5 Things NOT To Say To Autistic People In 2021

[@IndieAndy]

Hi indie people! How did you find the video? Also what are your thoughts on the term aspergers? 🚨 More Things Not To Say To Autistic People: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aoPSg5t7npt-b5Y

[@modmaker7617]

Not sure. I technically have Asperger's Syndrome and I got a love/hate with the term and Autism as a whole. I have distended myself from the term due to its Nazi connotations because Hans Asperger the person that discovered the diagnosis was a Nazi

[@davidroddini1512]

I personally don’t like either term. ASD causes people to think “Rainman”. Asperger’s not only has nazi ties to it; it also has the phonetic problem “What do you mean by you have @$$ burgers?! On second thought, I’d rather not know!”

[@g.a.christianbilou4193]

So my official diagnosis was 'very high-functioning Asperger's', and I honestly really have no issue with 'Asperger's' or 'aspie'. Oddly, most people with issues with the word, are unaware of the actual facts about Hans Asperger (who was not a member of the NSDAP, but did work under them, and although the deaths of two probably autistic children have been tied to him, he didn't send scores if children to concentration camps as some people suggest.). I am not defending Asperger ( he was probably an arseh*le), but it is so very important to get facts correct. I might also point out that Asperger's should actually be called 'Sukhareva's', after the female, Soviet, Jewish scientist who described the neurotype a decade before Asperger...he read her published findings and stole them with zero acknowledgement, probably because she was female, Jewish, and Russian....and her publication was basically unknown outside of her own country until reasonably recently in part due to two of those same three reasons, and the fact that it had never been translated.

[@robynfromcanada]

Wonderful video. 💜 Labels are very personal. Our society is obsessed with correctness to the exclusion of accurate communication. Labels seem to be always changing! It's important to discuss their accuracy. But on a personal level, your identity is your own. As race and gender and disability become more widely understood, every person should try to act on their understanding with compassion - not just to achieve "correctness". ❤️💛💚💙

[@forgenorman3025]

@@robynfromcanada Labels change to be more accurate in fact. Things like "high/low functioning" are poor labels because there are a lot of assumptions tied to them and they're too simplistic. I might be considered "high functioning", but I still need support, just not as much as others. That's why terms like "high/low *support*" are being used instead. The functioning label was literally a way to classify autistic and neurodivergent kids as "useful" or not, and as a society we need to move away from such ideas because it harms so many people. Change isn't always a bad thing.

[@JadeDRail]

"What's it like to be autistic?" "IDK what's it like to be neurotypical?" I get this for synesthesia. People ask what it is like to see letters and numbers in colours so I ask them what it's like NOT to see numbers and letters in colours.

[@endorolfgreenwolf5265]

Yes, like how are we supposed to know how to be something else? The closest way we can do to knowing how to be something else is roleplaying but you don’t get the actual experience because no matter how much of a good role player you are, you still put yourself into the character you are portraying.

[@RosheenQuynh]

Never thought of it that way regarding synesthesia... Honestly, I think asking questions is fine, it helps understanding one another

[@JadeDRail]

@@RosheenQuynh Of course! It's just hard to answer what it's like to have something when you don't have something to compare it too.

[@RosheenQuynh]

@@JadeDRail Absolutely fair!

[@Zinwaq]

You're rude. And very snotty sounding. No is asking you about that and so SOOOOO many people never even heard of it.

[@lxanthonyluvscats]

Thank you for pointing out how autistic children are very different than autistic adults. It’s tough when people ask me about autistic male children. I have nothing in common with them. My autism appears in very different ways than an child. My attention to detail is amazing, and has helped my flourish in multiple jobs; I know nothing about autistic children who don’t know how to respect personal space or are active stimmers; I was taught to mask traits like that when I was young, and I’m very introverted. Their experience is very different from mine.

[@silentlyjudgingyou]

Person first language creeps me out. If someone needs to rearrange a sentence to remind themselves I'm a human being there is something very wrong with them. Autism isn't like brown hair I can't get something in a store to change it.

[@rev.jesseabelchristianlife6693]

Great video. 🎯 You always make me smile my Brother. 🙂 Unconditional love my friend, always. People can be very rude.

[@maijuk802]

"What special ability do you have?" "Getting stuck on the nitty gritty details. Very useful, don't you think?"

[@abalt3019]

Sooooooo stuck. I can relate!

[@JadeDRail]

I hate when people try to make be feel better about my bipolar disorder by pointing out highly successful bipolar people. And it's like thanks, now I feel like a failure. Sorry I can't live up to highly successful actors, musicians, etc.

[@IndieAndy]

Hmm I get what you mean but I do feel some say things like that with the best intention or as a way to encourage you to succeed I guess. But it's hard to determine what's genuine and just people being doing it being semi passive aggressive or something.

[@JadeDRail]

@@IndieAndy I agree people are just trying to help. But it can be really disheartening when you're barely able to just get by day to day and people keep comparing you to things you can't achieve and you've had to work through giving up on tons of plans and dreams and manage your expectations because of your illness. And also had to work though tons of all consuming guilt because you can't hold a job.

[@whitneymason406]

Great video! My son is 4 years old and has autism level 3. I just got my diagnosis a couple weeks ago and I already had someone say, "I wouldn't have pegged you as autistic." I explained about masking and stimming and how it doesn't have to be overt to be autism. I think since I don't present like my son does some may have trouble seeing how I can have autism too.

[@forgenorman3025]

A neurotypical telling a neurodivergent person how to identify strikes me as so infantilizing, like we can't decide how we want to be labeled, that we need them to "protect" us.

[@josephsells4187]

Hey Andy! The Rubik's cube is beyond me. I've managed to get one color but never anything even close to getting two sides solved.

[@RosheenQuynh]

I don't mind being asked what it's like having autism, I think learning about folks is important

[@IndieAndy]

Ooh don't get me wrong, education is important but it does depend on the tone 😣

[@RosheenQuynh]

@@IndieAndy 🤔 Really? Interesting

[@chandranelson2772]

I once had an acquaintance that told me that her son wasn’t autistic, he was a person who has autism. I just said, cool, cool, I’m autistic. Then she told me that I was wrong. I just left.

[@VlacqKayal]

“But you don’t act autistic” “But... you don’t act British. Where’s your top hat and monocle? Why don’t you have a cup of tea in one hand and a jägerbomb in the other? What do you mean, you don’t watch reality TV or party in Ibiza? Next you’ll be telling me you’ve never played polo with the Queen. Pfft, you can’t be British.” “Uh... but those are just ridiculous stereotypes, most British people aren’t like that.” “Exactly. It’s not the stereotypes that make me autistic.” Or “But you’re not autistic, you’re nothing like my son!” “Ah yes, I, a woman in my thirties, cannot possibly be autistic because I don’t have much in common with a six year old boy. Riiiight.”

[@pastichegraham]

Thanks for this video! ❤️Society isn’t in the right mindset when it comes to the conversation of Autism.

[@g.a.christianbilou4193]

I hate that many people do expect me to have some savant ability...I actually encountered this in a job after I disclosed my neurotype, and had to explain how there are less than 50 savants known on earth, autistic or otherwise.

[@waltsullivan6226]

Your superpower is explaining autism to the normals. I like your idea of saying “what’s it like being you?” It’s all I know.

[@Caitlynmallan]

what's it like being autistic like dude we were born with it we literally don't know anything different what is it like not being autistic

[@Lillyluvsanime]

"What's it like being autistic?" Idunno man, what's it like not being autistic? I've never not been autistic, so I don't have a basis for comparison in my own life. The best I can do is say that, I like people and care about them but for the most part I have trouble understanding them, also I'm stressed like, constantly and have to keep fidget toys on me at all times and sudden loud noises are physically painful and startling. Like.... Idunno what you want me to say. "You don't act autistic." You don't see me every second of my life. Just because I seem okay around you right now doesn't mean I'm not screaming internally, I'll probably go home and hide in my room for a while after this.

[@cooljtoosaucy]

Rest In Peace Andy❤️🙏🏾✝️

[@masrogfortnite]

hi

[@dusktheowlgryphon]

Is it just me, or when you hear loud noises caused by your parents you fear for your life and think it's because of you too? *cough undiagnosed childhood trauma cough*

[@glaceRaven]

Personally, I've never had a problem with the phrase "what's it like being autistic?" Quite the contrary actually, I like it when people ask that, because it opens the door to deeper discourse. That and the fact that I ask NTs what it's like to be neurotypical frequently, so it's only fair. Asking questions like this shows a desire for understanding people different from oneself, since the only way to get that info is to ask! As I mentioned, I personally do this with neurotypicals both because I'm curious and because the vast majority of my friends and relations are in some way neurodivergent, so I have a very small sample size, and thus insufficient data. It is likely that way for allistics who don't know any autistics as well; data is needed to truly understand anything, after all!

[@davidhorn996]

Regarding Hans Asperger, I personally do not know if he was actually good or evil as I see too much unverifiable (to me) commentary regarding him. I know he was a nazi, and everything the Nazis stand for is disgusting to me, but according to people such as Prof Tony Atwood (a prominent Asperger's Syndrome psychologist in Australia), Hans Asperger had to be a nazi to retain his practice, and that he had no capability to save the lives of the children the nazis murdered, but instead opted to use his influence as a pediatrician to save those he could. I do NOT know if this is true or not, but if he was doing all he could to save all he could, then he may not be evil, but of course, if he did willingly condone what the nazis did... he can rot.

[@jupiterjunk]

. My autistic super-power is not caring what 99.99% of the people in the world "think". .

[@AutisticBrain]

This was a great video he was a truly great person it’s sad that he died, I’ve always enjoyed his videos… I miss you Andy ☹😭😭😭

[@JadeDRail]

I love this! People say the stupidest things.

[@DiseaseShaker]

"I'm not Joe Satriani... I'm not Steve Vai..." Name-checking my favourite guitarists! 😂🎸

[@IndieAndy]

Haha fair enough! Though I'm more of a Satriani fan myself, how about you?

[@DiseaseShaker]

@@IndieAndy Yes, I'm more of a Satch man. Flying in a Blue Dream was one of the albums that grabbed me and shaped my tastes.

[@michaelv151]

@@IndieAndy l love them both.

[@thuggie1]

i can do rubric cubes the one you can take to coloured stickers off and then place them on the correct sides supper glue is handy. big brain

[@elennapointer701]

Point number four: oh hell yes. I suspect I'm on the spectrum (my doctor made the first moves towards a referral for assessment just yesterday) but I've been told I don't look autistic by a person who has an autistic nephew, whose autism is severe and visible. Because I don't act like the nephew, I'm obviously not autistic. It really grinds my gears.

[@serpie2482]

“You don’t look autistic” is my favorite. I get it constantly

[@michaelv151]

I have a friend that is autistic, he's more like a little brother. Would it be rude of me to tell him around me he can be himself?

[@abalt3019]

I really like your points in this one Andy! Just well said all around. Keep it positive, lower our kids anxiety and your own if in that boat like myself. ❤️

[@bad_ideas_at_3_am209]

I like your shirt. Well, at least the part, that can be seen. 🙃

[@dbt2787]

This is one of those kinda topics you have to refer to quite a lot as an autistic person, it’s important for NTs to know this 👍

[@sarinalight7422]

I have a Difficult time when some tells me I have special needs but won’t help me when tel, them exactly what I struggle with.😒 I’m won’t grow young, Yet I Enjoy Being a Kid at Heart for as Long as Possible! So 😎💛 Be You. Thank you for your Content here today.

[@rafynatorthevarietygamer1234]

I was asked by people close “are you autistic” and what is it like? At 13, it sent me down the wrong path, but that path forged the Rafael I am today. 18, on KZbin on a Gaming Channel as an autistic person, unemployed but loving life 👍

[@shirazlodhi836]

nice

[@ambersmith6193]

My 2 yr old was diagnosed with severe Autism. And was told the other day that he doesnt 'look' or 'seem' autistic. Ugh! 🙄

[@sarinalight1498]

Thank you

[@auxistic]

People asking whats it like to be autistic is literally people trying to understand you, just say oh idk if you can't answer people and stop taking things so negatively and personally

[@forgenorman3025]

We shouldn't have to hold their hand through explaining that we're human beings, not everyone appreciates being put on the spot while they're out doing things and some of the things people say is actually harmful, not to mention some of these are pretty personal and they're not entitled to an answer. Why should we have to do all the heavy lifting to dispel the stereotypes, especially since a lot of people won't actually listen to us to begin with?

[@robynfromcanada]

@@forgenorman3025 True! It's a big conversation. If someone agrees to wait to talk about it at a later time, they are probably legitimately interested rather than just nosy and rude! 😁

[@robynfromcanada]

Or tell them it's a different experience for every single autistic person! 👍

[@IndieAndy]

I do think some will get it personally as it is quite a personal thing to talk about. Especially if they don't like talking about it for whatever reason.

[@rabeechowdhury]

It's tough though, any sort of advantage I would have gotten from being Autistic is taken away as I have that other disorder that 1 in 9 students have. The two disorders counter each other's advantages but do not cancel out each other's disadvantages.

[@AlexLoweryspeaksaboutautism]

I completely agree with the points you made