9/11 Story | Chris Distefano | Stand Up Comedy

Chrissy Chaos aka Distefano went up at the Comedy Cellar and told his 9/11 story.
#ChrisDistefano #StandUp #Comedy
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Filmed and Edited by THEHOMELESSPIMP
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Chris first burst onto the scene as a standout on MTV’s talking heads franchise Guy Code/Girl Code, with PopSugar naming him the “funniest guy on MTV.” He went on to star in the IFC series Benders and serve as co-host of Netflix’s Ultimate Beastmaster. He also recently starred in and Co-Executive Produced the Sony/CBS pilot Distefano, based on his life and written by Carter Bays and Craig Thomas, the creators of How I Met Your Mother.

[@bernardfarquharson3275]

“But vodka sodas, Tito’s, it’s gluten free, it’s keto, Vinny Guadanino, the keto guido said I could do it.” UNDERRATED

[@monicatoloza3213]

1:46

[@Dannydagoatie]

It gets me everytime

[@S1X_Bucks]

Think we all laughed at that line.

[@scoooters]

Just off the fly

[@younggeriatric2350]

It’s all Im gonna say When I have Alzheimers

[@Locus047]

"I'm daddy's little princess and I know what daddy wants" 😂😂

[@jokornerq]

Natural comedian, jokes in between jokes IN BETWEEN jokes. Amazing

[@janetd443]

Tangents!

[@idontwantahandlethough]

we got _30 Rock_ levels of joke density up in here!

[@danielbeasley1495]

the “never forget” line was so intelligently placed i literally said “lmao” verbally

[@yoitsvic1126]

Amazing…a lot of people don’t get it but we from NY so yea.

[@chonky9586]

It was BWAAAAAHA

[@abraxas546]

@@yoitsvic1126I'm from Switzerland and even I get it

[@DiffLOX]

If something is so hilarious, I have no idea why you literally saying "lmao" makes any sense. Just laugh you jackass.

[@yanks1359]

You literally said lmao? Loser!

[@clayrester9342]

without a doubt, one of the best stand up bits of all time.....

[@uschilevermann5712]

Agree!

[@jonestraloma]

Ngl, I was thinking that halfway through and I never even seen this guy before

[@user-ws8uw2jy2w]

@@jonestraloma Dude Chris is great, he's pretty popular right now but he's gonna be huge in a few years. Truly a wild and funny guy

[@HieroglyphixHax]

@@jonestraloma is he actually trans tho?

[@sleepiehead]

came to the comment section to write just this!!!

[@la.4971]

This man single handedly cured my depression and I rewatch this video regularly to keep the serotonin pumping. Great comedy.

[@yoitsvic1126]

Amen

[@terenceflynn5125]

You weren’t depressed if one dude telling a silly story for ten minutes “cured” it. Jesus Christ.

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

Your dad is a legend.

[@T_D_B_]

We need a podcast with that man

[@therevanchistv]

@@T_D_B_ just the accent alone will have me watch it

[@luxintelligentia4632]

Sigh.. you must be a happy man. Ignorance is bliss

[@MalcolmR9798]

@@T_D_B_ there is

[@MitchellBahamas]

@@T_D_B_ well you’re in luck. His dad is actually on a podcast with him now! KZbin it. You’re welcome 😌

[@MikeLaBelle]

this story never gets old 🤣🤣

[@davidwiltshire2141]

Of all the videos i click tonight i click 1 commented on by the Fifa Goat himself... what are the odds 😆😅

[@Menibor1]

Yes it does

[@ntutino1980]

What’s a FIFA goat?

[@ludmillagutomo]

YES! 😂😂😂

[@zeragon7]

@@Menibor1 and yet oddly enough you're here.....

[@Vanness11]

“I was on steroids, I had puffy nipples, still do, but now I’m on Keto so Fuck you!” Hahaha the attitude and honesty kills me

[@lee4094]

He said “Jesus Christs height and weight in gold round his neck” 😂😂😂😂

[@Dragonballzdeep1455]

"Look at that, whoop-de-do now you're not on the phone!" LMFAO.

[@jacktomala4561]

I can hear the homeless pimp laughing

[@joshj1420]

Still one of the greatest sets in my opinion! makes me laugh every time!

[@dylannelson501]

I’ve heard this story with Chris sober as priest, and 3 sheets to the wind, both are fantastic. Absolute legend

[@chubbyakajc]

Chrissy “Milking this set for every penny” Gotta pay them taxes!

[@Roy-G-Biv]

gotta pay them long island taxes...............so funny and true.

[@pau5289]

lmaooo

[@JonLaneSkates]

😝😝

[@willkoestner4159]

It's a good story. Can't say I wouldnt do the same

[@LukasArnold1]

This story is like wine, it just gets better with time

[@MultiBluedog123]

Chrissy “ reuploads”

[@Logan-hw7mn]

But why so early is my question

[@ajones5683]

It was on History Hyenas channel.. Chrissy can put his solo work on his own channel too cmon.

[@tinyspacepeople9384]

At least it's good material

[@momonyak]

Reupload yet I will watch it every time.

[@joes6108]

I can't believe you stole Steve renazizys story!

[@jamesmcmahon4592]

Could watch this a thousand times and still laugh. Pure gold.

[@Mrs_Small]

Drunk Chrissy is my favorite Chrissy! I wanna see a $25 drunk Chrissy ep!

[@tabularasa820]

Thanks for Re-uploading for the 20 year anniversary of this event. Never Forget

[@deenice3957]

When he was explaining what his dad was wearing is the most New York thing in the world. 🤣🤣🤣

[@JG-tt9gq]

Chrisy “just spent all my money on a house time to re upload some bangers”

[@HealthyBodyForLife]

This is legit one of the funniest and engaging stand up stories hahaha love you Chrissy

[@nhughes95]

That was a laugh I definitely needed. This man is an easy new favorite of mine, keep at it babe.

[@stephanieandjared390]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Had to come back and listen to this again after hearing Jerry Seinfeld called about it 🔥

[@robertguarino355]

That was one of the funniest stories I've ever heard of my life

[@jscho8674]

I just watched this 3 times in a row, and sent the video to multiple friends. This guy is a scream. What a story!!! 😂

[@Highnz57]

"Another straight white male, booo." Crowd hysterically laughs at the "straight" part. Lol Great set. Fkn funny af.

[@RyanABC123]

This is actually a really sweet story about a dad who loves his son. It’s just not in the conventional way.

[@Pedrolaboca]

“I just put a kid in a legit coma” gets me off guard every time

[@Bodycountunknown]

"Chrissy daddy's girl" is one of the funniest things I've ever heard 😅

[@John_B.]

You can re upload this once a week and I’ll still watch it every time! Shoutout frank for laughing at Chrissy and giving us this gem

[@AKDCM]

This is hands down one of the top 3 funniest stand up sets I’ve ever watched. Lmaooooo

[@q1hunnit502]

I mean this literally when I say that I’ve watched this video over 50 times. Every time someone comes to visit I make them watch this shit. If they don’t laugh and immediately follow Chrissy I cut them out of my life. I don’t need that kind of negativity

[@Menibor1]

That's a whole new level of nut hugging..... congratulations

[@debbieallen2650]

I was just thinking the same thing. I want to send this video to all my friends and say, "If you don't think this guy is hilarious, we can't be friends".

[@ShadyRonin]

“and immediately follow Chrissy” lmao

[@killaap659]

I will never get tired of this 😂

[@kirklandwassabi8619]

Omg im fuckin cryinggg. One of the best bits I’ve heard in a while. Chrissy babe you buggin 🤣

[@Angellaye]

I've seen this 3 times already but I'm watching again so you can pay your taxes Chrissy

[@robotoolecomedy]

If Bert can make a movie about the machine story after having a whole special about it and a tour named after it. He can re upload this

[@kelseymccleary1271]

Well now i gotta go watch this one lol

[@Menibor1]

Bert's story is trash and fake

[@Dexter-nw2fe]

Thats the least funny story there is

[@nash87jn]

I watch this atleast twice a week lol your hilarious keep up the great work

[@russellws07]

Reminder to watch it again :)

[@jordangiannini7766]

Absolute chaos move, Chrissy. Respect it babe

[@SHEISHANSSON]

Unhinged and chaotic. We love it.

[@gabiinova_glichuss]

Im crying😂 this guy just spews comedy!

[@franciscolopez1413]

The lasticity of his humor has me rolling

[@sharonbull4303]

Came here to say this. I love the lasticity of this story

[@danam312]

I thought taking a swing at a teacher, in a parent teacher conference, and my mom asking for my transfer papers before they could do anything else was a masterful move.

[@codybarrier6295]

Never heard of this dude until I watched this video and I am an instant fan.

[@jxckhxncho7121]

Same heeeeere

[@HonorableZealot]

I come back and watch this every couple of months and laugh just as hard as the first time. Chrissy D is the best in the biz

[@thyme4306]

This is so easily my favorite stand up bit of all time

[@idopoliti]

Drunk Chris is the best 🤣 I've watched this so many times

[@calisongbird]

I come back and watch this bit every couple months. Absolutely epic.

[@rogerbarry8607]

"What are you, isis?" gets me every time

[@lilywhite4554]

The impression of your dad sounds exactly like Adam Sandler and I’m here for it!

[@chikowashere]

Seriously this is legendary. I can see why Colin loves you, because 3 minutes in and I can see that you would've fit right in with the Cellar crowd.

[@user-nc9oo9eh3y]

Could watch this a thousand times and still laugh. Pure gold.. Natural comedian, jokes in between jokes IN BETWEEN jokes. Amazing.

[@abigailandino6251]

This was the very first time I was able to literally laugh out loud with a comedian speaking jokes of 9/11. Last year , and I came back this year to re-share. 😂 thank you. Best story and delivery ever!

[@jakewaber1425]

Chrissy didn’t pay his taxes so he re uploaded his most viewed video 😂 I love the Chaos

[@robertanderson9444]

I just heard an interview with Chris on the radio and it brought me here. Glad it Did. Comedy gold.

[@christophersmack6763]

This is mandatory viewing every 9/11

[@AnoNymous-le6fn]

If chrissy doesn't reupload it , i will scroll down myself and re-watch it.

[@dazling5890]

That is the funniest shit I've ever heard!🤣🤣🤣Your dad is a legend & you tell the story so amazingly that i can picture it perfectly in my head😂 Every time I feel like shit from now on I'm coming to this video🤣👌🏻✌🏻

[@laurendefonte9450]

This story will never get old. The best.

[@Dinkleberg66]

I don’t think I’ve ever laughed for 12 straight minutes

[@kellyb6198]

I've watched this so many times and I still cackle every time 😂

[@ludmillagutomo]

i forgot how many times i've watched this..but today, i watched this 3 times. still laughing my ass off 🤣🤣🤣

[@thatguyovathere8684]

A Chain thats Jesus's height and weight in GOLD ! ~Chris Distefano #BestLineInComedyHISTORY

[@josemoran9314]

Ive probably seen this bit over 15 times on different occasions, makes me die every time 😂 Hummus? Not today. I'll take it 364 days a year but not today! 🤣🤣

[@janetd443]

That line was very funny!

[@olkid]

This literally makes me feel drunk it's so funny 😂😂😂

[@janetd443]

The pace of it.

[@Deetrim]

I’m screaming “never forget, I forgot”

[@kukumbarglicko8082]

hahahah same

[@dantheman8279]

So funny, the jokes, the delivery, the accents, his laughing at his jokes, all of it! Love it!

[@kevinsapokguy]

I’ve rewatched this a million times and it’s always funny 😂

[@ivanchato371]

This guy is killing it damn Near cried

[@joshuaperezleduc871]

You can tell him and Sal are actual friends because their comedic timing, mannerisms, and the “all true” is so much like sal, but i love it cuz its like bffls and cute

[@cracklecracklebaybay5612]

Watching this set, is how I start my 9/11 every year. 😆 I'll never forget you Chrissy D. 😆

[@xnxtlvlx4194]

Such a random re-upload, but hey those taxes are not gonna pay themselves!! 🤣

[@mattyboy37d]

its that time off the year

[@MoarMike]

@@mattyboy37d da most wonderful time of the year

[@ajones5683]

This is first time uploading clip to his actual account.. the one with all the views was always on the HH channel ya tute

[@david14Herbie]

Still one of the funniest stories ever

[@daniiii0825]

I friggen love Chris!! He’s the best‼️ Keep rising!! Fan for life rt here

[@lggiraldo]

I have searched for this bit for such a long time!!! It is hands down one of the best I have ever seen....can´t stop laughing.

[@MrJBA79]

Honestly, this is one of the funniest performances I've ever seen. The very first material of yours I've seen, instant subscriber.

[@meghanelizabeth6710]

This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen

[@katieg7192]

I have a feeling Chris’ dad and mine would be friends as NY Italians. We love it babe.

[@claudiamarianidamato9499]

Yeah ok Katie

[@TentomushiHH]

You’re not italian.

[@bliss4921]

I keep coming back to this weekly, literally the best comic ❤️🤟🏼

[@Userhandle7384]

I showed my husband this clip and he didn’t laugh. We’re divorced now.

[@duskodragic8473]

Yeah, right.

[@JakeLoeppky]

Rewatch value is so good on this bit. So all over the place. Nuggets to be found and rediscovered each time. So funny

[@SophisticatedGengar]

This is hands down without a doubt the funniest story I've ever heard. I have listened to COUNTLESS comedy specials, hours of Bill Burr and Dave Chapelle ramblings, and never have I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt like this made me do. Every once in a while you see someone doing something and you can tell this is what they were MEANT to do, you were clearly meant to do comedy.

[@JWnFlorida]

Best version of the story. You rock thank you Christopher.

[@haeyoonjo3582]

Srsly I come back every hour to watch this video 🤣🤣 I'm dying hahaha

[@Pwnagotchi-0]

Omg I was rolling through this entire thing it was so funny

[@sirwhodison]

Ive seen this probably 20 times and i cry laughing everytime

[@justme_jessm]

This is legit fucking GOLD! Chrissy D is the king. Stand up comedy doesn't get any better than this baby! I've become a huge fan and I can't get enough of Chrissy D. I fucking love ya babes😘

[@genepatterson4375]

I just love Chris, his comedy is awesome, I never get tired of it

[@justiisvelk]

This is one of my all time favorite comedy bits

[@aydendunaway4740]

It’s tradition to listen to this every year

[@jessehays]

The chaos is real, never forget and never offer me humus on 9/11.

[@andresdeulofeu5199]

I’m sorry but I didn’t get the joke with the humus

[@taylormccraw5998]

@@andresdeulofeu5199 I think it’s because it’s from the middle east

[@thatguyovathere8684]

NEVER GETS OLD CHRISSY MUFFIN ! 💪😎

[@user-sq8ki8zi8u]

Your dad's a hero in my eyes!

[@joeywoodpieces4209]

This kid's silly as hell! lol Love'em!

[@ami3627]

@Joey Woodpieces YES!!!💯 Silly as hell! 🤪 You nailed it, ty.

[@josephcredendino2899]

Wow this story was incredible. Chris you are naturally hilarious

[@jasminerivera470]

This is gold!

[@vi0letrei]

again again again 👏

[@theguydudety]

I love this every time!

[@joked87isback]

Make no mistake chrissy re-uploads is comin at ya hard with the 9/11 story cuz when shit hits the fan you know a good Tony Ballz story will make everthing ok again.