6 Strategies to Increase Talking and Decrease Tantrums

Dr. Mary Barbera discusses 6 strategies to increase talking and decrease tantrums in childen.
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When it comes to increasing talking and decreasing tantrums, we want to spend 95% of our time preventing problem behavior. However, tantrums and problem behaviors can still occur, so what do you do? I have 6 evidence-based strategies that when used effectively are going to encourage more talking and communication and discourage continued problem behaviors.
I am sharing 3 preventative strategies that you can and should be using day in and day out with your child whether they have an autism diagnosis or not. I also include 3 planned reaction strategies to use when you’re experiencing problem behavior and the safety of the child is not in question.
Get the show notes here:
marybarbera.com/6-strategies-...
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You'll Learn:
-Positive parenting tips to prevent tantrums.
-How to help a three year old who is not yet talking.
-How to react to tantrums.
-3 powerful preventive strategies for problem behavior and tantrums
-3 planned reactions to problem behaviors.
-How to stop reinforcing problem behavior and start reinforcing positive behaviors.
-How attention can unintentionally increase tantrums.
Interested in learning more about parenting and autism, special needs parenting, or other autism and special needs topics in the mental health in children niche?
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Dr. Mary Barbera. I fell into the autism world as an autism mom in 1999 when her first-born son, Lucas, was diagnosed with autism. Since then, she became a Board-Certified Behavior Analyst and best-selling author of The Verbal Behavior Approach. Since 2015, she’s created 3 autism online courses based on applied behavior analysis for professionals and "gung-ho" parents. Whether you’re looking for autism parenting strategies, working with development delays in children, or in search of autism help for professionals, I can encourage you to subscribe to the channel and join me on my journey. I’ll be providing weekly autism resources that you don’t want to miss.
#Autism

[@katerynapoydyuk3925]

Mrs. Mary! You are truly a magician! Thank you for your dedication to such an important subject. 🤗

[@davidwilliams4754]

Definitely helped a lot. Ty

[@usergojogo]

Thank you so much !! I much needed this ❤

[@eyitayooshingboye4719]

Very informative, thanks

[@Notorious.Bree.I.G.]

I am so grateful to have found your channel! Thank you so much for all your efforts, this parenting gig has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and this gives me some hope!

[@marybarbera]

I'm happy you're here! If you're looking for more help, you can find all of my paid and free resources here: MaryBarbera.com/links-yt

[@kulsumabegum3368]

Right, very good learn and understand of the Autism

[@aneesahthequeen]

😍😍❤️❤️💙💙Thank you Mrs. Barbera.. God bless u ❤

[@joeabs4844]

I love your approach. This will be useful for me to help my grand daughter to be able to converse more.

[@marybarbera]

Thank you! Hope you can share your progress with us soon

[@margiedurham650]

You have always been my go to for my two year old great grand son I care for. He is non-verbal and may be aquatic but not confirmed. Thank you Mary for all the information you share with us.

[@marybarbera]

You are welcome! ❤

[@xsisax]

I watched few of your videos before and they were short and kinda lacking real examples so i got the impression that you just want to sell something. That is untill this video, so helpful and very honest. Thank you so much for sharing your expertise and experience with us. You got my subscription.

[@marybarbera]

Thanks!

[@cherylvalero6680]

Thank you for this. I’m excited to start and apply all of this to my son

[@marybarbera]

Best of luck!

[@magdaq8730]

This os the first time I stumbled upon looking for strategies. Great strategies.

[@marybarbera]

I'm so glad this was helpful! My online courses dive much deeper into helping you solve challenging behavioral issues. Learn more by joining a free workshop at MaryBarbera.com/workshop.

[@reginaoglesbee2580]

Soooooo helpful!! Thank you

[@marybarbera]

You are so welcome!

[@edengebrh]

I really like this part, thank you

[@marybarbera]

Thanks

[@farhiyamohamud5466]

Thank you

[@highfrequencyseeker7]

Thank you Thank you this has been a great help today.. Excited to work on the techniques with my son

[@marybarbera]

Thank you for watching! I'm so happy this was helpful to you

[@AJSERIES144]

Thanks for the video

[@marybarbera]

Thank you for watching and for your support!

[@mollyrajcoomar3999]

Thank you God bless you ❤ 🙏

[@marybarbera]

You're welcome and thank you for watching! If you're ever looking for more resources, visit MaryBarbera.com/links-yt

[@edengebrh]

I really like it and get a great job thank you

[@marybarbera]

You are welcome!

[@upasanasharma5750]

My son is 2yrs old and has been diagnosed to be at mild risk. Doctor told us to do ABA and speech at home stop the same at the therapy centre because it's difficult to find a genuine certified ABA therapist here. She has told us to continue with only occupational therapy professionally and rest two at home. Your videos are a great help! God bless you, 🙏

[@marybarbera]

I'm so glad you find my videos helpful! If you're looking to get step- by step help for increasing language and self care while decreasing problem behaviors (all at home), I would highly recommend joining my toddler course and community. For more information about my courses, join a free workshop here: MaryBarbera.com/workshop. Or, jump right into the courses: MaryBarbera.com/courses.

[@nancykmet4164]

I Love Your approach !

[@user-xm6yl8qr7e]

This information very informal. My first time watching Mary you are amazing enjoy so much went over bed time. Join everything to learn behavioral approaches .

[@marybarbera]

Thank you so much!

[@peacepriestess303]

I got the planned ignoring part down good. I end up breaking and upset and yelling because my patience is wearing thin. My son cries about every single thing and its stressing. I will try again to be successful in my planned ignoring. Thank you for this information 🙏🏾💙💫

[@marybarbera]

You got this!

[@helonbaker8104]

Yes! My son cries and whines ALOT. I’m able to handle it maybe 85% of the time but at some point I lose my temper. I’m sure I’ve caused him emotional issues, because I’ve screamed at him out of frustration and exhaustion.

[@HelenHays-ch6xb]

Okay, words fail me I just want to thank GOD for you!

[@MySelf-jh9es]

Thank you very much

[@marybarbera]

You are welcome

[@kristamiller8732]

Our team.. both ABA in home BCBA waiting on our new RBT ... and school BehaviorThetapist love your techniques we've even applied the shhh and give.. this us your passion and it shows. ABA has changed our lives in such a positive way and given our son Dominic who's 5 valuable life skills.. thank you for all you do. You're an amazing extremely knowledgeable person

[@marybarbera]

This comment made my whole day, week even! Thank you so much. I'm thrilled to hear that your in-home therapists are educated in the verbal behavior approach and even more thrilled that your son is gaining important skills!

[@AutisticEdge]

I agree with this comment wholeheartedly! Very knowledgeable. I don’t have any professional working with, I have to research on my own and come up with the techniques based on his needs!

[@Theeventsengineer]

Please go straightbto the point

[@lavender2220]

Great videos. Only suggestion is to market your channels at the end of the video. This went on till 3minutes into your video. I do this for work and trust me, great content drives engagement naturally; too much promotion upfront and you see dropoffs and less conversions. Thanks again

[@Heavens3]

Great tips! Thank you! The third tip though, I usually once he’s calm, I avoid interacting with him fearing that he might start again his demand and behavior. But I'm not sure how positive that is, to be honest.

[@marybarbera]

It's a delicate process for sure! You can learn more by visiting my resources page: MaryBarbera.com/resources

[@francisafoakwah5500]

This is really educative. I wish to have more to help my daughter who is 3 years but not talking

[@marybarbera]

Join a free workshop: marybarbera.com/workshops/

[@HisCubanMami]

Have you tried a bentonite clay detox bath with her?

[@farhaambareen2487]

Thanks

[@marybarbera]

You're welcome! Feel free to visit MaryBarbera.com/resources if you're looking for extra help.

[@tiddlywinks353]

Thank you for the ideas it's a lonely experience... I'm stressed

[@marybarbera]

I totally understand where you're coming from. If you're ever looking for more help, visit MaryBarbera.com/links-yt

[@laceyjoHorne]

So helpful seriously I wish I could afford this course and when I can I'm a take it

[@marybarbera]

We understand the course is an investment. We do offer a mini-course to help increase language. MaryBarbera.com/5days

[@haus.of.masters]

I am trying to find the book you referenced Positive Parenting. Who is the author? There are so many positive parenting books out there & im not sure which is the right one. Thanks

[@marybarbera]

Find it here: www.amazon.com/Power-Positive-Parenting-Wonderful-Children/dp/1567131751

[@kimchau8446]

@@marybarberahow to teach spontaneous language , sentence for 9 years old . Thanks

[@marygoad8719]

Thank you for your help. I have a question though. My daughter recently moved back home with her 3 children including her nonverbal autistic son. We've tried to tell her that while we understand that his Screeching is his only way of communicating it is unsettling for us. Me particularly. I recently had to get an emotional support dog for stress. Our grandsons Tantrums Screaming etc is very unsettling for us but no matter how we try to address it with our daughter she makes us feel that we are in the wrong. He is 7 years old and really doesn't have any discipline not even time outs. When she isn't here and I am I have used it with him and it works but she just reacts to him like come here let me hug you even though he is clearly doing something wrong. Don't get me wrong we love our grandson but out daughter constantly makes us feel as if we are always in the wrong because we want her to show some discipline. Heaven forbid we tell him no or say knock it off! What can we do to get through to her that we love her and our grandchildren but we just can't handle the screaming?

[@marybarbera]

As a grandparent, there is a lot you can do to help your grandchild! Mary did a podcast episode with Grandma Diane, you can take a listen here MaryBarbera.com/37. You can also attend a free online workshop: marybarbera.com/workshop. After learning more, your best path forward is to join our online toddler course and community. We have several grandmothers in our group (and you can share the access with the child's parents). Also, 1/2 of our participants do not have a diagnosis for their children but most do not have good language comprehension when they start. Get all the details about joining our course and community here: marybarbera.com/earlyautism

[@KP-hv4tt]

Youre a normal functioning adult who can’t get a grip or cope with the screaming of an autistic child who’s brain doesn’t know how else to communicate but you expect him to just stop or for tour poor daughter to make him? Listen to yourself. I am praying she gets out of there asap. The lack of support for your own blood is what’s unsettling here. Wow. Y’all don’t sound like grandparents.

[@BROWNIE7053]

This helpful for my daughter with autism. She nonverbal so it frustrating for her and myself trying to understand what she want😢. I'm still learning

[@marybarbera]

I understand. I can help you increase her language skills and decrease any problem behaviors she may have. If you're interested, I have a free workshop that will help you get started. You can find it here: MaryBarbera.com/links-yt under "free resources"

[@taniadalberiste3501]

Hello thanks for the valuable info but nothing comes for link to the show notes

[@MaryLynchBarbera]

Scroll down to the bottom for the show notes: marybarbera.com/6-strategies-increase-talking-decrease-tantrums/

[@corinnemitchell9272]

Awesome, thanks. Very useful.

[@glendav.8159]

Thank you for this video. I am a family consultant, and I have over 15 years of experience. I currently have a teenager who is very aggressive more sensory and non-verbal. But his mother is the person who works with him, she refuses to allow any more to come to work with him. But I see there is a problem trying to find enough motivating reinforcement enough for him, how would you suggest managing that?

[@marybarbera]

Thanks for sharing! Your best path is probably to join our online course and community. Attend a free workshop to see if it's a good fit. Marybarbera.com/workshops

[@zaawilkins6552]

What are the early learner materials that you reccomened

[@marybarbera]

A table and chairs where the child is ideally not strapped in, Mr. Potato head, simple insert puzzles, ring stacker, a couple sets of identical flashcards (no words or letters), 2 sets of photos of familiar people and favorite things (for matching and shoebox), a shoebox with a slit in the middle (for my shoebox program: MaryBarbera.com/shoebox). These are a few of the early learner materials, but to learn how to really implement them effectively, I would encourage you to join my online course and community. To learn more, join a free workshop here: MaryBarbera.com/workshop. Or, jump right in at MaryBarbera.com/courses.

[@DarkAngel-cj6sx]

What to do after a child can label, say what he is labeling, knows his colors, body parts, request things using one word? What next now? I am stuck now. I saw on another video you saying we could start language for learning. Is that right? Asking my son what are you doing he can answer maybe two when he is eating etc but other ones he does say the word instead of the verb. If he open the fridge and I ask him what he is doing he would say fridge instead open etc

[@marybarbera]

Hi there! Have you taken the free digital assessment? That will let you know your child's strengths and needs and then there is a webinar that follows that will help you with creating a plan and taking action! Take the assessment here: marybarbera.com/freeassessment/

[@amyfoltz5756]

OK so I do have a question because you specifically mentioned some stuff that we deal with all the time like during circle time they’re supposed to sit crisscross, applesauce, or they’re rolling all over the floor so if you’re not supposed to tell them not to roll on the floor what do we do?

[@marybarbera]

Attend a free workshop: MaryBarbera.com/workshops

[@user-gp9kj3nt8o]

Hi Madam! How do you think about diet for autistic children?

[@marybarbera]

I have a podcast episode that talks about this: marybarbera.com/functional-nutrition-autism/

[@shellyroeben2923]

Thank you for this valuable golden puzzle pieces . It’s like your on cue what I’m going through lol . Especially with the brother and sister take away growth is progress patients . 8positives to one negative , 🤫 planned ignoring , lol 😂

[@marybarbera]

I'm so happy you identified with this episode! Thank you for watching :)

[@kristamiller8732]

@@marybarbera thank you Mary. We are finishing up module 3.. I'll apply that and complete module 3 as well as look at the assessment. Thank you so much

[@kristamiller8732]

Hi Mary I have purchased your program and my son has been doing ABA we have a bit of a break waiting for a new therapist. One of our biggest problem behaviors is jumping on the couch Another is kicking the dog for the reaction For the couch I remove him and ask him if he wants trampoline or exercise ball and for the dog we ignore it redirect and later show him gentle touches on the dog's head I'm not sure I'm on the right path so I wanted you check in

[@marybarbera]

I'm so happy to have you in my course community! How far into the course are you? Module 2 is all about problem behaviors, the functions of behavior, and how to prevent problem behaviors (as opposed to reacting to them). I love how you're modeling proper behavior around the family dog and doing your best not to react to the behavior you don't like. My biggest advice here is to complete the one page assessment at the beginning of the course and watch through module 3, then begin table time. The more we engage our kids at the table and in the community in a positive and reinforcing way, the less time they'll spend partaking in destructive behaviors or stims.

[@gSWG3R]

​@user-hn5nu2wi4o Oh go away, pathetic.

[@cembersalazar]

My son just looks at me like he has no time to spare on this right now lol. 2.5 no words, all action lol

[@marybarbera]

Joining a course today will be the best course of action! marybarbera.com/courses

[@asramaria5912]

Hi my 6 year daughter is autistic n nonverbal can u guide me how can I help her

[@marybarbera]

Join a free workshop today: MaryBarbera.com/workshop

[@jedisteven1]

What about getting your child to recognize they're name?

[@marybarbera]

We have a free guide here: marybarbera.com/resources/

[@joyful5681]

Idk. During severe meltdowns sometimes reassurance is needed for mine at least to help him calm down

[@marybarbera]

Learn more strategies by attending a free workshop: MaryBarbera.com/workshops

[@JasmineBarbara-iq1lu]

Your herbs has work wonders in my family. Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best. #droyalo

[@tsgroup1892]

My son is 7years. He does say words but cannot make sentence

[@marybarbera]

Attend a free workshop today to start helping your child: MaryBarbera.com/workshops

[@Rockstar12636]

Just like my son

[@sedinam8741]

Same here, have you found any help please 🙏

[@pearlzambrano5241]

Can you model the technique

[@marybarbera]

Join a free workshop: MaryBarbera.com/workshop

[@letsgetdowntobusiness-]

Autism: A very popular niche nowadays.

[@marybarbera]

Cases are increasing!

[@mistye277]

It is wonderful that people are now equipped to identify and help people with autism. Thank you Mary for changing peoples lives for the better!!

[@curnishabalgobin4703]

My daughter is 2years old and i have a strong feeling that she has autism because she is showing all the signs i told her doctor but her doctor told me all kids do those things. My daughter only babbles and she bites herself and others when she is angry or hungry.

[@marybarbera]

I'm proud of you for taking some action on your part to educate yourself and act early! I would encourage you to join a free workshop and take my (free) digital assessment to get a great measure of your daughters' current skills divided into categories--self care, language and learning, and problem behaviors. You can find these resources at MaryBarbera.com/links-yt

[@jewel2647]

My toddler grab me when he tantrum or grab my hands at pull me to what he wants. How do I ignore that. Just don’t pay attention and just let him tug me and stay seated probably

[@marybarbera]

I think this is a great opportunity to teach language. I wouldn't ignore his tugging, but I would see what he's leading you to and then use my 1 word x3 strategy to try to teach the word, then give him the item. Here's some info on my 1 word x3 strategy: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z5q8g4aXgK-nppI

[@anthonyi617]

Shoosh and give...what if nonverbal child will not accept being touched or given anything when having a meltdown? No physical touch either during these episodes.

[@marybarbera]

Your best path is probably to join our online course and community. Attend a free workshop to see if it's a good fit. Marybarbera.com/workshops

[@52weeklyPips]

Thank you

[@kulsumabegum3368]

Thank you

[@marybarbera]

Of course! Thank you for watching.