Lecture starts @ 6:38 Rule 1: leverage your attention towards them; be willing to stop what you're doing to do this Rule 2: make sure you listen to them; otherwise they'll ignore you; don't ignore their feedback Rule 3: let them share their opinions, or they'll take away your voice (this sounds real similar to rule 2..) Rule 4: don't take away their choices Rule 5: share your comfort with them and give them help Rule 6: be honest about what you value; esfps see you as an investment, so they won't help you out unless they will get a good outcome Rule 7: Don't ask them what they think; they expect you to come to logical conclusions yourself Rule 8: Don't tell them what you want. They'll assume you have bad intentions; tell them what you need
@patrykj5472 жыл бұрын
how to spot a Te user 😂
@aladdout94542 жыл бұрын
this might as well be a how to love intj list wtf.
@saavyz Жыл бұрын
Thx
@sirbradfordofhousejones2 жыл бұрын
A few things about your last point, from an esfp perspective: 1- Saying what you “want” in this case is meaning hopes and dreams without action. If you are not acting on your wants, when will you? Ever? Now? Tomorrow? Instead of what we already agreed to? In spite of my own possible wants? There’s many layers, but to me the inactivity is the problem. 2- intent vs action was spot on. You nailed that. 3- telling me what you want won’t make me hate you. Being a jerk about it and ignoring me will make me hate you. Basically being tone-deaf. Like cutting in line when it was my turn to have a want. Edit: typo (it said time-dead haha)
@CuddleClaw.2 жыл бұрын
My ex husband is an ESFP and I can understand better now how I triggered him unintentionally (I’m an ISTP), no wonder I felt neglected and unloved, because he probably did too. I don’t mind the long lectures, especially when it’s an ISTP lecture. I am listening to all of these. I love this season.
@bekit71312 жыл бұрын
It’s very hard being esfp. I hate conformity but at the same time I like the feeling of belonging. Also there’s a lot of sensor hate online. Sometimes it feels like there’s a social hierarchy of personality types. But you are very down to earth.
@qasimimtiaz9668 Жыл бұрын
only xstjs are full of shit tbh
@corydory672 жыл бұрын
The first thing my ESFP husband and I agreed on is that feelings are not logical, but need to be considered.
@melissawalker40932 жыл бұрын
This helps explain why it is so hard to raise my ESFP 16 yr old daughter. We can be on top of the world and then she hates me later for making her clean. I give my daughter 15 uninterrupted minutes to vent everyday. She usually only needs 10. Thank you Chase this plus your parenting videos are an extreme help.
@andrewross54542 жыл бұрын
Consistently the "The 8 rules for loving an xxxx" series keeps knocking it out.. YES. As I have had many friends that were ESFPs this hits the nail on the head.. All about catering to an ESFP's freedom and watching them light up when you serve as a sounding board for hearing what they want.. They'll make sure you're having the best possible time too.. They're arguably the most fun along with ENFJ and ENTJs imo. Hoping for a series about how the nature of the super ego interacts with the rest of the mind.. have always been fascinated by it.
@Thel-Vadam2 жыл бұрын
I've seen a lot of hatred about you in mbti groups, but frankly your videos are some of the most accurate and informative IMO.
@CSJoseph2 жыл бұрын
They can’t handle a little controversy
@SkillOPill2 жыл бұрын
Spot on! I have an esfp female friend who I know for sure is one now. She loves being the center of the attention and hates when her ideas aren't listened to. Even when they are bad. As an INTP, when I listen to her and show her attention, we click well but I can only show attention for so long before I feel used. After that point we are basically ignoring each other haha
@sylvia4702 жыл бұрын
I totally get that. And as an INTP as well I can't believe when some ppl say we can be a good romantic pair with ESFP. They seem too shallow and attention seeking.
@evanmcfee51392 жыл бұрын
@@sylvia470 Mature ESFP's can be very compassionate and giving
@sylvia4702 жыл бұрын
@@evanmcfee5139 I bet they are, and that they are interesting people. But perhaps INTP don't seek passion in relationship? I guess peace and quiet suit us better. Simply can't imagine happy relationship of those two. ;)
@beefee72792 жыл бұрын
@@sylvia470 @Sylvia I'm an ESFP and I've thought about it as well, I do agree with you, I think that I would find myself drained in some sense because of the INTP's need to be alone and all of the isolation, as someone who always wants to do something it doesn't seem that convenient tbh, but I do know you guys can be pretty hyper as well! XD I might agree with the shallow part also in some sense, it's really easy for an ESFP (from personal experience) to become self centered and shallow, but we are also very open-minded when it comes to hearing others out so if they have people around them to ground them and shine a little light on their problems they often can turn out better, like me even though I know I'm really not a good person I do know that I would be WAY worse if I didn't have my siblings and parents to correct my behavior and my INTP brother actually who has told me on a couple of occasions when I was really being hypocritical, selfish, or just anything that was super negative, and I know without them I would have lost myself and wouldn't care about how I acted at all.
@sylvia4702 жыл бұрын
@@beefee7279 Right? It seems like ESFP in romantic relationship with INTP would feel like a dying flower, of course after some amount of time. I guess those opposite traits wouldn't be that visible during a short romance, though. It feels also like in order to make it, one of them would have to change for the other, and that's not healthy. Good for you that you can have a nice relationship with your INTP-brother, I guess we can learn a lot from each other as friends, but we would suffer as couples.
@linachaib6842 жыл бұрын
As an ESFP If you're an INTP ily 😩
@ellenoriwasabi56722 жыл бұрын
As an INTP 🫂
@vanillalemur45692 жыл бұрын
this is perfect! as an INTP dating an ESFP and not really knowing how to help them, i cant thank you enough for this :)
@rogueturtle2 жыл бұрын
Bees
@vanillalemur45692 жыл бұрын
@@rogueturtle bees.
@uditgupta212 жыл бұрын
@@rogueturtle bees ?
@laurahimesekai2 жыл бұрын
1,5 half years right now and we both super happy together with my intp bf :) keep going 👍🏻
@micahzeitlin92782 жыл бұрын
The more information the better, I don't care how long it takes
@00Klingon2 жыл бұрын
I know an ESFP married to an ISFJ woman. She's so frustrated with him because I believe he's mostly given up. He barely invests energy on the relationship, and she complains how irresponsible he is with everything. At her birthday party, he began inappropriately timed blasting music very loud so that everyone was yelling at him to turn it down and he just continued dancing with his eyes closed, ignoring people. Imagine that, an Se hero who "didn't hear you". Only just recently they've started spending more time doing spontaneous family outings together again and it seems things are improving. I think they are a prime example of the golden pair - highest highs and lowest lows.
@dinaf.k5372 Жыл бұрын
Well, that's really immature :/
@sonofhibbs442511 ай бұрын
Sounds like hell.😵💫
@melindachapman96372 жыл бұрын
As an ENTP I struggle with my ESFP relationships. Love how on key you are about how they function and how simple it can be to communicate always a pleasure with your content always appreciated!!
@007dusan12 жыл бұрын
You basically described my ESFP old friend . Always pretending to be captain, always opinionated, always reminiscient of past etc... Some of the things I did naturally, some I did not know about. Although we distanced because neither of us see something to gain by hanging out anymore.
@oliviathatcher1459Ай бұрын
I am so grateful for this video. My ESFP sister whom I love very much (yes, I do think this video can still be relevant for non-romantic relationships) cut me, an INFP, off this week. I would have been DISTRAUGHT if not for this video. This, combined with what you said in its INFP counterpart, explains everything. I don’t want to hear her scathing comments. I don’t want to be given parenting advice from someone without kids. But this is her way of showing she cares! I ask her what she thinks all the time. I can’t believe it when she can’t tell me so I keep asking questions to try and draw it from her and she then feels small. I’m a busy mum of three so don’t give her much attention between visits. That probably hurts her. When I express what I want she puts me down. When I do something that unintentionally inhibits her freedom she gets irate. And on and on. I’ll let you know how we go…
@mamawarriorprincessdaughte7972 жыл бұрын
Yes, oh my gosh.. it’s so hard for me to not let my SE rage come out when I feel cornered.. I soo fucking feel all of this.. I need an ISFJ in my life! Like a mom that wants to come help me or something.. I’d love help with my relationship with my ENTP husband.. at least that’s how we have him typed. Oh my gosh.. your so right about the actions, don’t tell me what you plan to do.. do it. Prove it. It’s scary how your like just explaining me perfectly. I keep adding.. haha.. We need to be reminded of HOW our partner is fighting for us bc sometimes we overlook things when we don’t get what we are specifically looking for..
@darian31102 жыл бұрын
THANK YOU CSJ ❤️ I seriously need one of these lectures but for ENTPs! I'm an ENTJ girl (unless I'm an ESTJ, no longer sure😅) and I think my ENTP guy is pretty happy but sometimes I'm clueless on what's happening in his hеad and I don't think we have a full understanding of one another... Looking forward to 8 rules for loving ENTP 🙏
@loverofbeautifulthings2 жыл бұрын
ISTJ here in a new relationship with an ESFP and I adore him. So it feels like I need to be the one to learn and research all about him and instead of being chased (which I prefer) I need to chase him? Show him I adore him? It's so difficult for me, haha! I am guessing an ESFP would never go on KZbin and research what an ISTJ needs so I guess it's all up to me? *sigh* It will be a struggle to let loose and pursue this man, but I guess I will do what I gotta do because I feel it will be a good thing in the end.
@CSJoseph2 жыл бұрын
Just watch the video with volume up with him nearby
@blackkitty9098 Жыл бұрын
As rule no.4 , I understand that pain. Just imagine that freedom is taken away 😐 Anw, i witnessed a lot of entitle esfps in my life. They constantly rely on their isfjs/esfjs to clean up their messes . Opionated person. Esfjs/isfjs i know constantly complain to me that they are irresponsible. Until I met my well-developed esfp colleague. The part that I proud about her is she has an istp father that helped her to be independent. He encouraged her to be free and listened her vents. He gives her choices and freedom . That way,she learns that she needs to fix her problem. I have to admit, when they are wiser by giving me advices to me from her past experiences , I stop to what i am doing and listen. I am proud of her. I am impressed 😯👌
@beefee72792 жыл бұрын
Hey just wanna let you know that I like how long your videos are, I hope that you don't decide to shorten them, btw awesome accurate video! (Coming from an ESFP) I'm actually crazy impressed with how accurate this is!
@Nour-rk4ru2 жыл бұрын
i'm an ESFP and i LOVE, ABSOLUTELY LOVE how long these videos are!!!! Please DON'T make them shorter. Thank you!!!!!! ( We get the most informations when they're this long)
@laurahimesekai2 жыл бұрын
Im soooo angry because some ppl cryed about long episodes and thats why MY ONE is only 35 min when I can listen like 1 hour…im sooo sad and angry and i refresed every day your page when i will see esfp 8 rules…🥺🤯😡😭 and its only 35 min…I love your work…im soooooo ahhh overwearmed with feelings now…🥶😱 (esfp)
@abrahiemdash76762 жыл бұрын
It's okay if your videos are long I already predicted the 8 rules of love for the rest of the types since the first video of this series. I'm here for the valuable information you say in between
@evanmcfee51392 жыл бұрын
My ESFP best friend is super dope. He's currently about to get a job with our government in foreign policy, and his music production skills are absolute fire. Him and his EXFJ gf are literally the best thing ever.
@sirbradfordofhousejones2 жыл бұрын
I’m very impressed with your breakdown of how an esfp constantly sacrifices their own comfort for Si users. This has been INCREDIBLY accurate for me with my wife, daughter, brother, and mom. All four. I’m so grateful that my ENFP wife knows this and thanks me for it. Great video, Chase. Your esfp content is spot on as usual. Points 2-3 in particular were fabulous.
@b0r_at2 жыл бұрын
The more you talk the more I listen. Make them as long as you want to!
@archetopics94732 жыл бұрын
Nahhh, don't listen to people who say they are too long. Say what you need to say
@oliviathatcher1459Ай бұрын
I cannot relate to those who complain about the length of these videos. How would you not want to learn as much as you could about loving your partner or sister or friend?!!! I wish it was double the length!!
@Who-oe7jm2 жыл бұрын
I do hate crying baby’s ….. well my dog barking 🤣
@Atlas-ck9vm Жыл бұрын
I really like you are genuinely humble even though you might not look so for many. Respect man.
@assastral12482 жыл бұрын
i have been called out like 3 times already and i'm only on 10th minute. You explained why my previous relationships didnt work out
@rahele7186 Жыл бұрын
The second one is true as much as I find it weird but I care too much and it's also really easy for me to ignore and not give a shit
@SgtRock-LeatherNuts Жыл бұрын
Married to an ISTJ for almost 30 years now, going through a divorce, have lived apart for last 3 years, own and run a business together (WOW, that's fun). We both got EVERYTHING completely wrong for the entire relationship. Have been studying MBTI since about 2013 and struggling to correct it all but it was too late. Wished I could do it over with everything I've learned related to MBTI, but it's done :( Now, from what I'm still learning, I have a feeling that divorcing an ISTJ female is going to be a real hoot, best time of my life, SMH
@dinaf.k5372 Жыл бұрын
Are you an ESFP? Aren't you guys compatible?
@potsnpaninis2 жыл бұрын
I’ve missed these lectures so much :)! You rock Chase!!
@hannah_marie972 жыл бұрын
Amazing lecture, as always. I agreed with everything you said and it explains so much about why I get frustrated with certain people!
@nicholasedmunds59752 жыл бұрын
My mother took your test, scored ENTP, which I don’t even have an analogy for that. I did not know how she could be finished in what, 80 seconds? She is an ESFP through and through. She focuses on the small picture, like, saying things like that will not happen, that will never change, you can’t worry about it. Even with these responses are so off from my thoughts. Our conversations are always me saying, that is not the point, that is not what I mean. She looks at the examples as the big picture, whereas, the examples for me are merely side details . Like when you were describing morals, and you spoke about abortion (that may be abhorrent to an individual who has introverted feeling). We can never talk about that, because that side detail will become the main conversation. But the positives that you mention, those are important to focus on because they are overshadowed by a very negative description online.
@MichaellaSapphire4 ай бұрын
Never before had I ever heard anyone describe my love relationship habits to a T, I'm tearing up lol. I wish my ENFJ husband can watch this.
@madmystic65292 жыл бұрын
Hot take from an INTP dating an ESFP: Well, damn.
@sunnymccalister2342 жыл бұрын
Thank you for making this. It was very helpful!
@beautytothemac2 жыл бұрын
I remember an ESFP being there for me (INFP) listening to me and helping me, then he fell on hard times and got broke. I gave him some money to help him financially, he said that no amount of money could make up for the counselling sessions he gave me. They covert contract so much it’s ridiculous.
@CuddleClaw.2 жыл бұрын
Bulletproofing relationship. Great idea. I’m definitely interested.
@curtisharrington8582 жыл бұрын
Really great complimentary anecdotes!
@maxienorvege45992 жыл бұрын
i'm very impressed that you know the Fi point, that's something i've only shared with one person as far as i can remember, that i won't share my feelings until i'm sure that they will treat what i share, fairly
@bekit71312 жыл бұрын
I agree about esfps going on a journey & want to keep options open. The problem esfps I think have is the world doesn’t take them seriously even it’s an uphill battle to convince someone of the truth when you’re an esfp.
@isabelledinneweth2 жыл бұрын
I think my youngest son is a ESFP ,he is complex for sure .... this is verry helpfull .thank you
@bekit71312 жыл бұрын
Wow everyone online has beef with esfps. Thanks know about the stone walling. It might come from trauma. I know most of my life it was very hard to ignore people especially when they made body language that made me pay attention. But overtime I had to start ignoring snide comments & other mean stuff directed my way. Contrary to popular belief esfps are not life of the party. 🎈 They are good at entertaining most people.Esfps are very much like clowns. They can be funny, cute, compassionate or off putting.
@Shay-el5iy2 жыл бұрын
I really enjoyed this video analysis n the information n insight you shared...I am an intj-t 1w9 s/p sociotype LII female n my bestfriend of 23 years is an esfp 9w1 male n I literally related to everything you said...do you have any other videos discussing the same topic between the dynamic of an intj and esfp??? Thanks, appreciate you
@aishanusoul2 жыл бұрын
I'd be interested on that too. I'm a female INTJ interested in an esfp male
@aishanusoul2 жыл бұрын
I think esfps have strong persistence if it's important
@lujainomar57882 жыл бұрын
I think u should create content around how the type grid was made or why it is the way it is ,what makes a person direct for example and what makes them informative and how different cognitive functions impact the communication style/ temperament.
@CSJoseph2 жыл бұрын
It’s coming
@saavyz2 жыл бұрын
You should link up with Fresh and Fit. That would be legendary.
@CSJoseph2 жыл бұрын
The internet couldn’t handle it
@melindachapman96372 жыл бұрын
That would be a beautiful train wreck lmao
@simpletomash2 жыл бұрын
I-it's crazy It's HORRIBLE It's *LIFE*
@devinbrines2 жыл бұрын
Gamma quadra forever, bitches
@jobo88682 жыл бұрын
Bro... 💀
@Mugzchunch2 жыл бұрын
Yeah ok jesse pinkman
@sirbradfordofhousejones2 жыл бұрын
My boi!!! Hi Devin!
@devinbrines2 жыл бұрын
@@Mugzchunch More like Jane, but I'll take it 🤙
@devinbrines2 жыл бұрын
@@sirbradfordofhousejones Hey bud. =) Hope you have a beautiful day. =)
@micahzeitlin92782 жыл бұрын
I love this series, it's so honest and in depth
@korinaramirez4792 жыл бұрын
Its true, my emotions are dumb. XD - ESFP
@mlghs87712 жыл бұрын
with practice comes progress
@haynministries91022 жыл бұрын
Thankyou I’ve been waiting for this !
@JungINFJ2 жыл бұрын
I might have asked this already (don't remember haha) but if the ENTP/INFJ relationship is pedagogue what is the ESFP/INFJ relationship or benefit? I ask because my two favorite youtubers right now happen to be ENTP and ESFP and I don't think that's coincidence. There is a pattern here...
@Eric-bg2so2 жыл бұрын
Are there many INTJ focused ESFP’s out there? I can think of many examples of INTJ focused ENTP’s like Chase and ESFP focused INTJ’s like myself but not INTJ focused ESFP’s.
@Entyipo2 жыл бұрын
Taylor Swift is one
@sarahmartin91072 жыл бұрын
Yes, have been, broke me.
@romain60632 жыл бұрын
Damn I feel like an Se hero listening to this
@maxienorvege45992 жыл бұрын
very accurate, very nice video, thank you
@neptunejoo2 жыл бұрын
How about next time how to destroy ESFP because I need to outthink them all the time 😂
@CSJoseph2 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/iIa4Z6SpqZuLeZY
@Lm56lm2 жыл бұрын
I’m infp with an esfp boss in a bad period. Is there a vidéo You recommand to me? I need help. Thanks ♥️
@HeshaRoberto2 жыл бұрын
i'm just waiting for this!
@aslimoallin8324 Жыл бұрын
I love the video, but can anyone simplify the 8 rules please?
@neonz11322 жыл бұрын
To be honest I am actually interested in date an esfp. (Don’t mind this)
@Researcher98682 жыл бұрын
God this one is spot on. You know me better than my own mother. 🤣🤣 I will never date a Ti parent again. Worst relationship ever!! I felt horrible after my fights with my ex ESTP gf. My Fi parent destroyed her Fe child to the point she was in tears and I felt so bad afterwards but she was trying to use logic to destroy my beliefs/values and I did NOT HAVE IT. Ti parent just come off so cold to me. It's like these horrible dark world that shouldn't exist. 🤣🤣🤣 Horrible combination. Current gf is an esfj which things are so much better. The ti inferior is still stubborn like you say and an echo chamber for sure. 🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️.
@sominshadi62359 ай бұрын
My bf need to check this out
@amber78252 жыл бұрын
I like the beanie 🤗
@lujainomar57882 жыл бұрын
How would u know an istp likes u back? And what changes that ?
@lujainomar57882 жыл бұрын
What would make an istp get bored from u ?
@lujainomar57882 жыл бұрын
How is the opinion different from to voice?
@sandradibiaso7316 Жыл бұрын
Definitely having an ex I still have feelings for reminiscing to me about fun times in the past like the sex we had and all the other fun stuff will get me to want to have sex with him. Being respected and having choices are so important for us too. Raising children makes us ESFPs rely on our ISFJ unconscious. Yes stop what you are doing when I have important stuff to talk about like when I get good feedback at work or when I had the worst day at work. If you just give me a blank stare like an INTJ would give me or don't seem to care at all then I will lose attraction for you. I am highly opinionated and if you dismiss me about my opinions then I will lose interest in you. I also love affection in a relationship. I do forget to shut lights off and leave a mess in my room when things are chaotic in my life or if I don't feel happy. I hate when an Si using boyfriend takes me to an office party I didn't want to go to just because he thinks he is obligated to go to it and he doesn't bother asking me if I want to go to it or feel like going to it or when an Si user whom I am dating takes me to meet his kids and go out to eat with his kids when I am not ready to meet his kids. You made me cry about how we ESFPs sacrifice our comfort for our partner.
@haleyross22552 жыл бұрын
Do you think there’s any chance for an ENFP with an ESFP long term?
@fareearezakhan77312 жыл бұрын
Does ESFP-INFP long term romantic relationship work out?
@sandymakesplans2 ай бұрын
entp wearing the entp uniform 🥋🧔🏻🎧🧤⏰✒️♠️🔲🔳
@nowie40072 жыл бұрын
Love esfp
@thedestroyercreator2 жыл бұрын
Esfps are not good at public speech ? :/ I thought they were the ultimate entertainers
@alex.does.comedy2 жыл бұрын
it's one thing to tell a story, play a role or tell a joke. It's another to actually formulate arguments on the fly or formulate logical conclusions.
@sirbradfordofhousejones2 жыл бұрын
I can talk to absolutely anybody… until I’m on a stage and have to explain something. That turns me into an absolute bundle of nerves
@thedestroyercreator2 жыл бұрын
@@sirbradfordofhousejones i got itt
@thedestroyercreator2 жыл бұрын
@@alex.does.comedy yeah it's right I got it
@essykare88667 ай бұрын
wow just wow
@cara77002 жыл бұрын
How can you tell whether you are subconscious or unconscious focused?
@CSJoseph2 жыл бұрын
I discussed that in a recent Cutting Edge inside the members area if you're interested.
@ammar92792 жыл бұрын
Yeah i "think" Korra is an ESFP
@7733rk2 жыл бұрын
Hmmm 🧐
@dovio8322 жыл бұрын
I love esfp but damn no other type put me more in my isfj subconscious than them . I just behaved like a soft baby around them .