7 Signs of an Emotional Affair

Emotional affairs often happen because two people are seeking validation, appreciation, and attention. Since emotional affairs aren't usually started on purpose (like physical affairs), psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini gives 7 warning signs that you may be involved in an emotional affair.
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[@ricky110882]

just found out my wife was having an emotional affair a month ago, supposedly not physical, but all 7 signs were 100% accurate. this is a great video. They started off as friends and that grew into them texting all day and night. they would talk for hours after I went to bed, she went to work but only worked a half day and spent the rest of her shift "eating dinner and watching a movie" with him. her root problem is she doesn't have any boundaries with her "friends". This type of affair always happens when you start to over communicate with someone outside of your marriage. This is not the first time she has done this. we are getting a divorce. Update…. What started as an emotional affair turned into a physical affair. This was not the first time, but it was the last. We have been divorced for over a year. We are both in better places now. Thanks for all the comments telling me to work it out. We were together for 13 years and this was a recurring cycle every 2 years. Some people are not meant to be together.

[@MaryJoRapini]

Sorry to hear it caused the divorce of your marriage. EA’s seem innocent but are as bad as physical affairs.

[@rabinraj15]

I feel you bro... so shocked, lost, angry, sad etc etc all in one like a mixed salad... Pray we get good guidance to heal from this unfortunate disaster.. Happy new year and wish a much more joyful 2022 ahead..

[@ricky110882]

@@rabinraj15 thanks brother for your kind words

[@Ur2ez4me81]

@@ricky110882 did you get divorced? Almost the same thing happened to me as well but she did this all the while I was having health problems & while I was grieving for 2 deceased family members.

[@ricky110882]

@@Ur2ez4me81 We are getting a divorce. In my state we have a 6 month waiting period before you can file for divorce but we only have 1 month left to wait. We have both moved on and both seem to be happier and doing good. I'm sorry to hear that your wife chose to have an affair when you needed her the most. I hope you have other people in your life that you can turn too for support. The only advise I can give you is that talking about it helps. I am a very proud, private person so telling people, that know me, about what happened was very hard but it helped tremendously. Good luck

[@bobsanderz3005]

I think an emotional affair would be more hurtful. That heart to heart connection is so much more powerful than a quick physical hookup

[@miamooshi9589]

So true, heart to heart connection more powerful more difficult to deal with

[@raphaelwokoma2205]

I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a PI/Hacker and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s phones Text messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, if you need help,you can contact him through Gmail : Worldcyberhackers or WhatsApp: [phone]‑3020, infidelity hurts so much

[@ultimatewarrior1234]

@@raphaelwokoma2205 is he valid person brother?

[@raphaelwokoma2205]

@@ultimatewarrior1234 yes he is

[@ultimatewarrior1234]

@@raphaelwokoma2205 are there any chances of misusing details

[@acdc9156]

Completely avoidable: if you are getting too friendly with someone, cut it out. That simple! If you don't do it, than it is intentional cheating. Not happy in your relationship? Say it before getting involved with someone else emotionally or physically

[@Karmaman777]

LOL tell that to all women, lots of men approach them. If someone seems better than you or more of a fit it's done

[@jilfritzius636]

Lol funny, it might not be that simple to recognize the line between friendhip and emotional affairs before it‘s to late 🤣🤦🏼

[@suzyhomeacre]

@@jilfritzius636 I’d have to agree w/you on this. Some people actually make you believe they’re only in it for an easy friendship as well, & all of a sudden they try hitting on you & think you’re ok w/it, when you’ve already set those ground rules in stone. I just lost a friend this way. Guess he wasn’t a friend after all. Pos.

[@QS-si3cq]

*then

[@cherryshellz]

Facts it gives clarity

[@cyannalove7788]

Emotional affair is another form of cheating.. and the feelings sucks💔 You know that something is not right💔

[@annamariascalderaro-defina8969]

My husband is on tictok always.í saw his profile. All woman. Sexy...they live near us, he follows them I asked him to unfollow and he fights and says no...your a bitch. I'm not friends, but they must bé something more if he won't unfollow them. He must be texting.

[@Karmaman777]

Yup you know something isn't right, but it's hidden, so it's not addressed. ADDRESS IT and tell the girl to GET OUT if you can't see their texts and are being secretive. They're CHEATING

[@anhtuyetnguyenthi2010]

1. Feel closer to the friend 2. The friendship is kept secret 3. Think about the friend 4. Pay attention on how you look to this friend 5. Begin to have sexual fantasy with the friend, comparing with the partner, reduced sexual drive to the partner 6. Find opportunities to be alone with the friend. 7. Started to break personal boundaries

[@halfhalf656]

So if he

[@halfhalf656]

So if it’s only in his head and he actually hasn’t done anything yet, i just feel that he seems to attracted to her, what should I do?

[@anhtuyetnguyenthi2010]

@@halfhalf656 hi, I'm not sure what to do. We divorced because everytime I wanted to talk about it, he felt that his characters were attacked and became defensive, angry. He filed for divorce and there was nothing I could do. But I feel so peaceful now not having to live with that anxiety. I'm not sure what advice to give you because our situations may differ. But every choice has a consequence.

[@WickedWordzz]

Spelled the end of my last relationship. He realized the mistakes he made, and had regrets, but the damage was done. Of course they only lasted about 2 months. The grass isn't always greener. He learned that the hard way, and I moved on with my life and am doing much better than I've ever been. Thank you God for that blessing in disguise.

[@Majestic_Dark_Horse]

PSA: There are no victims, just volunteer (s). The grass is "all-ways" greener when you "Court" as a couple with end result of marriage. Stop "dating". Stop "projecting". Ask the right questions. Conclusion: If courting & marriage is not the end result, then it's just "void filling", "screening-out", "dating", "FWB, "Friend zoned" or Volunteer (s) . Voids & insecurities were filled "temporarily" from both sides indirectly or directly. ~Bachelor I Stand...attracting "Goal completion", until then...EU is the way...Got Courting!?

[@brookeamber8148]

WickedWordzz yep I’m there the damage has been done....

[@curli-lettey4319]

That was probably G-D's way of showing you that person wasnt meant for you and this was a way to cut it short instead of going through the typical, arguments, cant agree with anything, physical cheating that you may have snooped and peeked to find out about. (this was an easier way)

[@MacedonianCooPer]

Congrats, I had similar experience, she did not want to go with him now, blocks all , saying she is not aware how she put her self in such a situation... I force her to go free,... freezed , staying like begging ... It's a weird. I never wanted to hold on someone if I am not there priority ... That has no sense.. It is toxic to them and me

[@re3171]

He didn’t make a mistake he made a choice

[@larrymbouche]

The human heart is a treacherous beast and is able to cause terrible pain and grief.

[@marcelo2169]

I didn't know it was happening, until we start talking about how we should've had married each other years ago, she made a joke that we should run away together, I stay up at night staring my pregnant wife and thinking about her. I just told her that we need to stop this, I'm becoming a father and I can't have that in my marriage, she said she is always gonna keep me in her heart. Boy it hearts like hell today.

[@nexusSix_237]

It's been 9 months as of today, how are things now?

[@queenfrost9675]

It's a shame my spouse doesn't realize that he's having a emotional affair with someone he barely knows. I'm literally beginning to emotionally detach myself from him because of it.

[@antoinelyons5323]

It sad to be push away

[@sharilyon5983]

I know how you feel!

[@johntrojan9653]

Hey, I'M A GREAT LISTENER - (Only say'n ***)

[@robertpayne7639]

Been together 14 years 2 kids lovely home, marriage was getting stagnant but thought it would pass, one night my wife said she wants to separate to go figure out her life, start a new chapter. Gut instinct told me to check her phone while asleep, find out she's been texting, snapchatting, Facebook this guy for 2 months and she said we're just friends, the content of the messages suggested otherwise. Follow your gut, I love my wife as of right now I believe it's just emotional, but I pray that's as far as it goes, and hope she realizes what it's doing to our family and diverts the energy into us reconstructing our marriage rather than taking to a point of no return. Our poor children definitely don't deserve this.

[@blessingecoma9233]

Hi Robert Payne, it's been a year now. Hope your marriage is stronger and better now. God bless you.

[@re3171]

Divorce her

[@everready2903]

Update??

[@butterfly1889]

She must have felt that something was missing or she isnt a good person

[@user-dz3gf7yw7o]

you are a good father

[@SeanWeird]

The best is when you start to pick up on these signs from your partner and they reply with “jealous” “controlling” “manipulative” “overbearing”. Some people can’t be reasoned with, best to just end it asap. We don’t have to be together and it’s okay to be single.

[@nostalgicbliss5547]

That's the sign of a covert narcissist

[@gatchcat1297]

Watching this is exactly what happened to me with my husband. It started out as a friend then it became emotional and physical. I found a conversation that they had and now we're trying to work out our marriage. He quickly broke it off with her. We've been married for 38 years.

[@erwinbrubacker7488]

If you both desire to work it out, surely there was Love involved. Blessings

[@inorite4553]

Yeah...I found out my partner did the same thing with some guy. I didn't even know he existed until 8 months after it got physical but by then, they were already 'friends' for 4 years. The emotional attachment she had hurt way worse than knowing they were romping in bed together......and worse when I didn't even know she had 'this friend' until I found the dirty texts and them talking about the memories of those hookups.

[@shroomssadow4981]

@@inorite4553diabolical, I hope you left man

[@Ur2ez4me81]

This just recently happened too me & I’m so heart broken. My health went down the drain this past year & lost two family members & fell into a deep depression. During this time period my wife developed a emotional relationship with her boss & then began talking with another man online. It hurts bc I blame myself bc I wasn’t there for her as much as what I should have been. Also the fact that she wasn’t there for me either while I was going through these horrible times. I love her & forgive her but I don’t want my heart broken again.

[@yanchily]

an ex once told me she never cheated on me.. yes physically and technically and i kept on wondering how those words never felt right all this time.. until i learned this thing called emotional cheating ☺️

[@MrColdasiice]

Didn’t know how dangerous this can be. Every time your”friend” leaves it feels they take a part of you with them.

[@MrQuagmire26]

From experience, emotional affairs also happen when a personality disordered individual need supply/external validation. If a person on top is unable to see their own mistakes, and constantly blame their partner for their own wrongdoings. Well, then there's a chance that this will eventually lead to break-up/divorce.

[@athenaspks419]

I'm not doing any pi shit ... if I cant trust him then I dont need to be with him...and I've been thinking about that more and more ..seriously why stay in an emotionally starved 1sided relationship...I adored him now all I can think is he sees me as not good enough and I'd never be comfortable with him

[@janityy]

I only do open relationships now . I have been in many monogamous relationships in past but now I've evolved past those. I don't think men need to give a woman self esteem , an identity , power or hobbies or a life that is her job. I survived a brutal self initiation and now I'm empowered , I found my True Will and I'm just well powerful I feel powerful So now I will only do open relationships and the rule is each person is to feel as powerful as possible. Staying skinny is empowering for example , having hobbies is empowering . Also dancing for a man stripping for him is empowering. I don't believe there is ever really a reason to talk to a man. Just cook for him ,dance for him ,stay skinny hand him a drink when he gets home so he can relax . He will think he's struck gold that u aren't an emotional mess like most women. I also encourage a man if it will make him feel powerful if he meets a woman who is hot to screen her test for std etc and if it makes him feel powerful to sleep with. Her. Sleeping with other women empowers a man it liberates him it's wonderful I think it's so beautiful if a man I'm with wants to sleep with someone else how wonderful Monogamy is a social construct for the masses who love to live in cages are bored , low self esteem miserable and try to break each other down and control each other and call it love no that's called slavery True love is freedom and power Open relationships are so wonderful but to work each person has to be internally powerful and well we know most people are not self evolved lol

[@janityy]

Most men are miserable because once in a relationship, people get lazy and weak they get fat they don't dance for their man they talk to much ,low self esteem , NO hobbies , are bored and fart around each other all day . This is a recipe for disaster than when a man goes out Into the world he meets all these lovely single women who are skinny ,well rested cause don't have the bullshit hassle of a relationship so is what happens really . Relationships give people a false or semi real sense of security , relationships can be a real self esteem killer. A female can gain more power by being alone and working on herself ,working out etc . I feel sorry for coupled people such a hard life it is what it is such a hard life though

[@janityy]

I dont have to deal with this as like I said I don't cosign monogamy. To me the problem isn't the emotional cheating it's that u decided to put another human soul, a mortal in a cage and lock them up and now ure pissed they don't do as u say . Well that's too bad isn't it we aren't to own or chain mortals so now comes the fallout . Like I said the problem isn't him it's u for putting both of u Into a cage and calling that love Jesus seriously etc

[@VeronicaHernandez-hd3pk]

@@athenaspks419 this is exactly what I'm going through right now. I felt so angry watching this video.

[@truckerflip9977]

Thank you for making this video. Now I know that I was having a emotional affair. I had 3 out 7 signs. I’m aim doing what you said to repair my relationship with my wife. Thanks for sharing this video

[@slick116]

emotional affair = cheating

[@GuaranteedEtern]

At a minimum, it destroys trust which means a relationship cannot continue.

[@Saint-Christopher]

Word. An emotional affair is your woman gearing herself for a bedroom, by accident

[@huckmart2017]

100% Tried to convince my friend what we were doing was wrong and that her husband wouldn't like it.. She said "nahh, its fine! Dont worry about!" A month later we're in bed together... then we start toying with the idea of going on secret romantic getaways. It's a slippery slope.

[@Believerfearless]

Having an emotional affair IS cheating 🙄 why do people hype physical affairs over emotional ones??

[@veronicaalmeda8014]

@@huckmart2017 Thank you for the honesty. I always find that if a person is capable of emotionally cheating, it is because something in the relationship it isn't working to start with. So rather than communicating with the partner, they seek understanding in someone else. They attach to other people and then lose interest in their own partners. What's worst, emotional cheaters constantly will cheat on anyone.

[@ladylexidoo]

I recently only realized that I have been emotionally betrayed for the last 3 years. I knew my partner is attracted, physically and sexually, to other women, but I still gave our relationship a chance. Until recently, I couldn’t take the betrayal anymore. He thought I was stupid to not know that he has been continously checking out the same woman, 2 women, for the last 3 years. I wasn’t jealous, but it hurt so much that despite my sacrifices, my giving it all, it’s still not enough to make him faithful and loyal.💔💔💔😭😭😭

[@sabrinacheng7699]

It happened to me. My ex broke up with me because he didn’t want to stop the emotional affairs he’s involved in. The shitty part is, his excuses was that we have different ethics and morals regarding to friendship. BTW, his so called “friendship “ literally fits the 7 signs. And it hurts me so much. I think he just didn’t love me.

[@brookeherchelroth9373]

Same scenario for me 😣

[@GabrielGarcia-ve9sg]

Once you notice you're in an emotional affair, its already too late. You're all for this friend. Might as well breakup with your boyfriend/girlfriend, and move on with your friend. Otherwise it won't end.

[@becker2278]

Gabriel Garcia 👍 do you mean that it is like a point of no return?

[@GabrielGarcia-ve9sg]

@@becker2278 absolutely positively. Her heart is already inclined towards the other part. Now, you, like a gentleman, quietly step aside. Walk away without an argument or even a word to say. Dont look back. You'll look way better than the ones that throw themselves on the floor screaming why...please dont leave me...and all that bs. Walk away like a champ bro. Remember...dont say one word.

[@becker2278]

Gabriel Garcia 👍 thank you, gabriel. Just walking away is better, both for emotional health and to avoid future complications.

[@chlariepeace7958]

Some times having affair save your marriage

[@GabrielGarcia-ve9sg]

@@chlariepeace7958 kool, then let your wife go and have one.

[@Mari-lv1rd]

Quite by accident I met a taxi driver and began calling him privately for rides to and from the airport. We just clicked in conversation and we both noted that we really enjoyed each other's company. He mentioned his wife so I knew he was off bounds romantically.,but it was so much fun to see him, he is an knowledgeable auto mechanic and helped me twice when I had a car problem. Always a gentleman, pleasant and sweet. I realized I couldn't be friendly anymore when he blurted out that he had decided I was a good woman and that I was one of the nicest people he had ever met. He invited me to meet him, his wife and their friends at a new church in the neighborhood....I just begged off, it just felt wrong. This was an emotional affair that had to be nipped in the bud. The fact that I don't often connect with someone like this is my problem.

[@maryjimenez2515]

My husband had an emotional affair with a woman who lived in Barbados for a year. He found her on line. I would wake up at the wee hours of the morning and he was messaging her. He would send me out of the house to talk to her. He lied to me said he was going with some of his friends on a trip. I believed him. All the time he was in town with her. Then he made 3 trips over there to be with her. I am filling for a divorce. Now he is begging me not to do that. I cannot forgive him or thrust him. All the signs mention were there.

[@user-py7hg1eb5m]

It’s not only emotional he committed adultery since they met many times. They didn’t just talked we are not born yesterday

[@utpalwailong4913]

Astounding clarity on a subject we are vaguely aware of but afflicts many at different times in life.

[@uniquesensitivesnowflake7366]

I cannot sleep because Im in this thing. I can't help it.

[@mov1ngforward]

Follow your heart, it's telling you something.

[@rottie615]

Me too. It’s so hard. I hope you’re doing better

[@MySweetAriane]

It's very hard and I feel alone because I can't tell anyone

[@blaquediamond368]

MY STORY: October last year I found out that my man of 3 years still communicating with his ex. Even though I forgave him. I was never able to express the hurt & anger I felt. I would go to work and cry. My coworker became that listening ear. & before I knew it we became sooo close, later he told me how he was starting to feel about me. Even though deep down I started feeling the same I tried to cut communication, switched shifts, and I would walk pass him. He stopped me outside one night, we talked & we both ended up crying as if we lost our best friend. 🤦🏾‍♀️ Needless to say we’re back communicating. Convincing myself that it’s harmless. I told my cousin I think I’m cheating emotionally & she just laugh as I really try to figure this out. But this video just confirmed it.

[@marciamellow1211]

You can help it...

[@buddha7178]

That's as clear as it gets

[@lindastrehlow295]

If you or your partner have an emotional affair it is the sign that the relationship is OVER! If married, get a divorce. If you have to "work" on a relationship it is over. If it happens once, it will continue to happen. Emotional affairs are just a sign that it is time to move on. Life is too short to stay with someone you cannot connect fully with. Counselors and therapists make their money trying to keep people together that shouldn't be. Period.

[@belle8246]

7 signs: 1. You begin to feel closer to your friend than your partner 2. The friendship is kept secret 3. Yoy began to think of your friend all the time 4. You begin to pay attention how you look to your friend 5. You began feeling sexual and having sexual fantasies 6. Looking for ways to be alone with your friend 7. You break your personal boundaries for your friend

[@keithkimmel6638]

There is a very thin line, indeed, between the emotional affair and the physical affair. In fact, one often predicates the other! It's much like effortlessly moving from Point A to Point B! And it's so unfortunate, they both can be equally devastating to a marital relationship! And as an unsuspecting spouse who was covertly cheated upon by both of my wives, I Unfortunately found out the hard way!

[@tedlee2061]

I'm sorry that happened to you twice Keith. My wife of 6 years has multiple emotional affairs and at least one physical affair, that she's still continuing covertly to this day with her boss that gave her her latest job, on her knees or all fours I'm sure, and we're not even finished with the divorce yet.... she's now pissed that I'm rejecting her grounds for divorce and making sure the public records show that we're divorced because she's abusive, violent, financially abusive and a serial cheater and adulteress. Hopefully the next unsuspecting target will look at her marriage/divorce records before making the biggest mistake of his life. If it had happened twice I'd be in jail or on bail for killing two people with my bare hands. Only time someone has been stupid enough to take advantage of my good selfless nature and think they could ever get away with it ?? Grandiose clusterfucks is all they are and should be used as warm ups for the next hunting season. I wouldn't miss them for more than 5 seconds. Waste of space.

[@morganlefay921]

The emotional affair my partner had, were with 2 people. First time, it was mainly remembering those times where they had something. The other one was that he actually was very engaging with this person, even if she as well had a partner. Emotional affair is just a breath away from turning into physical affair. After finding out about it, and being confronted, he decided for himself he needed help in order to restore our relationship [still in the works to fix it]. The thing that gets me so mad is that he doesn't even have an excuse as to why he did it, was it because I'm not exciting anymore, or because I'm not appealing? I will never know cause it's all an idk answer. It takes so much time to get over it and it basically breaks your self esteem.

[@jeffblunte]

Listening to this is painful but a much needed reality check. Fuck this stuff can sneak up on you. I feel like crying. Thank you for your words. You have a gentle, non judgmental air

[@Majestic_Dark_Horse]

Reminds me of "Shadow work" & "Conscious mind". ~Bachelor I Stand...Got DSM-V!

[@gregorycarlson6632]

I’m a professional who has dealt with situations like this for many years. Great video. I’d like to expand a bit on special attention to one’s appearance. I’d have to say the number one red flag would be if your partner goes that “extra mile “ getting ready when they’re going to be around that person. A bit more attention than usual to hair, makeup, clothing, fragrances, etc. I’d say it’s like getting ready for a first date. If you’re seeing this in your partner I would strongly advise you to pay close attention to the situation and perhaps confront the situation before things go any further. Make them aware that you’re aware!🤔

[@joedouche3818]

Cheating is cheating, emotional affairs are the worse, especially when she claims she does not like the person, but yet he knows EVERYTHING about you personally.

[@ashwinikumar8742]

First time I heard something authentic and to the point.....thanks mam

[@simplyfhranz2185]

But I still have anger and hatred every time I remember that my husband had an affair.

[@MaryJoRapini]

Miss Zoe, that won't go away on it's own. Please download and complete the homework on my web site MaryJoRapini.com and then make an appt. with a therapist. This is going to help you so much. I understand your anger and hurt, but what you don't want to do is let your anger and hurt destroy your chance to let go and love again, okay? Please, do this for you.

[@leyylx]

Get one, its fun.

[@chlariepeace7958]

My husband had a affair after 10 months of been married to him and left me for her and he is still with her I but I forgive so you should too to move on

[@loridevries4198]

⁰⁰⁰0⁰0000000⁰⁰

[@DynamiteKid1224]

Friendly Phransha same here.

[@lululuvsmith5656]

Thank you, it destroyed my life. But caught it and learned to walk away before it got bad. I had to heal myself inside first

[@stephaniestanley8041]

It ruined my life

[@marianaruiz8845]

I was watching target clothing reviews how did I get here 😂

[@dawnelliott8794]

haha that's funny!

[@thomasgallegos2832]

Because you were wondering.

[@geenaredbull6048]

Saaaaaammmmeee 😂😂😂

[@monicathompson9751]

Lol😂😂😂😂😂..

[@efrainl956]

🤣

[@CherryAndy1]

1:46 first sign.

[@jodavin2325]

Thank you.👍

[@marvina1504]

Emotional affair is far damaging than an actual one night stand.

[@nostalgicbliss5547]

Not if you end up getting HIV or HPV

[@TomikaKelly]

I'd leave a man over both.

[@lightofall]

Loyalty is rare now

[@bantuboi3131]

The way I see it, is if you're doing this, you're with the wrong person to begin with and its time to end the relationship. Ppl lose interest in partners all the time. I've seen this behavior before and advise breakup. They'd be happier with this other person anyways.

[@alejandroadc5871]

Sharkboii30 I do agree, however, not completely. I suggest that there may be another reason why you may feel something towards another person while you’re currently in a relationship. It is called limerence and it could be felt for the person you’re in a relationship with or with just another person who you could already know or not. From what I believe, I am sure we are capable of controlling our feelings and emotions, yet, we need first to learn how to control them in order not to be lead by them all the time, because sometimes they can blind us from reality

[@vladimirperez6468]

I don't know why I'm watching if I'm a lone wolf... Greetings from Colombia south America..

[@metrotmobile9299]

Emotional affairs used to relieve loneliness, if the partner is right then such affairs are not needed

[@GuaranteedEtern]

True - but as an equal partner in a relationship, you have an obligation to either fix it or - if your partner can't/won't - then end it.

[@rebellucy5610]

We ALL sometimes feel that way. Does that make it ok to have a affair? No. A commitment is about communication and listening.

[@GuaranteedEtern]

@@rebellucy5610 Correct. It is a deflection strategy to justify an affair because of how bad your partner is - if they're really that bad and the relationship can never be improved, then why not end it? Because of comfort or security? That just means you only see your partner as a useful tool rather than someone you can have real intimacy with.

[@GuaranteedEtern]

@@rebellucy5610 Correct. It is a deflection strategy to justify an affair because of how bad your partner is - if they're really that bad and the relationship can never be improved, then why not end it? Because of comfort or security? That just means you only see your partner as a useful tool rather than someone you can have real intimacy with.

[@loverelationshiptalk3503]

It's true

[@silkroad1201]

My girlfriend of 5 years confides in literally everyone BUT me. You call it cheating, I call it not having to listen to any bullshit

[@MaryJoRapini]

You’ll never share true intimacy if you can’t keep a sacred protected space between the two of you that only the two of you share. If she doesn’t value you enough to share her most personal struggles W/ only you, she lacks healthy boundaries.

[@AustenSummers]

@@MaryJoRapiniwell said

[@emmaransford]

Thanks for your insights insights it's appreciated

[@dawndeeearven1616]

She’s been his longtime good friend. There was something of a relationship I think he mentioned sleeping with her once. He mentions how upset she was when we got married and he’s they don’t talk for along time. They start talking again I meet her and all is fine and well. I’m not in the least threatened by her until one day he mentions she’s texting and every cell in my body goes off so intense my chest wants to explode. I’ve felt something like this before with an ex but never so strong. I try to tell him how I feel. Instantly goes in defense mode yells tells me she’s just a friend and lives in another state so he’s not sleeping with her. Tells me I’m just trying to start drama and he won’t play my games. Married for 6 years and never even thought about Red flags over her. I can’t help myself and go through their messages still feel so strong about this not being just a platonic friendship. Lots of I love you’s from him, a sexual innuendo and request in so many words. He’s on his phone from the time he gets home until he goes to bed. I’m lucky if he kisses me when he comes home. All the signs are there all the red flags and alarms are going off so I guess I’m hoping you can help me with tips on where to go from here?

[@nancyjamescramer]

Going through the same things after 28 years if marriage. I feel so betrayed

[@daizydgmailcom]

DawnDee Earven yuppers DawnDee I Totally Understand my husband of 25 frixken Years has been in an Emotional Affair I just found out for as long as 5 Years! And Everything She said about the Signs Are Dead On Right! Hate to tell you but it will Not Stop and it wont end, maybe he will move on from this girl but he will find another because

[@daizydgmailcom]

He has figured out how to get away with it. I had to insinuate Myself into the “co-worker Friendship” just to get my husband to finally admit and reveal everything. And I had to do that Because he changed jobs and they couldn’t see each other anymore so they got desperate and decided to have her (the co worked) become My Friend so she could come see Him without to much notice. They both kept lying with their mouth but their bodies cannot lie. I have to admit the marriage is over and been over for years now, and I have a plan to leave just need to hang on til July but in the meantime I’m gonna steal her right out from under him he wants me to become a part of their relationship then I will (sometimes that’s the only option cuz if you can’t get mad then you just get even 😂) hang in there find yourself and build yourself up so when or if you decide to make a stand you can in epic style! God bless stay strong you deserve better!

[@karenlenninger1780]

Chi @@daizydgmailcom i

[@stephanieduncan9023]

Lies and Infidelity is a very serious issue to deal with and it’s a major threat to most marriages and relationships.Scars left behind from a narcissist husband is hard to erase from the mind. I was reluctant at first about finding the truth about my cheating husband but I’m glad I finally took the courage for it .I got help from Cyber Hack Solutions as he helped clone my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp , Facebook, Instagram without having access to his phone because he is mostly out of town due to the nature of his work and I was able to track his location too, all I provided was his phone number to this wonderful hacker. This was very revealing for me as he’s a serial cheater until I got into his phone and ended things.I’m glad to uncover his, lies, secrets and Infidelity. You can contact this amazing Hacker David via gmail (cyberhack003) or text and call on his phone and WhatsApp : [phone]

[@chiya2006]

It happened to one family I know. But it was entirely the wife’s fault. Her day was 4 hours gym, 3 hours tv series, 2 hours on the phone with her sisters and family , another 3 hours FB and insta. Her husband was fed up with that that she totally ignored him and the obligation for being a wife and a mother , so he ended up trapped himself in that emotional affair which ended up in a mess. Ladies it’s true story stay away from FB 24 hours and have some time for your husbands and home too before it’s too late .

[@Wasasyra]

Same can be said about men I know this lady family friend she is good wife but husband work fb wapp IMO viver tango Pinterest etc no time for wife but when husband wants it she has give...

[@nicholasblakiston6297]

Sad that people see the relationship that makes them happy as the problem, and not the relationship that is leaving them with that void to fill.

[@losgryfog]

If that relationship is leaving you with such a void...WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO STAY IN IT? WHY ARE YOU LYING, GASLIGHTING AND CRYING WHEN THE OTHER PERSON WANTS TO BREAKUP WITH YOU? Just say you're a scumbag and carry on. You "don't understand" why your partner doesn't want to be lied to 🙄

[@RAMIC-tv1ye]

@@losgryfog no one could have said it as accurate as you did

[@fallon7616]

Love you, Mary 💕 Need to hear this. My husband is cheating 💕😭

[@lindamateri9906]

Yes he does check his phone to see if he has missed any messages from her

[@alexsaral]

Without any communication emotional affairs will continue........thats what happening in my life

[@lisamcgath6094]

They don't have sex but they text each other every day. He never knew her from before but they have been talking since about December of 2019. I this considered cheating?

[@chrissymcnamara5416]

So I officially decided this is happening and I was guilty about it. I was honest with my husband about it, and we communicated a lot about why this may have happened. I was honest with my “best guy friend” and told him that if we wanted to remain friends, we’d need to cut down on the emotional/inappropriate level of conversation. Now he doesn’t want to seem to talk to me at all. Did I get played all along? Probably 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@MaryJoRapini]

Christina, thank you for having the courage to take steps to end it. Yes, your friend was probably trying to be more than a friend all along. Glad you chose your hubby!

[@harryking4007]

Christina Rosci well that's what you decided to do so its one of many unpredictable out comes when you go in this way. why not just leave the husband if being with someone else is what you want

[@BasedGodEmperorTrump]

Only one getting played is your committed partner...

[@BasedGodEmperorTrump]

I don't know what the whole story is but I have to feel sorry for your husband. Relationships are hard but if you truly love and respect each other then the emotional affair shouldn't have happened in the first place. Communication is the foundation for a strong relationship. If you have to confide in another guy and not your husband is sad. It's nobody's business what goes on in your marriage in this regard. The worst part isn't even the affair. It's telling your husband that you're going to stay "friends" with the other after the fact. Totally disrespectful and you don't deserve your husband. Coming from this same situation from your husband's perspective, my ex wife did this same thing and ended up wasting 12 years of my life. If you're any form of descent human being then you'd at least leave your husband if you want to be a harlot. Pathetic.

[@stephanieduncan9023]

Lies and Infidelity is a very serious issue to deal with and it’s a major threat to most marriages and relationships.Scars left behind from a narcissist husband is hard to erase from the mind. I was reluctant at first about finding the truth about my cheating husband but I’m glad I finally took the courage for it .I got help from Cyber Hack Solutions as he helped clone my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp , Facebook, Instagram without having access to his phone because he is mostly out of town due to the nature of his work and I was able to track his location too, all I provided was his phone number to this wonderful hacker. This was very revealing for me as he’s a serial cheater until I got into his phone and ended things.I’m glad to uncover his, lies, secrets and Infidelity. You can contact this amazing Hacker David via gmail (cyberhack003) or text and call on his phone and WhatsApp : [phone]

[@sgtelias2258]

Well then there is the situation where it's an emotional affair to only one of them... that is often the person not knowing they are in before it's too late. While the other person carefully planned and schemed the whole thing... hoping to get sex by first manipulating the other persons emotions.

[@elyon7068]

Girl who I only talked to in university for a bit - never once dated or hung out with - brought her parents to meet me one day. Turns out she’s married. I am stepping away, but still feel bad. She still wants to date and am sure her marriage is ruined

[@oscarmannheim7434]

Yep. Good friend! Been there.

[@larrymbouche]

Emotional affairs and problematic in that the heart has chosen another to being closest to and has put your avowed partner into a relegated back shelf, with apparent ease of access but not in the primary close position any longer. Just on a shelf in a safe easy access location but not requiring any effort to keep it active or in close concern. Not close in the heart anymore. It's in reserve, saved in case of emergency should you feel need of safety and or security. That's why the deception of not disclosing the truth, just in case you might need it's services. Insurance, a safe backup, but easily tossed away if it becomes too much effort to maintain as useful. Using them, not for love a care, but for money, property, and security. It's an easy ATM.

[@ChristinenJoel01]

I feel sick to my stomach. Ugh.

[@ChristinenJoel01]

@Esther D this is incredibly weird. I wrote this comment over 5 months ago. Since then I have forgiven my husband. We have tried to repair the trust he has lost, only to literally TODAY, find that he has made yet another dumb painful mistake. I don't know whether your message is a sign but Lord have mercy is this painful timing.

[@Spokentruths725]

IT'S PUNK TATTOO GUY AGAIN!!! Damn sorry to hear that. God will see you through this. I hope it was just an emotional fling at most.

[@starshine311]

Same

[@veronicaalmeda8014]

Me too and this isn't even happening to me. I just wanted to learn about it.

[@kawehionalani]

Affairs are just the symptom of a bigger problem.

[@devonthomas6737]

True! They're are bigger issues going on that leads to it, not worth the stress!!!

[@jameslesliejr5778]

That is so true it is an underlying problem we need not to let unresolved issues go unresolved

[@beadedguitar]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[@teenatalk7120]

He has talked about his coworker friend to me lol I just looked down and stayed quite and he changed the subject

[@marciamellow1211]

Emotional affairs feel good.... they are in the end... VERY UNHEALTHY... and you feel terrible when they end... they take a hit on your self esteem, however... there IS RECOVERY...💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

[@devonthomas6737]

So true, they're very emotionally draining too. It's better not to open up that door, our focus should be on our spouse and family. Sad thing is many people think nothing is wrong with it!

[@louisaklimentos7583]

When you are married to a narc , I can understand why you would turn to a friend of the opposite sex for support .I believe that the word emotional affair is over used . Unless if you and another person are in love with each other with no sex , it isn’t an emotional affair to me .

[@DynamiteKid1224]

I just did this 2 months ago. I stopped an emotional affair! Did it successfully!

[@ailinejohn4569]

How?

[@DynamiteKid1224]

Ailine John I called the guy and got mad at him. Block him on my wife's Facebook & mobile phone. Since i created the Facebook of my wife I now monitor her Facebook messenger. I monitor all measages coming from personal trainers at Gold's gym. Ever since not one cared to get in touch with her ever again. Plus I joined her at the gym became a member to make sure no one gets near her. And it worked! My wife spends more time witb me now. By the way, I would never hurt my wife physically. But i will punch & kick the guy once i him at the gym for fooling me & being a bad influence to my wife. No more male PT's for my wife. Got a female pt instead. Now go take care of lady my man. Don't you ever let her go! Be kind & gentle to her & she will stick with you. But you have the right to attack & defend your relationship. My battle ain't finished yet. I have yet to teach this guy a lesson. Thanks & God bless you!

[@tyronebiggums1047]

@@DynamiteKid1224 Dude, that man who was messing with your wife is a bad person but you sound like you think your wife is innocent. Your wife is the one who made vows to you, SHE is a piece of shit for having an emotional affair and she WILL do it again unless you confront her and set up boundaries and give REAL consequences if she crosses those boundaries.

[@DynamiteKid1224]

Good point. I'll keep that in mind & work on it. Thanks for the moral support. I can still set those boundaries & still love her unconventionally. I can forgive my wife & work on our relationship.. She know's what I'm capable of. And knows I can get very creepy. Thanks again..

[@tyronebiggums1047]

@@DynamiteKid1224 Yes, you can and should forgive your wife, but FIRST you must get to the bottom of why she allowed herself to go astray and betray you (yes, SHE betrayed you). If she is not willing to take ownership of her part in HER actions then there is no hope. Sure, you probably could have been a better husband (we ALL could be better spouses) but remember that she is the one who was willing to give herself (emotional infidelity is worse in my opinion) to someone else outside the marriage. Once your wife truly understands the act of betrayal she committed, THEN you can forgive her and move forward. Until then, she is just waiting for you to put your guard down again so she can go out and have another flirt session with someone else. Hell, she might even get off on the risky part of doing it behind your back and "almost" getting caught again. All I am saying is, you need to fix your wife. If your wife was unwilling to cheat on you (emotionally or physically) then there is no guy in the world who can seduce her. There will always be an endless supply of men willing to hit on your wife and text, call, email, contact through social media, etc. Your wife is the one who needs to be faithful, she is the one who responded to those advances, SHE is responsible.

[@ROCKSTAR123620]

Dumped em on sight / divorce once they mentioned friend bs

[@Bill0102]

I'm enthralled by this content. I recently enjoyed a similar book, and I was truly enthralled. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint

[@wedaad885]

my husband does this repeatedly. always secretive relationships with women . distant and cold and inattentive with us ... his family. but makes time for this other person and sneaky all the time. My relationship with him is over and he hides on his phone.I stay with him purely bcos of the kids for no other reason. I watch him on his phone and leave him alone.I don't care anymore. He loves being sly and alone and secretive. he doesnt even have a relationship with his siblings..He prefers to be alone. he will be soon.

[@zonaanthrax4480]

Do the same thing back to them

[@onlyme6662]

I hear you loud and clear

[@tomigeorge1949]

I m also in the same predicament. What to do... We have 3 children. So I'm still in this relationship. Nothing more ....just living under one roof.. no talk... No discussion...I won't do even a single glance at his face .. I myself want to take care of my children and all their economic needs. He is not ready to think of it. Always he makes trips with his frnds.Reaching home late at nights.. after drinking alcohol. For a while in the past there had physical attacks to me . Fortunately it is not now.. that even after informing the police.

[@alexhutchesion4562]

Sounds like my wife...

[@Matthew8473]

This is a revelation. I recently read a similar book, and it was a revelation in itself. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint

[@6548ww]

When your spouse continually talks about her or his opposite sex coworkers even in random conversations you better shut that down quickly and investigate thoroughly I pointed out all the signs and was told to my face it was all in my head then it happened anyway she also put me in a sexless relationship it ruined our marriage she felt no guilt whatsoever and still accepts no blame I was told it was in the past so get over it…this is a cold hearted woman at her best ☹️ I hope no man ever has to endure what I did I even saw the signs pointed them out and still couldn’t stop it

[@charleschidester6767]

My wife maintained a "best friend " relationship with her x husband. A friend to both of us. They had children and I expected them to communicate for their benefit. They graduated 10 years ago. This still continued until this summer. He died. Now she has shut down completely with me. I have suspected all along that this was our problem. This is my third marriage. I did not want to fail, and was willing to put up with it, rather than face another devastating divorce. I suspect your answer. But need to hear it from someone who doesn't know us. Thank you.

[@MaryJoRapini]

Ali, it is difficult to say what you should do in regards to staying or leaving, however I will tell you this. I have seen cases just like yours that use a crisis such as this (to me it's a marriage crisis) to gain understanding and actually deepen their marriage. The capacity of love is overwhelming, and marriage isn't something to be taken causally. Before I walked out that door, I'd talk to a marriage counselor and use this as an opportunity to become the best partner I could be no matter what her mistakes or faults were throughout the year. You both made vows to each other, she may not have honored hers, but you can still honor what you vowed with your actions of seeking guidance. Thank you for sharing your story....sharing is the first step to growth and understanding. MJo

[@williamredfern5504]

WHAT A BLOODY LOSER

[@harryking4007]

all iknow hey man I'll say this there's no such thing as friends when you're in a committed relationship or married.now you allowed your wife to have that in your marriage which clearly showed she had no regards for you how you feel or the marriage now you didn't want so called" rock the boat" but look at how that turned out.. she shut down on you when she lost him a sure sign of infidelity whether you want see this or not. see i can say it about you because i can say about me my ex wife left me cold turkey! for her childhood sweet heart totally ripped apart so just because you've been here before and want to desperately get it right ..it still some things you don't tolerate period!! she never should've had no dude outside y'alls relationship talking bout my friend bullsh%t my name's mr harry king take care

[@harambeharambee8138]

You were married three times🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[@harambeharambee8138]

William Redfern hahahahahah right🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[@royjurich1993]

You’re 💯 percent correct !!!

[@tttttttt8038]

I've done that, it was only for 3 days but it advanced fast. Not proud at all. Ended it today. Will let my partner know about it as well because I don't want to keep it secret.

[@nostalgicbliss5547]

Good for you

[@TomikaKelly]

What'd your husband say? Did he even care since the relationship wasn't physical?

[@stevolanddownunder3549]

I notice you didn't mention confessing the affair to their spouse . To just stop the affair and not confess it to your partner and think it's all good is just as sick. Confess it to them so they are at least able to choose if they feel they want to still be with you. To cheat like that is molesting your partners dignity.

[@stevolanddownunder3549]

@@greato80 The cheater knows

[@pipergunderson-swaney4539]

Yup- husband actually ditched me and the kids at a concert to be with her and her suicidal daughter. I never knew. I said if i would have known i would have understood. Instead I found out when you were drunk and telling your guy friend. Meanwhile you had been very mean to me for months.

[@ThePossumone]

No such thing as "just" friends

[@OldLugnutz]

I am so screwed having this.....will probably not end well.

[@katsato3118]

Can you do an episode of this in the workplace more specifically?

[@cindycinn2724]

I don't let my imagination go there..I like to take life easy and let things happen naturally ...that would give me a headache otherwise

[@paulines581]

Interesting. Thank you

[@Karmaman777]

GIRLS BE SNEAKY! Look out guys for them keeping their phones locked and secretive talks

[@blandinalamare9775]

Thank you for this enlightenment sometimes we do it unknowingly

[@victoriah9421]

My husband and I started out with him having an emotional affair. He was in a 5 year emotionally abusive relationship that was going nowhere. I snapped him up two weeks after they broke up.

[@danieluden9448]

Well I'm on the flip side of one of these.. just waiting for something more to happen with her and her work friend I guess

[@koolbeans8292]

AND.......pay attention.....that emotional affair could be with alcohol or narcotics!!!! Then a full blown relationship right under the spouse’s nose will occur. And the destruction will escalate.

[@TheTinyAutistsGuideToTheGalaxy]

I've experienced infidelity , as a young adult we called it cheating. Now that rIm grown and married , my wife and I discussed the subject and I told her that a physical affair , I could handle that . But an emotional one, her falling in love ( whatever that means ) with someone online ? That would hurt more. I think I'm done with relationships.

[@danielinnicg2114]

Everything 100 per cent true and ive nearly lost my whole family over it

[@snarfskywalker2312]

I feel like my husband is having an emotional affair, and it makes me feel like my life is a lie and falling.

[@fern852]

what a great vedio....

[@teresastrawn2036]

Woman and men cant be just friends and i will not tolerate that behavior

[@MaryJoRapini]

Some men and women can be just friends, but in my clinical practice what I see is it depends on several factors: age, stage of life and what each person is looking for. If either is lonely, or is needing someone to make them feel better; it will turn out to be an affair of some sort.

[@rubymoriarty9874]

My hunsband had a emotional affair 15 years. So yes it happens so be careful.

[@harveymushman2219]

Get one too...

[@yvonce7309]

Move on from that toxic relationship.

[@lisa-marieshy9673]

What's the solution when the "friend" is the bookkeeper at his place of work??

[@davidholguin2532]

I think my ex had this type of relationship with her brother...they did some weird shit.

[@nostalgicbliss5547]

Stepbrother??

[@csansovar8785]

The problem is with your partner and them having a "friend" of the opposite sex. Solution? Don't deal with that shit!

[@jaydixson1731]

So true. Went through all this

[@user-jp7rk1uf2n]

I'm having a great time with a lady that has a Master's in Psychology. She is gay and married to another lady. We love each other, but lead our separate lives. Her partner knows about us and says she is not threatened by our relationship. My friend and I don't want our friendship to be anymore than it is now.

[@tinastacy8747]

I am dating a 60 year old man and I am 53 years old. He has a friend she is engaged and me and my boyfriend tell each other that we love you. The friend girl he calls her babe and baby And he call me the same. It makes me feel uncomfortable.

[@TomikaKelly]

If you were there first he should get another nickname for the friend. If the friend was there first he should get another nickname for you.

[@equs1b]

I disagree. We need more than one person in our lives. No lying or sneaking. You can, and should have emotionally intimate relationships. What she is describing is a failing relationship and a REAL affair. Not some special unique "type" of thing.

[@aa-dj9br]

My bf spoke almost every word the same to his female co worker whom met him outside too. He said her name in his sleep while I was awaken. She has bf etc. So you know while he had to go to hospital. She does not stop.

[@kennethultimate02]

Based on your experience, which one is likely to forgive and emotional or physical affair? Men or women?

[@MaryJoRapini]

Kenneth, I can't answer this objectively. Most of my clients are men, and I believe they are more forgiving in emotional affairs. Sexual affairs are very difficult for my male clients.