8 Reasons Why Women "Don't Just Leave"

“It’s a big problem in our society that women are just not believed the first time because people think they’re trying to get attention or money,” Dr. Z explains, addressing the pervasive disbelief of women who report abuse. In this episode, she delves into how societal skepticism, particularly through the lens of recent high-profile cases such as P. Diddy and Cassie, can portray women who report abuse as seeking attention or financial gain.
Dr. Z highlights eight multifaceted reasons that keep women stuck in abusive relationships: fear of escalated violence when leaving, financial dependency, lack of alternative shelter, minimal social support, inability to recognize the abuse as “abuse,” erosion of self-identity, unemployment, and concerns over child custody. These factors are compounded by the overall lack of societal support and understanding of domestic abuse. This episode calls for a societal shift to better support and believe abuse survivors the FIRST time.
Quotes
“We should believe women the first time. We’re so caught up as a society in assuming that people are bad and lying. But I want people to understand that why on earth would somebody go through such a traumatic situation? And for what? Why?” (07:37 | Dr. Z)
“You need to understand the absolute identity breakdown that occurs in these types of relationships. You are mentally brainwashed. You are not in a position to just leave. Think about cults for a second… When they leave, they have to be deprogrammed and they have to go through this whole rigorous process to alter their way of thinking that has been implanted in them for so long. So why is it so difficult for people to understand that that same process-maybe varied here and there-is exactly what happens in narcissistic abuse? That’s the whole point. Control and manipulation-that’s it.” (11:04 | Dr. Z)
“This is why women don't come forward… You can tell I'm extremely passionate about this. I have been really angry at the Diddy/Cassie comments that I have been seeing, especially that ‘it takes two to tango.’ That’s one of the most ignorant comments I can think of.” (36:15 | Dr. Z)
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