6 BIGGEST Lies Your Limerence is Telling You!

[@followingfenna]

Followingfenna.com www.youtube.com/@followingfenna/community

[@elaineschatz6333]

You have no idea how this fits my situation. My husband is in limbrance. He got back from a business trip this 4/28/23 and asked me for a divorce. In the 17 years we were together, he never raised his hand to me in anger. He never called me names, only raised his voice slightly when he was concerned about my health, always lifted me up, and he was always kind. So when he asked for a divorce on April 28th. I could not believe what I was hearing. He hooked up with an old girlfriend from eighteen years ago, and she flew out to be with him on this business trip for 5 days. Suddenly, he's in love. She's saying she wants to be his wife, the mother of his children. He has no kids. He's 48 she's a 45 year old therapist and he's rushing for an uncontested divorce. Everything you're saying in this video Fits my husband's situation perfectly. I am heart Broken but I still hopeful.

[@CM-rc5gh]

I told myself all these lies. When I was still in contact with the person, I truly believed we were soul mates. Of course, when I look back, it was absurd. A helpful exercise for me has been to compare the story I created about him and our interactions and the reality of them. For instance, how can I have a spiritual connection with someone who rarely messaged me first? I was usually the one initiating contact. I often offered him emotional support. He offered me none. As the saying goes, "feelings are not facts." You might feel something deep for another person, but I've had to challenge myself to ask what those feelings were actually based on in reality. If we were soul mates, we would be together. There would have been no uncertainty, no mixed signals, and no limerence. We'd be in a relationship. In some ways, I do think I was meant to meet him but not for the reasons I once thought. I believed he was the man who would finally love me. Instead, the limerence was the catalyst I needed to finally love MYSELF. I think we were meant to meet but not meant to be. The limerence needed to teach me many things, and I am learning. Nothing has made me grow more than this experience. As painful as it has been, I have done positive things with it, and that is what helps me endure the most terrible suffering that I still feel, a year into no contact. My progress is slow, but it is happening. As always, thank you for these videos, Fenna! They are aiding me in my healing.

[@user-wp7qk9qg6i]

Love your statements!

[@CM-rc5gh]

@@user-wp7qk9qg6i Thank you. I hope what I share can help a few people out there. Of course, we all have different experiences with limerence, but this is the meaning that I've had to create for myself to help me through it.

[@10outof10x]

@@CM-rc5gh is your pfp Anna Karina? 💔

[@CM-rc5gh]

@@10outof10x Yes! It's from "Alphaville."

[@iuidit2809]

this is also so true with myself! i feel like i learned so much after the limerence. or after the cutting off from our contact. maybe do you want to share more of your story with me personally? i summarised a bit of my story in Fennas Video: Limerence and waiting. how long were you in a limerent state with them?

[@babounce100]

I watched and commented on this video about a yr ago. I couldn't believe or wouldn't believe these ( six lies ) A year later, they have become 100% completely true. So strange our minds and bodies

[@followingfenna]

Thank you for reflecting back, limerence is such a weird state to be in indeed.

[@Gnomesmusher]

I am smack dab in limerence and I know that these are all lies. I don't even really want to talk to my obsession because she has some traits that are very bad and toxic such as her rampant cheating (she's married to someone else, not me) and yet I still am limerent. My logical brain knows she is totally wrong for me. It knows that it can never work out and that she would only hurt me in the end but the emotions won't stop. I've been in no contact for 3 months now and while my obsession is fading, it's still too strong. I know that I can cut off all contact for as long as needed but I can't stop the thoughts. I'm 50 years and I have never ever been obsessed with anyone so this is so very new and aggravating for me. Your videos are helping me though. They give me hope that I will eventually get over this. So thank you.

[@followingfenna]

3 months is not enough time for the obsession to fade but it will happen!. Just keep going. Good luck G 👍

[@Gnomesmusher]

@@followingfenna I will keep that in mind. Thank you so much for your encouragement

[@spiderlime]

i'm so grateful to you for the useful information and the witty humor. i'm a man of 47 who has realised that for the past two years i went through a huge period of limerance that made me feel miserable, since the woman in question seemed so divine to me that i saw myself as inferior to her and that manhifested in periods of starvation, sleeplesness, nightmares, and depression. on top of that, when i did have a chance to contact her, and she did know how much i revere her, she ignored me. very recently i discovered some information about her that presented many gaps in her narrative ethics-wise, that made me realize that she has shall we say, preferences and beliefs that i wouldn't have tolerated in anyone else. i wish her well, but i would also apply reason to my feelings. again my thanks.

[@markbelluardo127]

I have had a limerent "relationship" with the same person for over 50 years Even when I haven't had contact with her for years, it returns. It has faded at times, but it always there, in the background making a relationship in reality difficult Thanks for the info to grow on

[@lizb941]

I told myself all the 6 lies! On point! I did lie number 2 😔 I divorced, I moved… and now I am all by myself without the limerent object. I wish I saw your videos 2 years ago. I am grieving right now and I hope I will feel better soon. Thank you Fenna 🙏🏼

[@beegee5305]

Im confused, do you regret leaving the marriage?

[@lizb941]

@@beegee5305 no I don’t regret getting divorced because I wasn’t happy with my ex husband but I do regret the way I did it, I was so blinded by my feelings for the “limerent object” that I made my ex-husband suffer a lot…

[@JamesC183]

I get that, I’m turning myself inside out, in sheer disbelief that I can be so overwhelmed by LO in a LE that I feel so disconnected from my SO and kids, a complete disregard for their feelings, it’s horrendous

[@lizb941]

@Eremias Ranwolf well, my LM contacted me two weeks ago saying he was mad at me because it’s been months and I don’t contact him and don’t make sure he’s fine 😰 I thought I was dying! I told him everything I had to say and I am glad to have found this channel Fenna because thanks to you I knew I was in limerence and I forced myself to put boundaries! Now I know my LM doesn’t even deserve me!!

[@rickybobby9797]

Marriage isn’t about “being happy” and your spouse isn’t thereto provide that to you. Assuming your husband wasn’t actually abusive (and that’s usually the case) you’ve now damaged two families with your foolish decision and placed yourself in competition with younger less damaged women.

[@MS-ct1nk]

Omg that's so true I always thought that we are soulmates. Also I still believe that she is so special, and I can't understand people when they don't see her as special as I do. Also a lot of times when I do things by myself, I think that she could be doing this and that witj me, and it really feels like I'm missing out. When I see two close people doing something cool together I feel like it should have been me and her doing that too.

[@iuidit2809]

😬 eww, me too. i often had ‚fake talks‘ with him. (i know it comes (also, for me at least), from a state of loneliness, or not enough fulfilled/ satisfying relationships i have with others - also typical for ppl to become limerent for)

[@isabellevillani3357]

Hi Genna the guy who told me to move on as we are not right for each other. He texted me and asked how I was. And said he is looking to catch up. I am confused.

[@Separo1]

I was going to change Country for her, divorce and hoped that our age gap was not going to be a problem….. I still miss her but we are in 10 weeks no contact and I want to continue as she has moved on….. thank you Fenna

[@dookieinapot]

Cant believe you have so few subs, thanks for helping me through my limerance!

[@chesterfieldsl44]

Love your honest, eye opening, realistic, helpful videos.

[@twinflamerehab]

Another lie is "if I heal myself, they will heal" "if i surrender or have no doubt this is my twin flame, they will come around" Please doubt people !! especially those who aren't choosing you.

[@ThrivingInLife]

This right here. Run adds with the keywords Twin Flame and Soul Mates. You will, and are about to blow up! (your channel getting views and subs).

[@ThrivingInLife]

Exactly!!! Because there is nothing else on KZbin explaining the obsessive thinking. Even though you know your "normal" but can't explain it. So the twin flame story arch is the only thing that explains the over thinking as someone "normal". It took over 3 months to finely find you and the word limerence. So many people are misled. If you advertise the twin flame keyword, then teach on limerence, I'm sure you will help thousands of people to actually proactively see their situation in a scientific way.

[@staceysmith3090]

Please keep making these videos! It helps so much!

[@photonjohnny]

I had "spiritual experiences" for several months but nothing ever worked out. Unexplainable. The only logical thing at the time was "twin flames". May have been limerence from the start. Not sure why but I think Limerence might have been it all that time. I told myself all these lies. Actually, I am angry at myself for wasting so much emotion and time. Made so many mistakes and got NOTHING for any of it. Hopefully I can move out of this part of my life for good. Thank you.

[@claudiawilliams-BEYOU]

I feel you - you’re not alone .

[@photonjohnny]

@@followingfenna Thank you. It is a process to move on from the shame and humiliation.

[@sweetlullaby5156]

for that clarity about twinflames, check out the videos of Kurt Johnson.. he's the only one who makes sense about twinflames

[@photonjohnny]

@@sweetlullaby5156 He was my main man for a while. Helped me heal from this concept. I was sooooooo convinced I was a twin flame person because of the spiritual experiences, not just the "crush" on a certain person. Wow, I do not even remember all the stuff I went through. I kept wanting a confirmation of my funk in reality but that NEVER came. A lot of people have had similar experiences. Some are still stuck. Fenna's videos are vital to heal for most. I do not even know what a twin flame is anymore.

[@sweetlullaby5156]

@@photonjohnny just know that you're not alone.. and we can all go through this together. we are not our minds. we are the soul

[@vikingmike8139]

Excellent and directly to the point. And strong points as well. Thanks Fenna. Cheers!

[@followingfenna]

😀 🍻

[@georgevue8175]

Sad: 17 years ago, I caught my wife of 14 years in a limerence affair with a coworker what was sad was for the 3 years she was cheating she was 100% miserable & looked like the most distressed person in the world. Maybe it was fun once she got to the other man’s place but everywhere else, she looked miserable. In many ways I wish she left me for him, I’d be much happier today if she did. Usual story I stayed for the kids and I am glad I did, without my calming presence their lives would be totally messed up as mom (my wife) is an emotional disaster. I wish she would see a psychiatrist because I am 100% sure she suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder

[@kerrymillar1267]

It’s funny isn’t it, you want them to stay but when they do, it can feel like you’ve actually lost.

[@georgevue8175]

I applied Dread (got a side piece) and worked hard improving myself & today my wife is giving me hot sex like we are new lovers. @@eremiasranwolf3513

[@immagonnanotdoit]

I know I've a limerence on her. It's been around 11 days since I last saw her. I just wonder... Does she think about me, even if just for a moment? I know this is just my limerence speaking but we had some real good time back in January... It's just

[@davidmbeckmann]

Very reasonable, but my experience is that you cannot reason with a woman possessed by limerance.

[@beegee5305]

My ex BF went on for 2 years with his limerence with his "little friend" ... Even when I left him (after 4 ineffective therapists) he would dig in his heals, he was NOT going to throw away his "friends". I wished he defended me like he defended that twit.

[@Johnmiller-hp4mt]

Would love to hear more on this subject.

[@Johnmiller-hp4mt]

@@followingfenna I watch lots of videos on this subject and I would love to learn lots more. So everything you got. 😁

[@lyamorian767]

Truth hits hard. 🙈

[@followingfenna]

But being outside limerence is sooo sweet

[@vickih5423]

Love this! As always, thank you Fenna!

[@georgevue8175]

Little bit funny - I think both my wife and the other man were in limerence together because during the most passionate phase of their affair I took her & the kids on a 3-week Caribbean vacation and the other man totally freaked out calling her 5 to 10 times/day. Personally, I feel bad for any man so desperate for a woman he has to settle for sloppy occasional seconds from another man’s wife.

[@scorpiochic2]

I love your content ❤learning a lot so thank you Fenna

[@10outof10x]

Lie #6 "I'll never get over him"...it's been 5 years :'( but I still have contact. It's a tough situation and I can grey rock for a while, but he always finds a way and I stupidly let my guard down. Of course it is more trauma bonding than limerance I think idk

[@sluslu4284]

thank you so much fenna! so insightful❤

[@domenicruberto608]

Great video excellent content and presentation, its a big help

[@irmsje63]

Ik heb hier al mijn hele leven ook veel last van, alleen gaat het bij niet weg, het wordt met de jaren iets minder wel maar dat duurt bijna altijd zo'n 20 jaar voordat ik het een plekje kan geven maar het gaat nooit helemaal weg, ik heb geen contact meer met die personen dus daar ligt het niet aan maar het lukt me niet ze los te laten. Ik lijdt hier erg onder en heb hierdoor ook een paar keer zelfmoordpogingen gedaan. 4 maanden geleden ben ik verlaten door mijn psychologe waar ik ook limerence bij heb, zij is ergens anders gaan werken en ik kon niet mee (ergens wel goed) maar ik kan dit niet meer aan zo vaak hierdoor heen te moeten. Ik ben 59 jaar en moe hiervan, het lijden is zo groot , alleen al dat ik weet dat de pijn weer tientallen jaren gaat duren. Steeds neem ik me voor me niet meer te hechten aan onbereikbare mensen maar als zo iemand lief en aardig en begripvol naar mij is dan val ik er toch weer in omdat ik zo verlang naar alleen onbereikbare personen die mij positieve aandacht schenken. Hechtingsstoornissen zijn zo moeilijk weg te krijgen. Ik blijf verlangen naar een vader of moederfiguur.

[@mennobosch7102]

My wife left me for another married man (rich) . My wife moved to his townhouse (approximate 1000km away) , she resigned her employment and went to stay in his townhouse. My wife only has clothing and medicine with her. She has no car, furniture or property. She removed herself from social media and broke contact with family and her friends. We are currently 4 months apart she never had any decend communication with me since she left me. She is alway rude and very selfish. She does not want to work on our marriage (fixable) and dont realy have a valid reason for divorce. From the 6 lies mentioned about 5 is applicable to my wife's situation but i can add: in my wife's sitation money is also a factor. Im applying for a divorce.

[@followingfenna]

It sounds like limerence indeed, I'm very sorry for you Menno, good luck!

[@deniseblack7253]

OMG I still have all!!

[@hemamadhuri8535]

Thank you for the eye opening truth 🙏

[@mickboyce386]

Try convincing a marriage therapist about limerence. they think you are nuts.

[@mickboyce386]

@@followingfenna I don't have the limerence though.

[@beegee5305]

I brought it up with my therapist and she is going to look into it. She was pretty interested in the concept. She had never heard of the word.

[@mickboyce386]

@@beegee5305 took me 4 sessions to convince my new one it exists. When it's affecting you and your family for years, it's horrible and dangerous.

[@mickboyce386]

@@beegee5305 What did your therapist find?

[@andrewmass1414]

Excellent. I will watch all of your videos. Plus, you are cute, which is nice.

[@cyndigooch1162]

Andrew Mass I agree about the excellent information and watch out for limerence! 😉

[@Graham-zh4cp]

You said one person was in limerance for 25 yrs he must be up the wall by now some person that's for sure

[@ariolu8695]

Hi! Your videos are fantastic, I feel that the pain that I feel is normal even though several months have passed and I dated this person for a very short time. But they cannot fix that, so its just up to me to heal and have 0 hope that they come back. I have a question for you... is exposure to triggers healthy? I mean for example listening to songs that reminds us of them, places that we visited together... until it gets better? or is that just dopamine fix and living in the past? And another thing... how do i know if i'm just wallowing in useless self pity instead of healthy self compassion? Thank you in advance!!

[@zoofie783]

Hey Fenna, bedankt voor je informatieve video's! Hoe zou jij limerence vertalen in het nederlands? Hele toffe blouse trouwens, staat je mooi! Groetjes

[@2icelollys1goat]

Hi Fenna. I really got engrossed in listening to you. I've suffered - and am currently suffering, such an episode. Unfortunately, I work alongside my limerent object. So, going 'no contact' isn't an option. Having previously had a gambling addiction I guess I'm hooked on her unpredictability and the emotional highs and lows associated with this. May I please ask how I could approach the problem of being around this woman in work? We're a small team but do work in isolation, mostly, too. I don't want to flatly ignore her. But her lack of respect for me and the belittling comments do cause me some pain and anguish.

[@2icelollys1goat]

@@followingfenna Thank you, so much, for replying. I've, in fact, not disclosed. But I have indicated to her that I'm "intimidated" and "crushed by her confidence" etc. She did briefly say she'd been in a similar position over someone, too, in her lifetime. And she also said "she wasn't perfect". Also, a few months ago I made a gesture - when she was unwell, of buying several healthy snacks etc (we work in a store) for her but she stressed afterwards that it was a nice thought but that I should not do it again. Also, there are other signs she's not interested ie I send some WhatsApp msgs (nothing personal just helpful info on travel or gardening tips for eg) and she replies with either one line or doesn't reply at all. And she never msgs me first or shows any interest in anything I discuss. In person she appears to not notice me or the things I say. I'm so sorry to go on, at length, here! However, when I did try to have no contact with her at work she noticed and asked other colleagues why I was speaking to others but not her. She can be exceptionally nice; but other times I'm crushed - and upset easily, by her when my interest or willingness to talk isn't reciprocated.

[@2icelollys1goat]

@@followingfenna Hi. "graduating"? Do you mean disclosing or another word? Sorry I do not understand

[@iuidit2809]

when you feel belittled by her, then tell her that you don’t feel respected by her when she does this or that. but pay attention that her behaviour towards you you want to call her out for is mostly about work and that this behaviour would be bothering you anyways, regardless of the person. when this behaviour of her that is bothering you is just related to her bc you have feelings for her - then i think you have to work on yourself. the best is just think about you and what would be bothering, in relationships and so on and not so much look to the other. i can see it also in your text that you called her out and said she is ‚intimidating‘ and so on. this already shows that you look more to the other and make assumptions/ judgements to the other person. (which could make the other resent to you, also). better is to acknowledge direct a specific situation, where you felt disrespected in, describe that situation. and that you didn’t like that specific behaviour of the other person towards you (always make it about the situation, never the person in whole), and say how you want to get treated from that person in the future. in a working environment, i would just do those statements to another one, if that behaviour appears often, and you know that this behaviour isn’t good and wouldn’t be good towards others as well. you can also talk with others about your situation and how you felt in it, to make sure if that is really a behaviour which isn’t good and would need a talk like that, or if it’s just that you are a bit ‚sensitive‘ for certain behaviour towards you (i also have the feeling that it is probably the latter). and also if you speak to s.o. about it and how is also dependent which different positions you may have (boss-, colleagues-relationship) and so on. but best is if you speak first with others about it, mainly with ppl you trust in and you believe in have a good sense for social situations. good luck!

[@joemacch6284]

Excellent. This will help plenty of those who are into soulmates, twin flames. Including myself. I still believe this is part of the true spiritual journey…know thyself. Thanks

[@lizb941]

Oh Lord this twin flames thing got us all 😔😔 I truly believed I was on this journey with my LO because a tarot reader told me that… when I think about it now I feel very sad that I naively believed we had that unique connection 💔 I lost 4 years of my life

[@churka5984]

I have seen some healthy attitudes in the soulmate/twin flame community though I previously assumed that they all promoted unhealthy attachment styles and limerence. Some people do, but from what I have seen, most are just trying to make sense out of all the synchronicities and events that happened to them in a healthy way while advising people not to chase, to go no contact if they can and to focus on themselves. I personally don't believe that souls are split into two parts that have to find each other, but I do believe in karma, meaning and sense making with archetypal stories as long as they're healthy and productive.

[@churka5984]

@@lizb941 don't blame yourself. You didn't "lose time". You had an experience. A lot of people blame the idea of soul mates or even spirituality for time spent in limerence when in reality, limerence would make you create any rationalization or story just so you can stay in that state.

[@beachnap]

Hi Fenna, thank you for making these helpful videos. A lot of the information out there about limerence describes a scenario in which the limerent is longing for someone they are pursuing but can never be with. For me, I am struggling with grief and trying to heal and move on AFTER the break-up. But after 8 months, I feel like my grief is still so strong and lingering far longer than normal... after doing some research, I came across the concept of limerence and feel it better describes my experience than typical grief. Do you have any information you could share that compares these two or explains how limerence can affect someone after the relationship has already happened? My ex was most likely an avoidant in terms of attachment and even though he said he loved me and we spoke of marriage and family, I don't think he ever felt about me the way I did for him. When he broke up with me, he couldn't even give me a reason why and just said "it wasn't meant to be". I was left in a state of shock and confusion. I moved out but we continued to live in the same tiny town. After a few months where he kept reaching out to me, I decided I needed to go no contact and that has helped. But I still think about him constantly and struggle with moving on completely. I know it's not healthy, but I can't stop. Any relevant advice would be appreciated!

[@beachnap]

@@followingfenna Thank you so much. I am working with a therapist to address my own attachment patterns and history with relational trauma, and it has helped. My therapist had never brought up limerence though, and I'm glad I stumbled upon it because it's giving me a lot of new aspects to consider and work on!

[@laniagcaoili7676]

Is it helpful to send this video to the person in limerent currently under crystallization period

[@elielsonanjos7440]

I love you. hahahaha I Wanne hear you forever. You know what's happening to me!!!

[@followingfenna]

I'm so glad you found the name for it.

[@ST-cy6we]

1:36 I had to laugh. This is exactly what my wife is doing.

[@Donjuliooropeza]

Same

[@FreedomInJesusChrist222]

Could you please please please do one on how to stop being Limerent after leaving your affair partner and returning to your spouse and trying to rebuild your marriage. I can’t stop thinking about her, even though I went no contact, I left the affair and I don’t want to go back to that situation. I am working on my marriage, and I love my spouse. She never found out about the affair, so now I have to grieve this in silence and alone. But the thought of the affair partner wont leave me, it’s in my head every day. And it’s really hard to move on when these intrusive thoughts overwhelm me. Please help

[@FreedomInJesusChrist222]

@@followingfenna sorry for the late response, i hadnt seen your reply. Thank you so much for replying to me. It has been 3 1/2 months now

[@FreedomInJesusChrist222]

@@followingfenna thank you so much for your response and taking the time. You are so kind! thank you!!!! I was barely starting to get a little better and keeping my no contact and she started hoovering and stalking my friends asking about me! 😒😒😒 is like she knew i was getting better and moving on…. So sick… :-( I am keeping my no contact

[@Separo1]

@stmichael. Your story resemble mine. It has been 2 years we separated and 1 year since we last meet but only 2 months no contact. I am in a better place now but still thinking about my AP every day. It will take the time it needs but NC seems to be the best therapy, together with Podcast, meditation and mindfulness. Be present. you are strong to have decided to stop the affair and you will succeed, just keep it up. How are you now after those many months?

[@benjaminquist]

Thank you.

[@churka5984]

If it's our hormones that make someone look, sound and smell exceptionally attractive, then how do we make ourselves see them as not that attractive? Or is the no contact the only way to deal with that?

[@franziskani]

The hormones have to be produced again and again. There is a "learned" response of trigger (any, even small contact with the person the limerent is obsessed with) and the release of dopamin that arouses our reward center (dopamin is also part of the puzzle with other non-substance addictions like gambling,social media etc.). But those pathways are chemical (chemical triggering electrical discharges). So if the pathways stay unused underused for a while because of strict NO CONTACT (not even checken them out online or a short banal message) the chemical response are not as intense, they start to fade. The brain got used to the release of high dosess of dopamin (which is released with any contact with the "beloved" or when a person gambles etc.). After a while that trigger-excretion chain weakens and the brain gets used AGAIN to release dopamin (and other neurotransmitter / hormones) in the way it should be. When we do things that take some effort and are good for the species. Naturally we do not often get the very intense dopan highs. When falling in love (which is not quite as strong as limerence). So a men and woman will make a baby and care for it. The first stage of love fades after 3 years max. Makes sense than a baby should be old enough to be weaned and if the couple falls out of love it is not as devastating if the father does not stay around. And if a baby is born the mother will fall (even more) in love. Hard and for ever. nature does not leave it to the conscious mind, hormones make sure someone will willingly and happily shoulder the demanding job. And fathers also can fall in love. For life. That is the only long time love obsession that is meant to be by nature. Lots of hormones make sure the bonding happens. (That process can be disturbed with humans and animals, but it is pretty reliable and absolutely necessary for the survival of a species). In cases of strong "person-addiction" (limerence) taking medication that will help against depression could assist the "detox" process. The most common anti depressants increase the Serotonin levels in the brain, and serotonin makes us feel better (those medications do not provide any highs so they are not addictive). That is a sort of crutch that can be used for a while until the brain has a more natural chemical balance.

[@photonjohnny]

As to soul mates and twin flames, they are extremely rare and highly likely are not real. Thought I was a "twin flame" but glad I was skeptic. Never understood why it did not manifest in "3D". LOL. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Or I never got a clear response. My, how so many people exploit this idea for profit.

[@pamg1673]

I had a limerence episode, but I did not have romantic feelings for that person. Is that still considered to be limerence? I mean, this person I really felt an emotional connection to. I thought about that person obsessively, emailed them constantly, re-read the emails a lot. She had the ability to soothe my soul wounds. She was very nurturing and loving.

[@pamg1673]

@@followingfenna ok, thought I was just weird…I’ve mentioned in other posts it was my reiki practitioner, that kind of work by its nature, is kinda bonding.. but, I got really emotionally attached, and now, having to detach from her, hurts…😭

[@franziskani]

@@pamg1673 hi, my partner practices Reiki (only level 1 and maybe 2), he says when he gives Reiki he sometimes "falls in love" with the person receiving Reiki. But it fades (a few hours or a few days at the most). Maybe you could tell the practicioner that you two engage in a ritual to correctly separate ties.

[@user-ph4mg1mh9c]

Thankfully I don’t have any of these, guess I just have a stupid crush 😣

[@heatherhaven1268]

I have a question: can you tell me your opinion on this? Do you think that Jesse and Celine were actually in limerence, in the Before Sunrise/Sunset/Midnight trilogy of movies?

[@ST-cy6we]

Does someone who is in limerence treat the limerent object (their affair partner) better than they treated their spouse?

[@BrianThompson-g6r]

They tend to be people, perhaps NPD, who prefer the 'affair' because they see it as excitement and thrills - even romance ! In reality, it is probably what it is, a grubby affair sneaking and skulking around, secret furtive meetings and the other person involved is likely to be an adulterer or womaniser, or both ! If it's female, she is also a cheat ! These type of people do not get their supply by being good, honest or loyal to their spouses or partners. Quite the opposite, they may treat their spouses/partners badly in comparison. Ego-driven escapism.

[@NoName-zb1gm]

Is limerence also thinking a person you like will care about you even though you aren't a couple yet? I think this is my issue. She rejected me 5 years ago but we actually have grown friendly and there's a connection and comfort level there but I hope it's not one sided. I'm afraid to ask her out again thinking she'll say I'm still not attracted to you. So I do all kinds of manifesting and visualizing and praying hoping she'll get attracted to me. But at some point I have to ask her out again.

[@followingfenna]

Sounds indeed as limerence, hope and uncertainty. Being afraid to ask clarity and looking for other source to get clarity sounds indeed as limerence. I hope you get clarity one day, and pls stay away from the visualising.

[@NoName-zb1gm]

@@followingfennaOne guy I follow who does dating advice says give women time and space to decide since it takes them longer to become attracted so I've been doing that. Plus I have to be delicate because I see her in Church so I don't want to make things uncomfortable. But I would like to ask her out even something harmless like going out to breakfast after Church.

[@edengetachew3952]

How long it will take to phase out on the average??

[@followingfenna]

That depends on soooo many factors, but reciprocal infatuation lasts up to 3 years, but again there are a lot of circumstances at play.

[@edengetachew3952]

It’s a miracle that mine did in 3 weeks but was after a big mistake in my life

[@joeyraggs]

What if I work with my LO (limerent object), there is no escape.

[@G-x9w]

Maybe you could go more deeply into each one?

[@followingfenna]

For sure !

[@royrodgers567]

Mmmmm Dopamine lol