5 Steps to Curate More Self-Love In Your Life - Terri Cole

[@terri_cole]

Which area do you need to focus on when it comes to prioritizing self love? Which area are you already really good at? I want to know your thoughts!

[@CallieKares]

See my comment below. 😉

[@water7599]

There’s a kid song about boundaries on KZbin , thought you might like it. Love your materials and book so muchhhhh❤❤❤❤🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 kzbin.info/www/bejne/l4Spp32YiLaXd5Y

[@traysjourneysouthflorida2265]

I need to prioritize myself before demanding work deadlines and pace. I hit a burnout wall several months ago and relapsed a month ago. Burnout is no joke. Reading your book has helped a lot. I do some form of self love/care daily. Watching videos, meditating and at times, massages. Having said that, I’ve struggled. I go hours without standing or eating during work, I compromise my days off. I’m on a mission to prioritize myself. Thanks for your videos.

[@Veronika.Syrotkina]

Loved this episode immensely ❤☺️ thank you 🙏🏼

[@terri_cole]

So glad you enjoyed it 💕

[@CallieKares]

Thank you so much Terri for sharing the story about your loving husband, it brought tears to my eyes. It touched my heart deeply to know that there are kind loving conscious men in our world that really want to honor and cherish their woman/wife. By the way, i have promoted your boundary work to copious amount of people, both women and men and whole heartedly appreciate the work you are doing for boundary setting. After ending a marriage with a covert narcissist your book and videos have been a part of my healing and growth. Infinite gratitude to you Terry from this empathic and empowered Sister!

[@terri_cole]

Thank you, Callie, I appreciate you ❤❤ So happy to hear the books and vids are helping you!

[@ivanavucinic8512]

Not only did it shed some light, but your 'Vic being 10sec late' story made me cry :) Thank you, Terri.

[@terri_cole]

❤❤

[@adamparsons9507]

It’s amazing how much I get out of these posts.

[@terri_cole]

Thank you - I'm glad you find it helpful!

[@carolinekelly8481]

Me too I listen everyday great stuff when some soul is helping humanity bless Terri ❤

[@khosipenelope5731]

Coming across your book is the best thing that happened to me this year. I then followed you on all socials. You are amazing and truly a blessing in this generation. May God richly bless you🥺❤️

[@jillwklausen]

I saw a meme the other day that made me realize I had to work a lot harder and go a lot deeper to realize self love, because despite practicing everything you suggest in this video, the one thing I don't do for myself is forgive myself for past mistakes. I find myself haunted at night when I lay down to sleep by things I did unintentionally that I wish I could go back and do over. Like when I lived in Mexico in the early '90s and decided to start doing stray animal rescue because I saw so much of it and it broke my heart. Ultimately, an animal shelter exists today in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, in part because I brought people together who had the resources or connections to make it happen, got veterinarians to participate, and started the fundraising efforts. I personally rescued several animals from the streets and beaches and found homes for almost all of them as well. It's the "almost" that is killing me. In the very beginning, there was a cat that lived on the resort where I worked that seemed to know I would save it and came to me every shift I was there. Thinking I couldn't keep this cat myself because mine wouldn't tolerate it, and not even thinking about looking for an adoptive home at that point, I decided to try the the "trap, spay, and release," thing. So I scooped the little guy up, got him fixed, took him home for his recovery, then brought him back to the resort where he'd been thriving for years. I had learned in the mean time that the owner didn't like having cats on the property, but for some reason I had gotten it into my head that he'd be OK if the cat was fixed and didn't pose a risk of making even more cats to run the place over. In retrospect, that was probably wrong, and I worry to this day they the owner had it trapped and put down after I no longer worked there. And I feel enormous guilt that I let this sweet cat get used to being in a home for even a short period and being fed regularly with cat food, only to make it fend for itself in the wild again. I'm crying again right now just writing about it and it's been nearly 30 years. And it was just a cat. A cat that knew how to survive. A cat that I helped. But I didn't help it "enough." And for some reason, I can't forgive myself despite all the other animals I helped after that. Like you and the train depot, I don't know if this is a substitute for something bigger that I haven't forgiven myself for, but like you said, it doesn't have to be. I just need to learn to love myself enough to practice the forgiveness I'd most certainly afford anyone else. I simply don't know how. So thank you for this reminder that it is important to really work on this part of myself. I hope you have a beautiful day. ETA: I went back to find that meme, and here it is: "Everything changes when you begin to love yourself. You no longer send out energy of desperation or need to be filled from the outside. You become a powerful source within yourself that attracts better. The more you love who you are, the less you seek validation and approval."

[@TalD]

Jill, it sounds like you have a beautiful soul! What a wonderful thing you did while you were in Mexico. And yes, while you couldn't help all the animals, you were able to help so many others, and what a world of difference you've made! Often I fall into the same trap as you - focusing on my regrets rather than seeing my accomplishments. Like focusing on the half empty part of the glass. It's hard to forgive ourselves for certain things, but it's helpful to recognize that all of us do that. It is a very human thing to do! What I've learned is that self love doesn't mean we don't feel regret or moments where we can't forgive ourselves. It's more feeling everything we feel and being okay with it all. I wish you much peace and love!

[@jillwklausen]

@@TalD,, thank you so much for your kindness. Your words of comfort mean the world to me. Have a beautiful day.

[@scarlettpj2020vision]

Love how you talk about and encourage healthy boundaries! 👌🏻 It’s such an essential factor in sustaining mental health, overall wellbeing, self empowerment and our sense of self worth, freedom and belonging to one’s self first and foremost. After hearing you speak on the conversation you had with your partner expressing how dejected it makes you feel when he isn’t there when your train arrives, has somehow liberated me and given me the courage to start being this radically honest with my partner, to help further cultivate a more fulfilling dynamic within our relationship, as well as in my friendships and other relationships as appropriate. Thank you! Also loving your more natural look; it beautifully exudes natural confidence👌🏻It’s perfection and matches the level of grace, sophistication and finesse encompassed within the elegance of your mind that you’ve shared in the video.

[@terri_cole]

Thank youuu ❤️❤️ So glad this resonated with you and encouraged you to share your needs!

[@gregariasanchez1801]

Acabo de llegar de un viaje muy largo, que hubiera podido ser más largo aún. Me dio trabajo darme cuenta que no quería ir a ver a mis primas que estaban a 12 horas de camino todavía de mi primera parada. Fue difícil convencerme de que mi cansancio era más importante que las promesas y planes que habíamos hecho juntas. Tuve que vagar por mi ciudad natal varias horas haciendo nada hasta que me convencí de que era más importante estar tranquila y descansada que ir corriendo a verlas. Les hablé y me entendieron perfectamente. Fue un descanso mental y, para mí, una muestra de amor a mí misma. Gracias Terri por tu sabia guía. ❤

[@terri_cole]

Me alegro de que hayas encontrado útil ❤

[@finnianfinnian8359]

Thanks Teri💗

[@emaliajames6862]

Hi I’m Yemaya Thank you for making this video 🙂

[@terri_cole]

Hello and welcome, Yemaya! Thank you for being here ❤

[@alessaxn]

Really needed this today. Thank you 💕 as a recovering codependent, i was wondering if you could do a video on how to show up in life from a grounded centred calm place (inner emotional and mental state). I would really appreciate it.

[@terri_cole]

Alessa, this vid is on self regulating emotions, though it isn't directly related to codependency: kzbin.info/www/bejne/q5KZhGSJZsl1rJY (A short vid on emotional regulation is also coming on Saturday!) I did an interview with Shannon Kaiser on Unshakeable Inner Peace that might be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/eni1dodjgdygf5Y And I have a vid on 8 mental wellness strategies for everyday life here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/kHbFqad4gq1_htU

[@alessaxn]

@@terri_cole thank you very much 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 so grateful

[@sylviamalaika785]

Thanks for letting us in on all the useful, life changing nuggets. Cindy in Nairobi

[@nieszkako]

I LOVE the discussion around boundaries. As I get better setting all kinds of boundaries I find my life really changing in such a positive way. And I look to your videos for information, inspiration, and motivation. But I found this comment of yours interesting, and forgive me I'm paraphrasing - 'If you're religous well, maybe masturbation isn't part of your culture but if you want to be mentally healthy well masturbation is for you!' LOL. Low key shade there. Sexual energy is very powerful and needs to be expressed somehow. Feeling comfortable with your body is important, loving your body and knowing your body is important, having sexual boundaries is SO important and I understand that people have a lot of confusion and shame around sex. It seems no matter what side of the aisle you're on, someone is always shaming you - you're either too prude, or too promiscuous. We clearly haven't figured this out quite yet. However, sexual energy can be expressed in more than one way and still be mentally healthy, not just through sex and masturbation. There's an assumption here (and maybe more broadly in our hyper-sexualized culture) that the only reason people don't masturbate (at least not as often as they should - whoever decides that) is sexual shame or religious oppression. Another assumption is that masturbation provides the same sort of mental, emotional, psychological, and physical health benefits that sex with a trusted and loving partner would. Another assumption is that the best way to express sexual energy is through sexual activity not by channeling that energy into other meaningful, creative work. I think that it would be interesting to explore all of these assumptions further.

[@angellove6023]

I told my husband I'm not going to do this or that anymore. Even if I felt the last years that I wanted to overcome myself, being non-dualitisc, etc... But I'm the only one who's investing in his daughter and I feel drained a few months ago. She doesn't do practically anything. So, I'm taking care of myself. But I still had to tell him. But I did. Anyway, I have to be careful because my heart is quickly opened when she's "nice" to me. Afterwards it's only crumbles she gives. I have to hold myself and give the love to me. Thanks dear Terri, love you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@terri_cole]

Amazing shift, angel!! Keep taking care of yourself ❤

[@angellove6023]

@@terri_cole thanks for your endless love and care Terri, love you ❤️❤️❤️

[@angellove6023]

@@terri_cole now I get silent treatment from my husband . I read that everybody has narcissistic traits. I don't know what to do with it. I locked myself in another room to protect myself from his negative energy, act. 🙏

[@Nicole_elizabeth1561]

Terri thanks for another great video. I find your calm confidence to be so soothing and something I aim for within myself. I'm learning that I've been self abandoning my whole life and it has been a huge cause of my anxiety and poor self image. Your book and videos have helped me greatly as well as a few months of therapy. I'm going into this holiday season with a new inner peace ✌️

[@terri_cole]

This warms my heart, Niky ❤

[@mariamckeon3532]

Terri … Once again love your video,message and steps ..Grateful to have found your work ❤

[@terri_cole]

Thank you for being here, Maria ❤

[@khosipenelope5731]

Please recommend something one could read in regard to self sexuality because i always feel so much shame and guilt after exploring 😬

[@terri_cole]

Here is a good article that might help you www.goodtherapy.org/blog/Shame-Around-Masturbation

[@AllyKit]

Great story about your husband. What would you do if your train arrived and he was there for the first few times after you shared your feelings with him, then he went back to not being there? I have no problem sharing my feelings but I feel like I have the same conversations over and over. This includes my sister as well, whom I have repeatedly asked not to share details of my personal life with my father yet she continues to do so. It has caused a rift so great that I didn’t speak to him for two years as well as her for almost as long and yet she still does it. In both situations they promise they won’t do it again and they do, or they simply act as though I am being hypersensitive. I’m quite clear with my boundaries and communication style since I am not conflict avoidant, but what does one do next when not taken seriously? These are my only family and I can’t keep cutting them out of my life. Side note: Funny you talked about shoes in the house as another example. I can’t get my husband to take his shoes off, and he works in a hospital! He says it’s not safe for him to walk barefoot and has refused to do the house-shoe only thing because he is in and out of the garage working so much. Naturally he feels his needs are just as important as mine and I’m being controlling. So how does one compromise in this case?

[@terri_cole]

I understand your frustration. You need two people to be willing to compromise in order to find a place in the middle and it sounds like your husband is not willing to, so I think you have to decide how important it is to you. If you know your sister will tell your father things then I think you have to only tell her things you don’t mind him knowing since you cannot control her. The relationship has a trust limit so it is on you to decide if you are willing to keep participating in that cycle or if you modify what you tell her based on her past behavior.

[@AllyKit]

Ouch. I am not even heard here while others get responses. Seems to be an ongoing theme in my life. Wonder what I am doing wrong to warrant this.