

You are not alone, I loathe having people over to visit, so I don't do it. I am not bothered if people think it odd, each to their own I say. My husband and I also do not go out in the evening, we do not enjoy the experiences and are much preferring to stay home and enjoy our family life. Some people are by nature more loners, and there is nothing wrong with that. I think a person needs to do whatever makes them comfortable and happy.

[@czarnalawenda5215]

I feel you so much. I despise modern theather. It annoys me with expressions and innovations. I don't like guests too. I try to be hospitable, but as you said it "I can't hear my own thoughts". I involuntarily try to adjust to another person and expectations. It's SO draining! I don't go anywhere near festivals, clubs and after 6:00 PM. I just want to be left alone in the evening. I love ballet! :D I'm not HSP, though. I'm on the spectrum.

[@EduardoRodriguez-du2vd]

I am autistic. I share many of your reactions, particularly the tendency to overwhelm myself when receiving people and over-processing their needs. In my case, it is clear that I cannot intuitively distinguish the cues that indicate the true reactions of other people. I also easily become overwhelmed in proportion to the volume of social information that surrounds me.

[@redwarrior2424]

Thank you so much for this video.💙

[@studiomixig]

i also struggle with guests in my home! it's nice to hear others who feel the same. peoples energy for more than a few hours is enough for me and i only invite close friends and family. in the past i have regretted inviting someone bc afterwards i feel their energy in my home and it bothers me a lot. i even struggle with hosting close friends and family members, one night is maximum enough ^^

[@michelecraig9658]

I find that controlling my environment, and focusing on making it feel calm and cozy helps me a lot to feel calm. But because i live alone, i do need a balance between going out and doing things and interacting with people and alone, quiet time. I have been forcing myself to go to our small local live concerts (usually only like 20-30 people there) because I really enjoy listening to live music). When i get home though, I feel a weird mixture of relief that i am no longer in that environment mixed with remembering the enjoyment of the music. What is that feeling called?

[@ValfreyjaAndTheHarp]

I relate, and I jokingly refer to that feeling as, "I want to have already done [that thing]." Like when there's a concert coming up I think, "I want to have already gone to that concert and have that experience behind me" rather than "I want to go" 😂 I heard somebody in a TED talk once say that and it stuck with me.

[@BrunaLASilva]

I relate with some of these things, but I have to say that there’s a very thin line between respecting your boundaries vs. getting too used to being comfortable inside them and loosing the capacity to adapt to situations, which is a very important tool to have as a grown up. I used to do the last one, but I feel that now I’m able to respect my boundaries while also trying to open them a bit more everyday, specially when I am with people that I like and also respect and can help me with them. Now I feel that some situations that used to cause me a lot of stress, I ended up enjoying.

[@alken87]

I don't like theater too, for the same reasons, but I found out that I can enjoy theater...on the screen 😅 so for theater plays I go to the cinema

[@pamelajaye]

I don't like clubs. They only place I ever went was this dance club that had a bunch of different rooms. A bunch of people from church went there and the other people who were there were smoking because it was the '80s and it was loud and noisy and all I wanted was to go home. And I'll never do it again. I think the only thing you could do to get me to go out at night and be around other people was if Scott Bakula was there. I used to do that a lot. And there were always plane tickets involved. It was always in some other city. And a couple of times I went for Donny Osmond but only one time did it involve an airplane and I was going someplace for another reason anyway.

[@douglaurenepaterson8635]

You are very wise and self aware. You seem like such a sweet, young lady.

[@HomemakerDaze]

Ballet! ❤

[@hidden909]

I feel exactly like you. But I’m still feeling a lot of shame about it.

[@Rose_Ou]

Same here. I don't tolerate synthetic scents either, which is a nightmare because most people seem to be using laundry detergents that are so extremely toxic and INTENSE that I cry my eyes out and get constant migraines in the summer when they hang their laundry outside.

[@HomemakerDaze]

Even church is too loud, i might wear my vibe earplugs next time.. They have the speaker of the sermon so loud 😬 Definitely another reason why i want to sit at the back, not just because I'm shy.

[@Soylentology]

The last 4 concerts I bought tickets for, I didn't go. Hundreds of dollars wasted. I cannot do large crowds and loud noises in confined spaces. I can absolutely relate to having people in my home lifting the veil of peace.

[@itsLindsayJean]

I so relate to all of this 🤍

[@kingachrzan7315]

I can relate 100%i am doing my nails in salon but hate the small during treaitment

[@pamelajaye]

We used to go to see the fireworks in the next city down here but now we just watch them on TV from Boston. Sometimes it is hard to find the Boston fireworks but so far we have managed to do it. When I was younger we would go into Boston - also we didn't have to drive 1400 mi in order to do that - and then we would go home afterwards. Of course there was a lot of traffic. But I wasn't the driver, only the navigator. I think its the only thing I do that's late at night. I don't think I have ever been to a New Year's Eve party in my entire life. One time we watched it on TV and my brother and I had matching wine glasses and we clinked them together at midnight which I don't think I ever did before. And it was 2020. I'm never going to do it again. It didn't turn out well.