5 things I NEVER saw coming with my transition

[@kylewagoner]

Shout out to all of us 30+-year-olds figuring our shit out this late into the game.

[@LeahPassaniti]

Huge shout out 💖

[@Gothicsilencer]

Checking in. Just started HRT 6 weeks ago.

[@Cptkirk1315]

We may be a little slow but we still deserve to find happiness in ourselves❤️

[@Gothicsilencer]

Like... Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy that younger people are getting to figure themselves out these days. But what was I gonna do with this information back in the 1990s in the US Mid-West? It's a miracle I found my way out of the epic level of repression I had myself in.

[@Jasmin1990z]

30 is better than 60 lol

[@Major-DoMo]

That hyper-vigilant mode is such a mood. 35 now and only recently figuring it out. Being relaxed and joyful now is sooo odd and really validating 😂

[@LeahPassaniti]

@@Major-DoMo ikr?? Really makes me realize how much better my body runs on E. My whole hormonal / physiological system was outta whack and it just felt weirdddd

[@Major-DoMo]

@ I’ll happily sacrifice my learned motor skills all over again for how much better I feel now. Everything does just feel right. Also, can the lady at my thaifood restaurant stop asking me to open jars 😂 I’ve run out of new ways to show her how to use random objects in assist… i get it, I can’t open them by hand anymore

[@pedroff_1]

I also noticed I started working out so much more than before HRT. Honestly, it isn't wven HRT itself, but seeing myself getting stronger through the lenses of me being a woman just seems actively appealing, while being a buff guy felt so so offputting. Honestly, I'm probably the most muscular I've ever been, even with T suppression and all, just from the fact I found an incentive to eat more, to work out more and more regularly, and to like the changes that brings me

[@LeahPassaniti]

Awh well that's so awesome and relatable! Thank u for commenting and sharing. I can't wait to have massive world ending thighs.

[@zotha]

I got a massive boost in drive when I realized I was now working towards the body I fit into and not the body that was making my brain sore all the time. I've lost 15KG in the last 5 months since I started HRT and am now exercising daily. Started actually caring for my skin and hair properly. So much small change because of a fresh outlook.

[@GreenGearStudio]

Something I never expected was my change in fashion sense, or even that I had one at all. Always hated clothing shopping, but after HRT, I suddenly am a punk dommy mommy

[@LeahPassaniti]

I feel that! I'm still not that fashionable, but I care a lot more about style, aesthetic, and buying stuff is fun and interesting instead of a chore C:

[@Gothicsilencer]

Damn, are you me? I've just started transitioning and all the sudden I have... Opinions? Taste? It's honestly wild...

[@Necrophyllis.]

I find the more feminine I get the more comfortable with being masculine I get.

[@LeahPassaniti]

TRUUUUU couldn't have said it better

[@Lana0329]

This!

[@RedDeadSakharine]

I've got a similar thing in reverse. Now that I'm on T, I'm not "allergic" to the color pink anymore. Because I feel safer in my masculinity.

[@Countess1476]

One change I didn’t expect so fast was going from flat to a C cup in 4 months, I’m only four months in it’s wild. Also noticing my fashion has changed almost like I finally wear so much more black, reds, bolder colours and so much more jewellery, chokers.

[@LeahPassaniti]

@@Countess1476 thanks for sharing C: that is some pretty fast breast growth!

[@Countess1476]

@ thank you! It hurts… all the time! 😂 also after watching your whole video through, I have weirdly become worse at driving and my sense of direction has started to get worse too and it definitely feels like it’s because I’m not in flight or fight constantly anymore.

[@thedudeatx1]

I felt the body hair dysphoria thing _so_ much. HRT thinning it out helped a lot.

[@LeahPassaniti]

For sure! Something I never expected to make such a big difference

[@_Jun3]

I think you made a good point about the fight or flight. I definitely feel a lot less aware of my surroundings since getting to a point in my transition that I pass 80% of the time. To the point that I get ma'am'd even when I'm trying to "boy mode" and I'm in my work attire. Since I'm not so hyperaware of my body because I'm comfy in it, I am very relaxed. Sometimes it scare me, but it's nice to not be so on edge all the time.

[@LeahPassaniti]

It is nice to not be on edge all the time C: I feel like I can actually relax! And sleeping is so much easier and better

[@IcarusPax]

Hey hey! Just wanted to let you know that I found your channel from that transition update video. I seriously connected with your story and subscribed then. Not that politics aren’t interesting or important but I just wanted you to know that the subscriber increase you had is definitely because of your vibe! I’m on HRT too, & mtf / enby but lean more masc, and seeing someone who I can relate to is awesome especially since there are not many of us out there 😭❤️

[@LeahPassaniti]

Awh well thank you so much! I really appreciate you ;-; Yah I'm happy to provide some enby representation C: even if I struggle with feeling "not genderqueer enough" in my presentation if that makes sense. Something I just have to get over C:

[@alyssalovethedj]

One thing I was not ready for during my transition, was the first gender confirmation I got from others being extremely negative..

[@LeahPassaniti]

@@alyssalovethedj im sorry to hear that :C

[@Nijonibi]

thank you for the video :) just when i needed it, just like the last one.

[@LeahPassaniti]

@@Nijonibi awhhh glad to hear it!!!

[@Rizzlebeef]

Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable. It's refreshing to hear, to someone who's 37 and just starting the journey.

[@LeahPassaniti]

@@Rizzlebeef happy to be here, thank you for watching and commenting!!

[@WitchTheRed]

Im a much older trans person, and I started to watch this video "with skepticism" as i often do. I found a parallel with everything you talked about. You have a really refreshing and down to earth personality. Im a fan now and keep the content coming.

[@LeahPassaniti]

Ahhh that's so kind ;-; thank u for your support!!

[@Fancy_Francine]

Really got me in the feels with the protector part, just surviving through layers of masc'ing til I could finally take full possession of my self and be myself, so true.

[@LeahPassaniti]

Awh I'm glad it spoke to you!! 😊

[@hannahbanana87]

I unfortuantely used a lot of opposite face filters pretransition and it gave me bad expectations. About to hit 2 years and im finally happy with who i see in the mirror.

[@LeahPassaniti]

I'm glad you're happy with your results, that's really good to hear ☺️

[@moldyfemcheese]

Today is the 3 month mark of being on E and I’ve had a few things that’ve surprised me too. Recently I’ve found a few masculine men attractive where I used to only find feminine men and pretty much all women and enby’s attractive. Pre-hrt I thought I might be gender-fluid then mtf, but after being on feminizing hormones I’ve realized that I’m actually agender, but would still like to be more fem presenting. Realizing that I’m agender though has really helped with facial hair dysphoria for me. Lastly, the want for being a “muscle mommy” is the realest thing. Wasn’t interested pre-hormones, but now…lol

[@LeahPassaniti]

Glad u found some of what I talked about relatable C: thanks for sharing btw!

[@euc5957]

The doing things worse thing kinda reminds me about a person who discovered they were autistic and as they began working on unmasking they also were worse at many things. Cant remember where I heard about that though

[@LeahPassaniti]

Honestly I didn't mention it, but this is also prolly a part of me getting worse at stuff lol

[@kokojo4872]

How are you so confident with low subscribers? Honestly it's really cool to watch and I ask to understand more if you do. Definitely got my subscription

[@LeahPassaniti]

Thank you! Honestly the confidence comes from life experience and it's also just part of my personality. I don't need a ton of subs to "prove" I'm smart or funny or something. I appreciate ur support!

[@MaskedImposter]

Lol what does subscribers have to do with confidence? 😂

[@MaxDaStubid]

Idk who needs to read this, but you're here, and you're beautiful or handsome. You're valid. Smile! 💙🩷🤍🩷💙 you're all loved.

[@MaxDaStubid]

I'm actually going to take your advice and drink some water. No, not because you told me to, but because my kidneys are sad.

[@LeahPassaniti]

Enjoy the water! Thanks for commenting n stuff C:

[@MaxDaStubid]

@LeahPassaniti Big news for me. I told my therapist today, and they gave me affirmations and stuff to research to help! I'm so excited.

[@MaxDaStubid]

@@LeahPassaniti also I will! Hawley (PA) water is kinda grosssss tho.

[@FokudaIsao]

Very interesting video, thanks for sharing! It made me realize one of the biggest things I didn’t see coming. I got the chance to finally deconstruct what I had from growing up in a shaving/waxing culture. I’m FtM, and was hairy in some areas (lower legs, arms) but not in others (funny enough the armpits, despite my Italian heritage). On the first 6 months of transition I got tons of body hair, and I would trim it, whereas now (10 months in), it can trigger disforia if I trim it “too much”. I thought I had deconstructed stuff when I moved to Canada (people don’t give a 💩 about body hair where I live), but turns out I waxed/trimmed for reasons other than just a personal preference. I’m at peace and very much enjoying my body hair now!

[@LeahPassaniti]

Awh so glad that ur relationship with your body hair has improved so much! Thank you for sharing ☺️🏳️‍⚧️🤗

[@Randies0124-df8eq]

Thank you for your inciteful presentation! And thank the algorithm gods for sending it to me! 🤪 It is great to hear about other people's transition experience. I relate to much of what you describe, and find the parts that are different super interesting. I am 69 and started transition less than one year ago. So much of my life that was confusing began to make sense since my egg cracked. 😀 Now I want to explore your other content, but please keep making the trans related videos!

[@LeahPassaniti]

I hope you enjoy the rest of my content, and huge congratulations on finding yourself and having the courage to take the journey ☺️ that's so beautiful, wishing you so much joy and peace 💖 I'll for sure make more transition content dw!

[@Bou_Diran]

I def relate to a lot of this but its fun to hear how another trans person's experience differs too~

[@LeahPassaniti]

Awh das good C: thank u for commenting!

[@serenasynthesis]

Muscle mommy reporting in! I was a 280 pound fat man prior to starting transition and very much hated my body. While it still would have been my preference to have transitioned to a cute sexy little girl, my close second-place and somewhere I can actually achieve is to be a cosplay muscle MILF who can hopefully pull off "cute yet threatening". I'm in my mid-40s, I've been on the juice for almost five years, but as far as I'm concerned it's never too late. Re: working out -- the goal in working out is to be able to get to your next workout. If you push too hard and can't get to that next workout, then you've foiled your ability to keep moving forward. (Subscribed!)

[@LeahPassaniti]

Thanks for the sub! Love to hear that you've been enjoying being a muscle milf lol. Also that's a good point! I'm gonna be prepared for my next workout instead of being too sore or destroyed to do it

[@General2550]

Ayyyy fire flow fam 🤘🤘❤️‍🔥🤘🤘

[@LeahPassaniti]

Ayeee! I would love to do some fire n flow videos in the future :3

[@binomial]

About 1 week into hrt I bit into an apple and it just tasted so good. The flavor was so much more intense and the sweetness was stronger. At first I thought it was just the apple but before long realized all food tasted better. Estrogen literally made food better. A year and five months later and I'm still amazed. Also I'm going to vote in about 2 hours.

[@LeahPassaniti]

Thank you for voting! Ur awesome C: This has been really pronounced w smells for me. Smells are soooo much stronger and I'm so much more sensitive to them. Taste is definitely more intense too! It's really interesting!

[@MateusAntonioBittencourt]

I smiled when you talked about attraction/gender envy of women, because that's me. Sometimes I see a women and I'm attracted to them in the sense of I wanna be you, while other times is I wanna be with you. And figuring out the distinction was a journey. (A silly example, I wanna be Vi from Arcana, I wanna be with Cait) I remember playing The Sims, and creating me as the het-cis man, then I would create my "perfect woman" as wife, that had nothing to do with the women I'm sexually attracted to, but now I realize it's the woman I wish I could be. Today I consider myself non-binary, currently I have no wish/need to transition beyond playing with my gender presentation, wearing makeup, nails, etc.

[@LeahPassaniti]

This was interesting to read, thank you for sharing ! C: Gender envy can seriously be so confusing. I think it should be talked about more, as a young person I just simply had no idea how to distinguish between envy and attraction.

[@blakemtg47]

This really makes me feel more hopeful about my future.

[@LeahPassaniti]

Awh that's good! C:

[@LexiePoyser]

Getting transitioning information/vlogs and news information all in one place, I’m in. From one trans woman to another, keep up the good work. You got this, remember, you’re not obligated to take shit from anyone.

[@LeahPassaniti]

Awh thank you so much ;-;

[@darkhelmet4466]

Great video!

[@LeahPassaniti]

@@darkhelmet4466 thank u!!

[@HotDogTimeMachine385]

Switching from receiving transphobia to misogyny, yay! ...saying that out loud is so bad😅

[@LeahPassaniti]

@@HotDogTimeMachine385 right???

[@jenaf4208]

Im now a bit more anxious after letting go of the protective shell, but I am confident that that will faye over time as I get more used to be fem in public.

[@LeahPassaniti]

I can relate to that. It feels very vulnerable and scary to be out and open and presenting how you want. It definitely does get easier with time, I believe in u! 💞

[@BlightningBrightling]

Heyy I just turned 31 in June, been on hrt for a little over 6 months, socially transitioning for about 18 months, and I guess the algorithm just figured it was meant to be

[@LeahPassaniti]

@@BlightningBrightling thanks for sharing C: glad the algorithm brought you to my channel!! I'm happy you related so much to stuffs I said 😊 I've thought about it. I'm relatively certain I'm ADHD autistic but I've never really had the tests done to verify it.

[@monytontana5184]

Hey, tardy to this party, late bloomers... But overall absolutely worth the wait. I feel you on the body hair hatred, "aliens in the skin" is a good way to put it. Also, your voice is just immaculate 🖤 any advice or sources?

[@LeahPassaniti]

Not too tardy :p you're fine! People keep saying this, and I'm not gonna lie, I have a hard time understanding why! I did do voice training, I just used the popular KZbinrs as guides. I have a background in music and at one point wanted to be a voice actor so it wasn't all that challenging for me to approach. I could make a video bout it at some point!

[@stellamarie32]

Oh, I'm also 30 years and just celebrated my first year E-nniversary! You've definitely got a new sub from me, sis! ☺️🏳️‍⚧️

[@LeahPassaniti]

Thank you sis ☺️ and happy E-nniversary!!

[@time4clocks]

I probably can't do three push ups either. I remember in school other boys saying I was weak like a girl. If they only knew. 🤣🤣I would love to see an eye makeup tutorial or some tips on voice because you sound great. 🥰🏳‍⚧

[@LeahPassaniti]

Sure I'd be willing to do a voice training video! I could do a makeup tutorial but fr, I'm not great at it lmao. I only really use concealer, mascara, and pencil liner..

[@Jasmin1990z]

I am 4 months into my transition and its been crazy.

[@LeahPassaniti]

It's a wild ride! I hope it's been good for you

[@Jasmin1990z]

@@LeahPassaniti Iv had so many cis women say there jealous of my hair and bob size, it's funny. I forget sometimes when I wave to a guy or something with a girl it's not the same anymore. A girl did a double take at me and him after I waved. lol

[@LarryPhischman]

I'm 7 months ahead of you in HRT, started at 34, and girl, you ain't seen nothing yet. Trans women tell us that the big changes start in the second year, and they're not kidding. My face is changing in almost real time, I get pseudo-periods now, my limbs are shrinking, and I think my hips might be growing. That said, I'm only just committing to social transition. This is my first week out at work; I didn't plan the timing relative to the election, I just hate my old clothes and need to start switching my wardrobe. I also just got a raise so I have money spend on real human clothes. My body hair was itchy, and made my DPDR worse because my sense of touch was distorted. I felt static everywhere all the time, and the itching from body hair made it worse. Now my body hair is mostly blanched and thinned, but I still remove weekly. I chose a new name almost immediately after I accepted being trans, and now I'm using it in the wild. I'm much better at my job since I started HRT. I have a lot more brain power to use on stuff other than survival. I was ace when I started HRT. Then 6 months in I developed a libido for the first time and discovered women. And then two months later I started noticing men. It took me 8 months to accept being bi. I still prefer women, but later in transition, after bottom surgery, I want to try dating men. My transition goal is Christina Hendricks. I'm getting a BA next summer.

[@LeahPassaniti]

Yeah I'm still so early in transition, I'm sure I'll have even more stuff I don't see coming later down the road C: it's kinda beautiful how long and nonlinear of a process transition is. Getting better at your job is neat, I kinda feel that, but also I feel like people take me less seriously bc I'm a girl so people just don't listen when I speak now x-x ppl used to take me so seriously Thanks for sharing, I really appreciate it C:

[@charlieb6210]

a good thing about having a bit of extra weight in the first years of transition is increased breast growth. at least i believe that having some extra fat for hrt to move around helps vs. being underweight. i’m a distance runner and have made sure to eat plenty as i build the best looking a** i have ever had and am at tanner stage 5 after a year and a half. hoping for full c’s by the end of two years 🤞 ❤

[@LeahPassaniti]

Praying to the boob gods! That's very true. I feel like I've had a lot of fat redistribution and eating a lot early in transition is for sure something I would recommend. Gotta have nutrients for all the changes!

[@charlieb6210]

@ i’m trying to not think about the election and watching your transition videos is helping 💕 i voted this morning (i live in indiana) and it was a lot of camo, mesh back, and high and tight haircuts in the line. scary! i have never seen so many young people voting before.

[@deathguitarist12]

Ive got a few myself. Im 37. I stsrted social transition almost 8 years ago. Medical just over 3 years ago. So ive been at it a while. Some of these unexpected things really threw me 1) i never though passing would be an option. Im big, i have prom8nent masc features. So when i say that it was unexpected, i mean it. It snuck up on me hard. Ill still need FFS to make it more consistent. In this came a huge lesson. Start voicework as soon as possible if you think oassing is something you are going to be interested in. Because it will sneak up on you. 2) large boobs can actually suck. Like alot relative to my frame, mine arent that big, but st the dametime they sre big. Ive had to git rid of s lot of really nice clothes because they woildnt accomodate my boobs. A lot of trans femme folks want tbig breasts. No what you want is appropriately proportioned ones. 3) i really like having muscle now. Who knew. Once the body dysphoria started subsiding, oh muscles are fun, lets get those. 4) neber expected to want surgeries. Hrt reduced other dysphoria so much that suddenly i cery much needed a couple. Its amazing whats hiding 7nderneath the initial layers of dysphoria 5) speaking of things hiding. Hhhhoooooolllllyyyy crap do i have a lot of unreaolved trauma. Spent so much time dissociating due to dysphoria that i was completely disconnected from it. I was agreesively dusabused of the notion that i d8dnt yave any about a year and a half into hrt 6) didnt expect to be nearly as happy as i sm eoth it all. Its been sooooo ssooooo wonderful. I wouldnt trade my transition for anything.

[@LeahPassaniti]

Thank you for sharing!! It's great that transition has exceeded your expectations and that you're happy with how things are going, love that for you!!

[@alaharon1233]

Video starts at 3:32

[@LeahPassaniti]

Thanks!

[@Rex_Stuph]

Hi! I'd following you for a while on either Bluesky or Threads simply because you seemed like a nice person and I'm a simple bean, I see another trans person who seems nice, I follow.. then here's your face in the recommended videos! 😅

[@LeahPassaniti]

Awhhh well thank u for your support C: glad u have been finding my content!! ☺️🏳️‍⚧️

[@Rex_Stuph]

@@LeahPassaniti So apparently i wasn't following on Treads, I was being shown your content so regularly I thought i was. D'oh. Fixed. But yeah, I was like that pre transition with body hair. Now I only shave my chest when the few spikey bits get irritating against underwear. I just went with the feminine alt of my given names. Felt right. And my anxiety over random stuff and multiple arguments over weird stuff in my head ceased as soon as I started running on oestrogen. It was weird. Haven't got the clumsies yet. A couple of my ... seasoned ... trans friends are clumsy AF, so it's real. Since I've only been treated for 4 months maybe I'll start falling over soon 🤣

[@machinistbay]

ive been transitioning for two years and im still painfully aware of my existience and almost never feel relaxed but i think its at the dread that this body is mine

[@LeahPassaniti]

I hope ur able to find comfort in your own body at your own pace, it can be really difficult so I understand it being a struggle

[@machinistbay]

@LeahPassaniti what's strange is that i relate to the feeling of not being bothered by body hair and not really having dysphoria at all anymore idk maybe its cuz im a tomboy but im always on edge and its frustrating

[@machinistbay]

@LeahPassaniti this body is finally starting to feel like mine and its new and scary and oh my god

[@livtown]

i love your voice aaaaaa

[@LeahPassaniti]

Awh thank uuuuu! That's so kind

[@meepmoopiethe3rd]

It's great that your story has gotten you out there more - that's how I came across your channel - but it also kinda sucks when you get boosted for a one-off video that isn't your main content because it incentivises you changing your content. Which is always lame because you're obviously passionate about what you begin with.

[@LeahPassaniti]

Yeahhhh and tbh, I felt like there were already some really great content creators talking bout transition stuffs. I didn't necessarily feel like I could add something interesting to the discourse but ppl have been apparently enjoying my transition videos! I will prolly try to find a way to make it work with doing both, but we shall seeee

[@pandanoia4705]

i love your voice!

[@LeahPassaniti]

Thank uuuu

[@SophiaAGreene]

Hello thought I'd say hi great to your video. Best wishes to you.❤

[@LeahPassaniti]

Thanks!!

[@colsenthissell1012]

This was a good video! Some of these things are things I hope to experience. However, you used probably more words than you needed to in order to convey most of your points, including 'and stuff like that'. This is intended as helpful feedback, I look forward to seeing what you do in the future

[@LeahPassaniti]

Yah you're right! I've always been like that. I'll try to cut it out in the edit if I catch it next time

[@stasacab]

Everyone should go and get their body composition checked pre-transitioning and then do it every now and then. My gym does it every three months or so and they have a diet plan. I can ride bike until I bonk, meaning, my muscles fail or I start falling asleep. I do 7 push-ups every day. Italians are super body-conscious. We Europeans even cannot vote and Trump presidency would screw up things in so many ways in Europe as well. If conservatives see that putting megabucks to anti-trans ads is a winning strategy, then we would see the erosion of our rights as well.

[@LeahPassaniti]

@@stasacab good advice!

[@_Darton_]

haiii :3c

[@LeahPassaniti]

@@_Darton_ :3

[@diablominero]

If you're on progesterone, the getting less attentive and worse at things could be a sign that your dose is a bit too high. Progesterone is a sedative in addition to its gendered features, and people on sedatives aren't exactly famous for being focused and coordinated.

[@LeahPassaniti]

I'm not on progesterone till my next blood test

[@Joel-nu1ed]

0:01 general Kenobi

[@LeahPassaniti]

I tried real hard to figure out what tf u mean but I just have no idea lmao

[@Joel-nu1ed]

@@LeahPassaniti you say hello there and my revenge of Sith loving a says general Kenobi

[@LeahPassaniti]

@Joel-nu1ed ohhhhhh ok 😂