5 Tips On How To Handle Rejection | Courtney Ryan

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In this video, I go over how to handle rejection. Rejection is something most of us experience at some point in our lives, so understanding how to deal with it is incredibly important. Let me know in the comments below some tips you have or your experience with rejection!
Why Your Mindset Is RUINING Your Dating Life (AND HOW TO CHANGE IT!)
• Why Your Mindset Is RU...

[@GCP25]

Once I adopted the mindset of why would I want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me or doesn’t have that same level of interest as me, has allowed for a huge detachment from the rejection outcome. Ask yourself why should I care if they don’t? Ya know?

[@kevinp8108]

@GCP - the person rejected you so you could be set up to meet your real soul-mate later.

[@blackticalmayhem8461]

@@kevinp8108 we hope so lol. gotta be optimistic Right .

[@charlesdc1233]

@GCP absolutely ! That's what helped me to digest my break up in a better way...

[@reborn2j]

I’m dealing with that today. Thank you!

[@GCP25]

@@reborn2j Hey man keep your chin up and keep trying!

[@FahimusAlimus]

Being rejected is normal but being rejected every single time isn’t.

[@taras3702]

And that is where trouble starts. Rejection every single time over a long period of time is incredibly destructive. That is why men like myself took the decision to go MGTOW.

[@michaelchambers7691]

Mutual love and respect is very much all gone. Go outside to your neighbors. Rejection a century ago is very different to now. Speaking of gratitude, life today is very easy that people don't really need each other. A century ago, one who didn't work starved to death and also disease was common. People too were killed in the 2 great World Wars.

[@michaelchambers7691]

We have a big problem with children growing up in divorced and broken homes with no Bible and no prayer. Today's mentality is so much different than a century ago. People were more a community and cherished one another even a stranger.

[@aleksandar9571]

i'm currently going through this, it's tough to feel like you actually matter and i have no idea how to leave this disgusting circle... i basically can't feel like i matter anymore

[@danwison6058]

Time and time again. And they accumulate to the point where you just can't chance it one more time you have nothing left to deal with it.

[@michaelindo4605]

Rejection from a girl at a bar or a girl on Bumble isn't so bad because in all honesty she doesn't know you. Her first impression are your looks and you haven't gotten a chance to let your other qualities shine through. The most brutal rejection is by someone you know who only considers you a "friend". Because unlike the Bumble girl, she has gazed into your soul... and decided she still doesn't want to be with you.

[@x-man5056]

No. But that's not a fun time either. It's when you have a few years invested of love and sacrifice and she decides you stifle her.

[@morinoko0802]

Ugh, right in the feels - I'm going through this right now. 💔 Hope you recovered well from your experience, I hope to get over mine soon 🙏

[@timreeves8937]

I agree, the girl that string you along is way worse than just a girl rejecting you at a bar or online. Because that girl does not know you. Maybe your game was bad or said the wrong thing, or maybe she just has a type and you are not it. But the girl that texts you all the time and you maybe actually took out and she knows you, when she is not interested that hurts way more. Because she does know you and she is rejecting YOU. That is what girls do not get. It is way better to just say no upfront with guys.

[@none377]

My thoughts exactly! It's the person that really knows you and still rejects you is what hurts most.

[@imcoop]

agreed. I have learned the best thing to handle that I feel is to ignore, move on and cut off contact, Yes girls have the right to reject guys, but guys also have the right to reject the friendship as well. Should you not cut off contact, you might think you'll have a chance with her and you will be hurt when she starts seeing other guys

[@tommygunn6901]

It's taken a long time, but I've come to realize that rejection isn't personal, nor does it devalue you. It mainly means they weren't for you

[@CourtneyRyan]

Exactly!

[@drip369]

Surely so

[@tommygunn6901]

@@CourtneyRyan I used to struggle horrendously with it and earlier this year, a mentor of mine started to help me shift my way of thinking by naming off 5 things to be grateful for every week, as well as develop an abundance mindset

[@Armando316]

I was that way as well. I used to feel like I wasn’t a “real man” after every rejection. And I think most guys won’t admit they struggle with this.

[@ImaJunkyoBell]

Definitely. Most of the time rejection in the dating market is just someone who's a poor match for you understandably choosing not to date you. Or, rejection is someone who might be a good match for you letting you know they have better options. Rejection is rarely a judgment that you personally are low value.

[@Shreadington]

I'm okay with rejection. You'll got to fail your way to the top. Sometimes it takes 10 NOs to get a YES. Plus, when you do hit your goal it'll mean that much more.

[@x-man5056]

Amen brother. If it takes 10 no's to get a yes, you can get a yes easy. And in getting those no's you learn a lot about technique and improve your game. Just like anything else, practice improves your skill.

[@Shreadington]

@@x-man5056 the skill part is certainly true. Also it allowed me figure out what woman was best for me. What I didn't or did like. My wife and I don't have a lot of things in common but we have fun together, share the same beliefs, ambitious with professional careers, financially minded, and enjoy parenting. I'd have never found her if I wasn't persistent in turning rejection around to be positive in dating. It only stings for a second then onto the next thing.

[@x-man5056]

@@Shreadington That's what I tell a lot of the young guys who say "I'm not looking for sex, I want a LTR". I tell them to go meet and know/have sex with as many women as possible. That way when you meet "the one", you'll know what to do with her. If you keep engaging with women and having sex here and there, eventually you are going to bump into "the one" but in the meantime, you're having adventure and sex and gaining insight.

[@Shreadington]

@@x-man5056 right on. I add to that to tell young guys, and my son, to develop your value in the dating market. Value like education, physical appearance, style, financial independence, solid career. A higher value guy gets the top pick of women he attracts. Men have to earn/develop their value. A high value guy has higher freedom of choice.

[@x-man5056]

@@Shreadington Develop "savoir fare" is just as important. Charm helps with career also.

[@limitlesssynthesis1295]

I believe the most painful aspect of rejection is the self questing that happens afterwards. It can hurt even more especially if you allow yourself to fall into a spiral of thoughts that concludes that there’s something fundamentally wrong with you or that you aren’t worthy of love or acceptance. Its not the rejection that hurts exactly; it’s the pain of realizing or at least feeling like you’re not good enough as you are as a person. The feeling like you’re not an attractive man or women despite whatever your efforts may have been. Fundamentally, I believe it’s a fear of feeling like we’re unworthy of love or that our flaws whatever they may be are noticed by others and that makes us unworthy of love as well. It makes sense why this fear exists.

[@vwsandvettes3253]

"Focus on the things you do have instead of on those you don't have..." This I feel is the key to happiness.

[@rollaj0int]

I'm 27 and never been in a relationship and constantly got rejected or friendzoned and it used to get me very depressed but this year I finally decided to do something about it and just say fuck it. I joined the gym and have lost nearly 60 pounds, found new hobbies and I'm at a point where I'm happy being with myself. Maybe it just isn't my time yet but when she finally decides to come I'll be an even better man than I was. I don't need someone else to make me happy. I finally realized that after all these years.

[@davidbowman2035]

I learned this lesson far later than I should have

[@jdealz9983]

Now look at you. Your predicting the future and jacked!!

[@CliniK-DS]

Yeah smoke weed and become a monk.

[@seanpascoe3320]

Rejection got a lot easier to deal with when I started to have a particular HEALTHY perspective. Obviously rejection sucks, but I think to your point Courtney, using a positive mindset in order to grow for nobody but yourself is how I've been handling every rejection scenario.

[@seanpascoe3320]

And rejection now doesn't necessarily mean rejection later, and I think that is such an important thing to remember, for any scenario.

[@taras3702]

​@@seanpascoe3320Yes and no. If a woman rejected you before, she can and will do it again. No, best to treat rejection from women as final.

[@kristiannoel4866]

"It is possible to make no mistakes and still fail, that is life" Capt Jean-Luc Picard

[@taras3702]

Yup, especially when it comes to women.

[@watchmeplayit6730]

Totally agree! A lot of times we just make a big deal out of it and we overreact unnecessarily instead of learning to accept it. Not many people know about it but rejection is actually a big problem to Perfectionists.

[@FGj-xj7rd]

I have always respected a "no" and moved on.

[@testosteronemastery]

Same, I just think of it as God protecting me lol

[@ollysombrero8427]

Speaking from personal experience, if you're in the wrong mindset, once you get rejected all of your insecurities get a stamp of approval, so to speak. So for example if you're insecure about your looks your mind will go "it's because I'm ugly" and that leads to spiraling. So I guess thinking you can never know why they really rejected you is healthier. Sometimes the rejecter might not even know. Also for me rejection and unrequited love are different levels of the same obstacle course, the latter being the advanced/harder one. So maybe a video on that too one day? would be great? Courtney?

[@garmisra7841]

I'm not Courtney but I know a few things. I think unrequited Love is part of the same obstacles for guys because it comes from the same place that fear of rejection comes from, perhaps? If you met somebody, became acquaintances or friends with that person and then fell in Love with them, it's quite possible that you were merely hesitant or scared to make your move early and then ended up "catching feelings." I guess it's a tradeoff - you can risk rejection early, make your move and quite possibly get a 'no' (for whatever reason, possibly having nothing to do with you at all) and then have to deal with that pain and disappointment, or you can decide not to make your move, and then pine away for her. It's a choice I've made a few times, so I know where you're at. One thing to note, is that you are not inconveniencing someone by making your interest known early. Girls are picky (though they kinda have to be) but shoot your shot. The worst that can happen is a no. You can even calibrate when to show your interest in making a connection, knowing the best places, times, environments, circumstances. And if she says, "Let's just be friends", you can say, "OK Cool. But you should know that I expect my friends to help me move and loan me money." (With a cheeky grin and a wink) If she laughs at that it's a good sign that she is at least somewhat interested in actually being friends. If not, you've shown her and the world that you can roll with the punches.

[@blackticalmayhem8461]

thanks for this . well said. i recently got rejected from a girl at work lol. we were talking and i finally asked her out on a date..and she immediately said '' she just got out of a bad relationship '' and wasn't really looking to date anyone right now . i call BS . fast forward a couple months (yesterday) and she said ''she is currently talking to another guy'' SMH WOW. i felt like sh*t yesterday . and your words really mean a lot Thank You. Maybe it wasn;t going to work out anyway she is way younger than me 20 and i'm 35 LOL. Plus her hobbies are mainly smoking weed LOL sooo idk about that one because i dont do that stuff lol ..she was just really attractive to me lol. im really trying to just move on.

[@KH-fv3vq]

Sometimes ignorance is bliss

[@SeekCommunityPodcast]

This video popped up on my feed right after i was dealt a heavy blow of a rejection from a girl I was interested in. Thank you for the advice in helping us see the big picture, Courtney. Its not always about “you” and we are better off being with someone who wants us in the first place.

[@stevelegault7920]

When a woman rejects you it can leave you questioning everything about yourself, did I do or say something wrong wear the wrong cloths, pick the wrong place order the wrong meal, rejection is more than a sting, searching for something to kill that pain can leave you in a very dark place

[@blackticalmayhem8461]

true im trying not to think about it in my mind LOL....but of course when i lay down at night i think about her voice saying those words lol..SMH

[@blackticalmayhem8461]

is it weird to daydream about winning the lottery and bragging to the person who rejected you ? About winning LOL

[@thekingoffactnotfiction4813]

You typed all those subsidiary questions when we all know the primary question is: "Am I ugly or unattractive?"

[@ayoolax5988]

No it's not...use the pain as motivation

[@michaelchambers7691]

Actually that's a good thing. We better our own selves through self evaluation.

[@martincolunga6944]

Honestly this is so true probably she said no cause she wasn’t for you use it to keep growing I learned a lot today from this video 💯

[@CourtneyRyan]

❤️

[@RoadWarrior2006]

No, it's cos you weren't Rich.

[@testosteronemastery]

A girl tell you “no” is God watching out for you lol

[@isiglz]

Commas and periods go along way

[@byteblock1667]

I embrace rejection. Think about it. I'm 45 and I've never even had a girlfriend ever. Being alone is all I've ever known.

[@SportsYoutubex]

damn bro

[@michaelchambers7691]

You being 45, you are at an age now that more women will come up to you. I'm talking damaged goods here. I'm 46 now and see more women at my age range walking the streets, lots of them are on drugs.

[@oussama8015]

@@michaelchambers7691 yes man .. cause The older a man gets, the greater his value unlike women they lost their values as they get older

[@brianbald2146]

Courtney, I use to be DEVASTATED by rejection ! I would FEEL defeated ! But thanks to you I've changed my mindset and I can handle it much better !!! 🙂🙂🙂

[@shamimbakhshi7217]

"Close your heart to their desperation. Close your heart to their suffering. Do not allow yourself to feel for them, they will not feel for you." - Kratos, The God Of War

[@KrazyNigerian14]

Bro what? Lmao

[@johnv7968]

Damn. Never thought i'd see Kratos quoted on a Courtney Ryan video lmaooo

[@ayoolax5988]

I have never really played god of war but I love this qoute...I once fell in love with a girl because I felt her pain after a heartbreak ... it's odd something like this is coming from Kratos

[@CurtwoodBearsman]

@@johnv7968incredible combo 😂

[@quantumhorizon]

You can never be rejected for the questions you never ask. Thank you for coming to my TED talk. 😎😂

[@testosteronemastery]

“ “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” - Wayne Gretzky ” - Michael Scott

[@Hairysteed]

_"The worst she can say is no"_ - that's actually the second best thing she can say right after "yes".

[@Suspect333]

Women don't experience rejection

[@michaelsantangelo7997]

Oh come on, remember that one time in the 7th grade when one boy didn't like her? She feels our pain bro. Lol

[@Romy_880]

This was an extremely helpful and practical video. I am now taking up a challenge to get rejected at least 10 times. I'm down with 3 rejections already, 7 more to go! I am simultaneously going to keep a track of all the areas I lack in and where I need to challenge myself more. Fantastic tips, much gratitude to you.

[@russ9921]

If that’s your true photo and the rest looks just as good, believe me, you won’t get many more rejections. 😘 from England.

[@anthonyharris94]

Good luck on your journey!

[@andrebaxter4023]

Good video Courtney. 100% agreed on how taking action equals growth, rejection or not. Fear in most cases stands for Fake Expectations Appearing Real.

[@ericv5435]

Or like the papa roach song, Face Everything And Rise.

[@andrebaxter4023]

@@ericv5435 , facts.

[@ssjgoku211]

Thank you Courtney for your advices. Me and friend are not friends anymore because I told her how I felt. I was struggling on moving on because my friendship with her was important to me. I decided just to focus on myself and just move on. Staying in the past isn't healthy and truthfully is not living at all, is just sitting while time pass by

[@mr.e1026]

I don't want this to sound like it's a refutation on what Courtney is saying, but as an addendum or expansion upon what she has said. 1. Rejection stings. That can be true. Why doesn't it sting Mr. E, though? Because I didn't just randomly ask a woman on a date. I made it something I thought out and considered a few elements on in advance. The most important one is, "Am I willing to cut this woman out of my life if she rejects me?" Since I don't date where I work, everything is in my control. If this is a friend, am I ready to completely block her out of my life? If your answer is anything except yes, what are you thinking? It's going to lead to a 'yes' one day? I don't care about "one day", I care about now. If you are prepared to put a line through her name and be done with her forever if she says no, it will not sting at all. This also will insulate you from being a satellite, a simp or a friend-zoned man. If she asks "Can we just be friends?", the answer is 'no'. And tell her that outright; don't go telling her yes, and then block her later. That's childish. 2. Be kind to yourself. If you followed my previous advice, and were well prepared for the possibility of a 'no', this isn't a problem. I don't really buy the whole "she did you a favor" thing, not because it's not true, but because that point is unprovable. While you are reshuffling your deck, don't take this opportunity to then be a dick to her and act like a spoiled child. Quietly and calmly get your phone out, remove all her contact info, block her on social media (or just don't have social media to begin with, like I do), and go have a pizza somewhere. Pizza solves everything, AND you have a little time to consider someone else.... or not. Your choice. 3. It's not all about you. I would be remiss if I said I had nothing to add to this, but after my first two pieces of advice, some part of this IS about you. It's your life. Now, I'm not necessarily saying this was anyone's fault, because this happens more often than it doesn't. It may not feel like it, but in the same way (except the concept is reversed) we never watch on the news a bunch of planes landing safely all over the country, but it quickly becomes headline news when one of them crashes, all you see are the successes, and not the failures to ignite a relationship, in the same way that you don't see the safe landings, only the crashes. Remember what I said in #1? Think it out in advance. Pair that with #2, and don't do something that reflects poorly on you. Clarity of thought before rashness of action. 4. Abundance v. Scarcity mindset. There some good advice to follow there, provided you understand one simple thing. Never chase after women. Never hold your focus on one woman, either. This sort of scarcity mindset will fill you abundantly with dread, uneasiness and lack of ability to cope with your feelings. It would behoove you to know, letting a former interest poison future relationships is a form of self-sabotage. While we're on the topic of mindsets, here's a mindset you want to steer clear of. "One day, she's going to realize" No, and you don't care if she does. This isn't about playing mind games, as a way to simp her into your life. That means she still holds some sway over your persona, and that is no good. As far as I'm concerned, from that point on, she no longer exists. There is nothing to gain from trying to make her see the light. Many would tell you "if you show her that you don't care, it will make her wonder why you did that, and keep her in your orbit, but no. You shouldn't need Darth Vader to loan you the Death Star long enough for you to blast her completely out of your orbit. And assume those people are right. So what? 5. It leads to growth. Yes it does, but only if you let it. If you have eyes for one person, everything else will be fleeting past your grasp as everyone else moves on. No one will care that you have a soft shell on your heart and it hurt your feelings. While it seems like my advice is very negatively oriented, it is also logically based, and done so specifically so feelings are kept out and you can focus on something else without revisiting this, because I'll tell you right now, I've been a loner now for 11 years, and my freedom is something I value too much to ever let it slip through my fingers. Before I was divorced, I spent 3 years married and never feeling more alone, so I can tell you, it's better to be alone than to wake up next to a woman you're sure no longer loves you anymore, with three kids you cannot even remember how it was you made them with that woman, going to work at a 9-5 job, just so you can go to sleep wishing you were really alone.

[@mr.e1026]

@Gorge Jonezs "That's a lot of words to just say "Move on"" Yeah, might as well tell us all how easy "get over it" really is, while you're at it, then? What's that? It's not always that easy? Yeah... just moving on can be a rather daunting task, as well. "Rejection will happen many times in your life by many people for many reasons." buuuut, just moving on, yeah, that is the simple part. Right? If it was 'that simple', Courtney Ryan would not have bothered with this subject at all. And as I said, it isn't 'just move on', because there is a right way to do it, and many wrong ways to do it. I offered a pathway to do it with minimal downsides for you, and admittedly, I don't care about the other party, so, there's that.

[@mr.e1026]

@Gorge Jonezs Upset? More like amused. The current dating scene is not what it was when I was a young adult. I don't envy anyone, especially a young man, who tries to navigate their way though this minefield, either. I'm just here to help, since many of them probably didn't have anyone to assist them with a role model, and now need the Cliff notes on things to do/not do. Again, if what you're suggesting isn't a big deal, then you explain to me why Courtney Ryan felt the need to offer pointers on what to do when this happens to you. I'll wait.

[@mr.e1026]

@Gorge Jonezs I didn't make it a long and drawn out 1. move on, 2. move on, 3. move on.... there's more in there than that. It's there so, when they move on, they don't shoot themselves in the foot on the way out, nor will they set themselves up for trouble later.

[@russ9921]

Well I liked it, though it took a while to read it. ☺️

[@jleano609]

Much wisdom here. Attitude is everything. Yes, the advice must always be “ move on “ when faced with rejection but it’s important to understand the WHY and act with integrity. That will allow you to recover much quicker.

[@felixwatkins958]

I don’t need a self help book or manual, I just listen to Courtney!

[@Jarthewolf]

I have dealt with depression most of my life. Several months ago I made the decision to see a counselor and Peer Support (I’m still seeing them weekly). One of my goals has been working on rejection. I used to deal with rejection very negatively. I would take rejection very personally. Through the help of my Counselor, I have learned to love myself again and deal with rejection. I have learned to not take “rejection” so personally. Remember “rejection” doesn’t define you as a person! I am a big advocate and encourage others to get professional help, if you struggle with depression. There’s no shame in therapy, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Men especially need to get over this “ego” thing of seeking help. I have also decided to become a Peer Support Specialist myself in the near future, to help others that struggle with depression/anxiety and other mental illness. I am probably the happiest I have ever been, since getting the help I needed. Depression might be part of your life, but it doesn’t have to control your life. As always, great video Courtney. 🙏❤️

[@monkeytrollhunter]

Thank you for your kind advice! I love 4th one! "worry about you liking them instead of them liking you!" I was recently told by two of my female friends that they think I'm basically ready to get married, have my life put together and that anyone who will get me will be lucky. They also seem to be thinking highly of the effort I put in and the results I've obtained in my life. Their comments have boosted my confidence into thinking that I'm more attractive and desirable than I think of myself to be. I don't want to rush things, I'm the type of guy who'd like to take things slow, get to know the person, and choosing who I want to be with carefully while I worked hard my entire life.

[@russ9921]

Always get a prenup. Believe me, the person you loved on day one can turn into the person you hate years later.

[@CaringlsCreepy]

I always found it easier to deal with rejection than wonder "what if" my whole life.

[@johno6224]

Holy shit Ms. Ryan! ..... Well said! One of the best people giving advice on KZbin period! I'm an older guy and I'm telling all you young guys out there watching this video, you have no idea how fortunate you are to have this resource at your disposal! If I had this available when I was younger, my life would have surely been different, instead of learning my many mistakes the hard way, I would have been able to spare myself much pain. I check out different channels to see what people are putting out there and Ms. Ryan here, is putting out superior content. Support her and her channel. Ms. Ryan, I have much respect for you especially at your age! Thank you for being positive and uplifting in a time where society really needs it! I look forward to seeing more of your work, Take care.

[@jasonhurst8599]

Amen to that! As another older man, I completely concur. After watching several of Courtney's videos - esp on mistakes men make (being clingy, putting a woman ona pedestal, always agreeing etc) - I keep thinking where were you BEFORE I made all those stupid mistakes?! I'm glad I know know; unfortunately it's probably far too late.

[@johno6224]

@@jasonhurst8599 It's never too late to learn from your mistakes however you can. As long as you don't repeat them, you will be better in the long run. As you know this is all a part of life and learning. Also, it's never too late to reinvent yourself!

[@frankkoja6263]

Well, I guess you can call it “rejection”, but I finally had the courage to speak to a girl at the gym the other day (I followed all the tips from the gym video and also other people). Well, she was really nice, and she said that she was already seeing one. What is interesting is she actually chatted with me a bit and then we both went our way. I see her at the gym now and every time she sees me she smiles at me. So I guess if you are still afraid to approach girls ( something I am really nervous about), I guess just having the experience of going up to the person and be nice and respectful about it, you will feel better about yourself and have a better confidence. More importantly, you will realize that girls are humans too, and most of them are just nice and would appreciate it if you approached them in a nice, respectful way regardless of the outcome. So, you got it guys. Keep it going.

[@user-lm4zc1qc8k]

I got rejected by my crush and friend a few days ago. Felt like I got stabbed, hurt so much. I literally cried myself to sleep that night... Your video really made my feel a lot better about myself, and truly, the only way to bounce back is to be kind to yourself 💖

[@scottclark3761]

I am a but older, and most guys my age are rather inured to rejection. As a guy, you are constantly putting yourself out there. In the workplace, in dating, in socializing..and rejection is just something that happens. Personally, I was just too arrogant to let it get to me. I always viewed it as their loss. I am comfortable being alone, even, for periods of time rather than have "friends" that are anything but. If someone rejects you, at least they were honest and didn't waste your time stringing you along. On a personal level, these days, I take it as the universe directing me somewhere else. Have faith in the universe, and, sometimes, just let things happen. Feel the flow of things and move with the current. Do what you can, then let go. Sometimes when you stuggle you sabotage yourself, like a guy who is trying to hard to get a girl. Just my thoughts.

[@AMC5274]

Rejection is the best thing that can happen to someone because it reveals the truth of where you are in life. If you have a healthy outlook when it happens, you will immediately start improving yourself (going to the gym, learning an instrument, cooking) to help ease the pain and boost your value, but not for anyone else. And she might actually change her mind! If you have a meltdown and start obsessing, or lose your ability to function normally, then you were never ready for a relationship and have interpersonal work ahead of you.

[@damianlebuda2845]

it's tough, if you are cheated and rejected this way, I know how does it feel. Thank you for this video.

[@jaggedsigns3O11]

I met this amazing girl at a time when we were both coming out of bad relationships, we vented to eachother and became super close friends. I caught feelings for her genuine personality and humor, eventually I realized she's interested in someone else and I ended the friendship to protect my own emotions. I told her I had feelings for her and I got my answer because nothing was said back. It feels like a personal attack when you thought you had such a genuine connection but I know its not me nor is it her, she simply doesnt feel the same way and that's ok. bigger better things fellas, if you liked this person so much who doesnt like you back, imagine how good it will be when you find someone who does.

[@pinheadlarry3992]

Rejection means nothing to me now ever since i adopted this "experimental dating" mindset. I see everything as a way to build up experience & to learn. If i get rejected well it was just an experiment, now onto the next!

[@elaoroekutai]

My worst rejection so far happened 2 years ago where I applied to join a hospitality conference specialized for hotel management students, and I got turned down after my panel interview did not go so well. I felt hurt so much for a couple of months that I literally letted it out to my family. I then applied for a scholarship (by my college) to attend another travel conference which I managed to get after I performed better in my 2nd panel interview experience. Even though I got the scholarship to join a travel conference, the feeling of rejection from my 1st panel interview experience still lingered around until after I attended the travel conference. Luckily, the hospitality conference that I first applied to did not happen physically because the pandemic just started at the time. Therefore, my rejection turned out to be a blessing. I could not agree with you more that rejection definitely leads to growth, and I kept going. I found this video to be really helpful and thank you for that! 😃

[@bloodline206]

I’ve been thru this rejection thru my life and watching your video changed the way i think. Always stay kind and positive to yourself. Don’t let rejection change the way who we are. Thanks for the video courtney.

[@josesantana770]

Speechless. You are really delivering a message for people who are in need of guidance in life. Sponsor a hit. Didn't see that coming. Glad feedback makes a difference in quality of content.

[@PRdude]

About doing your best, and still not getting the good results you hoped for. I wish people would understand that, and not put the blame on someone who doesn't get their way, saying they didn't do enough, or that they should have done better. We do our best. No one is perfect. Also, I mostly think that I'm a better person IN SPITE OF rejection instead of because of it.

[@mikeklein1779]

So true. You learn a lot more from failures than you do from success.

[@hjpwin]

Eat healthily, work out, engage in positive things in order to build strength against rejections.

[@AsianZing2397]

Constantly falling or failing can get really demoralizing. But staying kind to myself was the best remedy - even though it took time to embrace this mentality. I used betterhelp in the past & recommend it. Thanks for the vid Courtney, hope all is well.

[@briar35981]

In personal relationships rejection is very common. This doesn't entirely fall back on you as a person. The best thing to do is just bounce back. Get out there and get rejected again.

[@dmitrifabro905]

Thanks for the video Courtney! most people, not just guys, need to face this to grow. In terms of a woman, Matthew Hussey said it perfectly when he said, "If she doesn't choose you, she's not the one." This is a mindset that gives me a lot of confidence and also lessens my anxiety. Why would you even waste your time chasing someone who doesn't want you in their life? Secondly, being rejected can suck and the pain varies depending on the type of rejection but as Jordan Peterson said, " The best way to get past rejection is to get rejected over and over again." It's like a muscle. The more you exercise your mind to withstand it the less painful it is until one day being rejected will not change your mood or mindset because you've faced that fear. This is the place you want to be. Where external factors cannot dictate your mood or behavior. The best way to get here is by doing hard stuff, strengthening your mindset, finding yourself, and finding that peace from within.

[@MillerGenuineDraft1980]

I don’t know about that! Getting rejected constantly just leads to some serious rage and low self esteem.

[@JACCO20082012]

What happens when you get rejected after all of the signs are there that she was interested? When she was dropping hints? When you had rapport? Then what? It's hard not to take it personally and internalize it when that keeps happening.

[@GEORGIOARCADE]

Such a helpful yet healing type of video Courtney. I wish i had your advice when i was younger. To me, rejection is just a lesson. You can learn from it on what not to do and most importantly it just means whoever it was or whatever it was wasn't for you. The universe is like "nah, there's something better coming your way." The good is, at least you tried. That makes rejection hurt less and it does over time. Nice betterhelp ad tho lol. Anyways, have a great day 💚

[@jpnarino]

So said the stunning woman that is very rarely rejected

[@sprites75]

rejection hurts. and the more you are rejected , the more painful it gets each time. that's easy to handle it when you have succedeed at least once

[@israeliniceguy8100]

That's not has to be the case at all, the more you get rejected the more you get used to it and less afraid of it.

[@sprites75]

depends on the people, i guess. i never get used to it, and it hurts more and more

[@douglas5097]

I’ve started working out at the gym because of rejection. Started learning German because of another. Moved to another country because of another one. Many other situations made me challenge myself somehow. Today I feel almost “there” 😄. But the point is, I upgraded myself many times.

[@DEU9002]

Toll!!

[@grahamdamberger7130]

That is so true. I once heard a woman say that she went for a job interview, she had the skills for the job position she was being interviewed for, but lost out to someone who personally knew the interviewer. Yeah, you could have close connections with people, but you need the skills to go with those connections, and vice versa.

[@jamessupan8673]

I have been rejected really bad, some of them are my schoolmates in high school and a neighbor. But the worst thing was body shaming me, that is why I don't want to date some girls who were closed by. It took me a years before I got recovered from rejection and understanding why I should stop dating.

[@jamessupan8673]

@Evidence Based Health Well I did experienced it. I remember this girl look down on me from foot to head, telling me that she doesn't want me because I'm ugly. Another girl even called me OGAG, a Filipino version of Mr. Bean but dumb and ugly. Yes! That is how woman rejected their unwanted suitors back then. But now I don't know, I become introverted because of that experience and I don't think I can go on a date.

[@michaelsantangelo7997]

Nothing like being lectured on how rejection is no big deal from a woman who looks like Courtney Ryan. Yeah she really knows and feels our pain. Remember that one time in the 7th grade when one boy didn’t like her? Yeah she knows.

[@redvine1105]

Recently got rejected by someone I had started seeing in a sort of “Situationship” scenario a couple months ago. Sort of thought I would be better prepared for this sort of thing because 1) I’m now in my 40s and 2) I’ve been through a divorce so what could possibly hurt me after that shit show? Turns out it still hurts, perhaps not as acutely as it would have in my 20s. But it doesn’t feel good and never will. And there are new anxieties I’m now bringing to the table, I feel this scarcity mindset issue is becoming more and more of a challenge for me as I get older and see what the dating landscape really looks like.

[@joerockhead7246]

It doesn't always sting. But when it does, it does. Love the green. It's your color. :)

[@moxythepirate1281]

Short term rejection is relatively easy to get over. I've realized that I can't manifest desire in someone else, it just has to be there, and it's much better to know this from the get go rather than over the course of an LTR. Rejection from a LTR is much harder to absorb, but I'll say this much, having witnessed the paths that my exes took after our breakups/divorces, I can say I'm largely relieved that those relationships ended, whether for better or worse. The women I dated long term have all gone on to multiple divorces/breakups, unhealthy weight gain, alcoholism, loss of income, or at worst, death. None of which I had anything to do with, and all while I have worked to find a more fulfilling life at 37 years old. Some things are just meant to be, whether we like it or not. You're advice is refreshing, and it's nice to see you talk to your viewers without the cynical nature I've seen a lot of creators on the internet produce.

[@Daniel-vc1qs]

I thought you said you weren't gonna do paid promotionals on your channel? 😂😂 Still, great video! I think it's important to realize too that the person doing the rejecting isn't enjoying this situation any more than you are, because now they feel like a horrible person for being responsible for you feeling down about yourself. That is why some girls are afraid to be direct in their rejection and end up *unintentionally* leading the guy on (as has happened to me), which can only end up making things worse. Rejection sucks all around, but whatever side of the equation you're on the important thing is to not feel bad about yourself and realize you can't control how the other person feels, either about you or themselves.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Haha I haven’t really done any up until this point and I’m very selective with the brands I choose! You might see them every now and then but it won’t be like all these other channels that have a sponsor in every video 😂 great comment, thank you!

[@Straga_Severa]

> the person doing the rejecting isn't enjoying this situation any more than you are No. Many women are really enjoying rejecting men, because it raises their worth in their eyes.

[@blackticalmayhem8461]

exactly i always say to myself i can't MAKE her like me lol. if its there its There LOL.and i agree 100% with you on leading a man on its actually worse thinking you still have a chance LMAO.. happened to me recently we talked everyday and them BOOM! ''Oh i see you as just a FRIEND'' .......OUCH !

[@blackticalmayhem8461]

@@Straga_Severa some not all lol

[@paulmb_uk]

@@CourtneyRyan firstly thank you for all your videos and I love the way you kept the sponsor related to the video topic. Personally I’ve always been scared of rejection because of that I have been single for seven years now. I’m truly grateful for your advice and insight

[@geneprogamer3936]

Thank you, Courtney I'm dealing with a rejection from a crush at work

[@L.K.S.R.]

Hearing that I’m just ugly is the probably the better thing do

[@joseafalvel]

no matter how much these dating coaches want to prepare you to have a bullet proof mindset, too many rejections and no one single success case eventually leads you to low self confidence and depression, I actually was about to use better help to receive proffesional assistance, I was not able to pay for it back in those days but you can imagine how frustrated I was due to female rejection, the best solution is stop trying, women are not worthy your time

[@greatness3554]

Beautiful people don't ever get rejected only the ugly ones do.

[@kingdiablo841]

I got rejected million time since high school I got used to it to get rejected until I gave up looking for relationships and i focus my self

[@CharlesChacon]

I think one thing in life that's always prevalent is balance. Men that want to take the world upon their shoulders will need that much relief. If you work hard in construction, you probably need to relax equally as hard when you get home. When you are super successful spearheading your way into the corporate world, you probably need to spend a lot of time reflecting on your values to stay true to yourself. When you suffer mentally, such as with rejection, it's important to heal, whether that be with the help of loved ones, getting time away from everything, therapy (I am very grateful for my sessions with Better Help), or something else entirely. To be the best man you can be, don't always hold onto things so much that they blind you to your mission of being that best man. Let the person that rejected you go and you'll find your better fit in this world later. If you maintain the patience, perhaps let go of some of your discipline for just long enough to heal, and keep your integrity all throughout, somebody else is going to be really lucky to have you.

[@sr92007]

@Courtney Ryan can you do another video about Rejection Men need it!

[@joshuamendez587]

Wow this video is timely! I just got rejected like five hours ago after we went on three dates. It is what it is, thank you!

[@jamesclough2638]

Very interesting. I thought I was crazy. It really does hurt.

[@sunnyphoenix5603]

Sometimes it is something toxic about you that you need to work on to be honest after being rejected by the woman I loved I realized it was because I lacked emotional control after many years I finally had someone tell me.

[@Straga_Severa]

It is very easy for a woman to handle rejection, because any woman always has a lot of options. It is much harder for men, because most of us have zero options, so each rejection means we are forced to do this awful grind again and again.

[@sammybolton9580]

WRONG!!!!! women despise rejection!! It destroys them!!!

[@Straga_Severa]

@@sammybolton9580 Rejections from a very high value guy? Maybe. Rejections from a normal, good, average guy? Hah, she can replace him in a second.

[@bsheehy94]

This is the video I needed. Rejection is my biggest mental block when it comes to asking girls out.

[@testosteronemastery]

You just gotta bite the bullet bro, dealing with rejection in a healthy manner is like learning any other skill. It sucks, but getting rejected is inevitable if you wanna find a high quality girl.

[@testosteronemastery]

@Evidence Based Health Geez dude, that’s fucked up. They were body shaming you?

[@xmanofficial]

Don’t be scared man, i missed out on many opportunities because i didn’t ask out woman who may have liked me because i scared. I asked out a girl for the first time yesterday and got rejected. It sucks, but you have to take a risk in order to get what you want sometimes. Also it will make asking out a woman easier.

[@yourvision4986]

Courtney we appreciate all the value you give so keep up the great work. We're curious how do you do your research for all the topics you cover?

[@garmisra7841]

I appreciate what you're saying - especially about the Grace and kindness to yourself, don't have to be super Stoic. Admit that it hurts and it sucks, feel bad, talk to someone, feel better. We tend to beat ourselves up for rejection when it might not have anything at all to do with us. Whether it's a job or approaching a woman or anything. The difficulty with this, however, is that we'll never know for sure if it was something to do with us or not. It's not common practice for a woman to reject you and give you constructive feedback as to why she did. Employers usually don't do that either, and if they do it's usually some useless runaround about 'professional presence', or because the qualifications you've demonstrated don't match the job description sufficiently (mind you, quite often no indication as to whether you can actually do the job). And I empathize with women because if they were bluntly honest, it could lead to a very negative reaction and even threat or violence. I've read opinions that say it's OK to ask for feedback, but even if you get some, if you're feeling raw about a rejection it's not the healthiest thing to get that kind of feedback because you're already dealing with those emotions. Best thing IMO is to remove yourself and when you're feeling calm or recovered, think about what you might do differently. For a resume you can ask an expert or knowledgeable, experienced friend. For an approach, maybe check out some of Courtney's videos! I think the context is really important. I think the most important thing is to manage expectations and be clear about what you want. Approach a woman not because you want a date or sex or a relationship, but to connect. A connection can be a brief conversation, a casual acquaintance, a friendship, a relationship, a partnership. You're looking to see if there is a connection and if it's not there, look through another door.

[@alanguages]

Rejection is a part of life, but how a person is rejected should also be addressed.

[@blackticalmayhem8461]

exactly some women i hate to say it need to be a little less aggressive. Men also have ''feelings'' and it is not necessary to be mean for no reason

[@testosteronemastery]

@@blackticalmayhem8461 This is where I think it’s important to just not let words get to you. While some women could certainly be a little nicer in how they reject guys, some men definitely just need to have a little thicker skin too.

[@testosteronemastery]

@Evidence Based Health Agreed, they can dish it out all day long but they can’t take for a second

[@blackticalmayhem8461]

@Evidence Based Health 👍👍😊

[@captainmgtowschool5132]

Good video I interviewed for a job with the skills been rejected a lot, but changed skill set and interviewed for another job got it rejection taught me that this job had no market other did

[@stargirlmystic4670]

I am ok with rejection. It’s normal. It happens. It’s going to happen. It’s doesn’t mean anything is wrong with me. Just mantra -ing my way through this

[@theokatman]

my answer , i give up

[@jamessullivan5619]

I know lots of people who have NOT been romantically rejected. It does not happen to everybody. It happens to a lot of people but not everybody. Relationships that do work out romantically speaking are largely due to LUCK. Again not all of them but a hell of a lot of them. Nothing good comes from rejection....there will be a few lessons of "learning" as a positive outcome but 90% of the Romantic Rejections I've seen or learned about were just BAD and 90% of the time the Woman's deceptive behavior was the main reason things ended.

[@myroadtours6147]

Rejection happens for sure, it doesn't feel great but you will be fine. I really need to get over this COID crud and get back to traveling lol

[@davidbowman2035]

I think if people had a better understanding of the ancient philosophy of stoicism, which I am currently doing, I think we would all get along much better.

[@duanebacon9296]

Rejection and my inability to deal with it has probably done more damage to me than anything else ever will. My own worst enemy, indeed.

[@amrassal4512]

I have been rejected many times , this is life what can i do rather than growing up every day , I'm used to rejection but i have had enough...

[@drummercarson896]

Courtney, not only I love your hairstyle in this video. I also love the green shirt you're wearing in the video

[@marccryder8297]

Your truly an amazing person and a great hope for us. I would truly like to ask you a very personal question.

[@Sagefrakrobatik]

I have crush on this girl on my job, I've liked her ever since we met six months ago. I talk to her a lot to see if she is single without asking her. I found her on social media and she is listed as single. So the other day I bought her some cookie dough Ice cream as a hint. I'm waiting until I finish my work-out program so I am in the best shape when I go to ask her out.

[@michaellegrand3892]

What happens if you have been rejected over a hundred times in the last few years? Am I growing? Should I not be discouraged? No dates. Zero.

[@ericv5435]

I recently developed the mindset, just assume all women don't like me so I have nothing to lose when talking to them. Just keep low expectations and I won't get hurt. How I handle rejection from other things that don't involve women, "eh, I never thought anything good would happen anyway so it's not a big deal."

[@stayhappylittlemermaid]

No matter how good or bad your life is, wake up everyday and be thankful you still have one.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Absolutely ❤️

[@AA-hg5fk]

Still gutted from getting rejected 2 weeks ago, I will get through it but still hurts.

[@taraswertelecki3786]

Above all, if someone rejects you, silence is the best way to respond. No contact, ignore them and do not fall for the offer of friendship after being romantically rejected. As for men, never give a woman more than one chance to reject you.

[@earlcombs2898]

Courtney is right about rejection to a point. However, what happens when rejection become life long? How does a society sustain itself when married people are a minority and couples are only have 1.64 children per couple. Ultimately, everyone has to "settle" in order to survive. Otherwise, the end of society will occur due to everyone's individualism.

[@josealvarado8842]

Courtney, you're right about rejection being apart of life and everyone will get rejected at least once or twice in their life. I remember being a lot younger I knew ZERO ways how to meet and get a girl I was interested in and I always played it safe because I have low self esteem, depression, zero Confidence, had social anxiety so sometimes I wouldn't even attempt to approach the girls I really was interested in so I would settle for any girl who showed interest in me because I didn't really have options like that and didn't know how to Level Up myself to be better and get better Females in my life. Fast forward to now I'm Happier, More Optimistic, More Confident, More Interesting, I Upgraded my wardrobe, I Think and Feel A lot better now, I'm just overall Better now, Not Perfect but honestly A lot better than how I was before and even now that I approach the Women that I really find interesting, I still get rejected and I whole heartedly believe that When it comes to the Dating/Relationship/Marriage scene Women have twice, even three times the options that Men do regardless if their High Value or not and get rejected more than Women. I'm bringing this up because I think this is a bit overlooked and not much light is shed on this and I also think that not very many Men talk about this especially openly because there's this expectation of not sharing this kind of stuff and be man enough not to. I don't take rejection personally because I know I'm not every girl's cup of tea but it's weird how I have to do a million different things to be viewed considered valueable, interesting, or high value and a woman's value is her existence, her looks, and how much selfies she takes and she will Always have more an advantage over me and she expects me to stay 100% Confident. I still do things to make improvements on myself and I'm still growing so I know I have a long road ahead but sometimes I do wonder if the one that is suppose to be for me is even putting in the same amount of work and effort to be the one for me. Anyways, I'm not shaming or attacking Women but there's some insane expectations most Women have for Men to meet and Men are suppose to meet them but when a Man has some expectations for a Woman or wants to test her to see if she's the right girl for a guy then it's a huge problem and it's kind of confusing me.

[@jleano609]

You’ve got it about right. For attraction, men have a burden of performance, women don’t. That’s just the way its always been and it’s only got worse over time. But it’s not going to change and a man just has to accept it and do the work. That said, as he performs and raises his value, he should also have standards and boundaries for the woman he’s dating. That’s her burden of performance once IN a relationship.

[@jerometrescott742]

Rejection isn't really worth wasting energy on. But I don't buy the growth argument. We can't force anyone to acknowledge our qualities and we shouldn't. But rejection doesn't promote growth we're going to evolve or remain stagnant based on our choices, it has nothing to do with if anyone accepts us or not. We can't waste energy on other people and I won't be defined by it either. Happiness is a choice and those who rely on others for that will have the most difficulty.

[@cisium1184]

You're not entirely wrong, but you have misunderstood her point. She's not saying rejection _itself_ promotes growth, but that we learn about ourselves by experiencing it, and get better at handling it with multiple experiences. As you write, "we're going to evolve or remain stagnant based on our choices"; rejection presents us with such a choice as to how to respond, and our experience informs that response. Babies do not emerge from the womb with a fully developed idea of how to handle rejection; they learn how through either personal discovery or imitation. If you can handle rejection, it's because you've experienced it firsthand, or witnessed rejection of another and imitated their response.

[@JunkersJu109]

Its easy to accept rejection from people you've just known or new acquaintances rather than someone you've known for a long time. How do you handle that? coz all the memories even the good ones become venom

[@sir.confident]

It's not really that they are fearful of rejection, it's just that they've been rejected everything by, from their POV, every woman in the country, that they just throw in the towel and give up. I don't think it has anything to do with fear. How do I know? Because I was there. But it was being by myself that I learned to be who I am. I still don't have a Mrs in my life. But..... I guess it's for good reasons.

[@mikegray8164]

I think age is a huge factor. For instance, over the age of 40 the dating pool is extremely shallow. Even one rejection can be a huge setback.

[@taras3702]

The abundance mindset is BS, especially for those who NEVER had many, if any romantic options. I always had very few to none which is why I slammed the hatch on romantic relationships for good long ago. I would rather be alone than settle for someone I do not want to be with.

[@Ichigoeki]

Abundance VS scarcity? Yeah, 10 years between dates kinda changes how you view it...

[@djross4136]

This was a very insightful video kind of made my day

[@Armando316]

Rejection is another step closer to the right one. I would never want to try to win over someone who isn’t interested.

[@blackticalmayhem8461]

exactly . good point they should be equally interested in you as you are in them . i hate the ''fake'' stuff lol

[@grondhero]

So wish you were around when I was in high school. As a friendly reminder, I love that green shirt on you. ;)

[@mrjjthor]

"Pinky promise"!!! That's it. I'm completely sold. 😁