8 Rules for Loving an INFP | Season 27 | CS Joseph

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CS Joseph discusses 8 rules for loving an INFP.
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[@spiritualspartan884]

It sounds like an INFP hurt you I’m sorry and it seems like the INfP you met were immature and unhealed and possibly narcissistic. I’ve been there- it’s not power we need to feel safe but feeling safe is critical. I feel like I’ll have to respectfully disagree here. You are wrong about having to have power over the relationship it’s personal power and being accepted for needing the freedom to be who we are.

[@dxfifa]

INFP catchphrase when called out or seeing a "bad opinion" "Who hurt you?"

[@dxfifa]

No xxFPs, people don't always think seemingly blunt or rude opinions because they were upset or think about it as morally bad, sometimes, especially with xxTPs (Ti first judging) they just simply think it is true that x is y or y means z

[@eminemstrash2021]

As an ENTJ I don't feel this is an entirely fair shake for INFP's. Due to the expansive nature of Ne, many INFP's felt isolated, different, and unseen in childhood. Justifiably so, Ne takes a long time to develop, and who can offer guidance to Ne? So their base experience is being an outcast, while being confused about why they're different. Secondly, their Fi takes this experience and intensifies it. They don't only experience isolation ans rejection, but they FEEL it deeply. Thirdly, their Ti Critic starts to self criticize, as they desperately seek to find out what their worth and usefulness in this world is. That's a pretty rough experience. As the most powerful of all the personalities, I don't blame INFP's for desiring influence, for wanting to be desirable, for wishing they were seen. These are the factors they didn't get, even from childhood, and that's not their fault, it's the outcome of their function stack in an ignorant world that often overlooks how amazing they really are. INFP's have the most potent form of love, understanding and accepting people for who they are. The INFP I know has great influence over me, and I have great power over many. If I had to choose amongst everyone I know and bestow power over them, it would be my INFP, as she's the one I can objectively trust. I do not see the world through rose colored glasses, and I believe my judgement on this is precise.

[@ninaivana1106]

❤️

[@muffylittlemoon]

I'm in a relationship with an entj and I'm an infp and they think this exact way.

[@eminemstrash2021]

@@muffylittlemoon hahaha, is that a good thing?

[@muffylittlemoon]

@eminemstrash2021 well! I love him very dearly and it's sweet how he looks up to me, so, yes? Haha

[@tiagonthego]

I’ve never felt so understood, especially from an entj (I’ve had really bad experiences related to power with them) so thank you so much for this. I wish the entj in my life felt this way about me.

[@HansanaPerera-fy5ti]

"they are so used to people giving up on them" this hits home 😢

[@user-rv8nj9cw7r]

When infps own their true inner power and love themselves, they dont have the need for lower sources of power. An evolved infp feels empowered from within and can inspire and empower others, which is their life purpose. This is my life experience as a mature infp after doing a lot of inner work.

[@core7796]

23:15 Rule 1: factor in your INFP for decision making Rule 2: Don't give up on your INFP (and be willing to take solid concrete action to prove and demostrate) Rule 3: Always challenge their comfort zone Rule 4: Help them become authority amongs people that they know and respect Rule 5: Help them learn to be grateful to those that give them power and influence (don't get in the away if they do) Rule 6: Help your INFP be honest with what they actually want (esp when it comes to authority, power, and influence) Rule 7: Help them learn to perform better (don't let them be comfortable with their own filth) Rule 8: Never criticize your INFP, instead get many people they actually respect to intervene

[@andreag4477]

Rule 5 is don't get in the way lol

[@loisrabies8713]

ngl makes sense

[@core7796]

@@andreag4477 I updated it, thanks

[@HiHi-ub2sm]

Yah, Infps pretty dumb

[@zombiebean6191]

Rule 0/The defining factor behind loving INFPs: 20:04

[@abbieroseman8244]

It sounds like many INFPs have many deep wounds that need healed. They are very deep feelers. They can get caught in a loop between their internal feeling and the outside world. Many people were raised in the church culture and if an INFP is raised in the church this world doesn’t add up to their inner values. Their trick is being versatile to the outside world and trying to fit in. They are ideal! They want the perfect life. More importantly they want their inner world to be perfect. Not achievable but worth fighting for. They dream big and wish for magical experiences.

[@returnoftheromans6726]

How do you know this??? Spot on!

[@potsnpaninis]

Spot on, thanks for sharing!

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

I said to a friend the other day I’m a deep soul in the shallow end of the pool.

[@BrianBroughten]

leverage is only necessary for unhealed or dark INFPs, you grossly underestimate the healthy ones in my opinion

[@someoneRando_]

I'm an INFJ with an INFP girlfriend, and I wanted you to post this so bad. One thing I knew had to be mentioned was her very pessimistic Ne. Being on the receiving end of paranoia instead of always being the paranoid one is sometimes frustrating, but a valuable lesson. I knew words were cheap from the get-go. I knew she needed concrete proof I wanted and loved her as insanely as I do, so now her track-record is probably a little filled. But I also understand she does this because she was hurt before, even by me. And thankfully, she has so much faith in me now, I can't even believe it, and you've reminded me of how important it is to show I'll never give up on her. But what I wasn't expecting was you mentioning how power hungry INFP's are. At first, my Ti child was doubting this is true, but you're right. The thing is, and this should have been said a little more clearly even though you did mention it somewhat, power is a means to an end for INFP's. They need influence to actually help create the world they, as idealists, imagine. Because of the way you said this, she felt like you were accusing her of being shallow and only caring about status. Thankfully I realised what you meant and explained it to her, ahah. And as advice, please make a correction in the comments. You said INFP's are triple interest. Sure, they have 3 interest sides in their mind, but not all in a row. I'm sure it was just an accident, but for anyone who's not familiar with your content, they'll be getting some slightly wrong info. With this said, this was indeed a great video, and I can't thank you enough, Chase.

[@mehello4913]

Thanks for that little bit of extra info. I was feeling the same way your girlfriend felt. Could you please explain a little bit more? I am still confused.

[@someoneRando_]

@@mehello4913 Of course. Basically, the truth is people are more likely to listen to people they like or respect. Since we have positive feelings towards these people, there's no voice in our heads saying bad things about them, and so, we're more foccused on what they actually say. I think many INFP's develop an unconscious awareness of this. And so, they start seeking power, so they get this type of clean listening ears ready to hear their voice and their beliefs. So Fi hero gets to share what they believe in without Te inferior fearing the reception, (what people would think of them). The priority is to spread the message of better principles and eradication of ignorance. So what INFP's truly care for is influence, not power. Power is a tool used to have influence. I hope this helps.

[@anniw.4737]

🥹 thank you. I love infjs. Infps always get misunderstood but it takes like a millennium for us to realize a comeback. Meanwhile when infjs are there they literally time travelled to the millennium and took what the future infps wanted to say and carried it back to the present infp.

[@someoneRando_]

@@anniw.4737 You're very welcome. We love you as well. The world is not good on you at all. So I want to be a little different than that. We're both idealists, after all. We're in this together

[@zephdo2971]

​@@someoneRando_ i never felt so understood...

[@maidforhire93]

Dude, what Infp broke your heart? I've watched several of your videos of 8 rules of loving Mbti types. None of the other videos have this much animosity and hostility. Yes, I'm an Infp myself. Our deadliest sin is our Idealism. The way we see potential in people/world on how it could be. We're non-judgmental mediatorsat at heart. Dont see how that translates into Infp craving power.

[@CSJoseph]

INFPs have never been important enough to me to ever allow them the opportunity to break my heart. I would rather deal with conniving INTJ hoes than with the lazy and entitled likes of an INFP woman.

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

@@CSJoseph all you do is show me that you think a desire for being respected is power it’s not power

[@t-man5196]

As an INTJ with multiple INFP good friends and an INFP mom, I actually relate to a lot of what he says here

[@icingcake]

“Conniving INTJ hoes” lol 😂😂😂 laughing as an INTJ woman - why do I find this so funny 😆😆😆 I guess because I can picture it 😝😝😝 sounds like all the women in James Bond movies 🤣🤣🤣

[@icingcake]

@@AR225S2 I’m laughing at the @CSJoseph reply above 👆

[@jeffreystewart9809]

INFP myself and single, but I'm finding good insight for treating and loving myself better. Thanks for that.

[@LCardosed92]

Chase everything you say about power makes so much sense. Most INFPs for example at some point in life have dreamt about marrying a prince/princess. And not only because it looks cute. Deep inside we all have this desire to get in higher ranks and enter royalty, and having a husband/wife who can give us power is the ultimate fulfillment for an INFP. On the other hand, worst thing that can happen is the other way around. If husband/wife does not give INFP ant sort of power/status and instead takes the little amount of power the INFP has for themselves. It is terrible.

[@Bluz1]

Thats interesting because as an INFP I've always despised "royalty" and people who admire those leeches. Getting into power by marrying to a person from a "higher rank" would be the greatest defeat for me.

[@QuiietHeart]

You know, criticism really works for me if people give me grace when they do it. If they let me know that they still think i’m a good person, and help me to regain my strength/power through tangible strategies and tools, then I am more willing to accept it. Actually, I become quite motivated if somebody does that for me. Just something that I noticed about myself… I don’t expect people to do that, but it works! 😂. Also your are 100% correct by our obsession with power. It feels really shitty to be powerless all the time, especially when you’re thinking of ways to make the world better and want to put that into action before you die. Anyways, thanks for simultaneously roasting and praising us as always. I appreciate your thoughts. Edit: Templars are sooo so good at the criticism w/ grace thing. It makes me swoon tbh. The problem is that if we aren’t given grace, we spiral into feelings of worthlessness again, and again, and again because we will never get the outcome we want. I think we also just feel like selfish & terrible people all the time because of the whole struggle between power and powerlessness.

[@CSJoseph]

Thanks for this post. I learned something valuable

[@alisonfisher1877]

This is so true. I tend to feel a little insulted if people don’t tell me where I need work if it’s apparent to them. I don’t want to be treated with kid gloves and it’s usually pretty easy to tell what the motivation behind the criticism is. If it’s a genuine desire to help me improve and I agree once it’s pointed out, then I follow instructions eagerly to achieve and please.

[@saradwyer2451]

We want power so we can change how things are currently operated in order to make the world a better place…we want to influence (passive form of power) others for the good…but at the same time we want to do it behind the scenes…we don’t like all the attention on us because it makes us uncomfortable. But in our intimate relationships we need a partner that will support and recognize that part of us.

[@hsulinnnwe3551]

Same here, I totally agree with you.

[@Montanero]

Everybody wants to rule the world 🎶, some are just honest about it

[@saradwyer2451]

I feel like my soul is naked after listening to this. So true about what hidden and totally unexpected motivations infps have. Nfjs are always pushing infps to accomplish their best. Wow! That’s all I have to say. Amazing lecture!

[@agot7fan855]

Yeah that one hit hard!

[@saradwyer2451]

@@agot7fan855 lol…🤣

[@bewater6684]

This clarified a lot of actions i take in my life, my motivations. I have always worked really hard in leading positions of a group that was accepting and supportive of me. It made me realise my true potential. Thanks man, this is eye opening

[@rosaliemcg2979]

Thank you for calling us out and not only calling us out but providing the reason why we are this way. Thank you for accepting that this is the way infps are as a result of the way we are overlooked. I am paranoid because life has proven to me that people (especially guys) don't want me or only want me for what I can give them. You have really exposed my heart, I don't even know how to describe how that makes me feel. I really appreciate this.

[@DrenCross]

We are so power hungry 🤣 idk about the rest of you INFP's but I pride myself on it. > Triple results > So interest based > Affiliative asf > Play it till you make it > Most patient of all the types These hit the mark so hard. I can't express enough how much I want to be understood on this level and yet still be wanted. I watched it with my ENTP bestie that expressed he thinks he trusts me less because of my betrayal vice. 😅 > So cynical if you even want them > So used to people giving up on them > Words are not enough, you can't say "oh I want you" because they've heard that before, like from everyone in their life > Their Si child is so sensitive that their Ne parent just can't take that risk. LITERALLY. > Words are cheap, talk is cheap, they know it because their talk is cheap, they use cheap talk on everyone. > If they see that your talk is cheap, because you so easily give up on them, do you think they'll be comfortable being in a relationship with you? > Most lazy of all the types. > So triple outcome so why bother if it isn't going to happen. > Short term pain will lead to long term power and authority. > Tell them what they should do, what they'll get from it. > Tell INFP that if they don't get up today, there's a huge opportunity cost. I'll stop here. But fuck, thank you C.S.J such valuable information that I've been craving.

[@hello-rz4kx]

The only person I want to conquer is myself, as a practitioner of soft skills and constantly improving my relationship skills, the last thing I want is power. The last time I was given authority I got too stressed and lashed out for the next 8 hours! Power = my personal punishment from then on, sincerely another INFP

[@OMFGWTFBBQ87]

I'm an INTP who's been for 5+ years with an INFP. We have moved on now, but still I was waiting for this episode to come out. I can confirm these things you said here did happen in the relationship. It was a mind boggling realization that we make a couple that is so hard to get to work. I was not involved with typology at all when we were still together, but it's interesting to go back and analyze the dynamics. I never realized that she actually wanted authority, but now that I look at it, this explains the feeling when I felt like she's not being authentic. As if she just wanted to something because of a non-existant pressure from outside, or just to show off. Of course she could never actually tell what she wants, either I made the good guess or I didn't. Having to prove I love her over and over again, almost every single day, is what made me end the relationship. I just can't deal with that, because me loving her was always such a core principle of my life even, It started to hurt more and more that she doesn't accept is as a fact. Over time I had to realize I will never be the person to satisfy this need, nor I will be truly happy with her. So I gave up on her, but in retrospect It's clear it was the correct decision, I'm with an ESFP now, and this is basically everything I ever wanted from a woman and more, and my ex is with whom I'd believe is an ENFJ, although I can't confirm because we don't communicate anymore. One more interesting thing is that we felt some kind of unexplainable envy for each other's personalities, and I'm not gonna lie, I still envy INFP-s a little.

[@era1442]

The envy thing with INTPxINFP, I find that to be really true. I guess it's because our hero/demon functions are switched, and so we have different fears or insecurities with our inferior functions. I've had a few INTP friends, some closer than others. Sometimes it feels like they probably think I'm stupid, because of how they analyse what I say with Ti, and I'm not as precise in my words sometimes as INTPs tend to be. I'm usually trying to trying to convey a bigger picture a message through a metaphor. Since Ne+Te is like a wide network of things that are connected, unlike Ti+Si, which is like a microscope to look at facts, we may find some communication roadblocks. Anyway, I really like INTPs, because I find them to have a similar appearance to mine (Ne 2nd, Si 3rd), being an INFP myself, and how they are up to exploring ideas and talk about things in depth. And I admire their strive for accuracy, although sometimes it can trigger my inferior (and INTPs aren't exactly the most subtle speakers, because of how low their Fe is), but they still express what they think as truth, which I do respect.

[@glassflowerjoy6693]

Hope you get better soon mentally. Better health. I appreciate your critical thinking. Too bad i sense how broken you are now. (Infp)

[@tlttrtz]

I see many great points but was disappointed that everything was framed through "power". I mean, this might be an important element, but it's not ALL. For ex, Rule #1: factor in your INFP; ask how they feel and consider their opinions. Totally true; that is crucial! But more like "I want to be heard and seen by the person I love", rather than "I want to control them". I also really liked the point about taking concrete actions to demonstrate your affection. The rest of the rules though, seemed more like (valid) mentoring tips rather than love tips. As for loving INFPs, I'd recommend clearly stating your expectations (it's SO stressful/confusing not knowing my role), giving them lots of alone time to recharge, being consistent, non-judgmental, a good listener, playful & fun, give positive reinforcement, and have initiative. And in general, it's always good to discover your partner's love language (acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts, physical touch, sex, etc)

[@zahrazar9974]

Rule number 6 almost made me cry. I have used many of your advices over the years, which is why good things have happened in my life. In fact, it made me love those who take me out of my comfort zone, and even easier to get out of it by myself. It was hard to admit about power. But if I am honest with myself, I'm really seeking it. Thank you for this amazing lecture.

[@ahajer7015]

I’ve watched this episode 3 times so far. I’m sure I’ll watch it many more times. The irony is my Si child was waiting for the complete opposite of this! You know the main problem is, it is so hard for the infp to be honest even with themselves and say I want power, as they believe it is the opposite of being a ‘good’ person. I don’t believe I would have listened to all what was shared here if I wasn’t in this stage of maturity. We’ve been exposed Infps, we want the world to listen to us, and obtaining power and influence is our only way. We know what we can bring to the table is valuable, it is killing us when we are keeping it all inside. Thank you chase, I’ve learned the hard way to look for someone trustworthy and respectable to criticize me and teach me as I know how much life can get better when I face my shadows. You’re one of the few people who provide real wisdom and value out there.

[@pilarrose4582]

As an infp i can agree to that I display many insecurities of the type. I do seek power over myself and life because of past wounds. However, I never seek power over others because I empathize those who are oppressed. Additionally I do worry to much about what others think but it's not the main reason I don't impose on others.

[@dxfifa]

INFPs need to enter defined relationship roles where they have predicted the outcome and have control. This can mean being simped for by someone they barely like, or being used sexually is preferable to their actual long term goal of a loving relationship. I'll give an example. An INFP woman may want a fulfilling relationship whether long or short term where she feels understood and respected. However she continues to sleep with men who made it clear day one they were after one thing, even though she feels like she deserves better. She also friendzones men very firmly who aren't in it for one thing, that she likes. Why? Because she can predict what will happen and predictability is more important to her Si child than happiness. If she meets a partner who is caring and connected, while being seductive and has a sexual relationship, her emotions and fantasy mind will go wild, BUT she has no idea what the power dynamic or pathway will be and that is so scary. She wants to read the terms and conditions of the relationship first and sign up to something she knows. I think they all do this but the immature and toxic INFPs are so lonely they will sign anything as long as they can see the terms in front of their eyes. As an INTP we are very similar with Negative Parent Ne and Child Si in terms of this particular thing

[@DizzyLuv0]

The criticizing part is spot on... I admit I can be wrongly entitled with my convictions, just for the sake of not being paranoid about what others think and find comfort in believing in myself... but when you're wrong you need someone to show you, sometimes I can be blindly entitled, selfish, self centered... is not until people shape my focus and make me understand how I'm coming of that I realize... It takes the right words and a certain "click" in my mind to understand where people are coming from, if its just plain critique I'm gonna be like "yeah there's so many ways I could be wrong in other people's eyes" I need to know what people mean, why they mean it and how it relates to me and my own morals... Because I think a part of INFPs is already used to or expectant of being misunderstood, dismissed, or even discriminated Its easy to victimize ourselves I think, and rightfully so because we're somehow aware of everyone having opinions from one extreme to another without a certain standard... and thats dangerous, and contradicting... if I'm seen by this person as the best of the best, and by this other person as the worst, what kind of sense can you make out of that? That's the experience of a inf Te user, we need a standard sometimes I've been accepting of critiques that weren't true and just clashed with my values, and were unhealthy for me, being what everyone thinks of you is a big fear because I know everyones opinion is not valuable or right and can be detrimental for me and other people as individuals... That's why I need to relate to the critique and when you have a perception of yourself that others don't its hard to guess well who's right? Me, that I know myself? Or you that are aware of things that I might not be noticing? Critique seems like a attempt to just lose myself, my peace, my balance in a way, for what I already mentioned before, I will not be open about everyone's perception of me and everyone's opinion of me... that's where I relate towards the power and authority part, I want to share my true views the true parts of myself over other's extreme contradicting points... At the same time I do want someone I can rely on... I can love, I can admire, someone better than me where I lack... someone that I can humble myself and give my trust, someone I can empower without having to worry Genuine critique or advice towards my being is what I value, but just pushing what you think about me ain't gonna work, it comes off as trivial to me... well not really trivial because I also get offended at the same time lol... Hope it makes sense

[@sanjavukanic5898]

It's really challenging to continue seeing the core of the INFP. They are full of masks. Luckily, if you know who you felt in love with, it will be okay, even when you feel like you know that person on the other side. :) Me, as an ENTP woman, am developing the patience a lot. And often asking myself who's crazy here? Somehow, I felt all of these rules during the relationship, but I couldn't name them. But that inner power, authority, and masculine energy, beside big heart and creativity, are something that attracted me. :) Message to INFPs: Love yourselves, trust yourselves. Your are bigger than you think you are.

[@alisonfisher1877]

I grew up with a strict and domineering mother who didn’t allow me much privacy and held me responsible for her frequent negative moods. I was most affected and hurt by the overt disrespect, dismissiveness, and being berated all the time for the projected or assumed bad attitude I was accused of having. The older I became the more I rebelled and so eventually I was sent out of state to military school, NMMI. So now under more control and more authority, I found myself thriving and I was able to prove to myself I could be successful if allowed the independence I desired. I was fed and clothed and all that of course, but at last my mood and general emotional state were my own to manage and I wasn’t saddled with anyone else’s to worry about. Since then I’ve had a high sensitivity to unwanted authority and the enforcement of rules in a game you’re never told about and participation isn’t optional. This is most likely why I was/am big into the punk scene and strongly believe in anarchy (not in any destructive sense- that’s not even what it means- but for myself, others can choose how to be/not be governed for themselves). Plus imagining my entitled-swelled-head and inevitable corruption that having sway over another’s fate would give me- makes me cringe. I try to be cognizant of relational power struggles. I’m always comparing my interpretations and observations of the meta-scaled reality with the esoteric personal reality experience (worldview vs daily life and social interactions) to make sure my values and behavior are consistent and in alignment. I will readily admit I am extremely flattered when my opinions are sought and I can come off like a know-it-all regarding the subjects I research when I get the impression that someone is only interested in laying traps or doubts me rather than challenging me. I need a partner willing to keep me sharp and soon lose respect for anyone that merely capitulates. My philosophy has evolved into the basic idea that the most powerful and beneficial influence one should work to obtain is to be an example of what is right and demonstrate how it is possible without interfering or taking away anyone’s agency. Or at least do your best everyday. So with that being said… Sorry for the predictable INFP novel of contextual prefacing, but I would love some feedback from anyone willing to give it…. I’m aware power and positional awareness is always floating around in my mind and so make a conscious effort to not let it drive my interpersonal decisions and relationships, but I don’t really know how successful I am keeping it at bay. Should I even be doing this at all? I like that It makes me feel like a good person and that I am able to recognize the desire as a part of myself but I don’t want to fall into blind arrogance or get blindsided by realizing I’m sub/un/consciously being manipulative or something… I am preparing myself for no replies or getting roasted, and I will be admittedly kind of sad about that. But this is probably the best place to ask this sort of thing so what the hell…. Thanks for reading through, Cheers C.S., and Everybody.

[@durntortoise8445]

As much as it's ingrained in all of us, I'm gonna suggest you remove the good or bad adjective from people. Leave good or bad as a descriptive word for actions to avoid minimizing yourself and others. It should just feel good to be a person doing your best at whatever you're gonna do. If you're afraid of becoming arrogant then try being kind and doing good as an ordinary part of your behaviour, like drinking water or sleeping. Do this consciously. It doesn't make you better or worse than anyone; you just do what feels good for you while being aware of the cost. In the beginning of your comment you explained how your perception of authority changed once you were able to be responsible for yourself (not your mother's issues). You changed your perceptions and shifted your thoughts and emotions to improve your experience. So it stands that you can dispel the fear/worry just the same. Hope this helps. Agape. Peace.

[@kmimsatl]

Sheesh lou-eesh! Our thoughts and experiences are very similar. The only thing I wouldn't have written about was going to a military school and that's simply because it didn't happen on my end! I do believe I should be able to have the most control/authority over my own life, however, I have absolutely no desire to hold any power over other peoples lives.

[@alisonfisher1877]

@@durntortoise8445 Hi, thanks for pointing out that identifying people through the good/bad lens probably isn’t helpful. I’m in agreement with everything you said and that’s pretty much how I operate. I could’ve articulated it better but think I can now after having read your reply. So thank you for taking the time to read and respond to my post, it does help ☺️.

[@alisonfisher1877]

@@kmimsatl I know right? Being offered power in an overt sense or a position that is directly authoritarian will make me run for the hills…. But I think Chase is on to something here. I think we’re capable of seeking power within our close relationships in subtle and indirect ways, be it consciously or not. I also know that if power over someone is achieved, especially easily achieved, then I will quickly lose interest and respect and I will move on. I don’t play these sort of games anymore, but from time to time I do recognize a good gut-check is in order to make sure I’m not doing anything or motivated by reasons that would make me feel petty or disingenuous. Getting really settled in and comfortable with what my personal standards are and being consistent about them is in itself empowering, but only as long as I can turn that filter back onto myself to consider it and then go, “ok yeah, all good here.” Cheers and thanks for the response INFP internet friend 😊.

[@durntortoise8445]

@@alisonfisher1877 Happy to be of some help. I've found that as long as we remember that our feelings answer to us, and not the opposite, INFPs can become nigh unstoppable, lol. Emotions are the seasoning of life; season wisely.

[@baharmoadeli586]

every time I get so excited for infp the episodes but after watching them I just end up feeling confused and exposed. and thank you csj that for making us infps feel that way every time.

[@faezix2124]

Belakhare drim Irani mibinim to in channel. Welcome. Chi shod in channelo peyda krdi?

[@zahrazar9974]

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[@faezix2124]

@@zahrazar9974 eh mnm tarafaye hamun moghe peyda krdm. fk mikrdm mn avalin irani iy am k in channelo peyda krdm. Bavaret beshe ya na vali mn alan drm barash kar mikonm :). udja moshkeli peyda krdin b khodm begin drstesh mikonm.

[@zahrazar9974]

@@faezix2124 ba barname nevisi? eyval! chera bavar nakonam. too discord hasti?

[@baharmoadeli586]

@@faezix2124 mersii vali ye sal o nim mishe ke peida kardam inja ro fekr konam donbale mani e function ha budam ke yeki az video haye csj ro didam va az un moghe concept e jungian psychology kheili vasam jaleb tar shode!

[@martirighez]

Thank you SO much for this video. I’m a 17-year-old INFP and I am sure your words will be really helpful for a better understanding of my true self. I’m so confused about my whole personality and also about how to treat people that care for me as they truly deserve, but your video is pretty enlightening and I think it has gifted me with a new and more honest vision of my life…thank you Chase💖

[@pietromarconi]

I confirm everything. I am her sugar daddy.

[@pietromarconi]

Sugar bubbi

[@pietromarconi]

I am not lying , we had sex like 1 week ago

[@pietromarconi]

I love you martha

[@NourTheDreamer]

STAY IN SCHOOL

[@durntortoise8445]

Hmm. I had to think on the power thing for a while. In fact, the reason I started watching your content years ago was because I wanted the ability to change the circumstances of my life and gain control of my incredibly pessimistic, shadow-focused mind as it was damaging to my health and my relationships. That is to say, you're spot on about the motivation towards personal power. I very much agree that an INFP should be caring. 1. Because it's already a natural inclination. 2. Because caring develops rapport, trust, and influence with others. 3. Because it feels good. 4. Because it gives you the experience to know where/where not to place your sympathy. Thinking pragmatically, I only tend to want things that are either useful or valuable to me. This allows me to avoid wastefulness and maximize gratefulness. It's easy to want things, but it feels better knowing you'll use the thing(s). I find this habit extremely useful. Se friends are invaluable for observing how to perform better/more efficiently. Now I can read reactions and ask for feedback to improve myself where I would like to. This is another excuse to create gratefulness. It was a long time coming, but I really enjoyed this lecture. There were a lot of useful tidbits that i have personally practiced and found helpful. Keep it up. Agape. Peace.

[@gargimajumder6703]

I lowkey started questioning my own morals and character when I was a teen upon realizing how obsessed I was with power, status and reputation. I felt like I was shallow and fake, and kinda rebelled against myself. Fell into an identity crisis and depression that I am still not completely out of. So thanks for understanding. I am always thankful to u. I was somehow saved when I came across ur channel back in 2019, cuz atlast I felt somehow understood. I am sure a lot of other people feel the same. I have gained a lot of knowledge and came across robert greene's work(that helped me with my self doubts) and it's all thanks to u. I don't think loving infps is so much so about power but I can see how it can be in the initial stages. We want to be understood. So thanks for understanding. I am eternally grateful.

[@nethercords]

i would like to add that the more ignorant infps are of their true nature the more inauthentic their lifestyle and more toxic their internal world becomes, and the road is put right by the collective unconscious via archetypal images of power and an invitation to step into the role of the hero. the hero by definition commands power and authority.

[@Userykp]

8:25 🙄 i like ur views on infps but this is more like a personal rant on an infp person u couldn't have or broke 💔 up with.

[@rayanrafea5869]

I've never knew that I have that deep need for power and influence. Thanks for bringing that shadow side to the conscious level.

[@mandalovescatspandas1781]

Haha yeah, kinda makes sense doesn't it? I'm always learning, or becoming aware, of things about myself when I visit CS Joseph's lectures

[@truenemesisprime550]

I would say my number 1 concern is FREEDOM but he's not wrong, that's probably why I (INFP man) got into BDSM because it helps me to find the women that are naturally INTO submission, and therefore it's a WIN/WIN and my life purpose has become a story trilogy I'm writing about the time in the future when the power of love finally overcomes the love of power and the main character is an INFP female called Honor that pieces together the truth and brings wisdom to the world by the end lol. This guy knows me without knowing me. Love it so much, he helps me "KNOW THYSELF" and my main character :D

[@valerieflores3067]

Woah I wanna read that story!

[@truenemesisprime550]

@@valerieflores3067 Thank you princess ;)

[@hyperashitive3217]

I hate to admit this but yes, INFPs do feel like they need some kind of bargaining power in order to feel safe in the relationship. I know that I don't really like to stay in situations where I feel like the relationship dynamics are on shaky ground or if I feel that someone could walk away from me easily. The relationship that had lasted the longest was with an ISTP who I felt was not on my level as far as physical attractiveness and I knew he wouldn't leave me because I was the best that he was going to get and that made me feel comfortable. That's probably messed up but it's true...

[@ahabalheis2478]

Thats really fucked up

[@calture5086]

It's f'd up, yes although I appreciate the insight provided through your comment.

[@purplemysterygirl]

Im observing that you sound really bitter and like a divorced guy who was formerly married to an INFP and working through the pain. It’s good therapy for you but in the process you may be spreading INFP hate bro. May lots of love surround you whole being and heal all the pain of past INFP relationships. ❤

[@CSJoseph]

You are quite judgmental for someone who is too lazy to ask questions

[@purplemysterygirl]

Go deep down into your being and breathe love into all the pain that was handed to you by an INFP. ❤

[@CSJoseph]

I have never been with an INFP woman. Nor will I be. You really suck at making your case.

[@purplemysterygirl]

Embrace your inner INFP ❤

[@TheGlowingqueen]

​@@CSJoseph You really do sound mean for some reason.

[@socratesandstorybooks1109]

I never thought of it as a desire for power. But your right we dont neccesarily want to control every detail of your actions. But we want to be consulted and heard.

[@greenchair_]

I'm wondering now how INTJ's handle this power thing considering they are supposed to have the most trust with INFP's. Also wondering how many people are LESS interested in dating INFP's after this video lol.

[@icingcake]

Trust?!? After the treachery bit - hell no

[@commando0110]

"bleagh" - wise man in the wilderness

[@RaffertyMBTI]

Funnily enough I found the video on 8 Rules for Loving my type was more useful and meaningful for me that the other types, but they were bloody useful, too!

[@denissesantillan6218]

When I was a wee 19 year old virgin INFP there was an ESTP i placed in the friend-zone for as long as I could. He made his friends respect me and all that. I did like that. 😏 I had this man friend zoned for 2 years, I actually guilted myself about my inability to let him in emotionally and physically. Let’s all laugh together 😂 He would be with a diff girl every weekend, yet for whatever reason, I would torture myself and still play hot and cold with him. That went nowhere of course, but I just wanted to say that, leverage (power) in the form of withholding physical intimacy will never work in an INFP’s favor dealing with an ESTP 😂 I guess Si doesn’t forget their first kindergarten heartbreak. 😂

[@Userykp]

8:55 power and authority on what 🤔 our lives or others. I feel it's my life because I want privacy and freedom. But if you think we want it to rule on others it's wrong.

[@sweetbeep]

He said that is part of it. Maybe it's only for some of them?

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

I’m not sold on the idea of INFP wanting power. Reality is I just don’t want to be dismissed and I just want to be given the grace to be authentic just like everyone else gets the grace to be themselves.

[@hsulinnnwe3551]

​yes!@@Sarah-with-an-H

[@lunace2]

Hilarious generalisation saying most infp men are visually ugly 😂 ouch

[@Bluz1]

But it's true. You can't be a sloth and attractive. Only those INFPs that can put the sloth on a leash will be attractive.

[@4biddenflow]

This is also 8 Rules for INFP loving themselves

[@nethercords]

"estps, enfjs, entjs are okay with it" they actually embrace and condone authority and power. its the only attribute with the quality and potential to get things done.

[@HazLight4426]

Thank you Chase for this one! It wasn't what I expected but it was hella accurate. A lot of mindsets that I had/have, now I understand the 'why' of them. It'll take a little time to fully process everything, but I can tell you that it will help me be better. So thank you so much again🙏🏻

[@pamelakasper7627]

Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I feel a bit of resistance and slightly ass hurt but its because it resonates with me on a deep level. I am always having to inrtospect and then I have 9/10 times had to admit to myself that you called it. The stuff I was unaware of consciously, plagued by subconsciously, is finally articulated by someone. Thank you. An infp. And an aries. And an enneagram 9. If those matter.

[@bas019]

Insanely insightful man! I deeply appreciate your passion. I hope I will be able to manifest my dreams one day and not get stuck in sloth.

[@fabiolater227]

I openly admit my need for power and how I resist it.

[@bostondominican4804]

I’m disappointed as well, we are humans what happened to the nurture and real relationships tools ?? Not the authority bullshit.. I can’t recommend this video to my bf because it’s all same rule pile in one…we got the the worst video in this season.. I was hoping something that I can really show my bf and really help him LOVE ME… not this..😞

[@CSJoseph]

How sure you are an INFP?

[@stelarfoil71]

As an INFP, I can't tell if this is a rant against the personality type or advice for them. 😅

[@NourTheDreamer]

Tough love

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

@Pray ForMe right I just want to be not discounted and to be allowed the same grace to be myself that I see other people get. That’s not power at all

[@randomcole619]

It’s things like this that make me question my type, maybe I’m just more self aware… I’ve been in my profession for 16 years, I had people ask why I didn’t step up into different positions, mind you, this would be in my early twenties, I told them that power corrupts and that if I had power I might abuse it, I might give moves to people I didn’t like to mess with them… now, I fully believe in fairness, I don’t like favoritism and I don’t know if I would’ve abused my power but I knew the possibly was there… on dating, I only dated because I felt like I was supposed to, only had sex because I was left out of ‘adult’ conversations, I can’t imagine using my partner to better myself, that seems soo manipulative. But, I have to admit, I would be Ōkā with being a dictator for one year, just to ‘clean’ things up, and promptly step down… I am a libertarian but at this point, I don’t think anyone can believe that elections are legit, and they’ve dumbed down society soo much that I think a firm hand is needed to right this mess… and I’m wholly against anything that infringes on our god given rights…

[@rivkahminazadeh8275]

Anybody else feel like hes more alarmed for the INFPs out there than the INFPs are, lol

[@rivkahminazadeh8275]

I mean, dont get me wrong the bit about hard work is absolutely genius. I didnt see significant changes in my life until I adopted a navy seal mentality, but the but about “power” reads more like control, and if you’re an INFP whose as power hungry as we are, that can get exhausting and drive itself to the ground. So the solution is one thing really important that I think theres value in recognizing too- our lean toward a “mystical” nature. Belief in a higher power is the Only place that I’ve found could show me the real “power” of surrender and unconditional love. Thats granted therapy and healed/seen trauma and youre not looking at gd thru a corrupted lenses. This is where the infp excels and uses their wisdom, and its a dance that also can be mastered in masc/fem work learning when and how to be proactive (figure out what your N wants from you) and when to relax (99% of the time for us) Yay!

[@lightgrey5365]

Infj friend, I loved him very much, but he criticised me for literally picking slugs and putting them out of the roadside. Wtf what's wrong with it

[@TaktischerSchachzug_]

Thank you Chase. You helped me a lot. Can't imagine how often people accuse you of being a bad person or something like that. My Fi Hero says you are absolutely doing the right thing

[@kssgpv]

you are probably a guy , so you don't have problem when he spits out his sexistic point of views.

[@icecoldoperator]

@@kssgpv well that statement itself is literally sexist af

[@TheGlowingqueen]

​@@icecoldoperatorNot

[@ginarw11]

Wow, at first I was getting a bit upset with you and your analysis. I'm not about power, I don't need power. I'd be a terrible politician, lawyer, and such. Just wouldn't happen. But then when you were talking about the INFP need to have authority in their life and to have input in decisions, etc, and how we can lack power/control in the outside world so we need it in our internal/home world, it clicked. Yes, you speak the truth. I am the one who is in charge of our finances, and that is important to me. My husband is the spender in the family and I am the saver. I came from a lower middle income family and one time we was even on food stamps. So financial security was always very important to me. I went to work as soon as I could as a teen and joined the Air Force after high school. But I didn't have career ambitions. I really just wanted to marry (I was a romantic of course) and have some kids (who I homeschooled - more control and authority, I suppose, so I could ensure my values were instilled in them. They all turned out very well). Yes, I wanted to marry someone who could provide for me and my future kids, so I could have that financial security and also be able to pursue what was important to me, like going back to school myself and getting a degree (because we know INFPs value the authority a degree gives, lol, plus I do love to learn. No surprise it was a psychology degree, an associates). Early on in our marriage we fought a lot about finances and other things. Obviously we each wanted to have our own way. But sticking just with the finance issue, he wanted to spend money while I wanted to save and pay off debt. So we eventually compromised. I'm in control of the bank account because I'm the one at home now paying the bills, grocery shopping, etc. Plus he really had no interest in doing it at all. It just frustrates him. He just wants money for his "enthusiasms" as he calls them. He's a collector. We compromised by him getting an allowance based on a base income and then when he worked overtime, traveled, got bonuses or whatever, we would split the excess. He'd buy stuff and I paid off our credit cards, cars, and eventually house. Now we are debt free and have been for several years now. He's still buying stuff and I'm saving for our retirement. Long story short, I did need and fought for power in our relationship to ensure I and my family had the financial security to live in this uncertain world (Ne pessimism). We're still married after 33 years because he allowed me that power (as well as working out our many other differences and issues...and I give God credit as well)! I could comment on all the other points you made but this is too long already. I could give examples from my life for each point you made. And THANK YOU for these tips. I'm 54 years old and especially in my second half of life am on a quest for growth. I do struggle with sloth now that I'm retired. I just want to chill and do whatever I want, but then I also have dreams of writing a novel, of continuing with school, or being a life coach. But just like you said, I struggle with the motivation and follow through. I never think I'm good enough or know enough. I can also be very ADD about it all and just want to fall back into being lazy. Basically, just taking in all the information but not really doing anything with it. When I make myself have outside commitments (like taking university classes and being accountable to an instructor), it goes a long way in keeping me going. When I'm committed to people, I'll follow through. I am currently doing ministry work for my church on a volunteer bases. I created and lead our Welcome ministry and Care ministry. It fits into what you said, as well, in that I always want to care about others (besides my family which I'm wholly devoted to) by loving on them (WANTING to Fe) but I would just end up forgetting, focusing instead on myself or my own family. Now, I have a built in time and ministry that I can devote to others. It blesses me to bless them! I love it! Anyway, I could go on and on. Sorry, I think I'm just rambling now, lol! Wow, if you, C.S. Joseph or anyone actually reads this all the way through, cyber hugs to you! :D

[@pinklasagna8328]

I thought i was not powerhungry for a long time until i realized i am in a tug of war with my family for authority.

[@christinehallfeldt4280]

I am an infp and i can be uncaring and not care what people think and see people as just one of the masses. This tends to be when i have conflicy with someone close to me and then my humanity per se tends to flick off and instead of caring and loving i become dark and negative. True as. But every personality type has a dark side. I am learning to not dwell too long in this state and read as much as i can and force myself to talk to people and overcome my very very long list of fears. 😊

[@mansmans7734]

This was deeply insightful to me. Thank you so much!

[@pinklasagna8328]

I feel exposed. The first thing that goes in my mind when i wake up is "why this shit again"

[@oliviathatcher1459]

So true about Rule 8. I’m an INFP and I have no interest in hearing the feedback and opinions of anyone unless they are informed and knowledgeable.

[@cliffordcarey3997]

Im an INFP i grew up as the middle child i was the invisible one never could figure out why i was different from everyone else. I try to be myself but when i did i was bullied and called names so i started wearing mask i never let people know how I felt so i faked it all through life where people thought they knew me but no one had a clue. I found a out lett of my feelings and emotions that I had no way of expressing them that i didnt even know how to explain how i felt at 13 i started to play guitar and it was something that I could do instead of being around anyone im 49 and im still doing it its the only thing I ever started and never quit. I begged my parents to buy me an electric guitar they didn't want to spend the money on it because they thought I would give up on it like i did everything else because no one every believed in me to do anything. Im glad i didn't give up on it its saved my life many time plus it gave me influence over overs to want to learn guitar also. I also joined the Navy to get some authority in my life and the military will help you with that goal i had to waer my mask for years people ive known for years thought they knew me but didn't have no clue i only showed them 50% of me the other 50% fake and i hate being fake i betrayed myself for some authority i wanted it so bad to have power that i have faked most of my life im a mother fucker for doing it i hate myself but i got sick of being overlooked and people not listening to what I had to say so i went to a job where they had no choice but to listen. I was hard on everyone under me but i was even harder with myself. I still ask myself why.

[@Korany]

He roasting the hell out of me as an INFP but it’s accurate 😂🤡💀

[@Zainab-wg7nj]

You've done your homework for sure. Each rule and some points make complete sense, especially, the one on authority. Mostly on point. I just have to mention a few things (can't help it): 1. INFP women are not so much of a wallflower like INFP men. In fact, INFP women can be pretty desirable even with Se trickster. 2. Not sure about INFP men, but with INFP women, respectful persistence is the key. But there's a difference between being pushy and being persistent. Many men find it hard to tell the difference. Also, you're funny.

[@airr2576]

(INFP) While I get a lot out of CS Joseph and appreciate his combination of respect, harshness, and honesty towards INFPs it’s clear he’s letting personal bias cloud his analysis of them. Of course INFPs want to change their circumstances on a whim but that is not a power seeking behavior. That is called seeking freedom. Seeking personal freedom is far different than seeking to control people through the power. His analysis is also contradictory. He’s saying INFPs are lazy, affiliative, wallflowers but their central goal in life is to acquire power? Sure that makes sense (eye roll).

[@CSJoseph]

They do it through power, but that’s okay

[@oo-xt4gv]

my infp's whho among you have hurt this man. do better. he's exposing us

[@donna_tran]

I’m an INFP woman in the midst of separation from my INFP husband so the timing of this video couldn’t have been better.. I agree with each and every rule and I am excited to abide by them for myself as I venture out into this journey of being on my own, finding my career, not getting devoured by my own cynical mind and feelings of self-defeat before I could even give myself a chance to start (not necessarily laziness but it’s an easier word choice)! I hope I survive since little things like going to the gym alone or figuring out the mechanisms of a pump to a new shampoo bottle, or even unscrewing the top of a pill bottle can be challenging to me 😅😅🤣 yes I want authoritative power, perhaps something to do with my MFA degree, working as a professor but I think I need some physical power too so I can open that damn pill bottle myself every morning 😩 And it’s true, my husband and I don’t have sex. I feel that we are both withholding. Two INFPS withholding sex because we are both not giving each what we want in this relationship for years now. Maybe we can’t take each other’s criticisms anymore? It is awful to walk around the world as an invisible being where no one is listening to your voice (I’ll get there soon enough when I get my credentials and my career) but then to return home and lay in bed like a log feels like an insult too. I’m sure he has his reasons as well. Your lessons on the sides of the mind and cognitive functions are saving my life, maybe now more than ever, I made a strange decision marrying another INFP but I guess you could say I got lots of extra awareness on INFP blindspots and depravity 🤭🙄 time to go restore this soul now.. with the help of this insight of course. I bought Robert Greene’s book on power to give myself a bit of homework ❤️ this is my favorite bit you did on infps ❤️ Thank you very much for the content!

[@Dickens19567xk]

I would watch four hours of Chase breaking down ‘The 48 Laws of Power” as a lower Te manifesto lol. The way it is filtered through Fi was mind blowing to me. It is so different from everything else regarding power I’ve read and that always felt ‘meh’ in terms of ticking my Fi box. (The Art of War, How to Win Friends and Influence People etc…)they’re great but there’s something missing that I found in The 48 laws. I’m sure Chase can articulate it, it would be so interesting!

[@seancallahan7426]

So much of this resonates deeply. The sloth by default and talk is cheap as well as the constantly doubting myself and my partners feelings. I don't want to be like this, its exhausting. What happened? Are INFPs born or made? I hate being cynical and paranoid. It's self isolating and doesn't serve the best version of me that I know is hiding deep inside somewhere. The truth hurts sometimes and this is one of those times. I appreciate the tough love.

[@returnoftheromans6726]

I have wondered about this question as well. I think it is a bit of both, because we have to be born to be impressionable to people's feelings. Once we are full of other people's feelings, once we get older, then we become more self conscious and worry more about our feelings, lust for power, etc.

[@orangejuice7351]

I am here to learn how to love myself) Edit: by the way one of convictions I live by is - if anyone has power over me, they are going to overuse it and humiliate me without second thought. So I try to not let anyone get any sort of power over me.

[@zeroinblack7317]

As an infp you must be focused on helping improve other people's lives if you dont you will be corrupted and will have nothing to live for.

[@fitra99]

I don't get this. I disagree with the idea of wanting power and authority as the main goal. For me, ultimately, it's important for me to see cohesion and an environment where everyone is functioning to their best potential (ideally).

[@aladdout9454]

i cannot stop cringing at ppl who say "my partner is my dual type" especially infj chicks for some reason consistently mistype their guys as estp which cud be any xxtp tbh. In the few cases they are estps, the chick turns out to be an enfp or isfj.

[@micahzeitlin9278]

"don't ever criticize them" *My ISTP/Templar/Ti Hero self getting really annoyed*

[@lanalvr2413]

Ok

[@aladdout9454]

u can still criticize just dont use unnecessary insults or make it a public thing. Instead earn their trust and advice them.

[@aladdout9454]

@@lanalvr2413 lol

[@CSJoseph]

Be graceful

[@sashapantaleon9089]

Same thing from an INTP

[@yoyianime2679]

Everyone got variety in their rules we got one big pile of power bs ??👎🏾 nothing that can really show how to love us..

[@choco1199]

Yeah wtf?🫠

[@genoblast5543]

This explains so much why I'm so interested in politics. I even started working with a local politician this month and joined a local political party, specially because I see the possibility of achieving a high status position (Senator or Governor) in a couple years from now.

[@jasminegalarza2178]

As a currently hurt infp woman struggling with being unseen and unheard and invalidated by everyone everywhere my entire life is now with someone who questions my intentions making me question my integrity and is incapable of accountability for his lack of acknowledgment blames it all on me for now showing enough affection in the beginning but also knowing my abandonment issues along with many trauma...im just happy to hear I'm not insane for wanting these things

[@CSJoseph]

You are insane for wanting these things if you do not show a man gratitude and appreciation 100% of the time

[@TheGlowingqueen]

​@CSJoseph wow, you can come across so mean.

[@LittleLamperouge]

23 minutes in and fuck me I feel EVISCERATED 😂😂😂

[@yasmeenabdulaziz4490]

Lol I was like don't say the infj is okay with it

[@chrisburney9486]

PRIDE is their deadly sin in their pursuit of power. Sloth is second.

[@JR-ow8xg]

Somehow I do like INFPs because of such golden contributions they do to my ego but at the same time there is this insane feeling of distrust when I am around them. Personally, I can’t say the truth to them without them making me feel like I offended them, even if I did it subtly. It’s too much for me to even imagine being with someone that will not take my word or dismiss it just because a lot of people does not agree with it. Sometimes people just don’t agree with the truth because of how much it hurts. This is just a bias opinion of my interactions with INFPs of course. Thanks for this lecture, I will provide it to any INFP I come into contact with :)

[@Heanesy]

Yes! Exactly the same feelings I have after interacting with infp's! It is terrible how any word spoken in a completely neutral tone can suddenly turn into a prejudiced insult. Seriously? I would never have known in my life that I could be such a nasty person if it weren't for the infp trying to "make me aware" of it-It is sick how many prejudices they seek in others while being blind to their own. It sounds like a projection. INFP's can be funny, lovely, and supportive, but when it comes to their ability to demonize a person just by their own standards, they are second to none. They don't even realize how toxic they can be-the feelings of others are only important when they think they deserve it. My Fe inferior after meeting with such an infp can feel really horrible. I love to fool around with them, but when it comes to serious conversations, I avoid it like fire-I'll rarely meet an infp capable of accepting other opinions. I used to get into discussions with them, but now I consider it a waste of time and a lack of respect for my own well-being.

[@victoriamarfina9819]

Oh when I was young I got hurt when my ITPs would do that 😅. But that's because INFPs are so used to people shitting on their opinions and believes that they get too paranoid. You can actually prevent that Fi outburst by pushing a sweet talk pill right away. Like, "please don't think I wanted to make you feel bad by crushing this "truth" on you, I just want you to understand it, so I am doing it for you blablabla sweet talk".

[@Heanesy]

@@victoriamarfina9819 I could do that, but I'm not in the habit of humiliating myself by restrictively reorganizing my thoughts to someone's own standards, which first judge me to be a bad person-and then I'm supposed to be the one trying not to violate the other person's boundaries when they themselves are exempt from it? It's not that I don't have the baggage of negative experiences. Do you think Ti hero has it easy? People mostly like it in theory, but in practice they avoid or demonize-in my experience. I understand what you mean, but I wouldn't be able to comply with it on someone's terms. I myself try to approach each new person neutrally, treating each one individually, and not identifying them in advance with groups of people whom I perceive negatively.

[@victoriamarfina9819]

@@Heanesy I got you. Your way of dealing with it is probably more healthy. I am just showing how you could both push your point and not get INFPs triggered if they do. It's interesting that you see Fe and sweet talk as humiliation. I mean, I do a lot of sweet talk, and I consider as a way to show kindness and that you care.

[@Heanesy]

@@victoriamarfina9819 I only find it humiliating when it's forced upon me. I don't perceive Fe negatively; on the contrary, I value very much the part in me that is sensitive to other people and cares about them-through kind words, deeds, or joint interaction through the exchange of emotions. This is something that is very difficult for me in reality, but it also gives me a lot of satisfaction; it is also attractive how much it pulls behind it a certain danger (it's easy to hurt Fe inferior). In fact, I'm a pretty agreeable person, but when my boundaries are pushed on someone's terms beyond what I can tolerate, the situation reverses-I won't be under someone else's pressure to regulate my behavior beyond being honest with myself. Sure, you're right about the method of approaching infp's by changing your attitude-it will probably work. However, I would not choose this as a method for myself.

[@fikretdemir4818]

Be harsh to thieves regardless of their types. Show them you value your stuff (even trivalities) more than existence of thieves. If you cannot neutralize them; mock, shame, delegitimize them so they cannot act as righteous. Show them everyone is rightful author only for his life/body/work/property.

[@michaelmadness2527]

Short term pain leads to long term power

[@rawan2709]

you are literally one of the very very few on KZbin that truly understand INFPs specifically and mbti in general and aren't afraid to tell things as they are continue making great videos ❤️

[@nourelhouda2628]

Basically we're crazy ppl 💙

[@fificore]

That's what I was thinking! 😅

[@Thilosophocl3s]

"Infjs, stop being hypocrites and learn to tell people the hard truth, unless you're lucky enough to be with an infp, in which case be nice because your infp will shut down"

[@Aetherius21]

I have to say that, I don't think you're a bad person and I do genuinely think you're trying to preach what you believe is good for the benefit of the rest of humanity, but you have lost yourself in your quest to rationalise away the basic humanity that lies in the values of love, compassion and justice that keep unite people free of hedonistic, self-interested social contracts. Once one has given himself to this lowering of the human experience to basic cognitive desires and not to a quest to attain something greater, one has not only lost their humanity and become inhuman but also the grip on reality and become completely enstranged from the truth. Best wishes, a critical INFP viewer.

[@CSJoseph]

I disagree, you haven’t watched enough of my content to make this judgment

[@MrMacBig273]

Hi J. Not really related to this video specifically, but just wanted to thank you. This past months I've been struggling with my first 'love' (40 y.o intp xD) and you helped me a lot. I kind of already knew already most of what you said, but you allowed me to put words and concepts on it. You're doing a very good job explaining :)

[@tinayip1220]

My bf really loves your intro 😂 we are the forbidden, doomed INFP/ESTJ couple that socionics idolizes. Thanks for making me smile and feel so understood, and validated 🤣 😬 wish us well!!!

[@amytiffanyhemingway]

I’m infp with estj boyfriend. Why is it doomed?

[@agot7fan855]

@@amytiffanyhemingway because inferior functions will trigger each other and all you functions will clash since they’re the same. So Fi will battle Fi and you’ll have a “you’re selfish” or “you’re a bad person” or “I’m a better person than you” battle etc. and that will be with all functions. But if you’re enjoying your relationship, don’t let anyone stop you

[@amytiffanyhemingway]

@@agot7fan855 Yes we do fight a lot like that. I kind of think deep down we both know we don't mean it? And hate fighting with each other. That's why I watch these videos. After a couple of years we are starting to know each others triggers and how we react to them.

[@amytiffanyhemingway]

@@agot7fan855 it's funny as he always says I have no ambition - and I say to him I am the most ambitious person I know! I have ridiculous goals set for myself, I just don't think anyone realises it or sees it. Apparently INFP are super power hungry! I would say it's not power hungry, just fulfilling my own dreams hungry. Rejecting all control. I never crave having power over other people. Altho I do without trying. I can hypnotise people. I always say if I didn't have a guilt complex about being moral all the time I would be highly dangerous!

[@syuz559]

how’s it going?

[@stevemiller8895]

EXCELLENT VID! THANK YOU!

[@boshtovar]

I keep forgetting that the super ego counts now. I was like there not triple interest lol.

[@daxblair86]

INFPs are not triple Interest.

[@nowie4007]

Hm, I also thought nfj were triple interest rather than nfp

[@alisonfisher1877]

He meant to say triple affiliative.

[@Heanesy]

Can you explain? Infp, enfj and istp are-thier ego, sup and unc

[@daxblair86]

@@Heanesy No, ESTJ is their unc and it's systematic. ISTP is their super-ego.

[@Heanesy]

@@daxblair86 Ah yes, istp super ego, not sub or unc-but it still gives you three interest based sides. So im concern about why thier are not triple interest?

[@7733rk]

And I didn’t consider it but it’s true I do need to feel power but mainly because otherwise I will not feel like I’m bringing any worth to the relationship I am definitely influential and I would say I am pretty noticed but I feel uncomfortable when people give me power - I prefer to have subtle background power since there’s no extra mess. And usually I do believe I see it in a way mutually beneficial to all unless someone else shows me they can do this and then I gladly and willingly relinquish all power. But when someone praises me or forces attention socially - it is more revealing of them than it is anything else But anyone that is interested in me for success or reputation is not appealing to me - I’m usually attracted to someone super conscious and attentive and truthful but kind and calming

[@mahakhan1887]

My husband is an INFP. I don't know about the power thing in an intimate relationship but can relate at so many levels even though we're in a long distance relationship. I have experienced that things only change/improve when I give them a tough time or make them realize that they can't take me for granted. I have also been quite wrong in the past like criticizing him a lot privately (but praising him like hell publicly, hiding his flaws because I don't want others to think bad of him), threatened to give up on him many times because I was feeling unprotected/guilt tripped etc as nothing was improving (I never actually did that though). I regret hurting him in anyway it's just I am in the worst phase of my life so situations are hard to bear, patience level is low but I can't use it as an excuse. Alhamdulillah now he's improving and I admire him for that. He's perfectly imperfect and I find him adorable. He's my safest place.

[@SS-bu8ez]

What type are you?

[@mahakhan1887]

@@SS-bu8ez INFJ

[@SS-bu8ez]

@@mahakhan1887 Most Infjs I know like Enfps because their Te is higher up.

[@mahakhan1887]

@@SS-bu8ez Both are good in different way. One feels protected in ENFPs presence and safe with an INFP

[@SS-bu8ez]

@@mahakhan1887 Infjs are cool too! They understand what you're trying to say.

[@SmudgySage]

… the store analogy is very accurate, I’ve been doing that long before Internet. I use to pull out the Yellow Pages and call all to the local stores not only to see if the item was in stock but to also see who had it at the best price. So … what do you recommend for INFP’s to get out of that sleuth mode … Personally it is a trait of my personality that drives me insane.

[@fificore]

Being triple control is the bane of my existence, LOL.

[@blackkitty9098]

No wonder they're easily jealous of me when I get effortlessly getting more attention than them 😅...I get where they're coming from...

[@cacorn982]

Thanks for lecture Chase!( As many times it took to finally get this video recorded.) The relationship/s I've had/have all in some sort of way violated these rules. ( It seems nps in general are hard to understand and carry a relationship with. The other person gives up because it's too hard.) Edit: Also feels bad to know we enjoy power, because it usually leads to corruption or abuse of "something". Update: I would like to say this is a great lecture Chase, but to any nfp showing this video to any nfj partners, they will assume everything you do is for leverage and will possibly kill the desire from your relationship! (Because everything will be assumed that anything you do is only for power.) And if that is the assumption that is made you will always be looked at as "bad". And your te inferior will be harshly stepped on. I just wanted to be understood and my needs fulfilled but all I can say infps be aware just nothing but consequences exposing yourself to your love ones...

[@nethercords]

everyone shut up and listen to chase, he knows exactly wtf infps are all about. 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼

[@FatmaNadjahLManda]

No he doesnt. It is fucking annyoying listening to him

[@bethmaiden2621]

I'm an infp, can't relate to anything other than the sloth and cynicism re trust - and that's down to having limited energy due to illness + resent working on pointless tasks. ENFP don't really shit test to any great level beyond the norm to my knowledge/in my experience A 'spoilt' ENFP is slothful because they feel entitled to do whatever they want when they want it. . . ENFP priority is novelty/fun. INFP might take your ass to court on principle though. Whilst INFP obviously want to be able to influence, to claim that is the thing that drives them is ludicrous. Frustration at being ignored and belittled is obviously going to lead to an UNDERLYING desire to be able to assert and be listened to. Not their driver though. Your catagorisation is sloppy in this regard. Absolutely we don't require leverage over a partner. We need to be able to trust, and if you betray that trust on a great level, we'll use what we learnt about you to warn others. In my experience, ENFP would use leverage over the person to their advantage as their values are less important to them, but their wants/needs/novelty seeking is paramount, so their priority won't be to warn, it will be to gain assets so they have more freedom to pursue fun/whimsy. Obviously this is a generalisation, there will be ENFPs who are more in control of their NE and way more balanced re values and novelty seeking. I've known an ENFP use knowledge of a sexual assault, got the victim to stay quiet to get what they wanted out of the situation. Chase has obviously known a lot of non self aware/mistyped ENFP My daughter mistyped as INFP, she's ENFP and he's describing her too basically. She's incredibly controlling and will absolutely manipulate and has used leverage in immoral ways. She also struggles with ADHD, common in ENFP. They often talk about anxiety yet are very sociable, it's a noticeable juxtaposition, whereas INFP are noticeably more introverted, yet will surprise you when they slam anchors on and assert re values. Huge difference between fi ne and ne fi. NE is novelty seeking, ENFP priority, so values can be thrown over for that on a whim. They pride themselves on whimsy NOT values. NE in second slot is used VERY differently. Jung taught that if in first slot, person constantly feels trapped, has near zero patience for dealing with problems for any length of time, whereas if it's in the second slot, it is used to problem solve in a way no other type is able to. So INTP (Elon musk) works more towards solving practical issues and INFP slightly more towards solving relational issues. INFP is unlikely to have a high body count, all the ENFP I know, DO

[@RaffertyMBTI]

21:40 Duality pairs are grim, to me.. You'll starve each other to death.