8 Things You Should Keep To Yourself - Stop Oversharing!

[@anabautista8071]

1. Your goals. 2. Your relationships. 3. Your finances. 4. Your problems. 5. Your weaknesses. 6. Your lifestyle. 7. Your philosophy towards life. 8. Secrets and gossip!

[@melawieeinapfel8594]

Ok. I do none of these😂

[@robertsitch1415]

I guess you can say that those are roughly the most overshared things on public accounts.

[@JoyDavidson]

You ruined the video for me. I wanted to be surprised 😢

[@Ytchannel02]

As someone with adhd these are all the only things I feel the need to talk about especially philosophy and goals😭😭😭

[@msdd7610]

@@Ytchannel02 a lot of it is fine tbh

[@codewithvicky]

First point is very true for me. Do not share your goals. once it is shared, at the end of conversation, I felt like something already achieved. So I failed to perform action. I am realising this now. Thank you

[@DiamondsRexpensive]

And in most cases, people sabotage your work, goals, or steal the idea 😂

[@ThatGirlMoi]

How do I get over the regret of oversharing? I've been private for the last 4 months but now, upon reflections, I feel really guilty, icky, and embarrassed about the stuff I shared in the past 🙁😣

[@upgradedmentality]

The important part is you learned from your mistakes!

[@ndimugabe5891]

@basil it’s important that you forgive yourself

[@ThatGirlMoi]

Thank you all!

[@ThatGirlMoi]

@@ndimugabe5891 thanks for the reminder.🌸 I am learning to forgive myself and remember that I am not that person anymore

[@TaxingIsThieving]

@@ThatGirlMoi What kind of things did you share? What were the consequences?

[@lajellybeans]

I used to overshare a lot with people who I thought were safe to open up to and I learned my lesson the hard way to never do that again. From now on I only open up to people who I've been extremely close friends with for many years, and a few family members. I don't mind when people overshare with me, though. It shows that I give a trustworthy vibe and I'm pretty open minded.

[@Snailmail1]

Could you explain what happened where you learned the hard way? I have a hard time thinking of how they can use the info against me

[@mauroslife]

I gotta work on this oversharing problem I got. Glad I watched this video to understand more about my problem and how I can stop doing it.

[@upgradedmentality]

It's a process but you can do it!

[@idahamidah2211]

Not all people are normal. For toxic people, any information about you is useful for them to hurt you. That's why to not over sharing.

[@danny-li6io]

Sharing problems and weaknesses (making yourself vulnerable) with others is actually a very good thing because it helps you both bond and heal and grow(unless you want to have only superficial relationships)

[@chsjessguy]

Agree here. This video seems more directed towards conversations with strangers. does this advice apply to everyone expect your partner, family and friends who are like family? @upgradedmentality The video seems to frame it that these topics are only meant to be shared in close relationships and if someone asks/engages the topic first while telling you never to be the first one to share. Maybe surface level relationships are all there available in our individualistic American culture.

[@danny-li6io]

@@chsjessguy definitely

[@fluminesesoc]

Nope because they will use that against you or throw it back in your face in a argument. You been warned smh

[@myacct8304]

Lmao my phone is watching me I swear. I was JUST talking to my friend about how people are too quick to use their trauma to relate/bond with people, myself included in the past. We’ve got to go back to letting relationships develop organically and revealing ourselves gradually as we begin to understand a person’s TRUE nature.

[@upgradedmentality]

Siri, Google Home, and Alexa are listening! haha

[@cedb3360]

I got slapped on the cheeks left and right by each of your points. I really need to be mindful of these.

[@upgradedmentality]

Haha glad we could help!

[@hollywoodvampire8769]

People can’t destroy what they don’t know🤘💯

[@snakecybermint2551]

Not sharing your weaknesses is not enough, sometimes people can see them anyway

[@user-js6ch1mf8g]

Sp what do you do? I stay home lol

[@06林子瑄-o5q]

Thank you, I’ve been worried that I was talking too much about myself. Definitely saw things that I need to work on.

[@upgradedmentality]

You got this!

[@pollynlyubenova8365]

I agree to an extend but then I also disagree. I think everyone should decide for themselves what their boundaries are. If people never talked about any of the things you mentioned, then they wouldn't become friends in the first place. I completely agree that privacy with people you don't know very well is important but in order to get closer to people you have to show a bit more about yourself as a person. As a person who despises small talk, I wish I don't meet people who follow your advice 100 percent.

[@CandyK_117]

Thank you for also seeing both sides

[@heyjude5027]

I agree with you. You cannot have real people without revealing yourself and without trusting them...walling up isn't right if you want to have social life and connections.

[@ianbabelon8259]

The Banksy quote sumps it all up really nicely! People will only notice and revel when your work finally shines into the world entirely on its own merits, without you having to share or others having to know anything else.

[@itzastraea9036]

This is my biggest drawback, of over sharing 😢 I hate this habit of mine also I do a lot of it like over caring over loving over thinking 🙂

[@upgradedmentality]

Half the battle is knowing the problem! We have a video on Overthinking too!

[@yuki750]

thank you i needed this kind of video. i end up oversharin sometimes some details, and i feel always guilty of doing that...

[@upgradedmentality]

Glad it was helpful!

[@TaxingIsThieving]

I already undershare, and this video has made me worse...

[@jyothihugar2577]

This video gave me a list of all mistakes i have done in d past

[@upgradedmentality]

I hear that! I think a lot of people can relate

[@kevinjanghj]

If the relationship is a trauma bond, telling it to your friends will not help it to become better. Your friends who truly care will tell you that you are in a bad rut.

[@garynaccarato4606]

If you over share then based on what you what you said people develop certain expectations of you and people make you feel pressured to live up to the expectations they have of you based on what you shared.

[@airishviscara2326]

True 😖

[@myacct8304]

Or live DOWN to those expectations if you continually share weaknesses, failures, insecurities, character flaws, etc. It’s a very real thing that people start to unconsciously lose respect for you, stop taking you seriously, and get very surprised (and lowkey resentful) when you actually display some strength.

[@skaio.5279]

@@myacct8304 THIS

[@MauriceRivers415]

When dealing with evil people, distance yourself ASAP and cut off all contact. Silence is killer to their ego, because then they have no access to you, which is what they crave in order to feed their insecurity.

[@Sophia-23]

Great video. In a nutshell: speak little, speak less! 👍

[@allblueberries]

It's important to be vague when people ask for details about how you obtained things too. Many times I have told "best friends" about how I was hired in certain jobs. Granted these were basic and run of the mill jobs, but sure enough the people I told got the same one, and did much better. I wasn't bitter because I was naive, but I later realized that I had given too much information. And while I don't believe in lying, I have decided if anyone in the future asks me what I make (rude), I am going to say 38,500 or 43,000 instead of "that's personal". That way it keeps me sounding poor and non-threatening while I privately work on my goals.

[@bongdayoff4821]

I learned a lot from this video. I will keep this in mind. Thank you for making this content. I will always remember that invisibility is a super power.

[@heyjude5027]

I hope recruiters can watch this too. Stop asking applicants if what are their weaknesses.

[@SunriseOpportune]

🤣

[@rachel_espinoza]

Underrated opinion, you should keep your body count to yourself

[@blackbirdofficialmusic]

Great video 👌 don't talk about it.. Just Do it!!

[@upgradedmentality]

Exactly!

[@wilbur111]

Reasons not to share: 1) Doing so makes you feel satisfied 2) Your friends are crappy. 3) Your friends are crappy. 4) Your friends are crappy. 5) Your friends are crappy. 6) Your friends don't care 7) No-one likes you 8) People don't like you. To be honest... I think the problem here isn't the sharing...

[@TaxingIsThieving]

1. Don't tell anyone you're rich. 2. Don't tell anyone you're poor. 3. Don't tell anyone you go to church. 4. Don't tell anyone you go to gym. 5. Don't tell anyone your goals. 6. Don't tell anyone your problems. Sorted!

[@TMTgirl]

EXACTLY!!

[@user-yi7td2sq9b]

I struggle with this so badly. I find myself going into unnecessary detail with people, friends and family, mostly, not strangers. It's a real struggle.

[@Chahlie]

If you have any success at all with money do NOT share that with anyone. People react very strangely to it.

[@robertsitch1415]

Arguably, almost everyone with a public Instagram account or vlog channel is featuring their lifestyle.

[@upgradedmentality]

Absolutely... those people need to be especially careful.

[@Jb-gj5zy]

But what should I talk about then😅 using some random details of my life to have something to talk about makes conversations easier.

[@Marty1410]

What a great message. Thank you.

[@upgradedmentality]

Glad you liked it!

[@amyyoshikawa7698]

Me too I will never text or show my personal photos to next door neighbors. I thought they were nice but maybe narcissistic. I tried to be nice don’t need their help. I tried to be frugal I hate it when neighbors think I go out a lot for being single I run errands etc not their business. My bad too. Now I feel so angry and feel like running away. I miss my parents. I never told other neighbors what to do what not to do. Even though they say they worry they don’t really care. I learned a huge lesson. I hate life in SoCal now. 😢

[@ButterFly-cw7sj]

Useful reminder!!!!!

[@iammojica3519]

I am very thankful.after watching dis i am not aware dat me and my husband have superpowers.i met a man who valued everything that makes you happy or not should be keep in private.and we havr Superpowers

[@ButterFly-cw7sj]

There is power in silence...

[@truthoverfacts9254]

I needed this video. I have Asperger syndrome, and talk too freely.

[@JoyDavidson]

Such a wonderful video.

[@upgradedmentality]

Thank you very much!

[@Chris-hp2gg]

An enigma wrapped up in a riddle.😂

[@himanshupatil7263]

I believe in your all points

[@leilaldn9066]

Now I know what i need to work on. I share all my goals and lifestyle but no more

[@empea4403]

Great channel 😊

[@upgradedmentality]

Thank you!

[@omsbki]

Really great advice

[@upgradedmentality]

Thanks One More Sun!

[@kallistoindrani5689]

Your finances. Damn, that one is true but I didn't learn it soon enough. Or well, I learn it now to do better in the future. 🤞🤞

[@cariemccart9241]

Your voice is so familiar to me! I enjoy these videos. Great therapy, great messages, a ton of intellect and knowledge to be gained from these videos. Keep up the good work Dr.

[@Mrs-u8r]

I am the opposite since Covid and my spiritual awakening. I basically cut off every useless friend every narcissistic relative boy did it really open up my eyes to see how Yuen valuable the humans in my life were and I’ve never been happier. My focus is to God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit and that’s about it, and when you finally discover this, I am telling you you are so free and I’m not saying to be mean to these people but believe me they are not where they used to be in my heart and for good reason I don’t wanna share anything with anybody! Not my goals not what I’ve been going through nothing I know now that I was surrounded by jealousy and envious people that literally bought my husband and my family down that will never ever happen again

[@globetrotter6368]

Basically he’s saying don’t trust or talk to anyone so you can never make a mistake and therefore you can never get hurt. Which is great if you want to live your entire life alone. In reality what he’s saying doesn’t work because we are all human beings. Also he can’t count.

[@anonymousph7477]

How point is not to overshare. 😕

[@TaxingIsThieving]

This is the exact life I'm 'living' at the moment. This video is only encouraging me

[@adeyosola414]

@Globe Trotter 😄😄😄 You almost got me there. I had to go back and recount: there are 8 things in the video. Everyone will have one or a few people they can confide in which is normal but I get what he means: he is referring to people like the former me that tend to overshare with coworkers, acquaintances, family members that don't care about you etc

[@aparnasingh8546]

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE ONES IN THE BACKKKK woof what a video

[@therealist2000]

I've always known this as life has generally taught me this BUT I've never been able to keep it quiet. I am not someone who wants to share, I only share because it's harder to make friends this way.

[@christinelee6477]

I think we all have to come to the realization that nobody else gives af about us, except those select few such as some (not all) family & friends. I used to share my shit to literally everyone-- strangers, uber/lyft drivers, "friends" I just met, coworkers, guys I just became involved with, etc. Everyone who'd listen. And I found.. most people truly didn't care about me or what happened to me. It hurt even worse when some would initially act like they cared. So yeah, I felt really called out by this video lol. It's a touch, cold world out there. Most ppl don't care about us. & sharing so much was too my detriment. It's helped me connect with people faster at times, but more often than not it connected me to the wrong people right away. I'm 31, and oversharing has caused problems all my damn life. And it's definitely impeded my success & slowed me down. It's about time I learned.

[@mahima7638]

I can feel you. I am 22 and over sharing has been the only cause if I look back at all the major setbacks and problems that I’ve faced 🙁

[@christinelee6477]

Good that you realized this now so that you can get better. I try to keep to myself more & share with people I know I can trust, like close family members. It's better not to show too much weakness to the outside world.@@mahima7638

[@janedarc1471]

Without thinking, I have shared some information with my friend, after I regretted it, now I’m thinking, is that the reason why she stays friend with me? Or she just asked innocently?

[@upgradedmentality]

Live and learn!

[@joanneenj2042]

Some people secretly grab ideas. I learned this the hard way. Stay quiet.

[@nobodyhelpu5734]

So sad i never watched this b4 i rly needed it

[@sannyvain7196]

Hard to learn to stop over sharing with my sister . I’m trying to level up and she seems to put weight on me with all that extra drama and negativity.

[@lavenderchai1613]

I enjoyed this video, thank you.

[@Riffs88]

Loved this!

[@upgradedmentality]

Thank you!

[@farahsiddiqui7380]

Please make a video on why people over share their n others private life

[@dianaalmeida6790]

So you basically want people to stop being human...At some point one needs to share something with someone, and it's not true that invisibility is a superpower, invisible people sometimes get trampled and overrun by others.While oversharing is not advised, staying completely quite makes you stop having friends and contacts. No one likes people who only have water cooler/ elevator conversations.

[@julianneleino3715]

I agree with you so much. I was actually very confused for about a half of the whole video😆

[@TaxingIsThieving]

That would explain why no likes me... I literally have no idea what the rules are anymore.

[@marcotisch2605]

I once saw an article telling people to „stop talking about taboo topics like mental health, sex or politics“ on the topic of oversharing. So are we back to being ashamed of our identity and mental struggles… this is moving us backwards, mental health is should not be a „taboo topic“ 😭

[@pawanj1019]

Helpful video. Thanks!

[@upgradedmentality]

Glad it was helpful!

[@avagsargsyan404]

Great video. Underrated as hell

[@upgradedmentality]

Glad you think so!

[@MWisdomWisdom]

EVERYTHING.

[@NjabuloNdlovu-l3k]

Thank ❤❤ You

[@upgradedmentality]

You're welcome 😊

[@garynaccarato4606]

Things related to spirituality religion or lack there of I would say that in most cases I would say that alot of the times you certainly shouldn't be over sharing that stuff.

[@TaxingIsThieving]

Why?

[@minhtho3]

I really appreciate this video, and thanks for making it.

[@upgradedmentality]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@evamurillo4817]

So good! Thank you for this great information!😊

[@upgradedmentality]

You are so welcome!

[@avelinemonroe5509]

so helpful thank you

[@siamavimbela]

love this so much

[@ElaBB2020]

Hmm, the relationship part I'm going to say shouldn't be there. This causes people who are feeling like the relationship is off to not talk through it with someone who knows them well enough. Sometimes people need someone else to validate them and support them when they are trying to leave. They need a safe person that knows to help them.

[@morwediwakgosi]

Thank you for the this video I learned A LOT

[@upgradedmentality]

Glad it was helpful!

[@HS-dy4uq]

🤫great topic 1. Goals, this is why Messi never touched the world cup trophy lol 2. Relationships, I still think people should know the basics for an objective assessment 3. Money, true also because people compare themselves so often 4. Problems, true 5. Weaknesses, also true, people may take advantage of this 6. Lifestyle, high-level only, but if people ask about it 7. Philosophy, disagree this should be challenged 8. Gossip, just live your own life

[@upgradedmentality]

1. Yes he has :)

[@jmsl910]

this may be the worst way to approach life that i have ever, ever heard it's screams: fear& distrust to the point of paranoia. good grief

[@Snailmail1]

How can ppl take advantage of weaknesses?

[@taba4648]

Thank you

[@upgradedmentality]

You're welcome!

[@colourMeHappy06_22]

So true so very true thanxxx

[@upgradedmentality]

Thanks for watching!

[@Africa-f1p]

Thanks for this 👊👊

[@upgradedmentality]

You bet!

[@Nkz9859]

9/10 times DONT SHARE ANYTHING !!!

[@shahinparvez4465]

Thank you 🌹

[@lifestoryguy]

I don't know if I agree with the first one on the list because i used my Facebook posts to update the word count I reached each week in writing two of my novels. Writing down where I got to and what I still had left to write kept me motivated and helped me overcome my anxiety around the quality of what I was writing. Having public accountability forced me to keep my integrity and achieve my goal rather being crippled by anxiety or perfectionism. I wrote two novels in five months doing this.

[@jadeparsons6955]

Is there a video on your opinion on what's appropriate in your opinion? I don't mean it in a bad way I just don't how I can grow different behaviours to change these habits.

[@KE010101]

Excellent video!

[@upgradedmentality]

Thank you very much!

[@lanilani5784]

tysm

[@upgradedmentality]

You are welcome!

[@FaridLipi]

Thanks

[@triciadoiron1535]

So what do we speak of to connect with others

[@Jokeisha2010]

oh wow this just checked me quick

[@a.clemons]

I wish I was smarter about this because i got blasted and berated for it by someone who told me I wasn’t even their friend. I feel so embarrassed and ashamed. I also wish I didn’t ask so much about them to have prevented it.

[@Penguin9796]

thats heartbreaking..... im so sorry. thats messed up. :/

[@a.clemons]

@@Penguin9796 thank you so much. I’ve been better with it though. f them.

[@brassattacks2411]

tbf, they were not acting from a healthy place either to blast you

[@a.clemons]

@@brassattacks2411 yeah i know that. They always made me feel burdensome but let me just go on about myself, then they let me have it basically for being too open and kind. what disgusting way they acted, but it is important to not share too much of yourself. especially to those who afterwards, say they’re not even your friend. and pretty much don’t want anything to do with you. 😕 however, I’m a lot better since all of this.❤️

[@a.clemons]

@@brassattacks2411 what do you mean?

[@KimmyJo666]

The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

[@HogwartsTR]

So if you’re not supposed to talk about any of these things what are you supposed to talk about?

[@TaxingIsThieving]

This kind of advice is literally the reason I have no friends.

[@marcotisch2605]

Apparently keep talking about weather, forever, no matter how close you are to a person. At best, don’t get close at all! Why don’t we just go back in time where talking abt problems would get you isolated from society? This „advice“ just sounds very.. let’s say, backwards.

[@TaxingIsThieving]

@@marcotisch2605 I don't get what the balance is. My problem is undersharing.

[@AWayOfLiving84]

🤫

[@MistySomi]

Ty c:

[@sana.m.haddad]

Great video! Can you do "The Things you can see only when you slow down" by haemin sunim?

[@upgradedmentality]

I'll check it out! I've never read that one

[@tdgalappaththi]

I like your channel. What tools you use to create your videos?

[@upgradedmentality]

Thank you! I use Videoscribe to do the animations. I'll leave a link for them below. It is an affiliate link and I'll get a small commission if you buy, but it won't cost you anything! bit.ly/3rsbihB

[@xenofontasstratigos6549]

So you don't talk to anyone about anything! So you don't talk generally! 🥰

[@aubreelewis355]

You don’t have to work your butt off to have success

[@upgradedmentality]

Hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard!

[@francescacolby1969]

So what do you talk about

[@the1only467]

The fact that this video had to be made says A LOT about our society now…sad.

[@Kana-vv6iv]

I don’t share my goals irl. Only game strategies

[@Davidhxc7]

bruh wow i got slapped up and down here haha! omg...am i doing it rn?

[@Stepha3265]

If you’re rich don’t brag other’s will try to take advantage of you

[@mmommo10]

people who are super silent scare me though.

[@splendidfalafel8987]

same

[@FaridLipi]

Wow

[@uui219]

Number 2 is crazy. That's how you end up isolated and abused. No wonder a man came up with that. Ladies, tell your trusted friends about your relationship issues. Do NOT listen to this MAN.

[@jmsl910]

exactly

[@jenniferbuehrer3272]

So uh. 🙋🏼‍♀️What do we talk about 😂😂

[@Lilly-rt7sb]

mention things in brief if the other person is interested then tell them more

[@sadusharma1990]

I have learnt too late😣

[@upgradedmentality]

Never to late, just start today!

[@TaxingIsThieving]

What happened 🤐