5 Basic Steps to Take When a Friend Ghosts You

[@michellesteinman1642]

Communication and maturity are so important! People who judge and criticise about petty things are too exhausting.

[@sarge27271]

"People come to you for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime"

[@annmorenz8816]

Love this,

[@nycgoldengirl2801]

I’ve been ghosted by those who I thought were “good friends.” I consider myself a “do or die” type of friend, so, yes, it hurts. But, this is what I’ve come to realize is this: Not everyone places the same value on friendship. Some people are more “transactional” than they initially appear. Then there is always the issue of female “jealousy.”

[@NinaAmir]

Well, whatever it was...I'm done.

[@Sadie-d4r]

This is so true. This happened to me recently with a 14-year friendship that I thought was super-deep. Apparently, I was wrong. It hurts for a while, but why give any more of your energy to someone who turns out to be far less than you thought.

[@stephanie7572]

I think that sometimes your very awesomeness can be intimidating to someone who doesn't have it as together. So maybe look at it as a positive that this poor soul can't stand to be in such bright a light, if only for an hour or two to have a coffee or lunch. You will possibly look back on the ghosting and laugh, maybe when you hear that they really blew it bigtime either careerwise or love-wise while little old you's life is just humming along.

[@NinaAmir]

I only wish them well.

[@LaoSoftware]

You just learn to stand alone. People who aren't invested in a friendship or relationship are not worth your time. Life is short. Don't waste time on someone who don't deserve your time. Once time is spent, you can't get back those time. Time flies very fast after age 40. Don't waste it.

[@madiclegg3690]

IV been ghosted many many times. It really hurts. Im 51 now and am pretty much friendless, im a good person and still can't figure out what happened in many of the friendships, why they dropped me like a hot rock. One of them i was friends with for 12 years and we never fell out. I still question why im such an outcast. Iv learnt to cope, but id be a lier if i said it doesn't hurt, because it really does.

[@NinaAmir]

I'm sorry to hear that. I'd reach out to some of those people again and ask why they don't want to be friends. Maybe you need to do some growth work and that would inform it.

[@illiadorival6394]

Everytime I have been ghosted. Today, I realized that not to be too attached to anyone in this world. The more you get attached? The more you real get hurt.

[@NinaAmir]

Attachment is never good. But your negative thoughts about people hurting you create more of the same.

[@Sadie-d4r]

Amen. I'm going to get a dog.

[@michellesteinman1642]

Be with people who fit with your energy and can reflect back positive vibes

[@notme123]

WTF does this mean?

[@madiclegg3690]

Easier said than done

[@schanychamemphis1327]

I am at a point in life where if people are not willing to invest in a relationship with me, that is fine. I want to be around people who value me enough to discuss issues. Low value person for me.

[@NinaAmir]

Agreed

[@LaoSoftware]

This has happened to me recently. She moved to a different city. I always initiated contact. But she never does the same. So I figure it out that she didn't want my friendship anymore. So I stop all contact with her.

[@Brb16-78]

@@LaoSoftwarethat’s good. Cut it all off. You know your worth! 😊

[@ChristianMiddleton-ub2tc]

This sort of thing happened to me after i left a church and the thing is that this type of behavior is a lot worse in churches I think. The part that makes it bad was that i was raised in it and the friends did not want to to talk to me years later even though i reached out. In conclusion, life is full of a lot of uncertainty and confusion and it gets busy. What stuck out to me was that she mentioned that she felt like the other person treated it like a competition. The reality is that some are immature.

[@persiafirst1871]

Currently experiencing being ghosted. What we have to remember is that when someone rejects us, we always have the power to reciprocate.

[@NinaAmir]

Yes...but do it for yourself...not out of spite or vengeance.

[@Sadie-d4r]

I heard somewhere that "rejection is protection." Look at it that way and walk away from someone who is not worthy of your love.

[@averagejane09]

Nobody is perfect and you have to consider someone's intentions and their heart. If someone values the relationship they make the effort to repair and that takes communication. I find it unkind to give someone the silent treatment or ghost them. It is honestly cruel. So, what kind of person doesn't value another person for the right reasons? Love the advice here. 1. Soul search - Did you do something? Apologize if so. 2. Let it go - if someone doesn't want to tell you, let them go. 3. Cut your energetic ties - energy work, sage The title says 5 steps but I can only figure out 3...but they are good ones!

[@NinaAmir]

I'm glad you found the post useful!

[@shawnessy3548]

I needed this. My friend of 20yrs just did this because of a 2 min interaction where she decided I was mad at her because I was quiet and not all over her like she’s used to. She sent me a long message about it and said she would not read my response if I responded which I did. She then blocked me. It’s been a rough few days for me.😓

[@NinaAmir]

It can be rough...but it's about them, not you. Go on with your life.

[@judysoltow4474]

Sounds toxic her loss

[@christinalw19]

What is she, 13? lol😂

[@shawnessy3548]

@@christinalw19 seriously! I have a 14 yr old and her and her friends don’t even act that way 🙄

[@Hope-lr9be]

People just doesn’t care about others except for themselves. Either they want to dominate you, or want something from you but that’s it. Social media is very deceiving and draws people to misunderstanding and false impressions. People have selfish expectations from others. I remember that during the pandemic my family decided that we will stay at home to protect us. “My friend” thought I should mingle openly with people like she did. I told her my decision and she didn’t like it.

[@davep5647]

I had a good friend of 15yrs ghost me. 2 yrs later they called and said they had gotten busy- i was at work and couldnt talk long...10 yrs later they told a mutual person that they had screwed up and wanted to connect with me. I wasnt interested,how could i be.The friendship was betrayed by them and any re-connection would seem very,very awkward to me.I guess what they learned is sometimes you cant go home.

[@NinaAmir]

That's tough...but you have to do what's right for you.

[@Beaumirabel]

I commented before and now i watched your video through twice and i feel so so so much better. Thankyou so very much

[@SitaMizar-w5z]

It happened to me as well . 7years of friendship she ghosted me for a year. I suffer, carried guilt. After year we are friends again and now she ghosted me again after 2 years being friends again now I give up and I total accept and agree what you are staying here. Thank you so much for sharing

[@NinaAmir]

Sorry you had that experience. Thanks for your comment.

[@LoyceGozdan]

I agree with all the above. Another thought..sometimes people tell lies and the lies add up and they can’t remember what they told who, so they abruptly end the “ friendship “ because of the web of lies.

[@NinaAmir]

That could happen.

[@Lizcraig-uo1gz]

This helped me SO MUCH! Thank you.

[@NinaAmir]

I'm so glad!

[@carolynmorse6746]

I am glad I came across this post. My sister has gone no contact with me and on Christmas Day. She has done this several times. I am done this time. I know I did or said nothing wrong. The inner work doesn't vibrate so we are not on the same vibration.

[@NinaAmir]

It sounds like you are done and that's a good thing. You are doing the inner work, which is so important. That said, I'm sorry she has ghosted you again.

[@carolynmorse6746]

@NinaAmir thanks for taking the time to respond. Hope to see more content

[@annettemoorshead7019]

Even though this video is one year old, I accidentally stumbled upon this tonight, when I needed it most, and it really helped me, and it spoke onpoint about everything I am dealing with right now. Thanks for making this video! 😊❤

[@NinaAmir]

So glad you found it! I'm here for you, always.

[@nanamifairy]

In a really short period of time I've been ghosted by like... 5 different friends. I kinda started feeling like it was my fault, tbh im a complicated person, but i can assure u I'm a good friend, i always put effort on my relationships and everything, And constantly help everyone.... but i guess it isn't enough for some people.

[@TheSphere29]

My best friend, who I love most, who I have known for 13 years, is hurting me. I feel like he's abusing me. He knows what ghosting does to me, yet he does it again and again and again and again. Every time he does it, I get PHYSICALLY SICK, leave alone psychologically and emotionally. I feel dizzy, nauseated, i get acidity, and i lose sleep. I keep telling him, and he knows it, but he'll come back, say it was my fault, and say he doesn't want to talk about what i did. He did accuse me of things i used to do and i stopped but now he says I'm still doing them and if I ask him for where I said anything like that, he won't show me. It's his go-to, for blaming me. How can someone i love so dearly turn against me like this. I'm tired of begging him to say something.

[@NinaAmir]

Is this a relationship that is healthy for you? I think not. Ask yourself why you subject yourself to such treatment. You are worthy of a friend who treats you well.

[@TheSphere29]

@NinaAmir the reason I have subjected myself to this is because he was my best friend for more than 10 years. But you're right. I don't deserve this. He changed a few years ago. I even asked him if he had lost someone. He told me someone told him that he should not tolerate anything from people because people always walked over him. I tried telling him that while that was important, you need to be tolerant with people because we all make mistakes. You can't cut off or ghost someone just because he said something you disagree with. I even stopped talking about anything controversial with him because he was just looking for reasons to cut off people, and he'd say, "I'm no longer talking to friend a and friend b anymore". It's just childish in my opinion. He cut me off for months then came back, and I was so happy. Then he did it again and came back. He's done it like 3 times, and now is the 4th time. The last time he came back, we were talking about the Olympics, and I said something be disagreed with IN APPROACH. Even before I explained myself, he had already said what I said made him "want to leave me". When I explained what I meant, he said he had misunderstood me and would have left me again. After a few days, he disappeared again, and I asked him if I said something wrong or if he was just busy with work. I'm deciding to move on because this friendship really tortures me. There are times I almost broke down in work or in the bus going home. I can't believe someone we used to talk with for hours every day has turned into this. I've got to move on for my own good because right now, it seems we're not a friendship of equals. There's always kne person who determines when to leave the other person. Instead of just being adults and saying "I'm busy on a project" or "I didn't like when you said abcd"... coming to think of it, how comes after more than 10 years of being friends suddenly anything i say is wrong or worth leaving for? I think he's just looking for excuses. I'll treat our friendship as dead and work on being happy.

[@antoniotula262]

Why permit this, especially if it's a pattern of behavior? "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time "- Maya Angelou. By repeating cycles of this behavior, you're low-key enabling it.

[@TheSphere29]

@antoniotula262 thank you for your comment. I stopped talking to him and haven't looked back. I love him a lot and I've known him for 15 years but what he's done to me in the last 4 years has taught me that our friendship ended. Even if he comes back I'm not planning to talk to him.

[@antoniotula262]

@TheB920 You're welcome. I especially like the last sentence you wrote. You've made up your mind. 15 years is a long time, but he should value that time just as much as you did. Somehow, I'm happy to know you stood up for yourself in this situation.

[@danielkamiot-priso6706]

Thank you i needed this as my going through this

[@Beaumirabel]

This has just happened to me again after a 6 year friendship. Before that it was friends ghosting me after my divorce. It took years to build trust up with this individual and now she's ghosted me. I feel like am worthless, I'm an embarrassment, what is wrong with me, I don't want to face anyone, how will I trust anyone now, how can I have friends, I just don't understand.

[@lakitacovington7677]

Great advice. I needed to hear this. Ty!♡

[@NinaAmir]

I'm so glad!

[@H4NGM4NDVD]

As someone who is a serial ghoster i tend to do it when im fed up, ive usually already explained to that person what i will and wont put up with and they choose what they will and wont accept. If i see that they arent on the same wavelength or dont want to put in the same effort im not going to bother argueing with them, im not going to put in anymore energy, i will simply leave.

[@saram5659]

Ghosting someone is very cruel. Please reconsider, they can't mind read you know

[@H4NGM4NDVD]

@@saram5659 no mindreading required, please reread the comment

[@leahale]

@@saram5659 You clearly did not read their comment. I ghosted too. If someone does not respect my boundary after I told them. I will ghost. And I will do it again if I need to. I have never been ghosted but I do it to other people who deserve it. I don't give multiple chances.

[@marmackk]

@@leahale But that is not ghosting.Ghosting is when the ghoster ends the relationship without any prior communication that something was wrong.What you did is going no contact.

[@NinaAmir]

But you explained. That's great! Then...it's your choice to opt out.

[@Miakel]

I was here to befriend a ghost, but this is still interesting.

[@Sailsea678]

I tried reaching out to an old friend after many years of not talking. Got blocked and got no explanation as to why. It hurts but i guess i just have to move on

[@NinaAmir]

Indeed, you do. Otherwise, you are stuck in the past. That friend moved on. Why not you?

[@GretchenLodaSoprano]

I keep meeting people for the first time. They ask me for my phone number and I never hear from them again. Its really irritating, they should not bother asking for my number unless they mean it. They are just flaky and wasting people's time.

[@NinaAmir]

That's a kind of ghosting. Maybe be more discerning in who you give your number to...

[@GretchenLodaSoprano]

@@NinaAmir How do you know who is going to ghost you when you meet them? I just think they are wasting everyone's time by not following through. I would prefer they not even ask me. I guess I will assume being ghosted if asked and not put much stalk in the reliability of people is all. There is alot of flaky people now unfortuantly. Its not worth our time.

[@freedomaudit]

Had a very good friend Ghost me two months later he phoned me and left a message FOR GET IT do I really want to be friends with this dude why so I can get ghosted again THR TRUST IS GONE do I really want a friend who I can't trust...trust as expecting at least 30 seconds of communication to a least given me the respect of communication

[@natasharalph866]

Thanks I'm really in these feels right now ♡

[@jakelesnake4927]

That's all fine, I'd like to do that, but I see some of these people that have ghosted when I'm doing activities that I enjoy. I think I'm maybe needy and too negative sometimes. I will try to work on thee aspects of my interactions, although I seem to find the more I concentrate on how I'm interacting with someone the worse it goes, as I feel self-conscious and start to struggle to interact at all. I also lead a very easy life compared to most of my friends and I can understand why this would be irritating for them. I can't really make my life hard just to fit in. I don't find either explanation easy to manage. Thinking people are jealous of you is a very arrogant state of mind which I don't want to inhabit. Thinking you interact badly leaves me feeling down about myself, as I value social interactions with people I like. I'm also a single man and I think this can be threatening to both men and women for different reasons, and obviously there's nothing I can do about being a man. I suspect being in a relationship would do wonders for my social life, but it still seems like a terrible reason to get into one.. I haven't done anything specifically to offend these people, as far as I can tell. So I assume it's either my situation, or probably my character that puts them off and that makes me feel very insecure. I play music and some of these people will be at events I'm playing at, and I love to surf, and others will be out surfing and at the beach. I'm now dreading seeing them, knowing in my mind I'll be thinking "why the hell did you do that to me, it really hurt, I don't think I did anything to deserve that" knowing that, assuming it's neediness and negativity that put them off in the first place, if they sense even a hint of that going through my mind it will make things much worse, so I can only imagine I'll just have to interact with them as if they didn't ignore my messages. They will likely make some lame excuse we both know is BS and I'll just have to suck it up, smile and be completely inauthentic, which I think people pick up on and is in itself very unattractive. I guess I know now not to try to move the friendship out of the context in which I see them so over time we can both forget about this awkward moment. It really sucks though, the fact that I kind of know that they know this situation will arise by just ignoring me, yet they feel the awkwardness is worth it not to have to interact with me reinforces in my mind how much they must actively dislike me, and these were people I thought were friends. It leaves you questioning all your relationships. And it sucks the enjoyment out of doing the things I love to do that might help me forget about them and focus on things I love. Often the advice about this sort of thing is to just do something you enjoy and you'll find the people that like that too and will naturally bond, but when it's the people that I do the thing I'm most passionate about with - surfing - it makes that avenue redundant. Just have to not give a fxxx I guess, it's really easier said than done though.

[@NinaAmir]

The thing is...they are interpreting your behavior and you are interpreting theirs. What if you just decided you are okay...and be you? I'm not saying that if you know you could improve something in your behavior that causes issues, you shouldn't work on that. But be okay being you. Let them do what they do.

[@laurenlouise12]

I was ghosted by a 10 year friendship when I got engaged and asked her to be in my wedding. The only thing I can think of is that she was a single mom and she thought that’s what I was going to be with her. But my partner and I ended up getting married and hers left. She cancelled a trip we had to go visit her and said no to being in the wedding. I did the same thing, went through all my messages with her and nothing made sense. I could see a point where she started to get cold and wanted to cut me off. It’s still frustrating to have no answers but also incredibly immature from her to just shut down and tell me nothing when I was being completely open and kind with her.

[@NinaAmir]

It is an immature response.

[@victornava7830]

This video is great! The thing is that in my situation, is super hard cause I can’t entirely close the cicle of the ending friendship because she is a family member… The whole year I’m ok but when Christmas and New Year comes, inevitably, I see this person and it’s super awkward 😕… I used to appreciate so much this person that it’s really uncomfortable to be with someone who doesn’t like you at all anymore Any advice?

[@NinaAmir]

Stand in your power. Be you in those circumstances. Don't be or feel awkward. If you feel that way, you are giving the person power over you.

[@Jeng4280]

This sounds all too familiar with my situation and my circle of friends. I knew this person for not a long time but a little time. I liked her and wanted to be friends with her. She put together something for my circle of friends in 2022 and I strongly believe looking back, she got personally offended when I stated a strong opinion about the place we ate at. She felt personally attacked by me, which was not my intention whatsoever. She went all drama queen mode, started yelling and accusing me and someone else of being ungrateful and not true friends, and then disappeared for about five days. I go out of my way while I'm stuck at an airport coming back home on a Monday to send her what I would call a semi-apology for the way it came across to her. She never responded back to me. I spent too much time and energy, trying to figure out what the hell I did or said so wrong for her to be so offended that she stormed off in a fit. I was really upset about it and since then I've been too obsessed with the fact that our friendship is strained because of the incident and she will never discuss it nor my circle of friends will either. I feel I need to "let it go" as well and move on from it. But I agree...I can't force her to be friends with me if she's not willing to give an inch of her time to me. This friendship to me, is one sided. I'm willing to bury the hatchett and be freinds with her, but I feel like I am the only one in the group she is purposefully ignoring on social media altogether. It's very sad and hurts me deeply. I fight for acceptance with friends, family and everyone else around me. I'm too obsessed with wanting to be accepted and feel my opinions mean nothing to her.

[@NinaAmir]

So...how much longer will you torture yourself over someone that wants nothing to do with you? You are giving your power to her...and hurting yourself. Stop being obsessed...Accept yourself. Love yourself. Let her opinions mean nothing to you. If you did that, what would change for you?

[@jennypappa5643]

It happend to me twise, and yes,it was a disappointment but i let them go.

[@Rsysas]

Even if I did - I have been very careful and always open to critique - more than most.

[@ChristianMiddleton-ub2tc]

6:45 Needed to relearn this lesson personally.

[@DeirdreBaker-zo9gl]

Some people are creeps. I have some great friendships but one who kept ghost in on & off , I just blocked her for good 😊

[@christinagreaves7932]

Thanks for this❤

[@NinaAmir]

You're so welcome!

[@fionagrant2023]

3 months my friend ignored me and now suddenly they text me and want to see me in 1 day. l have been going through hell and no friends. l think l will just repeat her behaviour back to her and see if she likes it 🙄😑

[@NinaAmir]

That's being vengeful. I don't suggest treating them as they treated you to teach them a lesson.

[@fionagrant2023]

@NinaAmir excuse me its none of your business

[@HeatherClark-f5b]

In the end sometimes people ghost other people because they're just sick of them I've been on the giving and receiving end of this There is nothing to fix The last time I saw my dearest friend what's when we were both really stressed out about bad marriages and having a young child My ex-husband was extremely abusive and I must admit that I dumped on my friend When her husband came home, he said to her You'll have to invite Heather to our Christmas party My friend screwed her face up and just said Mmm So I said goodbye quickly, drove around the corner and burst into tears I thought to myself, if she is going to be like that then I am not going to ring her. She can ring me 6 months passed and I realised that nobody had rung anybody Our friendship was over It was my fault If the problem had simply been that last conversation we had, our friendship might have been retrievable But after a while, I realised that I had been a bad friend for a long time, neglecting to put in the work that comes with being a good friend And although the hurt is still there, I understand why she got sick of me She is a quality person with lots of quality friends At the time, she was my only friend Now I have no friends

[@NinaAmir]

Maybe it's time to tell her what you told me. Then you might have a friend again. And don't let that experience stop you from developing more friends.

[@Scodwyer-99]

I hung out with a buddy today for hours and texted him later to do a bit of late night gaming only to be ghosted?

[@NinaAmir]

Did you ever get a response?

[@Scodwyer-99]

​@@NinaAmir Nah but we're still good 👍. Some people are just bad at answering i guess... busy lives and all

[@lillianbarker4292]

I had a difficult friend who I saw a lot because my small family was friends with hers. Our kids played together. But she and her husband divorced. I was uncomfortable because she quizzed me about her ex-husband even when I told her I would not discuss it. I also realized that I didn’t enjoy being with her because she was very nosy and asked embarrassing questions. One day I realized she was on FB with me but never 😊posted or commented so I unfriended her, thinking she wouldn’t notice. I soon got a call asking why. I told her I was uncomfortable having a FB friend who was so shadowy. She kept on asking if we were friends and why didn’t I want to spend time with her. How could I say that I just didn’t like being with her, that she was always nagging me to do things I’d told her I didn’t want to do and having to explain myself? I knew that she would never accept these reasons and would keep hounding me. It’s true I’m a person who patiently endures a situation until I just can’t anymore. I should tell people when they have crossed a line sooner so they might change, but in this case, I knew she wouldn’t change.

[@NinaAmir]

You can't make her change. You can change. Set boundaries. Stick to them. Speak your mind. Be authentic.

[@jm13-m5x]

Here’s my story: i have been picky with choosing friends in my work. There’s this one girl who i felt comfortable being close with. I was surprised when she confessed to me that she liked me for 2 years already. She confessed even though i had a partner already. I kindly rejected her but i told her that i still want to be friends. She said that nothing will change but after few days, she just ghosted me 😢. Im sad cos I lost friend and i just wished she never confessed. I guess i’m watching your vid cos i also want to cut ties with her too.

[@NinaAmir]

And why don't you cut ties with her?

[@GBEZ]

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had to do with the "psychic cords" and the like. I bet you had a lot more hints that they were trying to distance themselves from you before they were just done. I was done in one video.

[@Rasputinovich]

I was ghosted and after listening to Nina, my takeaway was that one is ghosted for good reason. If I sprayed sage to solve a problem, everyone I know would be ghosting me.

[@NinaAmir]

It's not about solving a problem. It's about healing or moving on from relationships with honesty.

[@Rasputinovich]

@ Spraying sage involves magical thinking.

[@susanmann5286]

The person who no longer wants to be friends has not necessarily done something wrong.

[@NinaAmir]

Not in all cases...but they can at least share their reasons for parting ways.

[@michaeldulsky8492]

Some people are also 'Narcissists, bottom line. They are extremely selfish, they will only call when they need a favor or to use you for supply. Oh well, it's their loss in the end called, "Bad Karma". God takes these people out of your life to protect you. That's why they are ghosting. Byyyeee 🙏

[@Sadie-d4r]

It's infantile behavior. Don't contort yourself over it. Clearly not a worthy friend, and you're right - it's her loss.

[@Sam_Smith1987]

As soon as the sage mumbo jumbo stuff started I’m out

[@illiadorival6394]

Human beings. As long as they don’t have the Love ❤️ of God . They will change, and hurt you more

[@Joeyal123]

My autism drove my friend to ghost me

[@NinaAmir]

Well, that is sad...but you are better off without someone who doesn't accept you as you are.

[@martalowry41]

Maybe it was a forgotten birthday🎉or political💙♥️

[@CPTCOOP22]

I have ghosted people because i just do not want or need 'friends' that are either pushy needy. Ghosting = they should go drain someone else.

[@coolvania]

Why not inform them about the behavior that’s pushing you away instead of just simply disappearing?

[@CPTCOOP22]

@@coolvania Even after talking to them, they still continued in their same way of doing things, sadly.

[@56348u]

Good for you.

[@NinaAmir]

Okay. But ghosting without explanation can be controlling.

[@CPTCOOP22]

@@NinaAmir Yes, and I am the one in charge of my wellbeing. In that case, they stand down or I make them stand down.

[@gmd622]

Beware to the use of sage which is a dangerous practice to the dark arts. Pray to God who is always there. 🕊 ✝️ ❤

[@NinaAmir]

Sage is not a dark arts practice. Native Americans have used sage for years, as have other indiginous tribes.

[@tynic7573]

They burned sage in the Bible