5 Things to Do Before You Start Therapy or Counseling

In this video, we explore the things you should do before starting therapy or counseling. Let's get into therapy 101 and the things you need to do or things you should know before starting with therapy. If you're asking yourself: how do I find a counselor or therapist? Or what to do before starting therapy? Or starting therapy for the first time? This video may answer many of the questions you have around how to start counseling or therapy, how to find a counselor or therapist, what to do before beginning counseling or therapy.
More videos you may find helpful:
A therapist's perspective in therapy: • A Therapist's Perspect...
6 things NOT to expect from therapy: • 6 Things NOT to Expect...
4 things NOT to say to your therapist: • 4 Things NOT to Say to...
Firstly, keep track of your symptoms and describe them to your therapist or counselor. You don't need to know the right terminology; just tell them how it feels, what you think, and what's bothering you.
Secondly, set goals for yourself and your time in counseling or therapy. Consider what you hope to get out of it and see if you can come up with a way to communicate that when you make your first appointment.
Thirdly, consider your budget. Run your numbers and see what works for you. Remember there are lower cost options like Betterhelp, Talkspace, and online groups.
Fourthly, write down some things you would like to see in your therapist. What traits do those you love and trust most have? Are there certain things people do that make you more or less comfortable? Considering what we want to see in a therapist is incredibly helpful.
Finally, prepare to be vulnerable. Therapy can be tough, and it can bring up a lot of emotions. But remember, the therapeutic relationship is the number one indicator of success in therapy, so it's important to be open and honest with your therapist.
By following these 5 steps, you can ensure that you get the right help and get the most out of therapy. Remember, therapy is an investment in yourself, and it's worth it.
I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making mental health videos. If you are interested in supporting the creation of mental health videos, please go to: www.katimorton.com/kati-morto...
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[@Katimorton]

The 4 things NOT to say to your therapist: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fmiUZaqkhtNlq9k

[@heartofthewild680]

Is Roxy your dog? Can we see her in your next video? Please?

[@nikkimckay860]

​@@heartofthewild680 hello I'm Nikki from uk and iv been listening and watching Kati Morton for years now she's amazing love her video s Roxy is Kati s puppy 😊

[@BCSchmerker]

+Katimorton *Thanks for the list of pointers, whereto I shall add timestamps:* 0:31 *5. Keep track of your symptoms* 1:32 *4. Set goals for yourself and time in therapy* 2:52 *3. Consider your budget* 5:01 *2. List things that ye want in your therapist* 6:21 *1. Ask for a telephone consultation*

[@stoffls]

Helpful tips, and in my experience sympathy is important to feel secure in therapy. It is ok, not to be able to address everything right away, but feeling comfortable with your therapist really helps a lot.

[@Katimorton]

Agreed!! Thanks for sharing Christoph :) xoxo

[@MabelRD08]

I love how you always include yourself and openly say you're also in therapy; it makes your videos a lot more heartfelt and comforting. Thanks for all your hard work all these years; it certainly doesn't go unnoticed. Te quiero mucho mamá Kinnion❤️💐😘🤗🇩🇴

[@shakurwonders5216]

RIP to ur dad. Much love Kati Morton

[@mihirmaiden18]

Good video and RIP to your dad

[@poohbear0320]

I wish I had seen a video like this before I started therapy.

[@kellylarsen1668]

I totally understand the "not the time to be PC" - however, I also want to say that it can be hard to be that choosy these days with not enough therapists out there. I started a bit over a year ago- I would have probably have chosen a woman older than me. I ended up with a young man. Turns out I really like him and I would have missed out if I'd have gone with what I thought I needed. So I guess I'm saying you never know!

[@fn-2187bb8]

Oh. My. Gosh. Thank you. Needed this. My new therapist, who I'd been on a waitlist for 2 months, just no-showed our intake and has ghosted. 😢 I'm wrecked and demoralized. So now I'm starting from scratch, and this time I'm determined to be careful and choose wisely.

[@toothpastehombre]

My current insurance requirements are as follows: make an appointment with PCP for referral. Wait for behavioral health to contact you to "assist" you with appointment availability with counselor, therapist or psychiatrist as needed. Then call the needed office to book the appointment... All of these calls and appointments need to happen during normal working hours. I work a demanding job with little to no phone service in the building I work at. This means I have to take time off work, 2 or 3 different times, just to book an appointment. Every one of these calls/appointments I have to revisit my mental health history and struggles. The amount of mental health questionarries I've done throughout my life is soul crushing. It may not seem like much, but it is just enough extra stress and hurdles to cross over, I lose resolve on actually pursuing the care I need... And I haven't even discussed deductibles and advanced scheduling limitations

[@vanesaradayoung7099]

many therapists have emails and you could send a message to them and see if they can call or text you when it works for your schedule

[@michelleheegaard]

Thank you for sharing that you prefer a female therapist... I always felt kind of bad only seeking out female therapists, but it's true. I simply feel more comfortable with a woman even though a male therapist might be very or even more competent.

[@sarakjeldsen769]

These tips are gold! Thank you, Kati. ❤

[@brittanywilcox7377]

Great video Kati! I learned during the pandemic that doing virtual sessions or phone sessions is a must for me

[@bdmenne]

Wow perfect timing! Metaphysically speaking had a dream thismorning

[@Lillith8810]

I didn't know you could get a therapy consultation. No one has ever mentioned it to me. Appreciate this video, thank you Kati ❤

[@newtuber4freedom43]

This info is great for both newbies and folks possibly not satisfied or looking to get back into a therapy, people who have moved may find this helpful too!! ☮️💟☮️💟☮️💟

[@PeteysPonderings1220]

Thanks for the info katie. Being relatively poor, low mobility and limited travel ability is a tough mix to find assistance. I also feel like I would scare many therapists off when I do tell them what's going on. These factors combine to create a difficult path ahead..... Appreciate your effort

[@TidewaterC]

I miss my therapist that I had for years until recently. She moved on to a different career path and I feel like I have lost a good friend. The idea of going to see a new therapist and build a trust with them is daunting for me because of my social anxiety. In some way I feel like I allowed myself to become a bit too attached. New rule for next time is to be more emotionally prepared for the possibility of change.

[@whereisyourhumanity7557]

ABSOLUTELY. I like to challenge my therapist a bit at first. "how do I know when I'm done? How many sessions do you think it will take me? What are the markers or indicators that we look for, how do we measure these accomplishments? Do you give a discount after several sessions, or a cash discount? Sometimes Narcs choose to become therapists. It's best to knock a few scales off of them, then toss them out of the ring RIGHT AWAY.

[@TireSlayer55]

yes, great idea starting out therapy with an adversarial attitude towards the provider 😂🤦‍♂️

[@debbierya5668]

Hi from Perth Western Australia, I really appreciate your videos thanks 🙂

[@finleyandfriends8332]

I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder but I just learned this past year what bpd is and I show many signs. Today I used my journal ❤ to stay on track and share what I wanted and learned about myself my psychiatrist said she’s proud bc I’m more vocal about myself. I feel gd about it ❤

[@ilovefountainpens2938]

Your videos are always so helpful. Thank you!

[@Katimorton]

Aww yay!! Happy to help :) xoxo

[@trappart9209]

Thank you, Kati 😊

[@ahmed2527]

Thank you Kati ma'am.

[@alyssalitwiller7885]

Not me literally going back to therapy soon and not realizing I needed this video lol

[@thecatsbackyard4833]

Shame on the KZbin algorithm for not recommending more of your videos to me lately.

[@yamanaljamal9925]

Thanks sister 💓

[@nikkimckay860]

Kati Morton. thank you for sharing this new video it was very interesting and very helpful I'm lucky enough not to have to pay for therapy ❤❤

[@iPLAYtheSTATION]

Thank you for your videos Kati, they are very informative and helpful. I am actually seeing a therapist next week, so this video popped up at the right time. I am nervous about my first appointment, and it doesn't help that I tend to be a catastrophizer and overthinker (which are issues I also want to work on), but I'm trying my best to keep a clear head in regards to therapy.

[@Katimorton]

I am so glad you are reaching out and seeing someone!!! Just take it one thing at a time and know that you just have to show up and be as honest as you can. xoxo

[@bdmenne]

Thankyon, Kati!

[@Katimorton]

You are so welcome Bryan :) xoxo

[@eloisemarie5219]

Really helpful

[@trinaq]

Thanks for the advice, Kati, it's very helpful, and I'll definitely use it when researching therapists.

[@Katimorton]

Of course!! So glad it was helpful :) xox

[@-nutella]

wow you really are everywhere

[@chrisslate1506]

I love therapists and their car analogies for emotions. 👍

[@genericname9024]

Whoa, this came at the perfect time. I've been seeing the same text-based therapist for a few months now, but it doesn't feel like we're getting anywhere. I didn't want to say anything about it though in case it came off rude...

[@kattekaren]

Good timing! I've just gotten my first appointment in the end of June. But I'd like to say, that beign picky about a therapist (I know it's not being picky, but stay with me) is only really an option, if you live in a big city. I'm in a pretty rural area and have maybe 5 therapists to choose from, if I want to use the referral from my doctor, which gets me a discount. So if I had too many demands of my therapist, I most likely wouldn't get to see one at all. And betterhelp isn't a help here, because it's actually way more expensive, than if you get a referral from your doctor (where I am, anyway). But the therapist I'm seeing comes highly recommended by people around me, so I'm excited to meet her. And her fees are reasonable.

[@colleend80]

FIRST, THANK YOU SO MUCH KATI 💌 I am frustrated with my psychologist, but after seeing many psychologists in the past, I've lost hope for mental support. My psychologist do not offer any help in between sessions, which is also disappointing. It is probably my problem that I am still seeing him despite my disappointment.

[@warrenbradford2597]

I don't know if I would have benefited if I have known these things when I first started therapy and counseling. However, I will do these things from here on out to make the most out of them and avoid future regrets from not knowing them sooner.

[@vanesaradayoung7099]

I also need to add that now most therapists can do online only if you need it but you need to ask if they offer that and you need to make sure you have good internet speed to support it

[@EclipseCrasher]

Budget my ole nemesis lol. Kicks me when I'm down all the time. I'm hoping once the work season goes back in full swing I'll be able to manage enough hours to be able to afford trying to get into therapy. I know I could use it. Might also need to get tested for Innattentive ADHD to see if that's the cause of my Dysthymia like symptoms. 😅

[@richardcarter5314]

V. good. I would like to add that if someone is in desperate need for help, and this does not mean suicidal, the less well equipped emotionally one is to chose a "good" therapist. A "Catch 22" situation. There is no easy way around this, the answer is to keep trying. Good luck.

[@edbrown5956]

Many local therapist wouldn't offer phone conversations first. So to people reading this not all will offer that. That doesn't mean they are less of a fit just because of that. I had to take the risk in a few and fork over the initial session. It paid off though. My favorite T didn't offer phone sessions and we click well.

[@boardingurban]

Who needs physical therapy when we have you? We thank you for what you're doing.

[@Jikrin]

Physical therapy is normally for people who are injured and are trying to be rehabilitated. I think I know what you mean though.

[@Katimorton]

You are so welcome :) But nothing replaces the benefits of seeing someone in person :) xoxo

[@aaronline5889]

​@@Katimorton even telehealth?

[@edbrown5956]

@@aaronline5889 she means she isn't a replacement for an individual personalized therapist. You don't need to be in person specifically.

[@RosheenQuynh]

Perfect timing as I'm fighting between ghosting my current therapist who is not a good fit for me so I can quietly move onto someone else because I hate confrontation and just attempt to explain to her why I need to move on... I know what the right thing to do is but between my inner turmoil and my mom also being not a fan of her (and wanting me to ghost her), I'm just at a loss 😭

[@TireSlayer55]

your mom sounds like a bad influence. well adjusted adults don't ghost people. if that's where you're at right now then it's fine, but being able to communicate your needs clearly like a grown up human should be a goal...

[@RosheenQuynh]

​@TireSlayer55 I've gotten a new person since then and while I understand what you're saying, it had to be done. I could not properly communicate how I felt, and I'm grateful my mom motivated me to do this in the end. I never would've been able to enjoy my new therapist otherwise.

[@AmeliaOak]

Okay but what if you have anxiety about talking on the phone? Then a phone consultation might be pretty hard...

[@ninamarkovic4853]

Exactly i can't do phones or computers

[@Pault3788]

It always makes me feel worse if I'm being honest

[@thatswhatisaidCA]

I'm 59, and screaming inside. It comes and goes, and stays for months at a time. I mask well, but I've been withdrawing from activities. Have been wanting to do certain things I like to research (focus and procrastinate), I am introverted, very professional, very friendly outwardly. I honestly want to do certain things but somehow I "can't" (what is THAT?). I'm so tired trying to figure myself out; any ideas? I've consider adhd and autism and looking for a counsellor in my area for a few years now (procrastination again). I am keeping my smiling/polite/helpful/weird head above water and getting tired. Any thoughts appreciated. Thanks, Kati; great content.

[@aspidoscelis]

For no. 5 - That part is hard for me because, in part, I don't have any frame of reference... like describing the noises your car makes, but you've never heard another car. No idea what is or isn't unusual, and not enough time to go through everything.

[@MrsLadyLiberty]

I finally found a treatment that works for me, ketamine therapy. But it's too late expensive, I can't afford it. In CO it's covered by medicaid but I had to move states and haven't been able to find treatment I can afford. It's almost impossible to find a therapist thats a good fit when you have Medicaid. It'll take months to get into see a therapist and if they're not a match,then you'll be waiting months more. I've been trying to get help for decades but the prohibitive measures to being poor go beyond cost. Maybe if I had had steady, reliable, effective, uninterrupted mental health care I wouldn't have ended up homeless.

[@GK-qc5ry]

Should I ever go to a therapist with self diagnosed issues or observations thinking it short cuts things or should I let them make the diagnosis or learn themselves? I've learnt a bunch of stuff on this channel and would want to discuss this with them but not sure if they would feel like I'm being an armchair expert.

[@CharmSchool_Reject]

Therapist meeting you 'where you're at'

[@BlueHeron654]

They have to 1. Be interactive 2. Like working with me 3. Do long term therapy 4. Be patient 5. Not do "stare-apy" 6. Handle dissociation

[@diverstalent]

💜

[@indridcold8433]

I found therapy made things worse, past the first two therapists. The third to fifth just made things worse and far more stressful. I do not associate with humans. Thus, a therapist is counter intuitive for me. I do not know how the first and second therapist helped so much when the last three were so poor. There needs to be a healing for people that do not bond with humans.

[@angelchornsbay3860]

My question is… how do you go about receiving the therapy you need after going through 7 therapists before, and actually liking your therapist/clicking with them, and now she’s leaving to a facility where you had 3 that weren’t ever able to give you the care you needed (because the system sucks). This facility was never able to give me the time in therapy I have now. I don’t want to start the process over again, this will make my 9th.

[@chrismyers6022]

Good Girl Roxi

[@shariecebrewster5962]

Need help and help as well

[@Laurenlp]

I am starting my healing journey from what I think is narcissistic abuse from my mother but I have a question. Can my mother be a narcissist but also show emotional incest towards me? Thank you for your videos!

[@whereisyourhumanity7557]

Therapists are the same people that you and I went to school with. They aren't all winners. Choose carefully.

[@nikkimckay860]

Kati Morton. wish I was able to focus and connect property with my therapist it's honestly difficult because I lose interest and focus plus my connection with her so easily my therapist was off sick from therapy for 3 weeks and when it came down to her feeling better and returned to office I couldn't go though with my continued therapy session I felt honestly terrible about it I am having trouble getting my focus and connection back working with her and I only have a couple of CBT therapy session s left her time off sadly interrupted the process for me and I'm struggling to not keep cancelling my sessions 😢your video was so helpful I am just never completely ready for therapy and it's my second time doing therapy I'd like to share I think it's because my therapist only does video call therapy session s and not face to face maybe why I just can't get through the therapy prosses iv always ended up coming out of therapy the same way I went in what doesn't help much love to you Kati ❤❤❤

[@edbrown5956]

Personally I only will do person to person it feels so much more healing to have someone across from you when you are at your most vulnerable. I've also heard from Dr. Kirk Honda something about how time can negatively effect bonds between 2 people. You don't need to have everything laid out before you start therapy just some ideas of what you want to improve. Insight helps too😁

[@nikkimckay860]

@@edbrown5956 nice to meet you and thank you for your helpful comment and sharing I prefer Face to Face therapy too but never go it I was only offered video call therapy session s

[@kylekeen3497]

I wish that you were my therapist.

[@thelifeofjas566]

hey kati! long time subscriber here ☺️ my last session is coming up with my DBT therapist that i’ve worked with for the last 15 months! i’m incredibly anxious and upset about finishing, i’m really close with her! any tips for coping with the end of therapy itself and saying goodbye to her?

[@fiendeceuninck8705]

Maybe you can try and talk about that with your therapist? I've had such feeling about a teacher I had to leave behind and it was really difficult for me (it was also very inexpected for me); I hope you can find a better way to say goodbye

[@16Vagabond]

How do I tell them what I feel all the time when I feel apathy constantly. I just feel nothing.

[@j_freed]

I'd many family loss traumas before my later fostering & adoption, and my 'therapist' never discussed my pre-adoption history, as if that were all so irrelevant and not worth working past. Pretty ineffective, given the problems I'd like to solve.

[@shariecebrewster5962]

100 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯

[@sierrabancroft4287]

Is emdr able to be done virtually?

[@fn-2187bb8]

Hi Sierra, I don't know if emdr can be done remotely, but Brainspotting [similar to emdr, a newer technique] can, as long as the clinician has been trained on how to do it remotely via zoom. So it's worth looking into. Hope that helps, at least gives you a little bit to go on. ❤

[@markuswunsch]

I sort of did that and wrote down a 217 page long anamnesis...

[@philn5703]

Usually it quickly turns to antidressants and benzodiazepines. Please do your own research before starting either one. Especially benzodiazepines.

[@finleyandfriends8332]

I know my therapist style is a caring mom type lol 😂

[@berniculus]

What do you do if you fall in love with a youtube therapist.

[@afifaabid]

What is meant by "not to be PC "?

[@kathystein411]

PC= politically correct

[@SAM-dm5qg]

👀 🤔

[@shariecebrewster5962]

Don't know how to ask for help

[@ExtraordinaryMachine333]

You have blown my mind that there are free consultations! I had been putting off getting therapy again imagining the cost of all the "speed dating" of trying to find a good fit, but that takes some of my reluctance away. Thank you for that. Side note, "political correctness" just means respect and respecting other people. It was co-opted by right wing politicans to try to make respecting other people's differences seem radical, ridiculous, and unnecessary. So saying "you don't have to be politically correct" is playing into that (I'm sure unintentionally on your part). Just a small issue in an otherwise fantastic video. Thanks again!

[@edbrown5956]

Not all offer free 15 min session be advised. Only maybe 20% locally do.

[@alicewonder6500]

Ok but…they won’t give me any answers I wanna know exactly what’s goin on and they won’t tell me and I wanna know.

[@Katimorton]

What answers are you looking for?? Like knowing what therapy is about or how it works? xoxo

[@lolawallace8390]

Oh, I have fallen into this trap! Angrily challenged my then therapist why can't you just tell me answers...she told me its was her job to give tools, practice using them. Her answers for me would not work for me, only I have my answers. Only you have yours, and you cannot get away from yourself. Do the work, find answer within, then process to change what bothers you!

[@andi.grke00]

Glad to live in germany, insurance covers therapy 100% and every citizen here has health insurance. If you can't cover health insurance the government will pay for you. I'm in therapy for 5 years now with two inpatient stays and I paid 0$.

[@theshih-tzudad4068]

That's funny, I ask my dogs if they need to Pee Pee Poo Poo

[@adamloepker8057]

Therapy budget is such a crock... I spend 400 a month on my insurance premium and most Psychologist are "out of network" or don't accept insurance. So that means everything through them is full price, but it's "worth it" right? How do they not realize that people prioritize there Healthcare budget based around insurance? So now we have the poorest of the poor unable to afford mental health care to even start to know how to improve their symptoms, and let me tell you it feels great... Hurray for a for-profit Health care industry we get forced on us....

[@adamloepker8057]

The fact that any therapist would accept a credit card instead of work with their patients with either a sliding scale or referral or financial aid makes it quite apparent they have an attitude that is part of the problem too...

[@RJones-tn5vg]

My therapist is the same age, race and gender as I am. We even have the same hair color. I didn't set out looking for that, but I am comfortable talking to her.

[@do9138]

What a joke. I can't even find ANY therapist within the area I'm comfortable driving in. I live in Vegas. I'm bipolar, and I cant' even see a doctor -- just a nurse practitioner. "Healthcare" of any kind is a joke in Vegas, but mental "healthcare" is the worst. There aren't even psych wards in hospitals to check into.

[@indridcold8433]

Therapy, never again! It was horrible and made things worse!

[@Katimorton]

I am so sorry you had such a bad experience.. just like any job, there are people who are good at them, and people who aren't :( xoxo

[@ExtraordinaryMachine333]

:( I'm so sorry you had that experience. Sometimes we can be in the wrong place for it, but it sounds like you just had a terrible therapist. I hope you try again if you need therapy, some therapists are fantastic. ::hugs::

[@ChantelleF]

😍😍🍓🍉

[@user-kl9sr4ry6s]

I identify as vaxxinated.

[@DenkyManner]

Acid.

[@_Darkhitect_]

You have pretty eyes. Lol honey

[@myportal8512]

The mental health "community" is a racket.

[@LEYLANDGAMER]

I live in the UK. I am currently at a psychosexual service called SHARE which was a GP referral and has a maximum of 8 sessions, all completely free. I am bad at not writing symptoms down but if I replay a scenario in my head or repeat sentences that I don’t like, I tend to let my body nerves jump to tell me that the statement is not true, when I watch tv my eyes can get dead sweaty, more when watching with my mum. I usually tend to feel more upset when I am asleep in bed at nighttime or listening to emotional songs I enjoy. If I’m in positions or trying things I wouldn’t normally do, my body can feel like it will pass out. My ideal therapist would be a younger woman (around 25-35) with a very squeaky/light voice as I feel more emotionally engaged with them, with no facial disability. The therapist and co-therapist I have at share are brilliant (therapist I think is ideal and co-therapist is a little bit older and Irish but I think she is easy to communicate with) and in the first session, I felt I knew where I stood with boundaries but they showed empathy at the same time. My first session was on 22nd Feb and my next appointment was meant to be on 29th March but I had to cancel due to having covid for the third time. I was very angry as I had already waited 5 weeks for the next appointment and now I’m having to wait even longer. Luckily, it’s 19th April so a couple of weeks away and I tested negative yesterday but just feels like a painful slog which is draining me but I can easily keep myself occupied. I also prefer face to face because I think it’s more engaging. Contingency plans are also beneficial, the person on reception didn’t ask about me having a phone appointment instead but I’m sure that missed session can be made up for another time. Overall, great first start, just wanting to be back

[@j0.ZEF-Who]

therapy only works if your being honest to your Therapist

[@bdmenne]

Wow perfect timing! Metaphysically speaking had a dream thismorning

[@bdmenne]

Dream was about connecting with some one that I trusted. Woke upknowing who resembled that same therapeutic relationship and saw your aptly themed video, Kati! Metaphysical Invisible connected Thread appeared before my eyes!!! Namaste

[@bdmenne]

Btw, the therapist a is a man that feels like wiser older family. So cool!