5 ways empaths self sabotage in the workplace

[@vitalmindcoaching]

Please keep in mind the following when commenting: I am unable to provide specific advice or a clinical opinion through the comments section. For this reason, please avoid giving specific details of your own personal history/struggles as I am unable to monitor how others respond to such comments. I am open to ideas and suggestions for future videos which may be relevant to a specific question you have in mind.

[@stellastar4566]

Thank you very much for your great efforts on this complex topic. May I suggest a table of content or a list of keywords for the content of all your valuable post so far. This would be very helpful. Thanks!

[@pamlame4925]

I have watched so many videos and read so much text and been to various forums on the subject of narcissism and em paths and you covered so much more than any of the others and made so much sense to me. I understand so much clearer now why I stayed so long in the relationship, and how he could so completely walk away without looking back, and the dynamics of both types, why we connect so easily. Too much to go into all of what I learned but you certainly approach the subject in a very clinical yet caring way and i very much appreciate the time you have devoted to this subject. Not saying I like all that you said, but when one is faced with seeing some truths in themselves, it is not always suppose to be easy. I have been avoiding therapy since the divorce but I think you have convinced me that it will be a great benefit for my healing and now I agree. Thank you! It's way time for me to move on and get my life back on track.

[@vitalmindcoaching]

Great to hear, Pam. I wish you all the best and my videos have served their purpose well if they have encouraged you to seek the professional help you deserve.

[@daleharris5472]

You seem to have a gift to simplify what your saying in layman's terms and without ego. Thankyou sir. Spot on.

[@laraoneal7284]

Vital Mind Psychology I would advise anyone here on your site to watch s movie entitled GUT on Amazon Prime. The Gut is your second brain, the enteric brain. This gave me incredible knowledge on how to protect my nervous system. This has been huge for me being a trauma survivor. We have to really learn how to manage stress. I also did studies on Nanosilver liquid in healing myself of any fungi and also CBD OIL in helping me relax. Also horrible GERD seeing my gastroenterologist and not able to take any proton inhibitors whatsoever. Horrid side effects. Spoke to him and also told him I’m researching all of this with other doctors here on UT. I’m having success so far with these products from a doctor I found on KNOW THE CAUSE with Dr Kauffman. Ordered books and products from a dr on his program. Many trauma survivors have huge stomach problems which is so much connected with our brain. All I know is I’ve been able to relax my stomach with these products. I also have a very small hiatal hernia and my Gastroenterologist was even saying we may have to consider the Lynx surgery to remove the hernia and I’ve even researched that and they are saying it sometimes does not work because the hernia returns. All I know is I’ve gotten huge results from these nanosilver products and a sample of the CBD oil. I can’t wait to discuss all of this with my gastroenterologist. He is the one who recommended the movie GUT produced by French doctors in 2013. I’m also an empath so all of this was hugely needed for me. I’m not overweight and eat very healthy so I knew none of that was a problem I’ve always thought this was from my emotional problems from my abuse and this movie says the same. It is fascinating. I wanted to share this with you Dr because I thought you would be interested to know how much this helped people like us who follow you for obvious reasons. Thank u for reading. Pls let me know what u think.

[@arus2539]

1) revealing too much too soon 2) forming unhealthy alliances with needy colleagues 3) always saying yes, too afraid to say NO 4) believing and accepting an unspoken agreement with the boss that if I do all the shitty jobs no one else will do, I will be recognized, respected and promoted. Since there was no official agreement with the boss, resentment sets in b/c I now feel used. 5) playing it safe and staying in shitty jobs that are not satisfying. Fear based mentality, survival mode, there's nothing better out there, might as well stay and eat shit b/c at least I have a job, although I'm not satisfied. Anxiety view of the world, and my needs won't be met if I leave my comfort zone. I hope this summary is correct!

[@1autumn-soul]

Alexandra Russell thank you for summing it up🙏

[@yash2292]

Thank you for your efforts to write down all

[@cherylstorm6261]

Thanks for the summary!

[@rhondafricker3656]

This pretty much says it when you feel like you have no choice without knowing all the truth.

[@rhondafricker3656]

They have the mentality of permission to exist.

[@appleskins]

1. By revealing too much about themselves and assuming a greater level of closeness with their colleagues than actually exists. 2. By forming unhealthy alliances with needy colleagues who drain their energy. 3. By always saying yes, by being too afraid to impose boundaries, by being too afraid to say no. 4. By entering into a covert contract with their employer and coworker. 5. By playing it too safe, staying in jobs which are unsatisfying, being to risk adverse.

[@diana_prince_1]

Thanks for the summary. 👍👍

[@alexandraki]

Guilty of number 1, 4 and 5 but getting better and better on 4 and 5. 1 needs A LOT of work still...😅

[@alpacalepetit144]

Is this for real? This is EXACTLY what I've needed to hear all of my life! Thank you.

[@zarasmith2427]

I said the same thing when I found this today! Puts a lot of things into perspective.

[@GS-st9ns]

@@zarasmith2427 that's very humble of you to admit.

[@GS-st9ns]

@@zarasmith2427 that's very humble of you to admit.

[@jennamoore1018]

Me too!!

[@cybco]

He’s incredible!!!!!!

[@SydneeCoggins]

Hello, I am 19, an empath and highly sensitive. Recently I started working at McDonalds and I am so proud of myself for not absorbing anyones negative energy ❤

[@cynthiajohnson9412]

First let me say that I'm guilty of all these things. And I so appreciate the perspective of a psychologist on this issue. But reading through the comments under this video I realize that people are looking for ways to steer away from these behaviors once they recognize them and I wanted to offer my perspective, if it will help. Empaths are not created, they are born. If they suffered narcissistic abuse it is because they navigate through life based on their emotions. It isn't something we chose to do or something someone else placed upon us, it is just who we are. We suffer for it and we can and do become dysfunctional because of it. So when we look for emotional connections to those we work with, that's just how we interact. But it is a problem. I know from vast experience that when I do this type of stuff, I'm not really getting what I'm looking for. I was just an emotionally starving person looking to stay alive. Now I am healthier, I can see how creepy my need would seem to those who don't understand. But my underlying emotional core is not going to change. But here are a couple of tips for empaths that I've used to help me. Since being externally focused and dependent on others doesn't work and makes us to a certain extent emotional vampires, I look to movies, books, and music for a more controllable source of emotional connection. I unapologetically watch Hallmark movies. I read classic novels that deal with stories on a much deeper and emotionally universal level than most bestsellers. When I'm immersed in an emotionally satisfying novel, I find I'm not looking at my co-workers for connection. Maybe someone could start and website or Facebook page for empaths where emotionally true and satisfying content could be shared to help us meet our needs and connect in a way that is natural, honest, and healthy. Anyone interested can leave a comment under this post.

[@cynthiajohnson9412]

Currently, I'm watching 1960s sitcoms like That Girl, Family Affair, The Partridge Family, and Nanny and The Professor. Or later shows like The Waltons or The Nanny. It feels great to reconnect to the open, wholesome, loving energies of these shows. When I was younger there was a huge element of jealousy and contempt that clouded my enjoyment of these shows. I didn't grow-up in a loving supportive family. I suffered narcissist abuse that made me embittered to the idea of happy, loving families. Now I watch and see the shows a fantasies, but healthy fantasies. It's nice to see modeled emotional responses that are healthy and bonding. So what if it is unattainable in real life, it's something to hold as a model to work toward. I am sure there are people who really are as emotionally healthy and giving as Bill Davis, even if it is only one or two. It feels good to believe they exist even if I never meet one. I think if you can watch these shows and are truly able to connect to the love, that's how we heal. Much healthier than turning to a narcissist to meet our needs. I may be wrong, but I think this is a step in the right direction. It also has to do with my belief in the Law of Attraction where you tune your mind to what you want and not what you don't want. We empaths need to start tuning into positive energies to sustain us. We are always free to critique a show or episode, I'm not suggesting blind acceptance. We empaths who have been involved with narcissists already know how it feels to be completely caught up in a fantasy, I don't think we are in danger on getting too high on positive, loving energy. Maybe, it's just me.

[@marsinafrica]

Cynthia Johnson I am interested. I would happily start it if you would join. Any name suggestions?

[@cynthiajohnson9412]

I'm watching Family Affair (Amazon Prime) and I guess because I always felt like an orphan in my own family I soak up Uncle Bill's honesty, integrity, and love for his adopted kids. I also watch The Partridge Family and am inspired by the love of Shirley's actions and words that inspire love and respect everywhere she goes.

[@ShunyamNiketana]

Hi, Cynthia: I'm enjoying your various comments and insights. I'm with you in that I think we are born empaths and not "made" that way by our circumstances, though the latter certainly influences how our nature develops or expresses itself. I think I probably get from movies and massage what you seem to get from the old family TV shows. I was going to recommend The Waltons, but I can see you're already watching it.

[@TheKak933]

Cynthia Johnson I started practicing more self aware behavior, like learning to say no; focusing on what I want and then communicating it... things I'm not used to but want to be. The more I speak up, the more natural it's becoming. I'm also realizing all that's awesome about being empathic. Just parts need to change. Relaxation is crucial, so I walk a few miles a day.

[@nachitzinPipiltzin]

I had no idea before age 68, ten years ago, that I not only did not know how to say no I would never consider it an option. I was institutionalized since age two. You descrbed my employment history accurately, Thank you again.

[@unearthed.]

Can you please make a video on Empaths and boundaries.

[@luvvinlovelock7254]

I'm an empath and I've been suffering from bullying at work for all my life I'm 53 turning 54 and I don't know how much longer I can take it anymore

[@sprocastersprocaster]

@@luvvinlovelock7254

[@lovewhitey2027]

Say No no no !!!do the bare minimum like most people... Stop to save your own life literally 🙏🏻🙏🏻💥👸🏻

[@heidiaguilar1257]

People will take advantage of you. The whole world system is a huge narcissistic situation. I have chose to go no contact with jobs, etc. Not worth my sanity and happiness.

[@irenegish7807]

Very good! I listen to this often to get it to sink in!

[@CaToRi-]

Totally agree

[@davspa6]

Heidi Aguilar, your comment was a over a year ago, so things may have changed since then. , If not, just try to see what he's saying. He's trying to say to be more objective about your job situation. I have done pretty much all five of them, I'm going to work to stop doing that. You can still be an empath, but don't be foolish in your behavior. That's all he's saying. He said the very thing that you say in your comment, that these behaviors result in the very comment you made. Just objectively, in the first one, if you reveal a bunch of information about yourself to people that you don't know are trustworthy, you open yourself up to possible manipulation, common sense. That doesn't mean everyone will try to manipulate you, but the potential is there. You are responsible for your behavior, not the rest of the world. If you hide in a shell you are actually not taking responsibility but simply reacting to the world. Your, my empathic ability is not going away. Better instead to learn the skills that he's talking about, I think. I'm over 50 years old. I don't want to waste any more time.

[@davspa6]

@@RavenStealstheNight I think that is true, the world is becoming more selfish, but I also think that empaths do what he's saying here. I know I have done all five of them How could he possibly know that? He has never met me. So seems to me is worth learning his material.

[@lexousknox2705]

I feel the same way. I've always had problems with people at my job. My empathic gifts are so strong I can feel and see peoples' energy and their true thoughts so well. It's always been so hard going to work and dealing with coworkers and managers. I just realize how evil people are and it seems like I've always been their target. I never understood why people choose to bully until now. It's a spiritual warfare. No one realizes how hard it is to be an empath because you literally can sense everyone's thoughts and emotions and most of the time they are not good ones.

[@naveenkeshvan1497]

wow! Dr you are absolutely spot on, just described my whole work sphere and I was totally clueless about what was happening and why I was suffering so much. thanks so much dr

[@cynthiasarah4286]

Me too! I work myself into the hospital yearly! The pay so well, its a double trap, and they are toxic and bipolar.

[@mariecrowe8843]

I don’t over share, I over listen......then I find I’m everyones dustbin and there is no space for me. I think Abdul your work is tremendous, especially the link between nutrition and mental health, you’re a gift.

[@VanillaButtercreamFrosting]

I too am the dustbin which has led to being the end all for my needy boss.

[@bonnieirvin5793]

How does an empath deal with coworkers who try to sabotage and undermine them? I usually go into a job trying to "people please" and then realize I'm not getting the respect I deserve.

[@saranox7319]

I figured if you're mean, stand up for yourself etc. you get much more respect than if you're always respectful. Don't avoid confrontation at all costs, feels the fear and do it anyway. You will fell like a bad person at first but you have do recondition your boundarie setting. (for me it was conditioned as much, as thinking about saying no triggered anxiety.)

[@CaToRi-]

Bonnie Irvin - watch the movie Bedazzled with Brendan Fraser

[@davspa6]

Is this not practicing trait number 3? Always saying yes...

[@caprisuncancermoon4989]

OMG!!! The universe lead me to this video. I'm struggling at the workplace!

[@rhondaporro877]

Sir, you are one of the most intelligent people I have ever heard speak on the subject of psychology!!! Infact, the way in which you impart this vital information is So succinct, that infact you should be shouting it from the roof tops!! Thank you so very much for sharing this profound knowledge and wisdom!! God Bless you! Ronnie from Harmony Minnesota USA

[@caitlinhouse5808]

Dr. Saad, I'm writing to tell you that because of the work that you've done, I was able to recognize something tonight and I believe that this is the beginning of a new start. I watched this video earlier today and I was sort of mulling it over in the back of my mind. Then, something came up that was work related and I felt an overwhelming amount of responsibility, resentment, and exhaustion toward a coworker and my job. I thought, "I'm going to quit! I can't take it anymore." Once the initial feelings passed, I saw my behaviors for what they were. I've said, "yes" too many times. I had covert contracts that I didn't even know I had. I've burdened myself with responsibility and much of it is tied to feelings of self worth. I can see it now, and I feel so free. I have a lot of praying to do. I thank God for you and your videos.

[@PersephoneBFF]

I'm SO glad I watched this video today! I do most of these things, definitely stay in abusive job positions WAY too long, put up with way too much, and I am always an open book! I'm just about to start a new job, and I'm going to make sure I don't make the same mistakes! THANK YOU.

[@secondpsyght1354]

Phebe Greentree hey, I hope 6 months later. Change is happening. I am about to bail out of my job. For the exact reasons mentioned half way through. Also doesn't help when your boss is a sociopath.

[@jeanninehill6009]

Thank you for being so straight forward, yet also so kind. Your 5 points are right on the money, perfectly describing my workplace experiences. Because of my faulty mindset, I ended up doing the jobs of 2+ people, ones who never acknowledged, appreciated, or reciprocated my hard work. Due to the overload and stress on my body, I ended up injuring myself while at work and am now permanently disabled. I wish I'd known these insights sooner! For future reference for other empaths --If you have to choose between being liked and being respected, ALWAYS choose respected!

[@beautydefined1601]

🙏 God bless you

[@TheSingingVocologist]

I’d like to thank you for making videos about empaths and their own pitfalls. So many KZbin personalities only focus on how the empath is a victim to the evil narcissist, but never really address how the empath operates and how their behaviors can attract toxic personalities to them. It takes two to tango, they say. I’ve learned some things about myself from listening to your insights. I’ve had to stop listening to videos about narcissism, as I’ve done LOTS of research on it. I was stuck in a victim loop and had to break free from it and move on, as it was negatively impacting my health. Now, My focus is on learning more about myself, as an empath, so I can recognize what I need to work on within myself, so that I can stop attracting these types of people into my life. I feel that this is the path on which my souls work and happiness lie. Thank you, again, and keep doing what you are doing. We need people like you - beacons of light and hope - especially with all the chaos that is happening in the world now. ❤️

[@justbcusican230]

Every single one of these described me. What's really funny is, the reason I was watching this today is because I'm starting a new job in 2 weeks. Monday I will be giving two week notice to my old boss. It was such a toxic and negative environment. When I saw this on KZbin today, I was automatically drawn to it because I wanted to make sure I start off my new job the right way! Thank you so very much sir! I look forward to watching more of your videos in the future!

[@sarahannemorrison8087]

anolagay s I wish you the best in your new job!!

[@jilliansmith7123]

anolagay: Good luck to you. It's hard to break old habits...but do make your best effort!

[@lisac6139]

It took me 6 years to understand what you just explained in 10 minutes. God bless you.

[@chm825]

To Dr. Saad, Thank you so much for your excellent and helpful videos. Having watched most of your videos on Narcissism and the Empath, I feel so much more empowered now, having reached the stage of exhaustion - that is: I was befriended through my country of birth and hometown with a covert narcissist who constantly demeaned and sarcastically abused me over a period of years to suck off my positive energy. Being a "good" Empath, I swallowed it until last summer, when I got physically ill with a gut inflammation, received anti-inflammatory shots to cope with the pain. I actually, unknowingly, called the narcissist to walk my dog because I had too much stomach pain! My physician warned me to stay away from whoever caused me so much pain. This started the entire process of learning as much as I could about dysfunctional people and I have been going through all the stages you, Dr. Saad have been talking about. I kicked the narcissist in the "butt", same country, same town and all (Germany), got rid of any possible realistic obligations I had with her, take additional minerals daily, eat lots of vegan protein, eat superfoods, watch positive animal and people videos online, but most of all, I really enjoy all the talents I have spent a LIFETIME developing to please and be loved! I have become a good painter, potter, excellent cook, gardener, decorator and total animal lover who still will love and give kindness when I encounter it. I am much more CAREFUL, wise, empathetic, compassionate, imaginative and very creative and give unconditionally when I can. What is NOT to love about an empath?

[@svatisingh1]

Your content is definitely original and very helpful. Another topic idea: could there be a series on what healthy relationships look like? So for those coming out of narcissism, ocd, etc... as we transition, sometimes there's a period of change and isolation... As we emerge into our new selves, what should we expect realistically (ie there will still be problem people in our lives) and what is there to look forward to? if people are coming out of chronic problems, they may not know what healthy looks like - perhaps this is just one video and not a series. Many thanks for your work, it is excellent.

[@MM-op6ys]

Svati, you are right about the new self emerging. I have chosen to isolate myself from those relationships in which I have been the empath, for a bit at least until I establish a new baseline of self trust and stronger boundaries. Being alone is not hard for me, I am an introvert and regenerate when being by myself anyway, so it feels like a good much needed holiday.

[@orangeziggy599]

This transition period already has a name, it is called "Recovery". This is exactly the same Recovery that people with addictions and 12 step groups aim for. Codependency issues is one topic of Recovery.

[@svatisingh1]

Yes, I've even heard that there are 12 step groups to get over codependency too. Good to know this time has an official name.

[@orangeziggy599]

Recovery from Codependency is the right path to take.

[@quietspace5408]

Yes you nailed it- I have left almost all my jobs being "beaten up" very much abused.

[@zarasmith2427]

God bless you Abdul Saad! In a span of 2 hours, I now have a better understanding as to why I operate the way I do these days. So grateful I found your videos.

[@somebodysfalling]

I have appreciated your viewpoint and your willingness to call it what it is. Self sabotage. Simply by voicing needs clearly, giving up certain expectations, setting better boundaries, I notice I'm treated much better by the narcissists that I do have to have modified contact with. That's proof to me that yes, they do control the bad behavior when they realize what's at stake. Just as I can control my own behavior and do not have to be a "victim" in anything. The parallels between work and personal relationships are eye opening. The giving, giving, giving, and staying in unsatisfactory situations longer than necessary. Thank you again for the information you've shared and best of luck as you grow your following. :)

[@bbtobler]

OMG this is me!!! I do that! I share too much too quickly. THANK YOU!

[@bethanyhumphreys2701]

Something to consider. Often times I wonder how come some people keep to themselves at work. I am a nurse working with social workers and I find that the gossip, manipulation and selfish behavior is very evident. Some people have learned to keep to themselves, but I have a long ways to go. Thank you for your videos. I hope I can retain the information and put it to practice.

[@AndreaWanting]

I as well. Thank you for opening up. Made me realise that I am not stupid for not shutting my mouth and keep to myself. I truly believed that it was me only and I was a foolish person.

[@KarmasAbutch]

You have to play really dumb and really uninteresting from the get go... so they dont even consider you worthy of their hierarchy or gossip posse to begin with... unfortunately you cant really switch it up in the middle. Unless you come back after a long stress leave ... then you can.

[@David-ei1fs]

Wow. After years of learning, this is the most intense insight Ive ever seen. You hit all points in the head....Thanks!

[@mariesprowl2348]

I’m blown away by how insightful you are. I’m an empaths with Fibro/Chronic Fatigue and you are very original. I subscribed to you a while back but find myself not watching any of my narc abuse vids. But today I came back when your video popped up and it was so accurate that I’m now going back and watching some of your prior videos. Thank you for your keen understanding of empaths and how we operate. I’ve been narc free for decades but I’m still observing how I interact with friends and the world around me. Porous energy field as you have mentioned. I do read psychology articles on empaths , but no one has explained what I experience like you have. Thank you ! I have a lot to ponder.

[@laketolbert866]

Thank you! I am supportive of you uploading a series on narcissism in society. As I learn about the topic so well from you, and observe the news at the same time, I have an increased interest in the subject, especially as it relates to world leaders. Thank you!

[@terrijamison9154]

As a 64 year old empath I made all those mistakes in my younger years. Have learned the hard way and much more careful now

[@neoseyes]

Your connection to spirit is your strength that other youtubes on this topic dont have

[@juliafiful]

a series on narcissism affecting society would be great!! Including the topic on how the narcissists can be dealt properly in order to create a more respectful society. Thanks for these great videos, I just started watching them and can't stop :-)

[@nyinyibito1757]

Imagine learning all this informative Information free on you tube! May God bless you Sir! The heaven is smilling over you! You were born to save life. Thank you soooo much!

[@susandrydenhenderson6234]

This is by far the best summary I’ve heard on this subject: complete, accurate, practical, kindly and concise.

[@hotcoconutsmilk5]

These five points are just very spot on. I'll keep them in mind. Looking forward to watching your future videos about narcissism in leader roles, religions, educations, and on social media. Thank you, Dr. Saad.

[@crhaizypaints3464]

You are describing my life as if you spent it in my pocket. I can't even express words of gratitude for the things you teach. Thank you! 💜

[@jasonmckenzie3354]

Thanks a million for sharing this, this was extremely insightful. Sadly though, I'm guilty of everything you listed. In my last job, I just got so fed up that I literally walked off and never looked back; and no, I didn't have a plan, a house, or any money in the bank to live off. I guess that's another thing that empaths do; they BLOW UP! I'm shifting away from my former habits though. My prayer life has been my source of strength going through this. Grateful for what you shared sir, good luck.

[@veronicasmith1460]

Jason McKenzie I did the same thing!!! I went on FMLA. Then resigned. I had it. But, now I have to deal with health problems that came on due to toxic job stress.

[@andreasleonlandgren3092]

Self awareness is key you Will be treated as you allow.

[@TheAngiepangie424]

I can't believe the Serendipity of coming across your videos today, especially the one on covert narcissism. I have been binging on your videos for a couple of hours and it's been more helpful than years with my old therapist. Thank you so much!

[@Lisa-hj3nc]

I noticed from the very first video that I watched today on your channel that you are very authentic.It was nothing like I have heard before. Includes more specific psychological detail, pin pointed symptoms, feelings, emotions and struggles that survivors of narcissistic abuse face and so on point with what I know based upon what I have experienced these last 3 years. VERY EDUCATIONAL AND VERY NEEDED at this time. I just realized yesterday (thru the help of God) that I am stuck due to severe childhood shame. I was very surprised to know that PRIDE was also another reason after watching your video. 1 thing I don't understand is why my ex-husband continues to contact me every 4 weeks or less for the past year after our divorce begging for me to take him back? I cut off all communication except my work number that cannot be changed (I don't answer most times if I know it's him calling). We were together 20 yrs so I assume it's because I must have been such easy bait for him. I am so glad I stumbled across your channel today as I have learned a lot already. God bless You!

[@chm825]

The mysterious way the universe works for you!

[@rhondamarshall4152]

I think some of your insights are very helpful. It's almost as though the harder we try to get others to like us, the more they pull away. I think we have to accept ourselves for who we are.

[@samira8417]

Love how rooted in intelligence and empath centered rather than narcissist centered your videos are. Also how concise and factual rather than emotional stroking of the target... thumbs up all the way! 😊

[@Supernidyastar78]

thanks for your input I immediately saw myself in these very valid points I overshare and I'm afraid to disobey any order at my workplace no matter how unfair or unrelated to my duties.

[@JW-wu9vx]

I like your practical and pragmatic way of communicating, very easy to learn from.

[@sabrinacasey2641]

Nailed it. I wish I had known this earlier in life. Prepared now, because what is exposed can be dealt with. Thank you and God bless you!

[@agirlandaphone4625]

It's crazy just how accurate you are with the things you describe about us, as Empaths - down to the detail. Thank you.

[@trudibentley1445]

It took me a while to realize that co-workers weren't as closeof friends as I felt them to be. I am now more private, keeping my abilities to myself. Thank you, I realized so much more from this video.

[@TabbyCallaghan]

I just wanted to say your videos have been so comforting for me I recently had a severe panic attack preceded by a period of heightened stress and frustration and repressed anger and the feeling of Powerlessness to do anything about any of it. Thank you

[@marko651]

Narcissists on society would be good series to do and i would look forward to those videos . Your content is accurate and easy to digest , thank-you for these videos .

[@tanalawrence2721]

After all the years of counseling (etc) this video has just changed my life. SERIOUSLY. The workplace issues describe my situation perfectly and I can't thank you enough. I will know how to handle the next job (as I have alienated myself as I have shared too much; and now have to find a new job),

[@Jocepos]

Absolute gold - spot on!

[@TriciaRosechild]

Abdul, thank you so much for your sharing your work and wisdom with us. I really appreciate your professionalism, ethics and commitment to spreading factual information about such delicate topics. I especially love how you end each video with "God willing". You set a great example :)

[@vitalmindcoaching]

Thank you so much. Important to live by our values.

[@Pattiehorwitzart]

I could listen to information on empathy and narcissists all day everyday. Thank you so much!!!! It's empowering to hear this!!!! Keep them coming! Don't let this be the end. Lol

[@Meira750]

#4 applies to me. I always belived I should do my best and I did. It always resulted in my being fired because I "didn't fit in" and "distrupted the dynamic in the workplace." These people who fired me consistently told me I was the best they ever had and wished they had more like me but I was intimidating the others. The last job I ever bothered having, I went to work in an upscale department store. The first day on the floor, I was the top sales person in the place. Unfortunately, management seems to think announcing such things is "motivation." WRONG! It is a huge resentment builder. It's just not in my nature to do less than the best I can and I'm good at sales because I am an empath and connect with the customers.

[@joanhenry650]

Thank you for your series on the empath dynamic it is has been very eye opening and sobering at times. As you stated there is just not this content in many of the videos. It has been very good and I can apply it to my own recovery as a daughter of a Narcissistic Mother. Great knowledge and Wisdom.. Thank You! I will continue to watch for your videos.

[@vitalmindcoaching]

Thank you, Joan. These videos are my way of making a contribution.

[@tulrob]

That is scary how I hit every one of your 5 dynamics... Wow. Great video

[@zofiajaneczek184]

It is very true, we do tend to stay in crappy jobs way longer than needed because we don't see the abundance that actually exists. We also overshare in the work place and in life in general which makes us a huge target. The oversharing in my opinion is conditioning from being with any narcissistic personality for a long period of time. I would also like to point out that empaths are conditioned by a narcissistic person to be non alpha in most settings. This means we may be more timid in a work environment than is needed nor good for us. We may not succeed or do well in all careers/jobs as I imagine most of us are introverted by nature. I believe jobs that are super stressful or a sensory overload might be problematic or jobs where there is high competition with other coworkers. I am highly curious, what jobs would be best for empaths that don't pay horribly low wages? Would love to hear anyone's thoughts on this.

[@corinaweber9014]

Maybe being a writer?

[@caramelbilquees]

Zofia Janeczek you should be a councillor, or school adviser, or school teacher

[@orangeziggy599]

America favors extroverted, "type a" personalities.

[@zofiajaneczek184]

Thanks for the feedback, at this point in my life, I'm very likely an ambivert or an extroverted introvert. Neither one of those really fit the extroverted "Type A" group. The question is here, do many others fit outside of "Type A, extrovert" but pretend to be just that to conform to society and to find/fit into better jobs? You really can't make a square peg fit into a round hole, you might get close but it will never be so.

[@orangeziggy599]

Zofia, I think that most people who are introverted or highly sensitive types have to try to fit into extroverted type jobs and careers, unless they are lucky enough to find something that allows them more privacy.

[@henryzamora6867]

First and foremost thank you! I am blessed to have come across your videos- you have hit the nail on the head on more than a few topics I'm dealing with my narcissistic ex. 2015 I got in a relationship with a narc at work- what started as a fling (I didn't know then what I know now and am still researching more on narcissistic personality disorder) ended up her getting pregnant only 2 months after meeting her- I was an easy target. Long story short, we now have 50/50 custody of our 2yr old boy after a dreaded fight where I represented myself she retained counsel. Since we met at work- and I'm somewhat close/known in my dapartment- I shared my ordeal with a few which 1.5yrs later I wish I never had. I carry a social stigma of a failed relationship and the bad reputation my narc ex triangulated against me. I was sort of an open book with colleagues I don't even associate with anymore. I mistook them as "friends" which they never were more that just coworkers. I feel like I have lost respect to a certain degree now that my slate isn't clean. How do we overcome this? I need to stop being an open book.

[@Sovereignsoul1009]

Keep doing what you are doing and thank you ever so much for your work it has helped immensely. Much gratitude for the specific information and suggestions. Love the zinc and magnesium information!! Your perspective is amazingly accurate and I am curious as to what you define as healthy boundaries and any suggestions in how to maintain them. That would be much appreciated. Thank you again.

[@ursulamuller6440]

Kristie Eilers I share your opinion completely Kristie. Thanks a lot, Abdul!

[@alevtinawondering1121]

Good idea to explore the topic of boundaries and practical ways to maintain them!

[@AdrianaGonzalez-zu3bo]

To be able to touch your own wounded Self in order to retrieve this knowledge with your level of equanimity and peace is inspiring to me. Thank you Doctor for helping me remove such powerful veils 👐🏽

[@leannhoward7306]

I do recognize that your content is original and I greatly appreciate that, it gives me new hope and a different angle to approach this problem that continuously plays out in my life.

[@rhondaporro877]

I sure could have benefited from your wisdom 40+ years ago- non the less, the personal insight is GREATLY APPRECIATED now. Please keep on sharing your knowledge- You are a superb communicator!! Much obliged- Ronnie

[@jillyoung1282]

My life for the past 13 years to a Tee! Thankfully, I’ve lasted that long in my job! Still happy, semi retired now. What I have found so valuable about your videos, more content about me, the empath, and less about the nasty narc. A million thanks. 👏👏👏👏

[@prahslra]

“... the empath, who believes their needs are not legitimate...” Yes! You hit the nail on the head here. When I was very young my mother told me the story of the Elizabethan Sir Philip Sidney, who was mortally wounded on the battlefield, and when he was offered water, declined it, pointing to his page boy and saying “His needs are greater than mine.”

[@Shawndrea]

No one has been able to give me the insight to help myself live a better life. Thank you

[@karenhartman9774]

This talk was invaluable to me. You do indeed offer fresh content. I haven’t found this counsel, this exact advice I most needed to hear, in perhaps a hundred hours of listening to KZbin on the empath/narcissist dynamic. Maybe I just missed this subject. My profound appreciation. Also for the information on mineral supplementation. Many thanks 🙏.

[@kukamukies]

I've only just come across your videos but found this one very helpful. In an extremely toxic workplace (lots of clique behaviour, bullying, etc.) as an empathic person I found it very difficult to take and seemed to attract the other empathic people who were also subject to the toxic behaviours of most of the staff. We did tend to use each other for emotional support, without any way to change the situation as you articulated in your video which probably was a bit unhealthy. Unfortunately most of them ending up getting sacked for spurious reasons but it was interesting that the people I most connected with were just as beaten down by the environment as I was. Though it was an industry I really wanted to work in I quit after a year as there was no possibility for advancement and I couldn't stand the environment anymore to continue in the (below minimum wage) role I was employed in. Which ties into your fourth point, as I was always taught that hard work is rewarded but clearly I have to be much more assertive in the future as it doesn't seem to pay off for me the way I've approached it in the past!

[@nadjadavidson411]

Your videos are so helpful, thank you for your work. I was a bit of a push-over at the beginning of my professional career but managed to develop self-confidence and a healthy amount of assertiveness. Receiving a paycheck at the end of the month provided me with the external praise I was constantly seeking. Everything changed when I became a stay-at-home mom and "lost" my income and monthly praise. I would pick up all the neighborhood kids and take them and mine to the playground. The other moms never reciprocated, which, as you mentioned left me very annoyed and resentful. Of course, I didn't understand the dynamics at the time. I put myself out for everybody to receive praise to the point of complete burnout. It took me four years to rebuild my health.

[@lo-fidreamsASMR]

Oh my goodness...this is my entire life lol. Very good to know that this is basically a known blueprint. Switching gears asap!

[@rhondascocos4307]

I just found your site and want to thank you very much for your fresh insights! Your messages are speaking to areas in my life I've been dealing with for decades but have seldom found the practical, applicable points I'm hearing here. I've bookmarked and subscribed to your site and hope you are still posting these short video clips. Thank you for faithfully sharing your insights.

[@academicsurvival3603]

Yes, very original content with practical focus. Extremely helpful. Thank you!

[@thangvu7369]

Yes sir, your content is very original, concise and constructive. To me, your videos are less about sugar coating and validating the behaviors of emapths; boosting empaths' self-esteem temporarily. Your content is more about raising the awareness on the maladaptive and self-sabotaging behaviors of the empaths. That way empaths can make REAL changes in their lives and not fall victim to their own egotism or at the hands of the narcissist. Keep up the good work sir. Thank You.

[@agelessvictory]

Wow! This is 100% true. Thanks for posting these helpful and insightful videos.

[@eileenglynn2698]

Love love love love your work. It is straight to the point, extremely accurate and has dramatically changed my life. I have learned how to create boundaries, and provide the love and protection from abuse that my loved ones and I deserve.

[@Susanne-B.]

This channel is highly recommended. Thank you. - I'd learned that by working with men, to seperate work and private life, they takes that much more often for granted than women. ...and it's healthy.

[@donestpheurst3148]

I subscribe. One more empath in the group ! You know what you are talking about! I am living that.

[@Libra5829]

you are so dead-on in my case. Thanks for some good self-awareness enlightenment!

[@ManicMercurianAstrology]

So im supposed to simultaneously detach myself from the results of what i say but also dont share too much? Ive found im quiet at work and that in itself creates negative tension with people and im not sure why

[@KarmasAbutch]

Yep this has gotten people bullied in my workplace

[@Meira750]

Yeaa, if you're an american, and especially a woman working with women, it labels you as not a team player. Sure way to get sacked just before your probationary period ends.

[@beautydefined1601]

You have to find a way to be balanced depending upon the environment. You have to present yourself as polite and respectful, but having boundaries and knowing when to walk away from people and situation.

[@Varykino1917]

Thank you Dr. Saad - another amazing video! I used to go to therapists going back to the seventies - none of them touched on the information - therapeutic information - that you share so generously! Thank you very much! You asked in the video for subject matter for future videos. And I am incredibly aware that I do self sabotage - not deliberately, but it feels as if my subconscious is in more control than my conscious mind. Maybe that might be a topic - how our subconscious drives us, how we can regain control, and why do we self sabotage.

[@svatisingh1]

Another excellent video, please do keep creating them, whenever you have the time :)) Best wishes from London.

[@ferrivera7159]

You’re truly a blessing. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge.

[@JesusSaves77799]

Such awesome videos on empaths and narcissists. I really appreciate them. Looking forward to the ones you said you might do on narcissists in the workplace and in the “helping” professions. Thanks!!

[@hilaryswan4323]

Thankyou. What youve described resonates with me. Its really useful to see myself from this perspective. Its a pattern of behaviour thats difficult to break especially as I have lost sight of what my own needs are. Food for thought.

[@Wilcosach]

Of all the KZbin I've watched you're the best sir and by a league. Thanks for this - Getting even is futile. It is more worthwhile to work on your vulnerabilities.

[@sasanka207]

Mr. Saad, I have watched so many videos to make sense of things...but I have to say yours are so extremely spot on, and the best I have found. You present the issues with such precision and clarity. I did everything you describe, ouch. Thank you for the invaluable insights. If I succeed to correct the attitudes and behaviours, it will be a lifesaver both in my work life, and also in my personal relationships. May the Lord bless your work. Please consider doing a video on narcissist in religion...Encountering a narcissist in church setting is so dangerous for a young woman. Because of being an empath, the teachings can be easily misunderstood and misapplied to a longterm harm such as marriage. It happened to me. Also being narcissisticaly abused by a peer/friend who acts so religious and is popular, can be so very confusing, and takes a big toll before one sees what is going on. I thought I was being a good Christian by 'taking it' and patiently waiting for them to change. Of course now I know that there can be wolves in wool sitting in a pew. I think there might be many people who would badly need your insight and advice for this situation. Thank you :)

[@wallafilm]

This video just summed up the last 15 years of my work life. So much sacrifice at a job that was ultimately met by my superiors by saying what I did was "easy" and "anyone could do it." But I was the only one who would ever step up because I felt it was the right thing to do.

[@EricOmand]

Excellent video. The main takeaway that I got was simply always enforce my healthy boundaries. At the beginning this can be scary, however, learning is say no is vital. The worst thing that happens is you immediately get discharged. In any type of relationship in life it would be much better to find this out sooner rather than later. Any relationship worthy of your time, energy, value, resources, etc. will respect this. Saying no (or certainly saying I will think about it and get back to you) very often rapidly reveals the intentions of the person asking you to do something and will keep the right people at a distance.

[@David-ei1fs]

Regarding other videos, I do find you "original" , but actually I would call you "unique". I began researching Narcissism and Empathy by accident, after a mysteriously failed long term friendship, and have watched many videos by many people. They are all very good, but you do take it to an amazing level of insight that hits right between the eyes....and I appreciate the videos on Empaths, and making us look at ourselves, however uncomfortable, and not be victims to Narcissists. . Thank you for your unique style.

[@jeanlittle405]

Yes, I have made all these mistakes as an empath in the workplace. Lesson learned...the hard way!! Thank you very much for all your efforts.

[@deenique3112]

Thank you so much .through your channel. I hv discovered who I am and it has given me clear insights of what has been going on in my life.May God bless you.continue doing more vedios ❤❤

[@dolphinoela]

Dear Mr. Saad, I wish I have discovered your channel years ago :) Thank you for sharing all this knowledge. Grateful for your generous help. I am now watching one video after another. Also appreciating the shorter blocks so that each content can be well thought about. Best regards!

[@riteasrain]

Exactly my experience just prior to retirement. Thankfully quit a few jobs due to my self awareness of what I was doing to myself. Thanks for your clarity 👍

[@bbtobler]

Looking forward to your next series. Smart and healing for us wounded children.

[@juliannavince6776]

I have a very anxious view of the world. Too much trauma. I really needed to hear this. TY

[@Oilofmercy]

I'm a nutritionist with a BA psych. I find your work interesting as I contemplate what masters degree to do. We all want to be well. Thanks for your videos.

[@Seansaighdeoir]

I wished I would have found this 15 - 20 years ago. Wonderful stuff and so insightful.

[@GMpiece]

Wow🙏🏿 This is so true for the workplace. You’re amazing. God bless🙌🏿

[@marelena4297]

Can you do a video on how to stop idealizing men we see as potential partner's, just to stop the fantasy of this time my needs are gonna be met and I will be loved etc.... I'm a recovering emphat from a narcissist mother and it has been difficult for me to create healthy relationships with partner's, I'm getting better but still fantasize a lot sometimes.

[@lornocford6482]

That's about self partnering (self love and independence). I think you are looking outside of yourself to get your needs met that you are supposed to meet for your self. Melanie Tonia Evans and Lisa A. Romano are very good for this. I'm recovering from a narcissistic mother too, I get what you mean. Good luck in your continued recovery.

[@at5286]

Omg yes! I constantly idolize their potential and ignore their reality! Its constantly putting me in situations where Im unhappy and stuck to a dude 🙈

[@bellakrinkle9381]

marelena having experienced this type of male- female relationship myself, enduring tremendous emotional pain, I'd suggest you learn to respect yourself and do not allow your mother to manipulate you to satisfy her needs. Empaths are too willing to have too much empathy for others and little for themselves. You utube has many educational videos to warn of red flags to look for. Try to stay out of relationships until you get stronger with respecting yourself alone.

[@Obliv69]

spartan life coach is a good one, aswell as shiela robinson-kiss

[@norallthetime5690]

I’ve never in my entire life said this heartfelt Thank you!🙏 except perhaps less than a few with a clear, empathetic FREE message to whoever is watching, without stupid human 🤢 frontiers.

[@sarahkittelson622]

There you go again...talking about me : / Yes I've learned a lot about how differently I would do things now in the work place. You hit all the points, and they are all important, so I hope other empaths will listen and learn. for their own success in the workplace. Thank you so much for your excellent video's; they are so accurate and helpful!! Keep up the excellent work and information : ) We need this guidance in the world of extroverts and narcissists.

[@evelynmae1390]

Thank you for your videos Abdul. I’m really enjoying your original view points especially on the topics of Empaths and Narcissists. This video is such a relevant topic and I look forward to seeing more of your content. Thanks again.