60 Characteristics of Complex Trauma - Part 15/33 - Negative and Critical

Many who have experienced Complex Trauma develop a negative and critical mindset, where they habitually find fault with almost everything. Why is that so? Is it a big deal? What can they do to change?
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[@sammavacaist]

My parents were both so angry. I feel so sorry for the sensitive, sweet natured child I was born. I became withdrawn and sarcastic and nihilistic like my father. It was almost constant negativity. I feel like I'm starting from zero to change my way if thinking. 😢

[@elizabethy2912]

But, you ARE starting. You deserve to be kind to yourself. I was nasty to myself, until a wonderful therapist said" you're very mean to yourself"- you deserve kindness- nothing else"! She was so gentle and said it so authentically, that I've never forgotten it. I started to catch myself, when I'm beating up on myself, and it has helped me start to like myself, finally. I know I'm not perfect, and never will be, but I can like, and then love myself. I took some steps, and I feel better. Take Baby steps, and you'll see the wonderful results. Better late, than never, right?😊

[@Muck-qy2oo]

@@elizabethy2912 I have ben able to change this for almost 2 years now, until I got into my apprenticeship. Then it started to become worse because all kinds of horrible things came up in my mind.

[@catsandd0gs605]

@@elizabethy2912when you catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself, how do you in that moment correct your thinking? when i catch myself thinking that way i just think “ i shouldn’t be thinking that” but it feels fake and forced.

[@elizabethy2912]

@@Muck-qy2oo Yeah, but you have go into talking positively, like you would yourself as a little kid. Life happens and things aren't going to go perfectly, but you have to find a way to shrug off the goof- ups and give yourself the grace to screw- up. Other people screw up. So, can we, and be okay. It's not the end of the world. Maybe by getting a different perspective by that therapist, helped me to look at ALL my behaviors, and give grace. It feels so much better than beating up on myself- which made me feel horrible-pure misery. I hope you can give yourself grace in ALL circumstances. You're worth it!, just the way you are.

[@elizabethy2912]

@@catsandd0gs605 Yeah. It did, but I found myself faking it until I started to believe it. It feels so much better than the old way. I've found it only gets better the more you practice this kindness thing to yourself. I wish the best to you, and to all the parts of you that may think they need to be beaten up on!!

[@christopherleubner6633]

Dude did an hour video on each of 60 aspects of Complex Trauma 😳 and people wonder why its so hard to heal... 💀💀💀

[@xonoghoroe9848]

When really want something as bad as you want to breath you’ll see stuff like this and think it’s a treasure chest. If you’re not ready you’ll find an excuse. ❤

[@Carollori]

I don’t think there are enough years left for me to heal

[@vicki9806]

​@@CarolloriI feel the same

[@josiahamaze]

Healing is a CHOICE

[@mad9023]

Complex trauma is definately where I am. So glad I came across this wise fella. Let the journey 👣 on the road of healing begin 💟✝️☮️❤️❤️

[@melissachinnici]

I agree it feels weird at first, transitioning to a healthier mindset. One therapist I truly admire always says- if being healthy means being corny, then be corny

[@an0therdimensi0n99]

corny is a great description, perfect word to use for how i feel trying to be positive. i notice as soon as i apply this change in mindset, the universe tries to shit-test me. most people are not content until they get a negative reaction. energy vampires everywhere. i can start my day with 100% patience levels but it is difficult to maintain that level until bedtime. all day long notice your interactions gradually declining in positivity.

[@briane596able]

Corny can get us by, but finding the reality in whatever positive experiences you’re going through can pay ALOT of dividends as time goes along, when inevitably we get stuck again.

[@mobilityproject3485]

The reason why it feels corny is because many of the people that are examples of this are only superficially so. People that might say "wow, that's so great" to a child's project, and then the same week might (censored) their mother for 5 seconds of pleasure, further disturbing their family life. You're not crazy, this culture is out of whack But that's not an excuse to give up, certainly now, now that you're recovering and people are ready to hear the hard truth. You have to instead go deep into the positive, *agape* which is self sacrificing love. Not putting lipstick on a pig, but actually being ready to sacrifice for people. Your readiness will shine through.

[@ShipFantastic]

Dr Kirk Honda 🖤🖤🖤

[@melissachinnici]

@@ShipFantastic yes!! 😭🩶

[@willowwisp357]

CPTSD is devastating. It’s not narcissism but it looks like narcissism, it’s dying inside all the time. Throw in some judgmental religion, physical abuse, and being bullied in school you have entered hell, for life. It destroys relationships, and in the end you realize you’re perpetually alone with nothing but your feelings of abandonment. My life in a nutshell.

[@millymilly8097]

Mine too 😓😔

[@dustinduffy5870]

Same...

[@mweber5459]

Same here. I’m grateful for Jesus in my life though and don’t know what I would do without Him.

[@Hawaiian192]

Ditto 😢 gotta keep trying and fighting for healing tho ❤

[@DaveO2]

looks like it somes all up I'm about to post and almost turn KZbin to Twitter. Thank you!

[@cp9023]

I grew up in a home where my mother was critical about everyone. Listening to the negativity on a daily basis definitely put a dark view on everyone who crossed my path. Thank you for this. I now have a better understanding of this mindset.

[@leahflower9924]

The funny thing is even negative people don't want to be around negative people it's draining

[@billyb4790]

I can relate to this.

[@adl9705]

My mom is the same way, I was never allowed to let my friends come in even to the garage without her freaking out telling me that my friends were after me and stuff, I never had any friend try to take advantage of me or her biggest fear “they will look at your sisters!!” That’s one ugly behavior of her that I didn’t want to have but the more I look at my life the more I think I have the same exact trait. It’s very sad bc that’s not who I think I am.

[@mizread]

@@adl9705 we have to remember that the very fact that we're doing such painful work on ourselves, and seeing their flaws reflected in ourselves, is proof that although our character isn't always what we'd like, we want to be 'good' and not 'bad'. Otherwise, I find myself in a constant loop of rumination and negativity. Remember, we did whatever we did in our lives because we were submerged in this behaviour from the day we were born. That's a long time to be indoctrinated in critical, flawed and judgmental thinking, not to mention guilt and shame.

[@adl9705]

@@mizread so true!! thank you!

[@paulantoine1696]

We can readily trace 5 generations of trauma in my family... no doubt there are many more. Hugely sad. My psychologist once told me I had "unrelenting high standards"... though in me it's mostly of myself, not of others. But man is it hard, at 60, to still be dealing with this stuff... for my brain to **still** not feel safe, even in the loving household that I've created...😢

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

Empathy and respect must be taught

[@wertschaetzungs.booster]

I hear your 💕

[@VeryokayDIY]

❤

[@bananabana8075]

😢 sorry to hear. We’re all out here just trying to love and be loved ❤️🥹

[@JustT0m752]

This guy is really speaking to the hurt that so many people suffer from.

[@makaylahollywood3677]

I walked away from family- after parents are gone. Holidays alone for several years. Reunited with one sibling and her family. I prayed and prayed for this...Thank you God.

[@AnthonyHernandez-je1tx]

I didn’t walk away as much as I was taken away. My younger sister was thankfully adopted and but I lost track of her for years until her 20’s. We eventually lived together as adults as well as some of my cousins. I felt so deprived of family as a child and it was the best feeling I’ve ever had in my life having that time with my family members.

[@kool4209]

Lmfao why you praying to an imaginary god for?

[@johnadede3742]

@@kool4209No need to be mean.

[@TrollWithN3oN]

Not kool mane​@@kool4209

[@BCeleste-fu9rb]

Today on Mother's Day, I recall my Mom being so pleased of the change in me. The changes you talked about cut off the path of hell.

[@Ilovemusic793]

The fact that he can speak on something about complex truama and take the whole concept and pick it out from the Bible is really astounding.

[@SusanLlewellyn-pp2xn]

This is truly awesome. ❤❤❤

[@ARichardP]

My father was angry almost all the time and found fault with everyone, almost never himself. He was extremely critical of us. Total narcissist. I try not to be like him but some of it rubbed off on me. Thanks for this video. It makes a lot of sense.

[@IntentionalityMentor]

38:00 How Do We Heal, change? 1. Start With Mindfulness "chatch tourself becoming negative/critical." Stop yourself and choose to see the possitive. A. ID the patterns B. Choose to stop yourself "is dangerous not to” C. Commit to focus on my issues D. Work towards seeing others Accurately. Have somebody that you trust to help you learn to have a healthy assessment of people.

[@wertschaetzungs.booster]

Tnx 👍🏻💕

[@kool4209]

And not a single person wants to admit “what if those views are correct”. This world isn’t great. You’re paying to live here while every other creature does so freely. You need a license to hunt to feed yourself. Name a wolf that has a up to date license. Wom3n are superficial yet want a man that makes 600k when they provide nothing? What’s the positive in that? 😂😂😂 you’re also the only creatures that have to buy affection. 😂

[@kakyointhemilfhunter4273]

Problem is some of us don't have positives to look at. Being a short ugly guy is nothing to be happy about

[@drsandhyathumsikumar4479]

Amazing how you Analyze with such compassion

[@billyb4790]

I often don't feel like he's being very compassionate when he says it, but I'm willing to admit that what he says hurts because I feel called out :(

[@theinvincibleinvestress]

I noticed that too, there is so much compassion and love in his extremely accurate analysis of trauma! Love and understanding are the balance that are needed for healing...I hope his work reaches many many people.

[@adopteeonamission]

You described my childhood. All of this so heartbreaking.

[@ROOKTABULA]

The SOB in my head rips on me, every thing I do, any mistake I make: 24 hours a day. Literally. Been attacking me for decades. I also catastrophise about what's to come like a pro.

[@KatWoodland]

@ROOKTABULA Which parent ridiculed you verbally?

[@cozypilgrim8530]

It's the same for me. I even keep mental track of the things I did or didn't do in a day.

[@ROOKTABULA]

@@KatWoodland You mean: Which one rdiculed, beat, terrorized, mocked in public, hit in public, denigrated constantly from age 2 to 25 and then made 2 attempts on my life and stalked my spouse and I for 15 months when I was in my mid 30s? The POS who finally died 2 weeks: _"dad"._

[@ROOKTABULA]

@@cozypilgrim8530 I've gotten so bad that I've gone from running a business for decades as an entertainer, being an on call educator for the same 2 decades and having been a recording and gigging musician to a meatbag who is too scared to try anything. it can take me weeks, months or years, literally, to open emails, wire up a piece of gear that needs a repair or even play guitar or a vid game because I'm so sure it'll go badly or that I'll fuhk it up.

[@ROOKTABULA]

@@KatWoodland I replied but the frigging uploader deleted my reply

[@rockpadstudios]

Where were these video's 40 years ago? I'm the poster boy for these video's. I've been lucky that I've been able to heal and now I have a great life. People are so lucky they can get this kind of help easier to help their lives.

[@VeryokayDIY]

Exactly! 👌🙏

[@paulaspiker2578]

I pray that you continue to make these videos. I have watched several of your videos and they have helped me so much. Your are exactly right on everything!!! I absolutely love the Christian piece.

[@kool4209]

Lmfao you christains need to reevaluate your lives. Ephesians 6:5-8 New International Version 5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. 6 Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. 7 Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, 8 because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free.

[@lindsaypeek63]

In this video he literally says he is going to go into a Christian part of the video and if you are not interested have a good evening etc. why even get critical about him doing this on his video? He gives you warning and has every right to talk about his God.

[@silvercloud77]

Po mom mišljenju on to čini iz respekta,ne želi nikome nametati da postane kršćanin,poštuje osobni izbor svakog slušatelja/gledatelja ovog videa.

[@kakyointhemilfhunter4273]

I haven't seen a single person talk about the religious part

[@lindsaypeek63]

@kakyointhemilfhunter4273 that’s great but looks like all those comments are deleted. Which is great since my comment a month ago

[@susansilvey1614]

It gets better when you accept this truth: no one gets what they "deserve"

[@mustafanaser9789]

You don't know how much you are helping many current and future sufferers and not only them but also their friends and families

[@TiffanySloots-Baxon]

It's sad how sick we are as a society. I'm glad this content exists to hopefully heal us all.

[@nancytenbarge687]

Boy, does this ever ring true. It's so subliminal. Unbelievable how accurate he is.

[@jillcookerly6122]

I always look at every situation from a standpoint of, I'm going to be taken advantage of, they're out to get me, I'm being screwed..... etc.

[@NewYasmine-nl9jq]

This man exposed my whole family 💀 I now understand their behavior

[@eastbrecht]

I thought I was negative and critical, but then I found out I was right and now I wish I was wrong.

[@alysonhuculak8608]

This is spot on. I can feel the negativity and being critical in me but was raised that feeling that way was morally wrong so for me it feels like a shame sandwich.

[@js2010ish]

Shame sandwich!

[@billyb4790]

yes! well said! So we get negative about how negative we are lol. Ugh, it's so brutal.

[@sheiladuke3289]

❤ God Bless ❤❤

[@angelacava2414]

Im not sure how this ended up on my for you stuff but CBT helps. I figured this out years ago. I now complain for a day or two then I find a reason to laugh at the crap that happens or goes wrong. Don't dwell on BS and laugh at it. Life gets better when you learn to laugh at crap you can't control. Also avoid all undue drama.

[@rubychurch3466]

At 60 ish I’m still trying to get away from this from my childhood

[@wertschaetzungs.booster]

💕

[@laurita7253]

You are not the only one. Sometime one lifetime is not enough

[@VeryokayDIY]

❤

[@SusanLlewellyn-pp2xn]

Wow! You speak to my heart. To the heart of the abused child as well as confused adult. Glad I stumbled upon you. Have made a note. Tim Fletcher. ❤ and a Christian too! This is just wonderful. Exactly what my spirit needs.. Resonating beautifully

[@TheMickeyBloo]

Oh my goodness! This is profoundly relatable. Being that I'm in the early stages of therapy for complex trauma, this found me at the perfect time. I'm 44 this year and battled with myself all these years after being a victim of SA in my teens. As well as difficulties in my relationship with my parents I've struggled so much. Hearing this hits so much.

[@ClickUp]

You are not alone!❤

[@e3lifeconsultingbrainspott938]

That also comes from being an Empath and not knowing it from childhood. We pick up energy off others and often times it feels very directed at you. Therefore you always feel blamed for everyone else's unregulated emotions. This also contributes to CPTSD....this is why many are triggered to so many things they are triggered by a "feeling" they think others caused them.

[@sarahalderman3126]

Everyone reads other people’s emotions, attitudes, and feelings. Literally a universal thing. It is usually just called being a sensitive person. But you’re correct in the sense that the most sensitive people are the ones affected most by cptsd.

[@CM7777...]

No such thing as an empath. A narcissistic label, an excuse to feel morally and emotionally superior

[@CM7777...]

Empath is a label people use to make themselves morally and emotionally superior

[@CM7777...]

@@augie5970 Triggered. There is no such thing as an empath. It's a narcissistic term that makes them feel morally and emotionally superior

[@neg9801]

It's a defense mechanism we can read people so well because it keeps us safe.

[@gurugirl1397]

I feel you were talking directly to me today...and here I thought I was in a better place with healing, however, I see I'm damaged beyond my capabilities and my tools I need I don't have

[@billyb4790]

This one really stung me as well. I felt totally called out. The good news is we can heal and those tools can be acquired. It might take some time and a lot of work but it can be done. In just 4 months I've really come a long way. I can't wait to see myself in 2 years :)

[@edwardbearjames2916]

Learning about mirror neurons. Careful what we watch online. Add that to what he's saying here

[@SEVENTHREEANDNINE]

We must learn on the journey. I know it feels heart breaking at times. I know it feels overwhelming and that no one cares. Cptsd is a painful experience. we are in healing mode. All I can offer is that when we are depressed, tired of carrying regrets, our body is in a posture like eyeore (Winnie the Pooh lol) stand proud hands on hips.. behind head.. Tony Robbins talks about changing our state. Think of things that we Are proud of even Something small and what feels exciting even a bike ride or a warm meal.. expand on that state change physiology changes emotions and actions. Seeing traits I picked up along the way from a lot of narcy abuse, sometimes feel you have to become it in this system.. isolating avoiding inner confusion yuck! Changing state and having mentors like listening to Tony and not too much on labelling ourselves (bc it feels like how the heck do I change what’s become ‘normal’), helps to ‘overcome’ my negativity doing his priming exercise on you tube almost daily.. we are progressing adding little ‘good’ habits till it becomes who we Are. Even writing down the neggy things I say in my head day to day. Realising that dialogue isn’t helping me to level up out of the past or be who I desire to be.

[@andreamagyar5541]

You do have the tools , look deeper.

[@TheBillaro]

man. tim. you are just exposing my every shhtty part. i'll persevere.

[@BrianSalazar-kn5ng]

😂❤🎯 me too!

[@lo-ul8nq]

My mother acts like this & she is always acts like the victim and blames everyone else and doesn't take responsibility for what she does. She is always puts me down, and she is always complaining all the time. She is negative.

[@pete-bf3op]

Same 🤦

[@Tee-Star]

What kinds of things does she complain about? Do you do as you are told, yet she complains regardless?

[@Muck-qy2oo]

That looks so much like my mother and me. I always look at my failures and I am incapable of seeing positive things in what I do or did. I can not relate to something like success or right things I did. I can only see the bad stuff and I always tried to become better until I got to exhausted with this.

[@robertafierro5592]

Tim is a Genius! This is what I've been trying to find.

[@user-dt7nc8zl8o]

100 % I would not have made some of these connections

[@MrLiamHenderson]

I, too, was rather fascinated at how accurately this man was describing my tendencies. Though, I suspect most or all people experience this to varying degrees. My only question now is what to do about it. Any ideas 💡 ??

[@nunyabusiness757]

I cannot state strongly enough how much this video has helped me. Thank you for this.

[@samiam0422]

I've never felt more understood in my life!

[@kaylaspire2278]

i am so glad i got therapy.. I am able to see the bright side and push back those pessimistic thoughts unless i am truly feeling it. I still have a lot to work on but this video was so validating 😊

[@weronikaw2358]

I can't belive the process of traumatizing a child who then becomes the negative energy wampire themself can be explained so systematically. Btw I relate to all comments saying it's like Tim speaks directly to them. So thankful youtube recommended me this series. Praise God! Good luck to everyone on their healing journey ❤

[@MoJo65879]

This explains me and my life. It is brutal and difficult to have everything thrown at me all at once. But I am glad I found it. I searched for this for 30 years. I got bits and pieces here and there from dozens of books, many therapists, meditation, even hypnosis and Ayahuasca ceremonies. Nothing like this. As loving, spiritual , self conscious and caring as I became in this journey, I am still afraid I passed some of it on to my daughter.

[@sarahcouture24]

Yes, it sure does do a lot of damage to children growing up with a negative and critical parent. That’s why I never feel good enough. Not enough validation and an environment of emotional unsafety will definitely have a detrimental effect on a persons mental health and self esteem when they are raised in this way, i am a prime example.

[@sarahalderman3126]

I agree, it’s incredibly sad, especially since so many go on to hurt their own children, and on and on it all goes.❤

[@sheiladuke3289]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@jmvwegnerpriest]

♥

[@user-xp9wz1nj3h]

I'm afraid I am also.

[@cathyx7202]

I do most of what he said. I have a diagnosis of level 1 ASD from 2022, but I think it’s a misdiagnosis. I think I have something else instead. This video is validation as to why I think I have complex trauma. One of my internship supervisors told me that I couldn’t have complex trauma because what I lived through isn’t severe enough and it felt so invalidating and she’s not even a mental health professional. Listening to this video was very validating. Thank you. ✨

[@ramilv739]

I remember as a 3 year old being chastised by my mom for wetting my bed. Even then, as a child, I was surprised to be punished for something I couldn't control. I currently have every symptom mentioned here. Worst thing is my brain defaults to this thinking. Thou Im working very hard to change

[@G-Confalonieri]

Since my early childhood I felt deeply ashamed to play sports, especially Football ⚽ so that the only goal was not to mess it up, do things right and get out of the match asap before a mistake led to humiliation. I was also bullied, I was chubby. I never got to enjoy an activity in a free way, the shame was always the big monster round the corner. My emotional absent mother and my alcoholic father helped a lot. I would return from school every evening to cry my heart out on my bed, a thing my mother never noticed. My failures as a teenager led to my solitary existence till today almost 42 y/o. I'm struggling with loneliness more than ever before. Though I made certain achievements, the feeling is always the same: I'm not good enough. Failed as an English teacher. Failed in the Company. Failed at the shop I inherited. Failed at love miserably.

[@ipercalisse579]

Hi.. im 40 and in your same position. My life is failure after failure, struggling with mental health at a young age, but nobody cared, and I wasn't diagnosed with depression and AD. My family started to rot inside when I was 11, but from the outside, everything's had to look normal, so a child being manifesting the problem was unacceptable, it was as though I was trained to tell psychologists that the cause of every bad was me. I strongly believed this.. I couldn't even remember the abuse I got, so i started to write it down. But. I couldn't even believe my writings.. I locked myself in a house for decades, unable to study, pursuing a career, finding a job, finding love.. at 30 as I started to go out of the shell, life was horribly cruel to me.. like, I was a joke.. And finally I had an incident which could take my life, instead I remembered all the abuse I got in my life. It didn't make me less miserable. I still feel paralyzed by thoughts of being wrong in anything I do. My mother and father are still my bullies. But I'm here, I'm alive, I'm myself. I take your hand in my hands. Thank you, I am less lonely because of you!❤❤

[@kerryfaden94]

Thanks Praying for hope for us all!!

[@user-em3ej4hg6v]

Tim really connects the dots...through with an understandable delivery. Thank you.

[@fakiriayoub8087]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@BestOffer-ii9ny]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Germany. Really need

[@FabioPioFersini]

Yes, dr.porass. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@ValerianNnaemezie]

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

[@BestOffer-ii9ny]

Is he on instagram?

[@lizethchavez1335]

You described and explained three generations back in me life and my last 30 years of life, appreciate your honest and clear explanation, I see now 🌻

[@DraGnFly007]

One of the BEST narrators bar none! ❤📖❤ Thank you!😊

[@thechipiana]

Don't listen to the haters. Ur videos really helped me.

[@anthonygarcia1148]

I’ve listened to so many other vids from you - but this one is the most powerful even for just understanding others

[@elizabethsharp8699]

You are so good , I have learned over the years to change my self belief after having a traumatic childhood but every thing you are saying is like a booster to my beliefs because you can so easily slip back. Into the negative subconscious beliefs I have just found you but l will be listening to you a lot from now on Thankyou so much

[@laurenowens9671]

wow I am so blown away at how clearly Tim explains everything my life makes so much more sense now. thank you :)

[@MFG333]

My inner voice is not cruel. It's my materialistic, ego tripping, prideful outer voice that is causing the problem. Let your conscience be your guide!

[@wertschaetzungs.booster]

So are you distracting yourself.....

[@MFG333]

​@@wertschaetzungs.boosterI am not distracted. I am completely focused. Those who do not discipline, instruct and correct others when they are in error, do not love or respect them. Love must be tougher and stronger than the worldly forces that corrupt a soul. Some think this is a meanness (your inner voice!?), but it is really just tough love. Speak the Truth with Love (even though it gets you crucified) is a Scriptural mandate.

[@BeautifullyModest]

This is such a blessing.

[@geegeegee7]

This is way too accurate. Thank you so much for doing a full hour of this! You truly are helping so many people to heal. Bless you!❤

[@paulhenryangus3688]

Thank you for the clarity of your analysis. Thank you for addressing the belief system which prevented me going deeper before my therapy. Thank you for the sense of integration, of wholeness, of oneness. ❤

[@elainehiggins713]

My daughter told me recently that the damage my mother did has trickled down to her. That makes me very sad. I tried very hard to prevent that, but apparently I didn’t succeed.

[@bayleeadele9318]

How good that she was able to let you know how something has affected her. These things are so difficult to talk about. Good on you for creating a safe space and being a safe person for your daughter to share her pain

[@darkthoughts1822]

Tim, you are a blessing. With every "Welcome To Another Friday Night", I learn so much about myself. Things I do, but never understood why. So many years of counseling and you have helped me 10x more, and for free. All your videos are gems.

[@rcgrant82]

New to your videos and I am so impressed. Clearly explained and with a positive spin of how to heal. I am not religious and I really appreciate how you are separating out that part so I can choose to stop. Thank you.

[@leahflower9924]

My mom was always looking for danger she always thought people were potential creeps etc. having radar is good but assuming everyone is probably not right was confusing for a kid

[@sarahalderman3126]

Idk in today’s society, more often than not, they are.

[@Ngan.marianguyen]

@16:21 u hit the nail right on its head! By being a pastor i think u must relate to this as well... i spent yearsss trying to please my freaking priest. He was overly critical of everything, to the smallest details.. i felt soo tensed around him like i was so scared of him.. what he said affected almost EVERY part of my life.. until i stopped giving him that power and realized man got his own issues :/ i pray for him tho but like fr he was too much!!😩😩

[@carolgarrett1786]

THIS has been a really good topic for me. It addresses a lot of unanswered questions I have been wrestling with for years. Thank you, Tim👍🙏

[@cyirvine6300]

My mother outlawed laughter in our house! I think she imagined it was at her. 😢 such a sad prison i grew up in.

[@ericarae84100]

What a shame. I'm sorry 😢

[@blauboogiefff3729]

I am startimg to heal with your lectures Thank you

[@4priyajadhav]

Glad I came across your video Sir. You were reading my mind ....Such an incredible video. I inherited this negative complex trauma from my mom. Have been going through hard time dealing with it. Now I understand why. God bless you for this guidance ❤

[@haidyyousif2125]

On The Point as Usual. BIG THANKS ❤ TIM

[@js2010ish]

Brilliant lay-out, a cptsd masterclass

[@SheilaLS]

This is incredibly helpful for me. Thank you.

[@thomasshaw9363]

Hope is a great antidote.

[@Luphifree]

Wow so much to learn and work on so much knowledge

[@C-Span222]

Thank you so much. You have blessed and helped me in every way.

[@jennifergahan4783]

These videos are incredibly insightful. I find them extremely helpful,thank you for sharing your gift.

[@strwb8361]

I agree with all of this!!! I was born to a young mom and her father had just abandoned our family. My mom is diagnosed manic depressive bipolar. I grew up always wanting to help my mom and I still do It’s been a hard relationship and it’s left me with depression and a lot of resentment and anger. So, an OCD narrator that’s very hard to control. Thankfully 40 grams of Celxa and vyvanse is the right mixture. lol But I’m continuing to learn more things about psychology, growing in my faith and that has helped me heal more than anything! Love and the willingness to learn new things so we can understand on how to improve. I just want human better for my own daughter. 🙏🏼

[@Kathyyyyy123]

God bless you! Thank you 🙏🏾

[@chanslorvalorum6905]

Some people simply need a break. Some people are dumped on with way more problems than others. Many of these bad traits that manifest are variable and temporary. Only a fool says., “Everyone has problems” Or “Everyone is busy” This ignores the wildly disparate troubles which befall people.

[@sstritmatter2158]

This is completely fascinating and so awakening

[@julissarivas6992]

All of your videos are so helpful. Thank you

[@justthetruth247]

Some real life changing advice in this video 🙏

[@silvercloud77]

Vrlo kvalitetno objašnjeno.Hvala puno🤍

[@iamwabisabi3711]

Unreal how accurate to myself this is... I'm shook. Every.single.video.is.accurate.

[@josephzsoka874]

Great info... my dad died when I was 16, then had to deal with a negative and bitter mother. I'm 56 now, single, and still have difficulty relating to people, still struggling with my negative attitudes and simmering anger.

[@CM7777...]

Life happens

[@jordybpeterson9046]

Thank you soooo much! I never knew this and it explains my entire family.

[@forgiven222]

I just appreciate you so much. Thank you for such clarity and bringing it all in such an easy, digestible and emotionally stable way that it is easy to just reflect on. I also appreciate the Christian reflections. They are so meaningful to me.

[@carolgarrett1786]

👍💖

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

Men love to be appreciated. Make sure you tell your man

[@sheiladuke3289]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@Odin50Cal]

This video is one small piece of my puzzle. Awesome wisdom and details. I hope I can use any of it.

[@SEVENTHREEANDNINE]

We must learn on the journey. I know it feels heart breaking at times. I know it feels overwhelming and that no one cares. Cptsd is a painful experience. we are in healing mode. All I can offer is that when we are depressed, tired of carrying regrets, our body is in a posture like eyeore (Winnie the Pooh lol) vs standing straight head up, proud, hands on hips..or hands behind head.. Tony Robbins talks about changing our state. Think of things that we Are proud of even Something small and what feels exciting even a bike ride or a warm meal.. expand on that state change physiology changes emotions and actions. Seeing traits I picked up along the way from a lot of narcy abuse, sometimes feel you have to become it in this system.. isolating avoiding inner confusion yuck! Changing state and having mentors like listening to Tony and not too much on labelling ourselves (bc it feels like how the heck do I change what’s become ‘normal’), helps to ‘overcome’ my negativity doing his priming exercise on you tube almost daily.. we are progressing adding little ‘good’ habits till it becomes who we Are. Even writing down the neggy things I say in my head day to day. Realising that dialogue isn’t helping me to level up out of the past or be who I desire to be.

[@stephanierichardson5623]

This is an accurate description of my mother. I am really trying to understand.

[@georgecarenzo3890]

There’s so much talk about complex trauma that it has become overwhelmingly complicated to the point where you just lose any interest in it. What bothers me more than anything else, is that they talk about trauma ad nauseam, but I have yet to hear from psychologists, psychiatrists, and psychotherapists about the direct means by which a person can free himself or herself from trauma. For the love of God, what are the direct psychotherapeutic means by which a person can liberate trauma? And if a person has trauma, say, from childhood abuse, and another person gets it from a car accident, since they are both trauma, why shouldn’t there be a psychotherapeutic method that addresses trauma regardless of its origins? Apparently, Pastor Fletcher developed a list of 60 Characteristics of Complex Trauma. Really??! OK, and what has he developed in order to free oneself from trauma? Does he know what it means to be a wounded healer? Does he know what legitimate suffering means? I’m almost sure he doesn’t know either one because he’s never experienced it. I’m sick and tired of hearing mental health providers and pastors talk about all manner of suffering yet say nothing about how to heal it. For Christ sake, where are the Carl Jung’s and Freud’s of today? Why is it taking so long to address trauma? What makes us think that we cannot free ourselves from trauma? Mental health providers are stuck with their own retrograde psychological theories that simply don’t work. In fact, it’s making people suffer even more than they already are. Another thing that upsets me is that whenever you see a therapist, the onus is on you for having trauma yet nothing is said about the social-economic and political world we live in that causes trauma. They regard these forces as a difference that makes no difference when in reality it makes all the difference. You cannot develop your emotional, psychological, and spiritual potential if you’re living in a sick society. If the vast majority of people knew just how bad it really is, they would be mad as hell about and create movement so large, it would make the civil rights movement pale by comparison. Needless to say, I’m not hopeful towards the future. if we don’t deal with the dark side of capitalism, politics, religion, families, and find the means to develop our full, creative potential, the future of humanity looks quite grim.

[@giuliapriscilla3498]

You could read “the body keeps the score” a book by Bessel Van Der Kolk in which he explains the impact of trauma on body and also suggest different techniques on how to approach the journey of healing. He states clearly that in order to heal trauma you have to work on your body, mind and soul together. Dancing, practicing yoga (or Thai chi, capoeira…), journaling, taking care of an animal… very useful and insightful

[@giuliapriscilla3498]

Another book that helped me deeply was You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, with a more holistic approach

[@LunarFrequenciesHD]

Thank you so much Sir, for these incredibly informative videos. God bless you.

[@jrortiz7028]

Yes thank you please keep making them

[@deborahmarie6768]

Thank You so much!!

[@billyb4790]

I struggle to see things any other way. Where I come from, being negative was "smart". If you were any other way than negative, you were a fool and a phony. I'm not sure how to break free from this in any authentic manner, but I'm trying.

[@tulinbeyduz920]

maybe ask is this helping me or hurting me ❤

[@billyb4790]

@@tulinbeyduz920 great advice. Thanks!

[@jmvwegnerpriest]

♥

[@tulinbeyduz920]

@@billyb4790 welcome 🙏

[@matthewmaguire3554]

Irrational patterns operate independently of rationality…?

[@Stokerb23]

The most amazing and powerful video I have ever watched. Thank you so much for putting it all together for me ❤️‍🩹 on my healing journey!

[@sheiladuke3289]

❤😇 ❤

[@chanslorvalorum6905]

My job as an inspector is to find fault., point out what’s wrong., be critical., Yikes.., Turn off that mindset when you get home to your family. !

[@drunkenwilly22]

I identify with most of the things he said. You saved me a lot of therapy money

[@BeholdIamaNewCreation]

Thank you this was very helpful

[@giuseppezambotti8576]

Because it is sincere and tries to make me grow. Pirla.

[@Sophie-vp3cg]

wow your work is really great 👍💪, bravo.

[@JohnS_mith]

In this current day, never allow sociopaths and psychopaths to gaslight you into silence or into smiling like a Manchurian candidate, if or when you notice their negative deeds or the actual unsafe nature of your current environment. Maslow's hierarchy of needs requires you to be situationally aware and act accordingly as a foundational requirement before you can build anything else upon it.... Once you are in better safer circumstances, (which may require significant time to get there...blighted zone, abusive caretakers/family, famine, drugs, gangs, war, etc...) then you can take in your newer safer stable surroundings to hopefully de-stress and recharge your batteries...because you can't remain at a 10 on "red alert" forever....lol. 1. Proper balanced situational awareness 2. Seek and attain a truly safe and secure environment. 3. Maintain balance. Noticing danger and red flags isn't you malfunctioning...but staying 24/7 on high alert in a bad situation will drain your batteries. 4.Getting to safety may take time...years and years. Don't let anyone unfamiliar with your level of experienced violence lecture or guilt you into....blind, dangerous, ignorance/learned helplessness...even if they have several degrees, titles or Ferraris in their garages. You can only heal and progress when you are truly in a solid stable safe environment with solid stable safe people. 5. Work to insure your situational awareness sensors are working properly (balanced), then trust yourself. God bless.✌️