7 Signs of a Narcissistic Father | Father/Son Relationship

This video answers the question: What are the signs of a narcissistic father, specifically in a father-son relationship?
Narcissism:
There are two types of narcissism: With grandiose narcissism we see characteristics like being extroverted, socially bold, self-confident, having a superficial charm, being resistant to criticism, and being callous and unemotional. Vulnerable narcissism is characterized by shame, anger, aggression, hypersensitivity, a tendency to be introverted, defensive, avoidant, anxious, depressed, socially awkward, and shy.
1. The narcissistic father is a significant influence in the the son's life
2. The narcissistic father teaches the son a lot of maladaptive behaviors regarding how to approach other people
3. The narcissistic father will have a strong position on whether the son should have children of his own
4. The narcissistic father lives vicariously through the son in a way that connects with the
grandiose fantasy
5. The narcissistic father is not necessarily emotionally distant, but he does not focus on emotions that the son is having
6. The son may get abandoned for another child, perhaps a son or daughter that can allow the narcissistic father to feel more fulfilled
7. In a divorce situation, the father is typically divisive and encourages the son to side with him against the mother
Nodar, M. martha. a. nodar@live. mercer. ed. (2012). Impact of Family Dynamics on Narcissism and Impotence: A Commentary and Implications for Psychodynamic Counselors. Professional Counselor, 2(3), 201-207.
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[@imCurveee]

People who don't have this kind of relationship with their parent/parents have no idea how damaging and emotionally/mentally draining it is.

[@PeteSMK]

bruh i totally agree man im depressed as hell since whatever you say theyre always right and im wrong.

[@karsisonline]

@@PeteSMKit gets manageable you stop caring.

[@CometdownCat]

@@karsisonlineit’s not always that simple…..

[@caucasianafrican1435]

It's healthy to say "no" whenever you want. You don't owe anyone anything. If someone is mad at you, it doesn't mean you did something wrong, or that you're a bad person. Don't accept their premise.

[@samn8309]

I had a tyrant father who would yell and sometimes hit us for no good reason - I'm the youngest of 4 children. Punishment was more about him relieving himself of anger and blaming his children. Communication with him was not tolerated. So, I blamed myself for his anger and felt I was hurting him and that, as you said, did something wrong. I'm in my 40's and have finally clued in, somewhat recently, on this distorted sense of self-blame. Now I can quite easily tolerate others anger and this has opened up a world to me where I can more easily set boundaries and say what I want.

[@roshalllambert]

Well said. The narcissist hates hearing a no so it is important to put up a boundary.

[@josephlittlefield2313]

Great advice

[@yes6884]

I can agree with this heavily...

[@binkswhitesocks6737]

what if the son feels entitled to get everything, he wants from the parent? a mother that gives in when a tantrum. and bribe the child, always taking side of the child against the father, and that child is 18 years old at this point. what should the father do if the son hit his dad.

[@joshuaamberson5266]

You described my father perfectly... unfortunately. It's hard living with narcissistic parents, you do your best (achieve a 2:1 Degree), yet it's still not enough for them. Until I realised I was pandering to them, I cut out that bad habit and cultivated a more self-reliant and more independent mindset. Consequently, I feel significantly more confident in myself and my abilities to tackle anything that comes my way without being co-dependent on my foolish, narcissistic parents.

[@joshuaamberson5266]

@No Tea Zone Indeed. With that said, I can go on a lengthy harangue on why I was dealt a bad hand in life, however, I simply choose not to. Taking your point into consideration, I do agree with you that's rare to see narcissistic couples; however, it's gradually on the rise I've noticed.

[@caucasianafrican1435]

Joshua Amberson It's healthy to say "no" whenever you want. You don't owe anyone anything. If someone is mad at you, it doesn't mean you did something wrong, or that you're a bad person. Don't accept their premises.

[@Guide504]

First of all congratulations on the 2:1. Secondly the rise of many percieved character traits as pathologies is often a reaction to over sensitivity in the 'millennial' psyche. Where far too much short term peer driven vertual relationships feedback into 'non reality' based perceptions of the minutiae of normal ballanced individuals. This elevation and distoriion of nominal behavioural traits that are part of the core gamut of the human condition has the hallmark of 'too much access to information' without the critical analytical skills to dicode it property. Access to Google does not make one a doctor, however a Doctor with access to Google is an incredibly powerful combination, the difference is years of training.and this is where the 'millennial' trait of instant gratification and the inability to invest deeply in real long term relationships and goals becomes evident. This is not to say you are in this category.

[@BarakAvinoam]

good for you,me to. the "Coda" gruop meetings are very helpful

[@Guide504]

@@BarakAvinoam done much work over the years. But CoDA does sound useful. Group meetings are useful if those attending are actually looking for a solution /resolution...unfortunately I have experienced many times those who are just interested in the social support in meetings rather than progressing and crafting their own coping strategies to have with them at all times.

[@epicmercury333]

Wow. This was insightful and tragic simultaneously. My heart goes out to the boys raised by a narcissistic father. ❤

[@sonnyca]

Thank you

[@megamonstercookies]

It’s a day by day process. Thank you

[@trance212]

Thanks James! 👏👏💪

[@lamolambda8349]

Thanks bro

[@Dan-vq1dr]

Thanks a lot man

[@cynthiaallen9225]

I've always thought my father was a narcissist. He behaved like a tyrant at home but was the charming attendee at a party. He basically ignored my younger brother and focused on the oldest. Everything was a cost-benefit analysis. I was told I was a bad investment. I was so confused as I hit my 20s and thank god a torturous relationship drove me into counseling. My father didn't like women or femininity. I think he was really threatened by it.

[@rachelwyatt6030]

@Endless Nameless god this is so true. I am the oldest and I was the best thing the world had to offer ..until I started becoming my own person and more of a woman. Then my dad trashed me and put my brother in my place

[@jent6476]

I wonder if there's a gay factor. My childs father is a vulnerable/covert narc, the kind driven by shame. Caught him with a 2nd phone used for gay hookup. Beat me up and very manipulative abusive to me and another woman. He never went into another hetero relationship after me. But will behave and put on the charm in front of men he admires and respects. Idk, could be gay, could be perpetual little boy. I don't see him as a real man. He certainly does not provide for child's needs due to his own entitlement. Nor does he protect. And ofc he only wants to see the child occasionally for fun & convenience. Never any real fathering.

[@drewciferlopez6261]

My Narcissistic father destroyed me. My spirit, my happiness, and my sanity. I’m now older, trying desperately to reparent myself and relearn how to navigate the world. But as I learn more about these videos, I see the damage is so so deep.

[@andreasleonlandgren3092]

I had a narc dad an overt he died in 2014. Breaking the pattern with my son.

[@willywanker5866]

Definitely going to do the same with mine. No more damage.

[@tigercat418]

Dead is cool

[@andytheindividual3862]

Doing the same. Break the cycle.

[@afrench4683]

My Father is Narcissistic Psychopath! I hope he die soon!

[@chloereed454]

How did you feel when he passed? Relieved or sadness

[@oscart4983]

my dad verbally and physically abused me as a kid ‘til my teens. completely destroyed my self esteem and confidence. i went from a child prodigy to nothing. it affected my drive in life and fear of failure. i’m in my early 30s and still living there, my fault i guess. just barely realized that therapy and moving out/being self sufficient is one of the main cures. wishing the best for everyone dealing with a narc, may the people who suffer feel peace someday.

[@jacqueslee2592]

Same thing happened to me. My narcissistic parents literally became more abusive when I was being recognized by teachers as being too advanced for my age group, when I started college at a young age and that is when there was a lot of undermining instead of support. When I became a young adult going to university, I entered this age as a weakened, low self-esteem, and depressed young person, and I ended up not doing well at school. Not being able to get a job was when the narcissistic abuse became more nightmarish as they began to always say that they had always been right that I was always sick and useless. It was constant fighting and undermining. They didn't let me recover from illness and were already pushing me to leave when I didn't have a job and was ill. The narcissists literally made me retrogress and erase that identity of success that I envisioned. My 20s were characterized by how I got undermined and my self-esteem and identity trampled, and now my 30s is recovering and reinstating the previous identity I had, although I fell behind now and cannot compete in the job market. I even laugh at myself for being on KZbin at 30s, didn't imagine myself watching this kind of videos wasting time, imagined myself in an academic career in research. Hence, why narcissists create problems so that you can waste your time on the problem not on growth.

[@weszillich5050]

I'm in the same place my friend. We can and will be successful

[@vinylsquad7776]

My dad is too damn aggressive. He insults me in all levels.

[@stefanbg9309]

Been there, only soultion is to move out and and be self relient Pay your food, bills/rent you'll be free and ok)

[@abaialsa712]

@@stefanbg9309 I killed the Boomer

[@LurkerEternal]

Zero hesitation, maximum pain on things he knows your sensitive on.

[@Div-8739]

Like every little mistake you make he shouts, says" you fool, you don't have sense, learn sense, you're very stupid, never admits his fault always blames people for his wrong doings.

[@scuffedalcapone3409]

My dad lectures constantly never even get a real conversation with him or had one in a long time and if I did it didn’t last long

[@josephlittlefield2313]

I know exactly what you mean. Mine will talk for twenty minutes straight and as soon as I finally interject or casually bring up something I want to talk about he conveniently has to get off the phone.

[@flatlineonfire]

My father only wants to point out my problems how I was the ungrateful one that I felt sorry for my self every time how bad I treated my family but this only happens when I bring up a conversation he didn't like about my abuse.

[@TheBoomshine]

Everything with my father is a lesson from him, the supreme master and knower of all. I must allow him to educate me on the "best" way to go about things. Anything I say is inferior, and if I put the effort to explain my side and it's right, he'll never give me credit, just sort of circle the argument in a way to indicate that he knew that point already. The thing is, he is quite smart indeed. And he'll "test" me many times. He'll ask me to do something he's done 1000 times before, and knowing it's my first time, he'll absolutely degrade and berate me for not knowing how to do it. Sometimes it's something I bet I could even do, or figure out in a short time, but the amount of anxiety I feel even being in his presence performing a task, completely messes me up and sometimes I do make dumb mistakes... and boy do I hear about it. And so does everyone else. It's very draining. The problem is, he also has a really nice and kind side sometimes. He's very inconsistent. But that nice and kind side ropes me in, then at any point he can go off like a bomb.

[@BurritoClips69]

@@TheBoomshine Yo we must be siblings lmao, it's like we have the same dad.

[@scuffedalcapone3409]

@Gemma Dann who’s your fav character

[@liveyourbestlife1513]

Every one of these was true for my father with my older brother. He was distant and disowning with me. My older brother is now a sociopath. I've been recovering my entire adult life.

[@mushroommagic1697]

Sociopaths and narcissists are not the same thing. A narcissist will breed a narcissist or a codependent. Sociopaths and psychopaths are a special kind, different from narcissists. The narcissists force the world to revolve around them, they are weak and ferral. Psychopaths are cold, calculated and meticulous, they work in silence and shadows. They do not force people to do their will, they go after it.

[@poopface9057]

@@mushroommagic1697 agreed

[@morrigansvalkyriable]

I'm female, this was still largely my relationship with my Father. My brother died, so I was the replacement. He never got sick of telling me just how much my brother and I looked alike, so I'm sure that helped him pretend I was my brother.

[@videomemes9363]

I've just started avoiding him....has helped me being sane and less depressed lately. I just don't mind his taunts to belittle my achievements and I've even started working harder to burn him even more and man the motivation it gives me is amazing😂 Let's see how this goes.

[@Incognito-bd4fu]

Sameee

[@takingfoodoffyourplate7887]

I hope everything is going well with you guys !!!!

[@AnovaLisaDragonfly]

4:34 - So true. My son’s father always tells him to not trust women, etc. And men too. I’m so glad I left him 9 years ago. Our 10yo son lives with me so, thankfully, his dad doesn’t have a lot of time to teach our son these toxic, maladaptive ‘lessons’ about women. Also, he expects our son to call him on the phone, instead of him (the dad, the adult) calling his son. Sometimes he gets angry if son doesn’t call him, or he gets hurt/sensitive assuming that son doesn’t want to talk to him. I could say so much more about his style of parenting, and co-parenting. He is not what I consider a good, solid, upstanding example of a man for our son.

[@YatesViolin]

Good on you for getting your son away from him. You’ve assuredly spared your son a lot of pain and trauma because narcissists almost never get better, its just their personality. I wish i had gotten away from my father sooner but i am so thankful that i had a loving mother who had the courage to take on his role as well. Im sure when your son grows up he will be thankful for courage to get away from a toxic person.

[@RTC1655]

Wow, this episode hit home. My experience: 1) *Check* -- Admiration in young adulthood. Significant influence indeed. 2) *Semi-check* -- Teaches maladapted behaviour; not so clear, except a constant putdown of everyone we knew, even his best friends. 3) *Check* -- Meddling in having children. 4) *Check* -- Grandiose personality. Also very problematic if I didn't fulfill his fantasies to perfection, which, of course, was impossible. 5) *Check* -- Very present emotionally; at the same time never interested in, or rather incapable of understanding, whatever I felt. 6) *Check* -- This happened to me and was extremely painful. I was 'replaced' by the son of a billionaire, impossible for me to compete. 7) *Semi-check* -- They're divorced alright but he didn't act divisive (or at least not more than usually) I'd say my father was a vulnerable narcissist as well as a grandiose narcissist. It seemed to go from the one to the other rather seamlessly. He was very charming when _grandiose_ , but rather acting like a 'wounded animal' while _vulnerable_ , with a constant rage and a look of pain in his eyes.

[@timharry5168]

I can relate....and it's all got to do with their miserable childhood you come to realize such people shouldn't have kids. I hate how they tried to ruin my high school years. Thanks to a loving woman I was able to confront this in my 20s early and then they gas light you up. Videos like these help alot

[@doreenplischke2169]

That!🎯 they oscillate btw spectrums of NPD. Most important to point that out to those who have never encountered, lived or endured childhood with this mentally disordered ppl.

[@johnny1334]

My father fucked my mental state up beyond belief and still does to this day. Thank you for this video.

[@Alec_____]

you described my father 100% and made me hate him even more lol

[@RandomPerson-yc4vm]

Same

[@doreenplischke7645]

Exactly what happens to my son ( and daughter). I am so mortified.

[@josephjude1290]

To be fair. Quite a few Teachers have damaged many people; especially people from special education in previous generations.

[@r.chrism.d.3001]

Will be looking forward to a video on the “distant” narcissistic father\son relationship.

[@meera2531]

There are two types... the engulfing and the ignoring...and then there are sociopathic Narcissistic fathers.

[@franny231123DMT]

yeah same

[@sonnyca]

I live 8,000 miles away and still can’t escape my abusive family.

[@meera2531]

@@sonnyca you need to stop giving them any fuel/ attention! Make them irrelevant to your life. That's the only way to make them self destruct!! Take back your power. Do nothing because of anything they say or do or will do etc. Live your life well, the way YOU want to and think is right... Grow, evolve, enjoy and be amazing. Don't dull your shine! They will only suffer for it! You can't help them and you can only help yourself. Do not look to them for any approval, appreciation or validation. They are incapable. Grow in self-love, self-trust, self-value. Self-approve, self-validate, learn to be who you truly are and were truly meant to be and forget their false narrative of you. Detach yourself emotionally from them. I can't say it enough... Make them irrelevant and make sure the good people who matter know you for your true and good self and for your good actions. Don't care about the rest! Narc abuse is a learning experience. It's meant to help us grow in our power and truth. It's meant to help us grow and evolve and enlighten others! I'm sorry if you're already doing all this!! :)

[@AngelinaATF]

Ragnarok I’m sorry!

[@nektulosnewbie]

I recall my uncle and his son. My cousin had an interest in chess while his father was obsessed with it. My uncle drove him to compete in school, which he did and enjoyed it. But when it came to the high school championship he entered, my cousin got 2nd place only to be berated in front of everyone by my uncle and told that if he isn't 1st he's nothing. My cousin kept his trophy and tried to feel proud of it, but it always reminds him of how his father can reduce him at any moment to a little boy that is never good enough even decades later.

[@vibe_oli]

It makes me so mad how my narc husband treats our children ( one son and one daughter.) He is not a good father in any way. He does next to nothing with them but believes he’s father of the year. 🙄 while constantly criticizing them and flying into narcissistic rages when I stick up for them.

[@prometheuspredator7971]

Why are you still married to him when he abuses your children? Due to your children's exposure to narc. abuse, they can become his cohort in abuse towards others....another narcissist. Dud you listen intently to Dr. Grande's video?

[@Tara-id3rk]

That’s is literally my life. And it’s tragic. Our son is three and our daughter is two and he thinks he’s he best dad in the whole world because he actually feels love for them. But his idea of “present” is being on the same property but not actively engaging with them. He does NONE of the parenting (he will make them breakfast occasionally- after asking me what they can eat- and he changed our son’s diapers often and bathed him often, but will not do those things with our daughter) but doesn’t miss an opportunity to yell at them for not listening or criticize my about a 2 and 3 year old not listening or being disrespectful (gee, welcome to toddlers.) Luckily, his rages are almost always directed at me. But unfortunately, he verbally and emotionally abuses me in front of them nearly daily and recruits our son on his tirades against me, which is so disturbing. Our son is more mature than he is and usually tells him to stop yelling and to be nice. It’s sick. And everyone thinks he’s such a good father because he talks adoringly about our children, but he does NOTHING with them as a parent. Watching a movie on the same couch as your child isn’t parenting. It’s so infuriating. But of course, the narc tries to convince US that WE are the problem. We are the narc or the unfit parent in whatever moment they feel any type of way. While in lucid moments I hear how I’m the best mom in the entire world and no one could be better for our kids than me. He’s insane. And it makes me so scared for our children. That last thing I want is for our son to end up anything like him.

[@CamLove15]

@@Tara-id3rk smh same here 💔😔💪

[@johnjcc9884]

Ditto

[@izzy1356]

@@prometheuspredator7971 Guessing you've never had a narc parent who provided the roof and food keeping you alive, huh? Nobody sticks with one because they want to. Most people only stick with one because they have no other alternative.

[@mekketabo]

It's amazing how my father fulfills 6 out of these 7 signs. It's so frustrating living with narcissistic people. As a kid I really looked up to him, thinking how great he was and that he was always right. But in my teenage years I realized how wrong I was. Sadly my mom is constantly fighting with him for sometimes useless things but they don't want to divorce. My heart rushes when I hear them fighting and I get extremely anxious all the time. Sometimes I am scared that I might become like him because I don't have any other father figure in my life and I don't know what way to behave to be like him. I hate this situation since years. I hope that I can move away as quickly as possible.

[@jakeoutlaw3056]

Bro do you wanna talk. You just basically described my situation perfectly.

[@oscart4983]

i feel you man, 1000%. my dad verbally and physically abused me as a kid ‘til my teens. completely destroyed my self esteem and confidence. i went from a child prodigy to nothing. it affected my drive in life and fear of failure. i’m in my early 30s and still living there, my fault i guess. just barely realized that therapy and moving out/being self sufficient is one of the main cures. wish the best for you my man god bless you.

[@goodintentionslifecoaching]

Thank you Doc! My mother and mother-in-law 100%. It’s like living in a nightmare. I know how to handle my mother but have went “no contact “ with my mother-in-law for a year so far. I’m staying strong so I won’t collapse into miss treatment once more. Thank you!

[@aimeerice4687]

So sad for my older son. His dad cuts him down whenever he achieves more than his dad ever could. Yet also cuts him down for not achieving whatever his dad has done. A no win situation for him. You hit #4 perfectly. Tragically, even. Also, cannot emphasize enough the transactional nature of a narcissist's pov of any relationship and that their own financial gain or preservation determines their participation in any relationship at all.

[@JustAZillennial]

I've never known what it's like to have a loving father. My brothers and I were abused ever since we were younger and I'm having emotional breakdowns now. I have a fear of relationships because it seems like when I leave, I end up with another narcissist. I moved out three years ago because of the abuse, but I ended up with a narcissistic roommate. It got so bad that I moved back in with my family, but my dad continued the abuse like nothing happened, and it's worse than ever before.

[@JustAZillennial]

@NelyL Thanks for asking. Yes. I'm fine. I have a few wonderful friends who've helped me move away and have been there for me when I need them and have helped me heal and set me up with counseling and even helped me get a good job. I now have a stable relationship with my father and my brothers, but I've set boundaries and don't see them more than once or twice a week.

[@territaylor2732]

Dr Grande, we your subscribers are so blessed and grateful to you for all the time and dedication you give to your videos, we cannot receive insights and professional counselling at our fingertips anywhere like you give, there is often no other options but to scan all the available general literature out there, please except our collective gratitude for all your efforts.👏

[@scottsarchitecturehildebra1761]

Your videos are wonderful. I so enjoy listening as I know it comes from real research and clinical data. Thank YOU!

[@troyerthedestroyer]

Made it nearly 10 minutes in before I realized that you were not talking about NPD but just narcissistic traits. I'm sure nearly everyone has some, my dad definitely does but I love him for who he is and am thankful for the good times we have had. I don't blame him for many of the issues I have had in my life, I choose to take responsibility for my own actions. Love yourself and treat others how you wish to be treated.

[@grandmastergyorogyoro532]

Sometimes.... Your own family can be the worst enemy.

[@johnny1334]

Absolutely

[@ronaldhindes1061]

One thing my narcissistic dad does all the time is whenever I'm having issues with my children he will say "that's karma" and "you deserve it" but I was never a bad kid I just never fell in line with his narcissism crap.

[@Samaritan38]

Yeah, I'm never good enough for him regarding my successes and my failures. To me, my dad is a jealous guy that he has nothing on me and that is that I'm a strong and independent person and I'm not afraid to be truly expressive and fairly vulnerable enough to enjoy life. I'm happily married, no kids, got a good job and never asks my dad's help, ever.

[@wgd1985]

I never comment on videos but now I’ve watched your video I found it helpful.I am the son a narcissist and if I’m totally honest, I am currently really struggling. I find myself looking up these videos on KZbin but not to watch them anymore but instead read the comments for help. I know everyone has the same problem on here but I’ve just gotten to the point where it has consumed me so much I do not know what to do or how to handle it anymore. I am 34 years old happily married with 2 beautiful daughters and I vowed never to subject my daughters to the physical and mental abuse I was raised with. It continued in my adulthood up until about 3 years ago, until I cut all contact and I’m standing on my own 2 feet. I live my life and with my with wife and daughters by good morals and treating people how I would wish to be treated. I act strong in front of my girls and take the brunt of everything on my shoulders to protect them and would never burden them with my worries but lately I am struggling so badly and I do not know what to do anymore. I had the support of my sister and mother but that has all but vanished now too as he controls their lives financially and mentally. I thought I could take everything thrown at me and my shoulders could bare the Weight but the hardest thing now is that no one bothers with my children and it is affecting them and I feel now that this is my fault. I am heartbroken for them more than anything. My eldest daughter has autism and has enough to deal with but last week she has now started to ask me if the reason her daddy and grandfather don’t speak is because of her. She also asks is it because of her that her her grand parents don’t care for her or want to spend time with her or her little sister.

[@RTC1655]

I feel with you, bro. I'm 48 and I'm struggling as well. Frankly, I believe I'll never shake it completely. Have you tried counseling? It helped me. Talking to victims of the same type of abuse seems help me even more.

[@N8_R]

I love your videos. Your scientific basis and direct no frills explanations really help me sort out what I went thru growing up. I have an overt narcissist dad. One major dynamic that was prevalent in my life is what I'd call the 'succeed but don't surpass' dynamic. My dad would always belittle and insult me when I struggled in life, but when I would surpass him he would become competitive, petulant and resentful. It creates a real 'no win' dynamic where I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Also there was always a really creepy dynamic to the vicarious enmeshment when it came to me dating and having girlfriends. He would become overly encouraging if I had an interest in a girl he found attractive, flirting and even taking pictures. If I was with a girl who wasn't 'his type' he would cockblock and put limitations on my ability to pursue the relationship and express unimpressed sentiments behind her back.

[@N8_R]

@@blueskies6475 After making my initial comment, it has become clear my Dad is a genuine psychopath. He has done unspeakable things. Getting an ego trip out of cucking his own son is the least of his crimes.

[@kalakshepam9000]

all signs are there in my dad..my life is a pure chaos and its always hard for me to be who i am and who my father thinks to be i am...narcissistic father's destroy the sense of self of the son/daughter...

[@Ezmacanic]

Give your heart to God tell God how you are feeling God will fix you. You are too valuable to allow someone to have this type of power over you that’s not what God wants for you. God wants eternal life for you.

[@maxhill1827]

My father told me last week that he didn't want to have any more in-depth conversations together, about life. I'm 20...

[@geargail]

My Biological Dad - wouldn't stop 'Stalking' my Mom. ( This … really got into her head.) Watch out for 'clowns,' or 'bad personalities.' ::: I've purposely avoided getting a girl friend ::: just so that My Dad wouldn't get into them !!!

[@lamolambda8349]

Daaaaamn can't you like move so you can have a girlfriend again

[@prometheuspredator7971]

Are you referring to your dad flerting and hitting on her? That is gross.

[@anthonyj9299]

this hit home...

[@geargail]

@@lamolambda8349 = He Still didn't stop... found me while doing a Temporary Agency Job assignment, and was STILL ANGRY for the decision to relocate with Domestic Partner.

[@geargail]

@@lamolambda8349 My Older Sister, told me - a Hospice Worker has heard of me trying to take care of a Disabled, Elderly Dude with a messed up Spinal, due to Dehabilitating Arthritus... and said. (( don't return to California State, because My Father is being a complete jerk.)) The Stage 4 Esphogus did him in 2016 of FEB

[@moe3691]

Lived 23 whole years with my dad, name a genuine conversation I had with him? I couldn't tell u. I'm at that point where I'm not even upset anymore, a combo of worrying about my future and him being a lost cause. Can't tell which's more hopeless, the former or the latter.

[@cryptichex6943]

My dad always tells me I’m wrong, I’ve never had an opinion without him disagreeing with me. I try to have a conversation with him, but he often starts lecturing me about why my view sucks. He yells and calls me names when I disagree with him. He thinks he always knows better and always tells me I’m lying or i don’t know what I’m talking about. My mom will always agree with him no matter what I or he says. Always 2 v 1. Then he uses things he’s done for me as bribery or blackmail for me to agree with him. Frequently telling me that I never do what he says.

[@gilbertrojas967]

Wow. Never knew I was a narcissistic father. This totally called me out. Shame it takes u to lose everyone u love to learn about urself. Keep on teaching me! I'm all ears.

[@MajaJeremic]

This breaks my heart, but it's what I have in my home, a large part of it, anyway. This is very good work, Dr. Grande.

[@ronremillard776]

All fathers, I think, want to help their children avoid issues, or manage issues, that were emotionally charged for them. It is virtually an unconscious motivation to act. It occurs to me that a narcissistic father operates out of his own agenda, rather than helping their child make decisions about what they want for themselves. In a divorce situation, it is difficult to respond to situations a child speaks about, when you have a different perspective than your ex spouse.

[@edgreen8140]

Only when your doing what they want will you be seen for awhile. Don't trust narc fathers. They don't know of what they speak. Their is a lot of splitting. Object constancy is not present, multiple disaciative events and gaps in memory. When i was in high school i wrote a paper and typed it up. My mother heard my father devalue my paper. She called me upstairs and said please hand in the paper your(medical doctor) father said to write and lets see the grade he gets. F.

[@christinapaterno5585]

Oh my god my mother also enables my dad and thinks he knows everything and he sucks. Sorry friend.

[@missjaneaustralia3941]

You are so clever Dr Grande, Great video, I learned a lot.

[@lynlawrence5993]

Thank you so much for this video. This describes my FIL perfectly though he has criteria from other personality disorders as well. His father spent most of his life cutting off my husband from other people and cutting down my very sensitive and kind husband. I keep trying to help my husband heal, setting strong boundaries with my FIL, while allowing him time to unpack it on his own. I’m hoping as he ages through his 30’s and continues to gain more understanding into how his relationship with his father has impacted him.

[@Moonlit3Hibiscus]

Learn about them. Usually the person dealing with the narcissist is an empath that is struggling the most and an enlightened empath is a narcissist's worst nightmare.

[@CasualCreateOr]

It feels very stressing at times to just always assure my father that hes always correct or that he's"intelligent." I developed a method for making him happy just by re assuring him and telling him what he wants. The only way I can learn what hes telling me is just to pick and choose what's right or wrong in what hes saying and its really difficult, hope I make it out alright.

[@ytpremium6294]

I want to stop pointing fingers to my father or anyone. now, that I am a father myself, I'm focusing my energy on how to be a good father and not how to avoid being a bad father. It is much harder to stop doing things than to do things. No father is perfect however my father maybe just doing what he thinks is best at that moment.

[@maxshea4762]

Trust me, you can never admire the father enough

[@napoleondynamite4148]

🎯

[@nectarina3891]

I would love to hear you talk about distant narcissistic parents. I think my dad was this type.

[@daringgreatly8473]

What about a narc dad favoring one son and ignoring the other one? Literally my father in law is all about his older son. They drink and party and vacation together. Every blessing mentally, emotionally, physically, monetarily etc all goes to the older son. My husband the ignored son is only called upon when there are tasks and work to be done. It’s been very hurtful to my hubby growing up but now in his 30s he’s learning to distance himself. Though they (father and favored son) still manipulate my hubby to draw him back in just to use him and discard him. Same cycle over and over. Their personalities are very overwhelming and hard to stand up under.

[@baileythedog9243]

I've been waiting for this video for so long thank you so much Dr Grande!

[@ten-ub4xd]

my dad just doesn't show any interest in me and my sister, even though he knows I was seeing a psychiatrist and battling with unemployment and depression. He's more likely to bring up my failures than wins. As i grow older and wiser this level of grown intellect is met with fear and defensiveness rather than curiosity and openess. He's never once called up to see how I'm coping, no words of wisdom, no talk of how he got through tough times, etc. When I come home I notice he's insanely effeciniate and caring to the dog, so I know he has it in him, whenever I talk to him it seems to get in the way of him watching TV or radio. Even when I do start talking he will remind me to 'get to the point' before I barely started. (The last time I was home was last year). Is this narcissistic or emotionally unavailable? I still love him and always will but to any dads out there, try your best to be a rock for your kids, listen to them, show you care by understanding what they want in life. Doing nothing is damaging

[@nokengkawong3531]

Narcissistic can be inherited, I saw pattern in my brother although he hardly spent time with my father who is vulnerable narcissist

[@mikitz]

'You'll never amount to anything' slipped your tongue. Glad to know how these sort of things can pass over a generation or so (no thanks to you for that, though).

[@jakecarlo9950]

I think the distinction between overt and covert, or enmeshed versus distant narcissism is actually a question of modes rather than categories. The supposed “traits“ of one or the other are deployed situationally, and one’s default mode , the cluster of behaviors to which one resorts most readily, will likely change as one’s life goes on, and/or circumstances change. I see this in myself, as well as the narcissist who trained me. I think that making categorical distinctions like ‘overt/covert’ is a relic of the diagnostic manual approach and the malignant notion that psychology is a form of medicine. If you fall into the trap of trying to figure out “which kind of narcissist am I dealing with“ you’re going to be taken off guard when they don’t conform to expectation and switch up the game on you.

[@jenniferwills3095]

Can you do grandiose narcissist with distant to daughters?

[@That_Awkward_Mum]

Yes please.

[@engleharddinglefester4285]

Holy cow very good, very clear, very accessible, Thanks!

[@trinity6764]

Agree ! Facinating topic . Difficult situation for a son to be in . The N father can do a lot of damage .

[@Tsalagi]

Jeez Louise, this is exactly what happened to my oldest son😔 it's extremely painful and it takes a lot of healing for both my son and myself. Now that my son lives with me , the father is focused on my daughter, go watch this guy's father/daughter narcissist abuse video, narcissistic abuse seems too never end, and now the father is wanting grandkids 🤦it's a sad cycle I pray it doesn't repeat.

[@geargail]

( imagine - having an angry STEP FATHER, that wants to remove weaknesses.)

[@geargail]

@philbyification Why ?

[@liamthompson9342]

This is very useful. I'm extremely reactive to narcissists and I'm at the stage of wanting to know how they get that way to begin with.

[@emmalauritzson4466]

So interesting! Could you please do a video on the relationship between a borderline mother and daughter?

[@camuscat123]

I'm more interested in father-daughter and mother-son relationships. I think there are so many nuances in the displays of narcissistic parents. There is no concrete guide to identify this dynamic, and one size does not fit all. I will say, as narcissists age, they may become increasingly depressed, as significant others develop an aversion. The narcissist winds up with the love and hate of his life...himself.

[@jemperdiller]

6/7. Good thing I've managed to stop serving him and to find a real job in my late 20s so I can move out from my father by the winter.

[@nivrrtakr2891]

I'm 18 and I need 6 more years before moving out...need to go to college first

[@viktorreznov984]

Better late than never. İ'm soon to be 23 and i gave up on the idea of going to college. İ can't afford to be taking his money anymore so i chose to get a trucking licence. İn couple years i'm all on my own.

[@YatesViolin]

Its scary how accurate this is, ive been struggling with my narcissistic father for years now and it feels like you summed him up pretty well haha. I dont want to overshare but was wondering if anybody with similar relationships has any opinions on the way narcissistic fathers behave in arguments. I realize those behaviors can be personal but i feel like there may be a pattern with my dad lol. He tries to say the most damaging things possible and dredges up ways he feels he was slighted in the past. He also reimagines events to fit his own narrative and tries bring random family members or friends into the argument. Similar experiences?

[@Samaritan38]

I have. My dad gets invited to parties and after a few drinks later, he tells me and my siblings about petty remarks about someone's weight, one is jobless, one didn't have kids and calls gay and other bad names and ending ourselves into a heated discussions. Then I realized that he does that everytime when he drinks to his "liquid courage" just to say things he want to say instead while sober. My dad has invulnerabilities and insecurities.

[@Lurch150]

Based on your other videos, my dad is a textbook narcissist. However, this video doesn't describe his relationship to me and my brother. He has always treated us as 'competition'. He's on a mission to prove to the world that he's better than us and that we're stupid, worthless, and incapable. His directive is to kick us down, keep us down, and make a spectacle of it. He dismisses our successes and mocks our failures. He treats us like a joke to our families and everyone else. I will reiterate in one of your previous videos that narcissism is insidious because it is very subtle. Most of what he does appears as normal family interactions, and people respond as such. But really, he revels in our misery. When my parents broke up, my dad took my mom's side against the kids. Complicated dynamic. He remarried a woman who's literally the female version of him. She's angry, spiteful, and HATES me and my brother.

[@Godshonestruth]

My father is the quintessential narcissist. I am 43 and still dealing with the issues. Never once a kind word or any interest in my life but he wants the whole world to praise him. Any time anyone complimented me around him he took credit. He also competed with me in everything and I didnt even realize it. Used to make fun of me in front of my friends and even if I brought a girl around. Hes writing a book about his own life and tries telling anyone who will listen about his life. Hasnt asked me something about my life. Ever. He was abusive to me my brothers and my brother. He asked me straight faced if I ever remember me yelling at my mother. It was daily. I feel so fucking lost and angry sometimes because I dont even know what is real. I need to cut him off completely.

[@PeteSMK]

im 28 and im dealing the same thing man

[@richardstevens7547]

48 and just now seeing clearly. My conclusion? They will never change nor take accountability, ever.

[@nazansabith8920]

believe it or not im just a 14 son who is living with a narcissistic father. you know some of the signs that you have mentioned is 100% accurate about my dad

[@MH-yc5pr]

Same, my father is an alcoholic on top of the narcissism. Not a good combination. Anyway, I hope things get better for you 👍. Remember, try not to get these negative traits aswell, it can be very easy to end up being just like the father and being the same asshole with your kids.

[@nazansabith8920]

you know i remember when i was a kid i used to be very clumsy and used to do a lot of immatured stuff and because of that my dad got furious of course. but what i have also realized is that he constantly keeps on saying that " i and your mom comprised our dreams just to raise you all these years instead of this i could try to achieve my dreams all these years". so what im basically is that he would kind of use this as an evidence to make me realize its because of me how he had been sitting as a failure , as a loser for all these years and also to make realize that i should'nt being repaying like this to him and be grateful for raising me all these years and once again he says that's all thank to the comprimising he did for me or else ill never be successful

[@nazansabith8920]

even after over decade i still am facing with this f@cking nuisance from the victimizer of my life that is my dad

[@juliannarvaez3098]

Spot on! Once I decided I didn’t want to be my dad he became disgusted with me, the faces he makes when I tell him my political views/ passions and life motivations he looks at me with disdain or straight up calls me stupid and misguided from the people who live where I live now/ my college teachers. I used to think he was a superhero, capable of more than anyone because that’s how he painted himself. He always referenced Scarface “first comes the money, then the power, then the women” so don’t focus on valuing or respecting a women until you’re successful. He taught me manipulative tactics to deal with bullies, conniving methods like sneak attacks. “Cut it at the umbilical cord” he used to say about people that would try to “disrespect” me at all but especially in front of others because then others would think I’m weak or an easy target. “Once you beat up someone brutally enough, no one else will try you, and when someone does, do it again to refresh their memory”. When I would come short of his expectations, I would be hit or yelled at extensively. His anger would be out of control and he to this day says he doesn’t recollect any of the physical or verbal abuse. Gaslighting to the max. The most spot on thing u said was how he turned me against my own mother, who raised me my first 8 years while he was in prison. My mom would sometimes suggest I live with my dad once I started acting exactly like him, and he would tell me to “call her bluff and she’ll learn not to do that”. Now in my last relationship I would do that when I was very upset and we would break up for no reason at all other than my own narcissistic tendencies. Thank you for the guidance, you’re a saving grace for me.

[@rabinmomin]

I don’t understand this with some narcissists that they show all these qualities with their family but do not show them to others.

[@OhMyPearls]

You've given me a new insight into my family dynamic.

[@mrs.reluctant4095]

Wow, Dr. Grande...! This is a fantastic one, again. You described this so well... What makes me anxious about the whole thing is, that my brother (48) is so psychologically dependent on my father (78) because of their merged identities , that I don't know what will happen, when my father dies... ?!?! Makes me scared to see this extreme clinging onto another. P.S. Love how you pronounce Sigmund Freuds name, so cute!

[@lauriLokkeni9002]

Hi again Dr Grande you have already covered this topic, as I have only just started to watch your videos, I didn’t go back far enough... thank you, great viewing as always 💖

[@raymondlin8728]

My father rarely said a word of encouragement. He was either quiet, telling me what to do, or hitting me. We never did father , son things, like u see on tv. It was always uncomfortable being around him

[@CosmicNihil]

Hey Todd, could you do a detailed video about Autism Spectrum Disorder and what was known as Asperger's Disorder?

[@bonitatorres5543]

Oh my ..you are SO on point. My narc haired three sons: one's doing life in prison, one got murdered and the living one wants to kill the narc. He had them all think they were special.

[@jedilegoarts9882]

My father is a text book grandiose narc. I’m his second child and daughter. I suffered. My older brother really suffered and has huge issues. My dad is alienated from his parents and siblings and now his wife and children. But even though he is in his late 70s he has not changed and feels he is the victim. He hasn’t figured out the common denominator.

[@Headstrong11242]

I FEEL BAD FOR MY FATHER AS A GIRL BECAUSE HIS FATHER PASSED AWAY WHEN HE WAS ONLY 20 YEARS OLD. HE HAD A MOM BUT NO DAD AND GOT MARRIED AND COLLEGE. HE WAS IN A GREAT CLASSY FRATERNITY AND I'M SURE THIS HELPED HIM BUT STILL NOT HAVING A FATHER AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE AND THEN MARRIED RIGHT AWAY HAD TO BE DIFFICULT.

[@naturallaw52]

Every day, you make a video about what I am thinking about or processing with friends. Kind of like speaking with the universe or silicone valley marketing.

[@dragonton4455]

I didn't know there was a word for it (narcissism) until recently. I was so terrified in school the teachers started asking questions about home life and when dad found out in third grade he threatened the teachers and took me out of school and never let me go back. He called me stupid and kept me in the house until I was 18 then he told me to get a job and be a man. I am trying desperately to function in this world. Not a day go's by that I don't wish God would take me home. I wish God would send someone that could show me the way out.

[@debvw9740]

How do you protect the son if you see the father exhibiting these behaviors?

[@soniabernatchez7466]

get a job and move out

[@gypsy-nr9zd]

I think sons of narcissistic fathers grow up to be narcs too. Covert narcs. Just a PSA because I do adore this channel, speaking universally here to anyone, to adhere to this advice. If you are a NON psychologist, psychiatrist, psychopath, narcissist or narcissistic borderline, remember to treat people with respect and civility. Or rather appear to do so. *Because the world is a masquerade ball. We’ve all got our masks, but you can’t see through everyone’s. What you see isn’t always what you get. Some people are hiding behind their’s.* If you’re not trained to spot certain individuals and/or qualities in individuals, those individuals can and will eradicate you. You could suffer Travis Alexander’s fate. And wind up on _documentingreality. com_ for the whole world to see you disfigured and humiliated. -snuff site. *Toyed with like a puppet until they cut your strings and discard you then toss you out like the other toys; like the toddlers they embody.* See the only way to beat these people is to *fight fire with fire.* Manipulation with manipulation, lies with lies. Or rather, to *fight fire with water.* To put out the flames and expose that cluster B personality disordered person and leave them with psychological third degree burns. Nude and powerless when the flames die out. Tarnish their reputation, before they tarnish yours with fabrications. Make them believe that you’re the one being manipulated, but they are. *That’s how you beat the NARC, the PSYCHO, the BPD. Put out the fire!* Before it spreads and spreads. The player gets played. Don’t ask me how I know. *Remember the world’s a masquerade.* Before anyone gets offended, I’ve been diagnosed with BPD since I was 18; only a year ago. I recognize that our behaviors can be toxic. *I’m not saying it out of concern, but out of caution*

[@gypsy-nr9zd]

M Z no problem

[@bzmama9893]

Just don’t expose them publicly. That’s key.

[@gypsy-nr9zd]

Bz Mama I probably wouldn’t do that because if that person somehow finds a way to turn the tables out on you and make you look like the crazy one, then that’ll be a problem. And you then face public scrutiny. But we’re talking about two different things here. I’m talking about in terms of exposing the victim and making them look like the perpetrator. You’re talking about in terms of exposing the perpetrator. Both are risky and reputation is on the line.

[@MrLloydforever2]

@@gypsy-nr9zd ✨ it's crazy !! But" its very true what you say !! I did it !twice !! was so hurt 😭 complete failure"@ love🤯 But🤨two can pay the game & finding out few years later their not who they've pretending to be 🧐 fallen in love isn't supposed to hurt 💔 But "they say 3rd time a charm 💞 I'm not looking & I'm not dreaming about fallen in love today ✨

[@gypsy-nr9zd]

Lloyd Billings I totally believe you. I was the one in the driver’s seat. I totally took advantage of not only my ex but other exes too. Used ‘em, abused ‘em-not physically. So I know what it’s like for those in the backseat. But power is a, to put it in simple terms, a fun thing to have. So is control. That’s why they do these things. Especially if you were starved of it in childhood. But you can never truly change a person completely. Therapy helps a little bit for some people. But once adulthood hits, that ship has SAILED. You can’t just turn it around. It would be like trying to repair an old sunken ship that’s already become an artificial reef with algae and fish swimming around.

[@geargail]

@11:03 = (( did forget to mention )) My Dad and Polio / affected one leg in a severe way. --- okay, so yet again I'm asked to see Someone in a different light other than being too involved.

[@NarcissisticAbuseRehab]

Wow! I’ve seen how this plays out from the front row and you’re right on point 🎯 The sons in my family of origin were copy/paste versions of our malignant Narcissist father.

[@neroangelo1464]

My dad once said that all strangers are idiots until they've proven the opposite.

[@miller8221]

Always felt like my father was narcissistic but non of these things mentioned describe him. He wouldn’t want us to stand up for ourselves whenever we were being bullied but then would get mad for not defending ourselves, whenever something bad happened like a break Up or an error at work or whatever he’d blame us failing to realize what he did wrong in his situations, always played the victim role and could never speak about they way I felt because he’d then say “well what about the time you made me feel like”… was always extremely materialistic.. could never ask for anything because I knew I’d get lectured. If I ever said thank you he’d ignore it. On one particular occasion I had purchased concert tickets for him and my step mom so they could have a date night, concert tickets backstage passes etc.. instead of saying thank you get mad because I didn’t buy my step sister any, that’s when we had our fall out and I started to resent him… now he gets upset because I don’t take anything from him or anyone at that and I call him out on his BS he’ll quickly say let’s not talk about that… he’s also a pathological liar… feel more at peace when I don’t speak to him.. says I’ll regret it when he passes away

[@willhall7684]

My dad made up something to be mad at my wife about, then told me I should leave her for treating him that way & he's disappointed that i let her manipulate me and tell me weeks to think. Then he said I have to do what he tells me because he's the patriarch of the family and what he says goes. 😅 I was like 33 at the time with 2 kids, and he had just recently gotten divorced for the 3rd time.

[@JD-ks2nv]

This really opened my eyes about how silly people could be. I have imagined all of these fantasy s and take them seriously when imagining them and wanting to do them but at the same time see that they are silly thoughts to make a person say "you shouldn't have made a person feel bad... told you so- basically". It's not revenge but it shows the person had a respect for a teacher that the student didnt get the same respect in return as well.

[@manifestdigitalagency]

My ex husband from whom I've been separated and later divorced for a decade is narcissistic. I discovered this many years after, in fact recently when he went on to alienate our son from me to the level of taking him away and convincing him to take his side (it started gradually 6 years ago when I remarried, but got ever worse since my son has been getting older - he will be 12 this year). I am in court now trying to get my son back, and have been learning how to deal with my ex (much of the learning process was also caused by your videos, like the one where you explain how to stop a narcissist). But now I want to learn how to help my child overcome this very destructive influence. He is getting older and, naturally, looks up to his dad. He is in a lot of emotional pain because he had to "choose" his dad and thus "lost" his relationship to me (he will never lose it, but factually he is having much less contact with me at the moment, and the judicial system is painstakingly slow. Also fighting a narcissist in court is not a straightforward process). I truly only recognised the abuse when it "exploded in my face" the time my ex simply took my son to live with him, basing his decision on lies and on the manipulation he had done on our child for who knows how long. My son and I have a very strong bond, from the moment of his birth, so he has not managed to completely destroy it. But I see signs of alienation, manipulation, and especially of the control he has over my child's mind; and am extremely concerned about his psychological well-being. How can I support my boy? Thank you for all your help, Dr. Grande.

[@manifestdigitalagency]

Also if any of the men commenting here who had narcissistic fathers would like to give me their view on how I could best help my son, I'd be deeply thankful.

[@kd9419]

Lots of ups and downs. No pleasing. They support one idea, then crush it with many different ideas.

[@0xlemi]

I thought I was clicking on a explainer video. But ended up listening to my biography.

[@handy1arnwald947]

Thanks for this.my father was a highly violent abuser who showed narcissistic tendencies.i am afraid I have picked up some of those feelings. Trying not to pass them on to my son. He is such a good person.taking an honest look at it helps. I do not fully agree with everything you say,but I have great respect for your knowledge.

[@RTC1655]

I have one advice for you: Seek counseling. It does work if you can admit that you have these traits yourself.

[@metalwellington]

point four just blew my mind. incredibly insightful.

[@476f7474]

My father always tried to get me to figure out who the "leader of the boys" was, to then stalk him until he was alone in a dark alley where I was supposed to jump and beat him up. Him being a cop, I didn't really question the legality of such behavior for far too long - but I never did any of these things. Instead, I hated myself from being too inhibited to assault classmates to establish that bullying me was not okay. Today I'm glad I didn't do any of that.

[@frankiefrostie1]

I have a narcissistic father (not self diagnosed or diagnosed by me, but by a licensed family therapist we went to to deal with some issues) but none of the scenarios really seem to apply. All the stuff my dad did was definitely about him and him being cool, like coaching my sports teams as a kid, but he didn’t do it vicariously. He actually got involved in everything that I was involved in and it was never about my development as a kid, it was about him being cool and having the spotlight on him. By doing that he essentially ruined every activity I participated in because I could never be myself or explore who I was - I always had this albatross around my neck that held me in place in terms of who I was and my development. I was bullied pretty bad at school and in general as a kid and there were times where at boy scouts or baseball, my dad would join in or even initiate some of the bullying/teasing. Maybe he didn’t mean it vindictively, he may not have, but he certainly didn’t consider the potential pain he was causing me and to me at 9 or 10 years old it felt like the ultimate betrayal. He would go out of his way or make me look or feel dumb in front of other parents and my peers to get a laugh for himself or to look cool - but there was never any of the “vicarious” living you talked about. He was involved, and when he couldn’t be directly involved and stealing the show, he was totally, 100% absent. It was like if he couldn’t gratify himself directly through something, he was totally indifferent to it and to me. Does that mean he has some other kind of narcissism or that he’s not narcissistic? I am trying to understand why he treated me that way and get over the significant anger, pain, and resentment I have toward him and my mother.

[@leahdiva2525]

Thanks for the video! I don't see one about mother/son issues. Have you done one?

[@britneyragsdale4345]

My child's genetic donor is a complete narcissist. He refused to sign the birth certificate but now blames me that he has no legal rights to my child. I came here to see what my son would go through having a narcissist father in his life. I'm convinced I have done the right thing in denying him access to my child after seeing what he had/has done to his older daughter.

[@brianhart8397]

Dr. Grande, your popular medium of teaching allows so many people to benefit from your well researched views. Please feature the phenomenon of “parental alienation”. Hundreds of thousands of parents (and their children) are suffering broken relationships but are not aware and therefore do not seek legal intervention or therapeutic support when their personality disordered ex has manipulated the child to unjustly reject them (which they achieve through indoctrination and sharing delusions that the healthy parent is unsafe, uncaring, and/or unavailable). The best journal article authors include doctors Amy J. L. Baker, Richard Warshak, William Bernet, Jennifer J. Harman, Edward Kruk, and Richard Gardner (Child Psychiatrist that named it in 1985).

[@decoy2636]

Brian Hart this subject is very interesting and I do hope that Dr. Grande can find time to cover this subject with the through research and his way of explaining these subjects in his field of work. Thank you for bringing my attention to this aspect of it and Best Wishes

[@monicacruz4407]

I know a narcissistic father who uses his adopted teenage son as a ‘friend’. He is a particularly high conflict person who struggles to maintain friendships. His adopted son therefore fulfills his need for ‘hanging out’ with another male for company. The adopted son’s personal social development is severely affected, as he feels guilty when he doesn’t spent time with his adoptive father. This person’s two daughters also participate in a cult like situation. One daughter is the pretty and clever golden child, while the other daughter fulfills the black sheep role and receives negative projection etc from the sister and the father. Sad to witness...

[@IndieAuthorX]

Number 4 really hit.

[@sakuragirl5979]

Excellent explanation! You always nail it!