7 Signs Of A Narcissist's Entitlement

[@christanom7484]

It's difficult to explain to someone who has never lived with a narcissist just how deplorable they are.

[@76482]

I think it takes a life trauma or something extraordinary to reach the realization that a supposed trusted loved one is a narc, until then the typical person keeps trying to normalize and make sense of those narc behaviors.

[@ptyrrell54]

I have had that experience...other people just don't get it.

[@ptyrrell54]

​@@76482 I like your phrase "trying to normalize and make sense of those narc behaviors". That's exactly what I have been doing for forty years. And it's draining. As you said, "it takes a life trauma" to realize what you're dealing with: a narcissist. My "life trauma": catching him making out with my disabled son's assistant....in my kitchen....at 7:00AM. That did it. Kicked him out of the house. And we are now in the process of a divorce.

[@christanom7484]

@@ptyrrell54 good for you

[@afakkobyab5982]

walking on eggshells.....

[@carieyounginsurance]

The narc doesn't care about anything you think, feel or want!!

[@chineseslaves1971]

They are drama kings and queens in the attempt to cover up their complete worthlessness, and distract you from that.

[@crissyharding-gac7523]

Agreed

[@bonniey7299]

@@chineseslaves1971If they, (the narcissist), can keep your attention focused on,"what they claim other people around them are doing wrong," then it makes the narcissist think, that you can't see, the multitude of things, that the narcissist is doing wrong.

[@paulclinton6414]

They do care about how you feel. They want you to feel pain.

[@paulclinton6414]

@@chineseslaves1971 Narc says no one will know how crazy I am if I can get a human to take my bait and look temporarily even more insane than me.

[@user-nh7ll3qp2o]

1. acting nice on the surface, then expect an accolade 2. feel betrayed when you have separate opinions 3. hold grudges for a long time 4. pretend they agree with you in order to get you to do something for them 5. incapable of pondering the meaning of your emotions 6. thin-skinned 7. unbending in preferences

[@rahrahrobbbieee]

Thanks.

[@abemontes2518]

Never in my life I thought I would be battling like this.

[@amygrant8812]

Same here.

[@speedskater5613]

Same.

[@shannon9780]

Stay strong and keep watching these videos to keep yourself grounded in reality. It does get better after you get away and completely shut off all contact (if possible).

[@debraanchante3661]

Abe Montes none of us could ever imagine that we’d find ourselves living this nightmare that we can’t wake up from. How did I get trapped in this mess?? How??

[@seckhoffable]

It blows my mind too.

[@charliebubbles9501]

With a narcissist it’s give and take.....we give and they take. Emotionally, physically, financially. Not a game I’ll ever play again.

[@daleszabo5032]

Yes indeed

[@m0L3ify]

My mother held grudges against me for the rest of her life for things I did when I was 3 years old. Three!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Maybe that's as high as her reasoning can go. Three. Dr. C

[@m0L3ify]

@@SurvivingNarcissism Yes, we were both emotionally 3 when I was 3 and she was 40. The difference is, I grew out of it and she didn't. I realized that in my 30's when I found out she still held all the old grudges, even though I'd always assumed she was just having a bad parenting day at the time. nope. BPD is a horrible thing. Thankfully, she's passed on now and is in a better place. No more emotional manipulation. We're both finally free. :)

[@gaylaaucoin9667]

So very sorry sweetie 😢

[@victoriapalferez-siri5952]

Last time I had a huge fallout with my mother now elderly was because of money. I think she don't get the part of my name in it means is mine neither the family. Then match make me with one 10 times worst, a professional beggar. Others are worst than that in the world now days they pretend to be you and live with your name, credit and all meant for you or you work for. Then people wonder why I work so much....is called the others

[@amber40494]

@@m0L3ify my mother and siblings too!

[@LarissaBedrick]

Everything they do for you demands appropriate appreciation and is proof of how caring and selfless they are. Everything you do for them never happened or doesn’t “count”...because they are ALWAYS keeping score (in their favor, of course). They will make sure they always “win” at this game no matter what you do. They deserve points for everything. But they are sure to find a reason why you don’t.

[@Amberlyntwin]

Larissa Bedrick too accurate! what’s ours is theirs but what’s theirs YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH! help me! i don’t need you! such backwards people 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@dcat2004]

“You don’t have to play along”. Amen! Thank you!

[@sherrim4067]

They are very transactional, and if you exclude them on a decision, it becomes an " attack". If it's not their idea, they assume you will fail.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Yes, You and I are on the same wave length. I have a video, Narcissists Seek Transactions, Not Relationships. Dr. C

[@sherrim4067]

@@SurvivingNarcissism I will check it out. Oh by the way let me know when you are lara are doing another workshop, I can't attend on Jan 20th. But I hope to attend one in the near future and have you both sign the books.

[@clairobics]

Yes, how arrogant to assume others' ideas are somehow 'lesser' than theirs. Someone needs to tell them everyone is unique and everyone has valid ideas! Except they'd never believe it!

[@stevejohnson747]

Most likely if they have any influence they will make sure you fail.

[@shannon9780]

(#1) When they become cooperative, and ESPECIALLY when they become civil, watch out

[@hopesmith4484]

Dr Carter you have 54 likes and there are still 8 hours to go! That's how confident we are that you're going to say something helpful and good.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

That makes me smile. Dr. C

[@harleyquinn5774]

This helps me appreciate the Cinderella story more. It takes a great deal amount of bravery and strength to continue to be gentle and kind to others when you have someone who mistreats you the way a Narcissist does.

[@taraarrington2285]

Then they really hate you. Just keep shining.

[@mbaratucci13]

Oh my gosh this is exactly what I'm dealing with! I'm exhausted!

[@diazmtothen7979]

Mary Baratucci: me too 🥺😣😔

[@mbaratucci13]

@@diazmtothen7979 I'm sorry. Hang in there. ❤

[@corinanoah544]

Me too and that is why I'm done. It never gets better.

[@davidmunson1154]

Me too. I have been through that ALL of my life!

[@dmix2263]

Time to get away

[@MORCOPOLO0817]

I had a roommate in college that was the text book case of narcissism. He thought because he wanted to listen to his music when the lights were out and we were supposed to be sleeping, that he was entitled to. I told him to use his headphones if he wanted to listen to music. He said , "I don't wanna!" Just like a spoiled little brat that he was!

[@dyoung2739]

All of this is so true. My soon to be ex narcs sense of entitlement and constant need for accolades is so annoying. Can't believe I put up with this over 30 years

[@adrianrosas5741]

D Young 30 years? Dang I can’t even imagine....

[@dyoung2739]

adrian rosas Its unreal💔and unbelievable.

[@1ajtg]

D Young. I did for 35 years and didn't know what I was dealing with until Feb last year. I've never felt so stupid but now realise that he was a Covert and no one else had figured it out either.

[@dyoung2739]

Audrey Gorman I didn't realize it until this year. I was so caught up in "opposites attract" . I was so shocked. My narc is textbook. I hate to be facing divorce so late in life but I look forward to having my peace back.

[@1ajtg]

D Young You will have peace which is a huge deal. I wish you strength and future happiness...

[@tawnytuppence5573]

“You don’t understand my needs for special treatment.” Very enlightening video, Dr. C. Thank you for delineating my responsibility in these types of relationships.

[@AustraliaUnmasked1984]

He is one of the best. This guy is like the father I never had but needed!

[@rhondamarshall4152]

They'll accuse YOU of being entitiled when they are entitled to the max themselves!! LOL

[@susansherlock7474]

It's called projection..

[@marcirobins5144]

That's the deflection-projection play. Listen for it, but don't respond to it.

[@bygrace2me]

Oh yes. In our business-related separation, her lawyer told her at point that I was entitled to certain assets during the separation. She turned that into accusing me of developing this unhealthy sense of entitlement and that her lawyer had "helped" her see that this was the core of our problem!

[@chamomiletea9562]

@@bygrace2me It is so sick--the way they twist and convolute everything to make you look like the bad guy.

[@AustraliaUnmasked1984]

@@susansherlock7474 so if she is accusing me of seeing other women its safe to assume shes seeing other men? If the answer is yes then I'm 100% giving up on modern women!

[@shewins3775]

To uncover a covert narcissist- tell them their behavior hurt you and watch how they respond. If they don’t apologize, get sarcastic, switch the focus to you, belittle you in some way,start an argument, this person is not fair at the minimum in disagreement, and it clearly showcases that they think you are beneath them. I decided at that moment I wanted nothing else to do with her, bc this is how you will act whenever I tell you you hurt me??? I’m good. It doesn’t matter I knew you 10 years.

[@AnimalsMatterMorally]

Oh my God that just clarified something for me in a nutshell: I didn't want to accommodate her need for special treatment anymore.

[@Miss_Wonderful1]

I can try and guess some signs. 1) what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine too. 2) If I do things around the house is not because that's what anybody would do, but because you're a slob. 3)I don't need to change, I'm perfect as I am. 4) I WANT this new toy (TV, phone, laptop, camera etc) even though we're struggling with money because I want to be happy. 5) You're not suffering because of me; you're overthinking, overreacting and oversensitive. I'm looking forward to watch the video!

[@sherrim4067]

Wow gargoyle very good, have you been listening in at my house?

[@Miss_Wonderful1]

@@sherrim4067 😂 The irony is that each narc believes they're original and unique LOL

[@confidence763]

That was right on key I’m going through the same thing

[@Miss_Wonderful1]

@Mantralightofangels It's like having to do with a young kid with a temper 😑

[@lovinglatonya3499]

Oh I just kicked the narc out for all those reasons. Have no job yet bitch about chores. My son is home on Christmas break from his second year of college and all I heard was how much cereal he eats while home 🤷🏽‍♀️...he’s going to school and works in campus. While he has no job, no driver’s license.

[@tamboura6573]

The most thin-skinned you can imagine, and at the same time accuse you of being hyper sensitive and thin skinned when they say or do things that were literally intended to undermine or hurt you. So true.

[@salliegallegos918]

Exactly. A colleague said that I was condescending because I didn’t react to her antics that were intended to rattle me. In other words, she became enraged because I didn’t play along. Another started sending me insulting messages on social media because I wouldn’t play her games. It’s tough when we have to work with people who thrive on trying to make others suffer.

[@darlenerego70]

It's so hard accepting he doesn't care! Since it's true, I guess the sooner I accept this the better off I'll be.

[@meganmoore9811]

Npd is like a magician in my case, focuses people's attention on my faults, blowing them up, so they don't have to be accountable for theirs. Really revels in someone else's misfortune.

[@statewidefilms]

All sounds to familiar.

[@ByeBye-yx6ym]

Wow!!! Especially #5. That’s what nails it on the head above all else in my humble opinion. And you really have to to be aware of it because they are very good at making you look like the problem. They only care about how they feel. They NEVER stop to ask why you do things the way you do or more importantly there is more than one way to do something. Everything else they do silent treatments, my way way or the highway, whatever else they throw at you are defensive mechanisms. It took me a long time to figure it out.

[@unapologeticella4540]

They want u to live your life by their rules u are living their lives not yours so u loose yourself and that's their goal.they also have no boundaries 0 respect for privacy.

[@ellenl.r.p.obrien4661]

Exactly. What you said there was spot on; 'You're living their life not theirs.' So how dare you do anything they didn't previously instruct you to do. What a dishonor it is to them to find out that you don't see yourself as their chew toy or play doll. They see your humanity as malevolent and their malevolence as a superior definition of what it is to be a human.

[@sherrim4067]

My narc got furious when I write in my journal. He says none of it can be " true". The journal helps me with reality and I write about other stuff besides him.

[@natthebratster]

Ellen L. R. P. O'Brien I think they see traits such as empathy and compassion as weaknesses or stupidity. “Oh he/she was generous-new target!!” They’re all f*ckerz excuse my French please.

[@natthebratster]

Ella best Narc comment-EVER!!

[@1ajtg]

Ella Suarez You end up a passenger in their vehicle of life. If you allow it to go on maybe because you love them, you end up in an untimely crash. Your left bewildered, shocked, hurt and everything you thought you knew about them isn't real. They were only ever interested in themselves 100%.

[@Miss_Wonderful1]

I love your videos. They keep helping me never to think ever again that "I could have done this, I could have said that".

[@nothankyoujustlookin7550]

@The Gargoyle I totally agree! I spent 24 years trying to be what he needed with no change from him. Last year I found my way to information about npd and yada yada yada, my divorce will be finalized soon. (Seinfeld reference)

[@sherrim4067]

So true, I guess I was so confused in previous years because I just never spoke or hurt any one like that. But it's normal behavior in him. I'm wise to it now. Shock and awe is over. I won't get in the ditch and fight with him,.not going to do it.

[@chineseslaves1971]

I’ll point out some things I noticed. 1) Inconsiderate of the other person they are working with. As they can’t manage their life well, they won’t manage people in a workplace well but could fluke in to an upper level through looks. The whole dept will be brought through a bad drama lasting their whole duration and many will lose jobs, including the narc. The narc will have many enemies for being relentlessly unfair. They will follow him to his grave until they see some sort of justice. Others hire lawyers. Narc is surprised because he’s not too smart. Narc ends up in jail and/or legal proceedings. Narc is always involved in financial crimes, be it in a personal or “professional” level. Narc thinks he owns the place and he represents himself vs. the organization. Narc can cause deadly physical symptoms in employees ranging from all over body welts, heart attacks, mental breakdowns, etc. He will set up and falsely charge others of crimes and will do this to more then one employee. He will not care if his victim has any medical condition. 2) There is an expectation that others should take care of them even though they did nothing to deserve it and are known to not offer anything in return. They were never looking for a friend, but a person to use. 3) Their retaliation for your rightful response for their unfair, outrageous demands shows no self reflectance of what they’ve done wrong and is severe and dangerous on many levels and you will not see it coming. Sadly they don’t look like the monsters they are. You could end up on an operating table, broke, or crippled for life in one or a variety of ways. They recruit others into it. This can lead to perjury, jail, more job losses. 4) No self control, like to be serviced for everything (an expense they can’t afford). Very spoiled. Whatever they want, they take. Self centered. They can come from poor or be poor and they end up poor. A financial disaster in their own life and if allowed, in yours. Not caring about your welfare has the same bad effects that bad intentions do. The fact is they will do what they want for themselves at any cost to you. 5) Act like they have rights they don’t, this also goes into breaking serious policies and laws at work. For them, life is supposed to be magical, and real solutions are not had by them, only real problems. Lack of boundaries practiced which jeopardizes people around them. If they can’t be the center of attention for something good they will be for something bad. They are low. Later have some shame, not the extent they should. 6) Think others are dumb (and underestimate them), will try to ruin their life when they don’t get what they shouldn’t expect. 7) Failure to grow up and be responsible, moral, people. Child inside an adult body. Scary.

[@tammyw.4779]

Paradise where can I find this information you posted? Thank you

[@leanita7549]

You have hit this nail on the head with PRECISION! Agree 100%.

[@gunthroiddergai4844]

Leanita 75 Narcissist are hard to deal with but most of them are not this stupid. They seem far more calculated and perceptive of the future so I doubt there going to get into trouble with the wrong people. I haven’t seen a narcissist lose tremendously in my life so far and I kinda think they always end up “Winning” and getting the best of others. At least I’ve always got the short end of the stick when dealing with them.

[@leanita7549]

@@gunthroiddergai4844 Yes, this won't be a "one-size-fits-all", but - very unfortunately - I have had to deal with a range of 'these', in all different Life sectors. In my opinion, there are all types of 'intelligence' and 'smartness'. A lot of the time, we may not even know how they get caught up in their own issues, because they hide their own ish, whilst continuously pointing the finger at everyone else's. That façade is going to get maintained at ALL costs! Believe me, they STAY losing, even when it looks like a win, IMHO. 🙃

[@sherrim4067]

Sounds like a office manager I worked for, very briefly.

[@mday3821]

A true good person does good things and don't need for anyone to acknowledge it. It's just who they are.

[@TheAncksunamen]

Although both narcissists are gone from my life, one of them 100% no contact and the other one who just recently passed, I will always have you remain on my journey Dr. Carter. You've been there from the beginning and helped me tremendously. I know I have a very long road ahead in healing and getting through 46 years of abuse, but I'm trying to start. Thank you Dr. Carter, as always. My love to Gus. 🥰

[@Nancy-yw1rr]

IMO, narcs don't slow down progress in relationships, they actively prevent it, and then blame their partner for the lack of it.

[@Paid2Win]

Wasn't your fault, ya know.

[@millymilly8097]

Wow, that’s right to the point!! Bravo!!!

[@analou3357]

Talking about entitlement, I live in a situationship w a narc. My brother passed away last month, and I was too down to cook or get out of my room pretty much... He decided to get angry and give me the silent treatment, without asking if everything was ok first... We sleep in separate rooms, so I pretty much didnt speak to the narc for almost 3 weeks, since I noticed the anger and I was too weak to fight.. Then he finally knocked on my door angrily and demanded we have a conversation. He started questioning me on why I was walking around his house "entitled" and stopped cooking for him, doing his laundry and chasing him around like before. That he felt manipulated (??) and wronged for my actions. Then I expressed what had occurred w my brother. Upon hearing this, he got even angrier for me not sharing "such important information" w him and that I almost ruined everything, because he misunderstood "my signals", and said that he could be getting what he wants out there, but he is trying to be good to me because I seem to be a "good girl"... Then he proceeded to tell me that it will be good for me to start listen to his instructions and do as he says. That if i wanted things to work out in this house, I better get back "be his handmaiden" (to sorta speak) once more, w no regards to my needs, feelings or experiences... I forced my self to smile and cooked, to keep the peace, and now he is being nice for today. 😔😔 while I hurt in silence. Because I know this is a cycle, and tomorrow the discard may come.

[@stomixd]

people like that are pathetic, i hope you've found confidence in yourself now x

[@User24-g7]

Narcissist do not want to put in the time and work to do a good job, but they want praise and accolades. They become very upset if you get recognition or compensation for your hard work and determined to bring you down to size. They don’t want to work but will, however, put forth time and energy into sabotaging the hard working employee! It’s disgusting and very upsetting- I’m going through the abuse at work- please pray for my situation, I don’t have the necessary skill level to deal with it, I just want to be away from it and work peacefully.

[@Nancy-yw1rr]

My husband would repeatedly bring up things that most spouses do without any expectation of praise. He never did anything until/unless he felt like it, and then he would hold it over my head forever. Of course, anything I did for him, including going way above and beyond, was completely ignored. My compliance was always expected, while his was rare and viewed by him as worthy of endless gratitude. It really is incredibly hypocritical and maddening behavior.

[@victoriabancroft4077]

Exactly

[@vickimerritt2832]

exactly 4 course meal shopped for and prepared. whole house clean, and candled, yard landscaped by me, leaky faucet fixed, kid clean and well behaved at the start of the meal everyone eats but you as you keep hopping to serve others eating, by the time you sit down everyone is done walks away and you eat alone, if you even have an appitite left, . not one word of thanks. They take out the trash later and start asking for their crown and expects everyone to thank him for dinner cause, "he paid for it", yet you notice no one thanks you for shopping and preparing it.

[@LL-eg4er]

He actually told me “I don’t care” many times when I shared things with him. It could be things that happened at work, at the drive through, or things of a more personal nature. It always came as a shock how cold he could be. At first I thought maybe I just caught him at a bad time, but over the years I clued in that he really didn’t care at all. Now I understand why. Thanks Dr Les! I ended the relationship 8 months ago and am still trying to shake off the lingering effects.

[@Olmonolo1]

For me entitlement is The worst trait of these creatures. They can be grandious or blaming others for everything they are not. But entitlement is the core and centre of narc nastiness. We should actively expose narcs in our own communities so the world is a better place.

[@gwendolynwehage6336]

Since there is no sense of concern for the needs of others it is impossible to explain your needs to the narc, the explanation will be met with anger as though you were bad for voicing your concerns.

[@Nancy-yw1rr]

I could never get him to even listen to any of my concerns or needs, much less address them. He would cut me off or shout me down every time I tried to discuss anything that would require any effort on his part. They are completely selfish.

[@MORCOPOLO0817]

Yeah, I had a roommate in college like that. I set out some reasonable lights out hours because I valued my sleep. And he said sarcastically as I handed him a sheet listing those hours, "O.k. how long am I allowed to stay up!" He paid a little lip service in the beginning to honoring them but would constantly be coming in and out of the room as I was trying to sleep.

[@MORCOPOLO0817]

@Wim Harleev It is called compromise. I was already staying up later than I should have been for the early classes that I had. But being a narcicisst, and having a sense of entitlement, everything was about him and his needs. So yeah, thanks for bringing that up because everything was all about him!!!!!!

[@mollyh6943]

The narcissist cares only about themselves. Everything that happens isn’t happening to everyone, it’s only happening to the Narcissist, and their feelings are the only ones that matter.

[@JR-ej9up]

Hello Doc. It feels good to be standing up for myself these days. . . With a new job. And a newer lease on life. I appreciate the opportunity the new job has afforded me. I am working hard. And showing I'm a hard worker... Today I was going to drive for about 5 hours, but I was so tired from working 6 days in a row. I slept in. Then slept more in an afternoon nap. Much needed... Yesterday I went to a movie with my father. I challenged him to come, to an an 11 o'clock show. As he asked me to check a property that has old family stuff in a garage. Might be dumped. We got into a little bit about politics. Sitting thru the credits. How I chose to not vote the last election, to focus on me at the time. To further explore better candidates down the road. He wanted to crush me. His only way of thinking. Also was in a super happy mode when he initial picked me up. It's strange seeing where I came from. At least this side. And having a better understanding, thru the work here. His gung ho mentality didn't last. And his anger when talking politics, had to sit. Or we were gonna argue 5 minutes before a 2 hour movie. He had to let it go... I stood my ground and the guy thinks what he thinks. I said as much. But I will Not be bending for this guy to crush me. Even at 70 years old. To feel good about himself... That pathway has already done enough damage. Where I was told for many years. That it's your fault. Mom does the same thing too... I feel good standing up to my brother in law too. 55 years old. I reached out on an idea for something creative. And heard nothing in return. My sister too. 45. They have done this many times. Zero response. But come back later with excuses how busy they were. I pulled the plug yes a night prematurely. I usually give 48 hours on something cool, before I figured no response is coming. And I wrote and said better for me to do it on my own.. Five minutes later. He responded how he felt fired before the project even started. He's always been a smart ass. And making jokes on my expense. All how he felt in reaction. Initially like I said I heard nothing. And wasn't going to hear anything. I'm kinda of at the ends of my ropes with those two. And really the whole structure as a whole. That sister works for dad. Talks poorly about him. While mom manipulates her to gain dad's money. Over the younger kids. That sister is not his blood. A step daughter. The brother in law talks about how he knows my dad was on drugs in 80s, when I see him. And is constantly trying to put a divider between me and my father. How my dad and his are similar. And I was going to movies with my sister, his wife more recently. And all of sudden he's texting me for me and him to go to movies as buddies. After 20 years. Jealous I figure. And his sons are so toxic. They make fun of own ethnicities when there around. How much money they have. How there clothes are nicer. Cars etc. All while there dad watches over them. In the room. And I always felt like if I stood up to the kids. He'd flip out. I stand up enough anyway. To not get rolled over. As even presents I bought for Christmas, the kids chimed in poorly. I'm just kinda of done with this brother in law and his family. And hurt that my oldest sister didn't and still hasn't even responded to me many days later from my text. She's hiding. But like I have said. I feel pain here. But would really like to focus on spending time with those I Don't feel pain with. And instead of getting all crossed up angry. I want to refocus on going down these scary paths. I call scary for now. But are clearly the best for me. It sucks to be condescended on. By all of them really. Dad is still 70 and needs me as a push around kid to show power. Mom I'd be an emotional blanket for her. A little support. But I'd never go anywhere. Or to her leave. And this two so call family members... Have copied me vehemently with acting and artistic pursuits to feed their children. With ideas I create and have pursued. They figure forget him. Were not gonna listen to him. Bad people. And I have known for many many years. - Funny for years I thought it was me. I had the problems. Or just me. Not true at all. So separation like you have stated. I really like. And new job to me, equals my own very first car. Fully paid for myself... Mom even offered to give a loan. I told her no. It would mess me up... She tried to make fun of it. With jokes. I held my ground. No... I'm on my way. P.s Also working gives me time to read financial planning books. Which are really opening my eyes further. Like maybe level one or two out of a hundred. A great start. And I'm ready movie scrips. Film scripts. Via online PDFs. To learn the lingo and adventures/ stories... They're good. Thanks Doc for hearing me out. I have some money being saved. And once I get my own car. I can basically drive ride share and make 3 times as much. Brings a smile to my face. Seeing a way out. Seeing a way in. :). And with hope, for all the things is I want. Standing up for myself. And not allowing these types to destroy it... Thanks.

[@beverlyorlando8040]

Can't believe I wasted so much time, energy and effort on this relationship! Divorcing after 33 yrs

[@aliceroberts1980]

It’s a window into how they think and that it’s pointless to inter act with theses people. Once you know what and how they think you can brake free . It really is ridiculous that someone would actually think like this. It’s hard to grasp.

[@hotspark78]

demons!

[@ceebee1704]

"I want...." insert unreasonable and socially unacceptable demand. They are entitled because they haven't grown out of the toddler stage who hasn't learned the word "no".

[@marthajulian7064]

Again, you nailed it. Thank you, Dr Les. You helped me overcome a serious problem in the most sane and rational way. You're a Rock Star. Now I listen to you to remind me there are still kind and intelligent people that I want in my life. Shalom :)

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thank you, and Shalom. Dr. C

[@justonemori]

They straight up steal your stuff and scream at you for mentioning it!

[@mcgaugh57]

You're either on their side or not.

[@ellenl.r.p.obrien4661]

This is literally what I tried to explain to the narcs friends and they DID NOT get it. OR they 'got it' but just didn't care. Narcs want war not peace. As you say: you're either on THEIR side or not. And god help you if you're not.

[@BamaSquirrel]

Omg yes!!! Even after they cuss you out and tell u to F off they still expect you to be there for them “on their side”

[@Punkpsychobilly]

My ex narc’s favorite line: You might be right, but you’re not right for me. She used that every single time things didn’t go her way.

[@AustraliaUnmasked1984]

Poor guy thats psychological abuse of the highest order. Happy to read you have steered away from that rotten path!

[@martyrose]

This man was absolutely ruined by his mother. She must have waited on her Golden child hand foot. She died many, many years ago and he's gone through life expecting all women to be his replacement mommy. I'm not going to do that and that's that. Thank you Dr. Carter! You're presence in my life at this time is SO important. You're helping more than you know!💜👍

[@AdamGuitar87]

5 years in relationship with a girlfriend and in every video you describe her perfectly. I am glad that I broke up with her half a year ago. My life is soooo much better right now. I finally started living the way I want because... its my life. The worst thing is that sometimes I still have thoughts that I didnt do everything to help her to conquer this disorder.. but thank to you and your videos I know that my role in life isnt to fix her. Sad thing I dont know how is it to be healthy relationship, for me its something I never experienced. Long story short - when I feel down and I think about my ex girlfriend I watch your video and everything clears out. I wish her well but NO CONTACT for life is the best medicine. I wish this personality disorder could be easily fixed. Sadly its not.

[@hotspark78]

can't be fixed, unless you can fix demon

[@taraarrington2285]

Same

[@CatLadyKorea]

We viewrs are entitled to enjoy more of Gus' appearances in your videos, Dr.C!!!!!!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Ok, ok! Dr. C

[@twopurringcats]

Exactly. It's their way or no way. My parents always had no tolerance for different opinions..especially mine. They pretend in public to be so great but behind closed doors, they expected total alliegance, praise and as if I owed them..for absolutely anything. Mom used to scream, "You owe me" and ""I own you". My response was "No.". I refused to explain why. Bullying didn't work on me. I learned to stay as calm on the surface as possible..even if inside, I was very afraid. I couldn't show weakness to them because they fed on it. Kind of like sharks. Eventually in therapy, I learned not to put myself in harms way (my parents house or anywhere other than public places). I met them for lunch here and there. But they still had simmering hate, entitlement and aggression just under the surface. So I stay away. They miss my paying for lunches now but tough. They want to be pampered but I won't do it because they're users. They only take, never give. Nope. Staying away is better. No more grief, just peace.

[@L00shkin]

Oh boy, when I tried to compromise with my ex it was me being selfish. But I was always trying to figure out what worked for both of us. I said that to her multiple times, but it was always her way or her way.

[@Nancy-yw1rr]

Narcs don't believe in win-win scenarios- only win-lose. And we all know which side they claim as theirs! 🙄

[@lissacablerware8475]

Thank you Dr Carter This hasn’t been an easy road but the scenery is improving along the way 🌴 Peace be with you also 🙏🏽

[@Phoenix_Enterprises]

You so nailed this one just as I needed it sir. I kept my mouth shut and shared the video. Let's just say in one case I did get an apology....the other is fuming. I've tried over the years to be friends or keep ties due to children or other issues. I'm just cleaning house. These peeps never learn. They will just "lather, rinse, and repeat" until the end of eternity. Thank you!

[@Phoenix_Enterprises]

Most importantly, I'm noticing certain trait's / reactions I've been groomed for..."button pushing" I'm now mixing up my reactions when I know I'm being "button pushed". I've begun to really look at how / why I react to things. :)

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Good luck as you keep unraveling this! Dr. C

[@hotdogrelish]

Once again, the absolute best videos on narcissism. Thank you Dr. C. Still on the journey with you and getting more wise every day♡

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Glad to be with you along the way, Teresa! Dr. C

[@Rebecca-ce2uo]

Mine bought tickets to a concert for a band I really wanted to see. On the way to the concert, he said " I only bought the tickets so you would owe me"...... then during the concert, he wanted me to sit and talk to him instead of listening to the band and singing along 😶

[@valerieparker2242]

Mine did that at a movie theater. They actually believe they are more interesting than the entertainment! Mine also told the teenage girl working concessions that he "studied" cinema. He took ONE theatre class 30 YEARS ago...,LOL.

[@Paid2Win]

Ew

[@manjithothi6555]

Dr Carter a brilliant video thank you. They do not ponder over other's emotions. One thinks they care but realises they are emotionless for other's feelings as they are selfish childish and living in their own world which revolves around "Me Me" Carrying grudge over the years - showing in form of criticism that's what I have encountered with my narcissist sister. With deep regards

[@chadandrews98]

Double standards? ( I can be late but you can’t) Grandiosity, lack of empathy and entitlement : unholy trinity.

[@JRDavis-hj4si]

You said, “When everybody shows up with this attitude…”. Well, Nowadays when everybody shows up with a narcissistic attitude you have “Big Brother”, “Survivor”, Every other reality show, social situation, or work place in our society in 2021.

[@PhilipMcAdam]

Super video as always Dr. Know exactly what you have described there. Entitlement is the best word that describes their behavior. It took me a long time to work it out, or join the dots in my case to realise that is what I was dealing with. And it simply never changes. They seem to be stuck in this immovable state. For a long time I thought I was the problem and I tried so many different approaches and still got the same result. It is soul destroying being married to some one like that as I am. I have gone grey rock and little or no contact for my own sanity. I do encounter a lot of people like this in social and work environment and again I have to go grey rock and little or no contact with them as they are total soul destroyers.

[@crowquilltarot]

Wow. Just wow. Just wish I'd had this clarity decades ago.

[@IamVerasitaPrincessa]

Another wonderful video,Dr Carter!so much truth in your words, I am really run down by the narcissist in my life... I used to be such a positive happy girl full of dreams..

[@Deengirl1205]

Narcissism is real, this is totally true of that personality.

[@anitazakarian908]

I would be told " you just don't get it" said very LOUDLY to me.

[@tomekamontegue5122]

Thank you Dr. C. This was again another helpful and enlightening video and teaching. I’m in the phase of feeling like I’m being betrayed by my own feelings. Right now the narcissist had gone into “silent treatment “ mode and, i feel sad and guilty. Almost like I should apologize for something in order to make them feel better. I’m fighting myself against doing that because that’s the behavior they expect of me. Because I don’t like to feel the tension I would just give in. But, I’m standing my ground and letting the chips fall where they may. Thank you Dr. C because without these videos and the support, I would slide right back into old patterns of behavior and nothing at all would be different or better for me. STANDING STRONG 💪

[@Bob_C]

Most of what you said about the sense of entitlements that narcissists possess describe the two narcissists that used to be in my life until I discarded them and went no contact. I suspect that I will still have to deal with either one or both of them in the future, especially during funerals of family members or perhaps at other events that I must attend. Sometimes narcissists cannot be avoided entirely. But for now I have mostly peace in my life. With the help of your videos I'm slowly gaining back my sense of self worth and confidence. The negative emotional effects of abuse are not easy to recover from. Thank you.

[@Lee-rq9do]

I’m so very shocked to my core that I have been taken in by a narcissist.

[@lorrainemiller799]

Your videos are amazing, I am now healed thanks to you, after a 22 year marriage and 18 months no contact. You have been my guardian angel.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Good luck, Lorraine, as you keep moving forward! Dr. C

[@cliffp.8396]

These videos have been exceptional in my learning the problem of narcissism and in teaching my nieces the same. Thank you for what you do.

[@sherilynmalloy2626]

Good Sunday Morning, Dr. Carter! May Peace be with you and yours also, Sir.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thank you, Sherilyn. Good afternoon to you! Dr. C

[@marcirobins5144]

The classic entitlement statement starts with, " I deserve..." When you hear this, don't get caught in their game.

[@chuckandgabs9114]

Wow Dr. Carter, you speak such truth. My wife and I are expecting our first child, and my parents, both narcissists, believe they are entitled to know all doctor details. Nevermind doctor patient confidentiality and HIPPA. I told them, "I'm not going to tell you everything," and would you believe they did not like that? Apparently I am hateful, unforgiving, and insist on rejecting them out of my life. Of course after several dozen times of that it does not phase me anymore.

[@jennifere4641]

If I complain about a situation, he tells me to have a more positive attitude. If I say my new boss is great, he says "A new broom sweeps clean, things won't stay great" . He disagrees with me on principle. No-win situation.

[@wesleym.2962]

Grudge Holders & No Compromise… just those two things should make you run!

[@awesometulips9427]

Dr C, you just gave me a new to-go phrase "I have done my job properly..." delivered in a flat tone but sending you the warmest mental 'high-five.' Thank you again.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

High-five! Dr. C

[@axeltank06]

I'm surprised my narc wife did not want her name on my degree also. She did choose the school and found they had a forensics program, but otherwise I managed my jobs, managed the house, took care of her the best I could and our kids and graduating mostly on my own. In fact she expanded my reposniblities and put more on my shoulders during this time. She only reminds me of this enormous acheivement/ contributon she did. Nearly. Every. Single. Day.

[@lisabaginski9155]

Your videos have been the key to unlocking my freedom from the narcissist in my family. She has been so destructive and I know have the tools I needed. Thank you!!

[@debrahelgeson6677]

Thank you Dr C. I value your Kindness & Knowledge. Your words make me realize I’m on the right path, with that state of mind, I can control myself! Feeling strong

[@irenemcnamara9699]

Thank you Dr. C. You have touched on many points that I didn't see in my narcissists life, and I am grateful. I bought one of your mugs. What a hoot!

[@leeanne0716]

Your videos help me take one day at a time as im covertly arrange my escape from this relationship

[@justme7422]

Yes! Your videos are very helpful! I grew up with a NF and as such have a difficult time knowing how to set boundaries and what healthy looks like. Fortunately, I'm married to a man who is a saint of patience in my book and watching your videos helps me understand him far better (as a healthy man) as well as understanding the narc's mind and how to protect myself from unhealthy personalities. So, thank you!

[@wifferste]

The worst type of this behaviour especially from the covert type is when they don't feel they have to tell you. When you ask them what's wrong or to elaborate, it comes in several forms: silence, sarcastic remarks like "I already told you", "There's so many examples", etc, "you should already know!".

[@jaykay3839]

So accurate as always. I see my MIL, my step father and my own narcissistic fleas in what you presented here. Thank you for being the voice I need to hear.

[@elisabethcornell7109]

Fleas?

[@jaykay3839]

@@elisabethcornell7109 Bad habits you pick from narcissists.

[@carefulcarpenter]

"To know what you are dealing with." Dr C. Excellent! Thank you, Dr. Carter.

[@1ajtg]

Finding out has helped me make sense of my whole married life. I gave up everything to be with him and he wanted more and more. 8 months and 11 days free of him. Phew what a relief...

[@sweetwilliam2511]

Thanks, Doc. These videos have really helped me to heal and to understand why narcissistic people do what they do.

[@twootters7433]

I've been loving your videos. I've seen so much of myself in them. I've even pin pointed when it all started. and how I turned to anger. I've looking for a doctor now. I live in a small town and the choices are few and far between. One thing you said before was it's a day by day thing. It won't change over night. My problem has been phrases or a few words that come out with the old tone I used to use. They just come out and as soon as I say them I know I screwed up. Anyway I love your videos. They are really striking home but I feel in a good way. No denial on my part. I know what I've done and how I hurt people especially my GF. and it's now time to stop that cycle even if only for myself. So thank you for these candid wonderful videos that are showing me how not to be. I truly believe I can be one who stops the cycle and becomes a better person. This is no way to live. Hurting people and being miserable at my age. (57) So thank you again. Your gentle and kind. I would like to add I'm a diagnosed severe manic-depressive with anxiety disorder who is medicated but feels the meds are only so-so but has been on practically every med for it.

[@desormais22]

Omg ive listened to so many of your videos the last few months, but for some reason this video really nails down my experience with my husband. I’m realizing im not crazy, but it’s still a struggle when interacting with him because im still coming into the thoughts of im a reasonable human being and have reasonable requests. He keeps saying I don’t understand/listen to his needs, but my counselor has helped me see that what he’s insisting on indirectly is that I agree and that’s how he’d feel “understood/heard.” Even then in the past, if I just agreed to stop the whole madness he’ll be like not asking for you to agree (but really that was the agenda). Finally I’m able to voice myself and disagree without feeling guilty. I tell him I feel disrespected and dishonored, but I know I don’t control him so what he does with that is his business, though the consequence was removing myself from physical intimacy with him. He’s mad about that, so he’s like well I lost respect for you long time ago, so I can’t show you affection. I said that’s fine. But he’s not ok with it because he’s not getting his way still. I’ve stopped expecting him to see my value because he doesn’t even value himself. I know I’m valuable so I’ll gate keep what’s mine to do so. This video was super helpful!!! Thanks so much!!!

[@violetsinspring5863]

Your channel has helped me understand my narcissistic brother so much! I never even realized there was a term for it! But he wasn’t always like this. It started about 25 years ago and he is now 61. I think the pressures in his life brought it on. He is like this with all family members now and my mother treats goes along with him in everything. Very frustrating. But your channel helps me understand him. I need to work in my grey rock technique 🌸thank you for all you do.

[@Ariadne76-k3d]

I sure know the covert narcissist...the one I am thinking about does the "poor me" thing.

[@jancarrick1867]

Karma to the narcs I say...I am so grateful to have come across you and your work and am sure that you are helping so many people on this planet :-)

[@MegaMARLEEN1]

Peace and narcissists at safe distance please Cause it really is exhausting Thanks for another good video, doctor carter.

[@lynnfincham6839]

Narc ... “what’s in it for me “... 😳

[@ladennayoung2939]

My mom becomes very angry when I attempt to express myself, and my opinion/thoughts is different from hers. I'm like whoa that is crazy. I didn't realize what was going on with her until I started watching these videos.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Hey, Ledenna, I really respect how you're grinding this out. Keep leaning forward. You inspire me! Dr. C

[@okie-kan9240]

But if you do something for them...oh well, you owe it to me.

[@AlwaysStampinVideos]

“I am entitled to my opinion.” “And it’s my opinion i am NOT a narcissist.” ...says every covert AND overt narcissist living. So i suppose they are also entitled to changing the definition of narcissism so as to reflect the “truth” of these statements as well. I am entitled to limits and boundaries. And I am entitled to not put up with their immaturity.

[@m.s.biteth1164]

But remember, everyone has opinions - like an anus, you know? People DO have opinions. Are you certain you understand the difference, dear?

[@AlwaysStampinVideos]

M. S. BitEth exactly. And I’m not your dear. That’s not an opinion. That’s a fact ;)

[@nic969]

@@AlwaysStampinVideos and you established your boundary :)👍

[@dblackburnjr1]

she says I want to be valued as she devalues me.I believe this is her saying I am not giving her that special treatment she wants.

[@movingon1077]

1.) I didn't make the connection that not understanding how someone else may feel about something can indicate entitlement, so thank you. 2.) I just wanted to share something I realised when dealing with my sister, the most obvious narc in the family that highlights entitlement. My sister attempted to void my legal rights over a family matter, which cost everyone in the family dearly. When the confusion cleared, my sister along with other family members talked about how it was a pity, as it would have been better for THEM if they had CHOSEN to involve me (!!!) and there were so many reasons why they (she) did not involve me, one being that they did not approve of how they thought I was going to behave (!!!) They ignored the main point that I made before, during and after that my rights are my rights and it is not my sister's or anyone else's call to decide otherwise, regardless of their reasons or worries. I am sharing this, because I see this one playing out a lot in greater society, where collective decisions are made.

[@GeeMak999]

Thanks you Not only did you help me leave a narcissistic relationship You helped me realize these qualities in myself to heal them. A victim no more Again thank

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

So pleased to know this! Dr. C

[@bygrace2me]

I was accused of "not being a team player" because I disagreed on a few things--I wasn't argumentative or disrespectful, and I had agreed to defer to her, but I didn't agree with her. One of her favorite phrases was, "We have to be on the same page"...in other words, I was supposed to always agree with her, not just agree to defer to her opinion, but actually, in my own heart and mind, agree with her. She felt attacked if I disagreed with her, and treated me as an abuser; she would end up in tears, and talk "small" like a young child who's being attacked.

[@FrancesShear]

The oldest child tends to be more often conservative. At least I know that much about myself while being tolerant of another person's perspective. However when it comes to my personal tastes and values I felt lost in all of the narcissist's decisions for a long time. I am only starting to realize things like the fact that I like modern style well made furniture better than medivel looking style antiques!

[@Ariadne76-k3d]

Thank you so much! Your approach of calm firmness really helps me avoid guilt when setting boundaries.

[@thetruthmessenger6358]

exactly.......especially over the lives over children after separation. A LIVING HELL FOR ALL INVOLVED..