7 Signs An Avoidant Loves You

Not sure if your avoidant is emotionally invested? Here are 7 signs to look out for that indicate they value your presence in their life, and deeply care about you.
Chapters:
00:00 Intro
00:35 Sign 1: They Initiate Contact
01:28 Sign 2: They're Consistent
02:04 Sign 3: They Open Up
03:02 Sign 4: Supportive Actions & Acts of Service
04:19 Sign 5: Respect for Your Boundaries
04:50 Sign 6: Attention to Detail
05:25 Sign 7: Growth in Intimacy
06:09 Some Considerations
07:15 Book a 1-1 Session
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[@Serenity.Stephi]

10 years ago, as an anxious attacher met my fearful avoidant. At times, he leaned more anxious, and at times he leaned more towards dismissive. One thing that never changed was our consistency on trying to better ourselves. We fluctuated so much throughout our relationship, but we learned our triggers. I’ve become secure with certain things that could trigger anxiety and he’s become secure with certain things that could trigger dismissive or anxious. I’ve had so much fun in our relationship despite our hardships, but we’ve grown and I love him so, so much. My sister is also, a FA and learning our triggers helped mend my relationship with her as well, and we’ve never had a better relationship!

[@Serenity.Stephi]

I love my FA’s ❤️

[@healingwithcharlie]

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad you both were able to learn so much during your time together. Wishing you all the best :)

[@0Demiyah0]

Summary and reflection on my own situation: 1. They initiate contact Mine actually takes the initiative 80-90% of the time. 2. Consistency He was very consistent in his communication, barely "deactivated" 3. Opening up He does share so much with me both of the bad and the good and says that I am more close to him than anyone 4. Supportive Actions This is his preferred way of showing up. I don't have a lot of requests, but when he can be the hero he likes to be. 5. Respect for Boundaries Yes, this has always been fine by default. 6. Details He remembers them better than me for sure. 7. Growth in Intimacy Ehh, I am not sure on that one. I think on a mental and emotional level he has grown in the connection, but we're not very physically intimate nor does he express his love in words.

[@jlee-d7339]

He has done all of these 😢 which makes it even harder for me b/c I’ve been working hard to walk away

[@tidus37]

I feel like a lightbulb went off! I think I’m a fearful avoidant, but I always try to let my partner know that I deeply love them very much - even if it’s not verbalizing it. But I feel like I need to step up to the plate and do a lot more

[@dianaballon0210]

Thank you for this video ❤ I do see all of these in my avoidant partner. I see his pure and loving heart and I adore him so much… it pains me that he is too fearful to truly show himself. I try to be a safe space and go slow.

[@healingwithcharlie]

I’m wishing you all the best with your partner! :)

[@inayulia2160]

Well at least, i found all the signs. Its enough to knowing that the feeling was there.we are mutual in feelings. Its enough for me to close the chapter. As your previous video, you really made me realize that yeah he gave everything i needed to move on now. The times, the space, the effort to reply to my message at the early 1-3 days break up, closure, and everything. Thanks charlie for dropping the video and making all of these make sense. As an anxious attacher with fear of abandonment, i never feel this peaceful with break up. Lets continue the healing journey 🥹🖤

[@nimishapathak199]

Beautifully covered! All points apply :)

[@Hamidakurniawati]

Hi Charlie, it is very good video and so clear, appreciate on how it's well explained! But what can we do to face this avoidant behavior, what I learned from you, we just need to take everything slow and be gentle to him, and trying to support him while he is being vulnerable to open up, or how? And what we can do during a no contact period, do we need steadfast for a while and busy ourselves? I'll appreciate if you make a video of that, or if does so, where I can see that, big thanks :)

[@gayleneflower398]

yeah, like on line women.....monkey branching....they jump around, play games. They give you acts of service, then get resentful and tell you that you don't reciprocate....Then get mean and use that as a reason to discard. Also, threaten constantly to break up, making one extremely anxious, runs away, "tests" you all the time. In my case 5 years, I couldn't handle it any more, but thank you, I appreciate your input and thoughts. I just couldn't do it anymore

[@pattiking]

I agree about remembering details - but not about dates and stuff like that. He always remembered preferences, or knew how I’d react to things, or remembered how I felt about this or that - but he fucking sucked at dates 😂 (didn’t really bother me at a certain point, because I noticed that he sucked at dates with pretty much everybody - wasn’t personal)

[@healingwithcharlie]

LMAO shots fired! At least it wasn't a personal experience limited to you 🤷‍♂️

[@pattiking]

😂😂💯

[@stecaroline]

Hi Charlie, could you make a video about big events for avoidants? Why they disappear before a big or special event and how could we handle this?

[@healingwithcharlie]

By a big event, I'm assuming you mean something like a wedding, anniversary, or social meet up of some kind?

[@stecaroline]

@@healingwithcharlie Yeah, social events! I refer about my 30th birthday party, which he would have to be near my friends, he just disappear, didnt say happy birthday. Its been a month and a half and i havent heard not even a word from him since then. Dont know if its a break up, its confusing, he just ran away

[@pattiking]

@@stecaroline😩😩

[@healingwithcharlie]

Absolutely! I'm always working on an AMA type video soon based on questions in my comments, and I'd be happy to include it in the video as well :)

[@ashleyobrien5791]

@stecaroline my DA, had a stunt jump event and he did not invite me, or tell me the date of, I ended up showing up to surprise him, but remained hidden until after the stunt was over ! This was televised …. His boss and older sisters were there. He said when I asked him about it beforehand that I would make him more nervous by being there🥲 When I saw him afterwards he was calm and said he was glad I did come, but he didn’t say anything about me staying to meet his family …. He asked me what my friend who attended with me for moral support and I were doing now after - like get out of here … we left and let him have his moment …. It’s definitely difficult dealing with an avoidant , who doesn’t yet connect the need for a SO to be there…. Perhaps next time they will be more used to the idea of social setting. But, I have only met his son and he met one of my friends for the first time that night…. We have been together almost 2 years

[@Banbajio___]

My anxious avoidance ex didn't remember anything i told her😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@user-ov9cq4hj9i]

You have right...the avoidands are different... Mine is stingy,have borderline and narcissism.....so the most of them are more end that..

[@tonyr8686]

After 4 months and a half since her provocked rupture we have been together, kissing us and blessings hours a couple of days, just this week, i'd say better than ever really we are, if she's (avoidant) is with other guy, maybe i hope rebound... The connection is re turning on growingly i feel

[@mateovazquez6685]

is english your first language

[@kaitlin8669]

Well I guess he never liked me