Watch This BEFORE You Start Therapy

Feeling anxious about starting therapy? Don't worry, you're not alone! This video is your ultimate guide to preparing for your first appointment and setting yourself up for success. Whether you're new to therapy or looking for therapy tips, or how to find a therapist or psychologist - this video I will talk you through the things to do before you start therapy. Also, I hear a lot that therapy or psychologists don't work for people, it is likely you may not have the right therapist or psychologist, or your essentially approaching it wrong. Were there any things you did wrong in your therapy journey? Anything that you learned that would be helpful for our viewers? Leave your feedback or tips in the comments!
More related videos:
4 things NOT to say to your therapist: • 4 Things NOT to Say to...
5 signs you need therapy: • 5 Signs that You Need ...
Download Kati Morton's "Breaking the Pattern: A blueprint for a better year" workshop for just $10 and get started on achieving your goals today! katimorton.com/the-shop
Here's what you'll learn:
• Misconceptions about therapists: Not all therapists are created equal! Learn what matters most, beyond fancy degrees, and discover the importance of the "therapeutic alliance."
• Finding the right fit: Skip the guesswork! Uncover powerful strategies for choosing the perfect therapist, including free consultations and asking the right questions.
• Setting goals and expectations: Therapy isn't a magic fix, but it can be life-changing. Understand what to expect and how to set realistic goals for your journey.
• Preparing for your first session: Get organized! Create a list of symptoms, practice self-honesty, and discover tools to make the most of your time with your therapist.
• Building healthy habits: Therapy is more than just sessions. Learn how to put your newfound skills into practice and create lasting change in your life.
Subscribe for more mental health tips and support!
Links:
Kati Morton's website: katimorton.com/
More about going to Therapy: • Therapy Advice
Start your journey towards mental well-being today! Share this video with someone who might need it, and leave a comment below with your best tip for preparing for therapy.
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[@MsLaurithaa]

This video could not have come at a better timing. I am starting a new therapy and just had the first appointment last week. I lied in the first session, because I was afraid she would not take me on as a patient if I told her the whole truth. Now I am all in my head about how to tell her that I lied and just hoping she will give me another chance. Your words encouraged me! Thanks Kati! I hope you have a great start to your year :)

[@CuteCatsofIstanbul]

I've had therapy during a very dark period of my life, it was for free so thankfully money = THE BIGGEST stressor was out of the way, but even though I did feel challenged, my homework taught me a lot, the chats saw me different sides to the issue, the effects were not long lasting. What truly helped was finding a goal in life. A goal that you love being a part of. For me, it is animals. I moved back to Istanbul after a very serious suicide attempt, I remember waking up at 3am on a stormy cold night feeling really low, I went to the living room and saw this stray mama cat bring her kittens to our garden. She and her kittens were soaked ... I put a box out with some towels, she put the kittens in there. I gave her some food and watched them fall asleep. It was like a knock on my head 'forget about your demons, look at these gorgeous beings and help those in need'. For me it is stray cats, for you maybe it is working with children or in a soup kitchen or picking up garbage on a beach or any other volunteer group. Doing something good for others is the best therapy. And walking and dancing and music ... and good wholesome food!❤

[@SarafinaSummers]

Yep. If I don't have an animal to care for, I shut down to the point of stopping my epilepsy meds.

[@amberallen4181]

I do love animals and music my problem is too many people need me. My special needs son, my boss, my husband. I'm just burnt out and no one is taking off the load.

[@CuteCatsofIstanbul]

@@amberallen4181 You created your son so he is your responsibility for life, however definitely have a serious chat with your husband, tell him you need help. Then with your boss - we need to let people know that things are too much, how it affects our lives, only when they hear, will they know and hopefully help. All the best.

[@Eco_Hiko]

My tip for therapy is to journal the day of or the day after therapy. I'm a visual person so I went out and bought a new notebook specifically for the task along with matching pens and other stationery to really engage my brain. That journal is where all my homework goes, my reflections on my relationship with the therapist, goals and entries about the EMDR sessions. It helps me not forget (which is part of my problem), grounds me before session when I recap the previous week whilst in the waiting room and helps me get the most out of each session. It's been really helpful and has given me space to access whether or not the therapist is working for me.

[@janetslater129]

As someone who is in-between therapists right now through an agency, this served as a good reminder. I would also throw in questions like, "How long have you been with X agency?" "Are you planning on staying with X agency for the next X (amount of time)?" In terms of insurance, I would also ask the agency or office if the therapist is already "on board" with your insurance, or what the policy for payment is if the therapist isn't on board with the insurance yet. I know that I personally wanted a therapist that is already "in the clear" with my insurance even before starting my first session, just in case something goes awry. I am also one that will be very open with a therapist from the get-go. It's basically my way of "testing" them to see if we will be a good fit. I need to see and hear their reaction to me telling them about my trauma, self-harm urges, suicidality, and hospitalization afterwards. If they react in a way that's not comforting to me, then I know we're not going to be a good fit.

[@Jkim-rt5tf]

As a Certified Peer Support Specialist, which is someone with a lived experience with mental health issues and has been trained to help others, I’ve had my peers say they’d rather talk to me, because I get it, I’ve been there. What I have learned through my experience of severe trauma, is that the “right” therapist, and my willingness to let myself feel the pain, instead of running from it, is that - There is not a way out, but there is a way through! I like these videos Kati!

[@SarafinaSummers]

I so want to do your job, but here in Missouri, you have to be able to drive to be a CPSS.

[@Jkim-rt5tf]

There always a way! You can do it! Best Wishes😊

[@justanotherjessica]

I watched this video even though I've been seeing my therapist for several years and it was very interesting and eye opening. A lot of our sessions do end up feeling like we're just friends catching up BUT I've also seen some major improvement in my life. I cut out some toxic people (including going no contact with my father) and I don't think I ever would have had the courage to do that without therapy. It wasn't even something that my therapist suggested, it was just something I decided to do after talking about the people to my therapist. It was a slow realization over several months that my life would be way better without these toxic people in my life. I think my people pleasing actually works in my favor in this instance because I really want my therapist to be proud of me so I am way more likely to do things that are outside my comfort zone and actually beneficial for me so that I can tell my therapist about it haha.

[@Katimorton]

Thank you so much for sharing!! And I am so glad that you have been able to make some positive changes in your life and cut out those toxic people :) xoxo

[@amyjones8613]

I felt that when you said " not sick enough for therapy " I also feel like I can't make time commitments since I don't drive and work every weekday. Their hours end so early and I can't ask off

[@qiae]

Having gone through my life consistently getting incredibly lucky with the healthcare providers in my life, it really hit me when I wound up with a therapist who wasn't a good fit. I cannot overstate how important that point is, because having the right dynamic can be the difference between healing and harming.

[@HeadCanonGames]

What a great video. I'm a few years into therapy with my therapist and I've tried to mention some of these points to other people wanting to "get better." It's very validating to hear you saying the therapy is hard work and that not every therapist will be the right one. Those are things my ex-wife heavily disagreed with me about, and both were very much deal breakers for me when it came down to it. I wanted to put the work in. She didn't.

[@BeautifullyDifferentMinds]

This is really good advice and I wish I had heard this before I started therapy back in 2013. I definitely learned a lot through the process.

[@celestialcucumber4684]

You and that shirt are absolutely everything. ❤️

[@el-jay_]

Thank You Kati. ❤

[@patrickkelly4400]

wow this lady is super helpful and very relatable

[@janettealcantara2845]

Kati you look great today!!

[@SamanthaBCope]

I don't know if you saw my comment on a different video yesterday but this definitely answered the questions I had thank you so much. Also I wish you were my therapist your videos are so very helpful thank you

[@danielfitzgerald2561]

Your videos keep popping up on my feed at times when I need to see them. I've been watching your content for about 10 years. Thank you

[@Rathzoon]

Thank you for everything you post and do! Awesome top!

[@Katimorton]

Glad you like them!

[@RunOs3]

You are the best.

[@l.l.l8606]

Helpful video. Thank you

[@Katimorton]

Glad it was helpful!

[@cristinafrick9773]

My therapist has been an absolute godsend for me- God please bless her and all of you😀😀😀

[@Katimorton]

Already in therapy? 4 things NOT to say to your therapist: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fmiUZaqkhtNlq9k

[@Laternite]

@katimorton Stunning top, really suits you.

[@user-wz5ir9jl8q]

Amazing insight! So grateful!

[@Katimorton]

Yay! So glad it was helpful :) xoxo

[@user-wz5ir9jl8q]

@@Katimorton Thanks for the reply, Kati! I'm new at your channel. I would like to find out how you can stop repetitive actions that disrupt your life success. Like bing watching KZbin videos when you should be sleeping before a hard day. Things like that. Lack of willpower, I guess. What can be done to build willpower after a lifetime of losing battle with procrastination and setback.

[@stefaniegoodwin5812]

I had this one counselor with the vet center and she has no clue how much she helped me understand myself better. I have been looking for someone like her.. but I never do and that's one thing i hate with the va because I've bad so many amazing ones but their workloads are so much and it can be a lot but she was amazing.

[@EmilysScrollmate]

Such a cool shirt and that look is cool on you Kati.

[@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988]

Thank you very much! Gonna surely watch that!

[@Katimorton]

Hope you enjoy it!

[@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988]

@@Katimorton Of course Kati! Thanks for the video! This time, I'm gonna be more open with whoever I would meet for the therapy sessions.

[@nathaliej2749]

Useful.

[@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988]

Can you also make a video about what to do if I feel like I wanna revenge on a past therapist or a psychiatrist? And how?

[@sim1els]

Wow!! This video is Empowering and has already given me some Confidence -- Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Kati, for sharing and for your honesty!!🙌👏🏼❤️🤗

[@digitalreporter]

0:00 Intro 0:30 Misconception 3:01 Questions 6:38 Goals 4:44 Symptoms 8:03 Realistic Expectations 10:15 Consistency Hones 11:13 Honesty

[@AndreasVlurchVader]

so you gonna be a queen for something!

[@indridcold8433]

What Kati says is true! I can not connect with anybody. I do not think I will be returning to mental therapy. It assumes I am used to speaking to people. I go weeks without speaking to anybody. Therapy is unnatural for me. It was a rather frightening experience.

[@kdkay4039]

I set up “interviews” with any and all prospective medical specialists. Here’s my view, I’m hiring/building a highly trained team to help me be the best version of me. I need to ensure I’m surrounding myself with the team that serves MY very specific needs. I’ve NEVET been told no, when I’ve asked for these appointments.

[@WWS322]

KZbin really likes you, you have been on my recommended many many times and I passed you by. I saw you on Dr Phil but you didn't have a chance to speak. I recently got a new therapist and I have been in the system for many years so I could pass up most of this content in this video except that I should feel challenged by the therapist. I hate being challenged, like what do you mean by this word you use? But then I am willing to work hard with a therapist, as you mentioned.

[@lollollollolololollo]

Love your shirt

[@TobZeN666]

It's really hard to get a therapist at all in Germany. Calling 3-5 times before being called back e.g.

[@claudiaschneider5744]

Just forget most of those "therapist or coaches" over here in Germany.

[@Cowface]

My therapist was a victim of her own success, from a client retention perspective. I had a therapeutic goal, I accomplished that goal, and ran out of things to talk about. Will still see her but not sure for how long. Will talk to her about it before I just quit tho. She even taught me how to self soothe. Now my work is in the real world, getting in the reps implementing what I’ve learned. It’s a very exciting time for me.

[@SarafinaSummers]

I'm so proud of you for being about to graduate!

[@Jojomojo66]

3:50 so helpful, thank you! I live in a very religious town, and they dont take kindly to people who aren't religious. Ive never thought of just asking the therapists if they pray or talk about religion during therapy. I haven't found a therapist yet but your videos and your book have helped me so much! So grateful for you ❤

[@markwalty9012]

I second that 😊

[@Katimorton]

Of course!! So glad I could help & that you liked my book :) xoxo

[@clairewillow6475]

My therapy is through the public health system in my province. So I get who I get and have no say in it 😅

[@flowerchild89]

I really love your shirt!! It's gorgeous.. Thank you for sharing this video. I've had a difficult time finding a trauma therapist who also understands narcissism.

[@Katimorton]

Thanks for sharing!! :)

[@christinecamley]

My psychologist told me she didn’t want to hear, in session, about the issue I wanted to discuss (an issue that happened with her) and she told me to write down my thoughts in a journal and IF she felt like it she “might” read what I wrote. Talk about being fucked up. Then she refused to talk about how I felt about that. I tried for 5 years to work that out and then she said she couldn’t remember what she said. Insane. I think it made me go severely backwards.

[@hassegawamkt]

Wtf

[@christinecamley]

@@hassegawamkt This is how I feel. It wrecked me - the whole therapy and the fortune I paid out for this 'therapy' which is the craziest experience I have ever had.

[@hassegawamkt]

I see my psycho analyst as a great friends and I literally tell him everything that comes to mind. He doesnt say much at all, which I like. Ive been on psycho analysis for 1 year and a half and I abolutely LOVE IT. Ive made a lot of progress, especially with my self steem! Good luck on your jouney :) @@christinecamley

[@hassegawamkt]

@@christinecamley apparently my reply didn't go through... I'm sorry for ya! I had a massive depression/anxiety disorder 10 years ago after living in Australia and moving back to Brazil... I took me 2 years and a half to recover. Now I'm on psycho analysis. Have been on it for one year and a half. My analyst doesn't say much at all but I love it! It's definitely one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever had. My self esteem has improved, I've covered childhood trauma... Ive bee getting to know myself and even tho my analyst doesn't say much at all, I feel like he's a good friend that I have but don't know much about. There's definitely good professionals out there maybe you should try someone else.. best of luck!!

[@brandonleesantana4500]

Should of seen this before i i went to my first time to therapist cause i never been to one before

[@VintageRestorationsAustralia]

Big one for me is I trust my psych and feel safe. Lovely dress.

[@Katimorton]

Yes!! That's so important!! And thank you :) xoxo

[@sunflowerfields4409]

This may sound weird but my last therapist seemed like they didn't have enough experience. I was in therapy for years to work through some major issues. After several years, I needed some help with something completely different so I called my therapist only to find she wasn't seeing patients anymore, but rather working as a manager at the hospital. She matched me with someone else who was nice enough but I felt like I needed someone who had worked with patients much longer. She was nice to talk to and offered a few different perspectives on coping skills I'd used (mostly that I mentioned myself) that were effective for this issue. In truth, she didn't help me much and the sessions were boring.

[@amberallen4181]

I had only one good therapist that I only saw twice then she retired, she told me the truth. I have a bad habit of not telling all my problems, only talking about what I can deal with. I need a therapist that asks questions and challenges me. That's the way my brain works.

[@tessab566]

Is therapy advisable for difficulties that only arise periodically? Such as with PMDD or the difficulties brought on by periods of stress or transition?

[@christina_cl]

Another good thing to ask (and I learned that the hard way) is how long they keep client records and whether they have any rules regarding how long a client takes to respond. I have ADHD so I tend to forget things and don't see time fly by. I was seeing a therapist through an agency that my work pays for and we had done 4 sessions already. Then things got too overwhelming at work so I went on "survival mode" and I forgot to answer the therapist for about 5 weeks. When I tried booking an appointment after that, they said "sorry, we delete people's files after 1 month of inaction so you'll have to restart the whole process". I was baffled that such a ridiculous rule could exist and was disappointed that my therapist had not warned me about it, despite knowing about my ADHD and struggles with time. All this to say: make sure you know what they are expecting of you.

[@TheNifster]

Above all you need to be honest. Going to see a therapists and telling him/her only what you think they need to hear is a waste of money. You don't have to dump your life story on them but you shouldn't hold things back because you're worried about appearances or what they might think. They've really heard everything.

[@KathyJessica]

I have been struggling with going/getting back to therapy. The first therapist I had seemed to me more like I was talking to a friend, I talked to her easily cried many times went to maybe 5 sessions if that! I than went to another therapist within that facility and just didnt feel it with her and now Im stuck. It took me along time to actually go than I ran into this, the first therapist I poured my heart out to her and Im just very apprehensive about doing this again idk if Im doing therapy the right way or is it the facility Im at?? Idk if it helped actually or was my medication change however I know I need to do something to get over my depression as I feel it coming back on badly??

[@lauraburystedmundsyoga8231]

I was with what I thought was a good therapist for over 3 years. Then she dumped me because she "wanted to cut down her hours". Not sure I'll ever be able to go through the finding a new therapist process again after that!! I did all the things you recommended before I chose her & obviously I have poor judgement of therapists. I wish I could find someone that gave a crap about me, beyond me being a paycheck for them!

[@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988]

Kati, why do the therapists in our country say to stop researching about my health condition? I often don't find it comfortable to do so. Sometimes, they make me really mad and angry. Currently, I'm not under any therapy but I may in the upcoming month. Edit:- I feel like they are violating my rights!

[@markwalty9012]

Don't understand

[@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988]

@@markwalty9012 What?

[@Katimorton]

I think that some mental health professionals worry that we will use info online to self diagnose, or focus too much of our time just reading and reading about our issue. But as long as we don't think it's an obsession or something we have to do every day I think it's healthy to seek to understand what it is we are diagnosed with. Just make sure to check your sources and ensure you're getting your information from reputable places :) xoxo

[@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988]

@@Katimorton Okay Kati. Thank you!

[@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988]

@@Katimorton Kati, actually that therapist made me angry in many ways. Telling lies about obsessions and delusions when explaining me about them, I was bullied way lesser than her even though I had no chance to tell how I was bullied, boasted herself telling about how much she knows about personality disorders(specifically cluster B ones), telling what I have is not Schizoaffective disorder as I have Schizophrenia without any personality disorder(I mean what? Why does she want me to understand lies like this even when DSM specifies it as a different mental illness?), telling my memory is perfectly fine and tests can prove it but not telling me the test so that I can't even test, completely denying my memory issues with that sarcasm? She also said that if I have delusions, don't worry about what would happen to me after death as I can't stop them. She instructs me to forget about going to hell or something even when I know it's an unimaginable pain? Now, I'm an atheist as I got to know my belief in God was the main thing behind my own persecution but she didn't make me free to tell what I believe are and God also told me not to and I chose my way. What should I do to make this never happen ever again? Cause, when I feel paranoid and wanna revenge from them, it's a very intense pain.

[@studionightshade]

I wish I could see you as a therapist... AuDHD product of CEN. Burned out.

[@javahirmalikova8751]

Hello, Kati❤ How to get over someone you love?

[@markwalty9012]

It's like trying to ask her to have you understand life.

[@javahirmalikova8751]

😐

[@BlairChasteen]

My current therapist did not want a lost of symptoms from me. She preferred to just ask X amount of questions the first three sessions even though I had a written down list of things I wanted to discuss

[@user-wz5ir9jl8q]

Power battle.

[@windermere2330]

@@user-wz5ir9jl8q What do you mean by that? Thank you.

[@ColorMeConfused29]

I spent two years with a therapist that was less than helpful. I tried again several years later and, only a few sessions in, I felt it was pointless. I want to try again, but I have not the time nor the resources to try to find a good "fit".

[@bigtimetorifan]

Tip on a tip-I would 100% find out if a therapist takes my insurance before having a consultation with them to see if I like them. Because I don’t know about you, but I don’t have 100 and something dollars to pay out of pocket to see the therapist. And if that’s the case for you meeting the therapist to see if you like them is not going tomatter if they don’t take your insurance.

[@alphadog3384]

Which would be worth the best investment (therapy or DBT skills) for borderline personality disorder? Had therapy many years ago.

[@Katimorton]

I honestly think DBT skills.. because they can really help us better manage the emotional dysregulation that comes along with DBT and effects our life and relationships. xoxo

[@alphadog3384]

Thanks for sharing - finding options can be difficult for many reasons, one door closes another opens.

[@kassgal7213]

Great video! The thing you wear is wow. You are stanning :)

[@kidwolfman]

Hi Kati. Just wanted to say I think you look very pretty today. Love that top 😊

[@Immaculate_he4rt]

I want Kati to wear this top in front of a matching background à la garden state

[@markwalty9012]

Totally understand where you're coming from she's so pretty she's scary. Mostly on the inside but also on the outside. Pretty Girl.

[@Katimorton]

hahah!! xoxo

[@danielsantos1028]

I didn't know there was a therapist who prays, but I was curious to know why this is a problem for you. do you want to talk about that? 🤔 I got here because I watched a video of yours about the pressure of getting married that you did 7 years ago 😀

[@georgianageorgie8719]

I love the way your hair looks in a ponytail. You look stunning!

[@gunlean7738]

Omg u look amazing ❤

[@hmdh_gh]

What a beautiful dress😍 It looks great on you

[@CreatiVastARTS]

My problem with therapy is that, it's not affordable... $100+ a session, and to do that every week, or multiple days in a week, How? Heck even simply once a month can be expensive for some. And not everyone has insurance. ugh...

[@S.G.W.Verbeek]

I pay for shadow therapy €200 per hour. I spare 4 months for that.😊

[@aalhard]

Growth is NEVER comfortable. I meant that as a positive...😊

[@Katimorton]

Agreed!! It is uncomfortable, but so positive :) xoxo

[@user-bn1zx8xy9p]

I have had very limited therapy. I feel like im just another number, that I can’t be fixed, and I deserve the misery.

[@Briannadawn20]

Not everyone with a piece of paper knows what they are doing. It says they went to class and took a test and passed. That all that means.

[@JohnPickup-CDHS-ze6qd]

Therapy doesn't work for me. I have a hard time talking to someone who's getting paid to listen to my problems Luckily I've always been incredibly introspective. I know exactly what my problems are and what to do about it. I think most people are capable of the same if they can stop feeling sorry for themsleves. Therapy often prolongs people's problems

[@BigIndianBindi-jy1cz]

i realized therapy bullshit for me because I need DBT and CBT, and actual psychotherapy. Not bullshit talk therapy. It doesn't help. But i can't afford real therapy.

[@cajones5956]

Please help! I need a Kati Morton in or near Huntsville, Alabama. I'm willing to travel to Bham or Nashville if I'm feeling an alliance!

[@BB-fo5mr]

Number 1 Don’t even waste your time starting “therapy”. Most psychologists and therapists are terrible at psychoanalysis, and they are total narcissists hiding in the perfect profession to conceal their own disorder. If you have major issues, those issues aren’t going away - therapy won’t do anything but drain your bank account. If you have small issues, you can likely google or youtube ways to cope or fix those issues. (Most) Therapists are disordered, dangerous people. Do the Research yourself, DIY therapy.

[@AndreasVlurchVader]

but now then.. post videos quite often and check yourself in the mirror too.. some ideas internal decor potted flowers maybe spcific bonsai tree like these decoration bushes.

[@hadestheblackcat420]

i am suicidal. I have this core belief that i am a lost cause, that I am unworthy and worthless to everyone. I don't believe people when they tell me I am worthy. I don't know how to change my thinking and I am scared because I feel so alone and I truly believe I am alone. I am scared that I will end my own life soon

[@mateusnanet]

If you want to feel no anxiety and have a great relationship with your sister, make sure to have a much positive mindset on every word you say. That is much useful when talking in public, because good empathy comes back to you. Have a great time.

[@summerbreeze3414]

Is it normal for a religious therapist to start encouraging you to join their religion?

[@mylene_b]

No, that's not normal. Change therapists.

[@MayasDream]

You are especially beautiful here!!

[@simeongalda5988]

holy macaroni that's some drip lady

[@Mr.Peetersen]

Buy a motercycle

[@songbirds3712]

I hope to gosh you would never wear that blouse to a therapy session!! Because reasons. 😜🙄

[@MH72077]

Therapy is useless.

[@alexandrugheorghe5610]

Go to therapy if you want a mental breakdown. Make sure you click with the therapist so the breakdown will be severe.

[@user-it8yh8tu7d]

What in the hell are you wearing?😂

[@MamaHarperr]

Leave Kati alone 😂😂 it's giving Grandma's curtains but looks good on her

[@O_Cum_O_Cum_Emmanuel]

Kati🤍