6 Steps To Shut Down a NARCISSIST & RECLAIM YOUR CONTROL (Disarm the Narcissist) | Marisa Peer

You may be facing a narcissist at home, at work, or in your wider family. Narcissists can destroy your self-esteem and sense of self-worth.
Watch this video to find out my six ways to deal with the narcissist in your life.
For help to boost your self-esteem, download my FREE 'Self-Esteem' workbook here: bit.ly/Self-Est...
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Marisa Peer is the author of 'I Am Enough' and creator of Rapid Transformational Therapy®️(RTT). Marisa Peer is an English best-selling author, nutritionist, relationship therapist, hypnotherapist trainer, and motivational speaker. She is using hypnosis for anxiety, weight loss, addiction, and overcoming fear.
She has spent over 30 years working with people including royalty, rock stars, actors, professional and Olympic athletes, CEOs and media personalities and has developed her own style that is frequently referred to as "life-changing."
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#marisapeer

[@gregrodgers9537]

Leave, they don’t love you, they don’t care about you, they use and abuse you, they are mentally, verbally, emotionally, physically abusive, I can not stress this enough leave, they won’t ever change, protect your energy, your life and leave these abusive people

[@lisaseverino5114]

When my daughter was 9 years old, she looked at me when her grandma went home and said, ‘mum, grandma is a narcissist!’ I grew up with my mother and I didn’t ever think she was, I always thought I was the one with the problems. I can’t believe it took my 9 year old daughter to bring it to the surface! She is now 17 and wants to be a psychologist

[@memomisa4351]

Wow!

[@HajnalkaMa]

That's great news 🗞️. Our children are less dependent, they have clearer vision of our parents. I was afraid of my mom lot more after she passed away. Awkward, isn't it? Children are great teachers, I listen to my daughter often, she is almost 6 and of great wisdom.

[@safina2022]

Narcissistic ex and now a narcissist daughter. Keep your distance indeed. My ex of 20 years uses my children to abuse me at every level. Don't let it in. Keep your life private and move on. Less is more with these disordered people. Thank you Marisa.

[@MarisaPeer]

💖

[@princessak21]

Once you have one in your life you will start to always attract them. Born to a covert narc mother I went through hell with her till I was 23 and only found out at 33 what a narc even is. And every guy I’ve met was a narc too. Now I know not to ever speak to one.

[@thipimotsoare4228]

You stop attracting them when you start healing what is broken inside of you

[@HajnalkaMa]

Dear Miss AK, you have a choice. You have your instincts and you have the choice to use it. I think narcissism is an illness. Also being victim of a narcissist is an illness too. There is a way to heal. Wish you a profound healing. It is great to feel free of victim hood. Happy recovery

[@ThePlanetLiz]

I wish I'd known this 30 years ago. Everything you say is absolutely true. They will never change.

[@sayusayme7729]

You’re a true gift. Thanks you for this. A very simple explanation of narcissist abuse. At 60 I’m still healing and learning who I am finally Never too late. 🦋

[@kinga8814]

Wish you a good life ! 🌸

[@MjF809]

Congratulations your best days are today and your future!!!

[@AhmetKaan]

*3 Quotes to Live By:* 🔥 *1) "Don't compare yourself to someone else, compare yourself to your yesterday's self."* 🔥 *2) “You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending”* 🔥 *3) "Once you decide your lifes purpose, you will only have to pack one thing: "Your Heart."*

[@deliachilds2300]

My son is a narcissistic person and because I didn't answer the phone he disowned me that's okay I'm learning to deal with it thank you so much for your advice

[@stephanielouise2442]

GREAT ADVISE! Plan your move...stick to it..no matter how many years have passed GET OUT!

[@AhmetKaan]

*"Everything in life is easier when you don't concern yourself with what other people are doing."* The chances of you seeing this comment is pretty low, but if you did, *I hope you have an amazing day.* 🖤

[@alcudiababe1]

Someone once said there three kind of business in life, your business, other peoples business and gods business and we create more pain, more discomfort and drama for ourselves when we get involved into other peoples business and why do things happen rather than focusing on our own and getting that sorted

[@PixieRose7]

Brilliant.

[@kavithakrishnanshow]

I met a psychiatrist doctor and had two dates with him. I had all red flags from day 1, guess what I’m always wrong for him already. Anyone can be covert narcissistic don’t let their flashy image fool.

[@luvitaq8284]

That happen to me two months ago.. all it took was two dates for me to know smh..

[@luvitaq8284]

@@kavithakrishnanshow very sad. God will handle his son though.

[@PixieRose7]

Unfortunately so many narcissists hide under respectable titles like therapist, life coach, political leader, non-profit CEO. So no one would ever suspect they’re abusiveness..

[@froglobster]

After years of working for these kind of people I quit them cold turkey. No 2 weeks notice. The head games were terrible.

[@HajnalkaMa]

Great ideas! It was not my fault my mom was a narcissist and alcoholic. I felt all my life I am not enough and always something missing from my life. God bless her, she suffered all her life.

[@HajnalkaMa]

I read the comments and I see often narc. This is relevant to me because it's like a drug, a narcotic. A codependency. Being narcissist is being addicted to the presence of a victim and vice versa.

[@MjF809]

What a wonderful attitude. Congratulations

[@victoriaalgra3675]

It’s so awful... I’ve seen it first hand and it’s horrendous... just know the signs and go no contact ...if a parent then go limited contact for yourself and precious mental health. 🙏🕊🙏😔

[@cathypage8806]

Wish I’d heard this years ago, as my mother was a narcissist. Thank you for this.

[@thespiritualadvocate]

A cry for help to you Marisa. My fiancé is on the verge of leaving me because in 4 years I haven’t been able to lose weight for my health, I am struggling, in the past I have been everyones rock, healer, but I am trying to find the courage to heal myself. Everyone who loves me is worried. My fiance says I havent made good on my word I would lose the weight for my own health in all this time and he has lost faith in me. This is devastating. I dont know what to do. My son worries I will die, my mother worries. I am at a loss. Everything I try doesn’t work. You are my last hope. Praying to God constantly for a miracle of strength and fortitude. THANKS FOR LISTENING. Is there hope for me? BLESS YOU MARISA PEER❤️🤗

[@MarisaPeer]

Thanks for reaching out. If you wish to seek therapeutic support/self development, I would advise booking an RTT session with one of our specialist therapists who can discuss your concerns further. You can book this using the link below: rapidtransformationaltherapy.com/findaspecialisttherapist/bookingform/ Alternatively, you could take a look at Marisa's Perfect Weight Forever program, which you can find here bit.ly/pwf-masterclass-fb. We hope it helps. Sending you love and support. 💖 Marisa Peer Team

[@marahmoonflower7926]

I have been close to where you are. You will need to be brave and separate from this relationship if you want to know inner peace. I know what it is like. I left my narc after 11 years. I didn't know what a narcissist was at the time. I was being so diminished I left because I'd felt terrible for so long. With a narcissist it feels like you are wrapped up in another persons consistent game of judging you. This is only the very small part of what you might see if you stay or get married. If you are into spirituality, ... they always say that you need to let go of that which no longer serves you. I think you know this deep down or you wouldn't have left your comment. I wouldn't want to step over Marisa, however I can say that I had spent 3 years listening to and doing homework with Richard Grannon( also on youtube). He has a good sense of humor and at least many, many videos from years past to help you develop a better understanding of your interactions with the steadfastness of a narcissist. I will pray for you, ... for your inner strength and bravery to appear always when you need it. 💚 Your weight isn't the problem. It's about control. And it will get worse. You are your own savior, always. You are worth this. The universe and God loves you and wants you to succeed. When you are on the other side of the separation from a narcissist you will have much more peace for yourself. You can't have peace to live for someone else. I'd say try some distance Reiki healing. Many youtubers offer this now. Sometimes the answers from within cannot reach us in such times of stress. 🙏 You will know when you have had enough. However long it takes. Namaste💚

[@earthed_soul]

@@MarisaPeer You keep deleting my reply to someone which may assist in speedily benefitting their health, as it did mine. In my experience, there is no amount of therapy which can improve someone's mental and emotional health of there is an unrecognized food intolerance within the person who is not coping. It was acute toxic suicide-inducing narc abuse which triggered my food intol, and this person may have the same issue. Food intols prevent coping mechanisms because the person's immune system is always overworked trying to keep its human healthy and well in every way but it's a downward spiral until the food intol is discovered...and counseling and therapy doesn't shift anything 💁🤷🤦 You'll most likely delete this too asap 🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦

[@livfreeali4958]

Narcs have multiple sources to feed them. I have a neighbor well a few but one in a particular. He's so desperate for me to give him attention. It's in your face. Shallow people!.

[@connied8507]

Went through a divorce from a narcissist in 98. Teenagers involved. Very nasty and still hearing of his transgressions. Rocky for a while with kids but I'm very proud of the adults they turned into. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for the children. They became his target when I was no longer available.

[@missalaana5490]

best advice please for narcissistic parent when you are an adult

[@MarisaPeer]

Hello Alaana, you may find this video useful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/g3e8cqeHgZihe7M Please let us know if you have any further questions 😊 💖 Marisa Peer Team

[@EP61]

Thank you for addressing this issue and for your wise words

[@MarisaPeer]

You’re welcome ❤️

[@foxywhitetip7387]

The background music - NO Her words - Yes

[@purplemoon8637]

Marisa, Thank you. I’d rather be single than married to one. 🙏🏻🤗

[@MarisaPeer]

💜

[@katalinmcewan]

Any day. Life is beautiful without a narc in it!

[@mariapescifeltri953]

Thank you Marisa. You are an angel. Had a relationship with a narcissist and thanks to your advices I won't let this guy in my life. God bless you.

[@jacquelinechallenor1124]

Omg this is brilliant xxxxx

[@thespiritualadvocate]

Thank you.

[@Cook.Love.Heal.Repeat]

Thank u ❤️

[@Rycamcam]

Bless you Marissa, you sweet woman for sharing your wisdom

[@georginakerr9997]

Hi Marissa another great video I pity narcacissts how exhausting these people must be very sad and pathetic

[@angelicfrequency471]

Great, Thank you, really appreciate your work & these videos

[@hanaamr3685]

So grateful for you. Lots of love and prayers from Egypt

[@KA-yz2ld]

Marisa i love you... Thank you so much and honestly may God continue to bless you... I gave them distance to save myself, its best that way because they never change. 🌹

[@MarisaPeer]

That’s really kind of you to say ❤️

[@jesusfavouritedaughter5808]

God bless you ma 🙏🏾

[@omnificent15]

My appreciation💕

[@ardenbaltimore4867]

Thank you Marisa.

[@MarisaPeer]

You’re welcome ❤️

[@momof1150]

I’ve been married to “Mr Right” for 42 years. Never knew how difficult it would be to live with someone who’s “perfect.” Lol 🤪

[@rosalynkelley2067]

I, was married to a nar for 15 years and all together we were together for 20 years and we have a son who is 21 year's old now so, the best thing l have ever done was divorce him for good so, now l'm free from this emotional roller coaster ride and realtoinship and marriage that l was in so, all l can say is God will give you the strength that you need to leave and mended your broken heart ask me how know l love you all and l will be praying with you.💪❤

[@dinadantoniosmithson2923]

Thank you, Marisa. Could you please make a hypnosis video, specifically for "not letting it in?" I would like to train my subconscious mind and my emotional body to be unaffected by toxic people. Perhaps hypnosis can help to install a firewall.

[@HarpreetSingh-il5sy]

Thanks you 🙏🌹

[@myrenaissance]

I was finished with my mother the day she introduced me “and this is my oldest dumbass daughter”. Lovely. She was alcoholic, prescription drug addict and endlessly needy. I took her place cooking, cleaning and laundry. She always needed a foot rub, back rub or a victim du jour. I rarely saw her after leaving home and marrying until her intro of me. I feel for you if you are in that prison. Thank you Marissa. I’m thinking of taking your course to be a little beam of light for someone else.

[@elpidioplaza5181]

What if your father is a narcissist? What are the ways on how to handle it? Because my entire life, my family has been suffering by his actions. I want to leave, but it's not as simple as that. I have my family also here, and I want them to leave with me. Sadly, with our situation right now, it's very difficult to make such big decision. But I'm doing my best on handling my narcissist father. Sometimes I just get frustrated and burn out. But my faith is strong, I know that one day, we'll get through with this.

[@elpidioplaza5181]

Thank you so much. We'll get through with this ❤️

[@tracythomas1496]

Hi I just realized I am and have been a narcissist parent for the past 25 years. I have apologized to my 2 children. I am deeply saddened and angry at and with myself. I Didn't know what a narcissist was until I became married to one 8 years ago. Researching his behavior I realized I am also a narcissist. Every channel keeps saying narcissist can't change, but I want to change, I don't want to be this ugly self centered, judgemental, hollow person, I'm starting therapy, and I keep talking to my children asking forgiveness, and telling them I didn't understand what I was doing to them. They have already forgiven me. ❤ they are better to me then I was to them. I judge them a lot. Can I narcissist change if they truly want too ?

[@suezaccone5841]

My husband was very harsh and hateful to me for yrs. And i was always put down by my mom growing up. I was told what to say and not say and how to act and not act. Now im wondering who am I? I didn't know what a narcissist was until my husband and he didn't show his true colors until after married. Im trying to heal yet trama bond is really hard. Help

[@MarisaPeer]

Thanks for reaching out. Sorry to hear of your struggles. It is incredible how many of us deal with a narcissist without realizing. If you wish to seek therapeutic support, I would advise booking an RTT session with one of our specialist therapists who can discuss your concerns further. You can book this using the link below: rapidtransformationaltherapy.com/findaspecialisttherapist/bookingform/ Sending you love and support. Marisa Peer Team

[@truthseeker7792]

But I think it’s not as simple as leaving. For instance, how can a person leave their Dad and mum as they grow old? When they grow old they become week in other aspects and now they need our support.

[@emerald4660]

Sometimes you just have to leave, remember they do not deserve you they made you suffer your whole life for their ego

[@Chahlie]

I agree, remember the suffering and just go. When I thought I should put up with my mother I thought "what would she do if I was dying?". She would say she was too busy, didn't like hospitals, not her problem, blah blah. It doesn't matter how old we are, you have to break ALL contact. My mother (and father) are responsible for ruining my life from the age of 11 on. It is criminal.

[@katalinmcewan]

And they count on your conscience. Have they been there for you when you needed help? It’s your choice, but many people cut ties with their parents for their own mental/physical health. I was always there for my narc ex when he was ill/had an injury whereas if I had any issues/needed help he was nowhere to be found. My health had massively improved since I cut him out of my life.

[@annasimon7077]

Great video, Marisa, thank you. But what do you do once you are out of that relationship but still dealing with the pain of being scapegoated for so long? Both my parents and sister are narcs and so is my ex-husband. They always made me responsible for everything wrong, often inventing and managing to have my relatives, too, becoming very critical against me and that is so hurtful and unfair. Can you please make a video on how to overcome being scapegoated and how to avoid it altogether? Thanks :)

[@Chahlie]

I shut down my email and moved to another country. My kids don't even know where I am, though I'm sure they could find out through the IP or something. Once you realise you are a scapegoat, that is the beginning. It's a long hard road but SO worth it.

[@josepardo6783]

Marisa: I just divorced a narcissistic, what a relief... I recently realized that my older kid is just like mom. I need to help this adult child some how. How can i help my adult narcissistic child??

[@suezaccone5841]

How can a person heal from trama bonding and mental and and emotional abuse from a narcissist husband

[@amieireland5695]

My narcist husband killed himself 2 weeks after I told him I was leaving

[@MarisaPeer]

Sorry to hear that. Sending you love and support, and a reminder that if you feel you need help, please ask for it. 💖 Marisa Peer Team

[@thespiritualadvocate]

Marisa, can you do a you tube on a narcissist child and parent relationship ? My son is a replica of his dads behavior, my ex-husband taught him well. We have a strained very painful relationship. Can you help me? I feel stunted as a parent, always have. Your advice is holding me together right now, I am going through a major life transition. BLESS YR ADVICE and BLESS YOUR YOU TUBES WHO HELP SO MANY. I hope you read this and can help. 🌹❤️👒with love💕🙌

[@MarisaPeer]

Hi, sorry to hear of your troubles. Thank you for reaching out and for your suggestion. I will make sure that I pass it on to Marisa and the team 🌸 Marisa Peer Team

[@sayusayme7729]

Yes please, thank you so much. 🌸

[@sj12073]

I'm also in this position its very very difficult 🙏

[@HK-mh3io]

What if you're at work & it's a customer?

[@galina536]

I have a son, 40 years old, he is married with a baby, he has a melanoma. He's a narcissist, he's ruining my life, talking about me badly. What should I do?

[@hannaharendtarendt1879]

How do you do that how you don't let it in?

[@juanitadivested6555]

Hi Marisa! I love this video and I've already watched it several times.. I have a covert narcissistic mother and unfortunately due to my financial situation I have to live with her. Its awful. I can totally grasp not letting what she does in but what do we do after we've already let it in. Once it's in how do we get out from under it? Thank you so much!

[@MarisaPeer]

You’re welcome ❤️ Sending you love and support. 💖 Marisa Peer Team

[@suezaccone5841]

I had no voice when i was growing up at home. I was terrified of my mom. She said she had the right to treat me anyway she wanted cause she was " the mom". She kept looking down my shirt as i was developing and said she had the right. When id hold my chest to stop her i would get slapped in the face. I not only didnt have a voice i had no rights also. I cant count the many times i ran away only to be found and made to come back home. My step dad was also a rotten person. U name it he did it to me. Mom even made me ask him for money when i was on my period. Thats the ONLY time he left me alone. Later when i was in 8th grade he raped me. I got pregnant yet one of my sister helped me figure out how to undo my pregnancy. Im now 65 yrs young and i still carry the guilt of what i did. Almost every man ive been with was abusive also. One even tried to kill me and he raped me also. I hate how i was raised. I can and do say no yet for the most part no has never worked. I need help. Im seeing a therapist yet dont really feel helped. Idk what to do. How can i find me since ive always been what other's wanted me to be. I want to be happy how tho. Im a Christian yet the things i say to husband i feel im becoming him. I hate it.

[@MarisaPeer]

Thanks for reaching out. Sorry to hear of your struggles and trauma. If you are looking for alternative therapy options, I would advise booking an RTT session with one of our specialist therapists who can discuss your situation further. You can book this using the link below: rapidtransformationaltherapy.com/findaspecialisttherapist/bookingform/ Sending you love and support. Marisa Peer Team

[@Queenkarenf]

My father is narcissist, he's such a nightmare 😖😖

[@jennyiedema680]

I don't agree with anything my narcissistic mother says but it still hurts me. How do I not let it in when I have a physical reaction every time I hear her voice?

[@MarisaPeer]

Thanks for reaching out. Sorry to hear of your troubles with your mother. If you wish to seek therapeutic support/self development on this matter, I would advise booking an RTT session with one of our specialist therapists who can discuss your concerns further. You can book this using the link below: rapidtransformationaltherapy.com/findaspecialisttherapist/bookingform/ Marisa Peer Team

[@lovebeautyintegrity6261]

I thought we must not use negatives such as "not " or "don't " as the subconscious does not understand.. so how will "I will not let this in" work if the subconscious does not understand "not" ? Kindly reply

[@MarisaPeer]

Hi there. As soon as you start focusing on yourself, building your self love, self esteem you will then have more confidence to deal with the narcissist and not letting in their negative behavior will come automatically since you'll have higher respect for yourself. We hope this helps. 💖 Marisa Peer Team

[@pantehas2556]

Leave???!!!! What if you have a little one with your narcissist husband and I don’t want him lose his father ?!??????

[@lovebeautyintegrity6261]

my sister is a narcissist

[@AJ-kb9hf]

Mine is a weird combination of a narcs with something else. She is impossible to deal with. I keep well away and laugh at her misery which is not mature on my part but I've had enough of her.

[@louisakemp]

⚘