81 year old hoarder trying to change...

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[@TheCarlaProject]

“🐮🌾Download Fiona’s Farm for free via my link: jaj.onelink.me/gkHP/px6wcfh0

[@louiseisobel]

Carla you’re such a bright light in our world today. Thank you so much ☺️ ❤

[@llllllllllilillii]

Surprised no one's thanking the son in the comments. He deserves all the praise. Thanks to the son for all his hard work. He's incredible! She should be grateful she has someone to help her.

[@siyarakb5305]

Yes , for him the whole thing must be so tedious. I felt so bad for him.I think no one wants to be rude to Joan I guess.

[@CL-mn1yq]

And the fact she cared for her mom until 105! They have a legacy of caring in this family ❤

[@kokopai]

Yeah. I feel for him. When she said: "when i die, someone else can deal with it." That triggered something in me. My mom says the same, and i am an only child. So because she doesn't want to spend her time and go through it and deal with it, she pushes that burden onto me. I think it is selfish and irresponsible to be completely honest.

[@MickeyC321]

As a 73 year old, i am trying to keep up with my stuff/ treasures. I also have many interests and enjoy thrift shopping, however, I understand the safety factor involved with too many objects and health. This lovely lady has been through a lot of emotions with her mother’s care and then passing. Aging is not for the faint of heart and frankly, kind of scary. Patience and understanding go a long way. AND, her son, Carla and the other helpers should be commended for being so helpful. They are just trying to help her be able to stay and enjoy her home safely. Bless all of you for “adulting”.

[@poodlegirl55]

He was so respectful. He realized he had to operate on a slow timetable even though that's not how he would have done it. She might not realize her danger of eviction but he does.

[@sherryhudson9075]

Kudos to Joan’s son, you, and her neighbors for helping her. It’s not easy.

[@Cozy-vlog466]

Hello 👋🏻

[@christineg6123]

Thank you Joan for allowing Carla into your home and film for the internet! So many of our grandparents have the same struggle. You are not alone.

[@katy8792]

Joan my parents left it for their kids to do after they were gone. That’s not fair to the kids. It was so much work and I resented it. Doing it now is a gift to them later. I’m doing it for my sons now so they won’t have to do it when I’m gone. Once it’s out of the house I don’t miss it one bit. Life isn’t about stuff. I love my family too much to leave that burden on them.

[@kjsstudent]

Yes, that is the loving, unselfish way of doing it. Grief is hard enough without the burden of cleaning up a hoarded home.

[@jenniferjohnson7955]

I have down sized my belonging. I don't want my kids to have to deal with my mess when I am gone. They will be grieving and I want them to have the time and space to do so.

[@lauramitchell6725]

Thoughtful.👍

[@maddscientist3170]

YOU my dear are a WONDERFUL thoughtful parent!!!

[@calypso4554]

I think no one has ever made me understand so clearly as lovely Joan did, what it means to clear a hoarder house. It has so much to do with respect, respecting other peoples values. And it becomes a balancing act between respect and necessity and understanding. Like her son said: it's a giving and taking. It will give me a lot to think about. Thank you Joan. Thank you Carla.

[@briarmunro]

Carla, the way you are speaking to Joan is so respectful and understanding. Joan, you are doing an incredible job!! 👏

[@poodlegirl55]

I am a senior and living in a smaller home in retirement. The only thing that helped me was to start with a clean, freshly painted empty room, add my furniture and shelves and then start bringing in my favorite things and stop when it started to feel full. Once I could see my spaces without a lot of stuff I liked it. She will enjoy her spaces when done, my best to her. Haha I was a telephone operator too!!

[@lkkubono]

This is a great point. It's a very different experience to choose the things I really want and love, and put it into a clean, clear room. Then I can just let the rest go.

[@Tinamar65]

True! That‘s how I declutter a closet or a drawer: clean slate then asking „what is worth it to take the space?“ ❤

[@bernadette573]

I like that idea. It's the same with rehabbing a house. Get one room done, not bits and pieces of everything. Your mind needs to see order.

[@poodlegirl55]

@@bernadette573 A lot of it is a mind game. It helped my brain to be positive and pick out the things I loved. Just looking at a bunch of stuff and choosing what needed to go was very hard for me.

[@sarahkinsey5434]

Sounds like an addition to the moving declutter method. Pack things up to see what you take out after a set amount of time. You know what you love

[@justher247]

As an only child, I implore you don't leave it for your kids to have to handle. It's is like pouring alcohol onto a gapping wound. They have already lost you, and now they have the large task to go through all of your things. Everything is not special. It, in fact, becomes so overwhelming that it all becomes trash.

[@YarX0]

This, this needs to be said 👏Too much stuff, especially when recovering from a loss of a loved one, does become trash and later possibly a regret. I absolutely appreciate that we're all different but I'd personally love for everyone to at least consider what will happen when they're no longer around.

[@jenramirez5329]

I absolutely agree! Right now I am decluttering myself and my mom sees me detaching from things and I hope she does the same. I’m not a person attached to stuff because I know this stuff is not mine and if I’m not using it why not allow someone else benefit from it. I have these conversations with my mom and she doesn’t listen or even know how anxious it makes me feel that her bedroom is so cluttered that I fear I’ll be the one dealing with it if something happens to her, I’ve voiced this to her because my cousins went through it with her sister after her passing to the point that we almost lost one to suicide because of the overwhelming feeling of loss and then memories and doing the decluttering of the things of someone you love.

[@ykook7000]

Yes and be HONEST with your family l've already nagged my family and told them a million times l don't want to have to clean up their Crap lol

[@denisecarter5117]

The son is being so kind. Ruined the relationship with my mom over stuff like this. Joan your son is more important than all the garage sale stuff crammed in your house. Let him help you. He is not your enemy and he wants you to be free to keep living in a nice place. It truly is up to you if you can keep living there or be moved into a one room nursing home. Our stuff is not what defines us.

[@sherridynpistorius4910]

I am the opposite of Joan, I'm terrified of leaving my daughters a bunch of stuff that will take up so much emotional energy when I'm gone. so glad to see Joan is working on the journey😊

[@kjsstudent]

That is very considerate and loving of you.

[@kokopai]

That is wonderful

[@rosemarycornwall5162]

Me too, age 65 and Swedish Death Cleaning gently as fast as I can x

[@poodlegirl55]

That is me. I decluttered for a year, moved to a smaller house and decluttered another two years. I have nothing in storage now, not even one plastic tote.

[@Shiryone]

It's very brave of her to be on camera during this process. Seeing the "decluttering" book in the middle of all these things speaks volumes. I hope she can get her "things" to a manageable amount and heal & grow in the process.

[@lfuentes4098]

Thank you Joan. I had an aunt that was about 82 when she passed. Her house resembled yours. Tons of books, art, dolls, jewelry. She loved beautiful things and was an artist as well. She became ill and when the ambulance came they could barely get through. Of course, they intervened and she had to clear out at least a clear pathway through her living spaces to get to her out in an emergency. My cousin got everything in his path and put it in black trash bags and put them in the carport. She didn’t allow him to trash it until she was able to go through the bags. My sister and I tried to help her. We cleaned around the clutter and asked her if it was ok to throw certain things away. She had nice dreams of sending books to poor areas in her childhood town. But unfortunately she was unable to do so. On one of my sisters visits she had found her taking her final rest. I hope that her family took the time to go through the items and saved at least her photos. She was the family historian. But honestly it would’ve been a daunting task. A friend of hers told me that 3 big trash containers took away all her things that were unclaimed by her children. 😢 I thought it was really sad. I empathize because I’m a collector too. And I would never want anyone to come into my home and remove things willy nilly. Currently, my dad is in his 80’s and I see how he upset he gets when I tell him things like, dad, you don’t need this anymore, can you get rid of it. It’s terribly upsetting for both of us. I want to see him in a nice safe home in his golden years. But I think you hit the nail on the head, we are taking away control. And for someone that has spent the last 50+ years collecting what some may see as trash, it’s his life’s work. I would be so upset if someone came into my home and threw everything away. I will continue to help him as best as I can and respect his decisions because we need to honor his wishes. I wish you much luck on your journey Joan. And I hope you continue to let Carla share your progress. It’s so helpful for us struggling with these same issues. ❤ Thank you Carla. And thank you Todd and kind neighbors. Your love and patience for Joan is beautiful.

[@crystalsdance]

Beautifully said. Thank you for sharing your personal stories. It puts it so much perspective! God bless you as you walk through each step with your father in the times ahead! You are loved!

[@lkkubono]

All this!

[@michelem9277]

Thank for the grace and kindness you show these people in your life. Change takes time and patience. Especially for old people. Things mean more to us because we were raised to value everything we own. We worked hard to accumulate these things.. it is hard to detach from them. Everthing has memories attached. Chage is a process. Hopefully you Dad will accept help and be able to live happily with less stuff. Good luck.

[@reneecellmer1659]

Thank you for sharing your story. I am 70 and have been downsizing my possessions the past few years. I'm delighted when I find someone in need of something I have.

[@patricia.g1651]

It's really not easy. Sometimes, you have to make tough decisions for your loved one's health and safety. Knowing when it's time: to take away the car keys; when piles of stuff pose a walking hazard; when pests enter the home; when important documents can't be easily located. It takes time, effort, money, and, most importantly love/respect to remedy the situation. Been there.

[@lawjoy72]

Oh Carla, this is a bittersweet video for me. Last year, we had to declutter my 85 year old dad’s home because it was at a severe hoarder level and had become very unsafe. Now I am working on my in-law’s home (they are also in their 80’s), which is more clean but still full of stuff and it is so incredibly hard to do it in a respectful way. I feel for Tod and Joan. I applaud them for even being willing to try to move forward in an effort to clean up her home. You were so sweet to Joan, I know that she felt heard and validated so thank you for being kind. Keep helping people, you are a gem.

[@annlamade91]

Joan, thank you for helping me how to help my 92 year old mother clean out her condo in a respectful way. I loved listening to you talk.

[@laurabalzekas4163]

I hope we see a follow up with Joan! She seems like a sweet lady and although she has a lot of things it sounds like she is a collector and some of the pieces in her home are so unique. Would love to see her apartment more "curated".

[@justRoRo]

As an LA native, I am IN AWE of her awesome apartment! Private staircase, rooftop, sun room, 2 bedrooms and what seems like a lot of little special nooks. ❤ Plus, I know it's under RSO based on some of the architectural features I saw... I hope she keeps going (she's doing great!) and can soon fully enjoy the wonderful layout of that special apartment in her remaining years ❤

[@TheCarlaProject]

Yes gorgeous home in the best neighborhood it’s a dream place!!

[@susannovak8263]

Thank you, Joan, for sharing your home with us. Carla is the perfect person to help you accomplish your goal. Sending nothing but good vibes your way. ❤

[@karenc1733]

That poor son! He’s tried his best. He loves his mother so much.

[@bethc7243]

It is apparent to me that Todd loves Joan, and the most important “thing” in the apartment is Joan. Keep up the good work Joan! Then, Todd can continue to return blessings and assist you in your many years ahead. That’s what Mom’s do; make the way for their kids to shine!

[@maddscientist3170]

unfortunately I did NOT have "thoughtful" parents........

[@idid138]

My parents had a lot of stuff too. They weren't perfect, they were people. I miss them and all their imperfections. Well most of them, lol.

[@lorig.7127]

Local libraries will accept Dvd movies and CDs for donation. This way hundreds of folks can enjoy this media. Instead of it sitting on the shelves in the apartment, left to b be unused. My local library also will accept books sold (in stores) within the last 5 years or less. They will either be added to their collection or sold in their annual book fair that raises funds for year round library prograns.

[@marthasherod9007]

Please ask your local library before you take the items there. I'm a librarian and know not all libraries accept donations.

[@abbysheridan1429]

In one week she did a great job and made good progress. I’m glad Carla is there to help.

[@debraworley8815]

Joan.....What a vibrant woman you are....I'm so glad you are willing to make room for YOUR fun activities.....I've been a librarian for almost 35 years......sadly...the times...they are a changing.......breaks my little librarian heart.....but.....clear those books out...to make room for the activities you really love!!!! It's ok!!!!!!!!!

[@moonsidecafe]

This is tough, but I feel like you have to think about your kids. When you're no longer here, it's too much to bear... dealing with the loss of a parent and then having to deal with a mess.

[@kokopai]

I completely agree. Parents owe that to their children.

[@behniwal08]

Thank you for letting her share HER story. The way she explains her thought process and feelings makes such sense! Often times it seems like people don't want to understand the hoarder's pov because they're so tunnel visioned on their own perspectives.

[@beachlover4413]

Joan-the things you said are just what my 89 year old mom says. She doesn't want to be told-she wants to make the decisions. I think we, as her children, are helping by directing but you made it clearer. (and I think you understand better from other people not related to you when your parents are driving you crazy). Thank you for sharing. Carla, you are such a wonderful person. I hope we get to see Joan's house when she is done. BTW my mom is Joan too.

[@jwb3136]

This was my mother in laws house. She passed two years ago and my husband brought so much of it into our house. 😢 I’m hoping in a few years when we move he will be ready to let go so this isn’t me in 40yrs. Joan is lovely and I loved my MIL but it’s hard to be left with so much stuff to deal with. I’m glad to see her work through some of this while she’s still here. ❤

[@idid138]

I think in time it will be easier to let it go. Try to honor the stuff you do for sure want to keep, maybe that will make it easier to let go of the rest.

[@thatgirlirish5492]

Her son is a good human with lots of love and patience for his mom ❤️. Praying more progress is made for her sake, and for his. P.S. her art collection is fantastic.

[@user-dj3sn5wi1s]

Wow, this woman has a lot of beautiful things. She doesn't seem to be an average hoarder. God Bless her to go through this at her age. She knows she has to make changes! I hope she lives 20 more years in her organized apartment.

[@Genie519]

Her son seems so helpful. I hope she appreciates his time and help with this. Our neighbour ended up in a nursing home because she fell in her clutter and broke her hip. She had no family to help. Hoarders can’t see the danger in the clutter ☹️. I wish them luck!

[@lizk1216]

The most frustrating thing is the safety aspect. My mum was unsafe in her house but absolutely refused to change anything. As long as the elderly person keeps saying no to help the worry and the burden on the family can be extremely stressful and impossible to deal with. My mum is now in a nursing home feeling very bitter and angry and it's upsetting for everyone. I am the opposite, I have regular clear outs and keep on top of everything because I would hate to put my children through what I have gone through

[@mauramel4149]

Joan is so articulate and her expressing her feelings so beautifully is so sweet and she is doing great at her own pace! I can’t wait to see the progress going forward. ❤

[@fayejones6740]

At least she is willing to turn loose to some things and has a great attitude about all this. Seems to be a vibrant person. As for her son, he is a super hero. I can imagine how hard this is on him. He’s a loving son. Amazing story.

[@celestedavis-dill3784]

Joan, what a lovely lady you are! Like many others, I appreciate you allowing us into your home, and enlightening us on what it’s like for you, as a parent, as an older person, as a self-proclaimed hoarder. I LOVE that you have so many hobbies, and are talented. You deserve to stay in your home, and to be safe and comfortable in it. The progress you’ve made is tremendous, and I look forward to seeing and learning more about you and the beautiful end result.

[@fabienneroure9995]

Very well said!❤❤ I agree with your great comment!❤

[@lisabarr6004]

Me too ✋️

[@curlycharlybrown]

Well done to Joan for accepting help and therapy. Thats huge! Todd is amazingly patient as well. Great video as always Carla

[@deirdrebridge]

I love all the colors being revealed in her walls and art as she and Todd have cleared spaces in Joan’s home. I can tell it’s a bright and happy home. It’s so great that she can see the vision of more open and usuable spaces. You’re doing great, Joan! And thanks for sharing your space with us!

[@krystal7382]

I can really relate to Joan. I'm not quite 81 yrs old yet..but I am in the process of downsizing and decluttering. It is so hard to do this alone. It is also difficult to explain why ppl hoard. We just do it & sometimes we need ppl to help us. Carla is the perfect person to help with this project. Joan I don't think you will be disappointed in the end. I wish you much success.🙏🏽💕

[@lenorerhodes8110]

I absolutely understand how Joan wants to look through and sort the treasures she has taken a lifetime to collect. Bless her looking after her Mother until she was 105. That is incredible when we know Joan’s age. My 93 year old Aunty is a collector of treasures also. Family are having a go at her all the time. She finds it very upsetting. I’m not a hoarder but I respect her life choice. I have assisted her to let go of some of her treasures because I give her time to go through them, talk about them and then make the decision. ❤️🌺

[@karenc1733]

I adore books and had as many as Joan, but I had a major shift in my mindset about keeping them. Once I’ve read the book and it sits on my shelf it’s no longer telling it’s story to anybody. A book is like a river, it needs to flow and not get stagnant. I made the decision to give all my books to a book seller. Yes, they make money out of it. But the great thing is that each book will be bought by another person and therefore the book’s story lives on. Isn’t that what story telling is all about, passing it on?

[@isisverissimo8881]

This is a beautiful way of thinking!

[@angelicajones3958]

Carla, as you were showing Joan's apartment, there was a framed embroidery of a woman reading a letter. My mother, who has passed away, embroidered this same piece. I have it hanging in my family room. Please tell Joan this. This is the first time that I have ever seen another one. It warmed my heart to see it in her home.

[@fayeashcroft7066]

Thanks for the great video Carla I feel for the son Todd. What a champ to be patient and he kept carrying on with the decluttering I’m so glad my parents had very little in their house. I’m so glad the Swedish death cleaning came out as I have very little in my house Great Patience Carla Well done 👍 Australia 🇦🇺 👍👍👍👍👍👍

[@c.wright3750]

Always the I don’t care what you do with it after, I’ll be dead. Here’s the thing. We also won’t care about your stuff after you die. We don’t care about it now. We care about you now. We want you to live where you want but it must be changed for your health. Please don’t put this on your kids that love you. YOU are stubborn NOT your kids.

[@dianahogg6164]

I feel for her son, he has a big job ahead of him. Lucky woman she had a loving son who has to clean up all the hoarding. She mentioned Control. Time is running out. Great woman but selfish I send him strength and love. ❤

[@M_B_44]

This is an amazing video. Tod, Carla and Joan all working together. Beautiful souls, making a difference and treating each other with dignity. ❤

[@andeebee2530]

I’ve been watching a channel where the mother was a hoarder and after she died the daughter is trying to clean out her mother’s house. It is so sad to see her so exhausted and overwhelmed. I’m glad that Joan is starting to clear out some of her own things and not leave it all to the son to eventually be left with. Joan will also get the pleasure of living comfortably in her space again.

[@jaindeau772]

And if she does it now, she has a chance to tell others the story that goes along with items that are really special to her.

[@berniea.3255]

Joan, what you said about older people wanting to be valued is such an impactful statement. Older people don’t want to be invisible or minimized yet so many are. I just want to let you know that you are seen and heard so perfectly in this interview. I for one will not forget it. Thank you and thanks to Carla for bringing you to us. Wishing you much luck and joy in this journey you are on!

[@user-qx5ri5ds2s]

Such a stressful situation for everyone. Wishing you all the best with your decluttering progress!

[@anjid9519]

This has so inspired me I have just subscribed, am 63 and in UK just starting my own decluttering journey and have taken so much from this video, thank you Joan for being brave enough to share x

[@josephdaly2015]

Take a bow 🙇‍♀️ Joan you are doing amazing and thanks for letting us in and telling your story. With the help of your son Todd, Carla and your community you will achieve releasing more from your apartment making people happy with your items and making money too. Carla you are great to listen, encourage and motivate. I hope this is the start of a new series? Have a great week. Mary, Joes wife 👏👍💪🙏💐🐶

[@RitaVernoy]

Great start, Joan! Thank you for allowing your son and Carla to help you to make your home a safe place where you can live and be happy.😊

[@gloria_providencia]

Karla, you’re allways showing so much respect, love and compassion! I didn’t know your mother was a hoarder, so that’s what it was for, to make this your life purpose! Keep doing that great work, you’re an inspiration and motivation! Many blessings!

[@gloria_providencia]

I meant to write Carla with a C ! Apologies!

[@c.jakubowski6549]

This is so wonderful Carla. Not only is this a fire hazard, this environment is a real falls risk. Understand that clearing out reduces her chances of falling, injuring herself and losing her independence with an injury (broken hip). She has a great personality and full of wonderful stories. Love that she is a dog person. Her son is so supportive and your can tell he really loves her and his patience is incredible. Looking forward to watching her progress❤️🐕🐕

[@behindthescenes07]

Such a thoughtful and thought provoking video, Carla. I had to pause half way through to have a moment to process the nuances of this situation. I hope that Joan manages to create some space, but also to keep the things that truly mean something special to her and bring her happiness, and that she can continue to live safely in her wonderful home for many years to come 🙏🏼✨

[@hopecarson120]

This was one of the best cleanups I've seen. Thank you, Carla, for a different point of view. This will help me help my stepmom (87) who has trouble letting go.

[@TheCarlaProject]

Glad it was helpful!❤️

[@ankiking]

Hoarders should watch all the clean out and cleaning shows they can, it really helps me.

[@Weirtoe]

I speak as a hoarder, and as someone overcoming it as well. I think the biggest problem in overcoming the hoarding is I had to feel the overwhelm of all the stuff. If you don't feel it, you don't see it. I also needed to experience the exhaustion from clearing it all, that drives home the determination to keep on top of it, and to appreciate the "clean" feeling an uncluttered home feels like. I think selling stuff might create a monster in Joan, she'll start buying stuff to make money. Joan probably came from a time where she didn't have anything, there was no such thing as clutter, no one could afford it. Having all this stuff around gives her security in its value, the memories give her value, but the benefits in clearing it all out is tenfold in comparison. It's a huge thing for Joan to allow to happen, takes a lot of courage and swallowing pride and it's a massive, overwhelming job for Todd. Hope they get on top of it

[@NenneSez]

Thank You Joan for sharing this with us.

[@nalanikiema]

Joan’s son is awesome and seems so patient. I hope I’m that patient with my mom. It’s challenging to see them change. I look at my mom and in my mind she will always be 36. It’s hard to see them not being able to do what they were used to doing in their prime.

[@debbwebb1279]

When we had to move our parents, we gave our Mom different color dot stickers, we asked her to go through and color coded what was for sale, store or take with. She made all decisions in regards to this. Future series, maybe get some of those stickers and the kids can follow behind...Take care !

[@peggynorton5145]

Joan, I appreciate the struggle you are going through. Your home is going to be beautiful when you finish. The period architecture will shine again! Keep on keeping on!!! ❤❤❤

[@maryfielder3348]

Bless her heart! Until last year, she was taking care of her mother. Lots of memories. Her son is being very patient, although I know there will be moments when they disagree about what has to go. That's only natural. Good luck to all involved, and thanks and love to the whole community of friends that are helping her get through this. Keep up the good work, Joan!!

[@bonniehodgson8776]

What a lovely woman! Her son is so good to her. Wonderful video Carla 😊❤️

[@LynnStAubin-od5qe]

I listened to Swedish Death Cleaning on audiobooks. I actually listened to it twice. It helped me to realize that I would rather give things to friends and family now that they might enjoy than leave them for my distraught children to have to deal with. Books were a biggie for me too. I’m down to one bookcase👍

[@dogwalker97]

Thank you Todd and Carla in assisting Joan as she makes changes and declutters. I love tat the neighbors are also supportive.

[@EsterHorbach-it9tb]

Hi Carla and Joan. Circumstances change. But we want to have a say in the changes and not being overruled. I hope everything works out ok in your home the way you can live with. All the best wishes from Germany. 😊

[@onceuponascream]

Joan you should be proud of your progress and thank you for allowing us to see it ❤ clearing things to the point where you'll be able to ENJOY the beautiful items you've collected and created over the years will be so rewarding in the end. Rooting for you in your journey.

[@brendakelly6965]

Joan seems like an amazing person. I hope she can let go of a lot of stuff and take her home back. You got this Joan! Love this video Carla ❤

[@labradorite8256]

I just want to say, I think there's a time and place for the nursing home. There are many bad ones out there, but there are good ones. If you visit you will soon find out. Cost factors aside, it's better to suss that avenue out now so you an have that contingency, because you don't know what will happen. Both of my in-laws were well take care of. They both had dementia and their needs were beyond what we could provide. MIL resisted for a long time. She said they'd carry her out of the house in a pine box but it didn't work that way. She kept having falls and then one day it was so bad the hospital would not send her home again. It took a while to settle in but once she did she'd never looked happier. Mum passed too suddenly for that stage, but Dad had a long term illness. When it reached its final stages, they made him comfortable and then he insisted on going home. It was a disaster. It was beyond my brother to take care of such high needs, so Dad went back in to hospital and it then took ages to find him a place to for palliative care because it hasn't been our focus. My last phone call with him was him going out of his mind with "hospital fever" and then he spent 2 weeks in the nursing home, unable to take visitors because he'd finally contracted Covid (after all this time). It was dreadful for us all. Then we had the mammoth task of emptying the house whilst grieving. Don't leave this for your loved ones. There is nothing wrong with planning for these situations, and if you do die peacefully at home, good for you. It's what we'd all prefer, but sometimes it doesn't work out that way. Its almost as if people feel if their stuff is in the house, then they won't be kicked out. I heard an older colleague say we don't plan for this stage of life well enough, long before I ever heard of Swedish death cleaning. Now I'm in my 50s I've started it already. I still have plenty of hobbies and children at home but I'm thinking about it, after going through both sets of households to declutter, I can't leave that task for others, and actually gives me GREATER control because I'm still fit enough to assert myself and be involved. So much nice stuff got junked out of both houses because of the pressure we were under. If you value these beautiful things, sometimes it's better to let them go.

[@suzihill78]

She’s on the right track thinking of the things being used in a new home. Hopefully she’ll think the same with the books eventually. Being used by someone rather than sitting doing nothing on her shelf. A book case full of her favourites will be a lovely addition to the room once it’s cleared. Great job everyone.

[@jen....]

Carla, I admire how patient and understanding you are with the people you help. I've never had such a hard time watching one of your videos. Hoarders can come across as very selfish and also as dismissive of other people, but it's obviously a very complex issue and they deserve compassion and help. You did a great job here. Having a third party like you come in undoubtably made this situation more tolerable for mother and son. I bet you were all exhausted.

[@tammygreene5323]

This work is mentally as well as physically fatiguing so I admire the great forward progress that Joan has made. Wishing her all the best as she continues down her decluttering journey toward a safer environment.

[@jennyjenkins877]

This forced declutter is a very different situation than other videos where the person reaches out to you because they want to declutter. You did a super job of adjusting your approach.

[@lindakleiner5734]

Joan you’re doing a wonderful job. Your son Todd is so loving you raise a great son.

[@paulakelley4845]

So special! Showing that as we age, we continue to grow in accepting who we are and that life changes. Looking at the positive as she is confronted by a someone with authority telling her she needs to part with precious items, instead of sinking into despair. How wonderful that her Son is with her as well as all the kindness of Strangers.

[@This.is.Bonnie]

Would love to see a follow-up with Joan in the future!

[@rexyzvent5864]

She's very spritely. Todd did a great job. Lovely to hear the neighbours came out to help

[@marthasherod9007]

Carla, I hope you give us a Joan update on a few months.

[@nettie8060]

Doing good Joan , thank goodness Todd is willing and able to help 🎉

[@misrose673]

What a brave woman! Her confidence is lovely :) And Todd is a good son!

[@evareiter6906]

omg i love it! its like a documentary. everyone tells their part, everything is tolerated. love how wholesome this is

[@rachelspoon4741]

Loved just listening to Joan talk :) such a kind soul and thank u Tod for being such a wonderful son. Carla, you certainly spread so much positivity and motivation. ❤ cannot wait to see more

[@heatherobrien7782]

What a gorgeous, caring and kind son Todd is.❤

[@cindyfields8144]

What a lovely lady. She is a treasure in herself. I would love to see how it comes together for her. A lot of work for many but she seems to have a good support system. I enjoyed hearing about her life experiences and memories. Thanks for sharing.

[@jenwynn19]

I’m a hoarder I get it. It’s hard and most people don’t understand.

[@judithgibson8970]

Watching the KZbin channel "Peeling Away the Clutter" really helped me understand the challenges some face trying to declutter. A woman, Mira, documents her thought process during both good and bad days as she moves through her home one room at a time over months. Taking it at a pace she can handle, she lets others like her know they can do this too and they are OK. I love her statement "That's a problem for future me". Carla is wonderful in letting Joan express her challenges as well. In both cases progress is being made. Give yourself grace in moving forward at you own pace.

[@shannonw6604]

@@judithgibson8970 Love watching Mira's journey. There seems to be a lot of focus on holding on to control with hoarding. The ultimate control is doing the decluttering yourself. My Mom won't face any of it. She just laughs and says it is for me to deal with. Unfortunately my health doesn't permit that kind of labour intensive work. In the end, the house and belongings will be the banks problem.

[@hazelm.9434]

This was a wonderful video because no one understands how difficult it is to get rid of things that have sentimental value to the owner. To admit to being a hoarder is not only amazing, it's freeing. Other people say, just get rid of it; but to a hoarder, they know the "life" of an item or thing. It's wonderful that her son is willingly trying to help her and can understand her hesitancy but sticks by her regardless. Good luck to them both.

[@alanbirkner1958]

Hi Joan and Carla. I'm 74, my mom hoarded papers, clothing, and smelly trash. I do many crafts. Every day, I toss at least 20 items. Trash, recycle, or giveaway and don't buy more. If you get rid of some books you don't need, the more room for other items, BTW. Tina, Al's wife

[@Michellehardyorg]

I feel for both Joan and Todd. If she's willing a whole new way of life is waiting for them both.

[@christinedisneyqueen5746]

I love this video! Joan is such an inspiration and her son Todd is a gem. You were so kind when interviewing her. 🩷

[@patchouleigh_]

I agree, she is inspiring. I wish to be as "young" as Joan seems at 81.

[@user-sw9if6fe4p]

This was so much fun to watch! But the best part of your videos is the MUSIC! I don't know how you pick it, or from where but the variety is amazing! Thanks!

[@judyellen4412]

I really appreciated to hear what jobs you had in your younger years, Joan. It gives a perspective of what older people were able to do, which might get them the respect they deserve from others. So they aren’t just looked as an “old” person with no dimension to them. You raised a good son from what I can see. He is helping you in a very difficult situation. Keep on going, Joan, so you can reach what you have envisioned for your home to become. Thanks for bringing this to us, Carla.

[@reginatripp7492]

Thank you Joan for helping me to understand my mother-in-law better. She has medical issues. We’ve always said she is stubborn. But , after hearing your words, I will look at her differently. Thank you for your wisdom! Thanks Carla! I would love to see Joan’s progress.

[@margaretvillalpando7722]

Most of us have too much stuff and as we get older we tend to have more than younger folks. I have decluttered several times over the years and have gotten rid of a lot of stuff in the last four years but need to get rid of more. I am bad to collect home decor for the most part. My husband is somewhat a hoarder, but he tends to "collect" things like electronics, whistles, tools, bike gadgets/helmets, all kinds of gadgets, owl figurines, books, and different types of things. He has five bikes, and 20 ukeleles. He used to have a huge record collection, but I finally talked him into getting rid of those. I have been able to talk him into getting rid of things over the years but he tends to replace them with other types of things. I have learned that if I talk him into decluttering some things and make space, he tends to fill up the space again. Our home is not inhabitable, and we can still park our cars in the garage, etc. I like to keep things too, but I tend to declutter more than my husband.

[@dmoody-hs7zj]

Joan, I’m rooting for you and though I don’t know you, I am proud of you. I enjoyed today’s episode Carla, thanks a bunch!

[@karenarchibee7674]

Joan is so insightful, and I appreciate her sharing her thoughts. Thank you for sharing, I am rooting for her!

[@chrisludwig3610]

What a lovely family. I can totally relate to this. My 82 year old mother is a hoarder. She has said we (her children) can take care of it when she's gone. My husband and I moved in with her after my Dad passed in 2020. We have been able to get rid of some things, but there's still a long way to go. She's not open and willing like Joan. Keep up the good work Carla. Love and light to all of you. ❤

[@zingara76]

Thank you Joan for letting us inside your home. My mother also is a hoarder and is been extremely difficult for us. For me is hard because lots of the items she keeps are dangerous for her as she can get hurt by them. Then there’s the fact that I’ll have to clean up all the stuff once she’s gone and instead of me dealing with the pain she’ll leave me with work. It’s overall a difficult process, but thanks for sharing makes me understand my mother a little more.

[@kathleenkaleookalanismith8724]

You got this Joan!!!! The sign of a genius is that they are able to change!!!! Have new ideas and take new actions!! ❤

[@PTE399]

Wow - this is so positive compared to the tv hoarding shows. This sweet Lady is willing to work with others and herself but on her own terms, no blaming others just requires respect and empathy. Thank you Carla for letting us into this Lady’s life. Please keep us updated on how she is doing. You’re so sweet and kind with her. 🪷💙✝️❤️🕊🙏🏻🕉

[@mtnewt1]

It takes special people to work with those who have hoarding disorder because it's so hard on them mentally & emotionally. It may have taken the city stepping in to light some fire under her butt, but I know she'll be so happy to have the space to be creative and do what she loves ❤. May Todd be blessed for his hard work & dedication!!!