5 worst money habits that I've had💡Soviet & post-Soviet heritage

[@neginsarrami7909]

My dad came from a well-off family, before they lost everything in the war in Iran a few decades ago. My dad has been the equivalent of Scrooge to us growing up, and has been this way even though he makes a decent income. I've become this way too. Not towards other people so much as towards myself, though I'm sure he would say the same. I have been frugal to the point where if I lost my job, I would preemptively move into my car and declutter all my things, so that I don't have excess burden. I've spent a lot of my 20s homeless, because living in my car short-term was so hard on me, And so traumatic, that I think I perpetuated more trauma and ended up staying in my car even longer. Trauma begets trauma though, and I would have stayed in my car less had I not been in such a scared, desperate headspace... probably wouldn't have moved into my car at all. My 20s have been extremely rough because of my own frugality. I turned 30 almost a year ago, and midlife crisis has hit me strong. I just had a sudden realization that like many others in their 20s, I did not go to the beach with my friends or dance, or even read or relax. I didn't sit and feel the ease of small moments. It's just been one struggle after the next. And now, I make an effort to stay with and budget, but I pay for the extra conveniences that make life a little bit easier. To me they are luxurious, whereas I think for a lot of other people they are a given. The crazy thing is, just like my dad, I worked insanely hard to finally have a high income. Really harmed myself to get to this point, and now even though I earn well, it's a huge undertaking to work through these mental pathways. I've also definitely spent way too much time on Facebook marketplace, craigslist, etc not just so that I can find a good deal, but so that I can reduce my impact on the environment. A couple weeks ago I just deleted Facebook altogether, and that's been life-changing. You lose so much time in the effort of being frugal. And being frugal kind of has this crazy effect on you where because you think you don't have enough, you're constantly looking for more, which probably makes you spend much more than you need to ironically. We don't need to spend so much time looking for stuff. We need that time. I hope anyone who can relate to this video or my comment finds some healing. You deserve ease, an uncluttered space, and stability, the kind that you find in your heart and less in a house or with things.

[@anagoldberg]

Dear Negin, I hope your message will reach many people here. It's a very deep, personal, and impactful sharing. Thank you. It touched me so much ❤️

[@wilmabrock5462]

It was very touching indeed. I wish you all things good in your thirties!!

[@MyLifeInTheDesert]

What a great video. I grew up poor and when I started making decent money I spent everything I had buying things to prove I was “successful” and spending a lot of money going to restaurants. I am only now in my 40’s trying to fix this. I notice my friends who grew up wealthy are much smarter with their money.

[@anagoldberg]

Poverty background can definitely trigger excessive spending... I've been through this too.

[@saramm3765]

It feels so good when you can finally say yes to things, eating out, buying activities, buying stuff whenever you feel like it after having to say no to ourselves for so long and feeling like we can't have those things. I totally have been this way too and am also in my early 40s. I'm always battling that desire.

[@Priyanka-chendekaar]

I have the same problem

[@SchneppFlute]

I grew up in comfortable circumstances where my parents never talked to me about money. I wasn't someone who wanted all the latest things, but if I needed something, I could get it. This situation kept me oblivious to what things actually cost, and also to the fundamental idea that working a job was actually a way to exchange my time and freedom for goods. I didn't make that connection until I was in college and then wondered why my small wages from part-time jobs weren't enough to get me everything I had been used to having! I finally learned about store brands and saving and budgeting after I got married. Fortunately, my husband was very good at being frugal and we never went without something we really needed. Now I almost feel like I'm overly frugal just from long years of practice. And yet I'm constantly enticed by advertising and wanting to rush to buy something without really thinking it through. Maybe this will always be my struggle because even today I have a difficult time understanding what things really cost in terms of how much of my life I have to trade for that buying power. Thanks so much for your insights, Ana!

[@anagoldberg]

Thank you for sharing such insightful experience, Gayle! Understanding the real value and cost of money is challenging regardless of a background...

[@otterwench]

So many echoes sounding within me now. The belief that I am lazy (from my childhood, we worked very hard, my first job was at age 12 working in farm fields) came up hard against my reality as I became more and more disabled physically. I then had a long cycle of overworking in the ways left to me (handwork, designing, writing) and it transformed what was enjoyable into tedious, harmful actions. (my hands also became disabled from repetitive motions) Finding balance is so precious. I also fight with buying too many things for a false sense of security. Thank you for this video, much food for thought.

[@vitamartynyuk611]

Wow, my great grandfather was also considered a kulak and sent to a work camp. I am always so fascinated by any discussion related to 20th century russian history and how it shaped contemporary culture.

[@Jacquie_Kirk_111]

I relate. I grew up in devere poverty. My mom did not have the money to stock our pantry. It was always bare. It drove me to work so hard to get out of poverty. I funded my entire 6 years of university myself, didnt geta penny from my mom because she couldn't afford it. I do have ladting damage from growing up in scarcity. Great video

[@belindagritter1572]

One thing really rang true to me personally. I think I may have a fear of having money and not knowing what to do with it. In spending it, I relieve myself of the pressure of having to make a decision about it in the future. Interesting. I never thought of it before but as soon as you said it, I felt fear in my heart. This is something I have to overcome. Thank you. I have overstocked too in the past but now it's only a few non-perishable items like toilet paper that I keep stocked. I am learning. I have experienced the throwing out because something got bad when it got too old. We live and we learn but I am learning this very late in life.

[@lilianpoberezny4933]

My parents were born in Poland. They came over to the UK shortly after the war ended. I remember a pantry that was incredidbly well stocked in the 1960's. My mum would go from shop to shop to see if something was a few pennies cheaper. If washing powder was on offer somewhere she would buy quite a few packets.I think this all stemmed from not having enough in Poland. As you say everyone is different with their spending habits. Thank you for sharing yours. xx

[@anagoldberg]

Thank you for sharing your background, dear Lilian ❤️Indeed, once experienced, scarcity has such a great impact on our habits.

[@lilibrik2]

My mum has this habit and I (second generation after the war) have this habit of overstocking and cannot get rid of it. I feel insecure, when I don't have a least one bottle of oil, package of flour, pasta, canned tomatoes, milk etc. stored...

[@katepavelle9465]

My family came to the USA from Czechoslovakia when I was 14. I soon realized that I knew nothing about money-and that my parents didn’t either. The frugality, the overstocking, I struggle with it even decades later. I am glad that my kids had basic financial education in high school, and I tried hard not to pass my bad habits on.

[@Kristel280]

I am from Estonia. I know what you are talking about.

[@mandy6062]

Not related to the video but you are aging in reverse or maybe even not at all. You look so healthy! Happy to see you thriving.

[@TenaciousP]

Windfall might be a good alternative word in English - I really enjoy your content.

[@pameehanson3866]

I also thought of the word to “Jip” or “Con” something out of someone are words that came to mind. May depend upon which area of US you live in 😵‍💫

[@ChrisSaenz13]

Hi Ana - oh wow I relate SO strongly to these habits! Especially overstocking and overworking (fear of the dreaded lazy label particularly). I recently had the insight that even in my hobbies I over-stock (relatively drastically) and I think it's traces of scarcity mindset breaking thru and causing me to think that one day whatever I may have for supplies may need to last forever ... because I might not have "enough" money. In the food/supply area I have learned hard lessons about spoilage due to trying to stockpile/"prep". However, we live in a hurricane area and I have to find the balance because we can expect to have power outages and slow supply chain during/after a bad storm. Finding the good reasonable levels are challenging. Both of my parents grew up in quite tight situations/families money wise. Dad even had to quit high school to drive a truck and earn money at age 16 when his Dad was temporarily disabled. They were both extremely driven and hard working to the point that honestly I was afraid to be caught sitting down reading and relaxing ... it seemed like some kind of a sin. Unless my Dad was maybe asleep on the couch or something. He worked all the time and was on call a lot. They were managing on just his income and my Mom did big gardens, everything old school cooking wise and stuff ... ! Still, looking back we were so rich. We had a house and vehicle and they had zero debt. They created what people now are trying to go back to. But, somehow those old mindsets of extreme frugality (where it becomes toxic) they break thru at unexpected times and I find myself just being ridiculous. I've found myself on either extreme .... overstocking like a fiend or being extremely over frugal. Last week I was struggling because I needed a haircut. I have given myself haircuts a few times ... all during COVID I did it ... but my hair was longer then and easier to simply draw forward to trim it. I was being so ridiculous because we had the money and there is a place very close where they know me and do a good job even though I rarely go more than once or twice a year. My husband finally said: there is NO reason for you not to go get a real haircut! Let's go! He reminded me of the hundreds $ I save us by cutting his hair and said he would gladly like me to spend the $ for my haircut because he in no way feels qualified to do it. LOL I'm 60 and still learning to release old limiting habits. :) This is such a great topic!!!!!

[@anagoldberg]

Hi Chris ❤️Love your sharing! So many common points although our backgrounds are quite different. And haha, I can perfectly relate to the haircut situation 😅Thank you, dear friend!

[@pansyflowerboy]

This one was so relatable. I grew up in poverty, and I had a lot of trauma around money and scarcity. In my younger years I didn't have enough money even for healthy food, and I simply did not buy anything no matter how much I needed it. This carried over into times when I did have enough to meet my basic needs, but buying anything that was not essential gave me intense anxiety. My partner had an opposite financial strategy, they had the money burning a hole in your pocket attitude. 😂Over the years we have balanced each other out in a very positive way. They've become more considerate in their spending habits, and I've learned how to spend money without having a panic attack. I still have some scarcity issues and I'm especially prone to stocking up on food. Now I focus on buying few but high quality items, however now I worry that people will judge me for having "fancy" things when I am poor. There's a lot to work through! It's a lifelong process I think. I try to have self compassion, money is just a tool as you say. It's not a moral failing to not be perfect in your spending. I just do the best that I can. ❤

[@anagoldberg]

I get your struggles well, Lanen! And also wish to learn to spend "without having a panic attack", ha 😅And more expensive items, yes! Indeed, the process is long and requires constant attention and self-reflection, otherwise it's so easy to fall back into those mindsets. Sounds like your partner and you are a perfect match, supporting each other's growth, it's the best 😍

[@goodkarma3321]

I was brought up with my mother’s saying: Save some, spend some. My father didn’t make much money at all. I was brought up in the 1950’s and 1960’s when cash was the only method of payment. My mom would get my father’s paycheck and divide the money into envelopes: rent, food, gas for the car, etc. Never saw one for entertainment but I did see she would always put som cash in an envelope for savings and she managed to get to the bank during that month. I can’t say I am frugal, but I work on the premise that savings in the bank is not there and only depend and consider the monthly income as what I work with for my expenditures and bills. That keeps me in line and I never overbuy(except maybe purchases for family members at holiday time and I wouldn’t even consider that overbuying, maybe spending more for quality items.)

[@kat_thefruitbat]

“I haven’t figured things out yet. I’m just in the process.” ❤ This is how we should all approach life and the many challenges it poses. We don’t need to be perfect. We just need to be aware of ourselves and others, so that we can adjust the way we are living and impacting others + the world. I love the gentle way you practice and encourage being mindful of our ability and responsibility to have self awareness and evaluate what is working vs. what is not working in all aspects of life. ❤

[@Maude-r9f]

Wow,Ana,this was a very powerful video.The connection between money and our sense of self esteem runs so deep,doesn't it,that it can be difficult to parse out what is what. I can't even write a coherent comment,you have brought up so much to think about here. I did realize something important while wondering why everything you said in this video disturbed me so much (not in a totally bad way) that I literally couldn't formulate a comment.I won't share it because it's about extreme child exploitation (of me),but thank you for helping me to make the connection in a way that I can consciously process between what was done to me and what I now do to myself,in terms of constantly feeling as if I simply don't deserve prosperity. Which is subconscious,like you said,and is like an undertow that is constantly sucking me down,although consciously and rationally,I have always wanted financial well being. I didn't grow up in poverty,but was used as a child to make money for adults.All I wanted from the age of four was to get out of there and get away from them.I convinced my grandfather to open a savings account for me when I was five and every single bit of money I managed to keep for myself went into that savings account.I was able to be disciplined- I never bought fripparies with that money because my eventual escape was more important than some momentary indulgence. I don't have a problem with over spending or under spending now that I'm an adult.I also have my moon in Taurus,which is a blessing,because it gives me emotional stability.I can be frugal and I can also spend for pleasure without going to extremes either way. I ran away from home as a teenager with the funds from my savings account.A one way plane ticket to London.I ended up in Paris.I landed on my feet and was actually very fortunate,considering everything that could have gone wrong...but it's always been like I've been living on the periphery of my own existence.And the crux of that is feeling unworthy of abundance. I am taking steps now to address that,but like you said,it is hard to pinpoint subconscious self undoing or self disrespect or I suppose,self abnegation. Ancestral trauma absolutely has much to do with it.Especially when our ancestors had to suck up their suffering instead of pause to process it; and to continue their lives as best they could. Which resulted in the issues being passed to the next generation. Anyway,thank you again for another fascinating and thought provoking video. You are awesome ❤

[@anagoldberg]

Dear Maude, I can feel from your comment the intensity of your inner work and realizations. And I'm glad that the video brought up some important insights. From my own experience I know how painful it can be, but once you have the courage to face it and walk through it, the relief is gigantic. I'm so sorry you had to go through such an awful situation being so young... Ugh. Your resilience is as strong as your mind and your heart❤️Thank you for sharing, it means a lot.

[@Maude-r9f]

Thank you for your compassion,Ana. I'm sorry that you have also experienced the type of pain that is so difficult to confront.I agree with you that the relief after doing so is gigantic! Great word for it :) When you have trauma related issues,people will tell you : "Just go to a therapist",as if competent, fully trauma informed therapists can be found anywhere,at any time,and with affordable rates 😅 I have my own horror stories about looking for one until I finally found a fairly decent one. I want to share a resource for anyone reading this who is dealing with family trauma.But this is your channel after all and you are the pilot flying it,so if it's inappropriate, feel free to remove my comment. Patrick Teahan is a trauma informed therapist who has a channel on utube with many vids about reparenting our damaged inner child.He is also a survivor of a toxic family system. The kind of therapist I wish that I had found,but never did.His style is no BS,counseling taking responsibility while also tending to our wounds.He also posts motivational shorts to keep us on track and to remind us that we deserve to heal and can do so with the proper tools. I still have work to do,but I think that I have turned a corner.It's been a long time coming. After a nice shift at work the other day,it occurred to me that I simply like all of my coworkers.I don't feel threatened by any of them.I don't feel diminished by any of them.I enjoy working with them. For example,I was in a managerial position in my last job,before I struck out on my own."Manager memory" is like muscle memory-you just do it reflexively. I have caught myself organizing and delegating tasks without deferring to my main supervisor first,who is also a woman. I've been catastrophising in my own mind that I have "alienated" her by being too take charge on her turf.She must "hate" me for that etc ,projecting my own psychodrama onto the poor woman. The other day,she handed me a bag of nectarines, saying to me, "Here,I bought some especially juicy nectarines and I thought of you,because you said you like them" We had had a chit chat about our favorite seasonal fruits over two weeks ago. I was so touched that she remembered and that she thought of me. A peace offering,from her and from the universe,in a way. To stop tripping so much on my trauma; a salient reminder that the world I inhabit now is no longer the nightmare of my childhood.

[@anagoldberg]

@@Maude-r9f Thank you for sharing the therapist, I will look him up and hope that other viewers here will give it a try as well.

[@anaisdefleur2070]

❤thank you Ana for today's video, very insightful ☺sending lots of love from Warsaw 💚💛💜

[@anagoldberg]

Love back to Warsaw from Tbilisi ❤️

[@amandachapman4708]

Your Russian word reminds me of the saying, "there's no such thing as a free lunch" as either someone else has paid for it, or you are paying for it with your time and attention. I think for me the hardest thing is when I am faced with a multi-buy offer, such as "three for the price of two" or whatever, when I actually just want one thing. Deciding whether to take the offer or not I find difficult for two reasons: first, do I want to spend the extra money now, and second, have I got a space where the extra things can be stored until I need them?

[@kamidsjournee]

Thank you for another incredible video. You definitely have a gift for seeing the depth (control) of something so common (money). I am learning how money is such an abstract thing. It’s like time. The more you have, the more you need. The more you waste, the more you regret. Maybe not everyone feels this way, but it’s becoming clearer to me as I mature.

[@anagoldberg]

It's such a good point to compare time and money! Thank you for being here, dear Kami ❤️

[@JP-nl4dp]

Great video Ana. People always hesitate to talk about money but it’s critical for people to learn. I find it sad that your family lived in fear of money being taken from them. My parents had their own business and made us start working when we were young so that we could learn the value of the dollar, how to save, and how to budget. My parents started with little but became very comfortable with time. I was fortunately smart enough to recognize the education my parents gave me when I was young. Even though the work was hard, I thanked my dad when I was still a teen.

[@gracesimplified3860]

I grew up in the U.S. My parents were always frugal. My mom stayed at home while my dad worked, as a mechanic. Both were young adults during WW2, when things were scarce. My mom always tracked the money. Entertainment was simple, like a picnic in the park or beach. There weren’t vacations, or large purchases. Shopping took place at the 5 and dime, when we might get crayons or construction paper. Books came from the library. A few toys at Christmas. I tend to spend little on myself. I know that the joy of buying something is quickly and greatly diminished once I’ve spent my money. I prefer to have money in the bank for a sense of security and freedom. Where I like to spend money is on experiences and treating others or rewarding someone’s work. I like being able to not be concerned about the price of food. This is something new since being widowed. I no longer feel as if I have to chase prices, because I will have to account for my spending. This was just a feeling because I felt I needed to respect the labor we had put into our finances and our joint goals. Now, regretfully looking back I think we should have been more balanced between security and spending on experiences. I feel very sad that my husband never really enjoyed the fruits of our labor. Nose to the grind stone and penny pinching are values that should be reserved for truly extreme and short term situations, like paying off consumer debt, saving a down payment, or an economic depression, to name a few. I’m grateful that I’m past wanting luxury goods or acquiring something just because it is free.

[@katrinawilson935]

Thought provoking Ana, thank you.

[@maureencasey7500]

Thanks - very thought provoking.

[@Aixopluc_bcn]

I sometimes think twice about buying these eye products (for hidration and to fight inflamation) that I need, as they are 20-25 euro each, which is a lot for me, plus I have to discard them after a month (as it usually happens with eye care products). I completrly empathised with you when you were talking about the incident at the pharmacy. This was a great, emotional video, thank you for creating it, Ana. I love your channel, I have watched it for years but it's only my first time leaving a comment. I will make sure to engage more from now on ❤ Maria from Barcelona

[@anagoldberg]

Thank you for your comment and insights, dear Maria! I'm always happy to connect with community here and know everyone better 🤗 Much love to Barcelona! Brian and I were there once in 2018 and have been cherishing beautiful memories of the city and its people.

[@Aixopluc_bcn]

@@anagoldberg Thank you Ana, and I am so happy that you liked it here :)

[@alberodonaalberodona5888]

Another great video, with profound thoughts and inspirations. Thank you, Ana ♥

[@nyckolaus]

Thank you, Ana.

[@sharonshmuel3386]

Dear Ana i can understand your experiences. Thanks for being so open & honest with us & i hope you achieve financial stability - i never wanted to be rich as that has its own set of anxities !!! I always tell my children live within your means & dont squander your earnings on materialistic trends. Have a lovely week ❤

[@anagoldberg]

Thank you, dear Sharon! You too, have a beautiful week ❤️

[@lllthink]

Thank you 😊

[@summerrain7466]

Your videos always resonate with me, Ana. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

[@anagoldberg]

Thank you for your kind presence here, dear friend ❤️

[@Anita-rq9ev]

Thank you for another interesting topic, it's always a pleasure to listen to your experienes 😊. As you know my parents grew up in the former Soviet Union and once in a while they tell me a bit of how they and my grandparents grew up and how they dealt with their finances or life in general. It's interesting, as I've never been there and grew up differently. I think how we grow up influences our later decisions. Thank you and have a lovely new week 😘

[@anagoldberg]

Thank you for your kind support, dear Anita ❤️ It's so fascinating how we get to grow a certain mindset based on our ancestral experience, actual environment, etc. How everything can get intertwined. I agree with you, our earlier stage of life influeces a lot!

[@hriverin]

Hummm, very interesting…and challenging! Thanks Ana.

[@claudiamueller605]

A wonderful and insightful video, dear Ana! Deep and intelligent. ~ I can understand. Eventhough I live in a rich country (Switzerland), I have been financially poor for most of my life. My immigrant parents grew up during the second world war (F + D), so they both were no wasters, worked hard and lived frugally. I seem to have inherited the existential angst so I also like to stock up just to calm my mind. But I also find it sensible, it has helped me in times of crisis and during the lock downs. This way I had enough capacity to help my parents. If I would have had to worry about me first it would have caused me even more stress. ~ To learn to trust in the flow of life, to feel safe in this world and in this life, to learn that I can help myself and will get help when I need it, is not easy. For me personally my faith has helped me greatly, trusting in God, this wonderful Creator, who loves and cares about me, this brought/brings healing and peace. I still struggle from time to time but then I always go to prayer and it calms me immediately. ~ You're such a beautiful soul, Ana. Thank you for sharing a bit of yourself with us. 🌸Blessings for you and Brian! ~ Claudia

[@anagoldberg]

Thank you for sharing and your kind words, dear Claudia ❤️ Love to Switzerland

[@liammcweeney1674]

Another great video Ana . Have a great day

[@anagoldberg]

Thanks, Liam! You too 🌷

[@alexandrailnyckyj6059]

Thought provoking observations. Thank you.

[@orthodoxalina]

I grew up in Eastern Europe, my parents were very broke in the early 2000's. In result, I grew up an extreme cheapskate, and sometimes I'm so embarrassed of myself, only now learning to part with my hard earned money.

[@etta7082]

Thank you for sharing your personal and family stories in such a vulnerable way. What you said really resonated with me. You’ve given me a lot to think about- I love your videos because I find I mull them over for days afterwards and really think about the topics you raise. Thank you!

[@anagoldberg]

Oh, I'm so glad to read this, Etta! It's the best motivation for me to continue to share. Thank you ❤️

[@pianno55]

Dear Ana, thank you for your honesty. I could identify with a lot of these habits myself, perhaps because I come from Balkans, ehich I think has a very similar mentality to ex Soviet Union countries. The one I am trying to work on now is the habit of spending more the more I earn. I think that it can be caused by me subconsiously thinking that I don't actualy deserve the kind of money I earn. The other problem is scarcity mindset - my family was also financially struggling while I was growing up so there is a part of me that thinks now that I can buy all these expensive stuff, I am finally worth, noone has to know about my background.. I am aware that is awful and I am not in any way ashamed of my family, I know they always did their best. It is just tbat some beliefs are so deeply entrenched at subconcious level that it can take a lot of time to realise what is going on and then try to change that.. I wish you all the best on your journey ❤

[@anagoldberg]

Dear Anja, thank you for sharing your story ❤️Yes, it seems like the Balkans have a very similar ancestral mentality. Changing it is a very slow process, so be kind to yourself 🤗 Wishing you all the best too!

[@dannysmith2794]

Thank you Ana, much appreciated.

[@bettyjo2737]

Great video Ana! I hope you have a wonderful week!

[@tereclemmer7923]

Very interesting video. It opened up an evaluation of my own relationship with money/spending. Thanks!

[@hiroxqv]

спасибо!

[@ilariatremolada379]

Thanks for sharing your honest insights on such a sensitive topic 🙏 it’s been an opportunity to pause and raise awareness on how my background shaped my spending habits ❤

[@anagoldberg]

I'm so glad the video resonated with you, Ilaria ❤️Thank you for being here.

[@ilariatremolada379]

@@anagoldberg ❤️

[@taresy6789pp]

Limit your financial accessibility in return gain financial freedom and control

[@sonia5534]

Dear Ana, I love your videos so much! I' ve "burned my pocket" very in my past as a Teenager and as a young adult and sometimes later. I think because of exactly the reasons you mentioned.....and then phases with extreme frugality.....solution is to be found somewhere in the middle. I' still searching! In this consumerist society its very difficult to find calmness and be happy and thankful with what you have. In my family I learned that spending means happiness. So I did it myself, stupid! That came from my upbringing! But now I find out it's not true! You have given me a few tips in your videos what to do to resist buying. Be creative! Weiter, draw, create, enjoy nature! Where I can find more of your contest, Ana? Greetings from Germany Sonia

[@sonia5534]

Write

[@anagoldberg]

Dear Sonia, indeed, finding a balance is not an easy journey! And I hope yours is smooth and meaningful ❤️ You can find exclusive ad-free videos that I post on Patreon here: www.patreon.com/anagoldberg

[@marylynch2510]

❤❤❤❤

[@angelavandegraaf]

I thougt my parents were wealthy when I was a child...I didn't lack anything and I didn't want much. Now I realise that my parents were not wealthy, they were frugal and my father worked very hard and often worked overtime to support us and beside his job he had alittle land where he grew food and raised a pig that he would butcher come winter. I think I was wealthy than having no burdens. But my parents did also give me an other inheritence and that is due to them living through WW2 and that is that I always think I have to be prepared for bad things to happen...I feel the need to buy stuff, just in case...preparing a bit for lean times is not a problem but I do have to control it...luckely I"ve already learned a lot and I'm not a hoarder 😊

[@mysli_vsluh]

Настя, привет! Узнала себя во всем) Особенно про халяву😂 Про супер экономность поняла, что мне сейчас важнее комфорт среди прочего. Поэтому могу потратить на 40% больше за билет, но при этом будет чисто, и время более подходящее. Но все равно вначале часто внутренний протест из серии, что я деньги лишние зря трачу. И ещё, например, умом понимаю, что такси комфорт намного лучше, никогда после не остаётся негатива. Но при этом не могу ещё свое сознание так расширить, чтобы его вместо эконома заказывать.

[@anagoldberg]

Лена, привет! Даа, я тоже себя порядком перестроила, чтобы себе позволять более комфортные варианты, потому что иначе вдобавок к потраченным деньгам плюсуется неприятный осадочек, раздражение на себя и вообще весь мир))

[@mysli_vsluh]

@@anagoldberg Вот-вот! Спасибо за напоминалку)

[@pamelajaye]

I have heard of the hyperinflation Where as soon as you get it you should spend it because a couple hours later it will be worth as much or maybe half or less. But I had not heard of this before a few months ago. So that's another reason why money might burn a hole in your pocket as they say in the US. Although I think the origin is different in the US and also I haven't experienced that. My experience is my parents experience. The Great depression in the 1930s when my parents were kids and teenagers. And my mother came from a big family. So everyone was very very frugal. The only thing that seemed to be affordable was to go to the movies on Saturday. This is not something that I do. Movies are expensive and I don't like to watch things in the dark. I can watch things with the lights on. Unless the director is stupid. So my parents didn't have money and when we were growing up we didn't have much money because it cost a lot to live where we did. And when I left home my job didn't pay a lot and when I got married my husband's job didn't pay a lot and I didn't have one cuz I was sick. And there were a couple of brief periods where I could afford both a place to live and a car. Maybe 3 or 4 years? But then I had to move and when I lived with my mother again my not high paying job was good but that was only like 3 years and then she died and I was poor again. But I still had a job. And then I got laid off. And then there were like 15 years were sometimes I had temp jobs and sometimes I had no job. And now I'm retired and I still don't have money but I do have a little bit. Something tells me all of it is going to go for medical things because this is the US. So basically I've been frugal forever and ever and ever. And I've only gotten through a couple minutes of your video. Maybe less. My brother says I have to stop being so frugal but there is no way to be able to figure out what my expenses are going to be, food, medicine, doctors... Especially the medical stuff. No one will tell you in advance and that's new. Okay it's new for me. When I had insurance it was an HMO. Now it'll be 20% of some amount that they will not tell you. So I still can't spend very much money. My brother doesn't understand this at all. But one time he got a boil in his back. And with no insurance it cost him $1,100. That's insane!

[@petravazanska5707]

This is worse than poverty this is injustice and cruelty thats why I will never say that live was good during communism. Not talking about supressing inteligence and even killing intelligent people in order to prefer working class. Sorry I had to say it.🥺 because my family also lived some of this.

[@anagoldberg]

I agree with you, Petra. And I think it's not just communism, but all types of authoritarian and totalitarian regimes...

[@pamelajaye]

Oh and I see maybe from a comment the concept of keeping up with the Joneses. They call it that here. I really don't have that. I really do like to go shopping and I like pretty things but I don't need to compare myself with people. The only thing I found that makes me upset about being poor is that my friend has family photographs that go back multiple generations. And my family doesn't have that because we wouldn't have been able to afford a camera or film. Other families in my town probably had a video camera. I forget what they were called in the '60s. We had an instant camera - a still camera - and a reel to real tape recorder. We couldn't afford those other things. One time my father said "Maybe if you weren't sick all the time we would be able to have some money around here.!" Actually he didn't say it, He screamed it. But I don't know. Maybe he would still be frugal. My mother would spoil us if my father didn't have control of the money. And emotionally, those things were also true. Spending love versus yelling or possibly properly disciplining. There was a little bit of both on one side and on the other side there was more love. But nobody really came out and said I love you. One time my mother told me that I was my aunt's favorite niece and I started to cry because that was her saying that my aunt loved me. It wasn't that my mother didn't love me but she didn't say it. So that was just a rare thing. And it made me really emotional and it's still doing it right this very second Just thinking about it.

[@oneseeker2]

I am a Senior now, I keep some in chking, some in savings, mostly cash, I have come to understand the cash is a safety net of sorts, Cash offers safety nets if ATMs go down, Debit Cards lost, bent, Banks down, and if Election goes poorly and a Dictator is put in office, having cash can get me on a Plane out.

[@wilmabrock5462]

Oh dear that must be a terrible worry!

[@grady4757]

❤❤❤

[@bogusiasymonowicz7649]

The misery of freebies...I got a voucher to a shop, a fast fashion brand, that I don't particularly like...but it's a 'free' money... 3 months later (and 3 returns!!!) I am still scrolling through the website in search of a 'good deal'...I haven't realised this is going to be such a curse for me! However, what I also noticed is that I stopped compromising. I will not wear slightly uncomfortable shoes/ clothes...I just refuse to do it anymore. Have a lovely week my dear Ana!

[@anagoldberg]

The misery of freebies! It's a perfect descriptor of this experience, dear Bogusia 😊 Thank you and you too, have a beautiful week!

[@bogusiasymonowicz7649]

​@@anagoldbergI finally bought school uniforms for my kids today ...not even on sale. Three months of searching for the 'perfect deal' 😅.

[@pamelajaye]

I don't have number three. I never overworked. But sometimes I feel like I am being lazy and people are mad at me and I feel guilty. I don't think that anyone in my family ever overworked on purpose. My brother works sporadically so when he has work he works until he is sick and then... My roommate has a normal job and so did my parents. When I was a kid my mother stayed home and took care of us and my father had two jobs. But I know that there are cultures that are different from yours where people overwork. It seems to be a thing in Japan and I hear it's a thing in the US. People have vacation sometimes and they don't take it. But there are other people who barely have any vacation or one job I had 5 days of vacation and it never got any larger and there were no sick days. Florida is like that. Massachusetts is more balanced. But I don't know, I'm sure there are people who over work in Massachusetts. It doesn't make any sense to me. If I had vacation I would take it. But with the way your country worked, I understand. And I even understand the... What Americans would call maybe five finger discount? Maybe it's a different thing. But I have read about it in books. People getting a subsidy to live and then they get a job and then their relatives yell at them - why are you working? Why are you paying for this when you don't have to? I have seen it at least in a book. Yes it was Russian people from USSR times. All of this is very interesting and the video was very interesting and also, it should be added that these things can have an impact on marriage. I think they surely had an impact on mine. I was trying hard to save money in the bank and my husband was just taking it out. I gave up and I put it on the credit card because I was so fed up with it and then I gave him all the finances and in one year we went from $600 in the hole to $6,000 in the hole. That did not help our relationship. When he divorced me there was also bankruptcy. I try not to spend money I don't have... It doesn't always work. But I try. I had a budget from the time I had my very first job and okay I was 19 so that's older than most people. But when my mother was 70 I had to teach her how to have a budget. With my husband and my mother I had to use envelopes. This much money is for this. This much money is for that. For me I used a spreadsheet. Even before I had a computer I would write it on lined paper with columns. It was exciting to get a computer. It cost more than our car. But it turned out to be an investment because in a couple years I would need to know how to use one. And actually how to use one better than the other people who were available. That worked for a while. I have noticed in Florida that when we have food that is not in the refrigerator, it gets bugs. This was never a problem I had in Boston. It makes me sad.

[@vetenho]

Those who have this habit don't realize it.

[@joni1]

❤❤❤